THEFIRST-CLASSPASSENGER
AFIRST-CLASSpassengerwhohadjustdinedatthestationanddrunkalittletoomuchlaydownonthevelvet-coveredseat,stretchedhimselfoutluxuriously,andsankintoadoze。Afteranapofnomorethanfiveminutes,helookedwithoilyeyesathis_vis-a-vis,_gaveasmirk,andsaid:
\"Myfatherofblessedmemoryusedtoliketohavehisheelstickledbypeasantwomenafterdinner。Iamjustlikehim,withthisdifference,thatafterdinnerIalwayslikemytongueandmybrainsgentlystimulated。SinfulmanasIam,Ilikeemptytalkonafullstomach。Willyouallowmetohaveachatwithyou?\"
\"Ishallbedelighted,\"answeredthe_vis-a-vis。_
\"Afteragooddinnerthemosttriflingsubjectissufficienttoarousedevilishlygreatthoughtsinmybrain。Forinstance,wesawjustnowneartherefreshmentbartwoyoungmen,andyouheardonecongratulatetheotheronbeingcelebrated。’I
congratulateyou,’hesaid;’youarealreadyacelebrityandarebeginningtowinfame。’Evidentlyactorsorjournalistsofmicroscopicdimensions。Buttheyarenotthepoint。Thequestionthatisoccupyingmymindatthemoment,sir,isexactlywhatistobeunderstoodbytheword_fame_or_charity_。Whatdoyouthink?Pushkincalledfameabrightpatchonaraggedgarment;weallunderstanditasPushkindoes——thatis,moreorlesssubjectively——butnoonehasyetgivenaclear,logicaldefinitionoftheword……Iwouldgiveagooddealforsuchadefinition!\"
\"Whydoyoufeelsuchaneedforit?\"
\"Yousee,ifweknewwhatfameis,themeansofattainingitmightalsoperhapsbeknowntous,\"saidthefirst-classpassenger,afteramoment’sthought。Imusttellyou,sir,thatwhenIwasyoungerIstroveaftercelebritywitheveryfiberofmybeing。Tobepopularwasmycraze,sotospeak。ForthesakeofitIstudied,worked,satupatnight,neglectedmymeals。AndI
fancy,asfarasIcanjudgewithoutpartiality,Ihadallthenaturalgiftsforattainingit。Tobeginwith,Iamanengineerbyprofession。InthecourseofmylifeIhavebuiltinRussiasometwodozenmagnificentbridges,Ihavelaidaqueductsforthreetowns;IhaveworkedinRussia,inEngland,inBelgium……Secondly,Iamtheauthorofseveralspecialtreatisesinmyownline。Andthirdly,mydearsir,Ihavefromaboyhadaweaknessforchemistry。Studyingthatscienceinmyleisurehours,Idiscoveredmethodsofobtainingcertainorganicacids,sothatyouwillfindmynameinalltheforeignmanualsofchemistry。Ihavealwaysbeenintheservice,Ihaverisentothegradeofactualcivilcouncilor,andIhaveanunblemishedrecord。Iwillnotfatigueyourattentionbyenumeratingmyworksandmymerits,IwillonlysaythatIhavedonefarmorethansomecelebrities。AndyethereIaminmyoldage,Iamgettingreadyformycoffin,sotosay,andIamascelebratedasthatblackdogyonderrunningontheembankment。\"
\"Howcanyoutell?Perhapsyouarecelebrated。\"
\"H’m!Well,wewilltestitatonce。Tellme,haveyoueverheardthenameKrikunov?\"
The_vis-a-vis_raisedhiseyestotheceiling,thoughtaminute,andlaughed。
\"No,Ihaven’theardit,……\"hesaid。
\"Thatismysurname。You,amanofeducation,gettingoninyears,haveneverheardofme——aconvincingproof!ItisevidentthatinmyeffortstogainfameIhavenotdonetherightthingatall:Ididnotknowtherightwaytosettowork,and,tryingtocatchfamebythetail,gotonthewrongsideofher。\"
\"Whatistherightwaytosettowork?\"
\"Well,thedevilonlyknows!Talent,yousay?Genius?
Originality?Notabitofit,sir!……Peoplehavelivedandmadeacareersidebysidewithmewhowereworthless,trivial,andevencontemptiblecomparedwithme。Theydidnotdoone-tenthoftheworkIdid,didnotputthemselvesout,werenotdistinguishedfortheirtalents,anddidnotmakeanefforttobecelebrated,butjustlookatthem!Theirnamesarecontinuallyinthenewspapersandonmen’slips!IfyouarenottiredoflisteningIwillillustrateitbyanexample。SomeyearsagoI
builtabridgeinthetownofK。Imusttellyouthatthedullnessofthatscurvylittletownwasterrible。IfithadnotbeenforwomenandcardsIbelieveIshouldhavegoneoutofmymind。Well,it’sanoldstory:IwassoboredthatIgotintoanaffairwithasinger。Everyonewasenthusiasticabouther,thedevilonlyknowswhy;tomythinkingshewas——whatshallIsay?
