HAMILTON
Quiteso。Farewell。
JohnBrownThoughforyoursakeIwouldnothaveyounowSoneartometonightasnowyouare,GodknowshowmuchastrangertomyheartWasanycoldwordthatImayhavewritten;
Andyou,poorwomanthatImademywife,Youhavehadmoreofloneliness,Ifear,ThanI——thoughIhavebeenthemostalone,Evenwhenthemostattended。SoitwasGodsetthemarkofhisinscrutableNecessityononethatwastogrope,Andserve,andsuffer,andwithalbegladForwhatwashis,andis,andistobe,Whenhisoldbones,thatareaburdennow,AresayingwhatthemanwhocarriedthemHadnotthepowertosay。Bonesinagrave,Coverthemastheywillwithchokingearth,Mayshoutthetruthtomenwhoputthemthere,Morethanallorators。Andso,mydear,SinceyouhavecheatedwisdomforthesakeOfsorrow,letyoursorrowbeforyou,Thislastofnightsbeforethelastofdays,ThelyingghostofwhatthereisofmeThatisthemostalive。ThereisnodeathFormeinwhattheydo。TheirdeathitisTheyshouldheedmostwhenthesuncomesagainTomakethemsolemn。TherearesomeIknowWhoseeyeswillhardlyseetheiroccupation,Fortearsinthem——andallforoneoldman;
Forsomeofthemwillpitythisoldman,WhotookuponhimselftheworkofGodBecausehepitiedmillions。ThatwillbeForthem,Ifancy,theircompassionateBestwayofsayingwhatisbestinthemTosay;fortheycansaynomorethanthat,AndtheycandonomorethanwhatthedawnOfonemoredayshallgivethemlightenoughTodo。Buttherearemanydaystobe,Andtherearemanymentogivetheirblood,AsIgavemineforthem。Maytheycomesoon!
Maytheycomesoon,Isay。Andwhentheycome,MayallthatIhavesaidunheardbeheard,Provingatlast,ormaybenot——nomatter——
WhatsortofmadnesswasthepartofmeThatmademestrike,whetherIfoundthemarkOrmissedit。Meanwhile,I’veastrangecontent,Apatience,andavastindifferenceTowhatmensayofmeandwhatmenfearTosay。Therewasaworktobebegun,AndwhentheVoice,thatIhaveheardsolong,AnnouncedasinathousandsilencesAnendofpreparation,IbeganThecomingworkofdeathwhichistobe,Thatlifemaybe。ThereisnootherwayThantheoldwayofwarforanewlandThatwillnotknowitselfandistonightAstrangertoitself,andtotheworldAmoreprodigiousupstartamongstatesThanIwasamongmen,andsoshallbeTilltheyaretoldandtold,andtoldagain;
Formenarechildren,waitingtobetold,Andmostofthemarechildrenalltheirlives。
ThegoodGodinhiswisdomhadthemso,ThatnowandthenamadmanoraseerMayshakethemoutoftheircomplacencyAndshamethemintodeeds。ThemajorfileSeeonlywhattheirfathersmayhaveseen,Ormayhavesaidtheysawwhentheysawnothing。
Idonotsayitmatterswhattheysaw。
NowandagaintosomelonesoulorotherGodspeaks,andthereishangingtobedone,——
AsoncetherewasaburningofourbodiesAlive,albeitoursoulsweresorryfuel。
Butnowthefiresarefew,andwearepoisedAccordingly,forthestate’sbenefit,Afewstillminutesbetweenheavenandearth。
Thepurposeis,whentheyhaveseenenoughOfwhatitisthattheyarenottosee,Topluckmeasanunripefruitoftreason,AndthentoflingmebacktothesameearthOfwhichtheyare,asIsuppose,theflower——
NotgiventoknowtheriperfruitthatwaitsForamorecomprehensiveharvesting。
Yes,maytheycome,andsoon。AgainIsay,Maytheycomesoon!——beforetoomanyofthemShallbethebloodycostofourdefection。
Whenhellwaitsonthedawnofanewstate,Betteritwerethathellshouldnotwaitlong,——
OrsoitisIseeitwhoshouldseeAsfarorfartherintotimetonightThantheywhotalkandtrembleformenow,OrwishmetothoseeverlastingfiresThatareformenofear。ToomanyfiresHavesoughtmeoutandsearedmetothebone——
Thereby,forallIknow,totempermeForwhatwasminetodo。IfIdidillWhatIdidwell,letmensayIwasmad;
