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  ’Ican’tstayhereamonth,’hecried。’Noonecould。Thething’snonsense,Morris。ThepartiesthatlivedintheBastillewouldriseagainstaplacelikethis。’

  Withanadmirableaffectationofindifference,Morrisproposedagameofpitch—and—toss。Towhatwillnotthediplomatistcondescend!ItwasJohn’sfavouritegame;indeedhisonlygame——hehadfoundalltheresttoointellectual——andheplayeditwithequalskillandgoodfortune。ToMorrishimself,ontheotherhand,thewholebusinesswasdetestable;hewasabadpitcher,hehadnoluckintossing,andhewasonewhosufferedtormentswhenhelost。ButJohnwasinadangeroushumour,andhisbrotherwaspreparedforanysacrifice。

  Byseveno’clock,Morris,withincredibleagony,hadlostacoupleofhalf—crowns。Evenwiththetontinebeforehiseyes,thiswasasmuchashecouldbear;and,remarkingthathewouldtakehisrevengesomeothertime,heproposedabitofsupperandagrog。

  Beforetheyhadmadeanendofthisrefreshmentitwastimetobeatwork。Abucketofwaterforpresentnecessitieswaswithdrawnfromthewater—butt,whichwasthenemptiedandrolledbeforethekitchenfiretodry;andthetwobrotherssetforthontheiradventureunderastarlessheaven。

  CHAPTERIII。TheLectureratLargeWhethermankindisreallypartialtohappinessisanopenquestion。Notamonthpassesbybutsomecherishedsonrunsoffintothemerchantservice,orsomevaluedhusbanddecampstoTexaswithaladyhelp;clergymenhavefledfromtheirparishioners;andevenjudgeshavebeenknowntoretire。Toanopenmind,itwillappear(uponthewhole)lessstrangethatJosephFinsburyshouldhavebeenledtoentertainideasofescape。Hislot(Ithinkwemaysay)wasnotahappyone。Myfriend,MrMorris,withwhomItraveluptwiceorthriceaweekfromSnaresbrookPark,iscertainlyagentlemanwhomIesteem;

  buthewasscarceamodelnephew。AsforJohn,heisofcourseanexcellentfellow;butifhewastheonlylinkthatboundonetoahome,Ithinkthemostofuswouldvoteforforeigntravel。InthecaseofJoseph,John(ifhewerealinkatall)wasnottheonlyone;endearingbondshadlongenchainedtheoldgentlemantoBloomsbury;andbytheseexpressionsIdonotintheleastrefertoJuliaHazeltine(ofwhom,however,hewasfondenough),buttothatcollectionofmanuscriptnotebooksinwhichhislifelayburied。Thatheshouldeverhavemadeuphismindtoseparatehimselffromthesecollections,andgoforthupontheworldwithnootherresourcesthanhismemorysupplied,isacircumstancehighlypatheticinitself,andbutlittlecreditabletothewisdomofhisnephews。

  Thedesign,oratleastthetemptation,wasalreadysomemonthsold;andwhenabillforeighthundredpounds,payabletohimself,wassuddenlyplacedinJoseph’shand,itbroughtmatterstoanissue。Heretainedthatbill,which,tooneofhisfrugality,meantwealth;andhepromisedhimselftodisappearamongthecrowdsatWaterloo,or(ifthatshouldproveimpossible)toslinkoutofthehouseinthecourseoftheeveningandmeltlikeadreamintothemillionsofLondon。ByapeculiarinterpositionofProvidenceandrailwaymismanagementhehadnotsolongtowait。

  HewasoneofthefirsttocometohimselfandscrambletohisfeetaftertheBrowndeancatastrophe,andhehadnosoonerremarkedhisprostratenephewsthanheunderstoodhisopportunityandfled。Amanofupwardsofseventy,whohasjustmetwitharailwayaccident,andwhoiscumberedbesideswiththefulluniformofSirFaradayBond,isnotverylikelytofleefar,butthewoodwascloseathandandofferedthefugitiveatleastatemporarycovert。Hither,then,theoldgentlemanskippedwithextraordinaryexpedition,and,beingsomewhatwindedandagooddealshaken,herehelaydowninaconvenientgroveandwaspresentlyoverwhelmedbyslumber。Thewayoffateisoftenhighlyentertainingtothelooker—on,anditiscertainlyapleasantcircumstance,thatwhileMorrisandJohnweredelvinginthesandtoconcealthebodyofatotalstranger,theirunclelayindreamlesssleepafewhundredyardsdeeperinthewood。

  Hewasawakenedbythejollynoteofabuglefromtheneighbouringhighroad,whereachar—a—bancwasbowlingbywithsomebelatedtourists。Thesoundcheeredhisoldheart,itdirectedhisstepsintothebargain,andsoonhewasonthehighway,lookingeastandwestfromunderhisvizor,anddoubtfullyrevolvingwhatheoughttodo。Adeliberatesoundofwheelsaroseinthedistance,andthenacartwasseenapproaching,wellfilledwithparcels,drivenbyagood—naturedlookingmanonadoublebench,anddisplayingonaboardthelegend,’IChandler,carrier’。IntheinfamouslyprosaicmindofMrFinsbury,certainstreaksofpoetrysurvivedandwerestillefficient;theyhadcarriedhimtoAsiaMinorasagiddyyouthofforty,andnow,inthefirsthoursofhisrecoveredfreedom,theysuggestedtohimtheideaofcontinuinghisflightinMrChandler’scart。Itwouldbecheap;properlybroached,itmightevencostnothing,and,afteryearsofmittensandhygienicflannel,hisheartleapedouttomeetthenotionofexposure。

  MrChandlerwasperhapsalittlepuzzledtofindsooldagentleman,sostrangelyclothed,andbeggingforaliftonsoretiredaroadside。Buthewasagood—naturedman,gladtodoaservice,andsohetookthestrangerup;andhehadhisownideaofcivility,andsoheaskednoquestions。Silence,infact,wasquitegoodenoughforMrChandler;butthecarthadscarcelybeguntomoveforwarderehefoundhimselfinvolvedinaone—sidedconversation。

  ’Icansee,’beganMrFinsbury,’bythemixtureofparcelsandboxesthatarecontainedinyourcart,eachmarkedwithitsindividuallabel,andbythegoodFlemishmareyoudrive,thatyouoccupythepostofcarrierinthatgreatEnglishsystemoftransportwhich,withallitsdefects,istheprideofourcountry。’

  ’Yes,sir,’returnedMrChandlervaguely,forhehardlyknewwhattoreply;’themparcelspostshasdoneuscarriersaworldofharm。’