——anordinary,commonplacecreature,likelotsofothers。Thehussywasempty-headed,ill-tempered,greedy,andwhat’smore,shewasafool。
\"Sheateanddrankavastamount,slepttillfiveoclockintheafternoon——andIfancydidnothingelse。Shewaslookeduponasacocotte,andthatwasindeedherprofession;butwhenpeoplewantedtorefertoherinaliteraryfashion,theycalledheranactressandasinger。Iusedtobedevotedtothetheatre,andthereforethisfraudulentpretenseofbeinganactressmademefuriouslyindignant。Myyoungladyhadnottheslightestrighttocallherselfanactressorasinger。Shewasacreatureentirelydevoidoftalent,devoidoffeeling——apitifulcreatureonemaysay。AsfarasIcanjudgeshesangdisgustingly。Thewholecharmofher’art’layinherkickingupherlegsoneverysuitableoccasion,andnotbeingembarrassedwhenpeoplewalkedintoherdressing-room。Sheusuallyselectedtranslatedvaudevilles,withsinginginthem,andopportunitiesfordisportingherselfinmaleattire,intights。Infactitwas——ough!Well,Iaskyourattention。AsIremembernow,apublicceremonytookplacetocelebratetheopeningofthenewlyconstructedbridge。Therewasareligiousservice,therewerespeeches,telegrams,andsoon。I
hungaboutmycherishedcreation,youknow,allthewhileafraidthatmyheartwouldburstwiththeexcitementofanauthor。Itsanoldstoryandthere’snoneedforfalsemodesty,andsoIwilltellyouthatmybridgewasamagnificentwork!Itwasnotabridgebutapicture,aperfectdelight!Andwhowouldnothavebeenexcitedwhenthewholetowncametotheopening?’Oh,’I
thought,’nowtheeyesofallthepublicwillbeonme!WhereshallIhidemyself?’Well,Ineednothaveworriedmyself,sir——alas!Excepttheofficialpersonages,noonetooktheslightestnoticeofme。Theystoodinacrowdontheriver-bank,gazedlikesheepatthebridge,anddidnotconcernthemselvestoknowwhohadbuiltit。Anditwasfromthattime,bytheway,thatIbegantohateourestimablepublic——damnationtakethem!Well,tocontinue。Allatoncethepublicbecameagitated;
awhisperranthroughthecrowd,……asmilecameontheirfaces,theirshouldersbegantomove。’Theymusthaveseenme,’I
thought。Alikelyidea!Ilooked,andmysinger,withatrainofyoungscamps,wasmakingherwaythroughthecrowd。Theeyesofthecrowdwerehurriedlyfollowingthisprocession。Awhisperbeganinathousandvoices:’That’sso-and-so……Charming!
Bewitching!’Thenitwastheynoticedme……Acoupleofyoungmilksops,localamateursofthescenicart,Ipresume,lookedatme,exchangedglances,andwhispered:’That’sherlover!’Howdoyoulikethat?Andanunprepossessingindividualinatop-hat,withachinthatbadlyneededshaving,hungroundme,shiftingfromonefoottotheother,thenturnedtomewiththewords:
\"’Doyouknowwhothatladyis,walkingontheotherbank?That’sso-and-so……Hervoiceisbeneathallcriticism,butshehasamostperfectmasteryofit!……’
\"’Canyoutellme,’Iaskedtheunprepossessingindividual,’whobuiltthisbridge?’
\"’Ireallydon’tknow,’answeredtheindividual;someengineer,Iexpect。’
\"’Andwhobuiltthecathedralinyourtown?’Iaskedagain。
\"’Ireallycan’ttellyou。’
\"ThenIaskedhimwhowasconsideredthebestteacherinK。,whothebestarchitect,andtoallmyquestionstheunprepossessingindividualansweredthathedidnotknow。
\"’Andtellme,please,’Iaskedinconclusion,withwhomisthatsingerliving?’
\"’WithsomeengineercalledKrikunov。’
\"Well,howdoyoulikethat,sir?Buttoproceed。Therearenominnesingersorbardsnowadays,andcelebrityiscreatedalmostexclusivelybythenewspapers。Thedayafterthededicationofthebridge,Igreedilysnatchedupthelocal_Messenger,_andlookedformyselfinit。Ispentalongtimerunningmyeyesoverallthefourpages,andatlastthereitwas——hurrah!Ibeganreading:’Yesterdayinbeautifulweather,beforeavastconcourseofpeople,inthepresenceofHisExcellencytheGovernoroftheprovince,so-and-so,andotherdignitaries,theceremonyofthededicationofthenewlyconstructedbridgetookplace,’andsoon……Towardstheend:Ourtalentedactressso-and-so,thefavoriteoftheK。public,waspresentatthededicationlookingverybeautiful。Ineednotsaythatherarrivalcreatedasensation。Thestarwaswearing……’andsoon。Theymighthavegivenmeoneword!Halfaword。Pettyasitseems,Iactuallycriedwithvexation!
\"Iconsoledmyselfwiththereflectionthattheprovincesarestupid,andonecouldexpectnothingofthemandforcelebrityonemustgototheintellectualcenters——toPetersburgandtoMoscow。Andasithappened,atthatverytimetherewasaworkofmineinPetersburgwhichIhadsentinforacompetition。Thedateonwhichtheresultwastobedeclaredwasathand。
\"ItookleaveofK。andwenttoPetersburg。ItisalongjourneyfromK。toPetersburg,andthatImightnotbeboredonthejourneyItookareservedcompartmentand——well——ofcourse,I
tookmysinger。Wesetoff,andallthewaywewereeating,drinkingchampagne,and——tra-la——la!Butbehold,atlastwereachtheintellectualcenter。Iarrivedontheverydaytheresultwasdeclared,andhadthesatisfaction,mydearsir,ofcelebratingmyownsuccess:myworkreceivedthefirstprize。
Hurrah!NextdayIwentoutalongtheNevskyandspentseventykopecksonvariousnewspapers。Ihastenedtomyhotelroom,laydownonthesofa,and,controllingaquiverofexcitement,madehastetoread。Iranthroughonenewspaper——nothing。Iranthroughasecond——nothingeither;myGod!Atlast,inthefourth,Ilighteduponthefollowingparagraph:’Yesterdaythewell-knownprovincialactressso-and-soarrivedbyexpressinPetersburg。WenotewithpleasurethattheclimateoftheSouthhashadabeneficialeffectonourfairfriend;hercharmingstageappearance……’andIdon’tremembertherest!MuchlowerdownthanthatparagraphIfound,printedinthesmallesttype:
firstprizeinthecompetitionwasadjudgedtoanengineercalledso-and-so。’Thatwasall!Andtomakethingsbetter,theyevenmisspeltmyname:insteadofKrikunovitwasKirkutlov。Somuchforyourintellectualcenter!Butthatwasnotall……BythetimeIleftPetersburg,amonthlater,allthenewspaperswerevyingwithoneanotherindiscussingourincomparable,divine,highlytalentedactress,andmymistresswasreferredto,notbyhersurname,butbyherChristiannameandherfather’s……
\"SomeyearslaterIwasinMoscow。Iwassummonedtherebyaletter,inthemayor’sownhandwriting,toundertakeaworkforwhichMoscow,initsnewspapers,hadbeenclamoringforoverahundredyears。IntheintervalsofmyworkIdeliveredfivepubliclectures,withaphilanthropicobject,inoneofthemuseumsthere。Onewouldhavethoughtthatwasenoughtomakeoneknowntothewholetownforthreedaysatleast,wouldn’tone?
