\"Enfin，mylord，\"saysMr。Deuceace，startingup，andlosingallpatience，\"willyouhavethegoodnesstotellmewhatthisvisitmeans？Youleavemetostarve，forallyoucare;andyougrowmightyfacetiousbecauseIearnmybread。Youfindmeinprosperity，and——\"
\"Precisely，myboy;precisely。Keepyourtemper，andpassthatbottle。Ifindyouinprosperity;andayounggentlemanofyourgeniusandacquirementsasksmewhyIseekyoursociety？Oh，Algernon！Algernon！thisisnotworthyofsuchaprofoundphilosopher。WHYdoIseekyou？Why，becauseyouAREinprosperity，Omyson！else，whythedevilshouldIbothermyselfaboutyou？DidI，yourpoormother，oryourfamily，evergetfromyouasingleaffectionatefeeling？Didwe，oranyotherofyourfriendsorintimates，everknowyoutobeguiltyofasinglehonestorgenerousaction？Didweeverpretendanyloveforyou，oryouforus？AlgernonDeuceace，youdon’twantafathertotellyouthatyouareaswindlerandaspendthrift！Ihavepaidthousandsforthedebtsofyourselfandyourbrothers;and，ifyoupaynobodyelse，Iamdeterminedyoushallrepayme。Youwouldnotdoitbyfairmeans，whenIwrotetoyouandaskedyouforaloanofmoney。
Iknewyouwouldnot。HadIwrittenagaintowarnyouofmycoming，youwouldhavegivenmetheslip;andsoIcame，uninvited，toFORCEyoutorepayme。THAT’SwhyIamhere，Mr。Algernon;andsohelpyourselfandpassthebottle。\"
Afterthisspeach，theoldgenlmnsunkdownonthesofa，andpuffedasmuchsmokeoutofhismouthasifhe’dbeenthechimleyofasteam—injian。Iwaspleased，Iconfess，withthesean，andlikedtoseethisvenrabbleandvirtuousoldmana—nockinghissonaboutthehed;justasDeuceacehaddonewithMr。RichardBlewitt，asI’vebeforeshown。Master’sfacewas，fust，red—hot;next，chawk—
white：andthensky—blew。Helooked，foralltheworld，likeMr。
TippyCookeinthetragadyofFrankinstang。Atlast，hemannidgedtospeek。
\"Mylord，\"sayshe，\"IexpectedwhenIsawyouthatsomesuchschemewasonfoot。SwindlerandspendthriftasIam，atleastitisbutafamilyfailing;andIamindebtedformyvirtuestomyfather’spreciousexample。Yourlordshiphas，Iperceive，addeddrunkennesstothelistofyouraccomplishments，and，Isuppose，undertheinfluenceofthatgentlemanlyexcitement，hascometomakethesepreposterouspropositionstome。Whenyouaresober，youwill，perhaps，bewiseenoughtoknow，that，foolasImaybe，Iamnotsuchafoolasyouthinkme;andthatifIhavegotmoney，Iintendtokeepit——everyfarthingofit，thoughyouweretobetentimesasdrunk，andtentimesasthreateningasyouarenow。\"
\"Well，well，myboy，\"saidLordCrabs，whoseemedtohavebeenhalfasleepduringhisson’soratium，andreceivedallhissneersandsurcasmswiththemostcompletegood—humor;\"well，well，ifyouwillresist，tantpispourtoi。I’venodesiretoruinyou，recollect，andamnotintheslightestdegreeangrybutImustandwillhaveathousandpounds。Youhadbettergivemethemoneyatonce;itwillcostyoumoreifyoudon’t。\"
\"Sir，\"saysMr。Deuceace，\"Iwillbeequallycandid。Iwouldnotgiveyouafarthingtosaveyoufrom——\"
HereIthoughtpropertoopenthedoar，and，touchingmyhat，said，\"IhavebeentotheCafedeParis，mylord，butthehouseisshut。\"
\"Bon：there’sagoodlad;youmaykeepthefivefrancs。Andnow，getmeacandleandshowmedownstairs。\"
Butmymasterseizedthewaxtaper。\"Pardonme，mylord，\"sayshe。
\"What！aservantdoit，whenyoursonisintheroom？Ah，parexemple，mydearfather，\"saidhe，laughing，\"youthinkthereisnopolitenessleftamongus。\"Andheledthewayout。
\"Goodnight，mydearboy，\"saidLordCrabs，\"Godblessyou，sir，\"sayshe。\"Areyouwrappedwarm？Mindthestep！\"
Andsothisaffeckshnatepairparted。
CHAPTERIII。
MINEWVRING。
Masterrosethenexmorningwithadismalcountinants——heseamedtothinkthathispa’svisitbodedhimnogood。Iheardhimmutteringathisbrexfast，andfumblingamonghishundredpoundnotes;oncehehadlaidaparsleofthemaside（Iknewwhathemeant），tosend’emtohisfather。\"Butno，\"saysheatlast，clutchingthemalluptogetheragain，andthrowingthemintohisescritaw，\"whatharmcanhedome？Ifheisaknave，Iknowanotherwho’sfullassharp。Let’sseeifwecannotbeathimathisownweapons。\"WiththatMr。Deuceacedresthimselfinhisbestclothes，andmarchedofftothePlasVandom，topayhiscorttothefairwiddoandtheintrestingorfn。
Itwasabowtteno’clock，andhepropoasedtotheladies，onseeingthem，anumberofplannsfortheday’srackryation。RidingintheBodyBalong，goingtotheTwillariestoseeKingLooyDisweet（whowasthentherainingsufferinoftheFrenchcrownd）gotochapple，and，finely，adinnerat5o’clockattheCaffydeParry;whentstheywerealltoadjourn，toseeanewpeaceatthetheatreofthePotSt。Martin，calledSussannarandtheElders。
