……Evenafirst-ratehorsecouldnotdoit,whilemine——youcanseeforyourself——isnotahorsebutadisgrace。’AndPavelIvanitchwillfrownandshout:’Weknowyou!Youalwaysfindsomeexcuse!Especiallyyou,Grishka;Iknowyouofold!I’llbeboundyouhavestoppedathalfadozentaverns!’AndIshallsay:’Yourhonor!amIacriminaloraheathen?MyoldwomanisgivinguphersoultoGod,sheisdying,andamIgoingtorunfromtaverntotavern!Whatanidea,uponmyword!Plaguetakethem,thetaverns!’ThenPavelIvanitchwillorderyoutobetakenintothehospital,andIshallfallathisfeet……’PavelIvanitch!Yourhonor,wethankyoumosthumbly!Forgiveusfoolsandanathemas,don’tbehardonuspeasants!Wedeserveagoodkicking,whileyougraciouslyputyourselfoutandmessyourfeetinthesnow!’AndPavelIvanitchwillgivemealookasthoughhewouldliketohitme,andwillsay:’You’dmuchbetternotbeswillingvodka,youfool,buttakingpityonyouroldwomaninsteadoffallingatmyfeet。Youwantathrashing!’’Youarerightthere——athrashing,PavelIvanitch,strikemeGod!
Buthowcanwehelpbowingdownatyourfeetifyouareourbenefactor,andarealfathertous?Yourhonor!Igiveyoumyword,……hereasbeforeGod,……youmayspitinmyfaceifIdeceiveyou:assoonasmyMatryona,thissamehere,iswellagainandrestoredtohernaturalcondition,I’llmakeanythingforyourhonorthatyouwouldliketoorder!Acigarette-case,ifyoulike,ofthebestbirchwood,……ballsforcroquet,skittlesofthemostforeignpatternIcanturn……Iwillmakeanythingforyou!Iwon’ttakeafarthingfromyou。InMoscowtheywouldchargeyoufourroublesforsuchacigarette-case,butIwon’ttakeafarthing。’Thedoctorwilllaughandsay:’Oh,allright,allright……Isee!Butit’sapityyouareadrunkard……’Iknowhowtomanagethegentry,oldgirl。Thereisn’tagentlemanIcouldn’ttalkto。OnlyGodgrantwedon’tgetofftheroad。Oh,howitisblowing!One’seyesarefullofsnow。\"
Andtheturnerwentonmutteringendlessly。Heprattledonmechanicallytogetalittlerelieffromhisdepressingfeelings。
Hehadplentyofwordsonhistongue,butthethoughtsandquestionsinhisbrainwereevenmorenumerous。Sorrowhadcomeupontheturnerunawares,unlooked-for,andunexpected,andnowhecouldnotgetoverit,couldnotrecoverhimself。Hehadlivedhithertoinunruffledcalm,asthoughindrunkenhalf-consciousness,knowingneithergriefnorjoy,andnowhewassuddenlyawareofadreadfulpaininhisheart。Thecarelessidleranddrunkardfoundhimselfquitesuddenlyinthepositionofabusyman,weigheddownbyanxietiesandhaste,andevenstrugglingwithnature。
Theturnerrememberedthathistroublehadbeguntheeveningbefore。Whenhehadcomehomeyesterdayevening,alittledrunkasusual,andfromlong-establishedhabithadbegunswearingandshakinghisfists,hisoldwomanhadlookedatherrowdyspouseasshehadneverlookedathimbefore。Usually,theexpressioninheragedeyeswasthatofamartyr,meeklikethatofadogfrequentlybeatenandbadlyfed;thistimeshehadlookedathimsternlyandimmovably,assaintsintheholypicturesordyingpeoplelook。Fromthatstrange,evillookinhereyesthetroublehadbegun。Theturner,stupefiedwithamazement,borrowedahorsefromaneighbor,andnowwastakinghisoldwomantothehospitalinthehopethat,bymeansofpowdersandointments,PavelIvanitchwouldbringbackhisoldwoman’shabitualexpression。
\"Isay,Matryona,……\"theturnermuttered,\"ifPavelIvanitchasksyouwhetherIbeatyou,say,’Never!’andIneverwillbeatyouagain。Iswearit。AnddidIeverbeatyououtofspite?I
justbeatyouwithoutthinking。Iamsorryforyou。Somemenwouldn’ttrouble,buthereIamtakingyou……Iamdoingmybest。Andthewayitsnows,thewayitsnows!ThyWillbedone,O
Lord!Godgrantwedon’tgetofftheroad……Doesyoursideache,Matryona,thatyoudon’tspeak?Iaskyou,doesyoursideache?\"
Itstruckhimasstrangethatthesnowonhisoldwoman’sfacewasnotmelting;itwasqueerthatthefaceitselflookedsomehowdrawn,andhadturnedapalegray,dingywaxenhueandhadgrowngraveandsolemn。
\"Youareafool!\"mutteredtheturner……\"Itellyouonmyconscience,beforeGod,……andyougoand……Well,youareafool!IhaveagoodmindnottotakeyoutoPavelIvanitch!\"
Theturnerletthereinsgoandbeganthinking。Hecouldnotbringhimselftolookroundathisoldwoman:hewasfrightened。
Hewasafraid,too,ofaskingheraquestionandnotgettingananswer。Atlast,tomakeanendofuncertainty,withoutlookingroundhefelthisoldwoman’scoldhand。Theliftedhandfelllikealog。
\"Sheisdead,then!Whatabusiness!\"
Andtheturnercried。Hewasnotsomuchsorryasannoyed。Hethoughthowquicklyeverythingpassesinthisworld!Histroublehadhardlybegunwhenthefinalcatastrophehadhappened。Hehadnothadtimetolivewithhisoldwoman,toshowherhewassorryforherbeforeshedied。Hehadlivedwithherforfortyyears,butthosefortyyearshadpassedbyasitwereinafog。
Whatwithdrunkenness,quarreling,andpoverty,therehadbeennofeelingoflife。And,asthoughtospitehim,hisoldwomandiedattheverytimewhenhefelthewassorryforher,thathecouldnotlivewithouther,andthathehadbehaveddreadfullybadlytoher。
\"Why,sheusedtogotheroundofthevillage,\"heremembered。\"I