But,alas!notasingleMoscowgazettesaidawordaboutmeTherewassomethingabouthousesonfire,aboutanoperetta,sleepingtowncouncilors,drunkenshopkeepers——abouteverything;butaboutmywork,myplans,mylectures——mum。AndanicesettheyareinMoscow!Igotintoatram……Itwaspackedfull;therewereladiesandmilitarymenandstudentsofbothsexes,creaturesofallsortsincouples。
\"’Iamtoldthetowncouncilhassentforanengineertoplansuchandsuchawork!’Isaidtomyneighbor,soloudlythatallthetramcouldhear。’Doyouknowthenameoftheengineer?’
\"Myneighborshookhishead。Therestofthepublictookacursoryglanceatme,andinalltheireyesIread:’Idon’tknow。’
\"’Iamtoldthatthereissomeonegivinglecturesinsuchandsuchamuseum?’Ipersisted,tryingtogetupaconversation。’I
hearitisinteresting。’
\"Nooneevennodded。Evidentlytheyhadnotallofthemheardofthelectures,andtheladieswerenotevenawareoftheexistenceofthemuseum。Allthatwouldnothavemattered,butimagine,mydearsir,thepeoplesuddenlyleapedtotheirfeetandstruggledtothewindows。Whatwasit?Whatwasthematter?
\"’Look,look!’myneighbornudgedme。’Doyouseethatdarkmangettingintothatcab?That’sthefamousrunner,King!’
\"AndthewholetrambegantalkingbreathlesslyoftherunnerwhowasthenabsorbingthebrainsofMoscow。
\"Icouldgiveyoueversomanyotherexamples,butIthinkthatisenough。NowletusassumethatIammistakenaboutmyself,thatIamawretchedlyboastfulandincompetentperson;butapartfrommyselfImightpointtomanyofmycontemporaries,menremarkablefortheirtalentandindustry,whohaveneverthelessdiedunrecognized。AreRussiannavigators,chemists,physicists,mechanicians,andagriculturistspopularwiththepublic?DoourcultivatedmassesknowanythingofRussianartists,sculptors,andliterarymen?Someoldliteraryhack,hard-workingandtalented,willwearawaythedoorstepofthepublishers’officesforthirty-threeyears,coverreamsofpaper,behadupforlibeltwentytimes,andyetnotstepbeyondhisant-heap。Canyoumentiontomeasinglerepresentativeofourliteraturewhowouldhavebecomecelebratediftherumorhadnotbeenspreadovertheearththathehadbeenkilledinaduel,goneoutofhismind,beensentintoexile,orhadcheatedatcards?\"
Thefirst-classpassengerwassoexcitedthathedroppedhiscigaroutofhismouthandgotup。
\"Yes,\"hewentonfiercely,\"andsidebysidewiththesepeopleI
canquoteyouhundredsofallsortsofsingers,acrobats,buffoons,whosenamesareknowntoeverybaby。Yes!\"
Thedoorcreaked,therewasadraught,andanindividualofforbiddingaspect,wearinganInvernesscoat,atop-hat,andbluespectacles,walkedintothecarriage。Theindividuallookedroundattheseats,frowned,andwentonfurther。
\"Doyouknowwhothatis?\"therecameatimidwhisperfromthefurthestcornerofthecompartment。
ThatisN。N。,thefamousTulacardsharperwhowashadupinconnectionwiththeY。bankaffair。\"
\"Thereyouare!\"laughedthefirst-classpassenger。HeknowsaTulacardsharper,butaskhimwhetherheknowsSemiradsky,Tchaykovsky,orSolovyovthephilosopher——he’llshakehishead……Itswinish!\"
Threeminutespassedinsilence。
\"Allowmeinmyturntoaskyouaquestion,\"saidthe_vis-a-vis_
timidly,clearinghisthroat。DoyouknowthenameofPushkov?\"
\"Pushkov?H’m!Pushkov……No,Idon’tknowit!\"
\"Thatismyname,……\"saidthe_vis-a-vis,_,overcomewithembarrassment。\"Thenyoudon’tknowit?AndyetIhavebeenaprofessoratoneoftheRussianuniversitiesforthirty-fiveyears,……amemberoftheAcademyofSciences,……havepublishedmorethanonework……\"
Thefirst-classpassengerandthe_vis-a-vis_lookedateachotherandburstoutlaughing。
ATRAGICACTOR
ITwasthebenefitnightofFenogenov,thetragicactor。Theywereacting\"PrinceSerebryany。\"ThetragedianhimselfwasplayingVyazemsky;Limonadov,thestagemanager,wasplayingMorozov;MadameBeobahtov,Elena。Theperformancewasagrandsuccess。Thetragedianaccomplishedwondersindeed。WhenhewascarryingoffElena,heheldherinonehandabovehisheadashedashedacrossthestage。Heshouted,hissed,bangedwithhisfeet,torehiscoatacrosshischest。WhenherefusedtofightMorozov,hetrembledalloverasnobodyevertremblesinreality,andgaspedloudly。Thetheatreshookwithapplause。Therewereendlesscalls。Fenogenovwaspresentedwithasilvercigarette-caseandabouquettiedwithlongribbons。Theladieswavedtheirhandkerchiefsandurgedtheirmentoapplaud,manyshedtears……ButtheonewhowasthemostenthusiasticandmostexcitedwasMasha,daughterofSidoretskythepolicecaptain。Shewassittinginthefirstrowofthestallsbesideherpapa;shewasecstaticandcouldnottakehereyesoffthestageevenbetweentheacts。Herdelicatelittlehandsandfeetwerequivering,hereyeswerefulloftears,hercheeksturnedpalerandpaler。Andnowonder——shewasatthetheatreforthefirsttimeinherlife。
\"Howwelltheyact!howsplendidly!\"shesaidtoherpapathepolicecaptain,everytimethecurtainfell。HowgoodFenogenovis!\"
