EnterMORTONNORTHUMBERLANDYea，thisman’sbrow，liketoatitle—leaf，Foretellsthenatureofatragicvolume：
SolooksthestrandwhereontheimperiousfloodHathleftawitness’dusurpation。
Say，Morton，didstthoucomefromShrewsbury？MORTONIranfromShrewsbury，mynoblelord;
WherehatefuldeathputonhisugliestmaskTofrightourparty。NORTHUMBERLANDHowdothmysonandbrother？
Thoutremblest;andthewhitenessinthycheekIsapterthanthytonguetotellthyerrand。
Evensuchaman，sofaint，sospiritless，Sodull，sodeadinlook，sowoe—begone，DrewPriam’scurtaininthedeadofnight，AndwouldhavetoldhimhalfhisTroywasburnt;
ButPriamfoundthefireerehehistongue，AndImyPercy’sdeatherethoureport’stit。
Thisthouwouldstsay，’Yoursondidthusandthus;
Yourbrotherthus：sofoughtthenobleDouglas：’
Stoppingmygreedyearwiththeirbolddeeds：
Butintheend，tostopmyearindeed，Thouhastasightoblowawaythispraise，Endingwith’Brother，son，andallaredead。’MORTONDouglasisliving，andyourbrother，yet;
But，formylordyourson——NORTHUMBERLANDWhy，heisdead。
Seewhatareadytonguesuspicionhath！
HethatbutfearsthethinghewouldnotknowHathbyinstinctknowledgefromothers’eyesThatwhathefear’dischanced。Yetspeak，Morton;
Tellthouanearlhisdivinationlies，AndIwilltakeitasasweetdisgraceAndmaketheerichfordoingmesuchwrong。MORTONYouaretoogreattobebymegainsaid：
Yourspiritistootrue，yourfearstoocertain。NORTHUMBERLANDYet，forallthis，saynotthatPercy’sdead。
Iseeastrangeconfessioninthineeye：
Thoushakestthyheadandhold’stitfearorsinTospeakatruth。Ifhebeslain，sayso;
Thetongueoffendsnotthatreportshisdeath：
Andhedothsinthatdothbeliethedead，Nothewhichsaysthedeadisnotalive。
YetthefirstbringerofunwelcomenewsHathbutalosingoffice，andhistongueSoundseverafterasasullenbell，Remember’dtollingadepartingfriend。LORDBARDOLPHIcannotthink，mylord，yoursonisdead。MORTONIamsorryIshouldforceyoutobelieveThatwhichIwouldtoGodIhadnotseen;
Butthesemineeyessawhiminbloodystate，Renderingfaintquittance，weariedandout—breathed，ToHarryMonmouth;whoseswiftwrathbeatdownThenever—dauntedPercytotheearth，Fromwhencewithlifehenevermoresprungup。
Infew，hisdeath，whosespiritlentafireEventothedullestpeasantinhiscamp，Beingbruitedonce，tookfireandheatawayFromthebesttemper’dcourageinhistroops;
Forfromhismetalwashispartysteel’d;
Whichonceinhimabated，alltherestTurn’donthemselves，likedullandheavylead：
Andasthethingthat’sheavyinitself，Uponenforcementflieswithgreatestspeed，Sodidourmen，heavyinHotspur’sloss，LendtothisweightsuchlightnesswiththeirfearThatarrowsflednotswiftertowardtheiraimThandidoursoldiers，aimingattheirsafety，Flyfromthefield。ThenwasthenobleWorcesterToosoonta’enprisoner;andthatfuriousScot，ThebloodyDouglas，whosewell—labouringswordHadthreetimesslaintheappearanceoftheking，’GanvailhisstomachanddidgracetheshameOfthosethatturn’dtheirbacks，andinhisflight，Stumblinginfear，wastook。ThesumofallIsthatthekinghathwon，andhathsentoutAspeedypowertoencounteryou，mylord，UndertheconductofyoungLancasterAndWestmoreland。Thisisthenewsatfull。NORTHUMBERLANDForthisIshallhavetimeenoughtomourn。
Inpoisonthereisphysic;andthesenews，Havingbeenwell，thatwouldhavemademesick，Beingsick，haveinsomemeasuremademewell：
Andasthewretch，whosefever—weaken’djoints，Likestrengthlesshinges，buckleunderlife，Impatientofhisfit，breakslikeafireOutofhiskeeper’sarms，evensomylimbs，Weaken’dwithgrief，beingnowenragedwithgrief，Arethricethemselves。Hence，therefore，thounicecrutch！
AscalygauntletnowwithjointsofsteelMustglovethishand：andhence，thousicklyquoif！
ThouartaguardtoowantonfortheheadWhichprinces，flesh’dwithconquest，aimtohit。
Nowbindmybrowswithiron;andapproachTheragged’sthourthattimeandspitedarebringTofrownupontheenragedNorthumberland！
Letheavenkissearth！nowletnotNature’shandKeepthewildfloodconfined！letorderdie！
AndletthisworldnolongerbeastageTofeedcontentioninalingeringact;
Butletonespiritofthefirst—bornCainReigninallbosoms，that，eachheartbeingsetOnbloodycourses，therudescenemayend，Anddarknessbetheburierofthedead！TRAVERSThisstrainedpassiondothyouwrong，mylord。LORDBARDOLPHSweetearl，divorcenotwisdomfromyourhonour。MORTONThelivesofallyourlovingcomplicesLeanonyourhealth;thewhich，ifyougiveo’erTostormypassion，mustperforcedecay。
Youcasttheeventofwar，mynoblelord，Andsumm’dtheaccountofchance，beforeyousaid’Letusmakehead。’Itwasyourpresurmise，That，inthedoleofblows，yoursonmightdrop：
Youknewhewalk’do’erperils，onanedge，Morelikelytofallinthantogeto’er;
YouwereadvisedhisfleshwascapableOfwoundsandscarsandthathisforwardspiritWouldlifthimwheremosttradeofdangerranged：
Yetdidyousay’Goforth;’andnoneofthis，Thoughstronglyapprehended，couldrestrainThestiff—borneaction：whathaththenbefallen，Orwhathaththisboldenterprisebroughtforth，Morethanthatbeingwhichwasliketobe？LORDBARDOLPHWeallthatareengagedtothislossKnewthatweventuredonsuchdangerousseasThatifwewroughtourlife’twastentoone;
Andyetweventured，forthegainproposedChokedtherespectoflikelyperilfear’d;
Andsinceweareo’erset，ventureagain。