sentheroutmyselftobegforbread。Whatabusiness!Sheoughttohavelivedanothertenyears,thesillything;asitisI’llbeboundshethinksIreallywasthatsortofman……HolyMother!butwherethedevilamIdriving?There’snoneedforadoctornow,butaburial。Turnback!\"
Grigoryturnedbackandlashedthehorsewithallhismight。Theroadgrewworseandworseeveryhour。Nowhecouldnotseetheyokeatall。Nowandthenthesledgeranintoayoungfirtree,adarkobjectscratchedtheturner’shandsandflashedbeforehiseyes,andthefieldofvisionwaswhiteandwhirlingagain。
\"Toliveoveragain,\"thoughttheturner。
HerememberedthatfortyyearsagoMatryonahadbeenyoung,handsome,merry,thatshehadcomeofawell-to-dofamily。Theyhadmarriedhertohimbecausetheyhadbeenattractedbyhishandicraft。Alltheessentialsforahappylifehadbeenthere,butthetroublewasthat,justashehadgotdrunkaftertheweddingandlaysprawlingonthestove,sohehadgoneonwithoutwakinguptillnow。Hisweddingheremembered,butofwhathappenedafterthewedding——forthelifeofhimhecouldremembernothing,exceptperhapsthathehaddrunk,lainonthestove,andquarreled。Fortyyearshadbeenwastedlikethat。
Thewhitecloudsofsnowwerebeginninglittlebylittletoturngray。Itwasgettingdusk。
\"WhereamIgoing?\"theturnersuddenlybethoughthimwithastart。\"Ioughttobethinkingoftheburial,andIamonthewaytothehospital……ItasisthoughIhadgonecrazy。\"
Grigoryturnedroundagain,andagainlashedhishorse。Thelittlenagstraineditsutmostand,withasnort,fellintoalittletrot。Theturnerlasheditonthebacktimeaftertime……Aknockingwasaudiblebehindhim,andthoughhedidnotlookround,heknewitwasthedeadwoman’sheadknockingagainstthesledge。Andthesnowkeptturningdarkeranddarker,thewindgrewcolderandmorecutting……
\"Toliveoveragain!\"thoughttheturner。\"Ishouldgetanewlathe,takeorders,……givethemoneytomyoldwoman……\"
Andthenhedroppedthereins。Helookedforthem,triedtopickthemup,butcouldnot——hishandswouldnotwork……
\"Itdoesnotmatter,\"hethought,\"thehorsewillgoofitself,itknowstheway。Imighthavealittlesleepnow……Beforethefuneralortherequiemitwouldbeaswelltogetalittlerest……\"
Theturnerclosedhiseyesanddozed。Alittlelaterheheardthehorsestop;heopenedhiseyesandsawbeforehimsomethingdarklikeahutorahaystack……
Hewouldhavegotoutofthesledgeandfoundoutwhatitwas,buthefeltovercomebysuchinertiathatitseemedbettertofreezethanmove,andhesankintoapeacefulsleep。
Hewokeupinabigroomwithpaintedwalls。Brightsunlightwasstreaminginatthewindows。Theturnersawpeoplefacinghim,andhisfirstfeelingwasadesiretoshowhimselfarespectablemanwhoknewhowthingsshouldbedone。
\"Arequiem,brothers,formyoldwoman,\"hesaid。\"Thepriestshouldbetold……\"
\"Oh,allright,allright;liedown,\"avoicecuthimshort。
\"PavelIvanitch!\"theturnercriedinsurprise,seeingthedoctorbeforehim。\"Yourhonor,benefactor!\"
Hewantedtoleapupandfallonhiskneesbeforethedoctor,butfeltthathisarmsandlegswouldnotobeyhim。
\"Yourhonor,wherearemylegs,wherearemyarms!\"
\"Saygood-bytoyourarmsandlegs……They’vebeenfrozenoff。Come,come!……Whatareyoucryingfor?You’velivedyourlife,andthankGodforit!Isupposeyouhavehadsixtyyearsofit——that’senoughforyou!……\"
\"Iamgrieving……Graciouslyforgiveme!IfIcouldhaveanotherfiveorsixyears!……\"
\"Whatfor?\"
\"Thehorseisn’tmine,Imustgiveitback……Imustburymyoldwoman……Howquicklyitisallendedinthisworld!Yourhonor,PavelIvanitch!Acigarette-caseofbirchwoodofthebest!
I’llturnyoucroquetballs……\"
Thedoctorwentoutofthewardwithawaveofhishand。Itwasalloverwiththeturner。
ONOFFICIALDUTY
THEdeputyexaminingmagistrateandthedistrictdoctorweregoingtoaninquestinthevillageofSyrnya。Ontheroadtheywereovertakenbyasnowstorm;theyspentalongtimegoingroundandround,andarrived,notatmidday,astheyhadintended,butintheeveningwhenitwasdark。TheyputupforthenightattheZemstvohut。Itsohappenedthatitwasinthishutthatthedeadbodywaslying——thecorpseoftheZemstvoinsuranceagent,Lesnitsky,whohadarrivedinSyrnyathreedaysbeforeand,orderingthesamovarinthehut,hadshothimself,tothegreatsurpriseofeveryone;andthefactthathehadendedhislifesostrangely,afterunpackinghiseatablesandlayingthemoutonthetable,andwiththesamovarbeforehim,ledmanypeopletosuspectthatitwasacaseofmurder;aninquestwasnecessary。
Intheouterroomthedoctorandtheexaminingmagistrateshookthesnowoffthemselvesandknockeditofftheirboots。Andmeanwhiletheoldvillageconstable,IlyaLoshadin,stoodby,holdingalittletinlamp。Therewasastrongsmellofparaffin。
\"Whoareyou?\"askedthedoctor。
\"Conshtable,……\"answeredtheconstable。
Heusedtospellit\"conshtable\"whenhesignedthereceiptsatthepostoffice。
\"Andwherearethewitnesses?\"
\"Theymusthavegonetotea,yourhonor。\"