Andifherpapahadbeencapableofreadingfaceshewouldhavereadonhisdaughter’spalelittlecountenancearapturethatwasalmostanguish。Shewasovercomebytheacting,bytheplay,bythesurroundings。Whentheregimentalbandbeganplayingbetweentheacts,sheclosedhereyes,exhausted。
\"Papa!\"shesaidtothepolicecaptainduringthelastinterval,\"gobehindthescenesandaskthemalltodinnerto-morrow!\"
Thepolicecaptainwentbehindthescenes,praisedthemforalltheirfineacting,andcomplimentedMadameBeobahtov。
\"Yourlovelyfacedemandsacanvas,andIonlywishIcouldwieldthebrush!\"
Andwithascrape,hethereuponinvitedthecompanytodinner。
\"Allexceptthefairsex,\"hewhispered。\"Idon’twanttheactresses,forIhaveadaughter。\"
Nextdaytheactorsdinedatthepolicecaptain’s。Onlythreeturnedup,themanagerLimonadov,thetragedianFenogenov,andthecomicmanVodolazov;theotherssentexcuses。Thedinnerwasadullaffair。Limonadovkepttellingthepolicecaptainhowmuchherespectedhim,andhowhighlyhethoughtofallpersonsinauthority;VodolazovmimickeddrunkenmerchantsandArmenians;
andFenogenov(onhispassporthisnamewasKnish),atall,stoutLittleRussianwithblackeyesandfrowningbrow,declaimed\"Attheportalsofthegreat,\"and\"Tobeornottobe。\"Limonadov,withtearsinhiseyes,describedhisinterviewwiththeformerGovernor,GeneralKanyutchin。Thepolicecaptainlistened,wasbored,andsmiledaffably。Hewaswellsatisfied,althoughLimonadovsmeltstronglyofburntfeathers,andFenogenovwaswearingahireddresscoatandbootstroddendownatheel。Theypleasedhisdaughterandmadeherlively,andthatwasenoughforhim。AndMashanevertookhereyesofftheactors。Shehadneverbeforeseensuchclever,exceptionalpeople!
IntheeveningthepolicecaptainandMashawereatthetheatreagain。Aweeklatertheactorsdinedatthepolicecaptain’sagain,andafterthatcamealmosteverydayeithertodinnerorsupper。Mashabecamemoreandmoredevotedtothetheatre,andwentthereeveryevening。
Shefellinlovewiththetragedian。Onefinemorning,whenthepolicecaptainhadgonetomeetthebishop,MasharanawaywithLimonadov’scompanyandmarriedherheroontheway。Aftercelebratingthewedding,theactorscomposedalongandtouchingletterandsentittothepolicecaptain。
Itwastheworkoftheircombinedefforts。
\"Bringoutthemotive,themotive!\"Limonadovkeptsayingashedictatedtothecomicman。\"Layontherespect……Theseofficialchapslikeit。Addsomethingofasort……todrawatear。\"
Theanswertothisletterwasmostdiscomforting。Thepolicecaptaindisownedhisdaughterformarrying,ashesaid,\"astupid,idleLittleRussianwithnofixedhomeoroccupation。\"
AndthedayafterthisanswerwasreceivedMashawaswritingtoherfather。
\"Papa,hebeatsme!Forgiveus!\"
Hehadbeatenher,beatenherbehindthescenes,inthepresenceofLimonadov,thewasherwoman,andtwolightingmen。Herememberedhow,fourdaysbeforethewedding,hewassittingintheLondonTavernwiththewholecompany,andallweretalkingaboutMasha。Thecompanywereadvisinghimto\"chanceit,\"andLimonadov,withtearsinhiseyesurged:\"Itwouldbestupidandirrationaltoletslipsuchanopportunity!Why,forasumlikethatonewouldgotoSiberia,letalonegettingmarried!Whenyoumarryandhaveatheatreofyourown,takemeintoyourcompany。Ishan’tbemasterthen,you’llbemaster。\"
Fenogenovrememberedit,andmutteredwithclenchedfists:
\"Ifhedoesn’tsendmoneyI’llsmashher!Iwon’tletmyselfbemadeafoolof,damnmysoul!\"
AtoneprovincialtownthecompanytriedtogiveMashatheslip,butMashafoundout,rantothestation,andgottherewhenthesecondbellhadrungandtheactorshadalltakentheirseats。
\"I’vebeenshamefullytreatedbyyourfather,\"saidthetragedian;\"allisoverbetweenus!\"
Andthoughthecarriagewasfullofpeople,shewentdownonherkneesandheldoutherhands,imploringhim:
\"Iloveyou!Don’tdrivemeaway,KondratyIvanovitch,\"shebesoughthim。\"Ican’tlivewithoutyou!\"
Theylistenedtoherentreaties,andafterconsultingtogether,tookherintothecompanyasa\"countess\"——thenametheyusedfortheminoractresseswhousuallycameontothestageincrowdsorindumbparts。TobeginwithMashausedtoplaymaid-servantsandpages,butwhenMadameBeobahtov,theflowerofLimonadov’scompany,eloped,theymadeher_ingenue_。Sheactedbadly,lisped,andwasnervous。Shesoongrewusedtoit,however,andbegantobelikedbytheaudience。Fenogenovwasmuchdispleased。
\"Tocallheranactress!\"heusedtosay。\"Shehasnofigure,nodeportment,nothingwhateverbutsilliness。\"
InoneprovincialtownthecompanyactedSchiller’s\"Robbers。\"
FenogenovplayedFranz,Masha,Amalie。Thetragedianshoutedandquivered。Masharepeatedherpartlikeawell-learntlesson,andtheplaywouldhavegoneoffastheygenerallydidhaditnotbeenforatriflingmishap。EverythingwentwelluptothepointwhereFranzdeclareshisloveforAmalieandsheseizeshissword。Thetragedianshouted,hissed,quivered,andsqueezedMashainhisironembrace。AndMasha,insteadofrepulsinghimandcrying\"Hence!\"trembledinhisarmslikeabirdanddidnotmove,……sheseemedpetrified。