OrletmynameforeverbeaquestionThatwillnotsleepinhistory。WhatmensayIwaswillcoolnocannon,dullnosword,Invalidatenotruth。Meanwhile,Iwas;
Andthelongtrainislightedthatshallburn,Thoughfloodsofwrathmaydrenchit,andhotfeetMaystampitforaslighttimeintosmokeThatshallblazeupagainwithgrowingspeed,UntilatlastafierycrashwillcomeTocleanseandshakeawoundedhemisphere,AndhealitofalongmalignityThatangrytimediscreditsanddisowns。
Tonighttherearemensayingmanythings;
AndsomewhoseelifeinthelastofmeWillanswerfirstthecomingcalltodeath;
Fordeathiswhatiscoming,andthenlife。
IdonotsayagainforthedullsakeOfspeechwhatyouhaveheardmesaybefore,ButratherforthesakeofallIam,AndallGodmadeofme。AmantodieAsIdomusthavedonesomeotherworkThanman’salone。Iwasnotafterglory,Buttherewasglorywithme,likeafriend,Throughoutthosecripplingyearswhenfriendswerefew,AndfearfultobeknownbytheirownnamesWhenminewasvilifiedfortheirapproval。
Yetfriendstheyare,andtheydidwhatwasgivenTheirwilltodo;theycouldhavedonenomore。
Iwastheonemanmadenough,itseems,Todomywork;andnowmyworkisover。
Andyou,mydear,arenottomournforme,Orforyoursons,morethanasoulshouldmournInParadise,donewithevilandwithearth。
ThereisnotmuchofearthinwhatremainsForyou;andwhattheremaybeleftofitForyourenduranceyoushallhaveatlastInpeace,withoutthetwingeofanyfearFormycondition;forIshallbedoneWithplansandactionsthathaveheretoforeMadeyourdayslongandyournightsominousWithdarknessandthemanydistancesThatwerebetweenus。Whenthesilencecomes,IshallinfaithbenearertoyouthenThanIamnowinfact。WhatyouseenowIsonlytheoutsideofanoldman,Olderthanyearshavemadehim。Lethimdie,Andlethimbeathingforlittlegrief。
Therewasatimeforservice,andheserved;
AndthereisnomoretimeforanythingButashortgratefulnesstothosewhogaveTheirscaredallegiancetoanenterpriseThathasthenameoftreason——whichwillserveAswellasanyotherforthepresent。
Therearesomedeedsofmenthathavenonames,Andminemaylikeasnotbeoneofthem。
Iamnotlookingfarfornamestonight。
TheKingofGlorywaswithoutanameUntilmengavehimone;yetthereHewas,BeforewefoundHimandaffrontedHimWithnumerousingenuitiesofevil,Ofwhichone,withHisaid,istobesweptAndwashedoutoftheworldwithfireandblood。
OnceIbelieveditmighthavecometopassWithasmallcostofblood;butIwasdreaming——
DreamingthatIbelieved。TheVoiceIheardWhenIleftyoubehindmeinthenorth,——
TowaitthereandtowonderandgrowoldOfloneliness,——toldonlywhatwasbest,Andwithasavingvagueness,IshouldknowTillIknewmore。AndhadIknowneventhen——
Aftergrimyearsofsearchandsuffering,Somanyofthemtoendastheybegan——
AftermysickeningdoubtsandestimationsOfplansabandonedandofnewplansvain——
AfterawearydelvingeverywhereFormenwitheveryvirtuebuttheVision——
CouldIhaveknown,Isay,beforeIleftyouThatsummermorning,alltherewastoknow——
EvenuntothelastconsumingwordThatwouldhaveblastedeverymortalanswerAslightningwouldannihilatealeaf,Imighthavetrembledonthatsummermorning;
Imighthavewavered;andImighthavefailed。
AndtherearemanyamongmentodayTosayofmethatIhadbesthavewavered。
Sohasitbeen,soshallitalwaysbe,ForthoseofuswhogiveourselvestodieBeforewearesoparcelledandapprovedAstobeslaughteredbyauthority。
WedonotmakesomuchofwhattheysayAstheyofwhatourfollysaysofus;
Theygiveushardlytimeenoughforthat,Andtherebywegainmuchbylosinglittle。
Fewarealiveto-daywithlesstoloseThanIwhotellyouthis,ormoretogain;