Come，wewillallputforth，bodyandgoods。MORTON’Tismorethantime：and，mymostnoblelord，Ihearforcertain，anddospeakthetruth，ThegentleArchbishopofYorkisupWithwell—appointedpowers：heisamanWhowithadoublesuretybindshisfollowers。
Mylordyoursonhadonlybutthecorpse，Butshadowsandtheshowsofmen，tofight;
Forthatsameword，rebellion，diddivideTheactionoftheirbodiesfromtheirsouls;
Andtheydidfightwithqueasiness，constrain’d，Asmendrinkpotions，thattheirweaponsonlySeem’donourside;but，fortheirspiritsandsouls，Thisword，rebellion，ithadfrozethemup，Asfishareinapond。ButnowthebishopTurnsinsurrectiontoreligion：
Supposedsincereandholyinhisthoughts，He’sfollowedbothwithbodyandwithmind;
AnddothenlargehisrisingwiththebloodOffairKingRichard，scrapedfromPomfretstones;
Derivesfromheavenhisquarrelandhiscause;
Tellsthemhedothbestrideableedingland，GaspingforlifeundergreatBolingbroke;
Andmoreandlessdoflocktofollowhim。NORTHUMBERLANDIknewofthisbefore;but，tospeaktruth，Thispresentgriefhadwipeditfrommymind。
Goinwithme;andcounseleverymanTheaptestwayforsafetyandrevenge：
Getpostsandletters，andmakefriendswithspeed：
Neversofew，andneveryetmoreneed。
ExeuntSCENEII。London。Astreet。EnterFALSTAFF，withhisPagebearinghisswordandbucklerFALSTAFFSirrah，yougiant，whatsaysthedoctortomywater？PageHesaid，sir，thewateritselfwasagoodhealthywater;but，forthepartythatowedit，hemighthavemorediseasesthanheknewfor。FALSTAFFMenofallsortstakeapridetogirdatme：thebrainofthisfoolish—compoundedclay，man，isnotabletoinventanythingthattendstolaughter，morethanIinventorisinventedonme：Iamnotonlywittyinmyself，butthecausethatwitisinothermen。Idoherewalkbeforetheelikeasowthathathoverwhelmedallherlitterbutone。Iftheprinceputtheeintomyserviceforanyotherreasonthantosetmeoff，whythenIhavenojudgment。
Thouwhoresonmandrake，thouartfittertobeworninmycapthantowaitatmyheels。Iwasnevermannedwithanagatetillnow：butIwillinsetyouneitheringoldnorsilver，butinvileapparel，andsendyoubackagaintoyourmaster，forajewel，——
thejuvenal，theprinceyourmaster，whosechinisnotyetfledged。Iwillsoonerhaveabeardgrowinthepalmofmyhandthanheshallgetoneonhischeek;andyethewillnotsticktosayhisfaceisaface—royal：Godmayfinishitwhenhewill，’tisnotahairamissyet：hemaykeepitstillataface—royal，forabarbershallneverearnsixpenceoutofit;andyethe’llbecrowingasifhehadwritmaneversincehisfatherwasabachelor。
Hemaykeephisowngrace，buthe’salmostoutofmine，Icanassurehim。WhatsaidMasterDombledonaboutthesatinformyshortcloakandmyslops？PageHesaid，sir，youshouldprocurehimbetterassurancethanBardolph：hewouldnottakehisbandandyours;helikednotthesecurity。FALSTAFFLethimbedamned，liketheglutton！prayGodhistonguebehotter！AwhoresonAchitophel！arascallyyea—forsoothknave！tobearagentlemaninhand，andthenstanduponsecurity！Thewhoresonsmooth—patesdonowwearnothingbuthighshoes，andbunchesofkeysattheirgirdles;andifamanisthroughwiththeminhonesttakingup，thentheymuststanduponsecurity。Ihadaslieftheywouldputratsbaneinmymouthasoffertostopitwithsecurity。Ilookeda’shouldhavesentmetwoandtwentyyardsofsatin，asIamatrueknight，andhesendsmesecurity。Well，hemaysleepinsecurity;
forhehaththehornofabundance，andthelightnessofhiswifeshinesthroughit：andyetcannothesee，thoughhehavehisownlanthorntolighthim。
Where’sBardolph？PageHe’sgoneintoSmithfieldtobuyyourworshipahorse。FALSTAFFIboughthiminPaul’s，andhe’llbuymeahorseinSmithfield：anIcouldgetmebutawifeinthestews，Iweremanned，horsed，andwived。
EntertheLordChief—JusticeandServantPageSir，herecomesthenoblemanthatcommittedthePrinceforstrikinghimaboutBardolph。FALSTAFFWait，close;Iwillnotseehim。
LordChief—JusticeWhat’shethatgoesthere？ServantFalstaff，an’tpleaseyourlordship。
LordChief—JusticeHethatwasinquestionfortherobbery？ServantHe，mylord：buthehathsincedonegoodserviceatShrewsbury;and，asIhear，isnowgoingwithsomechargetotheLordJohnofLancaster。
LordChief—JusticeWhat，toYork？Callhimbackagain。ServantSirJohnFalstaff！FALSTAFFBoy，tellhimIamdeaf。PageYoumustspeaklouder;mymasterisdeaf。
LordChief—JusticeIamsureheis，tothehearingofanythinggood。
Go，pluckhimbytheelbow;Imustspeakwithhim。ServantSirJohn！FALSTAFFWhat！ayoungknave，andbegging！Istherenotwars？istherenotemployment？dothnotthekinglacksubjects？donottherebelsneedsoldiers？
Thoughitbeashametobeonanysidebutone，itisworseshametobegthantobeontheworstside，wereitworsethanthenameofrebellioncantellhowtomakeit。ServantYoumistakeme，sir。FALSTAFFWhy，sir，didIsayyouwereanhonestman？settingmyknighthoodandmysoldiershipaside，Ihadliedinmythroat，ifIhadsaidso。ServantIprayyou，sir，thensetyourknighthoodandoursoldiershipaside;andgivemeleavetotellyou，youlieinyourthroat，ifyousayIamanyotherthananhonestman。FALSTAFFIgivetheeleavetotellmeso！Ilayasidethatwhichgrowstome！ifthougettestanyleaveofme，hangme;ifthoutakestleave，thouwertbetterbehanged。Youhuntcounter：hence！avaunt！ServantSir，mylordwouldspeakwithyou。
LordChief—JusticeSirJohnFalstaff，awordwithyou。FALSTAFFMygoodlord！Godgiveyourlordshipgoodtimeofday。Iamgladtoseeyourlordshipabroad：I