Thegalsagreadtoeverythink，exsepthetwolastprepositiums。
\"Wehaveanengagement，mydearMr。Algernon，\"saidmylady。
\"Look——averykindletterfromLadyBobtail。\"Andshehandedoverapafewmdnoatfromthatexoltedlady。Itranthus：——
\"FBG。ST。HONORE，Thursday，Feb。15，1817。
\"MYDEARLADYGRIFFIN，——Itisanagesincewemet。HarassingpublicdutiesoccupysomuchmyselfandLordBobtail，thatwehavescarcetimetoseeourprivatefriends;amongwhom，Ihope，mydearLadyGriffinwillallowmetorankher。Willyouexcusesounceremoniousaninvitation，anddinewithusattheembassyto—
day？Weshallbeenpetitecomite，andshallhavethepleasureofhearing，Ihope，someofyourcharmingdaughter’ssingingintheevening。Iought，perhaps，tohaveaddressedaseparate，notetodearMissGriffin;butIhopeshewillpardonapoordiplomate，whohassomanyletterstowrite，youknow。
\"Farewelltillseven，whenIPOSITIVELYMUSTseeyouboth。Ever，dearestLadyGriffin，youraffectionate\"ELIZABOBTAIL。\"
Suchaletterfromtheambassdriss，brotbytheambasdor’sShassure，andsealedwithhissealofarms，wouldaffectanybodyinthemiddlingranxoflife。ItdroavLadyGriffinmadwithdelight;
and，longbeforemymaster’sarrivle，she’dsentMortimerandFitzclarence，hertwofootmin，alongwithapolitereplyintheaffummatiff。
Masterreadthenoatwithnosuchfealinxofjoy。Hefeltthattherewassomethinka—goingonbehindtheseans，and，thoughhecouldnottellhow，wassurethatsomedangerwasnearhim。ThatoldfoxofafatherofhishadbegunhisM’Inationsprettyearly！
Deuceacehandedbacktheletter;sneared，andpoohd，andhintedthatsuchaninvitationwasaninsultatbest（whathecalledapeesally）;and，theladiesmightdependuponit，wasonlysentbecauseLadyBobtailwantedtofilluptwospareplacesathertable。ButLadyGriffinandMisswouldnothavehisinsinwations;
theyknewtoofulordsevertorefuseaninvitatiumfromanyoneofthem。Gotheywould;andpoorDeuceacemustdinealone。Aftertheyhadbeenontheirride，andhadhadtheirotheramusemince，mastercamebackwiththem，chatted，andlaft;hewasmightysarkastixwithmylady;tenderandsentrymentlewithMiss;andleftthembothinhighsperritstoperformtheirtwollet，beforedinner。
AsIcametothedoor（forIwasasfamillyerasaservntofthehouse），asIcameintothedrawing—roomtoannountshiscab，Isawmasterveryquietlytakinghispocket—book（orpotfool，astheFrenchcallit）andthrustingitunderoneofthecushinxofthesofa。Whatgameisthis？thinxI。
Why，thiswasthegame。Inabowttwohours，whenheknewtheladiesweregon，hepretendstobevastlyanxiousabowtthelossofhispotfolio;andbackhegoestoLadyGriffinsestoseekforitthere。
\"Pray，\"sayshe，ongoingin，\"askMissKickseyifImayseeherforasinglemoment。\"AnddowncomesMissKicksey，quitesmiling，andhappytoseehim。
\"Law，Mr。Deuceace！\"saysshe，tryingtoblushashardasevershecould，\"youquitesurpriseme！Idon’tknowwhetherIought，really，beingalone，toadmitagentleman。\"
\"Nay，don’tsayso，dearMissKicksey！fordoyouknow，Icamehereforadoublepurpose——toaskaboutapocket—bookwhichIhavelost，andmay，perhaps，havelefthere;andthen，toaskyouifyouwillhavethegreatgoodnesstopityasolitarybachelor，andgivehimacupofyournicetea？\"
NICETEA！IthotIshouldhavesplit;forI’mblestifmasterhadeatenamorsleofdinner！
Nevermind：downtoteatheysat。\"Doyoutakecreamandsugar，dearsir？\"sayspoarKicksey，withavoiceastenderasatuttle—
duff。
\"Both，dearestMissKicksey！\"answersmaster;whostowedinapowerofsashongandmuffinxwhichwouldhavedonehonortoawashawoman。
Ishan’tdescribetheconversationthattookplacebetwigstmasterandthisyounglady。Thereader，praps，knowsyDeuceacetookthetroubletotalktoherforanhour，andtoswallowallhertea。Hewantedtofindoutfromherallsheknewaboutthefamlymoneymatters，andsettleatoncewhichofthetwoGriffinsesheshouldmarry。
Thepoarthing，ofcors，wasnomatchforsuchamanasmymaster。
Inaquarterofanhour，hehad，ifImayusetheigspression，\"turnedherinsideout。\"Hekneweverythingthatsheknew;andthat，poarcreature，wasverylittle。Therewasninethousandayear，shehadheardsay，inmoney，inhouses，inbanksinInjar，andwhatnot。Boaththeladiessignedpapersforsellingorbuying，andthemoneyseemedequillydividedbetwigstthem。