  ’Iamnotaprejudicedman,’continuedJosephFinsbury。’AsayoungmanItravelledmuch。Nothingwastoosmallortooobscureformetoacquire。AtseaIstudiedseamanship,learnedthecomplicatedknotsemployedbymariners,andacquiredthetechnicalterms。AtNaples,Iwouldlearntheartofmakingmacaroni;atNice,theprinciplesofmakingcandiedfruit。I

  neverwenttotheoperawithoutfirstbuyingthebookofthepiece,andmakingmyselfacquaintedwiththeprincipalairsbypickingthemoutonthepianowithonefinger。’

  ’Youmusthaveseenadeal,sir,’remarkedthecarrier,touchinguphishorse;’IwishIcouldhavehadyouradvantages。’

  ’DoyouknowhowoftenthewordwhipoccursintheOldTestament?’continuedtheoldgentleman。’Onehundredand(ifI

  rememberexactly)forty—seventimes。’

  ’Doitindeed,sir?’saidMrChandler。’Inevershouldhavethoughtit。’

  ’TheBiblecontainsthreemillionfivehundredandonethousandtwohundredandforty—nineletters。OfversesIbelievethereareupwardofeighteenthousand。TherehavebeenmanyeditionsoftheBible;WycliffwasthefirsttointroduceitintoEnglandabouttheyear1300。The\"ParagraphBible\",asitiscalled,isawell—knownedition,andissocalledbecauseitisdividedintoparagraphs。The\"BreechesBible\"isanotherwell—knowninstance,andgetsitsnameeitherbecauseitwasprintedbyoneBreeches,orbecausetheplaceofpublicationborethatname。’

  Thecarrierremarkeddrilythathethoughtthatwasonlynatural,andturnedhisattentiontothemorecongenialtaskofpassingacartofhay;itwasamatterofsomedifficulty,fortheroadwasnarrow,andtherewasaditchoneitherhand。

  ’Iperceive,’beganMrFinsbury,whentheyhadsuccessfullypassedthecart,’thatyouholdyourreinswithonehand;youshouldemploytwo。’

  ’Well,Ilikethat!’criedthecarriercontemptuously。’Why?’

  ’Youdonotunderstand,’continuedMrFinsbury。’WhatItellyouisascientificfact,andreposesonthetheoryofthelever,abranchofmechanics。Therearesomeveryinterestinglittleshillingbooksuponthefieldofstudy,whichIshouldthinkamaninyourstationwouldtakeapleasuretoread。ButIamafraidyouhavenotcultivatedtheartofobservation;atleastwehavenowdriventogetherforsometime,andIcannotrememberthatyouhavecontributedasinglefact。Thisisaveryfalseprinciple,mygoodman。Forinstance,Idonotknowifyouobservedthat(asyoupassedthehay—cartman)youtookyourleft?’

  ’OfcourseIdid,’criedthecarrier,whowasnowgettingbelligerent;’he’dhavethelawonmeifIhadn’t。’

  ’InFrance,now,’resumedtheoldman,’andalso,Ibelieve,intheUnitedStatesofAmerica,youwouldhavetakentheright。’

  ’Iwouldnot,’criedMrChandlerindignantly。’Iwouldhavetakentheleft。’

  ’Iobserveagain,’continuedMrFinsbury,scorningtoreply,’thatyoumendthedilapidatedpartsofyourharnesswithstring。

  IhavealwaysprotestedagainstthiscarelessnessandslovenlinessoftheEnglishpoor。InanessaythatIoncereadbeforeanappreciativeaudience——’

  ’Itain’tstring,’saidthecarriersullenly,’it’spack—thread。’

  ’Ihavealwaysprotested,’resumedtheoldman,’thatintheirprivateanddomesticlife,aswellasintheirlabouringcareer,thelowerclassesofthiscountryareimprovident,thriftless,andextravagant。Astitchintime——’

  ’WhothedevilAREthelowerclasses?’criedthecarrier。’Youarethelowerclassesyourself!IfIthoughtyouwereabloomingaristocrat,Ishouldn’thavegivenyoualift。’

  Thewordswereutteredwithundisguisedill—feeling;itwasplainthepairwerenotcongenial,andfurtherconversation,eventooneofMrFinsbury’spatheticloquacity,wasoutofthequestion。

  Withanangrygesture,hepulleddownthebrimoftheforage—capoverhiseyes,and,producinganotebookandabluepencilfromoneofhisinnermostpockets,soonbecameabsorbedincalculations。

  Onhispartthecarrierfelltowhistlingwithfreshzest;andif(nowandagain)heglancedatthecompanionofhisdrive,itwaswithmingledfeelingsoftriumphandalarm——triumphbecausehehadsucceededinarrestingthatprodigyofspeech,andalarmlest(byanyaccident)itshouldbeginagain。Eventheshower,whichpresentlyovertookandpassedthem,wasenduredbybothinsilence;anditwasstillinsilencethattheydroveatlengthintoSouthampton。

  Duskhadfallen;theshopwindowsglimmeredforthintothestreetsoftheoldseaport;inprivatehouseslightswerekindledfortheeveningmeal;andMrFinsburybegantothinkcomplacentlyofhisnight’slodging。Heputhispapersby,clearedhisthroat,andlookeddoubtfullyatMrChandler。

  ’Willyoubecivilenough,’saidhe,’torecommendmetoaninn?’

  MrChandlerponderedforamoment。

  ’Well,’hesaidatlast,’Iwonderhowaboutthe\"TregonwellArms\"。’

  ’The\"TregonwellArms\"willdoverywell,’returnedtheoldman,’ifit’scleanandcheap,andthepeoplecivil。’

  ’Iwasn’tthinkingsomuchofyou,’returnedMrChandlerthoughtfully。’IwasthinkingofmyfriendWattsaskeepsthe’ouse;he’safriendofmine,yousee,andhehelpedmethroughmytroublelastyear。AndIwasthinking,woulditbefair—likeonWattstosaddlehimwithanoldpartylikeyou,whomightbethedeathofhimwithgeneralinformation。Woulditbefairtothe’ouse?’enquiredMrChandler,withanairofcandidappeal。

  ’Markme,’criedtheoldgentlemanwithspirit。’Itwaskindinyoutobringmeherefornothing,butitgivesyounorighttoaddressmeinsuchterms。Here’sashillingforyourtrouble;

  and,ifyoudonotchoosetosetmedownatthe\"TregonwellArms\",Icanfinditformyself。’