Ontherightwastheparlor,thetravelers’orgentry’sroom;ontheleftthekitchen,withabigstoveandsleepingshelvesundertherafters。Thedoctorandtheexaminingmagistrate,followedbytheconstable,holdingthelamphighabovehishead,wentintotheparlor。Hereastill,longbodycoveredwithwhitelinenwaslyingonthefloorclosetothetable-legs。Inthedimlightofthelamptheycouldclearlysee,besidesthewhitecovering,newrubbergoloshes,andeverythingaboutitwasuncannyandsinister:thedarkwalls,andthesilence,andthegoloshes,andthestillnessofthedeadbody。Onthetablestoodasamovar,coldlongago;androunditparcels,probablytheeatables。
\"ToshootoneselfintheZemstvohut,howtactless!\"saidthedoctor。\"Ifonedoeswanttoputabulletthroughone’sbrains,oneoughttodoitathomeinsomeouthouse。\"
Hesankontoabench,justashewas,inhiscap,hisfurcoat,andhisfeltoverboots;hisfellow-traveler,theexaminingmagistrate,satdownopposite。
\"Thesehysterical,neurasthenicpeoplearegreategoists,\"thedoctorwentonhotly。\"Ifaneurasthenicsleepsinthesameroomwithyou,herustleshisnewspaper;whenhedineswithyou,hegetsupascenewithhiswifewithouttroublingaboutyourpresence;andwhenhefeelsinclinedtoshoothimself,heshootshimselfinavillageinaZemstvohut,soastogivethemaximumoftroubletoeverybody。Thesegentlemenineverycircumstanceoflifethinkofnoonebutthemselves!That’swhytheelderlysodislikeour’nervousage。’\"
\"Theelderlydislikesomanythings,\"saidtheexaminingmagistrate,yawning。\"Youshouldpointouttotheeldergenerationwhatthedifferenceisbetweenthesuicidesofthepastandthesuicidesofto-day。Intheolddaystheso-calledgentlemanshothimselfbecausehehadmadeawaywithGovernmentmoney,butnowadaysitisbecauseheissickoflife,depressed……Whichisbetter?\"
\"Sickoflife,depressed;butyoumustadmitthathemighthaveshothimselfsomewhereelse。\"
\"Suchtrouble!\"saidtheconstable,\"suchtrouble!It’sarealaffliction。Thepeopleareverymuchupset,yourhonor;theyhaven’tsleptthesethreenights。Thechildrenarecrying。Thecowsoughttobemilked,butthewomenwon’tgotothestall——
theyareafraid……forfearthegentlemanshouldappeartotheminthedarkness。Ofcoursetheyaresillywomen,butsomeofthemenarefrightenedtoo。Assoonasitisdarktheywon’tgobythehutonebyone,butonlyinaflocktogether。Andthewitnessestoo……\"
Dr。Startchenko,amiddle-agedmaninspectacleswithadarkbeard,andtheexaminingmagistrateLyzhin,afairman,stillyoung,whohadonlytakenhisdegreetwoyearsbeforeandlookedmorelikeastudentthananofficial,satinsilence,musing。
Theywerevexedthattheywerelate。Nowtheyhadtowaittillmorning,andtostayhereforthenight,thoughitwasnotyetsixo’clock;andtheyhadbeforethemalongevening,adarknight,boredom,uncomfortablebeds,beetles,andcoldinthemorning;andlisteningtotheblizzardthathowledinthechimneyandintheloft,theyboththoughthowunlikeallthiswasthelifewhichtheywouldhavechosenforthemselvesandofwhichtheyhadoncedreamed,andhowfarawaytheybothwerefromtheircontemporaries,whowereatthatmomentwalkingaboutthelightedstreetsintownwithoutnoticingtheweather,orweregettingreadyforthetheatre,orsittingintheirstudiesoverabook。Oh,howmuchtheywouldhavegivennowonlytostrollalongtheNevskyProspect,oralongPetrovkainMoscow,tolistentodecentsinging,tositforanhourorsoinarestaurant!
\"Oo-oo-oo-oo!\"sangthestormintheloft,andsomethingoutsideslammedviciously,probablythesignboardonthehut。
\"Oo-oo-oo-oo!\"
\"Youcandoasyouplease,butIhavenodesiretostayhere,\"
saidStartchenko,gettingup。\"It’snotsixyet,it’stooearlytogotobed;Iamoff。VonTaunitzlivesnotfarfromhere,onlyacoupleofmilesfromSyrnya。Ishallgotoseehimandspendtheeveningthere。Constable,runandtellmycoachmannottotakethehorsesout。Andwhatareyougoingtodo?\"heaskedLyzhin。
\"Idon’tknow;IexpectIshallgotosleep。\"
Thedoctorwrappedhimselfinhisfurcoatandwentout。Lyzhincouldhearhimtalkingtothecoachmanandthebellsbeginningtoquiveronthefrozenhorses。Hedroveoff。
\"Itisnotniceforyou,sir,tospendthenightinhere,\"saidtheconstable;\"comeintotheotherroom。It’sdirty,butforonenightitwon’tmatter。I’llgetasamovarfromapeasantandheatitdirectly。I’llheapupsomehayforyou,andthenyougotosleep,andGodblessyou,yourhonor。\"
Alittlelatertheexaminingmagistratewassittinginthekitchendrinkingtea,whileLoshadin,theconstable,wasstandingatthedoortalking。Hewasanoldmanaboutsixty,shortandverythin,bentandwhite,withanaivesmileonhisfaceandwateryeyes,andhekeptsmackingwithhislipsasthoughheweresuckingasweetmeat。Hewaswearingashortsheepskincoatandhighfeltboots,andheldhisstickinhishandsallthetime。Theyouthoftheexaminingmagistratearousedhiscompassion,andthatwasprobablywhyheaddressedhimfamiliarly。
\"Theeldergaveordersthathewastobeinformedwhenthepolicesuperintendentortheexaminingmagistratecame,\"hesaid,\"soI
supposeImustgonow……It’snearlythreemilestothe_volost_,andthestorm,thesnowdrifts,aresomethingterrible——maybeonewon’tgettherebeforemidnight。Ough!howthewindroars!\"
\"Idon’tneedtheelder,\"saidLyzhin。\"Thereisnothingforhimtodohere。\"
Helookedattheoldmanwithcuriosity,andasked:
\"Tellme,grandfather,howmanyyearshaveyoubeenconstable?\"
\"Howmany?Why,thirtyyears。FiveyearsaftertheFreedomI