AndwhetherIspeakasonetobedestroyedFornogoodendoutsidehisowndestruction,TimeshallhavemoretosaythanmenshallhearBetweennowandthecomingofthatharvestWhichistocome。Beforeitcomes,Igo——
BytheshortroadthatmysterymakeslongForman’senduranceofaccomplishment。
IshallhavemoretosaywhenIamdead。
TheFalseGods\"Wearefalseandevanescent,andawareofourdeceit,Fromthestrawthatisourvitalstotheclaythatisourfeet。
Youmayserveusifyoumust,andyoushallhaveyourwageofashes,——
Thougharrearsduethereaftermaybehardforyoutomeet。
\"Youmayswearthatwearesolid,youmaysaythatwearestrong,Butweknowthatweareneitherandwesaythatyouarewrong;
Youmayfindaneasyworshipinacclaimingourindulgence,Butyourlargeadmirationofusnowisnotforlong。
\"Ifyourdoomistoadoreuswithadoubtthat’sneverstill,Andyoupraytoseeourfaces——prayinearnest,andyouwill。
Youmaygazeatusandlive,andliveassuredofourconfusion:
FortheFalseGodsaremortal,andaremadeforyoutokill。
\"Andyoumayaswellobserve,whileapprehensivelyateaseWithanArtthat’sinorganicandisanythingyouplease,Thatanonyournewestruinmayliecrumblingunregarded,Likeanoldshrineforgotteninaforestofnewtrees。
\"Howsoeverlikenootherbethemodeyoumayemploy,There’sanorderintheagesfortheagestoenjoy;
ThoughthetemplesyouareshapingandthepassionsyouaresingingArealongwayfromAthensandalongerwayfromTroy。
\"Whenwepromisemorethaneverofwhatnevershallarrive,Andyouseemalittlemorethanordinarilyalive,Makeanotethatyouaresureyouunderstandourobligations——
Forthere’sgriefalwaysauditingwheretwoandtwoarefive。
\"Therewasthisforustosayandtherewasthisforyoutoknow,Thoughithumblesandithurtsuswhenwehavetotellyouso。
Ifyoudoubttheonlytruthinallourperjuredcomposition,MaytheTrueGodsattendyouandforgetuswhenwego。\"
Archibald’sExampleOldArchibald,inhiseternalchair,Wheretrespassers,whatevertheirdegree,Weresoonfrownedoutagain,waslookingoffAcrossthecloverwhenhesaidtome:
\"Mygreenhillyonder,wherethesungoesdownWithoutascratch,wasonceinhabitedBytreesthatinjuredhim——aneviltrashThatmadeacage,andheldhimwhilehebled。
\"Gonefiftyyears,IseethemastheywereBeforetheyfell。TheywereacrookedlotTospoilmysunset,andIsawnotimeInfiftyyearsforcrookedthingstorot。
\"Trees,yes;butnotaserviceorajoyToGodorman,fortheywerethievesoflight。
Sodowntheycame。NatureandIlookedon,Andweweregladwhentheywereoutofsight。
\"Treesarelikemen,sometimes;andthatbeingso,Somuchforthat。\"Hetwinkledinhischair,AndlookedacrosstheclovertotheplaceThatherememberedwhenthetreeswerethere。
LondonBridge\"DoIhearthem?Yes,Ihearthechildrensinging——andwhatofit?
Haveyoucomewitheyesafiretofindmenowandaskmethat?
IfIwerenottheirfatherandifyouwerenottheirmother,Wemightbelievetheymadeanoise……Whatareyou——drivingat!\"
\"Well,begladthatyoucanhearthem,andbegladtheyaresonearus,——
ForIhaveheardthestarsofheaven,andtheywerenearerstill。
AllwithinanhouritisthatIhaveheardthemcalling,AndthoughIprayforthemtocease,Iknowtheyneverwill;
Fortheirmusiconmyheart,thoughyoumayfreezeit,willfallalways,Likesummersnowthatnevermeltsuponamountain-top。
Doyouhearthem?Doyouhearthemoverhead——thechildren——singing?
Doyouhearthechildrensinging?……God,willyoumakethemstop!\"
\"Andwhatnowinhisholynamehaveyoutodowithmountains?
We’rebacktotownagain,mydear,andwe’veadancetonight。
Frozenheartsandfallingmusic?Snowandstars,and——whatthedevil!