NINETHOUSANDAYEAR！Deuceacewentaway，hischeextingling，hisheartbeating。He，withoutapenny，couldnexmorning，ifheliked，bemasteroffivethousandperhannum！
Yes。Buthow？Whichhadthemoney，themotherorthedaughter？
Allthetea—drinkinghadnottaughthimthispieceofnollidge;andDeuceacethoughtitapitythathecouldnotmarryboth……
Theladiescamebackatnight，mightalypleasedwiththeirreceptionattheambasdor’s;and，steppingoutoftheircarridge，bidcoachmindriveonwithagentleminwhohadhandedthemout——astoutoldgentlemin，whoshookhandsmosttenderlyatparting，andpromisedtocalloftenuponmyLadyGriffin。Hewassopolite，thathewantedtomountthestairswithherladyship;butno，shewouldnotsufferit。\"Edward，\"saysshetothecoachmin，quiteloud，andpleasedthatallthepeopleinthehotelshouldhearher，\"youwilltakethecarriage，anddriveHISLORDSHIPhome。\"Now，canyouguesswhohislordshipwas？TheRightHon。theEarlofCrabs，tobesure;theveryoldgenlmnwhomIhadseenonsuchcharmingtermswithhissonthedaybefore。Masterknewthisthenexday，andbegantothinkhehadbeenafooltodenyhispathethousandpound。
Now，thoughthesuckmstansiesofthedinnerattheambasdor’sonlycametomyyearssometimeafter，Imayaswellrelate’emhere，wordforword，astheywastoldmebytheverygenlmnwhowaitedbehindLordCrabseseschair。
Therewasonlya\"pettycomity\"atdinner，asLadyBobtailsaid;
andmyLordCrabswasplacedbetwigstthetwoGriffinses，beingmightyellygantandpalitetoboth。\"Allowme，\"sayshetoLadyG。
（betweenthesoopandthefish），\"mydearmadam，tothankyou——
ferventlythankyouforyourgoodnesstomypoorboy。Yourladyshipistooyoungtoexperience，but，Iamsure，fartootendernottounderstandthegratitudewhichmustfillafondparent’sheartforkindnessshowntohischild。Believeme，\"saysmylord，lookingherfullandtenderlyintheface，\"thatthefavorsyouhavedonetoanotherhavebeendoneequallytomyself，andawakeninmybosomthesamegratefulandaffectionatefeelingswithwhichyouhavealreadyinspiredmysonAlgernon。\"
LadyGriffinblusht，anddrooptherheadtillherringletsfellintoherfish—plate：andsheswallowedLordCrabs’sflumryjustasshewouldsomanymusharuins。Mylord（whosepowersofslack—jawwasnotoarious）nexaddrastanotherspitchtoMissGriffin。Hesaidhe’dheardhowDeuceacewasSITUATED。Missblusht——whatahappydoghewas——Missblushtcrimson，andthenhesigheddeeply，andbeganeatinghisturbatandlobstersos。Masterwasagoodunatflumry，but，lawblessyou！hewasnomoarequilltotheoldmanthanamole—hillistoamounting。Beforethenightwasover，hehadmadeasmuchprogressasanothermanwouldinaear。Onealmostforgothisrednoseandhisbigstomick，andhiswickedleeringi’s，inhisgentleinsiniwatingwoice，hisfundofannygoats，and，aboveall，thebewtific，morl，religious，andhonrabbletoanofhisgenralconservation。Prapsyouwillsaythattheseladieswere，forsuchrichpipple，mightalyesalycaptivated;
butrecklect，mydearsir，thattheywerefreshfromInjar，——thatthey’dnotseanmanylords，——thattheyadoaredthepeeridge，aseveryhonestwomandoesinEnglandwhohasproperfeelinx，andhasreadthefashnabblenovvles，——andthathereatPariswastheirfuststepintofashnabblesosiaty。
Well，afterdinner，whileMissMatildawassinging\"Dietantie，\"or\"Dipyourchair，\"orsomeofthemsellabratedItalyianhairs（whenshebeganthissquall，hangmeifshe’deverstop），mylordgetsholdofLadyGriffinagain，andgradgalybeginstotalktoherinaverydifferentstrane。
\"Whatablessingitisforusall，\"sayshe，\"thatAlgernonhasfoundafriendsorespectableasyourladyship。\"
\"Indeed，mylord;andwhy？IsupposeIamnottheonlyrespectablefriendthatMr。Deuceacehas？\"
\"No，surely;nottheonlyoneheHASHAD：hisbirth，and，permitmetosay，hisrelationshiptomyself，haveprocuredhimmany。But——\"
（heremylordheavedaveryaffectingandlargesigh）。
\"Butwhat？\"saysmylady，laffingattheigspressionofhisdismalface。\"Youdon’tmeanthatMr。Deuceacehaslostthemorisunworthyofthem？\"
\"Itrustnot，mydearmadam，Itrustnot;butheiswild，thoughtless，extravagant，andembarrassed：andyouknowamanunderthesecircumstancesisnotveryparticularastohisassociates。\"
\"Embarrassed？Goodheavens！Hesayshehastwothousandayearlefthimbyagod—mother;andhedoesnotseemeventospendhisincome——averyhandsomeindependence，too，forabachelor。\"