begangoingasconstable,that’showIreckonit。AndfromthattimeIhavebeengoingeverydaysince。Otherpeoplehaveholidays,butIamalwaysgoing。Whenit’sEasterandthechurchbellsareringingandChristhasrisen,Istillgoaboutwithmybag——tothetreasury,tothepost,tothepolicesuperintendent’slodgings,totheruralcaptain,tothetaxinspector,tothemunicipaloffice,tothegentry,tothepeasants,toallorthodoxChristians。Icarryparcels,notices,taxpapers,letters,formsofdifferentsorts,circulars,andtobesure,kindgentleman,thereareallsortsofformsnowadays,soastonotedownthenumbers——yellow,white,andred——andeverygentlemanorpriestorwell-to-dopeasantmustwritedownadozentimesintheyearhowmuchhehassownandharvested,howmanyquartersorpoodshehasofrye,howmanyofoats,howmanyofhay,andwhattheweather’slike,youknow,andinsects,too,ofallsorts。Tobesureyoucanwritewhatyoulike,it’sonlyaregulation,butonemustgoandgiveoutthenoticesandthengoagainandcollectthem。Here,forinstance,there’snoneedtocutopenthegentleman;youknowyourselfit’sasillything,it’sonlydirtyingyourhands,andhereyouhavebeenputtotrouble,yourhonor;youhavecomebecauseit’stheregulation;
youcan’thelpit。ForthirtyyearsIhavebeengoingroundaccordingtoregulation。Inthesummeritisallright,itiswarmanddry;butinwinterandautumnit’suncomfortableAttimesIhavebeenalmostdrownedandalmostfrozen;allsortsofthingshavehappened——wickedpeoplesetonmeintheforestandtookawaymybag;Ihavebeenbeaten,andIhavebeenbeforeacourtoflaw。\"
\"Whatwereyouaccusedof?\"
\"Offraud。\"
\"Howdoyoumean?\"
\"Why,yousee,HrisanfGrigoryev,theclerk,soldthecontractorsomeboardsbelongingtosomeoneelse——cheatedhim,infact。I
wasmixedupinit。Theysentmetothetavernforvodka;well,theclerkdidnotsharewithme——didnotevenoffermeaglass;
butasthroughmypovertyIwas——inappearance,Imean——notamantobereliedupon,notamanofanyworth,wewerebothbroughttotrial;hewassenttoprison,but,praiseGod!Iwasacquittedonallpoints。Theyreadanotice,youknow,inthecourt。Andtheywereallinuniforms——inthecourt,Imean。I
cantellyou,yourhonor,mydutiesforanyonenotusedtothemareterrible,absolutelykilling;buttomeitisnothing。Infact,myfeetachewhenIamnotwalking。Andathomeitisworseforme。Athomeonehastoheatthestovefortheclerkinthe_volost_office,tofetchwaterforhim,tocleanhisboots。\"
\"Andwhatwagesdoyouget?\"Lyzhinasked。
\"Eighty-fourroublesayear。\"
\"I’llbetyougetotherlittlesumscomingin。Youdo,don’tyou?\"
\"Otherlittlesums?No,indeed!Gentlemennowadaysdon’toftengivetips。Gentlemennowadaysarestrict,theytakeoffenseatanything。Ifyoubringthemanoticetheyareoffended,ifyoutakeoffyourcapbeforethemtheyareoffended。’Youhavecometothewrongentrance,’theysay。’Youareadrunkard,’theysay。
’Yousmellofonion;youareablockhead;youarethesonofabitch。’Therearekind-heartedones,ofcourse;butwhatdoesonegetfromthem?Theyonlylaughandcalloneallsortsofnames。
Mr。Altuhin,forinstance,heisagood-naturedgentleman;andifyoulookathimheseemssoberandinhisrightmind,butsosoonasheseesmeheshoutsanddoesnotknowwhathemeanshimself。
Hegavemesuchaname’You,’saidhe,……\"Theconstableutteredsomeword,butinsuchalowvoicethatitwasimpossibletomakeoutwhathesaid。
\"What?\"Lyzhinasked。\"Sayitagain。\"
\"’Administration,’\"theconstablerepeatedaloud。\"Hehasbeencallingmethatforalongwhile,forthelastsixyears。’Hullo,Administration!’ButIdon’tmind;lethim,Godblesshim!
Sometimesaladywillsendoneaglassofvodkaandabitofpieandonedrinkstoherhealth。Butpeasantsgivemore;peasantsaremorekind-hearted,theyhavethefearofGodintheirhearts:
onewillgiveabitofbread,anotheradropofcabbagesoup,anotherwillstandoneaglass。Thevillageelderstreatonetoteainthetavern。Herethewitnesseshavegonetotheirtea。
’Loshadin,’theysaid,’youstayhereandkeepwatchforus,’andtheygavemeakopeckeach。Yousee,theyarefrightened,notbeingusedtoit,andyesterdaytheygavemefifteenkopecksandofferedmeaglass。\"
\"Andyou,aren’tyoufrightened?\"
\"Iam,sir;butofcourseitismyduty,thereisnogettingawayfromit。InthesummerIwastakingaconvicttothetown,andhesetuponmeandgavemesuchadrubbing!Andallaroundwerefields,forest——howcouldIgetawayfromhim?It’sjustthesamehere。Irememberthegentleman,Mr。Lesnitsky,whenhewassohigh,andIknewhisfatherandmother。IamfromthevillageofNedoshtchotova,andthey,theLesnitskyfamily,werenotmorethanthree-quartersofamilefromusandlessthanthat,theirgroundnexttoours,andMr。Lesnitskyhadasister,aGod-fearingandtender-heartedlady。LordkeepthesoulofThyservantYulya,eternalmemorytoher!Shewasnevermarried,andwhenshewasdyingshedividedallherproperty;