heardsayyourlordshipwassick：Ihopeyourlordshipgoesabroadbyadvice。Yourlordship，thoughnotcleanpastyouryouth，hathyetsomesmackofageinyou，somerelishofthesaltnessoftime;andImusthumblybeseechyourlordshiptohaveareverentcareofyourhealth。
LordChief—JusticeSirJohn，IsentforyoubeforeyourexpeditiontoShrewsbury。FALSTAFFAn’tpleaseyourlordship，IhearhismajestyisreturnedwithsomediscomfortfromWales。
LordChief—JusticeItalknotofhismajesty：
youwouldnotcomewhenIsentforyou。FALSTAFFAndIhear，moreover，hishighnessisfallenintothissamewhoresonapoplexy。
LordChief—JusticeWell，Godmendhim！Iprayyou，letmespeakwithyou。FALSTAFFThisapoplexyis，asItakeit，akindoflethargy，an’tpleaseyourlordship;akindofsleepingintheblood，awhoresontingling。
LordChief—JusticeWhattellyoumeofit？beitasitis。FALSTAFFIthathitsoriginalfrommuchgrief，fromstudyandperturbationofthebrain：IhavereadthecauseofhiseffectsinGalen：itisakindofdeafness。
LordChief—JusticeIthinkyouarefallenintothedisease;foryouhearnotwhatIsaytoyou。FALSTAFFVerywell，mylord，verywell：rather，an’tpleaseyou，itisthediseaseofnotlistening，themaladyofnotmarking，thatIamtroubledwithal。
LordChief—JusticeTopunishyoubytheheelswouldamendtheattentionofyourears;andIcarenotifIdobecomeyourphysician。FALSTAFFIamaspoorasJob，mylord，butnotsopatient：
yourlordshipmayministerthepotionofimprisonmenttomeinrespectofpoverty;buthowshouldIbeyourpatienttofollowyourprescriptions，thewisemaymakesomedramofascruple，orindeedascrupleitself。
LordChief—JusticeIsentforyou，whenthereweremattersagainstyouforyourlife，tocomespeakwithme。FALSTAFFAsIwasthenadvisedbymylearnedcounselinthelawsofthisland—service，Ididnotcome。
LordChief—JusticeWell，thetruthis，SirJohn，youliveingreatinfamy。FALSTAFFHethatbuckleshiminmybeltcannotliveinless。
LordChief—JusticeYourmeansareveryslender，andyourwasteisgreat。FALSTAFFIwoulditwereotherwise;Iwouldmymeansweregreater，andmywaistslenderer。
LordChief—JusticeYouhavemisledtheyouthfulprince。FALSTAFFTheyoungprincehathmisledme：Iamthefellowwiththegreatbelly，andhemydog。
LordChief—JusticeWell，Iamloathtogallanew—healedwound：yourday’sserviceatShrewsburyhathalittlegildedoveryournight’sexploitonGad’s—hill：youmaythanktheunquiettimeforyourquieto’er—postingthataction。FALSTAFFMylord？
LordChief—JusticeButsincealliswell，keepitso：wakenotasleepingwolf。FALSTAFFTowakeawolfisasbadastosmellafox。
LordChief—JusticeWhat！youareasacandle，thebetterpartburntout。FALSTAFFAwassailcandle，mylord，alltallow：
ifIdidsayofwax，mygrowthwouldapprovethetruth。
LordChief—JusticeThereisnotawhitehaironyourfacebutshouldhavehiseffectofgravity。FALSTAFFHiseffectofgravy，gravy，gravy。
LordChief—JusticeYoufollowtheyoungprinceupanddown，likehisillangel。FALSTAFFNotso，mylord;yourillangelislight;
butIhopehethatlooksuponmewilltakemewithoutweighing：
andyet，insomerespects，Igrant，Icannotgo：I
cannottell。Virtueisofsolittleregardinthesecostermongertimesthattruevalouristurnedbear—herd：pregnancyismadeatapster，andhathhisquickwitwastedingivingreckonings：alltheothergiftsappertinenttoman，asthemaliceofthisageshapesthem，arenotworthagooseberry。
Youthatareoldconsidernotthecapacitiesofusthatareyoung;youdomeasuretheheatofourliverswiththebitternessofyourgalls：andwethatareinthevawardofouryouth，Imustconfess，arewagstoo。
LordChief—JusticeDoyousetdownyournameinthescrollofyouth，thatarewrittendownoldwithallthecharactersofage？Haveyounotamoisteye？adryhand？ayellowcheek？awhitebeard？adecreasingleg？
anincreasingbelly？isnotyourvoicebroken？yourwindshort？yourchindouble？yourwitsingle？
andeverypartaboutyoublastedwithantiquity？
andwillyouyetcallyourselfyoung？Fie，fie，fie，SirJohn！FALSTAFFMylord，Iwasbornaboutthreeoftheclockintheafternoon，withawhiteheadandsomethingaroundbelly。Formyvoice，Ihavelostitwithhalloingandsingingofanthems。Toapprovemyyouthfurther，Iwillnot：thetruthis，Iamonlyoldinjudgmentandunderstanding;andhethatwillcaperwithmeforathousandmarks，lethimlendmethemoney，andhaveathim！Fortheboxoftheearthattheprincegaveyou，hegaveitlikearudeprince，andyoutookitlikeasensiblelord。Ihavechequedhimforit，andtheyounglionrepents;
marry，notinashesandsackcloth，butinnewsilkandoldsack。
LordChief—JusticeWell，Godsendtheprinceabettercompanion！FALSTAFFGodsendthecompanionabetterprince！
Icannotridmyhandsofhim。
LordChief—JusticeWell，thekinghathseveredyouandPrinceHarry：I
hearyouaregoingwithLordJohnofLancasteragainsttheArchbishopandtheEarlofNorthumberland。FALSTAFFYea;Ithankyourprettysweetwitforit。Butlookyoupray，allyouthatkissmyladyPeaceathome，thatourarmiesjoinnotinahotday;for，bytheLord，Itakebuttwoshirtsoutwithme，andImeannottosweatextraordinarily：ifitbeahotday，andIbrandishanythingbutabottle，IwouldI
mightneverspitwhiteagain。ThereisnotadangerousactioncanpeepouthisheadbutI
amthrustuponit：well，Icannotlastever：butitwasalwayyetthetrickofourEnglishnation，iftheyhaveagoodthing，tomakeittoocommon。
IfyewillneedssayIamanoldman，youshouldgivemerest。IwouldtoGodmynamewerenotsoterribletotheenemyasitis：Iwerebettertobeeatentodeathwitharustthantobescouredtonothingwithperpetualmotion。
LordChief—JusticeWell，behonest，behonest;