  Chandlerwassurprisedandalittlestartled;mutteringsomethingapologetic,hereturnedtheshilling,droveinsilencethroughseveralintricatelanesandsmallstreets,drewupatlengthbeforethebrightwindowsofaninn,andcalledloudlyforMrWatts。

  ’Isthatyou,Jem?’criedaheartyvoicefromthestableyard。

  ’Comeinandwarmyourself。’

  ’Ionlystoppedhere,’MrChandlerexplained,’toletdownanoldgentthatwantsfoodandlodging。Mind,Iwarnyouaginhim;he’sworsenoratemperancelecturer。’

  MrFinsburydismountedwithdifficulty,forhewascrampedwithhislongdrive,andtheshakinghehadreceivedintheaccident。

  ThefriendlyMrWatts,inspiteofthecarter’sscarcelyagreeableintroduction,treatedtheoldgentlemanwiththeutmostcourtesy,andledhimintothebackparlour,wheretherewasabigfireburninginthegrate。Presentlyatablewasspreadinthesameroom,andhewasinvitedtoseathimselfbeforeastewedfowl——somewhattheworseforhavingseenservicebefore——andabigpewtermugofalefromthetap。

  Herosefromsupperagiantrefreshed;and,changinghisseattoonenearerthefire,begantoexaminetheotherguestswithaneyetothedelightsoforatory。Therewerenearadozenpresent,allmen,and(asJosephexultedtoperceive)allworkingmen。

  Oftenalreadyhadheseencausetoblessthatappetitefordisconnectedfactandrotatoryargumentwhichissomarkedacharacterofthemechanic。Butevenanaudienceofworkingmenhastobecourted,andtherewasnomanmoredeeplyversedinthenecessaryartsthanJosephFinsbury。Heplacedhisglassesonhisnose,drewfromhispocketabundleofpapers,andspreadthembeforehimonatable。Hecrumpledthem,hesmoothedthemout;

  nowheskimmedthemover,apparentlywellpleasedwiththeircontents;now,withtappingpencilandcontractedbrows,heseemedmaturelytoconsidersomeparticularstatement。Astealthyglanceabouttheroomassuredhimofthesuccessofhismanoeuvres;alleyeswereturnedontheperformer,mouthswereopen,pipeshungsuspended;thebirdswerecharmed。AtthesamemomenttheentranceofMrWattsaffordedhimanopportunity。

  ’Iobserve,’saidhe,addressingthelandlord,buttakingatthesametimethewholeroomintohisconfidencewithanencouraginglook,’Iobservethatsomeofthesegentlemenarelookingwithcuriosityinmydirection;andcertainlyitisunusualtoseeanyoneimmersedinliteraryandscientificlaboursinthepublicapartmentofaninn。IhaveheresomecalculationsImadethismorninguponthecostoflivinginthisandothercountries——asubject,Ineedscarcelysay,highlyinterestingtotheworkingclasses。Ihavecalculatedascaleoflivingforincomesofeighty,onehundredandsixty,twohundred,andtwohundredandfortypoundsayear。Imustconfessthattheincomeofeightypoundshassomewhatbaffledme,andtheothersarenotsoexactasIcouldwish;forthepriceofwashingvarieslargelyinforeigncountries,andthedifferentcokes,coalsandfirewoodsfluctuatesurprisingly。Iwillreadmyresearches,andIhopeyouwon’tscrupletopointouttomeanylittleerrorsthatImayhavecommittedeitherfromoversightorignorance。Iwillbegin,gentlemen,withtheincomeofeightypoundsayear。’

  Whereupontheoldgentleman,withlesscompassionthanhewouldhavehadforbrutebeasts,deliveredhimselfofallhistediouscalculations。Asheoccasionallygavenineversionsofasingleincome,placingtheimaginarypersoninLondon,Paris,Bagdad,Spitzbergen,Bassorah,Heligoland,theScillyIslands,Brighton,Cincinnati,andNijni—Novgorod,withanappropriateoutfitforeachlocality,itisnowonderthathishearerslookbackonthateveningasthemosttiresometheyeverspent。

  LongbeforeMrFinsburyhadreachedNijni—Novgorodwiththeincomeofonehundredandsixtypounds,thecompanyhaddwindledandfadedawaytoafewoldtopersandtheboredbutaffableWatts。Therewasaconstantstreamofcustomersfromtheouterworld,butsosoonastheywereservedtheydranktheirliquorquicklyanddepartedwiththeutmostcelerityforthenextpublic—house。

  BythetimetheyoungmanwithtwohundredayearwasvegetatingintheScillyIslands,MrWattswasleftalonewiththeeconomist;andthatimaginarypersonhadscarcecommencedlifeatBrightonbeforethelastofhispursuersdesistedfromthechase。

  MrFinsburysleptsoundlyafterthemanifoldfatiguesoftheday。

  Heroselate,and,afteragoodbreakfast,orderedthebill。Thenitwasthathemadeadiscoverywhichhasbeenmadebymanyothers,bothbeforeandsince:thatitisonethingtoorderyourbill,andanothertodischargeit。Theitemsweremoderateand(whatdoesnotalwaysfollow)thetotalsmall;but,afterthemostsedulousreviewofallhispockets,oneandninepencehalfpennyappearedtobethetotaloftheoldgentleman’savailableassets。HeaskedtoseeMrWatts。

  ’HereisabillonLondonforeighthundredpounds,’saidMrFinsbury,asthatworthyappeared。’Iamafraid,unlessyouchoosetodiscountityourself,itmaydetainmeadayortwotillIcangetitcashed。’

  MrWattslookedatthebill,turneditover,anddogs—eareditwithhisfingers。’Itwillkeepyouadayortwo?’hesaid,repeatingtheoldman’swords。’Youhavenoothermoneywithyou?’

