Re—enterFirstDrawerFirstDrawerSir，AncientPistol’sbelow，andwouldspeakwithyou。DOLLTEARSHEETHanghim，swaggeringrascal！lethimnotcomehither：itisthefoul—mouthed’strogueinEngland。MISTRESSQUICKLYIfheswagger，lethimnotcomehere：
no，bymyfaith;Imustliveamongmyneighbours：I’llnoswaggerers：Iamingoodnameandfamewiththeverybest：shutthedoor;therecomesnoswaggerershere：Ihavenotlivedallthiswhile，tohaveswaggeringnow：shutthedoor，Iprayyou。FALSTAFFDostthouhear，hostess？MISTRESSQUICKLYPrayye，pacifyyourself，SirJohn：therecomesnoswaggerershere。FALSTAFFDostthouhear？itismineancient。MISTRESSQUICKLYTilly—fally，SirJohn，ne’ertellme：
yourancientswaggerercomesnotinmydoors。IwasbeforeMasterTisick，thedebuty，t’otherday;and，ashesaidtome，’twasnolongeragothanWednesdaylast，’I’
goodfaith，neighbourQuickly，’sayshe;MasterDumbe，ourminister，wasbythen;’neighbourQuickly，’sayshe，’receivethosethatarecivil;
for，’saidhe，’youareinanillname：’nowa’
saidso，Icantellwhereupon;’for，’sayshe，’youareanhonestwoman，andwellthoughton;thereforetakeheedwhatguestsyoureceive：receive，’sayshe，’noswaggeringcompanions。’Therecomesnonehere：youwouldblessyoutohearwhathesaid：
no，I’llnoswaggerers。FALSTAFFHe’snoswaggerer，hostess;atamecheater，i’
faith;youmaystrokehimasgentlyasapuppygreyhound：he’llnotswaggerwithaBarbaryhen，ifherfeathersturnbackinanyshowofresistance。
Callhimup，drawer。
ExitFirstDrawerMISTRESSQUICKLYCheater，callyouhim？Iwillbarnohonestmanmyhouse，nornocheater：butIdonotloveswaggering，bymytroth;Iamtheworse，whenonesaysswagger：feel，masters，howIshake;lookyou，Iwarrantyou。DOLLTEARSHEETSoyoudo，hostess。MISTRESSQUICKLYDoI？yea，inverytruth，doI，an’twereanaspenleaf：Icannotabideswaggerers。
EnterPISTOL，BARDOLPH，andPagePISTOLGodsaveyou，SirJohn！FALSTAFFWelcome，AncientPistol。Here，Pistol，Ichargeyouwithacupofsack：doyoudischargeuponminehostess。PISTOLIwilldischargeuponher，SirJohn，withtwobullets。FALSTAFFSheisPistol—proof，sir;youshallhardlyoffendher。MISTRESSQUICKLYCome，I’lldrinknoproofsnornobullets：
I’lldrinknomorethanwilldomegood，fornoman’spleasure，I。PISTOLThentoyou，MistressDorothy;Iwillchargeyou。DOLLTEARSHEETChargeme！Iscornyou，scurvycompanion。
What！
youpoor，base，rascally，cheating，lack—linenmate！Away，youmouldyrogue，away！Iammeatforyourmaster。PISTOLIknowyou，MistressDorothy。DOLLTEARSHEETAway，youcut—purserascal！youfilthybung，away！
bythiswine，I’llthrustmyknifeinyourmouldychaps，anyouplaythesaucycuttlewithme。
Away，youbottle—alerascal！youbasket—hiltstalejuggler，you！Sincewhen，Iprayyou，sir？God’slight，withtwopointsonyourshoulder？much！PISTOLGodletmenotlive，butIwillmurderyourruffforthis。FALSTAFFNomore，Pistol;Iwouldnothaveyougooffhere：
dischargeyourselfofourcompany，Pistol。MISTRESSQUICKLYNo，GoodCaptainPistol;nothere，sweetcaptain。DOLLTEARSHEETCaptain！thouabominabledamnedcheater，artthounotashamedtobecalledcaptain？Ancaptainswereofmymind，theywouldtruncheonyouout，fortakingtheirnamesuponyoubeforeyouhaveearnedthem。Youacaptain！youslave，forwhat？fortearingapoorwhore’sruffinabawdy—house？
Heacaptain！hanghim，rogue！helivesuponmouldystewedprunesanddriedcakes。Acaptain！God’slight，thesevillainswillmakethewordasodiousastheword’occupy;’whichwasanexcellentgoodwordbeforeitwasillsorted：thereforecaptainshadneedlookto’t。BARDOLPHPraythee，godown，goodancient。FALSTAFFHarktheehither，MistressDoll。PISTOLNotIItelltheewhat，CorporalBardolph，Icouldtearher：I’llberevengedofher。PagePraythee，godown。PISTOLI’llseeherdamnedfirst;toPluto’sdamnedlake，bythishand，totheinfernaldeep，withErebusandtorturesvilealso。Holdhookandline，sayI。
Down，down，dogs！down，faitors！HavewenotHirenhere？MISTRESSQUICKLYGoodCaptainPeesel，bequiet;’tisverylate，i’
faith：Ibeseekyounow，aggravateyourcholer。PISTOLThesebegoodhumours，indeed！Shallpack—horsesAndhollowpamper’djadesofAsia，Whichcannotgobutthirtymilea—day，ComparewithCaesars，andwithCannibals，AndTrojanGreeks？nay，ratherdamnthemwithKingCerberus;andletthewelkinroar。
Shallwefallfoulfortoys？MISTRESSQUICKLYBymytroth，captain，theseareverybitterwords。BARDOLPHBegone，goodancient：thiswillgrowtoabrawlanon。PISTOLDiemenlikedogs！givecrownslikepins！
HavewenotHerenhere？MISTRESSQUICKLYO’myword，captain，there’snonesuchhere。Whatthegood—year！doyouthinkIwoulddenyher？
ForGod’ssake，bequiet。PISTOLThenfeed，andbefat，myfairCalipolis。
Come，give’ssomesack。
’Sifortunemetormente，speratomecontento。’
Fearwebroadsides？no，letthefiendgivefire：
Givemesomesack：and，sweetheart，liethouthere。
LayingdownhisswordComewetofullpointshere;andareetceterasnothing？FALSTAFFPistol，Iwouldbequiet。PISTOLSweetknight，Ikissthyneaf：what！
wehaveseenthesevenstars。DOLLTEARSHEETForGod’ssake，thrusthimdownstairs：
Icannotenduresuchafustianrascal。PISTOLThrusthimdownstairs！knowwenotGallowaynags？FALSTAFFQuoithimdown，Bardolph，likeashove—groatshilling：nay，ana’donothingbutspeaknothing，a’shallbenothinghere。BARDOLPHCome，getyoudownstairs。PISTOLWhat！shallwehaveincision？shallweimbrue？
SnatchinguphisswordThendeathrockmeasleep，abridgemydolefuldays！
Why，then，letgrievous，ghastly，gapingwoundsUntwinetheSistersThree！Come，Atropos，Isay！MISTRESSQUICKLYHere’sgoodlystufftoward！FALSTAFFGivememyrapier，boy。DOLLTEARSHEETIpraythee，Jack，Ipraythee，donotdraw。FALSTAFFGetyoudownstairs。
Drawing，anddrivingPISTOLoutMISTRESSQUICKLYHere’sagoodlytumult！I’llforswearkeepinghouse，aforeI’llbeinthesetirritsandfrights。
So;murder，Iwarrantnow。Alas，alas！putupyournakedweapons，putupyournakedweapons。
ExeuntPISTOLandBARDOLPHDOLLTEARSHEETIpraythee，Jack，bequiet;therascal’sgone。
Ah，youwhoresonlittlevaliantvillain，you！MISTRESSQUICKLYHeyounothurti’thegroin？methoughta’madeashrewdthrustatyourbelly。