Mylordnoddedhisheadsadly，andsaid，——\"Willyourladyshipgivemeyourwordofhonortobesecret？Mysonhasbutathousandayear，whichIallowhim，andisheavilyindebt。Hehasplayed，madam，Ifear;andforthisreasonIamsogladtohearthatheisinarespectabledomesticcircle，wherehemaylearn，inthepresenceoffargreaterandpurerattractions，toforgetthedice—
box，andthelowcompanywhichhasbeenhisbane。\"
MyLadyGriffinlookedverygraveindeed。Wasittrue？WasDeuceacesincereinhisprofessionsoflove，orwasheonlyasharperwooingherforhermoney？Couldshedoubtherinformer？
hisownfather，and，what’smore，arealfleshandbloodpearofparlyment？Shedeterminedshewouldtryhim。PrapsshedidnotknowshehadlikedDeuceacesomuch，untilshekemtofeelhowmuchsheshouldHATEhimifshefoundhe’dbeenplayingherfalse。
Theeveningwasover，andbacktheycame，aswee’veseen，——mylorddrivinghomeinmylady’scarridge，herladyshipandMisswalkingupstairstotheirownapartmince。
Here，forawonder，waspoarMissKickseyquitehappyandsmiling，andevidentlyfullofasecret，——somethingmightypleasant，tojudgefromherloox。Shedidnotlongkeepit。Asshewasmakingteafortheladies（forinthathousetheytookacupregularbeforebedtime），\"Well，mylady，\"saysshe，\"whodoyouthinkhasbeentodrinkteawithme？\"Poarthing，afrendlyfacewasaeventinherlife——atea—partyquiteahera！
\"Why，perhaps，Lenoirmymaid，\"saysmylady，lookinggrave。\"I
wish，MissKicksey，youwouldnotdemeanyourselfbymixingwithmydomestics。Recollect，madam，thatyouaresistertoLadyGriffin。\"
\"No，mylady，itwasnotLenoir;itwasagentleman，andahandsomegentleman，too。\"
\"Oh，itwasMonsieurdel’Orge，then，\"saysMiss;\"hepromisedtobringmesomeguitar—strings。\"
\"No，noryetM。del’Orge。Hecame，butwasnotsopoliteastoaskforme。Whatdoyouthinkofyourownbeau，theHonorableMr。
AlgernonDeuceace;\"and，sosaying，poarKickseyclappedherhandstogether，andlookedasjoyfleasifshe’dcomeintoafortin。
\"Mr。Deuceacehere;andwhy，pray？\"saysmylady，whorecklectedallthathisexlentpahadbeensayingtoher。
\"Why，inthefirstplace，hehadlefthispocket—book，andinthesecond，hewanted，hesaid，adishofmynicetea;whichhetook，andstayedwithmeanhour，ormoar。\"
\"Andpray，MissKicksey，\"saidMissMatilda，quitecontempshusly，\"whatmayhavebeenthesubjectofyourconversationwithMr。
Algernon？Didyoutalkpolitics，ormusic，orfinearts，ormetaphysics？\"MissM。beingwhatwascalledablue（asmosthump—
backedwomeninsosiatyare），alwaysmadeapinttospeakonthesegrandsubjects。
\"No，indeed;hetalkedofnosuchawfulmatters。Ifhehad，youknow，Matilda，Ishouldneverhaveunderstoodhim。Firstwetalkedabouttheweather，nextaboutmuffinsandcrumpets。Crumpets，hesaid，helikedbest;andthenwetalked\"（hereMissKicksey’svoicefell）\"aboutpoordearSirGeorgeinheaven！whatagoodhusbandhewas，and——\"
\"Whatagoodfortuneheleft，eh，MissKicksey？\"saysmylady，withahard，snearingvoice，andadiabolliclegrin。
\"Yes，dearLeonora，hespokesorespectfullyofyourblessedhusband，andseemedsoanxiousaboutyouandMatilda，itwasquitecharmingtohearhim，dearman！\"
\"Andpray，MissKicksey，whatdidyoutellhim？\"
\"Oh，ItoldhimthatyouandLeonorahadninethousandayear，and——\"
\"Whatthen？\"
\"Why，nothing;thatisallIknow。IamsureIwishIhadninety，\"
sayspoorKicksey，hereyesturningtoheaven。
\"Ninetyfiddlesticks！DidnotMr。Deuceaceaskhowthemoneywasleft，andtowhichofus？\"
\"Yes;butIcouldnottellhim。\"
\"Iknewit！\"saysmylady，slappingdownhertea—cup，——\"Iknewit！\"
\"Well！\"saysMissMatilda，\"andwhynot，LadyGriffin？Thereisnoreasonyoushouldbreakyourtea—cup，becauseAlgernonasksaharmlessquestion。HEisnotmercenary;heisallcandor，innocence，generosity！Heishimselfblessedwithasufficientportionoftheworld’sgoodstobecontent;andoftenandoftenhashetoldmehehopedthewomanofhischoicemightcometohimwithoutapenny，thathemightshowthepurityofhisaffection。\"
\"I’venodoubt，\"saysmylady。\"PerhapstheladyofhischoiceisMissMatildaGriffin！\"andsheflungoutoftheroom，slammingthedoor，andleavingMissMatildatobustintotears，aswasherreglarcustom，andpourherlovesandwoasintothebuzzomofMissKicksey。
CHAPTERIV。
\"HITTINGTHENALEONTHEHEDD。\"
Thenexmorning，downcamemeandmastertoLadyGriffinses，——I
amusingmyselfwiththegalsintheantyroom，hepayinghisdevourstotheladiesinthesalong。Misswasthrummingonhergitter;myladywasbeforeagreatboxofpapers，busywithaccounts，bankers’