andGodblessyourexpedition！FALSTAFFWillyourlordshiplendmeathousandpoundtofurnishmeforth？
LordChief—JusticeNotapenny，notapenny;
youaretooimpatienttobearcrosses。Fareyouwell：commendmetomycousinWestmoreland。
ExeuntChief—JusticeandServantFALSTAFFIfIdo，fillipmewithathree—manbeetle。
Amancannomoreseparateageandcovetousnessthana’
canpartyounglimbsandlechery：butthegoutgallstheone，andthepoxpinchestheother;
andsoboththedegreespreventmycurses。Boy！PageSir？FALSTAFFWhatmoneyisinmypurse？PageSevengroatsandtwopence。FALSTAFFIcangetnoremedyagainstthisconsumptionofthepurse：borrowingonlylingersandlingersitout，butthediseaseisincurable。GobearthislettertomyLordofLancaster;thistotheprince;
thistotheEarlofWestmoreland;andthistooldMistressUrsula，whomIhaveweeklysworntomarrysinceIperceivedthefirstwhitehaironmychin。
Aboutit：youknowwheretofindme。
ExitPageApoxofthisgout！or，agoutofthispox！fortheoneortheotherplaystheroguewithmygreattoe。’TisnomatterifIdohalt;Ihavethewarsformycolour，andmypensionshallseemthemorereasonable。Agoodwitwillmakeuseofanything：
Iwillturndiseasestocommodity。
ExitSCENEIII。York。TheArchbishop’spalace。EntertheARCHBISHOPOFYORK，theLordsHASTINGS，MOWBRAY，andBARDOLPHARCHBISHOPOFYORKThushaveyouheardourcauseandknownourmeans;
And，mymostnoblefriends，Iprayyouall，Speakplainlyyouropinionsofourhopes：
Andfirst，lordmarshal，whatsayyoutoit？MOWBRAYIwellallowtheoccasionofourarms;
ButgladlywouldbebettersatisfiedHowinourmeansweshouldadvanceourselvesTolookwithforeheadboldandbigenoughUponthepowerandpuissanceoftheking。HASTINGSOurpresentmustersgrowuponthefileTofiveandtwentythousandmenofchoice;
AndoursupplieslivelargelyinthehopeOfgreatNorthumberland，whosebosomburnsWithanincensedfireofinjuries。LORDBARDOLPHThequestionthen，LordHastings，standeththus;
WhetherourpresentfiveandtwentythousandMayholdupheadwithoutNorthumberland？HASTINGSWithhim，wemay。LORDBARDOLPHYea，marry，there’sthepoint：
Butifwithouthimwebethoughttoofeeble，Myjudgmentis，weshouldnotsteptoofarTillwehadhisassistancebythehand;
Forinathemesobloody—facedasthisConjecture，expectation，andsurmiseOfaidsincertainshouldnotbeadmitted。ARCHBISHOPOFYORK’Tisverytrue，LordBardolph;forindeedItwasyoungHotspur’scaseatShrewsbury。LORDBARDOLPHItwas，mylord;wholinedhimselfwithhope，Eatingtheaironpromiseofsupply，FlatteringhimselfinprojectofapowerMuchsmallerthanthesmallestofhisthoughts：
Andso，withgreatimaginationPropertomadmen，ledhispowerstodeathAndwinkingleap’dintodestruction。HASTINGSBut，byyourleave，itneveryetdidhurtTolaydownlikelihoodsandformsofhope。LORDBARDOLPHYes，ifthispresentqualityofwar，Indeedtheinstantaction：acauseonfootLivessoinhopeasinanearlyspringWeseetheappearingbuds;whichtoprovefruit，HopegivesnotsomuchwarrantasdespairThatfrostswillbitethem。Whenwemeantobuild，Wefirstsurveytheplot，thendrawthemodel;
Andwhenweseethefigureofthehouse，Thenmustweratethecostoftheerection;
Whichifwefindoutweighsability，WhatdowethenbutdrawanewthemodelInfeweroffices，oratlastdesistTobuildatall？Muchmore，inthisgreatwork，WhichisalmosttopluckakingdomdownAndsetanotherup，shouldwesurveyTheplotofsituationandthemodel，Consentuponasurefoundation，Questionsurveyors，knowourownestate，Howablesuchaworktoundergo，Toweighagainsthisopposite;orelseWefortifyinpaperandinfigures，Usingthenamesofmeninsteadofmen：
LikeonethatdrawsthemodelofahouseBeyondhispowertobuildit;who，halfthrough，Giveso’erandleaveshispart—createdcostAnakedsubjecttotheweepingcloudsAndwasteforchurlishwinter’styranny。HASTINGSGrantthatourhopes，yetlikelyoffairbirth，Shouldbestill—born，andthatwenowpossess’dTheutmostmanofexpectation，Ithinkweareabodystrongenough，Evenasweare，toequalwiththeking。LORDBARDOLPHWhat，isthekingbutfiveandtwentythousand？HASTINGSTousnomore;nay，notsomuch，LordBardolph。
Forhisdivisions，asthetimesdobrawl，Areinthreeheads：onepoweragainsttheFrench，AndoneagainstGlendower;perforceathirdMusttakeupus：soistheunfirmkingInthreedivided;andhiscofferssoundWithhollowpovertyandemptiness。ARCHBISHOPOFYORKThatheshoulddrawhisseveralstrengthstogetherAndcomeagainstusinfullpuissance，Neednotbedreaded。HASTINGSIfheshoulddoso，Heleaveshisbackunarm’d，theFrenchandWelshBayinghimattheheels：neverfearthat。LORDBARDOLPHWhoisitlikeshouldleadhisforceshither？HASTINGSTheDukeofLancasterandWestmoreland;
AgainsttheWelsh，himselfandHarryMonmouth：
Butwhoissubstituted’gainsttheFrench，Ihavenocertainnotice。ARCHBISHOPOFYORKLetuson，Andpublishtheoccasionofourarms。
Thecommonwealthissickoftheirownchoice;
Theirover—greedylovehathsurfeited：
AnhabitationgiddyandunsureHathhethatbuildethonthevulgarheart。
Othoufondmany，withwhatloudapplauseDidstthoubeatheavenwithblessingBolingbroke，Beforehewaswhatthouwouldsthavehimbe！
Andbeingnowtrimm’dinthineowndesires，Thou，beastlyfeeder，artsofullofhim，Thatthouprovokestthyselftocasthimup。
So，so，thoucommondog，didstthoudisgorgeThygluttonbosomoftheroyalRichard;
Andnowthouwouldsteatthydeadvomitup，Andhowl’sttofindit。Whattrustisinthesetimes？