sheleftthreehundredacrestothemonastery,andsixhundredtothecommuneofpeasantsofNedoshtchotovatocommemoratehersoul;butherbrotherhidthewill,theydosayburntitinthestove,andtookallthislandforhimself。Hethought,tobesure,itwasforhisbenefit;but——nay,waitabit,youwon’tgetonintheworldthroughinjustice,brother。Thegentlemandidnotgotoconfessionfortwentyyearsafter。Hekeptawayfromthechurch,tobesure,anddiedimpenitent。Heburst。Hewasaveryfatman,soheburstlengthways。Theneverythingwastakenfromtheyoungmaster,fromSeryozha,topaythedebts——everythingtherewas。Well,hehadnotgoneveryfarinhisstudies,hecouldn’tdoanything,andthepresidentoftheRuralBoard,hisuncle——’I’lltakehim’——Seryozha,I
mean——thinkshe,’foranagent;lethimcollecttheinsurance,that’snotadifficultjob,’andthegentlemanwasyoungandproud,hewantedtobelivingonabiggerscaleandinbetterstyleandwithmorefreedom。Tobesureitwasacome-downforhimtobejoltingaboutthedistrictinawretchedcartandtalkingtothepeasants;hewouldwalkandkeeplookingontheground,lookingonthegroundandsayingnothing;ifyoucalledhisnamerightinhisear,’SergeySergeyitch!’hewouldlookroundlikethis,’Eh?’andlookdownonthegroundagain,andnowyouseehehaslaidhandsonhimself。There’snosenseinit,yourhonor,it’snotright,andthere’snomakingoutwhat’sthemeaningofit,mercifulLord!Sayyourfatherwasrichandyouarepoor;itismortifying,there’snodoubtaboutit,butthere,youmustmakeupyourmindtoit。Iusedtoliveingoodstyle,too;Ihadtwohorses,yourhonor,threecows,Iusedtokeeptwentyheadofsheep;butthetimehascome,andIamleftwithnothingbutawretchedbag,andeventhatisnotminebutGovernmentproperty。AndnowinourNedoshtchotova,ifthetruthistobetold,myhouseistheworstofthelot。Makeyhadfourfootmen,andnowMakeyisafootmanhimself。Petrakhadfourlaborers,andnowPetrakisalaborerhimself。\"
\"Howwasityoubecamepoor?\"askedtheexaminingmagistrate。
\"Mysonsdrinkterribly。Icouldnottellyouhowtheydrink,youwouldn’tbelieveit。\"
Lyzhinlistenedandthoughthowhe,Lyzhin,wouldgobacksoonerorlatertoMoscow,whilethisoldmanwouldstayhereforever,andwouldalwaysbewalkingandwalking。Andhowmanytimesinhislifehewouldcomeacrosssuchbattered,unkemptoldmen,not\"menofanyworth,\"inwhosesoulsfifteenkopecks,glassesofvodka,andaprofoundbeliefthatyoucan’tgetoninthislifebydishonesty,wereequallyfirmlyrooted。
Thenhegrewtiredoflistening,andtoldtheoldmantobringhimsomehayforhisbed,Therewasanironbedsteadwithapillowandaquiltinthetraveler’sroom,anditcouldbefetchedin;butthedeadmanhadbeenlyingbyitfornearlythreedays(andperhapssittingonitjustbeforehisdeath),anditwouldbedisagreeabletosleepuponitnow……
\"It’sonlyhalf-pastseven,\"thoughtLyzhin,glancingathiswatch。\"Howawfulitis!\"
Hewasnotsleepy,buthavingnothingtodotopassawaythetime,helaydownandcoveredhimselfwitharug。Loshadinwentinandoutseveraltimes,clearingawaythetea-things;smackinghislipsandsighing,hekepttrampingroundthetable;atlasthetookhislittlelampandwentout,and,lookingathislong,gray-headed,bentfigurefrombehind,Lyzhinthought:
\"Justlikeamagicianinanopera。\"
Itwasdark。Themoonmusthavebeenbehindtheclouds,asthewindowsandthesnowonthewindow-framescouldbeseendistinctly。
\"Oo-oo-oo!\"sangthestorm,\"Oo-oo-oo-oo!\"
\"Ho-ho-lysa-aints!\"wailedawomanintheloft,oritsoundedlikeit。\"Ho-ho-lysa-aints!\"
\"B-booh!\"somethingoutsidebangedagainstthewall。\"Trah!\"
Theexaminingmagistratelistened:therewasnowomanupthere,itwasthewindhowling。Itwasrathercold,andheputhisfurcoatoverhisrug。Ashegotwarmhethoughthowremoteallthis——thestorm,andthehut,andtheoldman,andthedeadbodylyinginthenextroom——howremoteitallwasfromthelifehedesiredforhimself,andhowalienitallwastohim,howpetty,howuninteresting。IfthismanhadkilledhimselfinMoscoworsomewhereintheneighborhood,andhehadhadtoholdaninquestonhimthere,itwouldhavebeeninteresting,important,andperhapshemightevenhavebeenafraidtosleepinthenextroomtothecorpse。Here,nearlyathousandmilesfromMoscow,allthiswasseensomehowinadifferentlight;itwasnotlife,theywerenothumanbeings,butsomethingonlyexisting\"accordingtotheregulation,\"asLoshadinsaid;itwouldleavenotthefaintesttraceinthememory,andwouldbeforgottenassoonashe,Lyzhin,droveawayfromSyrnya。Thefatherland,therealRussia,wasMoscow,Petersburg;butherehewasintheprovinces,thecolonies。Whenonedreamedofplayingaleadingpart,ofbecomingapopularfigure,ofbeing,forinstance,examiningmagistrateinparticularlyimportantcasesorprosecutorinacircuitcourt,ofbeingasocietylion,onealwaysthoughtofMoscow。Tolive,onemustbeinMoscow;hereonecaredfornothing,onegreweasilyresignedtoone’sinsignificantposition,andonlyexpectedonethingoflife——
togetawayquickly,quickly。AndLyzhinmentallymovedabouttheMoscowstreets,wentintothefamiliarhouses,methiskindred,hiscomrades,andtherewasasweetpangathisheartatthethoughtthathewasonlytwenty-six,andthatifinfiveortenyearshecouldbreakawayfromhereandgettoMoscow,eventhenitwouldnotbetoolateandhewouldstillhaveawholelifebeforehim。Andashesankintounconsciousness,ashisthoughtsbegantobeconfused,heimaginedthelongcorridorofthecourtatMoscow,himselfdeliveringaspeech,hissisters,theorchestrawhichforsomereasonkeptdroning:\"Oo-oo-oo-oo!