Sayitovertomeslowly,andbesureyouhaveitright。\"
\"GodknowsifIberightorwronginsayingwhatItellyou,OrifIknowthemeaninganymoreofwhatIsay。
AllIknowis,itwillkillmeifItrytokeepithidden——
Well,Imethim……Yes,Imethim,andItalkedwithhim——today。\"
\"Youmethim?Didyoumeettheghostofsomeoneyouhadpoisoned,Longago,beforeIknewyouforthewomanthatyouare?
Takeachair;anddon’tbeginyourstoriesalwaysinthemiddle。
Washeman,orwashedemon?Anyhow,you’vegonetoofarTogoback,andI’myourservant。I’mthelord,butyou’rethemaster。
Nowgoonwithwhatyouknow,forI’mexcited。\"
\"Doyoumean——
DoyoumeantomakemetrytothinkthatyouknowlessthanIdo?\"
\"Iknowthatyouforeshadowthebeginningofascene。
Praybecareful,andasaccurateasifthedoorsofheavenWeretoswingortostayboltedfromnowonforevermore。\"
\"Doyouconceive,withallyoursmoothcontemptofeveryfeeling,Ofhidingwhatyouknowandwhatyoumusthaveknownbefore?
Isitworthawoman’storturetostandhereandhaveyousmiling,Withonlyyourpoorfetishofpossessiononyourside?
Nothingbutoneiswhollysure,andthat’snotonetoscareme;
WhenImeetitImaysaytoGodatlastthatIhavetried。
Andyet,forallIknow,orallIdarebelieve,mytrialsHenceforwardwillbemoreforyoutobearthanareyourown;
AndyoumustgivemekeysofyourstoroomsIhavenotentered。
Doyouseemeonyourthresholdallmylife,andtherealone?
Willyoutellmewhereyouseemeinyourfancy——whenitleadsyouFarenoughbeyondthemomentforaglanceattheabyss?\"
\"WillyoutellmewhatintrinsicandamazingsortofnonsenseYouarecrowdingonthepatienceofthemanwhogivesyou——this?
Lookaroundyouandbesorryyou’renotlivinginanattic,Withacivetandafish-net,andwithyoutopaytherent。
Isaywordsthatyoucanspellwithouttheuseofallyourletters;
AndIgrant,ifyouinsist,thatI’veaguessatwhatyoumeant。\"
\"HaveItoldyou,then,fornothing,thatImethim?AreyoutryingTobemerrywhileyoutrytomakemehateyou?\"
\"Thinkagain,Mydear,beforeyoutellme,inalanguageunbecomingToalady,whatyouplantotellmenext。IfIcomplain,IfIseemanatompeevishatthepreferenceyoumention——
Orimply,tobeprecise——youmaybelieve,oryoumaynot,ThatI’matriflemoreawareofwhathewantsthanyouare。
ButIshouldn’tthrowthatatyou。MakebelievethatIforgot。
Makebelievethathe’sagenius,ifyoulike,——butinthemeantimeDon’tgobacktorocking-horses。There,there,there,now。\"
\"Makebelieve!
Whenyouseemestandinghelplessonaplankaboveawhirlpool,DoIdrown,ordoIhearyouwhenyousayit?Makebelieve?
HowmuchmoreamItosayordoforyoubeforeItellyouThatImethim!What’stofollownowmaybeforyoutochoose。
Doyouhearme?Won’tyoulisten?It’saneasythingtolisten……\"
\"Andit’seasytobecrazywhenthere’severythingtolose。\"
\"IfatlastyouhaveanotionthatImeanwhatIamsaying,DoIseemtotellyounothingwhenItellyouIshalltry?
Ifyousaveme,andIlosehim——Idon’tknow——itwon’tmuchmatter。
IdaresaythatI’veliedenough,butnowIdonotlie。\"
\"DoyoufancymetheonemanwhohaswaitedandsaidnothingWhileawifehasdraggedanoldinfatuationfromatomb?