Theythat，whenRichardlived，wouldhavehimdie，Arenowbecomeenamour’donhisgrave：
Thou，thatthrew’stdustuponhisgoodlyheadWhenthroughproudLondonhecamesighingonAftertheadmiredheelsofBolingbroke，Criestnow’Oearth，yieldusthatkingagain，Andtakethouthis！’Othoughtsofmenaccursed！
Pastandtocomeseemsbest;thingspresentworst。MOWBRAYShallwegodrawournumbersandseton？HASTINGSWearetime’ssubjects，andtimebidsbegone。
ExeuntACTIISCENEI。London。Astreet。EnterMISTRESSQUICKLY，FANGandhisBoywithher，andSNARE
following。MISTRESSQUICKLYMasterFang，haveyouenteredtheaction？FANGItisentered。MISTRESSQUICKLYWhere’syouryeoman？Is’talustyyeoman？
willa’
standto’t？FANGSirrah，where’sSnare？MISTRESSQUICKLYOLord，ay！goodMasterSnare。SNAREHere，here。FANGSnare，wemustarrestSirJohnFalstaff。MISTRESSQUICKLYYea，goodMasterSnare;Ihaveenteredhimandall。SNAREItmaychancecostsomeofusourlives，forhewillstab。MISTRESSQUICKLYAlastheday！takeheedofhim;hestabbedmeinmineownhouse，andthatmostbeastly：ingoodfaith，hecaresnotwhatmischiefhedoes。Ifhisweaponbeout：hewillfoinlikeanydevil;hewillspareneitherman，woman，norchild。FANGIfIcanclosewithhim，Icarenotforhisthrust。MISTRESSQUICKLYNo，norIneither：I’llbeatyourelbow。FANGAnIbutfisthimonce;ana’comebutwithinmyvice，——MISTRESSQUICKLYIamundonebyhisgoing;Iwarrantyou，he’saninfinitivethinguponmyscore。GoodMasterFang，holdhimsure：goodMasterSnare，lethimnot’scape。A’comescontinuantlytoPie—corner——savingyourmanhoods——tobuyasaddle;andheisinditedtodinnertotheLubber’s—headinLumbertstreet，toMasterSmooth’sthesilkman：Iprayye，sincemyexionisenteredandmycasesoopenlyknowntotheworld，lethimbebroughtintohisanswer。A
hundredmarkisalongoneforapoorlonewomantobear：andIhaveborne，andborne，andborne，andhavebeenfubbedoff，andfubbedoff，andfubbedoff，fromthisdaytothatday，thatitisashametobethoughton。Thereisnohonestyinsuchdealing;unlessawomanshouldbemadeanassandabeast，tobeareveryknave’swrong。Yonderhecomes;andthaterrantmalmsey—noseknave，Bardolph，withhim。Doyouroffices，doyouroffices：MasterFangandMasterSnare，dome，dome，domeyouroffices。
EnterFALSTAFF，Page，andBARDOLPHFALSTAFFHownow！whosemare’sdead？what’sthematter？FANGSirJohn，IarrestyouatthesuitofMistressQuickly。FALSTAFFAway，varlets！Draw，Bardolph：cutmeoffthevillain’shead：throwthequeaninthechannel。MISTRESSQUICKLYThrowmeinthechannel！I’llthrowtheeinthechannel。Wiltthou？wiltthou？thoubastardlyrogue！Murder，murder！Ah，thouhoneysucklevillain！wiltthoukillGod’sofficersandtheking’s？Ah，thouhoney—seedrogue！thouartahoney—seed，aman—queller，andawoman—queller。FALSTAFFKeepthemoff，Bardolph。FANGArescue！arescue！MISTRESSQUICKLYGoodpeople，bringarescueortwo。Thouwo’t，wo’tthou？Thouwo’t，wo’tta？do，do，thourogue！
do，thouhemp—seed！FALSTAFFAway，youscullion！yourampallion！Youfustilarian！I’lltickleyourcatastrophe。
EntertheLordChief—Justice，andhismenLordChief—JusticeWhatisthematter？keepthepeacehere，ho！MISTRESSQUICKLYGoodmylord，begoodtome。Ibeseechyou，standtome。
LordChief—JusticeHownow，SirJohn！whatareyoubrawlinghere？
Doththisbecomeyourplace，yourtimeandbusiness？
YoushouldhavebeenwellonyourwaytoYork。
Standfromhim，fellow：whereforehang’stuponhim？MISTRESSQUICKLYOmostworshipfullord，an’tpleaseyourgrace，IamapoorwidowofEastcheap，andheisarrestedatmysuit。
LordChief—JusticeForwhatsum？MISTRESSQUICKLYItismorethanforsome，mylord;itisforall，allIhave。Hehatheatenmeoutofhouseandhome;
hehathputallmysubstanceintothatfatbellyofhis：butIwillhavesomeofitoutagain，orI
willridetheeo’nightslikethemare。FALSTAFFIthinkIamasliketoridethemare，ifIhaveanyvantageofgroundtogetup。
LordChief—JusticeHowcomesthis，SirJohn？Fie！
whatmanofgoodtemperwouldendurethistempestofexclamation？
Areyounotashamedtoenforceapoorwidowtosoroughacoursetocomebyherown？FALSTAFFWhatisthegrosssumthatIowethee？MISTRESSQUICKLYMarry，ifthouwertanhonestman，thyselfandthemoneytoo。Thoudidstsweartomeuponaparcel—giltgoblet，sittinginmyDolphin—chamber，attheroundtable，byasea—coalfire，uponWednesdayinWheesonweek，whentheprincebrokethyheadforlikinghisfathertoasinging—manofWindsor，thoudidstsweartomethen，asIwaswashingthywound，tomarrymeandmakememyladythywife。Canstthoudenyit？DidnotgoodwifeKeech，thebutcher’swife，comeinthenandcallmegossipQuickly？comingintoborrowamessofvinegar;tellingusshehadagooddishofprawns;
wherebythoudidstdesiretoeatsome;wherebyI
toldtheetheywereillforagreenwound？Anddidstthounot，whenshewasgonedownstairs，desiremetobenomoresofamiliaritywithsuchpoorpeople;sayingthaterelongtheyshouldcallmemadam？Anddidstthounotkissmeandbidmefetchtheethirtyshillings？Iputtheenowtothybook—oath：denyit，ifthoucanst。FALSTAFFMylord，thisisapoormadsoul;andshesaysupanddownthetownthattheeldestsonislikeyou：
shehathbeeningoodcase，andthetruthis，povertyhathdistractedher。Butforthesefoolishofficers，IbeseechyouImayhaveredressagainstthem。
LordChief—JusticeSirJohn，SirJohn，Iamwellacquaintedwithyourmannerofwrenchingthetruecausethefalseway。Itisnotaconfidentbrow，northethrongofwordsthatcomewithsuchmorethanimpudentsaucinessfromyou，canthrustmefromalevelconsideration：