Oo-oooo-oo!\"
\"Booh!Trah!\"soundedagain。\"Booh!\"
Andhesuddenlyrecalledhowoneday,whenhewastalkingtothebookkeeperinthelittleofficeoftheRuralBoard,athin,palegentlemanwithblackhairanddarkeyeswalkedin;hehadadisagreeablelookinhiseyessuchasoneseesinpeoplewhohaveslepttoolongafterdinner,anditspoilthisdelicate,intelligentprofile;andthehighbootshewaswearingdidnotsuithim,butlookedclumsy。Thebookkeeperhadintroducedhim:
\"Thisisourinsuranceagent。\"
\"SothatwasLesnitsky,……thissameman,\"Lyzhinreflectednow。
HerecalledLesnitsky’ssoftvoice,imaginedhisgait,anditseemedtohimthatsomeonewaswalkingbesidehimnowwithasteplikeLesnitsky’s。
Allatoncehefeltfrightened,hisheadturnedcold。
\"Who’sthere?\"heaskedinalarm。
\"Theconshtable!\"
\"Whatdoyouwanthere?\"
\"Ihavecometoask,yourhonor——yousaidthiseveningthatyoudidnotwanttheelder,butIamafraidhemaybeangry。Hetoldmetogotohim。Shouldn’tIgo?\"
\"That’senough,youbotherme,\"saidLyzhinwithvexation,andhecoveredhimselfupagain。
\"Hemaybeangry……I’llgo,yourhonor。Ihopeyouwillbecomfortable,\"andLoshadinwentout。
Inthepassagetherewascoughingandsubduedvoices。Thewitnessesmusthavereturned。
\"We’llletthosepoorbeggarsgetawayearlyto-morrow,……\"
thoughttheexaminingmagistrate;\"we’llbegintheinquestassoonasitisdaylight。\"
Hebegansinkingintoforgetfulnesswhensuddenlytherewerestepsagain,nottimidthistimebutrapidandnoisy。Therewastheslamofadoor,voices,thescratchingofamatch……
\"Areyouasleep?Areyouasleep?\"Dr。Startchenkowasaskinghimhurriedlyandangrilyashestruckonematchafteranother;hewascoveredwithsnow,andbroughtachillairinwithhim。\"Areyouasleep?Getup!LetusgotoVonTaunitz’s。Hehassenthisownhorsesforyou。Comealong。There,atanyrate,youwillhavesupper,andsleeplikeahumanbeing。YouseeIhavecomeforyoumyself。Thehorsesaresplendid,weshallgetthereintwentyminutes。\"
\"Andwhattimeisitnow?\"
\"Aquarterpastten。\"
Lyzhin,sleepyanddiscontented,putonhisfeltoverboots,hisfurlinedcoat,hiscapandhood,andwentoutwiththedoctor。
Therewasnotaverysharpfrost,butaviolentandpiercingwindwasblowinganddrivingalongthestreetthecloudsofsnowwhichseemedtoberacingawayinterror:highdriftswereheapedupalreadyunderthefencesandatthedoorways。Thedoctorandtheexaminingmagistrategotintothesledge,andthewhitecoachmanbentoverthemtobuttonupthecover。Theywerebothhot。
\"Ready!\"
Theydrovethroughthevillage。\"Cuttingafeatheryfurrow,\"
thoughttheexaminingmagistrate,listlesslywatchingtheactionofthetracehorse’slegs。Therewerelightsinallthehuts,asthoughitweretheeveofagreatholiday:thepeasantshadnotgonetobedbecausetheywereafraidofthedeadbody。Thecoachmanpreservedasullensilence,probablyhehadfeltdrearywhilehewaswaitingbytheZemstvohut,andnowhe,too,wasthinkingofthedeadman。
\"AttheVonTaunitz’s,\"saidStartchenko,\"theyallsetuponmewhentheyheardthatyouwerelefttospendthenightinthehut,andaskedmewhyIdidnotbringyouwithme。\"
Astheydroveoutofthevillage,attheturningthecoachmansuddenlyshoutedatthetopofhisvoice:\"Outoftheway!\"
Theycaughtaglimpseofaman:hewasstandinguptohiskneesinthesnow,movingofftheroadandstaringatthehorses。Theexaminingmagistratesawastickwithacrook,andabeardandabag,andhefanciedthatitwasLoshadin,andevenfanciedthathewassmiling。Heflashedbyanddisappeared。
Theroadranatfirstalongtheedgeoftheforest,thenalongabroadforestclearing;theycaughtglimpsesofoldpinesandayoungbirchcopse,andtall,gnarledyoungoaktreesstandingsinglyintheclearingswherethewoodhadlatelybeencut;butsoonitwasallmergedinthecloudsofsnow。Thecoachmansaidhecouldseetheforest;theexaminingmagistratecouldseenothingbutthetracehorse。Thewindblewontheirbacks。
Allatoncethehorsesstopped。
\"Well,whatisitnow?\"askedStartchenkocrossly。
Thecoachmangotdownfromtheboxwithoutawordandbeganrunningroundthesledge,treadingonhisheels;hemadelargerandlargercircles,gettingfurtherandfurtherawayfromthesledge,anditlookedasthoughheweredancing;atlasthecamebackandbegantoturnofftotheright。
\"You’vegotofftheroad,eh?\"askedStartchenko。
\"It’sallri-ight……\"
Thentherewasalittlevillageandnotasinglelightinit。
Againtheforestandthefields。Againtheylosttheroad,andagainthecoachmangotdownfromtheboxanddancedroundthesledge。Thesledgeflewalongadarkavenue,flewswiftlyon。
Andtheheatedtracehorse’shoofsknockedagainstthesledge。
Heretherewasafearfulroaringsoundfromthetrees,andnothingcouldbeseen,asthoughtheywereflyingonintospace;
andallatoncetheglaringlightattheentranceandthewindowsflashedupontheireyes,andtheyheardthegood-natured,drawn-outbarkingofdogs。Theyhadarrived。
Whiletheyweretakingofftheirfurcoatsandtheirfeltbootsbelow,\"UnPetitVerredeClicquot\"wasbeingplayeduponthepianooverhead,andtheycouldhearthechildrenbeatingtimewiththeirfeet。Immediatelyongoingintheywereawareofthesnugwarmthandspecialsmelloftheoldapartmentsofamansionwhere,whatevertheweatheroutside,lifeissowarmandcleanandcomfortable。