Re—enterBARDOLPHFALSTAFFHaveyouturnedhimouto’doors？BARDOLPHYea，sir。Therascal’sdrunk：youhavehurthim，sir，i’theshoulder。FALSTAFFArascal！tobraveme！DOLLTEARSHEETAh，yousweetlittlerogue，you！alas，poorape，howthousweatest！come，letmewipethyface;
comeon，youwhoresonchops：ah，rogue！i’faith，I
lovethee：thouartasvalorousasHectorofTroy，worthfiveofAgamemnon，andtentimesbetterthantheNineWorthies：ah，villain！FALSTAFFArascallyslave！Iwilltosstherogueinablanket。DOLLTEARSHEETDo，anthoudarestforthyheart：anthoudost，I’llcanvasstheebetweenapairofsheets。
EnterMusicPageThemusiciscome，sir。FALSTAFFLetthemplay。Play，sirs。Sitonmyknee，Doll。
Arascalbraggingslave！theroguefledfrommelikequicksilver。DOLLTEARSHEETI’faith，andthoufollowedsthimlikeachurch。
ThouwhoresonlittletidyBartholomewboar—pig，whenwiltthouleavefightingo’daysandfoiningo’nights，andbegintopatchupthineoldbodyforheaven？
Enter，behind，PRINCEHENRYandPOINS，disguisedFALSTAFFPeace，goodDoll！donotspeaklikeadeath’s—head;
donotbidmeremembermineend。DOLLTEARSHEETSirrah，whathumour’stheprinceof？FALSTAFFAgoodshallowyoungfellow：a’wouldhavemadeagoodpantler，a’wouldha’chipp’dbreadwell。DOLLTEARSHEETTheysayPoinshasagoodwit。FALSTAFFHeagoodwit？hanghim，baboon！hiswit’sasthickasTewksburymustard;there’snomoreconceitinhimthanisinamallet。DOLLTEARSHEETWhydoestheprincelovehimso，then？FALSTAFFBecausetheirlegsarebothofabigness，anda’
playsatquoitswell，andeatscongerandfennel，anddrinksoffcandles’endsforflap—dragons，andridesthewild—marewiththeboys，andjumpsuponjoined—stools，andswearswithagoodgrace，andwearshisbootsverysmooth，likeuntothesignoftheleg，andbreedsnobatewithtellingofdiscreetstories;andsuchothergambolfacultiesa’has，thatshowaweakmindandanablebody，forthewhichtheprinceadmitshim：fortheprincehimselfissuchanother;theweightofahairwillturnthescalesbetweentheiravoirdupois。PRINCEHENRYWouldnotthisnaveofawheelhavehisearscutoff？POINSLet’sbeathimbeforehiswhore。PRINCEHENRYLook，whetherthewitheredelderhathnothispollclawedlikeaparrot。POINSIsitnotstrangethatdesireshouldsomanyyearsoutliveperformance？FALSTAFFKissme，Doll。PRINCEHENRYSaturnandVenusthisyearinconjunction！
whatsaysthealmanactothat？POINSAndlook，whetherthefieryTrigon，hisman，benotlispingtohismaster’soldtables，hisnote—book，hiscounsel—keeper。FALSTAFFThoudostgivemeflatteringbusses。DOLLTEARSHEETBymytroth，Ikisstheewithamostconstantheart。FALSTAFFIamold，Iamold。DOLLTEARSHEETIlovetheebetterthanIlovee’erascurvyyoungboyofthemall。FALSTAFFWhatstuffwilthaveakirtleof？Ishallreceivemoneyo’Thursday：shalthaveacapto—morrow。
A
merrysong，come：itgrowslate;we’lltobed。
Thou’ltforgetmewhenIamgone。DOLLTEARSHEETBymytroth，thou’ltsetmea—weeping，anthousayestso：provethateverIdressmyselfhandsometillthyreturn：well，harkenattheend。FALSTAFFSomesack，Francis。PRINCEHENRYPOINSAnon，anon，sir。
ComingforwardFALSTAFFHa！abastardsonoftheking’s？AndartnotthouPoinshisbrother？PRINCEHENRYWhy，thouglobeofsinfulcontinents！
whatalifedostthoulead！FALSTAFFAbetterthanthou：Iamagentleman;
thouartadrawer。PRINCEHENRYVerytrue，sir;andIcometodrawyououtbytheears。MISTRESSQUICKLYO，theLordpreservethygoodgrace！
bymytroth，welcometoLondon。Now，theLordblessthatsweetfaceofthine！O，Jesu，areyoucomefromWales？FALSTAFFThouwhoresonmadcompoundofmajesty，bythislightfleshandcorruptblood，thouartwelcome。DOLLTEARSHEETHow，youfatfool！Iscornyou。POINSMylord，hewilldriveyououtofyourrevengeandturnalltoamerriment，ifyoutakenottheheat。PRINCEHENRYYouwhoresoncandle—mine，you，howvilelydidyouspeakofmeevennowbeforethishonest，virtuous，civilgentlewoman！MISTRESSQUICKLYGod’sblessingofyourgoodheart！andsosheis，bymytroth。FALSTAFFDidstthouhearme？PRINCEHENRYYea，andyouknewme，asyoudidwhenyouranawaybyGad’s—hill：youknewIwasatyourback，andspokeitonpurposetotrymypatience。FALSTAFFNo，no，no;notso;Ididnotthinkthouwastwithinhearing。PRINCEHENRYIshalldriveyouthentoconfessthewilfulabuse;
andthenIknowhowtohandleyou。FALSTAFFNoabuse，Hal，o’minehonour，noabuse。PRINCEHENRYNottodispraiseme，andcallmepantierandbread—chipperandIknownotwhat？FALSTAFFNoabuse，Hal。POINSNoabuse？FALSTAFFNoabuse，Ned，i’theworld;honestNed，none。I
dispraisedhimbeforethewicked，thatthewickedmightnotfallinlovewithhim;inwhichdoing，I
havedonethepartofacarefulfriendandatruesubject，andthyfatheristogivemethanksforit。
Noabuse，Hal：none，Ned，none：no，faith，boys，none。PRINCEHENRYSeenow，whetherpurefearandentirecowardicedothnotmaketheewrongthisvirtuousgentlewomantoclosewithus？issheofthewicked？isthinehostesshereofthewicked？oristhyboyofthewicked？orhonestBardolph，whosezealburnsinhisnose，ofthewicked？POINSAnswer，thoudeadelm，answer。FALSTAFFThefiendhathprickeddownBardolphirrecoverable;
andhisfaceisLucifer’sprivy—kitchen，wherehedothnothingbutroastmalt—worms。Fortheboy，thereisagoodangelabouthim;butthedeviloutbidshimtoo。PRINCEHENRYForthewomen？FALSTAFFForoneofthem，sheisinhellalready，andburnspoorsouls。Fortheother，Iowehermoney，andwhethershebedamnedforthat，Iknownot。MISTRESSQUICKLYNo，Iwarrantyou。FALSTAFFNo，Ithinkthouartnot;Ithinkthouartquitforthat。Marry，thereisanotherindictmentuponthee，forsufferingfleshtobeeateninthyhouse，contrarytothelaw;forthewhichIthinkthouwilthowl。MISTRESSQUICKLYAllvictuallersdoso;what’sajointofmuttonortwoinawholeLent？PRINCEHENRYYou，gentlewoman，—DOLLTEARSHEETWhatsaysyourgrace？FALSTAFFHisgracesaysthatwhichhisfleshrebelsagainst。
KnockingwithinMISTRESSQUICKLYWhoknockssoloudatdoor？Looktothedoorthere，Francis。
EnterPETOPRINCEHENRYPeto，hownow！whatnews？PETOThekingyourfatherisatWestminster：