youhave，asitappearstome，practisedupontheeasy—yieldingspiritofthiswoman，andmadeherserveyourusesbothinpurseandinperson。MISTRESSQUICKLYYea，intruth，mylord。
LordChief—JusticePraythee，peace。Payherthedebtyouoweher，andunpaythevillanyyouhavedoneher：theoneyoumaydowithsterlingmoney，andtheotherwithcurrentrepentance。FALSTAFFMylord，Iwillnotundergothissneapwithoutreply。Youcallhonourableboldnessimpudentsauciness：ifamanwillmakecourtesyandsaynothing，heisvirtuous：no，mylord，myhumbledutyremembered，Iwillnotbeyoursuitor。I
saytoyou，Idodesiredeliverancefromtheseofficers，beinguponhastyemploymentintheking’saffairs。
LordChief—JusticeYouspeakashavingpowertodowrong：butanswerintheeffectofyourreputation，andsatisfythispoorwoman。FALSTAFFComehither，hostess。
EnterGOWER
LordChief—JusticeNow，MasterGower，whatnews？GOWERTheking，mylord，andHarryPrinceofWalesArenearathand：therestthepapertells。FALSTAFFAsIamagentleman。MISTRESSQUICKLYFaith，yousaidsobefore。FALSTAFFAsIamagentleman。Come，nomorewordsofit。MISTRESSQUICKLYBythisheavenlygroundItreadon，I
mustbefaintopawnbothmyplateandthetapestryofmydining—chambers。FALSTAFFGlasses，glassesistheonlydrinking：
andforthywalls，aprettyslightdrollery，orthestoryoftheProdigal，ortheGermanhuntinginwater—work，isworthathousandofthesebed—hangingsandthesefly—bittentapestries。Letitbetenpound，ifthoucanst。Come，an’twerenotforthyhumours，there’snotabetterwenchinEngland。Go，washthyface，anddrawtheaction。Come，thoumustnotbeinthishumourwithme;dostnotknowme？come，come，I
knowthouwastsetontothis。MISTRESSQUICKLYPraythee，SirJohn，letitbebuttwentynobles：i’
faith，Iamloathtopawnmyplate，soGodsaveme，la！FALSTAFFLetitalone;I’llmakeothershift：
you’llbeafoolstill。MISTRESSQUICKLYWell，youshallhaveit，thoughIpawnmygown。I
hopeyou’llcometosupper。You’llpaymealltogether？FALSTAFFWillIlive？
ToBARDOLPH
Go，withher，withher;hookon，hookon。MISTRESSQUICKLYWillyouhaveDollTearsheetmeetyouatsupper？FALSTAFFNomorewords;let’shaveher。
ExeuntMISTRESSQUICKLY，BARDOLPH，OfficersandBoyLordChief—JusticeIhaveheardbetternews。FALSTAFFWhat’sthenews，mylord？
LordChief—JusticeWherelaythekinglastnight？GOWERAtBasingstoke，mylord。FALSTAFFIhope，mylord，all’swell：whatisthenews，mylord？
LordChief—JusticeComeallhisforcesback？GOWERNo;fifteenhundredfoot，fivehundredhorse，AremarcheduptomylordofLancaster，AgainstNorthumberlandandtheArchbishop。FALSTAFFComesthekingbackfromWales，mynoblelord？
LordChief—JusticeYoushallhavelettersofmepresently：
Come，goalongwithme，goodMasterGower。FALSTAFFMylord！
LordChief—JusticeWhat’sthematter？FALSTAFFMasterGower，shallIentreatyouwithmetodinner？GOWERImustwaituponmygoodlordhere;I
thankyou，goodSirJohn。
LordChief—JusticeSirJohn，youloiterheretoolong，beingyouaretotakesoldiersupincountiesasyougo。FALSTAFFWillyousupwithme，MasterGower？
LordChief—JusticeWhatfoolishmastertaughtyouthesemanners，SirJohn？FALSTAFFMasterGower，iftheybecomemenot，hewasafoolthattaughtthemme。Thisistherightfencinggrace，mylord;tapfortap，andsopartfair。
LordChief—JusticeNowtheLordlightenthee！
thouartagreatfool。
ExeuntSCENEII。London。Anotherstreet。EnterPRINCEHENRYandPOINSPRINCEHENRYBeforeGod，Iamexceedingweary。POINSIs’tcometothat？Ihadthoughtwearinessdurstnothaveattachedoneofsohighblood。PRINCEHENRYFaith，itdoesme;thoughitdiscoloursthecomplexionofmygreatnesstoacknowledgeit。Dothitnotshowvilelyinmetodesiresmallbeer？POINSWhy，aprinceshouldnotbesolooselystudiedastoremembersoweakacomposition。PRINCEHENRYBelikethenmyappetitewasnotprincelygot;for，bymytroth，Idonowrememberthepoorcreature，smallbeer。But，indeed，thesehumbleconsiderationsmakemeoutoflovewithmygreatness。Whatadisgraceisittometorememberthyname！ortoknowthyfaceto—morrow！ortotakenotehowmanypairofsilkstockingsthouhast，viz。these，andthosethatwerethypeach—colouredones！ortobeartheinventoryofthyshirts，as，oneforsuperfluity，andanotherforuse！Butthatthetennis—court—keeperknowsbetterthanI;foritisalowebboflinenwiththeewhenthoukeepestnotracketthere;asthouhastnotdoneagreatwhile，becausetherestofthylowcountrieshavemadeashifttoeatupthyholland：
andGodknows，whetherthosethatbawlouttheruinsofthylinenshallinherithiskingdom：butthemidwivessaythechildrenarenotinthefault;
whereupontheworldincreases，andkindredsaremightilystrengthened。POINSHowillitfollows，afteryouhavelabouredsohard，youshouldtalksoidly！Tellme，howmanygoodyoungprinceswoulddoso，theirfathersbeingsosickasyoursatthistimeis？PRINCEHENRYShallItelltheeonething，Poins？POINSYes，faith;andletitbeanexcellentgoodthing。PRINCEHENRYItshallserveamongwitsofnohigherbreedingthanthine。POINSGoto;Istandthepushofyouronethingthatyouwilltell。PRINCEHENRYMarry，Itellthee，itisnotmeetthatIshouldbesad，nowmyfatherissick：albeitIcouldtellthee，astooneitpleasesme，forfaultofabetter，tocallmyfriend，Icouldbesad，andsadindeedtoo。POINSVeryhardlyuponsuchasubject。PRINCEHENRYBythishandthouthinkestmeasfarinthedevil’sbookasthouandFalstaffforobduracyandpersistency：lettheendtrytheman。ButItellthee，myheartbleedsinwardlythatmyfatherissosick：andkeepingsuchvilecompanyasthouarthathinreasontakenfrommeallostentationofsorrow。POINSThereason？PRINCEHENRYWhatwouldstthouthinkofme，ifIshouldweep？POINSIwouldthinktheeamostprincelyhypocrite。PRINCEHENRYItwouldbeeveryman’sthought;andthouartablessedfellowtothinkaseverymanthinks：neveraman’sthoughtintheworldkeepstheroad—waybetterthanthine：everymanwouldthinkmeanhypocriteindeed。Andwhataccitesyourmostworshipfulthoughttothinkso？POINSWhy，becauseyouhavebeensolewdandsomuchengraffedtoFalstaff。PRINCEHENRYAndtothee。POINSBythislight，Iamwellspokeon;Icanhearitwithmyownears：theworstthattheycansayofmeisthatIamasecondbrotherandthatIamaproperfellowofmyhands;andthosetwothings，I