  ’Sometriflingchange,’respondedJoseph。’Nothingtospeakof。’

  ’Thenyoucansenditme;Ishouldbepleasedtotrustyou。’

  ’Totellthetruth,’answeredtheoldgentleman,’Iammorethanhalfinclinedtostay;Iaminneedoffunds。’

  ’Ifaloanoftenshillingswouldhelpyou,itisatyourservice,’respondedWatts,witheagerness。

  ’No,IthinkIwouldratherstay,’saidtheoldman,’andgetmybilldiscounted。’

  ’Youshallnotstayinmyhouse,’criedMrWatts。’Thisisthelasttimeyoushallhaveabedatthe\"TregonwellArms\"。’

  ’Iinsistuponremaining,’repliedMrFinsbury,withspirit;’I

  remainbyActofParliament;turnmeoutifyoudare。’

  ’Thenpayyourbill,’saidMrWatts。

  ’Takethat,’criedtheoldman,tossinghimthenegotiablebill。

  ’Itisnotlegaltender,’repliedMrWatts。’Youmustleavemyhouseatonce。’

  ’YoucannotappreciatethecontemptIfeelforyou,MrWatts,’

  saidtheoldgentleman,resigninghimselftocircumstances。’Butyoushallfeelitinoneway:Irefusetopaymybill。’

  ’Idon’tcareforyourbill,’respondedMrWatts。’WhatIwantisyourabsence。’

  ’Thatyoushallhave!’saidtheoldgentleman,and,takinguphisforagecapashespoke,hecrammeditonhishead。’Perhapsyouaretooinsolent,’headded,’toinformmeofthetimeofthenextLondontrain?’

  ’Itleavesinthree—quartersofanhour,’returnedtheinnkeeperwithalacrity。’Youcaneasilycatchit。’

  Joseph’spositionwasoneofconsiderableweakness。Ontheonehand,itwouldhavebeenwelltoavoidthedirectlineofrailway,sinceitwastherehemightexpecthisnephewstolieinwaitforhisrecapture;ontheother,itwashighlydesirable,itwasevenstrictlyneedful,togetthebilldiscountedereitshouldbestopped。ToLondon,therefore,hedecidedtoproceedonthefirsttrain;andthereremainedbutonepointtobeconsidered,howtopayhisfare。

  Joseph’snailswereneverclean;heatealmostentirelywithhisknife。Idoubtifyoucouldsayhehadthemannersofagentleman;buthehadbetterthanthat,atouchofgenuinedignity。WasitfromhisstayinAsiaMinor?WasitfromastrainintheFinsburybloodsometimesalludedtobycustomers?Atleast,whenhepresentedhimselfbeforethestation—master,hissalaamwastrulyOriental,palm—treesappearedtocrowdaboutthelittleoffice,andthesimoomorthebulbul——butIleavethisimagetopersonsbetteracquaintedwiththeEast。Hisappearance,besides,washighlyinhisfavour;theuniformofSirFaraday,howeverinconvenientandconspicuous,was,atleast,acostumeinwhichnoswindlercouldhavehopedtoprosper;andtheexhibitionofavaluablewatchandabillforeighthundredpoundscompletedwhatdeportmenthadbegun。Aquarterofanhourlater,whenthetraincameup,MrFinsburywasintroducedtotheguardandinstalledinafirst—classcompartment,thestation—mastersmilinglyassumingallresponsibility。

  Astheoldgentlemansatwaitingthemomentofdeparture,hewasthewitnessofanincidentstrangelyconnectedwiththefortunesofhishouse。Apacking—caseofcyclopeanbulkwasbornealongtheplatformbysomedozenoftotteringporters,andultimately,tothedelightofaconsiderablecrowd,hoistedonboardthevan。

  Itisoftenthecheeringtaskofthehistoriantodirectattentiontothedesignsand(ifitmaybereverentlysaid)theartificesofProvidence。Intheluggagevan,asJosephwasborneoutofthestationofSouthamptonEastuponhiswaytoLondon,theeggofhisromancelay(sotospeak)unhatched。Thehugepacking—casewasdirectedtolieatWaterlootillcalledfor,andaddressedtoone’WilliamDentPitman’;andtheverynextarticle,agoodlybarreljammedintothecornerofthevan,borethesuperscription,’M。Finsbury,16JohnStreet,Bloomsbury。

  Carriagepaid。’

  Inthisjuxtaposition,thetrainofpowderwasprepared;andtherewasnowwantingonlyanidlehandtofireitoff。

  CHAPTERIV。TheMagistrateintheLuggageVanThecityofWinchesterisfamedforacathedral,abishop——buthewasunfortunatelykilledsomeyearsagowhileriding——apublicschool,aconsiderableassortmentofthemilitary,andthedeliberatepassageofthetrainsoftheLondonandSouth—Westernline。TheseandmanysimilarassociationswouldhavedoubtlesscrowdedonthemindofJosephFinsbury;buthisspirithadatthattimeflittedfromtherailwaycompartmenttoaheavenofpopulouslecture—hallsandendlessoratory。Hisbody,inthemeanwhile,laydoubledonthecushions,theforage—caprakishlytiltedbackafterthefashionofthosethatlieinwaitfornursery—maids,thepooroldfacequiescent,onearmclutchingtohisheartLloyd’sWeeklyNewspaper。

  Tohim,thusunconscious,enterandexeuntagainapairofvoyagers。Thesetwohadsavedthetrainandnomore。Atandemurgedtoitslastspeed,anactofsomethingcloselyborderingonbrigandageattheticketoffice,andaspasmofrunning,hadbroughtthemontheplatformjustastheengineuttereditsdepartingsnort。Therewasbutonecarriageeasilywithintheirreach;andtheyhadsprungintoit,andtheleaderandelderalreadyhadhisfeetuponthefloor,whenheobservedMrFinsbury。

  ’GoodGod!’hecried。’UncleJoseph!This’llneverdo。’

  Andhebackedout,almostupsettinghiscompanion,andoncemoreclosedthedooruponthesleepingpatriarch。

  Thenextmomentthepairhadjumpedintothebaggagevan。

  ’What’stherowaboutyourUncleJoseph?’enquiredtheyoungertraveller,moppinghisbrow。’Doesheobjecttosmoking?’

  ’Idon’tknowthatthere’sanythingtherowwithhim,’returnedtheother。’He’sbynomeansthefirstcomer,myUncleJoseph,I

  cantellyou!Veryrespectableoldgentleman;interestedinleather;beentoAsiaMinor;nofamily,noassets——andatongue,mydearWickham,sharperthanaserpent’stooth。’

  ’Cantankerousoldparty,eh?’suggestedWickham。

  ’Notintheleast,’criedtheother;’onlyamanwithasolidtalentforbeingabore;rathercheeryIdaresay,onadesertisland,butonarailwayjourneyinsupportable。YoushouldhearhimonTonti,theassthatstartedtontines。He’sincredibleonTonti。’

  ’ByJove!’criedWickham,’thenyou’reoneoftheseFinsburytontinefellows。Ihadn’taguessofthat。’

  ’Ah!’saidtheother,’doyouknowthatoldboyinthecarriageisworthahundredthousandpoundstome?Therehewasasleep,andnobodytherebutyou!ButIsparedhim,becauseI’maConservativeinpolitics。’

  MrWickham,pleasedtobeinaluggagevan,wasflittingtoandfrolikeagentlemanlybutterfly。

  ’ByJingo!’hecried,’here’ssomethingforyou!\"M。Finsbury,16

  JohnStreet,Bloomsbury,London。\"M。standsforMichael,youslydog;youkeeptwoestablishments,doyou?’