books，lawyers’letters，andwhatnot。Lawblessus！it’sakindofbisnissIshouldlikewellenuff;especiallywhenmyhannualaccountwassevenoreightthousandontherightside，likemylady’s。Myladyinthishousekepallthesematterstoherself。
Misswasavastdealtoosentrimentletomindbusiness。
MissMatilda’seyessparkledasmastercamein;shepintedgracefullytoaplaceonthesofybesideher，whichDeuceacetook。
Myladyonlylookedupforamoment，smiledverykindly，anddownwentherheadamongthepapersagen，asbusyasaB。
\"LadyGriffinhashadlettersfromLondon，\"saysMiss，\"fromnastylawyersandpeople。Comehereandsitbyme，younaughtymanyou！\"
Anddownsatmaster。\"Willingly，\"sayshe，\"mydearMissGriffin;
why，Ideclare，itisquitsatete—a—tete。\"
\"Well，\"saysMiss（aftertheprillimnaryflumries，incoarse），\"wemetafriendofyoursattheembassy，Mr。Deuceace。\"
\"Myfather，doubtless;heisagreatfriendoftheambassador，andsurprisedmemyselfbyavisitthenightbeforelast。\"
\"Whatadeardelightfuloldman！howhelovesyou，Mr。Deuceace！\"
\"Oh，amazingly！\"saysmaster，throwinghisi’stoheaven。
\"Hespokeofnothingbutyou，andsuchpraisesofyou！\"
Masterbreathedmorefreely。\"Heisverygood，mydearfather;butblind，asallfathersare，heissopartialandattachedtome。\"
\"Hespokeofyoubeinghisfavoritechild，andregrettedthatyouwerenothiseldestson。’Icanbutleavehimthesmallportionofayoungerbrother，’hesaid;’butnevermind，hehastalents，anoblename，andanindependenceofhisown。’\"
\"Anindependence？yes，ohyes;Iamquiteindependentofmyfather。\"
\"Twothousandpoundsayearleftyoubyyourgodmother;theverysameyoutoldusyouknow。\"
\"Neithermorenorless，\"saysmaster，bobbinghishead;asufficiency，mydearMissGriffin，——toamanofmymoderatehabitsanampleprovision。\"
\"By—the—by，\"criesoutLadyGriffin，interruptingtheconversation，\"youwhoaretalkingaboutmoneymattersthere，IwishyouwouldcometotheaidofpoorME！Come，naughtyboy，andhelpmeoutwiththislonglongsum。\"
DIDN’THEGO——that’sall！Myi，howhisi’sshone，asheskiptacrosstheroom，andseatedhimselfbymylady！
\"Look！\"saidshe，\"myagentswritemeoverthattheyhavereceivedaremittanceof7，200rupees，at2s。9d。arupee。Dotellmewhatthesumis，inpoundsandshillings;\"whichmasterdidwithgreatgravity。
\"Ninehundredandninetypounds。Good;Idaresayyouareright。
I’msureIcan’tgothroughthefatiguetosee。Andnowcomesanotherquestion。Whosemoneyisthis，mineorMatilda’s？YouseeitistheinterestofasuminIndia，whichwehavenothadoccasiontotouch;and，accordingtothetermsofpoorSirGeorge’swill，Ireallydon’tknowhowtodisposeofthemoneyexcepttospendit。Matilda，whatshallwedowithit？\"
\"La，ma’am，Iwishyouwouldarrangethebusinessyourself。\"
\"Well，then，Algernon，YOUtellme;\"andshelaidherhandonhisandlookedhimmostpatheticklyintheface。
\"Why，\"sayshe，\"Idon’tknowhowSirGeorgelefthismoney;youmustletmeseehiswill，first。\"
\"Oh，willingly。\"
Master’schairseemedsuddenlytohavegotspringsinthecushns;
hewasobligedtoHOLDHIMSELFDOWN。
\"Lookhere，Ihaveonlyacopy，takenbymyhandfromSirGeorge’sownmanuscript。Soldiers，youknow，donotemploylawyersmuch，andthiswaswrittenonthenightbeforegoingintoaction。\"Andsheread，\"’I，GeorgeGriffin，’&c。&c。——youknowhowthesethingsbegin——’beingnowofsanemind’——um，um，um，——’leavetomyfriends，ThomasAbrahamHicks，acolonelintheH。E。I。Company’sService，andtoJohnMonroMackirkincroft（ofthehouseofHuffle，Mackirkincroft，andDobbs，atCalcutta），thewholeofmyproperty，toberealizedasspeedilyastheymay（consistentlywiththeinterestsoftheproperty），intrustformywife，LeonoraEmiliaGriffin（bornL。E。Kicksey），andmyonlylegitimatechild，MatildaGriffin。Theinterestresultingfromsuchpropertytobepaidtothem，shareandsharealike;theprincipaltoremainuntouched，inthenamesofthesaidT。A。HicksandJ。M。Mackirkincroft，untilthedeathofmywife，LeonoraEmiliaGriffin，whenitshallbepaidtomydaughter，MatildaGriffin，herheirs，executors，orassigns。’\"
\"There，\"saidmylady，\"wewon’treadanymore;alltherestisstuff。Butnowyouknowthewholebusiness，telluswhatistobedonewiththemoney？\"
\"Why，themoney，unquestionably，shouldbedividedbetweenyou。\"
\"Tantmieux，sayI;IreallythoughtithadbeenallMatilda’s。\"……
Therewasapawsforaminitortwoafterthewillhadbeenread。