AndtherearetwentyweakandweariedpostsComefromthenorth：and，asIcamealong，Imetandovertookadozencaptains，Bare—headed，sweating，knockingatthetaverns，AndaskingeveryoneforSirJohnFalstaff。PRINCEHENRYByheaven，Poins，Ifeelmemuchtoblame，Soidlytoprofanetheprecioustime，Whentempestofcommotion，likethesouthBornewithblackvapour，dothbegintomeltAnddropuponourbareunarmedheads。
Givememyswordandcloak。Falstaff，goodnight。
ExeuntPRINCEHENRY，POINS，PETOandBARDOLPHFALSTAFFNowcomesinthesweetestmorselofthenight，andwemusthenceandleaveitunpicked。
KnockingwithinMoreknockingatthedoor！
Re—enterBARDOLPH
Hownow！what’sthematter？BARDOLPHYoumustawaytocourt，sir，presently;
Adozencaptainsstayatdoorforyou。FALSTAFF[TothePage]Paythemusicians，sirrah。
Farewell，hostess;farewell，Doll。Yousee，mygoodwenches，howmenofmeritaresoughtafter：theundeservermaysleep，whenthemanofactioniscalledon。
Farewellgoodwenches：ifIbenotsentawaypost，IwillseeyouagainereIgo。DOLLTEARSHEETIcannotspeak;ifmyheartbenotreadtoburst，——
well，sweetJack，haveacareofthyself。FALSTAFFFarewell，farewell。
ExeuntFALSTAFFandBARDOLPHMISTRESSQUICKLYWell，faretheewell：Ihaveknowntheethesetwenty—nineyears，comepeascod—time;butanhonesterandtruer—heartedman，——well，faretheewell。BARDOLPH[Within]MistressTearsheet！MISTRESSQUICKLYWhat’sthematter？BARDOLPH[Within]GoodMistressTearsheet，cometomymaster。MISTRESSQUICKLYO，run，Doll，run;run，goodDoll：come。
ShecomesblubberedYea，willyoucome，Doll？
ExeuntACTIIISCENEI。Westminster。Thepalace。EnterKINGHENRYIVinhisnightgown，withaPageKINGHENRYIVGocalltheEarlsofSurreyandofWarwick;
But，eretheycome，bidthemo’er—readtheseletters，Andwellconsiderofthem;makegoodspeed。
ExitPageHowmanythousandofmypoorestsubjectsAreatthishourasleep！Osleep，Ogentlesleep，Nature’ssoftnurse，howhaveIfrightedthee，ThatthounomorewiltweighmyeyelidsdownAndsteepmysensesinforgetfulness？
Whyrather，sleep，liestthouinsmokycribs，UponuneasypalletsstretchingtheeAndhush’dwithbuzzingnight—fliestothyslumber，Thanintheperfumedchambersofthegreat，Underthecanopiesofcostlystate，Andlull’dwithsoundofsweetestmelody？
Othoudullgod，whyliestthouwiththevileInloathsomebeds，andleavestthekinglycouchAwatch—caseoracommon’larum—bell？
WiltthouuponthehighandgiddymastSealuptheship—boy’seyes，androckhisbrainsIncradleoftherudeimperioussurgeAndinthevisitationofthewinds，Whotaketheruffianbillowsbythetop，CurlingtheirmonstrousheadsandhangingthemWithdeafeningclamourintheslipperyclouds，That，withthehurly，deathitselfawakes？
Canstthou，Opartialsleep，givethyreposeTothewetsea—boyinanhoursorude，Andinthecalmestandmoststillestnight，Withallappliancesandmeanstoboot，Denyittoaking？Thenhappylow，liedown！
Uneasyliestheheadthatwearsacrown。
EnterWARWICKandSURREYWARWICKManygoodmorrowstoyourmajesty！KINGHENRYIVIsitgoodmorrow，lords？WARWICK’Tisoneo’clock，andpast。KINGHENRYIVWhy，then，goodmorrowtoyouall，mylords。
Haveyoureado’erthelettersthatIsentyou？WARWICKWehave，myliege。KINGHENRYIVThenyouperceivethebodyofourkingdomHowfoulitis;whatrankdiseasesgrowAndwithwhatdanger，neartheheartofit。WARWICKItisbutasabodyyetdistemper’d;
WhichtohisformerstrengthmayberestoredWithgoodadviceandlittlemedicine：
MyLordNorthumberlandwillsoonbecool’d。KINGHENRYIVOGod！thatonemightreadthebookoffate，AndseetherevolutionofthetimesMakemountainslevel，andthecontinent，Wearyofsolidfirmness，meltitselfIntothesea！and，othertimes，toseeThebeachygirdleoftheoceanToowideforNeptune’ships;howchancesmock，AndchangesfillthecupofalterationWithdiversliquors！O，ifthiswereseen，Thehappiestyouth，viewinghisprogressthrough，Whatperilspast，whatcrossestoensue，Wouldshutthebook，andsithimdownanddie。
’Tisnot’tenyearsgoneSinceRichardandNorthumberland，greatfriends，Didfeasttogether，andintwoyearsafterWeretheyatwars：itisbuteightyearssinceThisPercywasthemannearestmysoul，Wholikeabrothertoil’dinmyaffairsAndlaidhisloveandlifeundermyfoot，Yea，formysake，eventotheeyesofRichardGavehimdefiance。Butwhichofyouwasby——
You，cousinNevil，asImayremember——
ToWARWICK
WhenRichard，withhiseyebrimfuloftears，Thencheque’dandratedbyNorthumberland，Didspeakthesewords，nowprovedaprophecy？
’Northumberland，thouladderbythewhichMycousinBolingbrokeascendsmythrone;’
Thoughthen，Godknows，Ihadnosuchintent，Butthatnecessitysobow’dthestateThatIandgreatnesswerecompell’dtokiss：
’Thetimeshallcome，’thusdidhefollowit，’Thetimewillcome，thatfoulsin，gatheringhead，Shallbreakintocorruption：’sowenton，Foretellingthissametime’sconditionAndthedivisionofouramity。WARWICKThereisahistoryinallmen’slives，Figuringthenatureofthetimesdeceased;
Thewhichobserved，amanmayprophesy，Withanearaim，ofthemainchanceofthingsAsyetnotcometolife，whichintheirseedsAndweakbeginningslieintreasured。
Suchthingsbecomethehatchandbroodoftime;
AndbythenecessaryformofthisKingRichardmightcreateaperfectguessThatgreatNorthumberland，thenfalsetohim，Wouldofthatseedgrowtoagreaterfalseness;
Whichshouldnotfindagroundtorootupon，Unlessonyou。KINGHENRYIVArethesethingsthennecessities？
Thenletusmeetthemlikenecessities：
Andthatsamewordevennowcriesoutonus：
TheysaythebishopandNorthumberlandArefiftythousandstrong。WARWICKItcannotbe，mylord;
Rumourdothdouble，likethevoiceandecho，Thenumbersofthefear’d。PleaseityourgraceTogotobed。Uponmysoul，mylord，ThepowersthatyoualreadyhavesentforthShallbringthisprizeinveryeasily。
Tocomfortyouthemore，IhavereceivedAcertaininstancethatGlendowerisdead。
Yourmajestyhathbeenthisfortnightill，Andtheseunseason’dhoursperforcemustaddUntoyoursickness。KINGHENRYIVIwilltakeyourcounsel：
Andweretheseinwardwarsonceoutofhand，Wewould，dearlords，untotheHolyLand。