  ’O,that’sMorris,’respondedMichaelfromtheotherendofthevan,wherehehadfoundacomfortableseatuponsomesacks。’He’salittlecousinofmine。Ilikehimmyself,becausehe’safraidofme。He’soneoftheornamentsofBloomsbury,andhasacollectionofsomekind——birds’eggsorsomethingthat’ssupposedtobecurious。Ibetit’snothingtomyclients!’

  ’Whatalarkitwouldbetoplaybillywiththelabels!’chuckledMrWickham。’ByGeorge,here’satack—hammer!Wemightsendallthesethingsskippingaboutthepremiseslikewhat’s—his—name!’

  Atthismoment,theguard,surprisedbythesoundofvoices,openedthedoorofhislittlecabin。

  ’Youhadbeststepinhere,gentlemen,’saidhe,whenhehadheardtheirstory。

  ’Won’tyoucome,Wickham?’askedMichael。

  ’Catchme——Iwanttotravelinavan,’repliedtheyouth。

  Andsothedoorofcommunicationwasclosed;andfortherestoftherunMrWickhamwasleftaloneoverhisdiversionsontheoneside,andontheotherMichaelandtheguardwereclosetedtogetherinfamiliartalk。

  ’Icangetyouacompartmenthere,sir,’observedtheofficial,asthetrainbegantoslackenspeedbeforeBishopstokestation。

  ’Youhadbestgetoutatmydoor,andIcanbringyourfriend。’

  MrWickham,whomweleft(asthereaderhasshrewdlysuspected)

  beginningto’playbilly’withthelabelsinthevan,wasayounggentlemanofmuchwealth,apleasingbutsandyexterior,andahighlyvacantmind。Notmanymonthsbefore,hehadcontrivedtogethimselfblackmailedbythefamilyofaWallachianHospodar,residentforpoliticalreasonsinthegaycityofParis。Acommonfriend(towhomhehadconfidedhisdistress)recommendedhimtoMichael;andthelawyerwasnosoonerinpossessionofthefactsthanheinstantlyassumedtheoffensive,fellontheflankoftheWallachianforces,and,intheinsideofthreedays,hadthesatisfactiontobeholdthemroutedandfleeingfortheDanube。Itisnobusinessofourstofollowthemonthisretreat,overwhichthepoliceweresoobligingastopresidepaternally。ThusrelievedfromwhathelovedtorefertoastheBulgarianAtrocity,MrWickhamreturnedtoLondonwiththemostunboundedandembarrassinggratitudeandadmirationforhissaviour。Thesesentimentswerenotrepaideitherinkindordegree;indeed,Michaelwasatrifleashamedofhisnewclient’sfriendship;ithadtakenmanyinvitationstogethimtoWinchesterandWickhamManor;buthehadgoneatlast,andwasnowreturning。Ithasbeenremarkedbysomejudiciousthinker(possiblyJ。F。Smith)

  thatProvidencedespisestoemploynoinstrument,howeverhumble;

  anditisnowplaintothedullestthatbothMrWickhamandtheWallachianHospodarwereliquidleadandwedgesinthehandofDestiny。

  SmittenwiththedesiretoshineinMichael’seyesandshowhimselfapersonoforiginalhumourandresources,theyounggentleman(whowasamagistrate,morebytoken,inhisnativecounty)wasnosooneraloneinthevanthanhefelluponthelabelswithallthezealofareformer;and,whenherejoinedthelawyeratBishopstoke,hisfacewasflushedwithhisexertions,andhiscigar,whichhehadsufferedtogooutwasalmostbittenintwo。

  ’ByGeorge,butthishasbeenalark!’hecried。’I’vesentthewrongthingtoeverybodyinEngland。Thesecousinsofyourshaveapacking—caseasbigasahouse。I’vemuddledthewholebusinessuptothatextent,Finsbury,thatifitweretogetoutit’smybeliefweshouldgetlynched。’

  ItwasuselesstobeseriouswithMrWickham。’Takecare,’saidMichael。’Iamgettingtiredofyourperpetualscrapes;myreputationisbeginningtosuffer。’

  ’Yourreputationwillbeallgonebeforeyoufinishwithme,’

  repliedhiscompanionwithagrin。’Clapitinthebill,myboy。

  \"Fortotallossofreputation,sixandeightpence。\"But,’

  continuedMrWickhamwithmoreseriousness,’couldIbebowledoutoftheCommissionforthislittlejest?Iknowit’ssmall,butIliketobeaJP。Speakingasaprofessionalman,doyouthinkthere’sanyrisk?’

  ’Whatdoesitmatter?’respondedMichael,’they’llchuckyououtsoonerorlater。Somehowyoudon’tgivetheeffectofbeingagoodmagistrate。’

  ’IonlywishIwasasolicitor,’retortedhiscompanion,’insteadofapoordevilofacountrygentleman。Supposewestartoneofthosetontineaffairsourselves;Itopayfivehundredayear,andyoutoguaranteemeagainsteverymisfortuneexceptillnessormarriage。’

  ’Itstrikesme,’remarkedthelawyerwithameditativelaugh,ashelightedacigar,’itstrikesmethatyoumustbeacursednuisanceinthisworldofours。’

  ’Doyoureallythinkso,Finsbury?’respondedthemagistrate,leaningbackinhiscushions,delightedwiththecompliment。

  ’Yes,IsupposeIamanuisance。But,mindyou,Ihaveastakeinthecountry:don’tforgetthat,dearboy。’

  CHAPTERV

  MrGideonForsythandtheGiganticBoxIthasbeenmentionedthatatBournemouthJuliasometimesmadeacquaintances;itistrueshehadbutaglimpseofthembeforethedoorsofJohnStreetclosedagainuponitscaptives,buttheglimpsewassometimesexhilarating,andtheconsequentregretwastemperedwithhope。AmongthosewhomshehadthusmetayearbeforewasayoungbarristerofthenameofGideonForsyth。

