THEFIRST-CLASSPASSENGER
AFIRST-CLASSpassengerwhohadjustdinedatthestationanddrunkalittletoomuchlaydownonthevelvet-coveredseat，stretchedhimselfoutluxuriously，andsankintoadoze。Afteranapofnomorethanfiveminutes，helookedwithoilyeyesathis_vis-a-vis，_gaveasmirk，andsaid：
\"Myfatherofblessedmemoryusedtoliketohavehisheelstickledbypeasantwomenafterdinner。Iamjustlikehim，withthisdifference，thatafterdinnerIalwayslikemytongueandmybrainsgentlystimulated。SinfulmanasIam，Ilikeemptytalkonafullstomach。Willyouallowmetohaveachatwithyou？\"
\"Ishallbedelighted，\"answeredthe_vis-a-vis。_
\"Afteragooddinnerthemosttriflingsubjectissufficienttoarousedevilishlygreatthoughtsinmybrain。Forinstance，wesawjustnowneartherefreshmentbartwoyoungmen，andyouheardonecongratulatetheotheronbeingcelebrated。’I
congratulateyou，’hesaid；’youarealreadyacelebrityandarebeginningtowinfame。’Evidentlyactorsorjournalistsofmicroscopicdimensions。Buttheyarenotthepoint。Thequestionthatisoccupyingmymindatthemoment，sir，isexactlywhatistobeunderstoodbytheword_fame_or_charity_。Whatdoyouthink？Pushkincalledfameabrightpatchonaraggedgarment；weallunderstanditasPushkindoes——thatis，moreorlesssubjectively——butnoonehasyetgivenaclear，logicaldefinitionoftheword……Iwouldgiveagooddealforsuchadefinition！\"
\"Whydoyoufeelsuchaneedforit？\"
\"Yousee，ifweknewwhatfameis，themeansofattainingitmightalsoperhapsbeknowntous，\"saidthefirst-classpassenger，afteramoment’sthought。Imusttellyou，sir，thatwhenIwasyoungerIstroveaftercelebritywitheveryfiberofmybeing。Tobepopularwasmycraze，sotospeak。ForthesakeofitIstudied，worked，satupatnight，neglectedmymeals。AndI
fancy，asfarasIcanjudgewithoutpartiality，Ihadallthenaturalgiftsforattainingit。Tobeginwith，Iamanengineerbyprofession。InthecourseofmylifeIhavebuiltinRussiasometwodozenmagnificentbridges，Ihavelaidaqueductsforthreetowns；IhaveworkedinRussia，inEngland，inBelgium……Secondly，Iamtheauthorofseveralspecialtreatisesinmyownline。Andthirdly，mydearsir，Ihavefromaboyhadaweaknessforchemistry。Studyingthatscienceinmyleisurehours，Idiscoveredmethodsofobtainingcertainorganicacids，sothatyouwillfindmynameinalltheforeignmanualsofchemistry。Ihavealwaysbeenintheservice，Ihaverisentothegradeofactualcivilcouncilor，andIhaveanunblemishedrecord。Iwillnotfatigueyourattentionbyenumeratingmyworksandmymerits，IwillonlysaythatIhavedonefarmorethansomecelebrities。AndyethereIaminmyoldage，Iamgettingreadyformycoffin，sotosay，andIamascelebratedasthatblackdogyonderrunningontheembankment。\"
\"Howcanyoutell？Perhapsyouarecelebrated。\"
\"H’m！Well，wewilltestitatonce。Tellme，haveyoueverheardthenameKrikunov？\"
The_vis-a-vis_raisedhiseyestotheceiling，thoughtaminute，andlaughed。
\"No，Ihaven’theardit，……\"hesaid。
\"Thatismysurname。You，amanofeducation，gettingoninyears，haveneverheardofme——aconvincingproof！ItisevidentthatinmyeffortstogainfameIhavenotdonetherightthingatall：Ididnotknowtherightwaytosettowork，and，tryingtocatchfamebythetail，gotonthewrongsideofher。\"
\"Whatistherightwaytosettowork？\"
\"Well，thedevilonlyknows！Talent，yousay？Genius？
Originality？Notabitofit，sir！……Peoplehavelivedandmadeacareersidebysidewithmewhowereworthless，trivial，andevencontemptiblecomparedwithme。Theydidnotdoone-tenthoftheworkIdid，didnotputthemselvesout，werenotdistinguishedfortheirtalents，anddidnotmakeanefforttobecelebrated，butjustlookatthem！Theirnamesarecontinuallyinthenewspapersandonmen’slips！IfyouarenottiredoflisteningIwillillustrateitbyanexample。SomeyearsagoI
builtabridgeinthetownofK。Imusttellyouthatthedullnessofthatscurvylittletownwasterrible。IfithadnotbeenforwomenandcardsIbelieveIshouldhavegoneoutofmymind。Well，it’sanoldstory：IwassoboredthatIgotintoanaffairwithasinger。Everyonewasenthusiasticabouther，thedevilonlyknowswhy；tomythinkingshewas——whatshallIsay？
——anordinary，commonplacecreature，likelotsofothers。Thehussywasempty-headed，ill-tempered，greedy，andwhat’smore，shewasafool。
\"Sheateanddrankavastamount，slepttillfiveoclockintheafternoon——andIfancydidnothingelse。Shewaslookeduponasacocotte，andthatwasindeedherprofession；butwhenpeoplewantedtorefertoherinaliteraryfashion，theycalledheranactressandasinger。Iusedtobedevotedtothetheatre，andthereforethisfraudulentpretenseofbeinganactressmademefuriouslyindignant。Myyoungladyhadnottheslightestrighttocallherselfanactressorasinger。Shewasacreatureentirelydevoidoftalent，devoidoffeeling——apitifulcreatureonemaysay。AsfarasIcanjudgeshesangdisgustingly。Thewholecharmofher’art’layinherkickingupherlegsoneverysuitableoccasion，andnotbeingembarrassedwhenpeoplewalkedintoherdressing-room。Sheusuallyselectedtranslatedvaudevilles，withsinginginthem，andopportunitiesfordisportingherselfinmaleattire，intights。Infactitwas——ough！Well，Iaskyourattention。AsIremembernow，apublicceremonytookplacetocelebratetheopeningofthenewlyconstructedbridge。Therewasareligiousservice，therewerespeeches，telegrams，andsoon。I
