’Mainline，’repliedMorris，andmentallydecidedthatthemanshouldhavehisshillingafterall。’Itwouldbemadnesstoattractattention，’thoughthe。’Butwhatthisthingwillcostme，firstandlast，beginstobeanightmare！’
Hepassedthroughthebooking—officeandwandereddisconsolatelyontheplatform。Itwasabreathing—spaceintheday’straffic。
Therewerefewpeoplethere，andtheseforthemostpartquiescentonthebenches。Morrisseemedtoattractnoremark，whichwasagoodthing;but，ontheotherhand，hewasmakingnoprogressinhisquest。Somethingmustbedone，somethingmustberisked。Everypassinginstantonlyaddedtohisdangers。
Summoningallhiscourage，hestoppedaporter，andaskedhimifherememberedreceivingabarrelbythemorningtrain。Hewasanxioustogetinformation，forthebarrelbelongedtoafriend。
’Itisamatterofsomemoment，’headded，’foritcontainsspecimens。’
’Iwasnotherethismorning，sir，’respondedtheporter，somewhatreluctantly，’butI’llaskBill。Doyourecollect，Bill，tohavegotabarrelfromBournemouththismorningcontainingspecimens？’
’Idon’tknowaboutspecimens，’repliedBill;’butthepartyasreceivedthebarrelImeanraisedasightoftrouble。’
’What’sthat？’criedMorris，intheagitationofthemomentpressingapennyintotheman’shand。
’Yousee，sir，thebarrelarrivedatone—thirty。Nooneclaimedittillaboutthree，whenasmall，sickly——lookinggentleman（probablyacurate）cameup，andsezhe，\"HaveyougotanythingforPitman？\"or\"Wili’mBentPitman，\"ifIrecollectright。\"I
don’texactlyknow，\"sezI，\"butIratherfancythattherebarrelbearsthatname。\"Thelittlemanwentuptothebarrel，andseemedregularlyalltookabackwhenhesawtheaddress，andthenhepitchedintousfornothavingbroughtwhathewanted。\"I
don’tcareadamnwhatyouwant，\"sezItohim，\"butifyouareWill’mBentPitman，there’syourbarrel。\"’
’Well，anddidhetakeit？’criedthebreathlessMorris。
’Well，sir，’returnedBill，’itappearsitwasapacking—casehewasafter。Thepacking—casecame;that’ssureenough，becauseitwasaboutthebiggestpacking—caseeverIclappedeyeson。AndthisPitmanheseemedagooddealcutup，andhehadthesuperintendentout，andtheygotholdofthevanman——himastookthepacking—case。Well，sir，’continuedBill，withasmile，’I
neverseeamaninsuchastate。Everybodyaboutthatvanwasmortal，barthehorses。Somegen’leman（aswellasIcouldmakeout）hadgiventhevanmanasov。;andsothatwaswherethetroublecomein，yousee。’
’Butwhatdidhesay？’gaspedMorris。
’Idon’tknowasheSAIDmuch，sir，’saidBill。’ButheofferedtofightthisPitmanforapotofbeer。Hehadlosthisbook，too，andthereceipts，andhismenwereallasmortalashimself。
O，theywerealllike’——andBillpausedforasimile——’likelords！Thesuperintendentsackedthemonthespot。’
’O，come，butthat’snotsobad，’saidMorris，withaburstingsigh。’Hecouldn’ttellwherehetookthepacking—case，then？’
’Nothe，’saidBill，’noryetnothinkelse。’
’Andwhat——whatdidPitmando？’askedMorris。
’O，hewentoffwiththebarrelinafour—wheeler，verytremblinglike，’repliedBill。’Idon’tbelievehe’sagentlemanashasgoodhealth。’
’Well，sothebarrel’sgone，’saidMorris，halftohimself。
’Youmaydependonthat，sir，’returnedtheporter。’Butyouhadbetterseethesuperintendent。’
’Notintheleast;it’sofnoaccount，’saidMorris。’Itonlycontainedspecimens。’Andhewalkedhastilyaway。
Ensconcedoncemoreinahansom，heproceededtoreconsiderhisposition。Suppose（hethought），supposeheshouldacceptdefeatanddeclarehisuncle’sdeathatonce？Heshouldlosethetontine，andwiththatthelasthopeofhisseventhousandeighthundredpounds。Butontheotherhand，sincetheshillingtothehansomcabman，hehadbeguntoseethatcrimewasexpensiveinitscourse，and，sincethelossofthewater—butt，thatitwasuncertaininitsconsequences。Quietlyatfirst，andthenwithgrowingheat，hereviewedtheadvantagesofbackingout。Itinvolvedaloss;but（cometothinkofit）nosuchgreatlossafterall;onlythatofthetontine，whichhadbeenalwaysatoss—up，whichatbottomhehadneverreallyexpected。Heremindedhimselfofthateagerly;hecongratulatedhimselfuponhisconstantmoderation。Hehadneverreallyexpectedthetontine;hehadneverevenverydefinitelyhopedtorecoverhisseventhousandeighthundredpounds;hehadbeenhurriedintothewholethingbyMichael’sobviousdishonesty。Yes，itwouldprobablybebettertodrawbackfromthishigh—flyingventure，settlebackontheleatherbusiness——
’GreatGod！’criedMorris，boundinginthehansomlikeaJack—in—a—box。’Ihavenotonlynotgainedthetontine——Ihavelosttheleatherbusiness！’
Suchwasthemonstrousfact。Hehadnopowertosign;hecouldnotdrawachequeforthirtyshillings。Untilhecouldproducelegalevidenceofhisuncle’sdeath，hewasapennilessoutcast——andassoonasheproducedithehadlostthetontine！
TherewasnohesitationonthepartofMorris;todropthetontinelikeahotchestnut，toconcentrateallhisforcesontheleatherbusinessandtherestofhissmallbutlegitimateinheritance，wasthedecisionofasingleinstant。Andthenext，thefullextentofhiscalamitywassuddenlydisclosedtohim。