  Aboutthreeo’clockoftheeventfuldaywhenthemagistratetamperedwiththelabels,asomewhatmoodyanddistemperedramblehadcarriedMrForsythtothecornerofJohnStreet;andaboutthesamemomentMissHazeltinewascalledtothedoorofNo。16

  byathunderingdoubleknock。

  MrGideonForsythwasahappyenoughyoungman;hewouldhavebeenhappierifhehadhadmoremoneyandlessuncle。Onehundredandtwentypoundsayearwasallhisstore;buthisuncle,MrEdwardHughBloomfield,supplementedthiswithahandsomeallowanceandagreatdealofadvice,couchedinlanguagethatwouldprobablyhavebeenjudgedintemperateonboardapirateship。MrBloomfieldwasindeedafigurequitepeculiartothedaysofMrGladstone;whatwemaycall(forthelackofanacceptedexpression)aSquirradical。Havingacquiredyearswithoutexperience,hecarriedintotheRadicalsideofpoliticsthosenoisy,after—dinner—tablepassions,whichwearemoreaccustomedtoconnectwithToryisminitssevereandsenileaspects。TotheopinionsofMrBradlaugh,infact,headdedthetemperandthesympathiesofthatextinctanimal,theSquire;headmiredpugilism,hecarriedaformidableoakenstaff,hewasareverentchurchman,anditwashardtoknowwhichwouldhavemorevolcanicallystirredhischoler——apersonwhoshouldhavedefendedtheestablishedchurch,oronewhoshouldhaveneglectedtoattenditscelebrations。Hehadbesidessomelevellingcatchwords,justlydreadedinthefamilycircle;andwhenhecouldnotgosofarastodeclareastepun—English,hemightstill(andwithhardlylesseffect)denounceitasunpractical。

  ItwasunderthebanofthislesserexcommunicationthatGideonhadfallen。Hisviewsonthestudyoflawhadbeenpronouncedunpractical;andithadbeenintimatedtohim,inavociferousinterviewpunctuatedwiththeoakenstaff,thathemusteithertakeanewstartandgetabriefortwo,orpreparetoliveonhisownmoney。

  NowonderifGideonwasmoody。Hehadnottheslightestwishtomodifyhispresenthabits;buthewouldnotstandonthat,sincetherecallofMrBloomfield’sallowancewouldrevolutionizethemstillmoreradically。Hehadnottheleastdesiretoacquainthimselfwithlaw;hehadlookedintoitalready,anditseemednottorepayattention;butuponthisalsohewasreadytogiveway。Infact,hewouldgoasfarashecouldtomeettheviewsofhisuncle,theSquirradical。Buttherewasonepartoftheprogrammethatappearedindependentofhiswill。Howtogetabrief?therewasthequestion。Andtherewasanotherandaworse。

  Supposehegotone,shouldheprovethebetterman?

  Suddenlyhefoundhiswaybarredbyacrowd。Agarishlyilluminatedvanwasbackedagainstthekerb;fromitsopenstern,halfrestingonthestreet,halfsupportedbysomeglisteningathletes,theendofthelargestpacking—caseinthecountyofMiddlesexmighthavebeenseenprotruding;while,onthestepsofthehouse,theburlypersonofthedriverandtheslimfigureofayounggirlstoodasuponastage,disputing。

  ’Itisnotforus,’thegirlwassaying。’Ibegyoutotakeitaway;itcouldn’tgetintothehouse,evenifyoumanagedtogetitoutofthevan。’

  ’Ishallleaveitonthepavement,then,andM。FinsburycanarrangewiththeVestryashelikes,’saidthevanman。

  ’ButIamnotM。Finsbury,’expostulatedthegirl。

  ’Itdoesn’tmatterwhoyouare,’saidthevanman。

  ’Youmustallowmetohelpyou,MissHazeltine,’saidGideon,puttingouthishand。

  Juliagavealittlecryofpleasure。’O,MrForsyth,’shecried,’Iamsogladtoseeyou;wemustgetthishorridthing,whichcanonlyhavecomeherebymistake,intothehouse。Themansayswe’llhavetotakeoffthedoor,orknocktwoofourwindowsintoone,orbefinedbytheVestryorCustomHouseorsomethingforleavingourparcelsonthepavement。’

  Themenbythistimehadsuccessfullyremovedtheboxfromthevan,hadplumpeditdownonthepavement,andnowstoodleaningagainstit,orgazingatthedoorofNo。16,invisiblephysicaldistressandmentalembarrassment。Thewindowsofthewholestreethadfilled,asifbymagic,withinterestedandentertainedspectators。

  Withasthoughtfulandscientificanexpressionashecouldassume,Gideonmeasuredthedoorwaywithhiscane,whileJuliaenteredhisobservationsinadrawing—book。Hethenmeasuredthebox,and,uponcomparinghisdata,foundthattherewasjustenoughspaceforittoenter。Next,throwingoffhiscoatandwaistcoat,heassistedthementotakethedoorfromitshinges。

  Andlastly,allbystandersbeingpressedintotheservice,thepacking—casemountedthestepsuponsomefifteenpairsofwaveringlegs——scraped,loudlygrinding,throughthedoorway——andwasdepositedatlength,withaformidableconvulsion,inthefarendofthelobby,whichitalmostblocked。Theartisansofthisvictorysmileduponeachotherasthedustsubsided。ItwastruetheyhadsmashedabustofApolloandploughedthewallintodeepruts;but,atleast,theywerenolongeroneofthepublicspectaclesofLondon。

  ’Well,sir,’saidthevanman,’Ineverseesuchajob。’

  Gideoneloquentlyexpressedhisconcurrenceinthissentimentbypressingacoupleofsovereignsintheman’shand。

  ’Makeitthree,sir,andI’llstandSamtoeverybodyhere!’criedthelatter,and,thishavingbeendone,thewholebodyofvolunteerportersswarmedintothevan,whichdroveoffinthedirectionofthenearestreliablepublic—house。Gideonclosedthedoorontheirdeparture,andturnedtoJulia;theireyesmet;themostuncontrollablemirthseizeduponthemboth,andtheymadethehouseringwiththeirlaughter。ThencuriosityawokeinJulia’smind,andshewentandexaminedthebox,andmoreespeciallythelabel。

  ’Thisisthestrangestthingthateverhappened,’shesaid,withanotherburstoflaughter。’ItiscertainlyMorris’shandwriting,andIhadaletterfromhimonlythismorning,tellingmetoexpectabarrel。Isthereabarrelcomingtoo,doyouthink,MrForsyth?’

  \"’StatuarywithCare,Fragile,’\"readGideonaloudfromthepaintedwarningonthebox。’Thenyouweretoldnothingaboutthis?’

  ’No,’respondedJulia。’O,MrForsyth,don’tyouthinkwemighttakeapeepatit?’