Givethethingalittleairanditwillvanishintoashes。
Thereyouare——piff!presto!\"
\"WhenIcameintothisroom,ItseemedasifIsawtheplace,andyouthereatyourtable,Asyouarenowatthismoment,forthelasttimeinmylife;
AndItoldmyselfbeforeIcametofindyou,`Ishalltellhim,IfIcan,whatIhavelearnedofhimsinceIbecamehiswife。’
Andifyousay,asI’venodoubtyouwillbeforeIfinish,Thatyouhavetriedunceasingly,withallyourmightandmain,Toteachme,knowingmorethanIofwhatitwasIneeded,Don’tthink,withallyoumayhavethought,thatyouhavetriedinvain;
ForyouhavetaughtmemorethanhidesinalltheshelvesofknowledgeOfhowlittleyoufoundthat’sinmeandwasinmeallalong。
Ibelieved,ifIintrudednothingonyouthatIcaredfor,I’dbehalfasmuchashorses,——anditseemsthatIwaswrong;
Ibelievedtherewasenoughofearthinme,withallmynonsenseOverthingsthatmadeyousleepy,tokeepsomethingstillawake;
Butyoutaughtmesoontoreadmybook,andGodknowsIhavereadit——
Ageslongerthananangelwouldhavereaditforyoursake。
IhavesaidthatyoumustopenotherdoorsthanIhaveentered,ButIwonderedwhileIsaiditifImightnotbeobscure。
IsthereanythinginallyourpedigreesandinventoriesWithavaluemoreelusivethanadollar’s?AreyousureThatifIstarveanotheryearforyouIshallbestrongerToendureanotherlikeit——andanother——tillI’mdead?\"
\"Hasyourtamecatsoldapicture?——ormorelikelyhadawindfall?
OrforGod’ssake,what’sbrokeloose?Haveyouabee-hiveinyourhead?
Alittlemoreofthisfromyouwillnotbeeasyhearing。
Doyouknowthat?Understandit,ifyoudo;forifyouwon’t……
Whatthedevilareyousaying!Makebelieveyouneversaidit,AndI’llsayIneverheardit……Oh,you……Ifyou……\"
\"IfIdon’t?\"
\"Therearemenwhosaythere’sreasonhiddensomewhereinawoman,ButIdoubtifGodhimselfrememberswherethekeywashung。\"
\"Hemaynot;fortheysaythatevenGodhimselfisgrowing。
Iwonderifhemakesbelievethatheisgrowingyoung;
IwonderifhemakesbelievethatwomenwhoaregivingAlltheyhaveinholyloathingtoastrangeralltheirlivesArethewiseoneswhobuildhousesintheBible……\"
\"Stop——youdevil!\"
\"……Orthatsoulsareanywhiterwhentheirbodiesarecalledwives。
Ifadollar’sworthofgoldwillhoopthewallsofhelltogether,Whyneedheavenbesucharuinofaplacethatneverwas?
AndifatlastIliedmystarvingsoulawaytonothing,Areyousureyoumightnotmissit?HaveyoucometosuchapassThatyouwouldhavemelongerinyourarmsifyoudiscoveredThatImadeyouintosomeoneelse……Oh!……Well,thereareworseways。
Butwhyaimitatmyfeet——unlessyoufearyoumaybesorry……
Therearemanydaysaheadofyou。\"
\"Idonotseethosedays。\"
\"Icanseethem。GrantedevenIamwrong,therearethechildren。
Andaretheytopraisetheirfatherforhisinsightifwedie?
Doyouhearthem?Doyouhearthemoverhead——thechildren——singing?
Doyouhearthem?Doyouhearthechildren?\"
\"Damnthechildren!\"
\"Why?