Declarehisuncle’sdeath？Hecouldn’t！SincethebodywaslostJosephhad（inalegalsense）becomeimmortal。
TherewasnocreatedvehiclebigenoughtocontainMorrisandhiswoes。Hepaidthehansomoffandwalkedonheknewnotwhither。
’Iseemtohavegoneintothisbusinesswithtoomuchprecipitation，’hereflected，withadeadlysigh。’Ifearitseemstooramifiedforapersonofmypowersofmind。’
Andthenaremarkofhisuncle’sflashedintohismemory：Ifyouwanttothinkclearly，putitalldownonpaper。’Well，theoldboyknewathingortwo，’saidMorris。’Iwilltry;butIdon’tbelievethepaperwasevermadethatwillclearmymind。’
Heenteredaplaceofpublicentertainment，orderedbreadandcheese，andwritingmaterials，andsatdownbeforethemheavily。
Hetriedthepen。Itwasanexcellentpen，butwhatwashetowrite？’Ihaveit，’criedMorris。’RobinsonCrusoeandthedoublecolumns！’Hepreparedhispaperafterthatclassicmodel，andbeganasfollows：
Bad。Good。
1。1havelostmyuncle’sbody。1。ButthenPitmanhasfoundit。
’Stopabit，’saidMorris。’Iamlettingthespiritofantithesisrunawaywithme。Let’sstartagain。’
Bad。Good。
1。Ihavelostmyuncle’sbody。
1。ButthenInolongerrequiretoburyit。
2。Ihavelostthetontine。
2。ButImaystillsavethatifPitmandisposesofthebody，andifIcanfindaphysicianwhowillstickatnothing。
3。Ihavelosttheleatherbusinessandtherestofmyuncle’ssuccession。
3。ButnotifPitmangivesthebodyuptothepolice。
’O，butinthatcaseIgotogaol;Ihadforgotthat，’thoughtMorris。’Indeed，Idon’tknowthatIhadbetterdwellonthathypothesisatall;it’sallverywelltotalkoffacingtheworst;butinacaseofthiskindaman’sfirstdutyistohisownnerve。IsthereanyanswertoNo。3？Isthereanypossiblegoodsidetosuchabeastlybungle？Theremustbe，ofcourse，orwherewouldbetheuseofthisdouble—entrybusiness？And——byGeorge，Ihaveit！’heexclaimed;’it’sexactlythesameasthelast！’Andhehastilyre—wrotethepassage：
Bad。Good。
3。Ihavelosttheleatherbusinessandtherestofmyuncle’ssuccession。
3。ButnotifIcanfindaphysicianwhowillstickatnothing。
’Thisvenaldoctorseemsquiteadesideratum，’hereflected。’I
wanthimfirsttogivemeacertificatethatmyuncleisdead，sothatImaygettheleatherbusiness;andthenthathe’salive——buthereweareagainattheincompatibleinterests！’Andhereturnedtohistabulation：
Bad。Good。
4。Ihavealmostnomoney。4。Butthereisplentyinthebank。
5。Yes，butIcan’tgetthemoneyinthebank。
5。But——well，thatseemsunhappilytobethecase。
6。IhaveleftthebillforeighthundredpoundsinUncleJoseph’spocket。
6。ButifPitmanisonlyadishonestman，thepresenceofthisbillmayleadhimtokeepthewholethingdarkandthrowthebodyintotheNewCut。
7。Yes，butifPitmanisdishonestandfindsthebill，hewillknowwhoJosephis，andhemayblackmailme。
7。Yes，butifIamrightaboutUncleMasterman，IcanblackmailMichael。
8。ButIcan’tblackmailMichael（whichis，besides，averydangerousthingtodo）untilIfindout。
8。Worseluck！
9。Theleatherbusinesswillsoonwantmoneyforcurrentexpenses，andIhavenonetogive。
9。Buttheleatherbusinessisasinkingship。
10。Yes，butit’salltheshipIhave。
10。Afact。
11。Johnwillsoonwantmoney，andIhavenonetogive。
11。
12。Andthevenaldoctorwillwantmoneydown。
12。
13。AndifPitmanisdishonestanddon’tsendmetogaol，hewillwantafortune。
13。
’O，thisseemstobeaveryone—sidedbusiness，’exclaimedMorris。’There’snotsomuchinthismethodasIwasledtothink。’Hecrumpledthepaperupandthrewitdown;andthen，thenextmoment，pickeditupagainandranitover。’Itseemsit’sonthefinancialpointthatmypositionisweakest，’hereflected。’Istherepositivelynowayofraisingthewind？Inavastcitylikethis，andsurroundedbyalltheresourcesofcivilization，itseemsnottobeconceived！Letushavenomoreprecipitation。IstherenothingIcansell？Mycollectionofsignet——’ButatthethoughtofscatteringtheselovedtreasuresthebloodleapedintoMorris’scheck。’Iwouldratherdie！’heexclaimed，and，cramminghishatuponhishead，strodeforthintothestreets。
’IMUSTraisefunds，’hethought。’Myunclebeingdead，themoneyinthebankismine，orwouldbeminebutforthecursedinjusticethathaspursuedmeeversinceIwasanorphaninacommercialacademy。Iknowwhatanyothermanwoulddo;anyothermaninChristendomwouldforge;althoughIdon’tknowwhyIcallitforging，either，whenJoseph’sdead，andthefundsaremyown。
WhenIthinkofthat，whenIthinkthatmyuncleisreallyasdeadasmutton，andthatIcan’tproveit，mygorgerisesattheinjusticeofthewholeaffair。Iusedtofeelbitterlyaboutthatseventhousandeighthundredpounds;itseemsatriflenow！Dearme，why，thedaybeforeyesterdayIwascomparativelyhappy。’
AndMorrisstoodonthesidewalkandheavedanothersobbingsigh。
’Thenthere’sanotherthing，’heresumed;’canI？AmIable？Whydidn’tIpractisedifferenthandwritingswhileIwasyoung？Howafellowregretsthoselostopportunitieswhenhegrowsup！Butthere’sonecomfort：it’snotmorallywrong;Icantryitonwithaclearconscience，andevenifIwasfoundout，Iwouldn’tgreatlycare——morally，Imean。Andthen，ifIsucceed，andifPitmanisstaunch，there’snothingtodobutfindavenaldoctor;