hungaboutmycherishedcreation，youknow，allthewhileafraidthatmyheartwouldburstwiththeexcitementofanauthor。Itsanoldstoryandthere’snoneedforfalsemodesty，andsoIwilltellyouthatmybridgewasamagnificentwork！Itwasnotabridgebutapicture，aperfectdelight！Andwhowouldnothavebeenexcitedwhenthewholetowncametotheopening？’Oh，’I
thought，’nowtheeyesofallthepublicwillbeonme！WhereshallIhidemyself？’Well，Ineednothaveworriedmyself，sir——alas！Excepttheofficialpersonages，noonetooktheslightestnoticeofme。Theystoodinacrowdontheriver-bank，gazedlikesheepatthebridge，anddidnotconcernthemselvestoknowwhohadbuiltit。Anditwasfromthattime，bytheway，thatIbegantohateourestimablepublic——damnationtakethem！Well，tocontinue。Allatoncethepublicbecameagitated；
awhisperranthroughthecrowd，……asmilecameontheirfaces，theirshouldersbegantomove。’Theymusthaveseenme，’I
thought。Alikelyidea！Ilooked，andmysinger，withatrainofyoungscamps，wasmakingherwaythroughthecrowd。Theeyesofthecrowdwerehurriedlyfollowingthisprocession。Awhisperbeganinathousandvoices：’That’sso-and-so……Charming！
Bewitching！’Thenitwastheynoticedme……Acoupleofyoungmilksops，localamateursofthescenicart，Ipresume，lookedatme，exchangedglances，andwhispered：’That’sherlover！’Howdoyoulikethat？Andanunprepossessingindividualinatop-hat，withachinthatbadlyneededshaving，hungroundme，shiftingfromonefoottotheother，thenturnedtomewiththewords：
\"’Doyouknowwhothatladyis，walkingontheotherbank？That’sso-and-so……Hervoiceisbeneathallcriticism，butshehasamostperfectmasteryofit！……’
\"’Canyoutellme，’Iaskedtheunprepossessingindividual，’whobuiltthisbridge？’
\"’Ireallydon’tknow，’answeredtheindividual；someengineer，Iexpect。’
\"’Andwhobuiltthecathedralinyourtown？’Iaskedagain。
\"’Ireallycan’ttellyou。’
\"ThenIaskedhimwhowasconsideredthebestteacherinK。，whothebestarchitect，andtoallmyquestionstheunprepossessingindividualansweredthathedidnotknow。
\"’Andtellme，please，’Iaskedinconclusion，withwhomisthatsingerliving？’
\"’WithsomeengineercalledKrikunov。’
\"Well，howdoyoulikethat，sir？Buttoproceed。Therearenominnesingersorbardsnowadays，andcelebrityiscreatedalmostexclusivelybythenewspapers。Thedayafterthededicationofthebridge，Igreedilysnatchedupthelocal_Messenger，_andlookedformyselfinit。Ispentalongtimerunningmyeyesoverallthefourpages，andatlastthereitwas——hurrah！Ibeganreading：’Yesterdayinbeautifulweather，beforeavastconcourseofpeople，inthepresenceofHisExcellencytheGovernoroftheprovince，so-and-so，andotherdignitaries，theceremonyofthededicationofthenewlyconstructedbridgetookplace，’andsoon……Towardstheend：Ourtalentedactressso-and-so，thefavoriteoftheK。public，waspresentatthededicationlookingverybeautiful。Ineednotsaythatherarrivalcreatedasensation。Thestarwaswearing……’andsoon。Theymighthavegivenmeoneword！Halfaword。Pettyasitseems，Iactuallycriedwithvexation！
\"Iconsoledmyselfwiththereflectionthattheprovincesarestupid，andonecouldexpectnothingofthemandforcelebrityonemustgototheintellectualcenters——toPetersburgandtoMoscow。Andasithappened，atthatverytimetherewasaworkofmineinPetersburgwhichIhadsentinforacompetition。Thedateonwhichtheresultwastobedeclaredwasathand。
\"ItookleaveofK。andwenttoPetersburg。ItisalongjourneyfromK。toPetersburg，andthatImightnotbeboredonthejourneyItookareservedcompartmentand——well——ofcourse，I
tookmysinger。Wesetoff，andallthewaywewereeating，drinkingchampagne，and——tra-la——la！Butbehold，atlastwereachtheintellectualcenter。Iarrivedontheverydaytheresultwasdeclared，andhadthesatisfaction，mydearsir，ofcelebratingmyownsuccess：myworkreceivedthefirstprize。
Hurrah！NextdayIwentoutalongtheNevskyandspentseventykopecksonvariousnewspapers。Ihastenedtomyhotelroom，laydownonthesofa，and，controllingaquiverofexcitement，madehastetoread。Iranthroughonenewspaper——nothing。Iranthroughasecond——nothingeither；myGod！Atlast，inthefourth，Ilighteduponthefollowingparagraph：’Yesterdaythewell-knownprovincialactressso-and-soarrivedbyexpressinPetersburg。WenotewithpleasurethattheclimateoftheSouthhashadabeneficialeffectonourfairfriend；hercharmingstageappearance……’andIdon’tremembertherest！MuchlowerdownthanthatparagraphIfound，printedinthesmallesttype：