  ’Yes,indeed,’criedGideon。’Justletmehaveahammer。’

  ’Comedown,andI’llshowyouwhereitis,’criedJulia。’Theshelfistoohighformetoreach’;and,openingthedoorofthekitchenstair,shebadeGideonfollowher。Theyfoundboththehammerandachisel;butGideonwassurprisedtoseenosignofaservant。HealsodiscoveredthatMissHazeltinehadaveryprettylittlefootandankle;andthediscoveryembarrassedhimsomuchthathewasgladtofallatonceuponthepacking—case。

  Heworkedhardandearnestly,anddealthisblowswiththeprecisionofablacksmith;Juliathewhilestandingsilentlybyhisside,andregardingrathertheworkmanthanthework。Hewasahandsomefellow;shetoldherselfshehadneverseensuchbeautifularms。Andsuddenly,asthoughhehadoverheardthesethoughts,Gideonturnedandsmiledtoher。She,too,smiledandcoloured;andthedoublechangebecamehersoprettilythatGideonforgottoturnawayhiseyes,and,swingingthehammerwithawill,dischargedasmashingblowonhisownknuckles。Withadmirablepresenceofmindhecrusheddownanoathandsubstitutedtheharmlesscomment,’Butterfingers!’Butthepainwassharp,hisnervewasshaken,andafteranabortivetrialhefoundhemustdesistfromfurtheroperations。

  InamomentJuliawasofftothepantry;inamomentshewasbackagainwithabasinofwaterandasponge,andhadbeguntobathehiswoundedhand。

  ’Iamdreadfullysorry!’saidGideonapologetically。’IfIhadhadanymannersIshouldhaveopenedtheboxfirstandsmashedmyhandafterward。Itfeelsmuchbetter,’headded。’Iassureyouitdoes。’

  ’AndnowIthinkyouarewellenoughtodirectoperations,’saidshe。’Tellmewhattodo,andI’llbeyourworkman。’

  ’Averyprettyworkman,’saidGideon,ratherforgettinghimself。

  Sheturnedandlookedathim,withasuspicionofafrown;andtheindiscreetyoungmanwasgladtodirectherattentiontothepacking—case。Thebulkoftheworkhadbeenaccomplished;andpresentlyJuliahadburstthroughthelastbarrieranddisclosedazoneofstraw。inamomenttheywerekneelingsidebyside,engagedlikehaymakers;thenexttheywererewardedwithaglimpseofsomethingwhiteandpolished;andthenextagainlaidbareanunmistakablemarbleleg。

  ’Heissurelyaveryathleticperson,’saidJulia。

  ’Ineversawanythinglikeit,’respondedGideon。’Hismusclesstandoutlikepennyrolls。’

  Anotherlegwassoondisclosed,andthenwhatseemedtobeathird。Thisresolveditself,however,intoaknottedclubrestinguponapedestal。

  ’ItisaHercules,’criedGideon;’Imighthaveguessedthatfromhiscalf。I’msupposedtoberatherpartialtostatuary,butwhenitcomestoHercules,thepoliceshouldinterfere。Ishouldsay,’

  headded,glancingwithdisaffectionattheswollenleg,’thatthiswasaboutthebiggestandtheworstinEurope。Whatinheaven’snamecanhaveinducedhimtocomehere?’

  ’Isupposenobodyelsewouldhaveagiftofhim,’saidJulia。

  ’Andforthatmatter,Ithinkwecouldhavedonewithoutthemonsterverywell。’

  ’O,don’tsaythat,’returnedGideon。’Thishasbeenoneofthemostamusingexperiencesofmylife。’

  ’Idon’tthinkyou’llforgetitverysoon,’saidJulia。’Yourhandwillremindyou。’

  ’Well,IsupposeImustbegoing,’saidGideonreluctantly。’No,’

  pleadedJulia。’Whyshouldyou?Stayandhaveteawithme。’

  ’IfIthoughtyoureallywishedmetostay,’saidGideon,lookingathishat,’ofcourseIshouldonlybetoodelighted。’

  ’Whatasillypersonyoumusttakemefor!’returnedthegirl。

  ’Why,ofcourseIdo;and,besides,Iwantsomecakesfortea,andI’venobodytosend。Hereisthelatchkey。’

  Gideonputonhishatwithalacrity,andcastingonelookatMissHazeltine,andanotheratthelegsofHercules,threwopenthedooranddepartedonhiserrand。

  Hereturnedwithalargebagofthechoicestandmosttemptingofcakesandtartlets,andfoundJuliaintheactofspreadingasmalltea—tableinthelobby。

  \"Theroomsareallinsuchastate,’shecried,’thatIthoughtweshouldbemorecosyandcomfortableinourownlobby,andunderourownvineandstatuary。’

  ’Eversomuchbetter,’criedGideondelightedly。

  ’Owhatadorablecreamtarts!’saidJulia,openingthebag,’andthedearestlittlecherrytartlets,withallthecherriesspilledoutintothecream!’

  ’Yes,’saidGideon,concealinghisdismay,’Iknewtheywouldmixbeautifully;thewomanbehindthecountertoldmeso。’

  ’Now,’saidJulia,astheybegantheirlittlefestival,’IamgoingtoshowyouMorris’sletter;readitaloud,please;perhapsthere’ssomethingIhavemissed。’

  Gideontooktheletter,andspreadingitoutonhisknee,readasfollows:

  DEARJULIA,IwriteyoufromBrowndean,wherewearestoppingoverforafewdays。Unclewasmuchshakeninthatdreadfulaccident,ofwhich,Idaresay,youhaveseentheaccount。

  TomorrowIleavehimherewithJohn,andcomeupalone;butbeforethat,youwillhavereceivedabarrelCONTAININGSPECIMENS

  FORAFRIEND。Donotopenitonanyaccount,butleaveitinthelobbytillIcome。

  Yoursinhaste,M。FINSBURY。

  P。S。——Besureandleavethebarrelinthelobby。

  ’No,’saidGideon,’thereseemstobenothingaboutthemonument,’andhenodded,ashespoke,atthemarblelegs。’MissHazeltine,’hecontinued,’wouldyoumindmeaskingafewquestions?’

  ’Certainlynot,’repliedJulia;’andifyoucanmakemeunderstandwhyMorrishassentastatueofHerculesinsteadofabarrelcontainingspecimensforafriend,Ishallbegratefultillmydyingday。Andwhatarespecimensforafriend?’

  ’Ihaven’taguess,’saidGideon。’Specimensareusuallybitsofstone,butrathersmallerthanourfriendthemonument。Still,thatisnotthepoint。Areyouquitealoneinthisbighouse?’