andthatoughttobesimpleenoughinaplacelikeLondon。Byallaccountsthetown’salivewiththem。Itwouldn’tdo，ofcourse，toadvertiseforacorruptphysician;thatwouldbeimpolitic。
No，Isupposeafellowhassimplytospotalongthestreetsforaredlampandherbsinthewindow，andthenyougoinand——and——andputittohimplainly;thoughitseemsadelicatestep。’
Hewasnearhomenow，aftermanydeviouswanderings，andturnedupJohnStreet。Ashethrusthislatchkeyinthelock，anothermortifyingreflectionstruckhimtotheheart。
’NoteventhishouseisminetillIcanprovehimdead，’hesnarled，andslammedthedoorbehindhimsothatthewindowsintheatticrattled。
Nighthadlongfallen;longagothelampsandtheshop—frontshadbeguntoglitterdowntheendlessstreets;thelobbywaspitch——dark;and，asthedevilwouldhaveit，MorrisbarkedhisshinsandsprawledallhislengthoverthepedestalofHercules。
Thepainwassharp;histemperwasalreadythoroughlyundermined;
byalastmisfortunehishandclosedonthehammerashefell;
and，inaspasmofchildishirritation，heturnedandstruckattheoffendingstatue。Therewasasplinteringcrash。
’OLord，whathaveIdonenext？’wailedMorris;andhegropedhiswaytofindacandle。’Yes，’hereflected，ashestoodwiththelightinhishandandlookeduponthemutilatedleg，fromwhichaboutapoundofmusclewasdetached。’Yes，Ihavedestroyedagenuineantique;Imaybeinforthousands！’Andthentheresprungupinhisbosomasortofangryhope。’Letmesee，’hethought。’Julia’sgotridof——，there’snothingtoconnectmewiththatbeastForsyth;themenwerealldrunk，and（what’sbetter）they’vebeenalldischarged。O，come，Ithinkthisisanothercaseofmoralcourage！I’lldenyallknowledgeofthething。’
Amomentmore，andhestoodagainbeforetheHercules，hislipssternlycompressed，thecoal—axeandthemeat—cleaverunderhisarm。Thenext，hehadfallenuponthepacking—case。ThishadbeenalreadyseriouslyunderminedbytheoperationsofGideon;afewwell—directedblows，anditalreadyquakedandgaped;yetafewmore，anditfellaboutMorrisinashowerofboardsfollowedbyanavalancheofstraw。
Andnowtheleather—merchantcouldbeholdthenatureofhistask：
andatthefirstsighthisspiritquailed。Itwas，indeed，nomoreambitiousataskforDeLesseps，withallhismenandhorses，toattackthehillsofPanama，thanforasingle，slimyounggentleman，withnopreviousexperienceoflabourinaquarry，tomeasurehimselfagainstthatbloatedmonsteronhispedestal。Andyetthepairwerewellencountered：ontheoneside，bulk——ontheother，genuineheroicfire。
’Downyoushallcome，yougreatbig，uglybrute！’criedMorrisaloud，withsomethingofthatpassionwhichswepttheParisianmobagainstthewallsoftheBastille。’Downyoushallcome，thisnight。I’llhavenoneofyouinmylobby。’
Theface，fromitsindecentexpression，hadparticularlyanimatedthezealofouriconoclast;anditwasagainstthefacethathebeganhisoperations。Thegreatheightofthedemigod——forhestoodafathomandhalfinhisstocking—feet——offeredapreliminaryobstacletothisattack。Buthere，inthefirstskirmishofthebattle，intellectalreadybegantotriumphovermatter。Bymeansofapairoflibrarysteps，theinjuredhouseholdergainedapostureofadvantage;and，withgreatswipesofthecoal—axe，proceededtodecapitatethebrute。
Twohourslater，whathadbeentheerectimageofagiganticcoal—porterturnedmiraculouslywhite，wasnownomorethanamedleyofdisjectedmembers;thequadragenariantorsoproneagainstthepedestal;thelasciviouscountenanceleeringdownthekitchenstair;thelegs，thearms，thehands，andeventhefingers，scatteredbroadcastonthelobbyfloor。Halfanhourmore，andallthedebrishadbeenlaboriouslycartedtothekitchen;andMorris，withagentlesentimentoftriumph，lookedrounduponthesceneofhisachievements。Yes，hecoulddenyallknowledgeofitnow：thelobby，beyondthefactthatitwaspartlyruinous，betrayednotraceofthepassageofHercules。ButitwasawearyMorristhatcreptuptobed;hisarmsandshouldersached，thepalmsofhishandsburnedfromtheroughkissesofthecoal—axe，andtherewasonesmartingfingerthatstolecontinuallytohismouth。Sleeplongdelayedtovisitthedilapidatedhero，andwiththefirstpeepofdayithadagaindesertedhim。
Themorning，asthoughtoaccordwithhisdisastrousfortunes，dawnedinclemently。Aneasterlygalewasshoutinginthestreets;
flawsofrainangrilyassailedthewindows;andasMorrisdressed，thedraughtfromthefireplacevividlyplayedabouthislegs。
’Ithink，’hecouldnothelpobservingbitterly，’thatwithallI
havetobear，theymighthavegivenmedecentweather。’
Therewasnobreadinthehouse，forMissHazeltine（likeallwomenlefttothemselves）hadsubsistedentirelyuponcake。Butsomeofthiswasfound，and（alongwithwhatthepoetscallaglassoffair，coldwater）madeupasemblanceofamorningmeal，andthendownhesatundauntedlytohisdelicatetask。