firstprizeinthecompetitionwasadjudgedtoanengineercalledso-and-so。’Thatwasall！Andtomakethingsbetter，theyevenmisspeltmyname：insteadofKrikunovitwasKirkutlov。Somuchforyourintellectualcenter！Butthatwasnotall……BythetimeIleftPetersburg，amonthlater，allthenewspaperswerevyingwithoneanotherindiscussingourincomparable，divine，highlytalentedactress，andmymistresswasreferredto，notbyhersurname，butbyherChristiannameandherfather’s……
\"SomeyearslaterIwasinMoscow。Iwassummonedtherebyaletter，inthemayor’sownhandwriting，toundertakeaworkforwhichMoscow，initsnewspapers，hadbeenclamoringforoverahundredyears。IntheintervalsofmyworkIdeliveredfivepubliclectures，withaphilanthropicobject，inoneofthemuseumsthere。Onewouldhavethoughtthatwasenoughtomakeoneknowntothewholetownforthreedaysatleast，wouldn’tone？
But，alas！notasingleMoscowgazettesaidawordaboutmeTherewassomethingabouthousesonfire，aboutanoperetta，sleepingtowncouncilors，drunkenshopkeepers——abouteverything；butaboutmywork，myplans，mylectures——mum。AndanicesettheyareinMoscow！Igotintoatram……Itwaspackedfull；therewereladiesandmilitarymenandstudentsofbothsexes，creaturesofallsortsincouples。
\"’Iamtoldthetowncouncilhassentforanengineertoplansuchandsuchawork！’Isaidtomyneighbor，soloudlythatallthetramcouldhear。’Doyouknowthenameoftheengineer？’
\"Myneighborshookhishead。Therestofthepublictookacursoryglanceatme，andinalltheireyesIread：’Idon’tknow。’
\"’Iamtoldthatthereissomeonegivinglecturesinsuchandsuchamuseum？’Ipersisted，tryingtogetupaconversation。’I
hearitisinteresting。’
\"Nooneevennodded。Evidentlytheyhadnotallofthemheardofthelectures，andtheladieswerenotevenawareoftheexistenceofthemuseum。Allthatwouldnothavemattered，butimagine，mydearsir，thepeoplesuddenlyleapedtotheirfeetandstruggledtothewindows。Whatwasit？Whatwasthematter？
\"’Look，look！’myneighbornudgedme。’Doyouseethatdarkmangettingintothatcab？That’sthefamousrunner，King！’
\"AndthewholetrambegantalkingbreathlesslyoftherunnerwhowasthenabsorbingthebrainsofMoscow。
\"Icouldgiveyoueversomanyotherexamples，butIthinkthatisenough。NowletusassumethatIammistakenaboutmyself，thatIamawretchedlyboastfulandincompetentperson；butapartfrommyselfImightpointtomanyofmycontemporaries，menremarkablefortheirtalentandindustry，whohaveneverthelessdiedunrecognized。AreRussiannavigators，chemists，physicists，mechanicians，andagriculturistspopularwiththepublic？DoourcultivatedmassesknowanythingofRussianartists，sculptors，andliterarymen？Someoldliteraryhack，hard-workingandtalented，willwearawaythedoorstepofthepublishers’officesforthirty-threeyears，coverreamsofpaper，behadupforlibeltwentytimes，andyetnotstepbeyondhisant-heap。Canyoumentiontomeasinglerepresentativeofourliteraturewhowouldhavebecomecelebratediftherumorhadnotbeenspreadovertheearththathehadbeenkilledinaduel，goneoutofhismind，beensentintoexile，orhadcheatedatcards？\"
Thefirst-classpassengerwassoexcitedthathedroppedhiscigaroutofhismouthandgotup。
\"Yes，\"hewentonfiercely，\"andsidebysidewiththesepeopleI
canquoteyouhundredsofallsortsofsingers，acrobats，buffoons，whosenamesareknowntoeverybaby。Yes！\"
Thedoorcreaked，therewasadraught，andanindividualofforbiddingaspect，wearinganInvernesscoat，atop-hat，andbluespectacles，walkedintothecarriage。Theindividuallookedroundattheseats，frowned，andwentonfurther。
\"Doyouknowwhothatis？\"therecameatimidwhisperfromthefurthestcornerofthecompartment。
ThatisN。N。，thefamousTulacardsharperwhowashadupinconnectionwiththeY。bankaffair。\"
\"Thereyouare！\"laughedthefirst-classpassenger。HeknowsaTulacardsharper，butaskhimwhetherheknowsSemiradsky，Tchaykovsky，orSolovyovthephilosopher——he’llshakehishead……Itswinish！\"
Threeminutespassedinsilence。
\"Allowmeinmyturntoaskyouaquestion，\"saidthe_vis-a-vis_
timidly，clearinghisthroat。DoyouknowthenameofPushkov？\"
\"Pushkov？H’m！Pushkov……No，Idon’tknowit！\"
\"Thatismyname，……\"saidthe_vis-a-vis，_，overcomewithembarrassment。\"Thenyoudon’tknowit？AndyetIhavebeenaprofessoratoneoftheRussianuniversitiesforthirty-fiveyears，……amemberoftheAcademyofSciences，……havepublishedmorethanonework……\"
Thefirst-classpassengerandthe_vis-a-vis_lookedateachotherandburstoutlaughing。
ATRAGICACTOR
ITwasthebenefitnightofFenogenov，thetragicactor。Theywereacting\"PrinceSerebryany。\"ThetragedianhimselfwasplayingVyazemsky；Limonadov，thestagemanager，wasplayingMorozov；MadameBeobahtov，Elena。Theperformancewasagrandsuccess。Thetragedianaccomplishedwondersindeed。WhenhewascarryingoffElena，heheldherinonehandabovehisheadashedashedacrossthestage。Heshouted，hissed，bangedwithhisfeet，torehiscoatacrosshischest。WhenherefusedtofightMorozov，hetrembledalloverasnobodyevertremblesinreality，andgaspedloudly。Thetheatreshookwithapplause。Therewereendlesscalls。Fenogenovwaspresentedwithasilvercigarette-caseandabouquettiedwithlongribbons。Theladieswavedtheirhandkerchiefsandurgedtheirmentoapplaud，manyshedtears……ButtheonewhowasthemostenthusiasticandmostexcitedwasMasha，daughterofSidoretskythepolicecaptain。Shewassittinginthefirstrowofthestallsbesideherpapa；shewasecstaticandcouldnottakehereyesoffthestageevenbetweentheacts。Herdelicatelittlehandsandfeetwerequivering，hereyeswerefulloftears，hercheeksturnedpalerandpaler。Andnowonder——shewasatthetheatreforthefirsttimeinherlife。