\"Havepityonme!\"shewhisperedinhisear。\"Oh,havepityonme!Iamsomiserable!\"
\"Youdon’tknowyourpart!Listentotheprompter!\"hissedthetragedian,andhethrusthisswordintoherhand。
Aftertheperformance,LimonadovandFenogenovweresittingintheticketbox-officeengagedinconversation。
\"Yourwifedoesnotlearnherpart,youarerightthere,\"themanagerwassaying。\"Shedoesn’tknowherline……Everymanhashisownline,……butshedoesn’tknowhers……\"
Fenogenovlistened,sighed,andscowledandscowled。
Nextmorning,Mashawassittinginalittlegeneralshopwriting:
\"Papa,hebeatsme!Forgiveus!Sendussomemoney!\"
ATRANSGRESSION
ACOLLEGIATEassessorcalledMiguevstoppedatatelegraph-postinthecourseofhiseveningwalkandheavedadeepsigh。Aweekbefore,ashewasreturninghomefromhiseveningwalk,hehadbeenovertakenatthatveryspotbyhisformerhousemaid,Agnia,whosaidtohimviciously:
\"Waitabit!I’llcookyousuchacrabthat’llteachyoutoruininnocentgirls!I’llleavethebabyatyourdoor,andI’llhavethelawofyou,andI’lltellyourwife,too……\"
Andshedemandedthatheshouldputfivethousandroublesintothebankinhername。Miguevrememberedit,heavedasigh,andoncemorereproachedhimselfwithheartfeltrepentanceforthemomentaryinfatuationwhichhadcausedhimsomuchworryandmisery。
Whenhereachedhisbungalow,hesatdowntorestonthedoorstep。Itwasjustteno’clock,andabitofthemoonpeepedoutfrombehindtheclouds。Therewasnotasoulinthestreetnornearthebungalows;elderlysummervisitorswerealreadygoingtobed,whileyoungoneswerewalkinginthewood。Feelinginbothhispocketsforamatchtolighthiscigarette,Miguevbroughthiselbowintocontactwithsomethingsoft。Helookedidlyathisrightelbow,andhisfacewasinstantlycontortedbyalookofasmuchhorrorasthoughhehadseenasnakebesidehim。Onthestepattheverydoorlayabundle。Somethingoblonginshapewaswrappedupinsomething——judgingbythefeelofit,awaddedquilt。Oneendofthebundlewasalittleopen,andthecollegiateassessor,puttinginhishand,feltsomethingdampandwarm。Heleapedontohisfeetinhorror,andlookedabouthimlikeacriminaltryingtoescapefromhiswarders……
\"Shehasleftit!\"hemutteredwrathfullythroughhisteeth,clenchinghisfists。\"Hereitlies……Hereliesmytransgression!OLord!\"
Hewasnumbwithterror,anger,andshame……Whatwashetodonow?Whatwouldhiswifesayifshefoundout?Whatwouldhiscolleaguesattheofficesay?HisExcellencywouldbesuretodighimintheribs,guffaw,andsay:\"Icongratulateyou!……
He-he-he!Thoughyourbeardisgray,yourheartisgay……Youarearogue,SemyonErastovitch!\"Thewholecolonyofsummervisitorswouldknowhissecretnow,andprobablytherespectablemothersoffamilieswouldshuttheirdoorstohim。
Suchincidentsalwaysgetintothepapers,andthehumblenameofMiguevwouldbepublishedalloverRussia……
Themiddlewindowofthebungalowwasopenandhecoulddistinctlyhearhiswife,AnnaFilippovna,layingthetableforsupper;intheyardclosetothegateYermolay,theporter,wasplaintivelystrummingonthebalalaika。Thebabyhadonlytowakeupandbegintocry,andthesecretwouldbediscovered。Miguevwasconsciousofanoverwhelmingdesiretomakehaste。
\"Haste,haste!……\"hemuttered,\"thisminute,beforeanyonesees。I’llcarryitawayandlayitonsomebody’sdoorstep……\"
Miguevtookthebundleinonehandandquietly,withadeliberatesteptoavoidawakeningsuspicion,wentdownthestreet……
\"Awonderfullynastyposition!\"hereflected,tryingtoassumeanairofunconcern。\"Acollegiateassessorwalkingdownthestreetwithababy!Goodheavens!ifanyoneseesmeandunderstandstheposition,Iamdonefor……I’dbetterputitonthisdoorstep……No,stay,thewindowsareopenandperhapssomeoneislooking。WhereshallIputit?Iknow!I’lltakeittothemerchantMyelkin’s……Merchantsarerichpeopleandtenderhearted;verylikelytheywillsaythankyouandadoptit。\"
AndMiguevmadeuphismindtotakethebabytoMyelkin’s,althoughthemerchant’svillawasinthefurtheststreet,closetotheriver。
\"Ifonlyitdoesnotbeginscreamingorwriggleoutofthebundle,\"thoughtthecollegiateassessor。\"Thisisindeedapleasantsurprise!HereIamcarryingahumanbeingundermyarmasthoughitwereaportfolio。Ahumanbeing,alive,withsoul,withfeelingslikeanyoneelse……IfbygoodlucktheMyelkinsadopthim,hemayturnoutsomebody……Maybehewillbecomeaprofessor,agreatgeneral,anauthor……Anythingmayhappen!NowIamcarryinghimundermyarmlikeabundleofrubbish,andperhapsinthirtyorfortyyearsImaynotdaretositdowninhispresence……
AsMiguevwaswalkingalonganarrow,desertedalley,besidealongrowoffences,inthethickblackshadeofthelimetrees,itsuddenlystruckhimthathewasdoingsomethingverycruelandcriminal。
\"Howmeanitisreally!\"hethought。\"Someanthatonecan’timagineanythingmeaner……Whyareweshiftingthispoorbabyfromdoortodoor?It’snotitsfaultthatit’sbeenborn。It’sdoneusnoharm。Wearescoundrels……Wetakeourpleasure,andtheinnocentbabieshavetopaythepenalty。Onlytothinkofallthiswretchedbusiness!