confess，Icannothelp。Bythemass，herecomesBardolph。
EnterBARDOLPHandPagePRINCEHENRYAndtheboythatIgaveFalstaff：a’hadhimfrommeChristian;andlook，ifthefatvillainhavenottransformedhimape。BARDOLPHGodsaveyourgrace！PRINCEHENRYAndyours，mostnobleBardolph！BARDOLPHCome，youvirtuousass，youbashfulfool，mustyoubeblushing？whereforeblushyounow？Whatamaidenlyman—at—armsareyoubecome！Is’tsuchamattertogetapottle—pot’smaidenhead？PageA’callsmee’ennow，mylord，througharedlattice，andIcoulddiscernnopartofhisfacefromthewindow：atlastIspiedhiseyes，andmethoughthehadmadetwoholesintheale—wife’snewpetticoatandsopeepedthrough。PRINCEHENRYHasnottheboyprofited？BARDOLPHAway，youwhoresonuprightrabbit，away！PageAway，yourascallyAlthaea’sdream，away！PRINCEHENRYInstructus，boy;whatdream，boy？PageMarry，mylord，Althaeadreamedshewasdeliveredofafire—brand;andthereforeIcallhimherdream。PRINCEHENRYAcrown’sworthofgoodinterpretation：
there’tis，boy。POINSO，thatthisgoodblossomcouldbekeptfromcankers！Well，thereissixpencetopreservethee。BARDOLPHAnyoudonotmakehimhangedamongyou，thegallowsshallhavewrong。PRINCEHENRYAndhowdoththymaster，Bardolph？BARDOLPHWell，mylord。Heheardofyourgrace’scomingtotown：there’saletterforyou。POINSDeliveredwithgoodrespect。Andhowdoththemartlemas，yourmaster？BARDOLPHInbodilyhealth，sir。POINSMarry，theimmortalpartneedsaphysician;
butthatmovesnothim：thoughthatbesick，itdiesnot。PRINCEHENRYIdoallowthiswentobeasfamiliarwithmeasmydog;andheholdshisplace;forlookyouhowbewrites。POINS[Reads]’JohnFalstaff，knight，’——everymanmustknowthat，asoftashehasoccasiontonamehimself：evenlikethosethatarekintotheking;
fortheyneverpricktheirfingerbuttheysay，’There’ssomeoftheking’sbloodspilt。’’Howcomesthat？’sayshe，thattakesuponhimnottoconceive。Theanswerisasreadyasaborrower’scap，’Iamtheking’spoorcousin，sir。’PRINCEHENRYNay，theywillbekintous，ortheywillfetchitfromJaphet。Buttotheletter。POINS[Reads]’SirJohnFalstaff，knight，tothesonoftheking，nearesthisfather，HarryPrinceofWales，greeting。’Why，thisisacertificate。PRINCEHENRYPeace！POINS[Reads]’IwillimitatethehonourableRomansinbrevity：’hesuremeansbrevityinbreath，short—winded。’Icommendmetothee，Icommendthee，andIleavethee。BenottoofamiliarwithPoins;forhemisusesthyfavourssomuch，thatheswearsthouarttomarryhissisterNell。Repentatidletimesasthoumayest;andso，farewell。
Thine，byyeaandno，whichisasmuchastosay，asthouusesthim，JACKFALSTAFFwithmyfamiliars，JOHNwithmybrothersandsisters，andSIRJOHNwithallEurope。’
Mylord，I’llsteepthisletterinsackandmakehimeatit。PRINCEHENRYThat’stomakehimeattwentyofhiswords。Butdoyouusemethus，Ned？mustImarryyoursister？POINSGodsendthewenchnoworsefortune！
ButIneversaidso。PRINCEHENRYWell，thusweplaythefoolswiththetime，andthespiritsofthewisesitinthecloudsandmockus。
IsyourmasterhereinLondon？BARDOLPHYea，mylord。PRINCEHENRYWheresupshe？doththeoldboarfeedintheoldfrank？BARDOLPHAttheoldplace，mylord，inEastcheap。PRINCEHENRYWhatcompany？PageEphesians，mylord，oftheoldchurch。PRINCEHENRYSupanywomenwithhim？PageNone，mylord，butoldMistressQuicklyandMistressDollTearsheet。PRINCEHENRYWhatpaganmaythatbe？PageApropergentlewoman，sir，andakinswomanofmymaster’s。PRINCEHENRYEvensuchkinastheparishheifersaretothetownbull。Shallwestealuponthem，Ned，atsupper？POINSIamyourshadow，mylord;I’llfollowyou。PRINCEHENRYSirrah，youboy，andBardolph，nowordtoyourmasterthatIamyetcometotown：there’sforyoursilence。BARDOLPHIhavenotongue，sir。PageAndformine，sir，Iwillgovernit。PRINCEHENRYFareyouwell;go。
ExeuntBARDOLPHandPageThisDollTearsheetshouldbesomeroad。POINSIwarrantyou，ascommonasthewaybetweenSaintAlban’sandLondon。PRINCEHENRYHowmightweseeFalstaffbestowhimselfto—nightinhistruecolours，andnotourselvesbeseen？POINSPutontwoleathernjerkinsandaprons，andwaituponhimathistableasdrawers。PRINCEHENRYFromaGodtoabull？aheavydecension！
itwasJove’scase。Fromaprincetoaprentice？alowtransformation！thatshallbemine;forineverythingthepurposemustweighwiththefolly。
Followme，Ned。
ExeuntSCENEIII。Warkworth。Beforethecastle。EnterNORTHUMBERLAND，LADYNORTHUMBERLAND，andLADYPERCYNORTHUMBERLANDIpraythee，lovingwife，andgentledaughter，Giveevenwayuntomyroughaffairs：
PutnotyouonthevisageofthetimesAndbelikethemtoPercytroublesome。
LADYNORTHUMBERLANDIhavegivenover，Iwillspeaknomore：
Dowhatyouwill;yourwisdombeyourguide。NORTHUMBERLANDAlas，sweetwife，myhonourisatpawn;