\"Howwelltheyact！howsplendidly！\"shesaidtoherpapathepolicecaptain，everytimethecurtainfell。HowgoodFenogenovis！\"
Andifherpapahadbeencapableofreadingfaceshewouldhavereadonhisdaughter’spalelittlecountenancearapturethatwasalmostanguish。Shewasovercomebytheacting，bytheplay，bythesurroundings。Whentheregimentalbandbeganplayingbetweentheacts，sheclosedhereyes，exhausted。
\"Papa！\"shesaidtothepolicecaptainduringthelastinterval，\"gobehindthescenesandaskthemalltodinnerto-morrow！\"
Thepolicecaptainwentbehindthescenes，praisedthemforalltheirfineacting，andcomplimentedMadameBeobahtov。
\"Yourlovelyfacedemandsacanvas，andIonlywishIcouldwieldthebrush！\"
Andwithascrape，hethereuponinvitedthecompanytodinner。
\"Allexceptthefairsex，\"hewhispered。\"Idon’twanttheactresses，forIhaveadaughter。\"
Nextdaytheactorsdinedatthepolicecaptain’s。Onlythreeturnedup，themanagerLimonadov，thetragedianFenogenov，andthecomicmanVodolazov；theotherssentexcuses。Thedinnerwasadullaffair。Limonadovkepttellingthepolicecaptainhowmuchherespectedhim，andhowhighlyhethoughtofallpersonsinauthority；VodolazovmimickeddrunkenmerchantsandArmenians；
andFenogenov（onhispassporthisnamewasKnish），atall，stoutLittleRussianwithblackeyesandfrowningbrow，declaimed\"Attheportalsofthegreat，\"and\"Tobeornottobe。\"Limonadov，withtearsinhiseyes，describedhisinterviewwiththeformerGovernor，GeneralKanyutchin。Thepolicecaptainlistened，wasbored，andsmiledaffably。Hewaswellsatisfied，althoughLimonadovsmeltstronglyofburntfeathers，andFenogenovwaswearingahireddresscoatandbootstroddendownatheel。Theypleasedhisdaughterandmadeherlively，andthatwasenoughforhim。AndMashanevertookhereyesofftheactors。Shehadneverbeforeseensuchclever，exceptionalpeople！
IntheeveningthepolicecaptainandMashawereatthetheatreagain。Aweeklatertheactorsdinedatthepolicecaptain’sagain，andafterthatcamealmosteverydayeithertodinnerorsupper。Mashabecamemoreandmoredevotedtothetheatre，andwentthereeveryevening。
Shefellinlovewiththetragedian。Onefinemorning，whenthepolicecaptainhadgonetomeetthebishop，MasharanawaywithLimonadov’scompanyandmarriedherheroontheway。Aftercelebratingthewedding，theactorscomposedalongandtouchingletterandsentittothepolicecaptain。
Itwastheworkoftheircombinedefforts。
\"Bringoutthemotive，themotive！\"Limonadovkeptsayingashedictatedtothecomicman。\"Layontherespect……Theseofficialchapslikeit。Addsomethingofasort……todrawatear。\"
Theanswertothisletterwasmostdiscomforting。Thepolicecaptaindisownedhisdaughterformarrying，ashesaid，\"astupid，idleLittleRussianwithnofixedhomeoroccupation。\"
AndthedayafterthisanswerwasreceivedMashawaswritingtoherfather。
\"Papa，hebeatsme！Forgiveus！\"
Hehadbeatenher，beatenherbehindthescenes，inthepresenceofLimonadov，thewasherwoman，andtwolightingmen。Herememberedhow，fourdaysbeforethewedding，hewassittingintheLondonTavernwiththewholecompany，andallweretalkingaboutMasha。Thecompanywereadvisinghimto\"chanceit，\"andLimonadov，withtearsinhiseyesurged：\"Itwouldbestupidandirrationaltoletslipsuchanopportunity！Why，forasumlikethatonewouldgotoSiberia，letalonegettingmarried！Whenyoumarryandhaveatheatreofyourown，takemeintoyourcompany。Ishan’tbemasterthen，you’llbemaster。\"
Fenogenovrememberedit，andmutteredwithclenchedfists：
\"Ifhedoesn’tsendmoneyI’llsmashher！Iwon’tletmyselfbemadeafoolof，damnmysoul！\"
AtoneprovincialtownthecompanytriedtogiveMashatheslip，butMashafoundout，rantothestation，andgottherewhenthesecondbellhadrungandtheactorshadalltakentheirseats。
\"I’vebeenshamefullytreatedbyyourfather，\"saidthetragedian；\"allisoverbetweenus！\"
Andthoughthecarriagewasfullofpeople，shewentdownonherkneesandheldoutherhands，imploringhim：
\"Iloveyou！Don’tdrivemeaway，KondratyIvanovitch，\"shebesoughthim。\"Ican’tlivewithoutyou！\"
Theylistenedtoherentreaties，andafterconsultingtogether，tookherintothecompanyasa\"countess\"——thenametheyusedfortheminoractresseswhousuallycameontothestageincrowdsorindumbparts。TobeginwithMashausedtoplaymaid-servantsandpages，butwhenMadameBeobahtov，theflowerofLimonadov’scompany，eloped，theymadeher_ingenue_。Sheactedbadly，lisped，andwasnervous。Shesoongrewusedtoit，however，andbegantobelikedbytheaudience。Fenogenovwasmuchdispleased。