I’vedonewrongandthechildhasacruelfatebeforeit。IfI
layitattheMyelkins’door,they’llsendittothefoundlinghospital,andthereitwillgrowupamongstrangers,inmechanicalroutine,……nolove,nopetting,nospoiling……
Andthenhe’llbeapprenticedtoashoemaker,……he’lltaketodrink,willlearntousefilthylanguage,willgohungry。A
shoemaker!andhethesonofacollegiateassessor,ofgoodfamily……Heismyfleshandblood,……\"
Miguevcameoutoftheshadeofthelimetreesintothebrightmoonlightoftheopenroad,andopeningthebundle,helookedatthebaby。
\"Asleep!\"hemurmured。\"Youlittlerascal!why,you’veanaquilinenoselikeyourfather’s……Hesleepsanddoesn’tfeelthatit’shisownfatherlookingathim!……It’sadrama,myboy……Well,well,youmustforgiveme。Forgiveme,oldboy……Itseemsit’syourfate……\"
Thecollegiateassessorblinkedandfeltaspasmrunningdownhischeeks……Hewrappedupthebaby,puthimunderhisarm,andstrodeon。AllthewaytotheMyelkins’villasocialquestionswereswarminginhisbrainandconsciencewasgnawinginhisbosom。
\"IfIwereadecent,honestman,hethought,\"Ishoulddamneverything,gowiththisbabytoAnnaFilippovna,fallonmykneesbeforeher,andsay:’Forgiveme!Ihavesinned!Tortureme,butwewon’truinaninnocentchild。Wehavenochildren;letusadopthim!\"She’sagoodsort,she’dconsent……Andthenmychildwouldbewithme……Ech!\"
HereachedtheMyelkins’villaandstoodstillhesitating。Heimaginedhimselfintheparlorathome,sittingreadingthepaperwhilealittleboywithanaquilinenoseplayedwiththetasselsofhisdressinggown。Atthesametimevisionsforcedthemselvesonhisbrainofhiswinkingcolleagues,andofhisExcellencydigginghimintheribsandguffawing……Besidestheprickingofhisconscience,therewassomethingwarm,sad,andtenderinhisheart……
Cautiouslythecollegiateassessorlaidthebabyontheverandahstepandwavedhishand。Againhefeltaspasmrunoverhisface……
\"Forgiveme,oldfellow!Iamascoundrel,hemuttered。\"Don’trememberevilagainstme。\"
Hesteppedback,butimmediatelyclearedhisthroatresolutelyandsaid:
\"Oh,comewhatwill!Damnitall!I’lltakehim,andletpeoplesaywhattheylike!\"
Miguevtookthebabyandstroderapidlyback。
\"Letthemsaywhattheylike,\"hethought。\"I’llgoatonce,fallonmyknees,andsay:’AnnaFilippovna!’Annaisagoodsort,she’llunderstand……Andwe’llbringhimup……Ifit’saboywe’llcallhimVladimir,andifit’sagirlwe’llcallherAnna!Anyway,itwillbeacomfortinouroldage。\"
Andhedidashedetermined。Weepingandalmostfaintwithshameandterror,fullofhopeandvaguerapture,hewentintohisbungalow,wentuptohiswife,andfellonhiskneesbeforeher。
\"AnnaFilippovna!\"hesaidwithasob,andhelaidthebabyonthefloor。\"Hearmebeforeyoupunish……Ihavesinned!Thisismychild……YourememberAgnia?Well,itwasthedevildrovemetoit……\"
And,almostunconsciouswithshameandterror,hejumpedupwithoutwaitingforananswer,andranoutintotheopenairasthoughhehadreceivedathrashing……
\"I’llstayhereoutsidetillshecallsme,\"hethought。\"I’llgivehertimetorecover,andtothinkitover……\"
TheporterYermolaypassedhimwithhisbalalaika,glancedathimandshruggedhisshoulders。Aminutelaterhepassedhimagain,andagainheshruggedhisshoulders。
\"Here’sago!Didyouever!\"hemutteredgrinning。\"Aksinya,thewasher-woman,washerejustnow,SemyonErastovitch。Thesillywomanputherbabydownonthestepshere,andwhileshewasindoorswithme,someonetookandcarriedoffthebaby……
Who’dhavethoughtit!\"
\"What?Whatareyousaying?\"shoutedMiguevatthetopofhisvoice。
Yermolay,interpretinghismaster’swrathinhisownfashion,scratchedhisheadandheavedasigh。
\"Iamsorry,SemyonErastovitch,\"hesaid,\"butit’sthesummerholidays,……onecan’tgetonwithout……withoutawoman,I
mean……\"
Andglancingathismaster’seyesglaringathimwithangerandastonishment,heclearedhisthroatguiltilyandwenton:
\"It’sasin,ofcourse,butthere——whatisonetodo?……
You’veforbiddenustohavestrangersinthehouse,Iknow,butwe’venoneofourownnow。WhenAgniawashereIhadnowomentoseeme,forIhadoneathome;butnow,youcanseeforyourself,sir,……onecan’thelphavingstrangers。InAgnia’stime,ofcourse,therewasnothingirregular,because……\"
\"Beoff,youscoundrel!\"Miguevshoutedathim,stamping,andhewentbackintotheroom。
AnnaFilippovna,amazedandwrathful,wassittingasbefore,hertear-stainedeyesfixedonthebaby……
\"There!there!\"Miguevmutteredwithapaleface,twistinghislipsintoasmile。\"Itwasajoke……It’snotmybaby,……
it’sthewasher-woman’s!……I……Iwasjoking……Takeittotheporter。\"
SMALLFRY
\"HONOREDSir,FatherandBenefactor!\"apettyclerkcalledNevyrazimovwaswritingaroughcopyofanEastercongratulatoryletter。\"ItrustthatyoumayspendthisHolyDayevenasmanymoretocome,ingoodhealthandprosperity。AndtoyourfamilyalsoI……\"
Thelamp,inwhichthekerosenewasgettinglow,wassmokingandsmelling。AstraycockroachwasrunningaboutthetableinalarmnearNevyrazimov’swritinghand。TworoomsawayfromtheofficeParamontheporterwasforthethirdtimecleaninghisbestboots,andwithsuchenergythatthesoundoftheblacking-brushandofhisexpectorationswasaudibleinalltherooms。
\"WhatelsecanIwritetohim,therascal?\"Nevyrazimovwondered,raisinghiseyestothesmuttyceiling。
Ontheceilinghesawadarkcircle——theshadowofthelamp-shade。Belowitwasthedustycornice,andlowerstillthewall,whichhadoncebeenpaintedabluishmuddycolor。Andtheofficeseemedtohimsuchaplaceofdesolationthathefeltsorry,notonlyforhimself,butevenforthecockroach。
\"WhenIamoffdutyIshallgoaway,buthe’llbeondutyhereallhiscockroach-life,\"hethought,stretching。\"Iambored!