ExeuntSCENEII。Gloucestershire。BeforeSHALLOW’Shouse。EnterSHALLOWandSILENCE，meeting;MOULDY，SHADOW，WART，FEEBLE，BULLCALF，aServantortwowiththemSHALLOWComeon，comeon，comeon，sir;givemeyourhand，sir，givemeyourhand，sir：anearlystirrer，bytherood！AndhowdothmygoodcousinSilence？SILENCEGoodmorrow，goodcousinShallow。SHALLOWAndhowdothmycousin，yourbedfellow？
andyourfairestdaughterandmine，mygod—daughterEllen？SILENCEAlas，ablackousel，cousinShallow！SHALLOWByyeaandnay，sir，IdaresaymycousinWilliamisbecomeagoodscholar：heisatOxfordstill，ishenot？SILENCEIndeed，sir，tomycost。SHALLOWA’must，then，totheinnso’courtshortly。
IwasonceofClement’sInn，whereIthinktheywilltalkofmadShallowyet。SILENCEYouwerecalled’lustyShallow’then，cousin。SHALLOWBythemass，Iwascalledanything;andIwouldhavedoneanythingindeedtoo，androundlytoo。
TherewasI，andlittleJohnDoitofStaffordshire，andblackGeorgeBarnes，andFrancisPickbone，andWillSquele，aCotswoldman;youhadnotfoursuchswinge—bucklersinalltheinnso’courtagain：
andImaysaytoyou，weknewwherethebona—robaswereandhadthebestofthemallatcommandment。ThenwasJackFalstaff，nowSirJohn，aboy，andpagetoThomasMowbray，DukeofNorfolk。SILENCEThisSirJohn，cousin，thatcomeshitheranonaboutsoldiers？SHALLOWThesameSirJohn，theverysame。IseehimbreakSkogan’sheadatthecourt—gate，whena’wasacracknotthushigh：andtheverysamedaydidI
fightwithoneSampsonStockfish，afruiterer，behindGray’sInn。Jesu，Jesu，themaddaysthatI
havespent！andtoseehowmanyofmyoldacquaintancearedead！SILENCEWeshallallfollow，cousin。SHADOWCertain，’tiscertain;verysure，verysure：death，asthePsalmistsaith，iscertaintoall;allshalldie。HowagoodyokeofbullocksatStamfordfair？SILENCEBymytroth，Iwasnotthere。SHALLOWDeathiscertain。IsoldDoubleofyourtownlivingyet？SILENCEDead，sir。SHALLOWJesu，Jesu，dead！a’drewagoodbow;
anddead！a’
shotafineshoot：JohnaGauntlovedhimwell，andbettedmuchmoneyonhishead。Dead！a’wouldhaveclappedi’thecloutattwelvescore;andcarriedyouaforehandshaftafourteenandfourteenandahalf，thatitwouldhavedoneaman’sheartgoodtosee。Howascoreofewesnow？SILENCEThereafterastheybe：ascoreofgoodewesmaybeworthtenpounds。SHALLOWAndisoldDoubledead？SILENCEHerecometwoofSirJohnFalstaff’smen，asIthink。
EnterBARDOLPHandonewithhimBARDOLPHGoodmorrow，honestgentlemen：Ibeseechyou，whichisJusticeShallow？SHALLOWIamRobertShallow，sir;apooresquireofthiscounty，andoneoftheking’sjusticesofthepeace：
Whatisyourgoodpleasurewithme？BARDOLPHMycaptain，sir，commendshimtoyou;
mycaptain，SirJohnFalstaff，atallgentleman，byheaven，andamostgallantleader。SHALLOWHegreetsmewell，sir。Iknewhimagoodbackswordman。Howdoththegoodknight？mayIaskhowmyladyhiswifedoth？BARDOLPHSir，pardon;asoldierisbetteraccommodatedthanwithawife。SHALLOWItiswellsaid，infaith，sir;anditiswellsaidindeedtoo。Betteraccommodated！itisgood;yea，indeed，isit：goodphrasesaresurely，andeverwere，verycommendable。Accommodated！itcomesof’accommodo’verygood;agoodphrase。BARDOLPHPardonme，sir;Ihaveheardtheword。
Phrasecallyouit？bythisgoodday，Iknownotthephrase;
butIwillmaintainthewordwithmyswordtobeasoldier—likeword，andawordofexceedinggoodcommand，byheaven。Accommodated;thatis，whenamanis，astheysay，accommodated;orwhenamanis，being，wherebya’maybethoughttobeaccommodated;
whichisanexcellentthing。SHALLOWItisveryjust。
EnterFALSTAFF
Look，herecomesgoodSirJohn。Givemeyourgoodhand，givemeyourworship’sgoodhand：bymytroth，youlikewellandbearyouryearsverywell：
welcome，goodSirJohn。FALSTAFFIamgladtoseeyouwell，goodMasterRobertShallow：MasterSurecard，asIthink？SHALLOWNo，SirJohn;itismycousinSilence，incommissionwithme。FALSTAFFGoodMasterSilence，itwellbefitsyoushouldbeofthepeace。SILENCEYourgood—worshipiswelcome。FALSTAFFFie！thisishotweather，gentlemen。Haveyouprovidedmeherehalfadozensufficientmen？SHALLOWMarry，havewe，sir。Willyousit？FALSTAFFLetmeseethem，Ibeseechyou。SHALLOWWhere’stheroll？where’stheroll？where’stheroll？Letmesee，letmesee，letmesee。So，so：
yea，marry，sir：RalphMouldy！LetthemappearasIcall;letthemdoso，letthemdoso。Letmesee;whereisMouldy？MOULDYHere，an’tpleaseyou。SHALLOWWhatthinkyou，SirJohn？agood—limbedfellow;
young，strong，andofgoodfriends。FALSTAFFIsthynameMouldy？MOULDYYea，an’tpleaseyou。FALSTAFF’Tisthemoretimethouwertused。SHALLOWHa，ha，ha！mostexcellent，i’faith！
Thingsthataremouldylackuse：verysingulargood！infaith，wellsaid，SirJohn，verywellsaid。FALSTAFFPrickhim。MOULDYIwasprickedwellenoughbefore，anyoucouldhaveletmealone：myolddamewillbeundonenowforonetodoherhusbandryandherdrudgery：youneednottohaveprickedme;thereareothermenfittertogooutthanI。FALSTAFFGoto：peace，Mouldy;youshallgo。Mouldy，itistimeyouwerespent。MOULDYSpent！SHALLOWPeace，fellow，peace;standaside：knowyouwhereyouare？Fortheother，SirJohn：letmesee：
SimonShadow！FALSTAFFYea，marry，letmehavehimtositunder：
he’sliketobeacoldsoldier。SHALLOWWhere’sShadow？SHADOWHere，sir。FALSTAFFShadow，whosesonartthou？SHADOWMymother’sson，sir。FALSTAFFThymother’sson！likeenough，andthyfather’sshadow：sothesonofthefemaleistheshadowofthemale：itisoftenso，indeed;butmuchofthefather’ssubstance！SHALLOWDoyoulikehim，SirJohn？FALSTAFFShadowwillserveforsummer;prickhim，forwehaveanumberofshadowstofillupthemuster—book。SHALLOWThomasWart！FALSTAFFWhere’she？WARTHere，sir。FALSTAFFIsthynameWart？WARTYea，sir。FALSTAFFThouartaveryraggedwart。SHALLOWShallIprickhimdown，SirJohn？FALSTAFFItweresuperfluous;forhisapparelisbuiltuponhisbackandthewholeframestandsuponpins：
prickhimnomore。SHALLOWHa，ha，ha！youcandoit，sir;youcandoit：I