Nothingcanbemoreinterestingthanthestudyofsignatures，written（astheyare）beforemealsandafter，duringindigestionandintoxication;writtenwhenthesigneristremblingforthelifeofhischildorhascomefromwinningtheDerby，inhislawyer’soffice，orunderthebrighteyesofhissweetheart。Tothevulgar，theseseemneverthesame;buttotheexpert，thebankclerk，orthelithographer，theyareconstantquantities，andasrecognizableastheNorthStartothenight—watchondeck。
ToallthisMorriswasalive。Inthetheoryofthatgracefulartinwhichhewasnowembarking，ourspiritedleather—merchantwasbeyondallreproach。But，happilyfortheinvestor，forgeryisanaffairofpractice。AndasMorrissatsurroundedbyexamplesofhisuncle’ssignatureandofhisownincompetence，insidiousdepressionstoleuponhisspirits。Fromtimetotimethewindwutheredinthechimneyathisback;fromtimetotimetheresweptoverBloomsburyasquallsodarkthathemustriseandlightthegas;abouthimwasthechillandthemeandisorderofahouseoutofcommission——thefloorbare，thesofaheapedwithbooksandaccountsenvelopedinadirtytable—cloth，thepensrusted，thepaperglazedwithathickfilmofdust;andyetthesewerebutadminiclesofmisery，andthetruerootofhisdepressionlayroundhimonthetableintheshapeofmisbegottenforgeries。
’It’soneofthestrangestthingsIeverheardof，’hecomplained。’ItalmostseemsasifitwasatalentthatIdidn’tpossess。’Hewentoncemoreminutelythroughhisproofs。’Aclerkwouldsimplygibeatthem，’saidhe。’Well，there’snothingelsebuttracingpossible。’
Hewaitedtillasquallhadpassedandtherecameablinkofscowlingdaylight。Thenhewenttothewindow，andinthefaceofallJohnStreettracedhisuncle’ssignature。Itwasapoorthingatthebest。’Butitmustdo，’saidhe，ashestoodgazingwoefullyonhishandiwork。’He’sdead，anyway。’AndhefilledupthechequeforacoupleofhundredandsalliedforthfortheAnglo—PatagonianBank。
There，atthedeskatwhichhewasaccustomedtotransactbusiness，andwithasmuchindifferenceashecouldassume，Morrispresentedtheforgedchequetothebig，red—beardedScotsteller。Thetellerseemedtoviewitwithsurprise;andasheturneditthiswayandthat，andevenscrutinizedthesignaturewithamagnifying—glass，hissurpriseappearedtowarmintodisfavour。Beggingtobeexcusedforamoment，hepassedawayintotherearmostquartersofthebank;whence，afteranappreciableinterval，hereturnedagaininearnesttalkwithasuperior，anoldishandabaldish，butaverygentlemanlyman。
’MrMorrisFinsbury，Ibelieve，’saidthegentlemanlyman，fixingMorriswithapairofdoubleeye—glasses。
’Thatismyname，’saidMorris，quavering。’Isthereanythingwrong。
’Well，thefactis，MrFinsbury，youseewearerathersurprisedatreceivingthis，’saidtheother，flickingatthecheque。
’Therearenoeffects。’
’Noeffects？’criedMorris。’Why，Iknowmyselftheremustbeeight—and—twentyhundredpounds，ifthere’sapenny。’
’Twosevensixfour，Ithink，’repliedthegentlemanlyman;’butitwasdrawnyesterday。’
’Drawn！’criedMorris。
’Byyourunclehimself，sir，’continuedtheother。’Notonlythat，butwediscountedabillforhimfor——letmesee——howmuchwasitfor，MrBell？’
’Eighthundred，MrJudkin，’repliedtheteller。
’BentPitman！’criedMorris，staggeringback。
’Ibegyourpardon，’saidMrJudkin。
’It’s——it’sonlyanexpletive，’saidMorris。
’Ihopethere’snothingwrong，MrFinsbury，’saidMrBell。
’AllIcantellyou，’saidMorris，withaharshlaugh，’isthatthewholething’simpossible。MyuncleisatBournemouth，unabletomove。’
’Really！’criedMrBell，andherecoveredthechequefromMrJudkin。’ButthischequeisdatedinLondon，andtoday，’heobserved。’Howd’yeaccountforthat，sir？’
’O，thatwasamistake，’saidMorris，andadeeptideofcolourdyedhisfaceandneck。
’Nodoubt，nodoubt，’saidMrJudkin，buthelookedathiscustomerenquiringly。
’And——and——’resumedMorris，’eveniftherewerenoeffects——thisisaverytriflingsumtooverdraw——ourfirm——thenameofFinsbury，issurelygoodenoughforsuchawretchedsumasthis。’
’Nodoubt，MrFinsbury，’returnedMrJudkin;’andifyouinsistI
willtakeitintoconsideration;butIhardlythink——inshort，MrFinsbury，iftherehadbeennothingelse，thesignatureseemshardlyallthatwecouldwish。’
’That’sofnoconsequence，’repliedMorrisnervously。’I’llgetmyuncletosignanother。Thefactis，’hewenton，withaboldstroke，’myuncleissofarfromwellatpresentthathewasunabletosignthischequewithoutassistance，andIfearthatmyholdingthepenforhimmayhavemadethedifferenceinthesignature。’
MrJudkinshotakeenglanceintoMorris’sface;andthenturnedandlookedatMrBell。
’Well，’hesaid，’itseemsasifwehadbeenvictimizedbyaswindler。PraytellMrFinsburyweshallputdetectivesonatonce。Asforthischequeofyours，Iregretthat，owingtothewayitwassigned，thebankcanhardlyconsiderit——whatshallI
say？——businesslike，’andhereturnedthechequeacrossthecounter。
Morristookitupmechanically;hewasthinkingofsomethingverydifferent。
’Ina——caseofthiskind，’hebegan，’Ibelievethelossfallsonus;Imeanuponmyuncleandmyself。’
’Itdoesnot，sir，’repliedMrBell;’thebankisresponsible，andthebankwilleitherrecoverthemoneyorrefundit，youmaydependonthat。’