ShallIcleanmyboots?\"
Andstretchingoncemore,Nevyrazimovslouchedlazilytotheporter’sroom。Paramonhadfinishedcleaninghisboots。Crossinghimselfwithonehandandholdingthebrushintheother,hewasstandingattheopenwindow-pane,listening。
\"They’reringing,\"hewhisperedtoNevyrazimov,lookingathimwitheyesintentandwideopen。\"Already!\"
Nevyrazimovputhiseartotheopenpaneandlistened。TheEasterchimesfloatedintotheroomwithawhiffoffreshspringair。
Theboomingofthebellsmingledwiththerumbleofcarriages,andabovethechaosofsoundsrosethebrisktenortonesofthenearestchurchandaloudshrilllaugh。
\"Whatalotofpeople!\"sighedNevyrazimov,lookingdownintothestreet,whereshadowsofmenflittedoneafteranotherbytheilluminationlamps。\"They’reallhurryingtothemidnightservice……Ourfellowshavehadadrinkbynow,youmaybesure,andarestrollingaboutthetown。Whatalotoflaughter,whatalotoftalk!I’mtheonlyunluckyone,tohavetosithereonsuchaday:AndIhavetodoiteveryyear!\"
\"Well,nobodyforcesyoutotakethejob。It’snotyourturntobeondutytoday,butZastupovhiredyoutotakehisplace。Whenotherfolksareenjoyingthemselvesyouhireyourselfout。It’sgreediness!\"
\"Devilabitofit!Notmuchtobegreedyover——tworoublesisallhegivesme;anecktieasanextra……It’spoverty,notgreediness。Anditwouldbejolly,now,youknow,tobegoingwithapartytotheservice,andthentobreakthefast……
Todrinkandtohaveabitofsupperandtumbleofftosleep……Onesitsdowntothetable,there’sanEastercakeandthesamovarhissing,andsomecharminglittlethingbesideyou……
Youdrinkaglassandchuckherunderthechin,andit’sfirst-
rate……Youfeelyou’resomebody……Echh-h!……I’vemadeamessofthings!Lookatthathussydrivingbyinhercarriage,whileIhavetosithereandbrood。\"
\"Weeachhaveourlotinlife,IvanDanilitch。PleaseGod,you’llbepromotedanddriveaboutinyourcarriageoneday。\"
\"I?No,brother,notlikely。Ishan’tgetbeyonda’titular,’notifItrytillIburst。I’mnotaneducatedman。\"
\"OurGeneralhasnoeducationeither,but……\"
\"Well,buttheGeneralstoleahundredthousandbeforehegothisposition。Andhe’sgotverydifferentmannersanddeportmentfromme,brother。Withmymannersanddeportmentonecan’tgetfar!