Masterleftthedeskatwhichhehadbeenseatedwithherladyship，pacedupanddowntheroomforawhile，andthencameroundtotheplacewhereMissMatildawasseated。Atlasthesaid，inalow，tremblingvoice，——
\"Iamalmostsorry，mydearLadyGriffin，thatyouhavereadthatwilltome;foranattachmentsuchasminemustseem，Ifear，mercenary，whentheobjectofitissogreatlyfavoredbyworldlyfortune。MissGriffin——Matilda！IknowImaysaytheword;yourdeareyesgrantmethepermission。Ineednottellyou，oryou，dearmother—in—law，howlong，howfondly，Ihaveadoredyou。Mytender，mybeautifulMatilda，IwillnotaffecttosayIhavenotreadyourhearterethis，andthatIhavenotknownthepreferencewithwhichyouhavehonoredme。SPEAKIT，deargirl！fromyourownsweetlips：inthepresenceofanaffectionateparent，utterthesentencewhichistosealmyhappinessforlife。Matilda，dearestMatilda！say，ohsay，thatyouloveme！\"
MissM。shivered，turnedpail，rowledhereyesabout，andfellonmaster’sneck，whisperinghodibly，\"IDO！\"
Myladylookedatthepairforamomentwithherteethgrinding，heri’sglaring，herbusmthrobbing，andherfacechockwhite;foralltheworldlikeMadamPasty，intheoppraof\"Mydear\"（whenshe’sgointomudderherchildring，yourecklect）;andoutsheflouncedfromtheroom，withoutaword，knockingdownpoarme，whohappenedtobeverynearthedor，andleavingmymasteralongwithhiscrook—backmistress。
I’verepottedthespeechhemadetoherprettywell。Thefactis，Igotitinaruffcopy;onlyonthecopyit’swrote，\"LadyGriffin，Leonora！\"insteadof\"MissGriffin，Matilda，\"asintheabuff，andsoon。
Masterhadhittherightnailontheheadthistime，hethought：
buthisadventorsan’toveryet。
CHAPTERV。
THEGRIFFIN’SCLAWS。
Well，masterhadhittherightnailontheheadthistime：thanxtoluck——thecrookedone，tobesure，butthenithadtheGOOLDNOBB，whichwasthepartDeuceacemostvalued，aswellheshould;beingaconnyshureastotherelletiffvalyouofpretiousmetals，andmuchpreferringvirginggooldlikethistopooroldbatteredironlikemyLadyGriffin。
Andso，inspiteofhisfather（atwhicholdnobleminMr。Deuceacenowsnapthisfingers），inspiteofhisdetts（which，todohimJustas，hadneverstoodmuchinhisway），andinspiteofhispovatty，idleness，extravagans，swindling，anddebotcheriesofallkinds（whichan’tGENERALLYveryfavorabletoayoungmanwhohastomakehiswayintheworld）;inspiteofall，therehewas，I
say，atthetoppofthetrea，thefewchermasterofaperfectfortun，thedefiancedhusbandofafoolofawife。Whatcanmortialmanwantmore？Vishnsofambishnnowoccupiedhissoal。
Shootingboxes，oppraboxes，moneyboxesalwaysfull;huntersatMelton;aseatinthehouseofCommins：heavenknowswhat！andnotapoarfootman，whoonlydescribeswhathe’sseen，andcan’t，incors，pennytrateintotheidearsandthebusmsofmen。
Youmaybeshorethatthethree—cornerednoatscameprettythicknowfromtheGriffinses。Misswasalwaysa—writingthembefoar;
andnow，nite，noon，andmornink，breakfast，dinner，andsopper，intheycame，tillmypantry（formasterneverread’em，andIcarried’emout）waspufficklyintolrabblefromtheodorofmusk，ambygrease，bargymot，andothersensewithwhichtheywereimpregniated。Here’sthecontenseofthreeon’em，whichI’vekepinmydexthesetwentyyearsasskeewriosities。Faw！Icansmel’ematthisveryminit，asIamcopyingthemdown。
BILLYDOO。No。I。
\"Mondaymorning，2o’clock。
\"’Tisthewitchinghourofnight。Lunailluminesmychamber，andfallsuponmysleeplesspillow。ByherlightIaminditingthesewordstothee，myAlgernon。Mybraveandbeautiful，mysoul’slord！whenshallthetimecomewhenthetediousnightshallnotseparateus，northeblessedday？Twelve！one！two！Ihaveheardthebellschime，andthequarters，andneverceasetothinkofmyhusband。MyadoredPercy，pardonthegirlishconfession，——Ihavekissedtheletteratthisplace。Willthylipspressittoo，andremainforamomentonthespotwhichhasbeenequallysalutedbyyour\"MATILDA？\"
ThiswastheFUSTletter，andwasbrottoourhousebyoneofthepoarfootmin，Fitzclarence，atsickso’clockinthemorning。I
thotitwasforlifeanddeath，andwoakmasteratthatextraornaryhour，andgaveittohim。Ishallneverforgithim，whenheredit;hecrampeditup，andhecustandswoar，applyingtotheladywhoroat，thegenlmnthatbroughtit，andmewhointrojuicedittohisnoticesuchacollectionofepitafsasIseldumhered，excepatBillinxgit。Thefactisthiss;forafustletter，miss’snoatwasRATHERtoostrongandsentymentle。Butthatwasherway;shewasalwaysreadingmelancholystoarybooks——\"ThaduseofWawsaw，\"the\"SorrowsofMacWhirter，\"andsuchlike。