Morris’sfacefell;thenitwasvisitedbyanothergleamofhope。
’I’lltellyouwhat，’hesaid，’youleavethisentirelyinmyhands。I’llsiftthematter。I’veanidea，atanyrate;anddetectives，’headdedappealingly，’aresoexpensive。’
’Thebankwouldnothearofit，’returnedMrJudkin。’Thebankstandstolosebetweenthreeandfourthousandpounds;itwillspendasmuchmoreifnecessary。Anundiscoveredforgerisapermanentdanger。Weshallclearituptothebottom，MrFinsbury;setyourmindatrestonthat。’
’ThenI’llstandtheloss，’saidMorrisboldly。’Iorderyoutoabandonthesearch。’Hewasdeterminedthatnoenquiryshouldbemade。
’Ibegyourpardon，’returnedMrJudkin，’butwehavenothingtodowithyouinthismatter，whichisonebetweenyouruncleandourselves。Ifheshouldtakethisopinion，andwilleithercomeherehimselforletmeseehiminhissick—room——’
’Quiteimpossible，’criedMorris。
’Well，then，yousee，’saidMrJudkin，’howmyhandsaretied。
Thewholeaffairmustgoatonceintothehandsofthepolice。’
Morrismechanicallyfoldedthechequeandrestoredittohispocket——book。
’Good——morning，’saidhe，andscrambledsomehowoutofthebank。
’Idon’tknowwhattheysuspect，’hereflected;’Ican’tmakethemout，theirwholebehaviouristhoroughlyunbusinesslike。Butitdoesn’tmatter;all’supwitheverything。Themoneyhasbeenpaid;thepoliceareonthescent;intwohoursthatidiotPitmanwillbenabbed——andthewholestoryofthedeadbodyintheeveningpapers。’
Ifhecouldhaveheardwhatpassedinthebankafterhisdeparturehewouldhavebeenlessalarmed，perhapsmoremortified。
’Thatwasacuriousaffair，MrBell，’saidMrJudkin。
’Yes，sir，’saidMrBell，’butIthinkwehavegivenhimafright。’
’O，weshallhearnomoreofMrMorrisFinsbury，’returnedtheother;’itwasafirstattempt，andthehousehavedealtwithussolongthatIwasanxioustodealgently。ButIsuppose，MrBell，therecanbenomistakeaboutyesterday？ItwasoldMrFinsburyhimself？’
’Therecouldbenopossibledoubtofthat，’saidMrBellwithachuckle。’Heexplainedtometheprinciplesofbanking。’
’Well，well，’saidMrJudkin。’Thenexttimehecallsaskhimtostepintomyroom。Itisonlyproperheshouldbewarned。’
CHAPTERVII。InWhichWilliamDentPitmantakesLegalAdviceNorfolkStreet，King’sRoad——jocularlyknownamongMrPitman’slodgersas’NorfolkIsland’——isneitheralong，ahandsome，norapleasingthoroughfare。Dirty，undersizedmaids—of—all—workissuefromitinpursuitofbeer，orlingeronitssidewalklisteningtothevoiceoflove。Thecat’s—meatmanpassestwiceaday。Anoccasionalorgan—grinderwandersinandwandersoutagain，disgusted。Inholiday—timethestreetisthearenaoftheyoungbloodsoftheneighbourhood，andthehouseholdershaveanopportunityofstudyingthemanlyartofself—defence。AndyetNorfolkStreethasoneclaimtoberespectable，foritcontainsnotasingleshop——unlessyoucountthepublic—houseatthecorner，whichisreallyintheKing’sRoad。
ThedoorofNo。7boreabrassplateinscribedwiththelegend’W。D。Pitman，Artist’。Itwasnotaparticularlycleanbrassplate，norwasNo。7itselfaparticularlyinvitingplaceofresidence。Andyetithadacharacterofitsown，suchasmaywellquickenthepulseofthereader’scuriosity。Forherewasthehomeofanartist——andadistinguishedartisttoo，highlydistinguishedbyhisill—success——whichhadneverbeenmadethesubjectofanarticleintheillustratedmagazines。Nowood—engraverhadeverreproduced’acornerinthebackdrawing—room’or’thestudiomantelpiece’ofNo。7;noyoungladyauthorhadevercommentedon’theunaffectedsimplicity’withwhichMrPitmanreceivedherinthemidstofhis’treasures’。ItisanomissionIwouldgladlysupply，butourbusinessisonlywiththebackwardpartsand’abjectrear’ofthisaestheticdwelling。
Herewasagarden，boastingadwarffountain（thatneverplayed）
inthecentre，afewgrimy—lookingflowersinpots，twoorthreenewlyplantedtreeswhichthespringofChelseavisitedwithoutnoticeableconsequence，andtwoorthreestatuesaftertheantique，representingsatyrsandnymphsintheworstpossiblestyleofsculpturedart。Ononesidethegardenwasovershadowedbyapairofcrazystudios，usuallyhiredouttothemoreobscureandyouthfulpractitionersofBritishart。Oppositetheseanotherloftyout—building，somewhatmorecarefullyfinished，andboastingofacommunicationwiththehouseandaprivatedooronthebacklane，enshrinedthemultifariousindustryofMrPitman。
Allday，itistrue，hewasengagedintheworkofeducationataseminaryforyoungladies;buttheeveningsatleastwerehisown，andthesehewouldprolongfarintothenight，nowdashingoff’Alandscapewithwaterfall’inoil，nowavolunteerbust（’inmarble’，ashewouldgentlybutproudlyobserve）ofsomepubliccharacter，nowstoopinghischiseltoamere’nymph’foragasbracketonastair，sir’），oralife—size’InfantSamuel’forareligiousnursery。MrPitmanhadstudiedinParis，andhehadstudiedinRome，suppliedwithfundsbyafondparentwhowentsubsequentlybankruptinconsequenceofafallincorsets;andthoughhewasneverthoughttohavethesmallestmodicumoftalent，itwasatonetimesupposedthathehadlearnedhisbusiness。Eighteenyearsofwhatiscalled’tuition’hadrelievedhimofthedangerousknowledge。Hisartistlodgerswouldsometimesreasonwithhim;theywouldpointouttohimhowimpossibleitwastopaintbygaslight，ortosculpturelife—sizednymphswithoutamodel。