commendyouwell。FrancisFeeble！FEEBLEHere，sir。FALSTAFFWhattradeartthou，Feeble？FEEBLEAwoman’stailor，sir。SHALLOWShallIprickhim，sir？FALSTAFFYoumay：butifhehadbeenaman’stailor，he’ldha’prickedyou。Wiltthoumakeasmanyholesinanenemy’sbattleasthouhastdoneinawoman’spetticoat？FEEBLEIwilldomygoodwill，sir;youcanhavenomore。FALSTAFFWellsaid，goodwoman’stailor！wellsaid，courageousFeeble！thouwiltbeasvaliantasthewrathfuldoveormostmagnanimousmouse。Prickthewoman’stailor：well，MasterShallow;deep，MasterShallow。FEEBLEIwouldWartmighthavegone，sir。FALSTAFFIwouldthouwertaman’stailor，thatthoumightstmendhimandmakehimfittogo。Icannotputhimtoaprivatesoldierthatistheleaderofsomanythousands：letthatsuffice，mostforcibleFeeble。FEEBLEItshallsuffice，sir。FALSTAFFIamboundtothee，reverendFeeble。
Whoisnext？SHALLOWPeterBullcalfo’thegreen！FALSTAFFYea，marry，let’sseeBullcalf。BULLCALFHere，sir。FALSTAFF’ForeGod，alikelyfellow！Come，prickmeBullcalftillheroaragain。BULLCALFOLord！goodmylordcaptain，——FALSTAFFWhat，dostthouroarbeforethouartpricked？BULLCALFOLord，sir！Iamadiseasedman。FALSTAFFWhatdiseasehastthou？BULLCALFAwhoresoncold，sir，acough，sir，whichIcaughtwithringingintheking’saffairsuponhiscoronation—day，sir。FALSTAFFCome，thoushaltgotothewarsinagown;wewilthaveawaythycold;andIwilltakesuchorderthatmyfriendsshallringforthee。Ishereall？SHALLOWHereistwomorecalledthanyournumber，youmusthavebutfourhere，sir：andso，Iprayyou，goinwithmetodinner。FALSTAFFCome，Iwillgodrinkwithyou，butI
cannottarrydinner。Iamgladtoseeyou，bymytroth，MasterShallow。SHALLOWO，SirJohn，doyouremembersincewelayallnightinthewindmillinSaintGeorge’sfield？FALSTAFFNomoreofthat，goodMasterShallow，nomoreofthat。SHALLOWHa！’twasamerrynight。AndisJaneNightworkalive？FALSTAFFShelives，MasterShallow。SHALLOWShenevercouldawaywithme。FALSTAFFNever，never;shewouldalwayssayshecouldnotabideMasterShallow。SHALLOWBythemass，Icouldangerhertotheheart。Shewasthenabona—roba。Dothsheholdherownwell？FALSTAFFOld，old，MasterShallow。SHALLOWNay，shemustbeold;shecannotchoosebutbeold;
certainshe’sold;andhadRobinNightworkbyoldNightworkbeforeIcametoClement’sInn。SILENCEThat’sfifty—fiveyearago。SHALLOWHa，cousinSilence，thatthouhadstseenthatthatthisknightandIhaveseen！Ha，SirJohn，saidIwell？FALSTAFFWehaveheardthechimesatmidnight，MasterShallow。SHALLOWThatwehave，thatwehave，thatwehave;
infaith，SirJohn，wehave：ourwatch—wordwas’Hemboys！’
Come，let’stodinner;come，let’stodinner：
Jesus，thedaysthatwehaveseen！Come，come。
ExeuntFALSTAFFandJusticesBULLCALFGoodMasterCorporateBardolph，standmyfriend;
andhere’sfourHarrytenshillingsinFrenchcrownsforyou。Inverytruth，sir，Ihadasliefbehanged，sir，asgo：andyet，formineownpart，sir，Idonotcare;butrather，becauseIamunwilling，and，formineownpart，haveadesiretostaywithmyfriends;else，sir，Ididnotcare，formineownpart，somuch。BARDOLPHGoto;standaside。MOULDYAnd，goodmastercorporalcaptain，formyolddame’ssake，standmyfriend：shehasnobodytodoanythingaboutherwhenIamgone;andsheisold，andcannothelpherself：Youshallhaveforty，sir。BARDOLPHGoto;standaside。FEEBLEBymytroth，Icarenot;amancandiebutonce：weoweGodadeath：I’llne’erbearabasemind：
an’tbemydestiny，so;an’tbenot，so：nomanistoogoodtoserve’sprince;andletitgowhichwayitwill，hethatdiesthisyearisquitforthenext。BARDOLPHWellsaid;thou’rtagoodfellow。FEEBLEFaith，I’llbearnobasemind。
Re—enterFALSTAFFandtheJusticesFALSTAFFCome，sir，whichmenshallIhave？SHALLOWFourofwhichyouplease。BARDOLPHSir，awordwithyou：IhavethreepoundtofreeMouldyandBullcalf。FALSTAFFGoto;well。SHALLOWCome，SirJohn，whichfourwillyouhave？FALSTAFFDoyouchooseforme。SHALLOWMarry，then，Mouldy，Bullcalf，FeebleandShadow。FALSTAFFMouldyandBullcalf：foryou，Mouldy，stayathometillyouarepastservice：andforyourpart，Bullcalf，growtillyoucomeuntoit：Iwillnoneofyou。SHALLOWSirJohn，SirJohn，donotyourselfwrong：
theyareyourlikeliestmen，andIwouldhaveyouservedwiththebest。FALSTAFFWillyoutellme，MasterShallow，howtochooseaman？CareIforthelimb，thethewes，thestature，bulk，andbigassemblanceofaman！Givemethespirit，MasterShallow。Here’sWart;youseewhataraggedappearanceitis;a’shallchargeyouanddischargeyouwiththemotionofapewterer’shammer，comeoffandonswifterthanhethatgibbetsonthebrewer’sbucket。Andthissamehalf—facedfellow，Shadow;givemethisman：hepresentsnomarktotheenemy;thefoemanmaywithasgreataimlevelattheedgeofapenknife。Andforaretreat;
howswiftlywillthisFeeblethewoman’stailorrunoff！O，givemethesparemen，andsparemethegreatones。PutmeacaliverintoWart’shand，Bardolph。BARDOLPHHold，Wart，traverse;thus，thus，thus。FALSTAFFCome，managemeyourcaliver。So：verywell：goto：verygood，exceedinggood。O，givemealwaysalittle，lean，old，chapt，baldshot。Wellsaid，i’
faith，Wart;thou’rtagoodscab：hold，there’satesterforthee。SHALLOWHeisnothiscraft’smaster;hedothnotdoitright。IrememberatMile—endGreen，whenIlayatClement’sInn——IwasthenSirDagonetinArthur’sshow，——therewasalittlequiverfellow，anda’
wouldmanageyouhispiecethus;anda’wouldaboutandabout，andcomeyouinandcomeyouin：’rah，tah，tah，’woulda’say;’bounce’woulda’say;
andawayagainwoulda’go，andagainwoulda’come：
I
shallne’erseesuchafellow。FALSTAFFThesefellowswilldowell，MasterShallow。
Godkeepyou，MasterSilence：Iwillnotusemanywordswithyou。Fareyouwell，gentlemenboth：Ithankyou：Imustadozenmileto—night。Bardolph，givethesoldierscoats。SHALLOWSirJohn，theLordblessyou！Godprosperyouraffairs！Godsenduspeace！Atyourreturnvisitourhouse;letouroldacquaintanceberenewed;
peradventureIwillwithyetothecourt。FALSTAFF’ForeGod，Iwouldyouwould，MasterShallow。SHALLOWGoto;Ihavespokeataword。Godkeepyou。FALSTAFFFareyouwell，gentlegentlemen。
ExeuntJusticesOn，Bardolph;leadthemenaway。
ExeuntBARDOLPH，Recruits，&cAsIreturn，Iwillfetchoffthesejustices：
IdoseethebottomofJusticeShallow。Lord，Lord，howsubjectweoldmenaretothisviceoflying！
Thissamestarvedjusticehathdonenothingbutpratetomeofthewildnessofhisyouth，andthefeatshehathdoneaboutTurnbullStreet：andeverythirdwordalie，duerpaidtothehearerthantheTurk’stribute。IdorememberhimatClement’sInnlikeamanmadeaftersupperofacheese—paring：whena’