Andsuchascoundrellysurname,Nevyrazimov!It’sahopelessposition,infact。Onemaygoonasoneis,oronemayhangoneself……\"
Hemovedawayfromthewindowandwalkedwearilyabouttherooms。
Thedinofthebellsgrewlouderandlouder……Therewasnoneedtostandbythewindowtohearit。Andthebetterhecouldhearthebellsandtheloudertheroarofthecarriages,thedarkerseemedthemuddywallsandthesmuttycorniceandthemorethelampsmoked。
\"ShallIhookitandleavetheoffice?\"thoughtNevyrazimov。
Butsuchaflightpromisednothingworthhaving……Aftercomingoutoftheofficeandwanderingaboutthetown,Nevyrazimovwouldhavegonehometohislodging,andinhislodgingitwasevengrayerandmoredepressingthanintheoffice……
Evensupposingheweretospendthatdaypleasantlyandwithcomfort,whathadhebeyond?Nothingbutthesamegraywalls,thesamestop-gapdutyandcomplimentaryletters……
Nevyrazimovstoodstillinthemiddleoftheofficeandsankintothought。Theyearningforanew,betterlifegnawedathisheartwithanintolerableache。Hehadapassionatelongingtofindhimselfsuddenlyinthestreet,tominglewiththelivingcrowd,totakepartinthesolemnfestivityforthesakeofwhichallthosebellswereclashingandthosecarriageswererumbling。Helongedforwhathehadknowninchildhood——thefamilycircle,thefestivefacesofhisownpeople,thewhitecloth,light,warmth……!Hethoughtofthecarriageinwhichtheladyhadjustdrivenby,theovercoatinwhichtheheadclerkwassosmart,thegoldchainthatadornedthesecretary’schest……
Hethoughtofawarmbed,oftheStanislavorder,ofnewboots,ofauniformwithoutholesintheelbows……Hethoughtofallthosethingsbecausehehadnoneofthem。
\"ShallIsteal?\"hethought。\"Evenifstealingisaneasymatter,hidingiswhat’sdifficult。MenrunawaytoAmerica,theysay,withwhatthey’vestolen,butthedevilknowswherethatblessedAmericais。Onemusthaveeducationeventosteal,itseems。\"
Thebellsdieddown。HeheardonlyadistantnoiseofcarriagesandParamon’scough,whilehisdepressionandangergrewmoreandmoreintenseandunbearable。Theclockintheofficestruckhalf-pasttwelve。
\"ShallIwriteasecretreport?Proshkindid,andheroserapidly。\"
Nevyrazimovsatdownathistableandpondered。Thelampinwhichthekerosenehadquiterundrywassmokingviolentlyandthreateningtogoout。Thestraycockroachwasstillrunningaboutthetableandhadfoundnoresting-place。
\"Onecanalwayssendinasecretreport,buthowisonetomakeitup?Ishouldwanttomakeallsortsofinnuendoesandinsinuations,likeProshkin,andIcan’tdoit。IfImadeupanythingIshouldbethefirsttogetintotroubleforit。I’manass,damnmysoul!\"
AndNevyrazimov,rackinghisbrainforameansofescapefromhishopelessposition,staredattheroughcopyhehadwritten。Theletterwaswrittentoamanwhomhefearedandhatedwithhiswholesoul,andfromwhomhehadforthelasttenyearsbeentryingtowringapostwortheighteenroublesamonth,insteadoftheonehehadatsixteenroubles。
\"Ah,I’llteachyoutorunhere,youdevil!\"Heviciouslyslappedthepalmofhishandonthecockroach,whohadthemisfortunetocatchhiseye。\"Nastything!\"
Thecockroachfellonitsbackandwriggleditslegsindespair。
Nevyrazimovtookitbyonelegandthrewitintothelamp。Thelampflaredupandspluttered。
AndNevyrazimovfeltbetter。
THEREQUIEM
INthevillagechurchofVerhnyZaprudymasswasjustover。Thepeoplehadbegunmovingandweretroopingoutofchurch。TheonlyonewhodidnotmovewasAndreyAndreyitch,ashopkeeperandoldinhabitantofVerhnyZaprudy。Hestoodwaiting,withhiselbowsontherailingoftherightchoir。Hisfatandshavenface,coveredwithindentationsleftbypimples,expressedonthisoccasiontwocontradictoryfeelings:resignationinthefaceofinevitabledestiny,andstupid,unboundeddisdainforthesmocksandstripedkerchiefspassingbyhim。AsitwasSunday,hewasdressedlikeadandy。Heworealongclothovercoatwithyellowbonebuttons,bluetrousersnotthrustintohisboots,andsturdygoloshes——thehugeclumsygoloshesonlyseenonthefeetofpracticalandprudentpersonsoffirmreligiousconvictions。
Historpideyes,sunkinfat,werefixedupontheikonstand。Hesawthelongfamiliarfiguresofthesaints,thevergerMatveypuffingouthischeeksandblowingoutthecandles,thedarkenedcandlestands,thethreadbarecarpet,thesacristanLopuhovrunningimpulsivelyfromthealtarandcarryingtheholybreadtothechurchwarden……Allthesethingshehadseenforyears,andseenoverandoveragainlikethefivefingersofhishand……Therewasonlyonething,however,thatwassomewhatstrangeandunusual。FatherGrigory,stillinhisvestments,wasstandingatthenorthdoor,twitchinghisthickeyebrowsangrily。
\"Whoisitheiswinkingat?Godblesshim!\"thoughttheshopkeeper。\"Andheisbeckoningwithhisfinger!Andhestampedhisfoot!Whatnext!What’sthematter,HolyQueenandMother!
Whomdoeshemeanitfor?\"
AndreyAndreyitchlookedroundandsawthechurchcompletelydeserted。Thereweresometenpeoplestandingatthedoor,buttheyhadtheirbackstothealtar。
\"Docomewhenyouarecalled!Whydoyoustandlikeagravenimage?\"heheardFatherGrigory’sangryvoice。\"Iamcallingyou。\"
TheshopkeeperlookedatFatherGrigory’sredandwrathfulface,andonlythenrealizedthatthetwitchingeyebrowsandbeckoningfingermightrefertohim。Hestarted,lefttherailing,andhesitatinglywalkedtowardsthealtar,trampingwithhisheavygoloshes。
\"AndreyAndreyitch,wasityouaskedforprayersfortherestofMariya’ssoul?\"askedthepriest,hiseyesangrilytransfixingtheshopkeeper’sfat,perspiringface。
\"Yes,Father。\"
\"Thenitwasyouwrotethis?You?\"AndFatherGrigoryangrilythrustbeforehiseyesthelittlenote。
Andonthislittlenote,handedinbyAndreyAndreyitchbeforemass,waswritteninbig,asitwerestaggering,letters:
\"FortherestofthesouloftheservantofGod,theharlotMariya。\"
\"Yes,certainlyIwroteit,……\"answeredtheshopkeeper。
\"Howdaredyouwriteit?\"whisperedthepriest,andinhishuskywhispertherewasanoteofwrathandalarm。
Theshopkeeperlookedathiminblankamazement;hewasperplexed,andhe,too,wasalarmed。FatherGrigoryhadneverinhislifespokeninsuchatonetoaleadingresidentofVerhnyZaprudy。Bothweresilentforaminute,staringintoeachother’sface。Theshopkeeper’samazementwassogreatthathisfatfacespreadinalldirectionslikespiltdough。
\"Howdaredyou?\"repeatedthepriest。
\"Wha……what?\"askedAndreyAndreyitchinbewilderment。