’Iknowthat，’hewouldreply。’NooneinNorfolkStreetknowsitbetter;andifIwererichIshouldcertainlyemploythebestmodelsinLondon;but，beingpoor，Ihavetaughtmyselftodowithoutthem。Anoccasionalmodelwouldonlydisturbmyidealconceptionofthefigure，andbeapositiveimpedimentinmycareer。Asforpaintingbyanartificiallight，’hewouldcontinue，’thatissimplyaknackIhavefounditnecessarytoacquire，mydaysbeingengrossedintheworkoftuition。’
Atthemomentwhenwemustpresenthimtoourreaders，Pitmanwasinhisstudioalone，bythedyinglightoftheOctoberday。Hesat（sureenoughwith’unaffectedsimplicity’）inaWindsorchair，hislow—crownedblackfelthatbyhisside;adark，weak，harmless，patheticlittleman，cladinthehueofmourning，hiscoatlongerthanisusualwiththelaity，hisneckenclosedinacollarwithoutaparting，hisneckclothpaleinhueandsimplytied;thewholeoutwardman，exceptforapointedbeard，tentativelyclerical。TherewasathinningonthetopofPitman’shead，thereweresilverhairsatPitman’stemple。Poorgentleman，hewasnolongeryoung;andyears，andpoverty，andhumbleambitionthwarted，makeacheerlesslot。
Infrontofhim，inthecornerbythedoor，therestoodaportlybarrel;andlethimturnthemwherehemight，itwasalwaystothebarrelthathiseyesandhisthoughtsreturned。
’ShouldIopenit？ShouldIreturnit？ShouldIcommunicatewithMrSernitopolisatonce？’hewondered。’No，’heconcludedfinally，’nothingwithoutMrFinsbury’sadvice。’Andhearoseandproducedashabbyleatherndesk。Itopenedwithouttheformalityofunlocking，anddisplayedthethickcream—colourednotepaperonwhichMrPitmanwasinthehabitofcommunicatingwiththeproprietorsofschoolsandtheparentsofhispupils。Heplacedthedeskonthetablebythewindow，andtakingasaucerofIndianinkfromthechimney—piece，laboriouslycomposedthefollowingletter：
’MydearMrFinsbury，’itran，’woulditbepresumingonyourkindnessifIaskedyoutopaymeavisitherethisevening？ItisinnotriflingmatterthatIinvokeyourvaluableassistance，forneedIsaymorethanitconcernsthewelfareofMrSemitopolis’sstatueofHercules？Iwriteyouingreatagitationofmind;forIhavemadeallenquiries，andgreatlyfearthatthisworkofancientarthasbeenmislaid。Ilabourbesidesunderanotherperplexity，notunconnectedwiththefirst。Prayexcusetheineleganceofthisscrawl，andbelievemeyoursinhaste，WilliamD。Pitman。’
ArmedwiththishesetforthandrangthebellofNo。233King’sRoad，theprivateresidenceofMichaelFinsbury。HehadmetthelawyeratatimeofgreatpublicexcitementinChelsea;Michael，whohadasenseofhumourandagreatdealofcarelesskindnessinhisnature，followedtheacquaintanceup，and，havingcometolaugh，remainedtodropintoacontemptuouskindoffriendship。
Bythistime，whichwasfouryearsafterthefirstmeeting，Pitmanwasthelawyer’sdog。
’No，’saidtheelderlyhousekeeper，whoopenedthedoorinperson，’MrMichael’snotinyet。Butye’relookingterriblypoorly，MrPitman。Takeaglassofsherry，sir，tocheeryeup。’
’No，Ithankyou，ma’am，’repliedtheartist。’Itisverygoodinyou，butIscarcelyfeelinsufficientspiritsforsherry。JustgiveMrFinsburythisnote，andaskhimtolookround——tothedoorinthelane，youwillpleasetellhim;Ishallbeinthestudioallevening。’
Andheturnedagainintothestreetandwalkedslowlyhomeward。A
hairdresser’swindowcaughthisattention，andhestaredlongandearnestlyattheproud，high——born，waxenladyineveningdress，whocirculatedinthecentreoftheshow。Theartistwokeinhim，inspiteofhistroubles。
’Itisallverywelltorundownthemenwhomakethesethings，’
hecried，’butthere’sasomething——there’sahaughty，indefinablesomethingaboutthatfigure。It’swhatItriedforinmy\"EmpressEugenie\"，’headded，withasigh。
Andhewenthomereflectingonthequality。’Theydon’tteachyouthatdirectappealinParis，’hethought。’It’sBritish。Come，I
amgoingtosleep，Imustwakeup，Imustaimhigher——aimhigher，’criedthelittleartisttohimself。Allthroughhisteaandafterward，ashewasgivinghiseldestboyalessononthefiddle，hisminddweltnolongeronhistroubles，buthewasraptintothebetterland;andnosoonerwasheatlibertythanhehastenedwithpositiveexhilarationtohisstudio。
Noteventhesightofthebarrelcouldentirelycasthimdown。Heflunghimselfwithrisingzestintohiswork——abustofMrGladstonefromaphotograph;turned（withextraordinarysuccess）
thedifficultyofthebackofthehead，forwhichhehadnodocumentsbeyondahazyrecollectionofapublicmeeting;
delightedhimselfbyhistreatmentofthecollar;andwasonlyrecalledtothecaresoflifebyMichaelFinsbury’srattleatthedoor。
’Well，what’swrong？’saidMichael，advancingtothegrate，where，knowinghisfriend’sdelightinabrightfire，MrPitmanhadnotsparedthefuel。’Isupposeyouhavecometogriefsomehow。’