wasnaked，hewas，foralltheworld，likeaforkedradish，withaheadfantasticallycarveduponitwithaknife：a’wassoforlorn，thathisdimensionstoanythicksightwereinvincible：
a’
wastheverygeniusoffamine;yetlecherousasamonkey，andthewhorescalledhimmandrake：a’
cameeverintherearwardofthefashion，andsungthosetunestotheoverscutchedhuswivesthatheheardthecarmenwhistle，andsweartheywerehisfanciesorhisgood—nights。AndnowisthisVice’sdaggerbecomeasquire，andtalksasfamiliarlyofJohnaGauntasifhehadbeenswornbrothertohim;
andI’llbesworna’ne’ersawhimbutonceintheTilt—yard;andthenhebursthisheadforcrowdingamongthemarshal’smen。Isawit，andtoldJohnaGaunthebeathisownname;foryoumighthavethrusthimandallhisapparelintoaneel—skin;
thecaseofatreblehautboywasamansionforhim，acourt：andnowhashelandandbeefs。Well，I’llbeacquaintedwithhim，ifIreturn;anditshallgohardbutIwillmakehimaphilosopher’stwostonestome：iftheyoungdacebeabaitfortheoldpike，IseenoreasoninthelawofnaturebutI
maysnapathim。Lettimeshape，andthereanend。
ExitACTIVSCENEI。Yorkshire。GaultreeForest。EntertheARCHBISHOPOFYORK，MOWBRAY，LORDHASTINGS，andothersARCHBISHOPOFYORKWhatisthisforestcall’d？HASTINGS’TisGaultreeForest，an’tshallpleaseyourgrace。ARCHBISHOPOFYORKHerestand，mylords;andsenddiscoverersforthToknowthenumbersofourenemies。HASTINGSWehavesentforthalready。ARCHBISHOPOFYORK’Tiswelldone。
Myfriendsandbrethreninthesegreataffairs，ImustacquaintyouthatIhavereceivedNew—datedlettersfromNorthumberland;
Theircoldintent，tenorandsubstance，thus：
Heredothhewishhisperson，withsuchpowersAsmightholdsortancewithhisquality，Thewhichhecouldnotlevy;whereuponHeisretired，toripehisgrowingfortunes，ToScotland：andconcludesinheartyprayersThatyourattemptsmayoverlivethehazardAndfearfulmeltingoftheiropposite。MOWBRAYThusdothehopeswehaveinhimtouchgroundAnddashthemselvestopieces。
EnteraMessengerHASTINGSNow，whatnews？MessengerWestofthisforest，scarcelyoffamile，Ingoodlyformcomesontheenemy;
And，bythegroundtheyhide，IjudgetheirnumberUponorneartherateofthirtythousand。MOWBRAYThejustproportionthatwegavethemoutLetusswayonandfacetheminthefield。ARCHBISHOPOFYORKWhatwell—appointedleaderfrontsushere？
EnterWESTMORELANDMOWBRAYIthinkitismyLordofWestmoreland。WESTMORELANDHealthandfairgreetingfromourgeneral，Theprince，LordJohnandDukeofLancaster。ARCHBISHOPOFYORKSayon，myLordofWestmoreland，inpeace：
Whatdothconcernyourcoming？WESTMORELANDThen，mylord，UntoyourgracedoIinchiefaddressThesubstanceofmyspeech。IfthatrebellionCamelikeitself，inbaseandabjectrouts，Ledonbybloodyyouth，guardedwithrags，Andcountenancedbyboysandbeggary，Isay，ifdamn’dcommotionsoappear’d，Inhistrue，nativeandmostpropershape，You，reverendfather，andthesenoblelordsHadnotbeenhere，todresstheuglyformOfbaseandbloodyinsurrectionWithyourfairhonours。You，lordarchbishop，Whoseseeisbyacivilpeacemaintained，Whosebeardthesilverhandofpeacehathtouch’d，Whoselearningandgoodletterspeacehathtutor’d，Whosewhiteinvestmentsfigureinnocence，Thedoveandveryblessedspiritofpeace，WhereforedoyousoilltranslateourselfOutofthespeechofpeacethatbearssuchgrace，Intotheharshandboisteroustongueofwar;
Turningyourbookstograves，yourinktoblood，YourpenstolancesandyourtonguedivineToatrumpetandapointofwar？ARCHBISHOPOFYORKWhereforedoIthis？sothequestionstands。
Brieflytothisend：wearealldiseased，AndwithoursurfeitingandwantonhoursHavebroughtourselvesintoaburningfever，Andwemustbleedforit;ofwhichdiseaseOurlateking，Richard，beinginfected，died。
But，mymostnobleLordofWestmoreland，Itakenotonmehereasaphysician，NordoIasanenemytopeaceTroopinthethrongsofmilitarymen;
Butrathershowawhilelikefearfulwar，TodietrankmindssickofhappinessAndpurgetheobstructionswhichbegintostopOurveryveinsoflife。Hearmemoreplainly。
Ihaveinequalbalancejustlyweigh’dWhatwrongsourarmsmaydo，whatwrongswesuffer，Andfindourgriefsheavierthanouroffences。
Weseewhichwaythestreamoftimedothrun，AndareenforcedfromourmostquietthereBytheroughtorrentofoccasion;
Andhavethesummaryofallourgriefs，Whentimeshallserve，toshowinarticles;
Whichlongerethisweoffer’dtotheking，Andmightbynosuitgainouraudience：
Whenwearewrong’dandwouldunfoldourgriefs，WearedeniedaccessuntohispersonEvenbythosementhatmosthavedoneuswrong。
Thedangersofthedaysbutnewlygone，WhosememoryiswrittenontheearthWithyetappearingblood，andtheexamplesOfeveryminute’sinstance，presentnow，Hathputusintheseill—beseemingarms，Nottobreakpeaceoranybranchofit，Buttoestablishhereapeaceindeed，Concurringbothinnameandquality。WESTMORELANDWheneveryetwasyourappealdenied？
Whereinhaveyoubeengalledbytheking？
Whatpeerhathbeensuborn’dtograteonyou，ThatyoushouldsealthislawlessbloodybookOfforgedrebellionwithasealdivineAndconsecratecommotion’sbitteredge？ARCHBISHOPOFYORKMybrothergeneral，thecommonwealth，Tobrotherbornanhouseholdcruelty，Imakemyquarrelinparticular。WESTMORELANDThereisnoneedofanysuchredress;
Oriftherewere，itnotbelongstoyou。MOWBRAYWhynottohiminpart，andtousallThatfeelthebruisesofthedaysbefore，AndsuffertheconditionofthesetimesTolayaheavyandunequalhandUponourhonours？WESTMORELANDO，mygoodLordMowbray，Construethetimestotheirnecessities，Andyoushallsayindeed，itisthetime，Andnottheking，thatdothyouinjuries。
Yetforyourpart，itnotappearstomeEitherfromthekingorinthepresenttimeThatyoushouldhaveaninchofanygroundTobuildagriefon：wereyounotrestoredToalltheDukeofNorfolk’ssignories，Yournobleandrightwellremember’dfather’s？MOWBRAYWhatthing，inhonour，hadmyfatherlost，Thatneedtoberevivedandbreathedinme？
Thekingthatlovedhim，asthestatestoodthen，Wasforceperforcecompell’dtobanishhim：