Afterabout6ofthem，masterneveryousedtoreadthem，buthandidthemovertome，toseeiftherewasanythinkinthemwhichmustbeanswered，inordertokipupappearuntses。ThenextletterisNo。II。
\"BELOVED！towhatstrangemadnesseswillpassionleadone！LadyGriffin，sinceyouravowalyesterday，hasnotspokenawordtoyourpoorMatilda;hasdeclaredthatshewilladmitnoone（heigho！notevenyou，myAlgernon）;andhaslockedherselfinherowndressing—
room。IdobelievethatsheisJEALOUS，andfanciesthatyouwereinlovewithHER！Ha，ha！IcouldhavetoldherANOTHERTALE——
n’est—cepas？Adieu，adieu，adieu！Athousandthousandmillionkisses！
\"M。G。
\"Mondayafternoon，2o’clock。\"
Therewasanotherletterkembeforebedtime;forthoughmeandmastercalledattheGriffinses，wewairntaloudtoenteratnoprice。MortimerandFitzclarencegrin’datme，asmuchastosayweweregoingtoberelations;butIdon’tsposemasterwasverysorrywhenhewasobleachedtocomebackwithoutseeingthefareobjictofhisaffeckshns。
Well，onChewsdytherewasthesamegame;dittoonWensday;only，whenwecalledthere，whoshouldweseebutourfather，LordCrabs，whowaswaivinghishandtoMissKicksey，andsayingHESHOULDBE
BACKTODINNERAT7，justasmeandmastercameupthestares。
Therewasnoadmittnsforusthough。\"Bah！bah！nevermind，\"saysmylord，takinghissonaffeckshnatelybythehand。\"What，twostringstoyourbow;ay，Algernon？Thedowageralittlejealous，missalittlelovesick。Butmylady’sfitofangerwillvanish，andIpromiseyou，myboy，thatyoushallseeyourfaironeto—
morrow。\"
Andsosaying，mylordwalkedmasterdownstares，lookingathimastenderandaffeckshnat，andspeakingtohimassweetasposbill。
Masterdidnotknowwhattothinkofit。Henevernewwhatgamehisoldfatherwasat;onlyhesomehowfeltthathehadgothisheadinanet，inspiteofhissuxessonSunday。Iknewit——Iknewitquitewell，assoonasIsawtheoldgenlmnigsamminhimbyakindofsmilewhichcameoverhisoldface，andwassomethinkbetwigsttheangellicandthedirebollicle。
Butmaster’sdowtswereclearedupnexdayandeverythingwasbrightagain。Atbrexfast，incomesanotewithinclosier，boathofwitchIherecopy：——
No。IX。
\"Thursdaymorning。
\"Victoria，Victoria！Mammahasyieldedatlast;notherconsenttoourunion，butherconsenttoreceiveyouasbefore;andhaspromisedtoforgetthepast。Sillywoman，howcouldsheeverthinkofyouasanythingbuttheloverofyourMatilda？Iaminawhirlofdeliciousjoyandpassionateexcitement。Ihavebeenawakeallthislongnight，thinkingofthee，myAlgernon，andlongingfortheblissfulhourofmeeting。
\"Come！M。G。\"
Thisistheinclosierfrommylady：——
\"IwillnottellyouthatyourbehavioronSundaydidnotdeeplyshockme。Ihadbeenfoolishenoughtothinkofotherplans，andtofancyyourheart（ifyouhadany）wasfixedelsewherethanononeatwhosefoiblesyouhaveoftenlaughedwithme，andwhosepersonatleastcannothavecharmedyou。
\"Mystep—daughterwillnot，Ipresume，marrywithoutatleastgoingthroughtheceremonyofaskingmyconsent;Icannot，asyet，giveit。HaveInotreasontodoubtwhethershewillbehappyintrustingherselftoyou？
\"Butsheisofage，andhastherighttoreceiveinherownhouseallthosewhomaybeagreeabletoher，——certainlyyou，whoarelikelytobeonedaysonearlyconnectedwithher。IfIhavehonestreasontobelievethatyourloveforMissGriffinissincere;ifIfindinafewmonthsthatyouyourselfarestilldesiroustomarryher，Ican，ofcourse，placenofurtherobstaclesinyourway。
\"Youarewelcome，then，toreturntoourhotel。IcannotpromisetoreceiveyouasIdidofold;youwoulddespisemeifIdid。I
canpromise，however，tothinknomoreofallthathaspassedbetweenus，andyieldupmyownhappinessforthatofthedaughterofmydearhusband。
\"L。E。G。\"
Well，now，an’tthisamanly，straitforardletterenough，andnatralfromawomanwhomwehad，toconfessthetruth，treatedmostscuvvily？Masterthoughtso，andwentandmadeatender，respeckfulspeachtoLadyGriffin（alittleflumrycostsnothink）。Graveandsorrofllehekistherhand，and，speakininaverylowadgitaytedvoice，calldHevntowitnesshowhedeplordthathisconductshouldeverhavegivenrisetosuchanunforntideer;butifhemightofferheresteem，respect，thewarmestandtenderestadmiration，hetrustedshewouldacceptthesame，andadealmoarflumryofthekind，withdark，sollumglansisoftheeyes，andplentyofwhitepockit—hankercher。