’Thereisnoexpressionstrongenough，’saidtheartist。’MrSemitopolis’sstatuehasnotturnedup，andIamafraidIshallbeanswerableforthemoney;butIthinknothingofthat——whatI
fear，mydearMrFinsbury，whatIfear——alasthatIshouldhavetosayit！isexposure。TheHerculeswastobesmuggledoutofItaly;athingpositivelywrong，athingofwhichamanofmyprinciplesandinmyresponsiblepositionshouldhavetaken（asI
nowseetoolate）nopartwhatever。’
’Thissoundslikeveryseriouswork，’saidthelawyer。’Itwillrequireagreatdealofdrink，Pitman。’
’Itookthelibertyof——inshort，ofbeingpreparedforyou，’
repliedtheartist，pointingtoakettle，abottleofgin，alemon，andglasses。Michaelmixedhimselfagrog，andofferedtheartistacigar。
’No，thankyou，’saidPitman。’Iusedoccasionallytoberatherpartialtoit，butthesmellissodisagreeableabouttheclothes。’
’Allright，’saidthelawyer。’Iamcomfortablenow。Unfoldyourtale。’
AtsomelengthPitmansetforthhissorrows。HehadgonetodaytoWaterloo，expectingtoreceivethecolossalHercules，andhehadreceivedinsteadabarrelnotbigenoughtoholdDiscobolus;yetthebarrelwasaddressedinthehand（withwhichhewasperfectlyacquainted）ofhisRomancorrespondent。Whatwasstrangerstill，acasehadarrivedbythesametrain，largeenoughandheavyenoughtocontaintheHercules;andthiscasehadbeentakentoanaddressnowundiscoverable。’Thevanman（Iregrettosayit）
hadbeendrinking，andhislanguagewassuchasIcouldneverbringmyselftorepeat。
Hewasatoncedischargedbythesuperintendentoftheline，whobehavedmostproperlythroughout，andistomakeenquiriesatSouthampton。Inthemeanwhile，whatwasItodo？Ileftmyaddressandbroughtthebarrelhome;but，rememberinganoldadage，Ideterminednottoopenitexceptinthepresenceofmylawyer。’
’Isthatall？’askedMichael。’Idon’tseeanycausetoworry。
TheHerculeshasstuckupontheroad。Itwilldropintomorroworthedayafter;andasforthebarrel，dependuponit，it’satestimonialfromoneofyouryoungladies，andprobablycontainsoysters。’
’O，don’tspeaksoloud！’criedthelittleartist。’ItwouldcostmemyplaceifIwereheardtospeaklightlyoftheyoungladies;
andbesides，whyoystersfromItaly？andwhyshouldtheycometomeaddressedinSignorRicardi’shand？’
’Well，let’shavealookatit，’saidMichael。’Let’srollitforwardtothelight。’
Thetwomenrolledthebarrelfromthecorner，andstooditonendbeforethefire。
’It’sheavyenoughtobeoysters，’remarkedMichaeljudiciously。
’Shallweopenitatonce？’enquiredtheartist，whohadgrowndecidedlycheerfulunderthecombinedeffectsofcompanyandgin;
andwithoutwaitingforareply，hebegantostripasifforaprize—fight，tossedhisclericalcollarinthewastepaperbasket，hunghisclericalcoatuponanail，andwithachiselinonehandandahammerintheother，struckthefirstblowoftheevening。
’That’sthestyle，WilliamDent’criedMichael。’There’sfirefor——yourmoney！Itmaybearomanticvisitfromoneoftheyoungladies——asortofCleopatrabusiness。Haveacareanddon’tstaveinCleopatra’shead。’
ButthesightofPitman’salacritywasinfectious。Thelawyercouldsitstillnolonger。Tossinghiscigarintothefire，hesnatchedtheinstrumentfromtheunwillinghandsoftheartist，andfelltohimself。Soonthesweatstoodinbeadsuponhislarge，fairbrow;hisstylishtrousersweredefacedwithironrust，andthestateofhischiseltestifiedtomisdirectedenergies。
Acaskisnotaneasythingtoopen，evenwhenyousetaboutitintherightway;whenyousetaboutitwrongly，thewholestructuremustberesolvedintoitselements。Suchwasthecoursepursuedalikebytheartistandthelawyer。Presentlythelasthoophadbeenremoved——acoupleofsmartblowstumbledthestavesupontheground——andwhathadoncebeenabarrelwasnomorethanaconfusedheapofbrokenanddistortedboards。
Inthemidstofthese，acertaindismalsomething，swathedinblankets，remainedforaninstantupright，andthentoppledtoonesideandheavilycollapsedbeforethefire。Evenasthethingsubsided，aneye—glasstingledtothefloorandrolledtowardthescreamingPitman。
’Holdyourtongue！’saidMichael。Hedashedtothehousedoorandlockedit;then，withapalefaceandbittenlip，hedrewnear，pulledasideacorneroftheswathingblanket，andrecoiled，shuddering。Therewasalongsilenceinthestudio。
’Nowtellme，’saidMichael，inalowvoice：’Hadyouanyhandinit？’andhepointedtothebody。
Thelittleartistcouldonlyutterbrokenanddisjointedsounds。
Michaelpouredsomeginintoaglass。’Drinkthat，’hesaid。
’Don’tbeafraidofme。I’myourfriendthroughthickandthin。’
Pitmanputtheliquordownuntasted。
’IswearbeforeGod，’hesaid，’thisisanothermysterytome。InmyworstfearsIneverdreamedofsuchathing。Iwouldnotlayafingeronasuckinginfant。’
’That’sallsquare，’saidMichael，withasighofhugerelief。’I
believeyou，oldboy。’Andheshooktheartistwarmlybythehand。’Ithoughtforamoment，’headdedwithratheraghastlysmile，’IthoughtforamomentyoumighthavemadeawaywithMrSemitopolis。’
’ItwouldmakenodifferenceifIhad，’groanedPitman。’Allisatanendforme。There’sthewritingonthewall。’