AndthenthatHarryBolingbrokeandhe，Beingmountedandbothrousedintheirseats，Theirneighingcoursersdaringofthespur，Theirarmedstavesincharge，theirbeaversdown，TheireyesoffiresparkingthroughsightsofsteelAndtheloudtrumpetblowingthemtogether，Then，then，whentherewasnothingcouldhavestay’dMyfatherfromthebreastofBolingbroke，Owhenthekingdidthrowhiswarderdown，Hisownlifehunguponthestaffhethrew;
ThenthrewhedownhimselfandalltheirlivesThatbyindictmentandbydintofswordHavesincemiscarriedunderBolingbroke。WESTMORELANDYouspeak，LordMowbray，nowyouknownotwhat。
TheEarlofHerefordwasreputedthenInEnglandthemostvaliantgentlemen：
Whoknowsonwhomfortunewouldthenhavesmiled？
Butifyourfatherhadbeenvictorthere，Hene’erhadborneitoutofCoventry：
ForallthecountryinageneralvoiceCriedhateuponhim;andalltheirprayersandloveWeresetonHereford，whomtheydotedonAndbless’dandgracedindeed，morethantheking。
Butthisismeredigressionfrommypurpose。
HerecomeIfromourprincelygeneralToknowyourgriefs;totellyoufromhisgraceThathewillgiveyouaudience;andwhereinItshallappearthatyourdemandsarejust，Youshallenjoythem，everythingsetoffThatmightsomuchasthinkyouenemies。MOWBRAYButhehathforcedustocompelthisoffer;
Anditproceedsfrompolicy，notlove。WESTMORELANDMowbray，youoverweentotakeitso;
Thisoffercomesfrommercy，notfromfear：
For，lo！withinakenourarmylies，Uponminehonour，alltooconfidentTogiveadmittancetoathoughtoffear。
Ourbattleismorefullofnamesthanyours，Ourmenmoreperfectintheuseofarms，Ourarmourallasstrong，ourcausethebest;
ThenreasonwillourheartshouldbeasgoodSayyounotthenourofferiscompell’d。MOWBRAYWell，bymywillweshalladmitnoparley。WESTMORELANDThatarguesbuttheshameofyouroffence：
Arottencaseabidesnohandling。HASTINGSHaththePrinceJohnafullcommission，Inveryamplevirtueofhisfather，TohearandabsolutelytodetermineOfwhatconditionsweshallstandupon？WESTMORELANDThatisintendedinthegeneral’sname：
Imuseyoumakesoslightaquestion。ARCHBISHOPOFYORKThentake，myLordofWestmoreland，thisschedule，Forthiscontainsourgeneralgrievances：
Eachseveralarticlehereinredress’d，Allmembersofourcause，bothhereandhence，Thatareinsinew’dtothisaction，AcquittedbyatruesubstantialformAndpresentexecutionofourwillsTousandtoourpurposesconfined，WecomewithinourawfulbanksagainAndknitourpowerstothearmofpeace。WESTMORELANDThiswillIshowthegeneral。Pleaseyou，lords，Insightofbothourbattleswemaymeet;
Andeitherendinpeace，whichGodsoframe！
OrtotheplaceofdifferencecalltheswordsWhichmustdecideit。ARCHBISHOPOFYORKMylord，wewilldoso。
ExitWESTMORELANDMOWBRAYThereisathingwithinmybosomtellsmeThatnoconditionsofourpeacecanstand。HASTINGSFearyounotthat：ifwecanmakeourpeaceUponsuchlargetermsandsoabsoluteAsourconditionsshallconsistupon，Ourpeaceshallstandasfirmasrockymountains。MOWBRAYYea，butourvaluationshallbesuchThateveryslightandfalse—derivedcause，Yea，everyidle，niceandwantonreasonShalltothekingtasteofthisaction;
That，wereourroyalfaithsmartyrsinlove，Weshallbewinnow’dwithsoroughawindThatevenourcornshallseemaslightaschaffAndgoodfrombadfindnopartition。ARCHBISHOPOFYORKNo，no，mylord。Notethis;thekingiswearyOfdaintyandsuchpickinggrievances：
ForhehathfoundtoendonedoubtbydeathRevivestwogreaterintheheirsoflife，AndthereforewillhewipehistablescleanAndkeepnotell—taletohismemoryThatmayrepeatandhistoryhislossTonewremembrance;forfullwellheknowsHecannotsopreciselyweedthislandAshismisdoubtspresentoccasion：
HisfoesaresoenrootedwithhisfriendsThat，pluckingtounfixanenemy，Hedothunfastensoandshakeafriend：
Sothatthisland，likeanoffensivewifeThathathenragedhimontoofferstrokes，Asheisstriking，holdshisinfantupAndhangsresolvedcorrectioninthearmThatwasuprear’dtoexecution。HASTINGSBesides，thekinghathwastedallhisrodsOnlateoffenders，thathenowdothlackTheveryinstrumentsofchastisement：
Sothathispower，liketoafanglesslion，Mayoffer，butnothold。ARCHBISHOPOFYORK’Tisverytrue：
Andthereforebeassured，mygoodlordmarshal，Ifwedonowmakeouratonementwell，Ourpeacewill，likeabrokenlimbunited，Growstrongerforthebreaking。MOWBRAYBeitso。
Hereisreturn’dmyLordofWestmoreland。
Re—enterWESTMORELANDWESTMORELANDTheprinceishereathand：pleasethyourlordshipTomeethisgracejustdistance’tweenourarmies。MOWBRAYYourgraceofYork，inGod’snamethen，setforward。ARCHBISHOPOFYORKBefore，andgreethisgrace：mylord，wecome。
ExeuntSCENEII。Anotherpartoftheforest。Enter，fromoneside，MOWBRAY，attended;afterwardstheARCHBISHOPOFYORK，HASTINGS，andothers：fromtheotherside，PrinceJohnofLANCASTER，andWESTMORELAND;Officers，andotherswiththemLANCASTERYouarewellencounter’dhere，mycousinMowbray：
Gooddaytoyou，gentlelordarchbishop;
Andsotoyou，LordHastings，andtoall。
MyLordofYork，itbettershow’dwithyouWhenthatyourflock，assembledbythebell，EncircledyoutohearwithreverenceYourexpositionontheholytextThannowtoseeyouhereanironman，Cheeringaroutofrebelswithyourdrum，Turningthewordtoswordandlifetodeath。
Thatmanthatsitswithinamonarch’sheart，Andripensinthesunshineofhisfavour，Wouldheabusethecountenanceoftheking，Alack，whatmischiefsmighthesetabroochInshadowofsuchgreatness！Withyou，lordbishop，Itisevenso。WhohathnothearditspokenHowdeepyouwerewithinthebooksofGod？
Tousthespeakerinhisparliament;
ToustheimaginedvoiceofGodhimself;
TheveryopenerandintelligencerBetweenthegrace，thesanctitiesofheavenAndourdullworkings。O，whoshallbelieveButyoumisusethereverenceofyourplace，Employthecountenanceandgraceofheaven，Asafalsefavouritedothhisprince’sname，Indeedsdishonourable？Youhaveta’enup，UnderthecounterfeitedzealofGod，Thesubjectsofhissubstitute，myfather，AndbothagainstthepeaceofheavenandhimHavehereup—swarm’dthem。ARCHBISHOPOFYORKGoodmyLordofLancaster，Iamnothereagainstyourfather’speace;