\"That’scapital!\"saidVonTaunitz,afatmanwithanincrediblythickneckandwithwhiskers,asheshooktheexaminingmagistrate’shand。\"That’scapital!Youareverywelcome,delightedtomakeyouracquaintance。Wearecolleaguestosomeextent,youknow。AtonetimeIwasdeputyprosecutor;butnotforlong,onlytwoyears。Icameheretolookaftertheestate,andhereIhavegrownold——anoldfogey,infact。Youareverywelcome,\"hewenton,evidentlyrestraininghisvoicesoasnottospeaktooloud;hewasgoingupstairswithhisguests。\"Ihavenowife,she’sdead。Buthere,Iwillintroducemydaughters,\"
andturninground,heshouteddownthestairsinavoiceofthunder:\"TellIgnattohavethesledgereadyateighto’clockto-morrowmorning。\"
Hisfourdaughters,youngandprettygirls,allwearinggraydressesandwiththeirhairdoneupinthesamestyle,andtheircousin,alsoyoungandattractive,withherchildren,wereinthedrawingroom。Startchenko,whoknewthemalready,beganatoncebeggingthemtosingsomething,andtwooftheyoungladiesspentalongtimedeclaringtheycouldnotsingandthattheyhadnomusic;thenthecousinsatdowntothepiano,andwithtremblingvoices,theysangaduetfrom\"TheQueenofSpades。\"Again\"UnPetitVerredeClicquot\"wasplayed,andthechildrenskippedabout,beatingtimewiththeirfeet。AndStartchenkoprancedabouttoo。Everybodylaughed。
Thenthechildrensaidgood-nightandwentofftobed。Theexaminingmagistratelaughed,dancedaquadrille,flirted,andkeptwonderingwhetheritwasnotalladream?ThekitchenoftheZemstvohut,theheapofhayinthecorner,therustleofthebeetles,therevoltingpoverty-strickensurroundings,thevoicesofthewitnesses,thewind,thesnowstorm,thedangerofbeinglost;andthenallatoncethissplendid,brightlylightedroom,thesoundsofthepiano,thelovelygirls,thecurly-headedchildren,thegay,happylaughter——suchatransformationseemedtohimlikeafairytale,anditseemedincrediblethatsuchtransitionswerepossibleatthedistanceofsometwomilesinthecourseofonehour。Anddrearythoughtspreventedhimfromenjoyinghimself,andhekeptthinkingthiswasnotlifehere,butbitsoflifefragments,thateverythingherewasaccidental,thatonecoulddrawnoconclusionsfromit;andheevenfeltsorryforthesegirls,whowerelivingandwouldendtheirlivesinthewilds,inaprovincefarawayfromthecenterofculture,wherenothingisaccidental,buteverythingisinaccordancewithreasonandlaw,andwhere,forinstance,everysuicideisintelligible,sothatonecanexplainwhyithashappenedandwhatisitssignificanceinthegeneralschemeofthings。Heimaginedthatifthelifesurroundinghimhereinthewildswerenotintelligibletohim,andifhedidnotseeit,itmeantthatitdidnotexistatall。
AtsuppertheconversationturnedonLesnitsky\"Heleftawifeandchild,\"saidStartchenko。\"Iwouldforbidneurasthenicsandallpeoplewhosenervoussystemisoutofordertomarry,Iwoulddeprivethemoftherightandpossibilityofmultiplyingtheirkind。Tobringintotheworldnervous,invalidchildrenisacrime。\"
\"Hewasanunfortunateyoungman,\"saidVonTaunitz,sighinggentlyandshakinghishead。\"Whatalotonemustsufferandthinkaboutbeforeonebringsoneselftotakeone’sownlife,……ayounglife!Suchamisfortunemayhappeninanyfamily,andthatisawful。Itishardtobearsuchathing,insufferable……\"
Andallthegirlslistenedinsilencewithgravefaces,lookingattheirfather。Lyzhinfeltthathe,too,mustsaysomething,buthecouldn’tthinkofanything,andmerelysaid:
\"Yes,suicideisanundesirablephenomenon。\"
Hesleptinawarmroom,inasoftbedcoveredwithaquiltunderwhichtherewerefinecleansheets,butforsomereasondidnotfeelcomfortable:perhapsbecausethedoctorandVonTaunitzwere,foralongtime,talkingintheadjoiningroom,andoverheadheheard,throughtheceilingandinthestove,thewindroaringjustasintheZemstvohut,andasplaintivelyhowling:\"Oo-oo-oo-oo!\"
VonTaunitz’swifehaddiedtwoyearsbefore,andhewasstillunabletoresignhimselftohislossand,whateverhewastalkingabout,alwaysmentionedhiswife;andtherewasnotraceofaprosecutorleftabouthimnow。
\"IsitpossiblethatImaysomedaycometosuchacondition?\"
thoughtLyzhin,ashefellasleep,stillhearingthroughthewallhishost’ssubdued,asitwerebereaved,voice。
Theexaminingmagistratedidnotsleepsoundly。Hefelthotanduncomfortable,anditseemedtohiminhissleepthathewasnotatVonTaunitz’s,andnotinasoftcleanbed,butstillinthehayattheZemstvohut,hearingthesubduedvoicesofthewitnesses;hefanciedthatLesnitskywascloseby,notfifteenpacesaway。Inhisdreamsherememberedhowtheinsuranceagent,black-hairedandpale,wearingdustyhighboots,hadcomeintothebookkeeper’soffice。\"Thisisourinsuranceagent……\"
ThenhedreamedthatLesnitskyandLoshadintheconstablewerewalkingthroughtheopencountryinthesnow,sidebyside,supportingeachother;thesnowwaswhirlingabouttheirheads,thewindwasblowingontheirbacks,buttheywalkedon,singing:Wegoon,andon,andon……\"
Theoldmanwaslikeamagicianinanopera,andbothofthemweresingingasthoughtheywereonthestage:
\"Wegoon,andon,andon!……Youareinthewarmth,inthelightandsnugness,butwearewalkinginthefrostandthestorm,throughthedeepsnow……Weknownothingofease,weknownothingofjoy……Webearalltheburdenofthislife,yoursandours……Oo-oo-oo!Wegoon,andon,andon……\"