\"Tocallheranactress！\"heusedtosay。\"Shehasnofigure，nodeportment，nothingwhateverbutsilliness。\"
InoneprovincialtownthecompanyactedSchiller’s\"Robbers。\"
FenogenovplayedFranz，Masha，Amalie。Thetragedianshoutedandquivered。Masharepeatedherpartlikeawell-learntlesson，andtheplaywouldhavegoneoffastheygenerallydidhaditnotbeenforatriflingmishap。EverythingwentwelluptothepointwhereFranzdeclareshisloveforAmalieandsheseizeshissword。Thetragedianshouted，hissed，quivered，andsqueezedMashainhisironembrace。AndMasha，insteadofrepulsinghimandcrying\"Hence！\"trembledinhisarmslikeabirdanddidnotmove，……sheseemedpetrified。
\"Havepityonme！\"shewhisperedinhisear。\"Oh，havepityonme！Iamsomiserable！\"
\"Youdon’tknowyourpart！Listentotheprompter！\"hissedthetragedian，andhethrusthisswordintoherhand。
Aftertheperformance，LimonadovandFenogenovweresittingintheticketbox-officeengagedinconversation。
\"Yourwifedoesnotlearnherpart，youarerightthere，\"themanagerwassaying。\"Shedoesn’tknowherline……Everymanhashisownline，……butshedoesn’tknowhers……\"
Fenogenovlistened，sighed，andscowledandscowled。
Nextmorning，Mashawassittinginalittlegeneralshopwriting：
\"Papa，hebeatsme！Forgiveus！Sendussomemoney！\"
ATRANSGRESSION
ACOLLEGIATEassessorcalledMiguevstoppedatatelegraph-postinthecourseofhiseveningwalkandheavedadeepsigh。Aweekbefore，ashewasreturninghomefromhiseveningwalk，hehadbeenovertakenatthatveryspotbyhisformerhousemaid，Agnia，whosaidtohimviciously：
\"Waitabit！I’llcookyousuchacrabthat’llteachyoutoruininnocentgirls！I’llleavethebabyatyourdoor，andI’llhavethelawofyou，andI’lltellyourwife，too……\"
Andshedemandedthatheshouldputfivethousandroublesintothebankinhername。Miguevrememberedit，heavedasigh，andoncemorereproachedhimselfwithheartfeltrepentanceforthemomentaryinfatuationwhichhadcausedhimsomuchworryandmisery。
Whenhereachedhisbungalow，hesatdowntorestonthedoorstep。Itwasjustteno’clock，andabitofthemoonpeepedoutfrombehindtheclouds。Therewasnotasoulinthestreetnornearthebungalows；elderlysummervisitorswerealreadygoingtobed，whileyoungoneswerewalkinginthewood。Feelinginbothhispocketsforamatchtolighthiscigarette，Miguevbroughthiselbowintocontactwithsomethingsoft。Helookedidlyathisrightelbow，andhisfacewasinstantlycontortedbyalookofasmuchhorrorasthoughhehadseenasnakebesidehim。Onthestepattheverydoorlayabundle。Somethingoblonginshapewaswrappedupinsomething——judgingbythefeelofit，awaddedquilt。Oneendofthebundlewasalittleopen，andthecollegiateassessor，puttinginhishand，feltsomethingdampandwarm。Heleapedontohisfeetinhorror，andlookedabouthimlikeacriminaltryingtoescapefromhiswarders……
\"Shehasleftit！\"hemutteredwrathfullythroughhisteeth，clenchinghisfists。\"Hereitlies……Hereliesmytransgression！OLord！\"
Hewasnumbwithterror，anger，andshame……Whatwashetodonow？Whatwouldhiswifesayifshefoundout？Whatwouldhiscolleaguesattheofficesay？HisExcellencywouldbesuretodighimintheribs，guffaw，andsay：\"Icongratulateyou！……
He-he-he！Thoughyourbeardisgray，yourheartisgay……Youarearogue，SemyonErastovitch！\"Thewholecolonyofsummervisitorswouldknowhissecretnow，andprobablytherespectablemothersoffamilieswouldshuttheirdoorstohim。
Suchincidentsalwaysgetintothepapers，andthehumblenameofMiguevwouldbepublishedalloverRussia……
Themiddlewindowofthebungalowwasopenandhecoulddistinctlyhearhiswife，AnnaFilippovna，layingthetableforsupper；intheyardclosetothegateYermolay，theporter，wasplaintivelystrummingonthebalalaika。Thebabyhadonlytowakeupandbegintocry，andthesecretwouldbediscovered。Miguevwasconsciousofanoverwhelmingdesiretomakehaste。
\"Haste，haste！……\"hemuttered，\"thisminute，beforeanyonesees。I’llcarryitawayandlayitonsomebody’sdoorstep……\"
Miguevtookthebundleinonehandandquietly，withadeliberatesteptoavoidawakeningsuspicion，wentdownthestreet……
\"Awonderfullynastyposition！\"hereflected，tryingtoassumeanairofunconcern。\"Acollegiateassessorwalkingdownthestreetwithababy！Goodheavens！ifanyoneseesmeandunderstandstheposition，Iamdonefor……I’dbetterputitonthisdoorstep……No，stay，thewindowsareopenandperhapssomeoneislooking。WhereshallIputit？Iknow！I’lltakeittothemerchantMyelkin’s……Merchantsarerichpeopleandtenderhearted；verylikelytheywillsaythankyouandadoptit。\"
AndMiguevmadeuphismindtotakethebabytoMyelkin’s，althoughthemerchant’svillawasinthefurtheststreet，closetotheriver。
\"Ifonlyitdoesnotbeginscreamingorwriggleoutofthebundle，\"thoughtthecollegiateassessor。\"Thisisindeedapleasantsurprise！HereIamcarryingahumanbeingundermyarmasthoughitwereaportfolio。Ahumanbeing，alive，withsoul，withfeelingslikeanyoneelse……IfbygoodlucktheMyelkinsadopthim，hemayturnoutsomebody……Maybehewillbecomeaprofessor，agreatgeneral，anauthor……Anythingmayhappen！NowIamcarryinghimundermyarmlikeabundleofrubbish，andperhapsinthirtyorfortyyearsImaynotdaretositdowninhispresence……