But，asItoldmylordofWestmoreland，Thetimemisorder’ddoth，incommonsense，Crowdusandcrushustothismonstrousform，Toholdoursafetyup。IsentyourgraceTheparcelsandparticularsofourgrief，Thewhichhathbeenwithscornshovedfromthecourt，WhereonthisHydrasonofwarisborn;
Whosedangerouseyesmaywellbecharm’dasleepWithgrantofourmostjustandrightdesires，Andtrueobedience，ofthismadnesscured，Stooptamelytothefootofmajesty。MOWBRAYIfnot，wereadyaretotryourfortunesTothelastman。HASTINGSAndthoughweherefalldown，Wehavesuppliestosecondourattempt：
Iftheymiscarry，theirsshallsecondthem;
AndsosuccessofmischiefshallbebornAndheirfromheirshallholdthisquarrelupWhilesEnglandshallhavegeneration。LANCASTERYouaretooshallow，Hastings，muchtooshallow，Tosoundthebottomoftheafter—times。WESTMORELANDPleasethyourgracetoanswerthemdirectlyHowfarforthyoudoliketheirarticles。LANCASTERIlikethemall，anddoallowthemwell，Andswearhere，bythehonourofmyblood，Myfather’spurposeshavebeenmistook，AndsomeabouthimhavetoolavishlyWrestedhismeaningandauthority。
Mylord，thesegriefsshallbewithspeedredress’d;
Uponmysoul，theyshall。Ifthismaypleaseyou，Dischargeyourpowersuntotheirseveralcounties，Aswewillours：andherebetweenthearmiesLet’sdrinktogetherfriendlyandembrace，ThatalltheireyesmaybearthosetokenshomeOfourrestoredloveandamity。ARCHBISHOPOFYORKItakeyourprincelywordfortheseredresses。LANCASTERIgiveityou，andwillmaintainmyword：
AndthereuponIdrinkuntoyourgrace。HASTINGSGo，captain，anddelivertothearmyThisnewsofpeace：letthemhavepay，andpart：
Iknowitwillwellpleasethem。Hiethee，captain。
ExitOfficerARCHBISHOPOFYORKToyou，mynobleLordofWestmoreland。WESTMORELANDIpledgeyourgrace;and，ifyouknewwhatpainsIhavebestow’dtobreedthispresentpeace，Youwoulddrinkfreely：butmylovetoyeShallshowitselfmoreopenlyhereafter。ARCHBISHOPOFYORKIdonotdoubtyou。WESTMORELANDIamgladofit。
Healthtomylordandgentlecousin，Mowbray。MOWBRAYYouwishmehealthinveryhappyseason;
ForIam，onthesudden，somethingill。ARCHBISHOPOFYORKAgainstillchancesmenareevermerry;
Butheavinessforerunsthegoodevent。WESTMORELANDThereforebemerry，coz;sincesuddensorrowServestosaythus，’somegoodthingcomesto—morrow。’ARCHBISHOPOFYORKBelieveme，Iampassinglightinspirit。MOWBRAYSomuchtheworse，ifyourownrulebetrue。
ShoutswithinLANCASTERThewordofpeaceisrender’d：hark，howtheyshout！MOWBRAYThishadbeencheerfulaftervictory。ARCHBISHOPOFYORKApeaceisofthenatureofaconquest;
Forthenbothpartiesnoblyaresubdued，Andneitherpartyloser。LANCASTERGo，mylord，Andletourarmybedischargedtoo。
ExitWESTMORELAND
And，goodmylord，sopleaseyou，letourtrainsMarch，byus，thatwemayperusethemenWeshouldhavecopedwithal。ARCHBISHOPOFYORKGo，goodLordHastings，And，eretheybedismissed，letthemmarchby。
ExitHASTINGSLANCASTERItrust，lords，weshalllieto—nighttogether。
Re—enterWESTMORELAND
Now，cousin，whereforestandsourarmystill？WESTMORELANDTheleaders，havingchargefromyoutostand，Willnotgooffuntiltheyhearyouspeak。LANCASTERTheyknowtheirduties。
Re—enterHASTINGSHASTINGSMylord，ourarmyisdispersedalready;
Likeyouthfulsteersunyoked，theytaketheircoursesEast，west，north，south;or，likeaschoolbrokeup，Eachhurriestowardhishomeandsporting—place。WESTMORELANDGoodtidings，myLordHastings;forthewhichIdoarrestthee，traitor，ofhightreason：
Andyou，lordarchbishop，andyou，LordMowbray，OfcapitoltreasonIattachyouboth。MOWBRAYIsthisproceedingjustandhonourable？WESTMORELANDIsyourassemblyso？ARCHBISHOPOFYORKWillyouthusbreakyourfaith？LANCASTERIpawn’dtheenone：
IpromisedyouredressofthesesamegrievancesWhereofyoudidcomplain;which，byminehonour，IwillperformwithamostChristiancare。
Butforyou，rebels，looktotastethedueMeetforrebellionandsuchactsasyours。
Mostshallowlydidyouthesearmscommence，Fondlybroughthereandfoolishlysenthence。
Strikeupourdrums，pursuethescatter’dstray：
God，andnotwe，hathsafelyfoughtto—day。
Someguardthesetraitorstotheblockofdeath，Treason’struebedandyielderupofbreath。
ExeuntSCENEIII。Anotherpartoftheforest。Alarum。Excursions。EnterFALSTAFFandCOLEVILE，meetingFALSTAFFWhat’syourname，sir？ofwhatconditionareyou，andofwhatplace，Ipray？COLEVILEIamaknight，sir，andmynameisColevileofthedale。FALSTAFFWell，then，Colevileisyourname，aknightisyourdegree，andyourplacethedale：Colevileshallbestillyourname，atraitoryourdegree，andthedungeonyourplace，aplacedeepenough;soshallyoubestillColevileofthedale。COLEVILEArenotyouSirJohnFalstaff？FALSTAFFAsgoodamanashe，sir，whoe’erIam。
Doyeyield，sir？orshallIsweatforyou？ifIdosweat，theyarethedropsofthylovers，andtheyweepforthydeath：thereforerouseupfearandtrembling，anddoobservancetomymercy。COLEVILEIthinkyouareSirJohnFalstaff，andinthatthoughtyieldme。FALSTAFFIhaveawholeschooloftonguesinthisbellyofmine，andnotatongueofthemallspeaksanyotherwordbutmyname。AnIhadbutabellyofanyindifference，IweresimplythemostactivefellowinEurope：mywomb，mywomb，mywomb，undoesme。
Herecomesourgeneral。
EnterPRINCEJOHNOFLANCASTER，WESTMORELAND，BLUNT，andothersLANCASTERTheheatispast;follownofurthernow：
Callinthepowers，goodcousinWestmoreland。
ExitWESTMORELAND
Now，Falstaff，wherehaveyoubeenallthiswhile？
Wheneverythingisended，thenyoucome：
Thesetardytricksofyourswill，onmylife，Onetimeorotherbreaksomegallows’back。FALSTAFFIwouldbesorry，mylord，butitshouldbethus：I
neverknewyetbutrebukeandchequewastherewardofvalour。Doyouthinkmeaswallow，anarrow，orabullet？haveI，inmypoorandoldmotion，theexpeditionofthought？Ihavespeededhitherwiththeveryextremestinchofpossibility;Ihavefounderedninescoreandoddposts：andhere，travel—taintedasIam，haveinmypureandimmaculatevalour，takenSirJohnColevileofthedale，amostfuriousknightandvalorousenemy。