’Tobeginwith，’saidMichael，’let’sgethimoutofsight;fortobequiteplainwithyou，Pitman，Idon’tlikeyourfriend’sappearance。’Andwiththatthelawyershuddered。’Wherecanweputit？’
’Youmightputitintheclosetthere——ifyoucouldbeartotouchit，’answeredtheartist。
’Somebodyhastodoit，Pitman，’returnedthelawyer;’anditseemsasifithadtobeme。Yougoovertothetable，turnyourback，andmixmeagrog;that’safairdivisionoflabour。’
Aboutninetysecondslaterthecloset—doorwasheardtoshut。
’There，’observedMichael，’that’smorehomelike。Youcanturnnow，mypallidPitman。Isthisthegrog？’heranon。’Heavenforgiveyou，it’salemonade。’
’But，O，Finsbury，whatarewetodowithit？’walledtheartist，layingaclutchinghanduponthelawyer’sarm。
’Dowithit？’repeatedMichael。’Buryitinoneofyourflowerbeds，anderectoneofyourownstatuesforamonument。I
tellyouweshouldlookdevilishromanticshovellingoutthesodbythemoon’spaleray。Here，putsomegininthis。’
’Ibegofyou，MrFinsbury，donottriflewithmymisery，’criedPitman。’Youseebeforeyouamanwhohasbeenallhislife——Idonothesitatetosayit——imminentlyrespectable。EveninthissolemnhourIcanlaymyhanduponmyheartwithoutablush。
ExceptonthereallytriflingpointofthesmugglingoftheHercules（andevenofthatInowhumblyrepent），mylifehasbeenentirelyfitforpublication。Ineverfearedthelight，’criedthelittleman;’andnow——now——！’
’Cheerup，oldboy，’saidMichael。’Iassureyouweshouldcountthislittlecontretempsatrifleattheoffice;it’sthesortofthingthatmayoccurtoanyone;andifyou’reperfectlysureyouhadnohandinit——’
’WhatlanguageamItofind——’beganPitman。
’O，I’lldothatpartofit，’interruptedMichael，’youhavenoexperience。’Butthepointisthis：If——orrathersince——youknownothingofthecrime，sincethe——thepartyinthecloset——isneitheryourfather，noryourbrother，noryourcreditor，noryourmother—in—law，norwhattheycallaninjuredhusband——’
’O，mydearsir！’interjectedPitman，horrified。
’Since，inshort，’continuedthelawyer，’youhadnopossibleinterestinthecrime，wehaveaperfectlyfreefieldbeforeusandasafegametoplay。Indeed，theproblemisreallyentertaining;itisoneIhavelongcontemplatedinthelightofanA。B。case;hereitisatlastundermyhandinspecie;andI
meantopullyouthrough。Doyouhearthat？——Imeantopullyouthrough。Letmesee：it’salongtimesinceIhavehadwhatI
callagenuineholiday;I’llsendanexcusetomorrowtotheoffice。Wehadbestbelively，’headdedsignificantly;’forwemustnotspoilthemarketfortheotherman。’
’Whatdoyoumean？’enquiredPitman。’Whatotherman？Theinspectorofpolice？’
’Damntheinspectorofpolice！’remarkedhiscompanion。’Ifyouwon’ttaketheshortcutandburythisinyourbackgarden，wemustfindsomeonewhowillburyitinhis。Wemustplacetheaffair，inshort，inthehandsofsomeonewithfewerscruplesandmoreresources。’
’Aprivatedetective，perhaps？’suggestedPitman。
’Therearetimeswhenyoufillmewithpity，’observedthelawyer。’Bytheway，Pitman，’headdedinanotherkey，’Ihavealwaysregrettedthatyouhavenopianointhisdenofyours。
Evenifyoudon’tplayyourself，yourfriendsmightliketoentertainthemselveswithalittlemusicwhileyouweremudding。’
’Ishallgetoneatonceifyoulike，’saidPitmannervously，anxioustoplease。’Iplaythefiddlealittleasitis。’
’Iknowyoudo，’saidMichael;’butwhat’sthefiddle——aboveallasyouplayit？Whatyouwantispolyphonicmusic。AndI’lltellyouwhatitis——sinceit’stoolateforyoutobuyapianoI’llgiveyoumine。’
’Thankyou，’saidtheartistblankly。’Youwillgivemeyours？I
amsureit’sverygoodinyou。’
’Yes，I’llgiveyoumine，’continuedMichael，’fortheinspectorofpolicetoplayonwhilehismenarediggingupyourbackgarden。’Pitmanstaredathiminpainedamazement。
’No，I’mnotinsane，’Michaelwenton。’I’mplayful，butquitecoherent。Seehere，Pitman：followmeonehalfminute。Imeantoprofitbytherefreshingfactthatwearereallyandtrulyinnocent;nothingbutthepresenceofthe——youknowwhat——connectsuswiththecrime;onceletusgetridofit，nomatterhow，andthereisnopossiblecluetotraceusby。Well，I
giveyoumypiano;we’llbringitroundthisverynight。Tomorrowweripthefittingsout，depositthe——ourfriend——inside，plumpthewholeonacart，andcarryittothechambersofayounggentlemanwhomIknowbysight。’
’Whomdoyouknowbysight？’repeatedPitman。
’Andwhatismoretothepurpose，’continuedMichael，’whosechambersIknowbetterthanhedoeshimself。Afriendofmine——I
callhimmyfriendforbrevity;heisnow，Iunderstand，inDemeraraand（mostlikely）ingaol——wasthepreviousoccupant。I
defendedhim，andIgothimofftoo——allsavedbuthonour;hisassetswerenil，buthegavemewhathehad，poorgentleman，andalongwiththerest——thekeyofhischambers。It’stherethatI
proposetoleavethepianoand，shallwesay，Cleopatra？’
’Itseemsverywild，’saidPitman。’Andwhatwillbecomeofthepooryounggentlemanwhomyouknowbysight？’
’Itwilldohimgood，’——saidMichaelcheerily。’Justwhathewantstosteadyhim。’
’But，mydearsit，hemightbeinvolvedinachargeof——achargeofmurder，’gulpedtheartist。