AsMiguevwaswalkingalonganarrow，desertedalley，besidealongrowoffences，inthethickblackshadeofthelimetrees，itsuddenlystruckhimthathewasdoingsomethingverycruelandcriminal。
\"Howmeanitisreally！\"hethought。\"Someanthatonecan’timagineanythingmeaner……Whyareweshiftingthispoorbabyfromdoortodoor？It’snotitsfaultthatit’sbeenborn。It’sdoneusnoharm。Wearescoundrels……Wetakeourpleasure，andtheinnocentbabieshavetopaythepenalty。Onlytothinkofallthiswretchedbusiness！
I’vedonewrongandthechildhasacruelfatebeforeit。IfI
layitattheMyelkins’door，they’llsendittothefoundlinghospital，andthereitwillgrowupamongstrangers，inmechanicalroutine，……nolove，nopetting，nospoiling……
Andthenhe’llbeapprenticedtoashoemaker，……he’lltaketodrink，willlearntousefilthylanguage，willgohungry。A
shoemaker！andhethesonofacollegiateassessor，ofgoodfamily……Heismyfleshandblood，……\"
Miguevcameoutoftheshadeofthelimetreesintothebrightmoonlightoftheopenroad，andopeningthebundle，helookedatthebaby。
\"Asleep！\"hemurmured。\"Youlittlerascal！why，you’veanaquilinenoselikeyourfather’s……Hesleepsanddoesn’tfeelthatit’shisownfatherlookingathim！……It’sadrama，myboy……Well，well，youmustforgiveme。Forgiveme，oldboy……Itseemsit’syourfate……\"
Thecollegiateassessorblinkedandfeltaspasmrunningdownhischeeks……Hewrappedupthebaby，puthimunderhisarm，andstrodeon。AllthewaytotheMyelkins’villasocialquestionswereswarminginhisbrainandconsciencewasgnawinginhisbosom。
\"IfIwereadecent，honestman，hethought，\"Ishoulddamneverything，gowiththisbabytoAnnaFilippovna，fallonmykneesbeforeher，andsay：’Forgiveme！Ihavesinned！Tortureme，butwewon’truinaninnocentchild。Wehavenochildren；letusadopthim！\"She’sagoodsort，she’dconsent……Andthenmychildwouldbewithme……Ech！\"
HereachedtheMyelkins’villaandstoodstillhesitating。Heimaginedhimselfintheparlorathome，sittingreadingthepaperwhilealittleboywithanaquilinenoseplayedwiththetasselsofhisdressinggown。Atthesametimevisionsforcedthemselvesonhisbrainofhiswinkingcolleagues，andofhisExcellencydigginghimintheribsandguffawing……Besidestheprickingofhisconscience，therewassomethingwarm，sad，andtenderinhisheart……
Cautiouslythecollegiateassessorlaidthebabyontheverandahstepandwavedhishand。Againhefeltaspasmrunoverhisface……
\"Forgiveme，oldfellow！Iamascoundrel，hemuttered。\"Don’trememberevilagainstme。\"
Hesteppedback，butimmediatelyclearedhisthroatresolutelyandsaid：
\"Oh，comewhatwill！Damnitall！I’lltakehim，andletpeoplesaywhattheylike！\"
Miguevtookthebabyandstroderapidlyback。
\"Letthemsaywhattheylike，\"hethought。\"I’llgoatonce，fallonmyknees，andsay：’AnnaFilippovna！’Annaisagoodsort，she’llunderstand……Andwe’llbringhimup……Ifit’saboywe’llcallhimVladimir，andifit’sagirlwe’llcallherAnna！Anyway，itwillbeacomfortinouroldage。\"
Andhedidashedetermined。Weepingandalmostfaintwithshameandterror，fullofhopeandvaguerapture，hewentintohisbungalow，wentuptohiswife，andfellonhiskneesbeforeher。
\"AnnaFilippovna！\"hesaidwithasob，andhelaidthebabyonthefloor。\"Hearmebeforeyoupunish……Ihavesinned！Thisismychild……YourememberAgnia？Well，itwasthedevildrovemetoit……\"
And，almostunconsciouswithshameandterror，hejumpedupwithoutwaitingforananswer，andranoutintotheopenairasthoughhehadreceivedathrashing……
\"I’llstayhereoutsidetillshecallsme，\"hethought。\"I’llgivehertimetorecover，andtothinkitover……\"
TheporterYermolaypassedhimwithhisbalalaika，glancedathimandshruggedhisshoulders。Aminutelaterhepassedhimagain，andagainheshruggedhisshoulders。
\"Here’sago！Didyouever！\"hemutteredgrinning。\"Aksinya，thewasher-woman，washerejustnow，SemyonErastovitch。Thesillywomanputherbabydownonthestepshere，andwhileshewasindoorswithme，someonetookandcarriedoffthebaby……
Who’dhavethoughtit！\"
\"What？Whatareyousaying？\"shoutedMiguevatthetopofhisvoice。
Yermolay，interpretinghismaster’swrathinhisownfashion，scratchedhisheadandheavedasigh。
\"Iamsorry，SemyonErastovitch，\"hesaid，\"butit’sthesummerholidays，……onecan’tgetonwithout……withoutawoman，I
mean……\"
Andglancingathismaster’seyesglaringathimwithangerandastonishment，heclearedhisthroatguiltilyandwenton：
\"It’sasin，ofcourse，butthere——whatisonetodo？……
You’veforbiddenustohavestrangersinthehouse，Iknow，butwe’venoneofourownnow。WhenAgniawashereIhadnowomentoseeme，forIhadoneathome；butnow，youcanseeforyourself，sir，……onecan’thelphavingstrangers。InAgnia’stime，ofcourse，therewasnothingirregular，because……\"
\"Beoff，youscoundrel！\"Miguevshoutedathim，stamping，andhewentbackintotheroom。