And，butmygoing，nothingcanredeemit。LADYPERCYOyet，forGod’ssake，gonottothesewars！
Thetimewas，father，thatyoubrokeyourword，Whenyouweremoreendearedtoitthannow;
WhenyourownPercy，whenmyheart’sdearHarry，ThrewmanyanorthwardlooktoseehisfatherBringuphispowers;buthedidlonginvain。
Whothenpersuadedyoutostayathome？
Thereweretwohonourslost，yoursandyourson’s。
Foryours，theGodofheavenbrightenit！
Forhis，itstuckuponhimasthesunInthegreyvaultofheaven，andbyhislightDidallthechivalryofEnglandmoveTodobraveacts：hewasindeedtheglassWhereinthenobleyouthdiddressthemselves：
Hehadnolegsthatpractisednothisgait;
Andspeakingthick，whichnaturemadehisblemish，Becametheaccentsofthevaliant;
ForthosethatcouldspeaklowandtardilyWouldturntheirownperfectiontoabuse，Toseemlikehim：sothatinspeech，ingait，Indiet，inaffectionsofdelight，Inmilitaryrules，humoursofblood，Hewasthemarkandglass，copyandbook，Thatfashion’dothers。Andhim，Owondroushim！
Omiracleofmen！himdidyouleave，Secondtonone，unsecondedbyyou，TolookuponthehideousgodofwarIndisadvantage;toabideafieldWherenothingbutthesoundofHotspur’snameDidseemdefensible：soyoulefthim。
Never，Onever，dohisghostthewrongToholdyourhonourmorepreciseandniceWithothersthanwithhim！letthemalone：
Themarshalandthearchbishoparestrong：
HadmysweetHarryhadbuthalftheirnumbers，To—daymightI，hangingonHotspur’sneck，Havetalk’dofMonmouth’sgrave。NORTHUMBERLANDBeshrewyourheart，Fairdaughter，youdodrawmyspiritsfrommeWithnewlamentingancientoversights。
ButImustgoandmeetwithdangerthere，OritwillseekmeinanotherplaceAndfindmeworseprovided。
LADYNORTHUMBERLANDO，flytoScotland，TillthatthenoblesandthearmedcommonsHaveoftheirpuissancemadealittletaste。LADYPERCYIftheygetgroundandvantageoftheking，Thenjoinyouwiththem，likearibofsteel，Tomakestrengthstronger;but，forallourloves，Firstletthemtrythemselves。Sodidyourson;
Hewassosuffer’d：socameIawidow;
AndnevershallhavelengthoflifeenoughTorainuponremembrancewithmineeyes，Thatitmaygrowandsproutashighasheaven，Forrecordationtomynoblehusband。NORTHUMBERLANDCome，come，goinwithme。’TiswithmymindAswiththetideswell’dupuntohisheight，Thatmakesastill—stand，runningneitherway：
FainwouldIgotomeetthearchbishop，Butmanythousandreasonsholdmeback。
IwillresolveforScotland：thereamI，Tilltimeandvantagecravemycompany。
ExeuntSCENEIV。London。TheBoar’s—headTaverninEastcheap。EntertwoDrawersFirstDrawerWhatthedevilhastthoubroughtthere？
apple—johns？
thouknowestSirJohncannotendureanapple—john。SecondDrawerMass，thousayesttrue。Theprinceoncesetadishofapple—johnsbeforehim，andtoldhimtherewerefivemoreSirJohns，and，puttingoffhishat，said’Iwillnowtakemyleaveofthesesixdry，round，old，witheredknights。’Itangeredhimtotheheart：buthehathforgotthat。FirstDrawerWhy，then，cover，andsetthemdown：andseeifthoucanstfindoutSneak’snoise;MistressTearsheetwouldfainhearsomemusic。Dispatch：
theroomwheretheysuppedistoohot;they’llcomeinstraight。SecondDrawerSirrah，herewillbetheprinceandMasterPoinsanon;andtheywillputontwoofourjerkinsandaprons;andSirJohnmustnotknowofit：Bardolphhathbroughtword。FirstDrawerBythemass，herewillbeoldUtis：itwillbeanexcellentstratagem。SecondDrawerI’llseeifIcanfindoutSneak。
ExitEnterMISTRESSQUICKLYandDOLLTEARSHEETMISTRESSQUICKLYI’faith，sweetheart，methinksnowyouareinanexcellentgoodtemperality：yourpulsidgebeatsasextraordinarilyasheartwoulddesire;andyourcolour，Iwarrantyou，isasredasanyrose，ingoodtruth，la！But，i’faith，youhavedrunktoomuchcanaries;andthat’samarvelloussearchingwine，anditperfumesthebloodereonecansay’What’sthis？’Howdoyounow？DOLLTEARSHEETBetterthanIwas：hem！MISTRESSQUICKLYWhy，that’swellsaid;agoodheart’sworthgold。
Lo，herecomesSirJohn。
EnterFALSTAFFFALSTAFF[Singing]’WhenArthurfirstincourt，’
——Emptythejordan。
ExitFirstDrawerSinging——’Andwasaworthyking。’Hownow，MistressDoll！MISTRESSQUICKLYSickofacalm;yea，goodfaith。FALSTAFFSoisallhersect;antheybeonceinacalm，theyaresick。DOLLTEARSHEETYoumuddyrascal，isthatallthecomfortyougiveme？FALSTAFFYoumakefatrascals，MistressDoll。DOLLTEARSHEETImakethem！gluttonyanddiseasesmakethem;I
makethemnot。FALSTAFFIfthecookhelptomakethegluttony，youhelptomakethediseases，Doll：wecatchofyou，Doll，wecatchofyou;grantthat，mypoorvirtuegrantthat。DOLLTEARSHEETYea，joy，ourchainsandourjewels。FALSTAFF’Yourbroaches，pearls，andouches：’fortoservebravelyistocomehaltingoff，youknow：tocomeoffthebreachwithhispikebentbravely，andtosurgerybravely;toventureuponthechargedchambersbravely，——DOLLTEARSHEETHangyourself，youmuddyconger，hangyourself！MISTRESSQUICKLYBymytroth，thisistheoldfashion;
youtwonevermeetbutyoufalltosomediscord：youareboth，i’goodtruth，asrheumaticastwodrytoasts;
youcannotonebearwithanother’sconfirmities。Whatthegood—year！onemustbear，andthatmustbeyou：youaretheweakervessel，astheysay，theemptiervessel。DOLLTEARSHEETCanaweakemptyvesselbearsuchahugefullhogshead？there’sawholemerchant’sventureofBourdeauxstuffinhim;youhavenotseenahulkbetterstuffedinthehold。Come，I’llbefriendswiththee，Jack：thouartgoingtothewars;andwhetherIshalleverseetheeagainorno，thereisnobodycares。