Hethoughthe’dmakeallsafe。Poarfool！hewasinanet——sichanetasIneveryetseesettoketcharoagin。
CHAPTERVI。
THEJEWEL。
TheShevalierdel’Orge，theyoungFrenchminwhomIwroteofinmylast，whohadbeenrathershyofhisvisitswhilemasterwascomingitsoverystrong，nowcamebacktohisoldplacebythesideofLadyGriffin：therewasnolovenow，though，betwigsthimandmaster，althoughtheshevallierhadgothisladybackagin;
DeuceacebeingcompleatlydevotedtohiscrookidVeanus。
Theshevalierwasalittle，pale，moddist，insinifishntcreature;
andIshoodn’thavethought，fromhisappearants，wouldhavethehearttodoharmtoafli，muchlesstostandbeforsuchatremendioustigerandfire—eaterasmymaster。ButIseeputtywell，afteraweek，fromhismannerofgoingon——ofspeakinatmaster，andlookinathim，andoldinghislipstightwhenDeuceacecameintotheroom，andglaringathimwithhisi’s，thathehatedtheHonrabbleAlgernonPercy。
ShallItellyouwhy？BecausemyLadyGriffinhatedhim：hatedhimwussthanpison，orthedevvle，orevenwussthanherdaughter—in—
law。Prapsyouphansythattheletteryouhavejussredwashonest;prapsyouamadginthattheseanofthereadingofthewillcameonbymerechans，andinthereglarcorsofsuckmstansies：itwasallaGAME，Itellyou——areglartrap;andthatextrodnarcleveryoungman，mymaster，asneatlyputhisfootintoit，aseverapocherdidinfesntpreserve。
TheshevalierhadhisqfromLadyGriffin。WhenDeuceacewentoffthefeald，backcameDel’Orgetoherfeet，notawittlesstenderthanbefor。Porfellow，porfellow！hereallylovedthiswoman。
Hemightaswellhavefolninlovewithabore—constructor！Hewassoblindedandbeatbythepowerwichshehadgotoverhim，thatifshetoldhimblackwaswhitehe’dbeleaveit，orifsheorderedhimtocommitmurder，he’ddoit：shewantedsomethingverylikeit，I
cantellyou。
I’vealreadysaidhow，inthefustpartoftheiracquaintance，masterusedtolaffatDel’Orge’sbadInglish，andfunnyways。
Thelittlecreaturehadathowsndofthese;andbeingsmall，andaFrenchman，master，incors，lookedonhimwiththatgood—humoredkindofcontempwhichagoodBrittnotalwaystoshow。Heraythertreatedhimlikeanintelligentmunkythanaman，andorderedhimaboutasifhe’dbeanmylady’sfootman。
Allthismunseertookinverygoodpart，untilafterthequarlbetwigstmasterandLadyGriffin;whenthatladytookcaretoturnthetables。Whenevermasterandmisswerenotpresent（asI’veheardtheservantssay），sheusedtolaffatshevalliayforhisobeajanceandsivillattytomaster。Forherpart，shewonderedhowamanofhisbirthcouldactaservnt：howanymancouldsubmittosuchcontemsheousbehaviorfromanother;andthenshetoldhimhowDeuceacewasalwayssnearingathimbehindhisback;how，infact，heoughttohatehimcorjaly，andhowitwassuttalytimetoshowhissperrit。
Well，thepoarlittlemanbeleavedallthisfromhishart，andwasangryorpleased，gentleorquarlsum，igsactlyasmyladyliked。
Theregottobefrequintrowsbetwigsthimandmaster;sharpwordsflungateachotheracrossthedinner—table;dispewtsabouthandingladiestheirsmeling—botls，orseeingthemtotheircarridge;orgoinginandoutofaroamfust，oranysuchnonsince。
\"Forhevn’ssake，\"Iheerdmylady，inthemidlofoneofthesetiffs，say，pail，andthetearstremblinginheri’s，\"do，dobecalm，Mr。Deuceace。Monsieurdel’Orge，Ibeseechyoutoforgivehim。Youare，bothofyou，soesteemed，lov’d，bymembersofthisfamily，thatforitspeaceaswellasyourown，youshouldforbeartoquarrel。\"
ItwasonthewaytotheSallyMangythatthisbranglinghadbegun，anditendedjestastheywereseatingthemselves。IshallneverforgitpoarlittleDel’Orge’seyes，whenmyladysaid\"bothofyou。\"Hestair’datmyladyforamomint，turnedpail，red，look’dwild，andthen，goingroundtomaster，shookhishandasifhewouldhavewrungitoff。Mr。Deuceaceonlybow’dandgrin’d，andturnedawayquitestately;MissheavedaloudOfromherbusm，andlookedupinhisfacewithanigspreshnjestasifshecouldhaveeathimupwithlove;andthelittleshevalliaysatedowntohissoop—plate，andwussohappy，thatI’mblestifhewasn’tcrying！
Hethoughtthewiddowhadmadeherdeclyration，andwouldhavehim;
andsothoughtDeuceace，wholook’datherforsometimemightybitterandcontempshus，andthenfella—talkingwithMiss。
Now，thoughmasterdidn’tchoosetomarryLadyGriffin，ashemighthavedone，heyetthoughtfittobeveryangryatthenotionofhermarryinganybodyelse;andso，consquintly，wasinafewryatthisconfisionwhichshehadmaderegardingherparshaleatyfortheFrenchshevaleer。