AnnaFilippovna，amazedandwrathful，wassittingasbefore，hertear-stainedeyesfixedonthebaby……
\"There！there！\"Miguevmutteredwithapaleface，twistinghislipsintoasmile。\"Itwasajoke……It’snotmybaby，……
it’sthewasher-woman’s！……I……Iwasjoking……Takeittotheporter。\"
SMALLFRY
\"HONOREDSir，FatherandBenefactor！\"apettyclerkcalledNevyrazimovwaswritingaroughcopyofanEastercongratulatoryletter。\"ItrustthatyoumayspendthisHolyDayevenasmanymoretocome，ingoodhealthandprosperity。AndtoyourfamilyalsoI……\"
Thelamp，inwhichthekerosenewasgettinglow，wassmokingandsmelling。AstraycockroachwasrunningaboutthetableinalarmnearNevyrazimov’swritinghand。TworoomsawayfromtheofficeParamontheporterwasforthethirdtimecleaninghisbestboots，andwithsuchenergythatthesoundoftheblacking-brushandofhisexpectorationswasaudibleinalltherooms。
\"WhatelsecanIwritetohim，therascal？\"Nevyrazimovwondered，raisinghiseyestothesmuttyceiling。
Ontheceilinghesawadarkcircle——theshadowofthelamp-shade。Belowitwasthedustycornice，andlowerstillthewall，whichhadoncebeenpaintedabluishmuddycolor。Andtheofficeseemedtohimsuchaplaceofdesolationthathefeltsorry，notonlyforhimself，butevenforthecockroach。
\"WhenIamoffdutyIshallgoaway，buthe’llbeondutyhereallhiscockroach-life，\"hethought，stretching。\"Iambored！
ShallIcleanmyboots？\"
Andstretchingoncemore，Nevyrazimovslouchedlazilytotheporter’sroom。Paramonhadfinishedcleaninghisboots。Crossinghimselfwithonehandandholdingthebrushintheother，hewasstandingattheopenwindow-pane，listening。
\"They’reringing，\"hewhisperedtoNevyrazimov，lookingathimwitheyesintentandwideopen。\"Already！\"
Nevyrazimovputhiseartotheopenpaneandlistened。TheEasterchimesfloatedintotheroomwithawhiffoffreshspringair。
Theboomingofthebellsmingledwiththerumbleofcarriages，andabovethechaosofsoundsrosethebrisktenortonesofthenearestchurchandaloudshrilllaugh。
\"Whatalotofpeople！\"sighedNevyrazimov，lookingdownintothestreet，whereshadowsofmenflittedoneafteranotherbytheilluminationlamps。\"They’reallhurryingtothemidnightservice……Ourfellowshavehadadrinkbynow，youmaybesure，andarestrollingaboutthetown。Whatalotoflaughter，whatalotoftalk！I’mtheonlyunluckyone，tohavetosithereonsuchaday：AndIhavetodoiteveryyear！\"
\"Well，nobodyforcesyoutotakethejob。It’snotyourturntobeondutytoday，butZastupovhiredyoutotakehisplace。Whenotherfolksareenjoyingthemselvesyouhireyourselfout。It’sgreediness！\"
\"Devilabitofit！Notmuchtobegreedyover——tworoublesisallhegivesme；anecktieasanextra……It’spoverty，notgreediness。Anditwouldbejolly，now，youknow，tobegoingwithapartytotheservice，andthentobreakthefast……
Todrinkandtohaveabitofsupperandtumbleofftosleep……Onesitsdowntothetable，there’sanEastercakeandthesamovarhissing，andsomecharminglittlethingbesideyou……
Youdrinkaglassandchuckherunderthechin，andit’sfirst-
rate……Youfeelyou’resomebody……Echh-h！……I’vemadeamessofthings！Lookatthathussydrivingbyinhercarriage，whileIhavetosithereandbrood。\"
\"Weeachhaveourlotinlife，IvanDanilitch。PleaseGod，you’llbepromotedanddriveaboutinyourcarriageoneday。\"
\"I？No，brother，notlikely。Ishan’tgetbeyonda’titular，’notifItrytillIburst。I’mnotaneducatedman。\"
\"OurGeneralhasnoeducationeither，but……\"
\"Well，buttheGeneralstoleahundredthousandbeforehegothisposition。Andhe’sgotverydifferentmannersanddeportmentfromme，brother。Withmymannersanddeportmentonecan’tgetfar！
Andsuchascoundrellysurname，Nevyrazimov！It’sahopelessposition，infact。Onemaygoonasoneis，oronemayhangoneself……\"
Hemovedawayfromthewindowandwalkedwearilyabouttherooms。
Thedinofthebellsgrewlouderandlouder……Therewasnoneedtostandbythewindowtohearit。Andthebetterhecouldhearthebellsandtheloudertheroarofthecarriages，thedarkerseemedthemuddywallsandthesmuttycorniceandthemorethelampsmoked。
\"ShallIhookitandleavetheoffice？\"thoughtNevyrazimov。
Butsuchaflightpromisednothingworthhaving……Aftercomingoutoftheofficeandwanderingaboutthetown，Nevyrazimovwouldhavegonehometohislodging，andinhislodgingitwasevengrayerandmoredepressingthanintheoffice……
Evensupposingheweretospendthatdaypleasantlyandwithcomfort，whathadhebeyond？Nothingbutthesamegraywalls，thesamestop-gapdutyandcomplimentaryletters……
Nevyrazimovstoodstillinthemiddleoftheofficeandsankintothought。Theyearningforanew，betterlifegnawedathisheartwithanintolerableache。Hehadapassionatelongingtofindhimselfsuddenlyinthestreet，tominglewiththelivingcrowd，totakepartinthesolemnfestivityforthesakeofwhichallthosebellswereclashingandthosecarriageswererumbling。Helongedforwhathehadknowninchildhood——thefamilycircle，thefestivefacesofhisownpeople，thewhitecloth，light，warmth……！Hethoughtofthecarriageinwhichtheladyhadjustdrivenby，theovercoatinwhichtheheadclerkwassosmart，thegoldchainthatadornedthesecretary’schest……