Lyzhinwokeandsatupinbed。Whataconfused,baddream!Andwhydidhedreamoftheconstableandtheagenttogether?Whatnonsense!AndnowwhileLyzhin’sheartwasthrobbingviolentlyandhewassittingonhisbed,holdinghisheadinhishands,itseemedtohimthattherereallywassomethingincommonbetweenthelivesoftheinsuranceagentandtheconstable。Don’ttheyreallygosidebysideholdingeachotherup?Sometieunseen,butsignificantandessential,existedbetweenthem,andevenbetweenthemandVonTaunitzandbetweenallmen——allmen;inthislife,evenintheremotestdesert,nothingisaccidental,everythingisfullofonecommonidea,everythinghasonesoul,oneaim,andtounderstandititisnotenoughtothink,itisnotenoughtoreason,onemusthavealso,itseems,thegiftofinsightintolife,agiftwhichisevidentlynotbestowedonall。
Andtheunhappymanwhohadbrokendown,whohadkilledhimself——the\"neurasthenic,\"asthedoctorcalledhim——andtheoldpeasantwhospenteverydayofhislifegoingfromonemantoanother,wereonlyaccidental,wereonlyfragmentsoflifeforonewhothoughtofhisownlifeasaccidental,butwerepartsofoneorganism——marvelousandrational——foronewhothoughtofhisownlifeaspartofthatuniversalwholeandunderstoodit。
SothoughtLyzhin,anditwasathoughtthathadlonglainhiddeninhissoul,andonlynowitwasunfoldedbroadlyandclearlytohisconsciousness。
Helaydownandbegantodropasleep;andagaintheyweregoingalongtogether,singing:\"Wegoon,andon,andon……Wetakefromlifewhatishardestandbitterestinit,andweleaveyouwhatiseasyandjoyful;andsittingatsupper,youcancoldlyandsensiblydiscusswhywesufferandperish,andwhywearenotassoundandassatisfiedasyou。\"
Whattheyweresinginghadoccurredtohismindbefore,butthethoughtwassomewhereinthebackgroundbehindhisotherthoughts,andflickeredtimidlylikeafarawaylightinfoggyweather。Andhefeltthatthissuicideandthepeasant’ssufferingslayuponhisconscience,too;toresignhimselftothefactthatthesepeople,submissivetotheirfate,shouldtakeuptheburdenofwhatwashardestandgloomiestinlife——howawfulitwas!Toacceptthis,andtodesireforhimselfalifefulloflightandmovementamonghappyandcontentedpeople,andtobecontinuallydreamingofsuch,meansdreamingoffreshsuicidesofmencrushedbytoilandanxiety,orofmenweakandoutcastwhompeopleonlytalkofsometimesatsupperwithannoyanceormockery,withoutgoingtotheirhelp……Andagain:
\"Wegoon,andon,andon……\"asthoughsomeonewerebeatingwithahammeronhistemples。
Hewokeearlyinthemorningwithaheadache,rousedbyanoise;
inthenextroomVonTaunitzwassayingloudlytothedoctor:
\"It’simpossibleforyoutogonow。Lookwhat’sgoingonoutside。
Don’targue,youhadbetteraskthecoachman;hewon’ttakeyouinsuchweatherforamillion。\"
\"Butit’sonlytwomiles,\"saidthedoctorinanimploringvoice。
\"Well,ifitwereonlyhalfamile。Ifyoucan’t,thenyoucan’t。
Directlyyoudriveoutofthegatesitisperfecthell,youwouldbeofftheroadinaminute。Nothingwillinducemetoletyougo,youcansaywhatyoulike。\"
\"It’sboundtobequietertowardsevening,\"saidthepeasantwhowasheatingthestove。
AndinthenextroomthedoctorbegantalkingoftherigorousclimateanditsinfluenceonthecharacteroftheRussian,ofthelongwinterswhich,bypreventingmovementfromplacetoplace,hindertheintellectualdevelopmentofthepeople;andLyzhinlistenedwithvexationtotheseobservationsandlookedoutofwindowatthesnowdriftswhichwerepiledonthefence。Hegazedatthewhitedustwhichcoveredthewholevisibleexpanse,atthetreeswhichbowedtheirheadsdespairinglytorightandthentoleft,listenedtothehowlingandthebanging,andthoughtgloomily:
\"Well,whatmoralcanbedrawnfromit?It’sablizzardandthatisallaboutit……\"
Atmiddaytheyhadlunch,thenwanderedaimlesslyaboutthehouse;theywenttothewindows。
\"AndLesnitskyislyingthere,\"thoughtLyzhin,watchingthewhirlingsnow,whichracedfuriouslyroundandrounduponthedrifts。\"Lesnitskyislyingthere,thewitnessesarewaiting……\"
Theytalkedoftheweather,sayingthatthesnowstormusuallylastedtwodaysandnights,rarelylonger。Atsixo’clocktheyhaddinner,thentheyplayedcards,sang,danced;atlasttheyhadsupper。Thedaywasover,theywenttobed。
Inthenight,towardsmorning,itallsubsided。Whentheygotupandlookedoutofwindow,thebarewillowswiththeirweaklydroopingbrancheswerestandingperfectlymotionless;itwasdullandstill,asthoughnaturenowwereashamedofitsorgy,ofitsmadnights,andthelicenseithadgiventoitspassions。Thehorses,harnessedtandem,hadbeenwaitingatthefrontdoorsincefiveo’clockinthemorning。Whenitwasfullydaylightthedoctorandtheexaminingmagistrateputontheirfurcoatsandfeltboots,and,sayinggood-bytotheirhost,wentout。
Atthestepsbesidethecoachmanstoodthefamiliarfigureoftheconstable,IlyaLoshadin,withanoldleatherbagacrosshisshoulderandnocaponhishead,coveredwithsnowallover,andhisfacewasredandwetwithperspiration。Thefootmanwhohadcomeouttohelpthegentlemenandcovertheirlegslookedathimsternlyandsaid:
\"Whatareyoustandingherefor,youolddevil?Getaway!\"
\"Yourhonor,thepeopleareanxious,\"saidLoshadin,smilingnaivelyalloverhisface,andevidentlypleasedatseeingatlastthepeoplehehadwaitedforsolong。\"Thepeopleareveryuneasy,thechildrenarecrying……Theythought,yourhonor,thatyouhadgonebacktothetownagain。Showustheheavenlymercy,ourbenefactors!……\"
Thedoctorandtheexaminingmagistratesaidnothing,gotintothesledge,anddrovetoSyrnya。