  ’Yes,Iamatpresent,’returnedJulia。’Icameupbeforethemtopreparethehouse,andgetanotherservant。ButIcouldn’tgetoneIliked。’

  ’Thenyouareutterlyalone,’saidGideoninamazement。’Areyounotafraid?’

  ’No,’respondedJuliastoutly。’Idon’tseewhyIshouldbemoreafraidthanyouwouldbe;Iamweaker,ofcourse,butwhenI

  foundImustsleepaloneinthehouseIboughtarevolverwonderfullycheap,andmadethemanshowmehowtouseit。’

  ’Andhowdoyouuseit?’demandedGideon,muchamusedathercourage。

  ’Why,’saidshe,withasmile,’youpullthelittletriggerthingontop,andthenpointingitverylow,foritspringsupasyoufire,youpulltheunderneathlittletriggerthing,anditgoesoffaswellasifamanhaddoneit。’

  ’Andhowoftenhaveyouusedit?’askedGideon。

  ’O,Ihavenotusedityet,’saidthedeterminedyounglady;’butIknowhow,andthatmakesmewonderfullycourageous,especiallywhenIbarricademydoorwithachestofdrawers。’

  ’I’mawfullygladtheyarecomingbacksoon,’saidGideon。’Thisbusinessstrikesmeasexcessivelyunsafe;ifitgoesonmuchlonger,Icouldprovideyouwithamaidenauntofmine,ormylandladyifyoupreferred。’

  ’Lendmeanaunt!’criedJulia。’O,whatgenerosity!IbegintothinkitmusthavebeenyouthatsenttheHercules。’

  ’Believeme,’criedtheyoungman,’Iadmireyoutoomuchtosendyousuchaninfamousworkofart……’

  Juliawasbeginningtoreply,whentheywerebothstartledbyaknockingatthedoor。

  ’O,MrForsyth!’

  ’Don’tbeafraid,mydeargirl,’saidGideon,layinghishandtenderlyonherarm。

  ’Iknowit’sthepolice,’shewhispered。’Theyarecomingtocomplainaboutthestatue。’

  Theknockwasrepeated。Itwaslouderthanbefore,andmoreimpatient。

  ’It’sMorris,’criedJulia,inastartledvoice,andsherantothedoorandopenedit。

  ItwasindeedMorristhatstoodbeforethem;nottheMorrisofordinarydays,butawild—lookingfellow,paleandhaggard,withbloodshoteyes,andatwo—days’bearduponhischin。

  ’Thebarrel!’hecried。’Where’sthebarrelthatcamethismorning?’Andhestaredaboutthelobby,hiseyes,astheyfelluponthelegsofHercules,literallygogglinginhishead。’Whatisthat?’hescreamed。’Whatisthatwaxwork?Speak,youfool!

  Whatisthat?Andwhere’sthebarrel——thewater—butt?’

  ’Nobarrelcame,Morris,’respondedJuliacoldly。’Thisistheonlythingthathasarrived。’

  ’This!’shriekedthemiserableman。’Ineverheardofit!’

  ’Itcameaddressedinyourhand,’repliedJulia;’wehadnearlytopullthehousedowntogetitin,thatisallthatIcantellyou。’

  Morrisgazedatherinutterbewilderment。Hepassedhishandoverhisforehead;heleanedagainstthewalllikeamanabouttofaint。Thenhistonguewasloosed,andheoverwhelmedthegirlwithtorrentsofabuse。Suchfire,suchdirectness,suchachoiceofungentlemanlylanguage,nonehadeverbeforesuspectedMorristopossess;andthegirltrembledandshrankbeforehisfury。

  ’YoushallnotspeaktoMissHazeltineinthatway,’saidGideonsternly。’ItiswhatIwillnotsuffer。’

  ’IshallspeaktothegirlasIlike,’returnedMorris,withafreshoutburstofanger。’I’llspeaktothehussyasshedeserves。’

  ’Notawordmore,sir,notoneword,’criedGideon。’MissHazeltine,’hecontinued,addressingtheyounggirl,’youcannotstayamomentlongerinthesamehousewiththisunmanlyfellow。

  Hereismyarm;letmetakeyouwhereyouwillbesecurefrominsult。’

  ’MrForsyth,’returnedJulia,’youareright;Icannotstayherelonger,andIamsureItrustmyselftoanhonourablegentleman。’

  Paleandresolute,Gideonofferedherhisarm,andthepairdescendedthesteps,followedbyMorrisclamouringforthelatchkey。

  JuliahadscarcelyhandedthekeytoMorrisbeforeanemptyhansomdrovesmartlyintoJohnStreet。Itwashailedbybothmen,andasthecabmandrewuphisrestivehorse,Morrismadeadashintothevehicle。

  ’Sixpenceabovefare,’hecriedrecklessly。’WaterlooStationforyourlife。Sixpenceforyourself!’

  ’Makeitashilling,guv’ner,’saidtheman,withagrin;’theotherpartieswerefirst。’

  ’Ashillingthen,’criedMorris,withtheinwardreflectionthathewouldreconsideritatWaterloo。Themanwhippeduphishorse,andthehansomvanishedfromJohnStreet。

  CHAPTERVI。TheTribulationsofMorris:ParttheFirstAsthehansomspanthroughthestreetsofLondon,Morrissoughttorallytheforcesofhismind。Thewater—buttwiththedeadbodyhadmiscarried,anditwasessentialtorecoverit。Somuchwasclear;andif,bysomeblestgoodfortune,itwasstillatthestation,allmightbewell。Ifithadbeensentout,however,ifitwerealreadyinthehandsofsomewrongperson,matterslookedmoreominous。Peoplewhoreceiveunexplainedpackagesareusuallykeentohavethemopen;theexampleofMissHazeltine(whomhecursedagain)wastheretoremindhimofthecircumstance;andifanyonehadopenedthewater—butt——’OLord!’

  criedMorrisatthethought,andcarriedhishandtohisdampforehead。Theprivateconceptionofanybreachoflawisapttobeinspiriting,forthescheme(whileyetinchoate)wearsdashingandattractivecolours。Notsointheleastthatpartofthecriminal’slaterreflectionswhichdealwiththepolice。Thatusefulcorps(asMorrisnowbegantothink)hadscarcebeenkeptsufficientlyinviewwhenheembarkeduponhisenterprise。’I

  mustplaydevilishclose,’hereflected,andhewasawareofanexquisitethrilloffearintheregionofthespine。

  ’Mainlineorloop?’enquiredthecabman,throughthescuttle。

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