Hethoughtofawarmbed，oftheStanislavorder，ofnewboots，ofauniformwithoutholesintheelbows……Hethoughtofallthosethingsbecausehehadnoneofthem。
\"ShallIsteal？\"hethought。\"Evenifstealingisaneasymatter，hidingiswhat’sdifficult。MenrunawaytoAmerica，theysay，withwhatthey’vestolen，butthedevilknowswherethatblessedAmericais。Onemusthaveeducationeventosteal，itseems。\"
Thebellsdieddown。HeheardonlyadistantnoiseofcarriagesandParamon’scough，whilehisdepressionandangergrewmoreandmoreintenseandunbearable。Theclockintheofficestruckhalf-pasttwelve。
\"ShallIwriteasecretreport？Proshkindid，andheroserapidly。\"
Nevyrazimovsatdownathistableandpondered。Thelampinwhichthekerosenehadquiterundrywassmokingviolentlyandthreateningtogoout。Thestraycockroachwasstillrunningaboutthetableandhadfoundnoresting-place。
\"Onecanalwayssendinasecretreport，buthowisonetomakeitup？Ishouldwanttomakeallsortsofinnuendoesandinsinuations，likeProshkin，andIcan’tdoit。IfImadeupanythingIshouldbethefirsttogetintotroubleforit。I’manass，damnmysoul！\"
AndNevyrazimov，rackinghisbrainforameansofescapefromhishopelessposition，staredattheroughcopyhehadwritten。Theletterwaswrittentoamanwhomhefearedandhatedwithhiswholesoul，andfromwhomhehadforthelasttenyearsbeentryingtowringapostwortheighteenroublesamonth，insteadoftheonehehadatsixteenroubles。
\"Ah，I’llteachyoutorunhere，youdevil！\"Heviciouslyslappedthepalmofhishandonthecockroach，whohadthemisfortunetocatchhiseye。\"Nastything！\"
Thecockroachfellonitsbackandwriggleditslegsindespair。
Nevyrazimovtookitbyonelegandthrewitintothelamp。Thelampflaredupandspluttered。
AndNevyrazimovfeltbetter。
THEREQUIEM
INthevillagechurchofVerhnyZaprudymasswasjustover。Thepeoplehadbegunmovingandweretroopingoutofchurch。TheonlyonewhodidnotmovewasAndreyAndreyitch，ashopkeeperandoldinhabitantofVerhnyZaprudy。Hestoodwaiting，withhiselbowsontherailingoftherightchoir。Hisfatandshavenface，coveredwithindentationsleftbypimples，expressedonthisoccasiontwocontradictoryfeelings：resignationinthefaceofinevitabledestiny，andstupid，unboundeddisdainforthesmocksandstripedkerchiefspassingbyhim。AsitwasSunday，hewasdressedlikeadandy。Heworealongclothovercoatwithyellowbonebuttons，bluetrousersnotthrustintohisboots，andsturdygoloshes——thehugeclumsygoloshesonlyseenonthefeetofpracticalandprudentpersonsoffirmreligiousconvictions。
Historpideyes，sunkinfat，werefixedupontheikonstand。Hesawthelongfamiliarfiguresofthesaints，thevergerMatveypuffingouthischeeksandblowingoutthecandles，thedarkenedcandlestands，thethreadbarecarpet，thesacristanLopuhovrunningimpulsivelyfromthealtarandcarryingtheholybreadtothechurchwarden……Allthesethingshehadseenforyears，andseenoverandoveragainlikethefivefingersofhishand……Therewasonlyonething，however，thatwassomewhatstrangeandunusual。FatherGrigory，stillinhisvestments，wasstandingatthenorthdoor，twitchinghisthickeyebrowsangrily。
\"Whoisitheiswinkingat？Godblesshim！\"thoughttheshopkeeper。\"Andheisbeckoningwithhisfinger！Andhestampedhisfoot！Whatnext！What’sthematter，HolyQueenandMother！
Whomdoeshemeanitfor？\"
AndreyAndreyitchlookedroundandsawthechurchcompletelydeserted。Thereweresometenpeoplestandingatthedoor，buttheyhadtheirbackstothealtar。
\"Docomewhenyouarecalled！Whydoyoustandlikeagravenimage？\"heheardFatherGrigory’sangryvoice。\"Iamcallingyou。\"
TheshopkeeperlookedatFatherGrigory’sredandwrathfulface，andonlythenrealizedthatthetwitchingeyebrowsandbeckoningfingermightrefertohim。Hestarted，lefttherailing，andhesitatinglywalkedtowardsthealtar，trampingwithhisheavygoloshes。
\"AndreyAndreyitch，wasityouaskedforprayersfortherestofMariya’ssoul？\"askedthepriest，hiseyesangrilytransfixingtheshopkeeper’sfat，perspiringface。
\"Yes，Father。\"
\"Thenitwasyouwrotethis？You？\"AndFatherGrigoryangrilythrustbeforehiseyesthelittlenote。
Andonthislittlenote，handedinbyAndreyAndreyitchbeforemass，waswritteninbig，asitwerestaggering，letters：
\"FortherestofthesouloftheservantofGod，theharlotMariya。\"
\"Yes，certainlyIwroteit，……\"answeredtheshopkeeper。
\"Howdaredyouwriteit？\"whisperedthepriest，andinhishuskywhispertherewasanoteofwrathandalarm。
Theshopkeeperlookedathiminblankamazement；hewasperplexed，andhe，too，wasalarmed。FatherGrigoryhadneverinhislifespokeninsuchatonetoaleadingresidentofVerhnyZaprudy。Bothweresilentforaminute，staringintoeachother’sface。Theshopkeeper’samazementwassogreatthathisfatfacespreadinalldirectionslikespiltdough。
\"Howdaredyou？\"repeatedthepriest。
\"Wha……what？\"askedAndreyAndreyitchinbewilderment。