WhathaveTHEYdone?……Well,then,——doit……Doitnow,andhaveitover。\"
\"Oh,youdevil!……Oh,you……\"
\"No,I’mnotadevil,I’maprophet——
OnewhoseestheendalreadyofsomuchthatoneendmoreWouldhavenowthesmallimportanceofoneothersmallillusion,Whichinturnwouldhaveawelcomewheretheresthavegonebefore。
ButifIwereyou,myfancywouldlookonalittlefartherFortheglimpseofareleasethatmaybesomewherestillinsight。
Furthermore,youmustrememberthosetwohundredinvitationsForthedancingafterdinner。Weshallhavetoshinetonight。
Weshalldance,andbeashappyasapairofmerryspectres,Onthegraveofalltheliesthatweshallneverhavetotell;
Weshalldanceamongtheruinsofthetombofourendurance,AndIhavenotadoubtthatweshalldoitverywell。
There!——I’mgladyou’veputitback;forIdon’tlikeit。
Shutthedrawernow。
No——no——don’tcancelanything。I’lldanceuntilIdrop。
Ican’twalkyet,butI’mgoingto……Goawaysomewhere,andleaveme……
Oh,youchildren!Oh,youchildren!……God,willtheyneverstop!\"
TaskerNorcross\"Whetheralltownsandallwholiveinthem——
SolongastheybesomewhereinthisworldThatweinourcomplacencycallours——
Aremoreorlessthesame,Ileavetoyou。
Ishouldsayless。Whetherornot,meanwhile,We’vealltwolegs——andasforthat,wehaven’t——
TherewerethreekindsofmenwhereIwasborn:
Thegood,thenotsogood,andTaskerNorcross。
Nowtherearetwokinds。\"
\"Meaning,asIdivine,Yourfriendisdead,\"Iventured。
Ferguson,WhotalkedhimselfatlastoutoftheworldHecensured,andisthereforesilentnow,Agreedindifferently:\"Myfriendsaredead——
Ormostofthem。\"
\"Rememberonethatisn’t,\"
Isaid,protesting。\"Honorhimforhisears;
Treasurehimalsoforhisunderstanding。\"
Fergusonsighed,andthentalkedonagain:
\"YouhaveanovergrownalacrityForsayingnothingmuchandhearingless;
AndI’veathanklesswonder,atthestart,HowmuchitistoyouthatIshalltellWhatIhavenowtosayofTaskerNorcross,Andhowmuchtotheairthatisaroundyou。
ButgivenapatiencethatisnotaverseTotheslowtragediesofhauntedmen——
Horrors,infact,ifyou’veaskilfuleyeToknowthemattheirfiresides,oroutwalking,——\"
\"Horrors,\"Isaid,\"aremynecessity;
AndIwouldhavethem,fortheirbesteffect,Alwaysoutwalking。\"
Fergusonfrownedatme:
\"ThewisestofusarenotthosewholaughBeforetheyknow。Mostofusneverknow——
OrthelongtoilofourmortalityWouldnotbedone。Mostofusneverknow——
AndthereyouhaveareasontobelieveInGod,ifyoumayhavenoother。Norcross,OrsoIgatherofhisinfirmity,Wasgiventoknowmorethanheshouldhaveknown,AndonlyGodknowswhy。SeeforyourselfAnoldhousefullofghostsofancestors,Whodidtheirbest,orworst,andhavingdoneit,Diedhonorably;andeachwithadistinctionThathardlywouldhavebeenforhimthathadit,Hadhonorfailedhimwhollyasafriend。
Honorthatisafriendbegetsafriend。
Whetherornotwelovehim,stillwehavehim;
Andwemustlivesomehowbywhatwehave,Orthenwedie。Ifyousaychemistry,Thenyoumusthaveyourmoleculesinmotion,Andintheirrightabundance。Failingeither,Youhavenotlongtodance。Failingafriend,Agenius,oramadness,orafaithLargerthandesperation,youarehereForasmuchlongerthanyoulikeasmaybe。
Imaginingnow,bywayofanexample,Myselfamoreorlessrememberedphantom——
Again,Ishouldsayless——howmanytimesAdayshouldIcomebacktoyou?Noanswer。
ForgivemewhenIseemalittlecareless,Butwemusthaveexamples,orbelucidWithoutthem;andIquestionyouradherenceTosuchanundramaticnarrativeAsthisofmine,withoutthepersonalhook。\"
\"AtimeisgiveninEcclesiastesFordiversworks,\"Itoldhim。\"IsthereoneForsayingnothinginreturnfornothing?
Ifnot,thereshouldbe。\"Icouldfeelhiseyes,AndtheywereliketwocoldinquiringpointsOfasharpmetal。WhenIlookedagain,Toseethemshine,thecoldthatIhadfeltWasgonetomakewayforasmoulderingOflonelyfirethatI,asIknewthen,Couldneverquenchwithkindnessorwithlies。
IshouldhavedonewhatevertherewastodoForFerguson,yetIcouldnothavemournedInhonestyforoncearoundtheclockThelossofhim,formysakeorforhis,TryasImight;norwouldhisghostapprove,HadIthepowerandtheunthinkingwillTomakehimtreadagainwithoutanaimTheroadthatwasbehindhim——andwithoutThefaith,orfriend,orgenius,orthemadnessThathecontendedwasimperative。
Afterasilencethathadbeentoolong,\"Itmaybequiteaswellwedon’t,\"hesaid;
\"Aswell,Imean,thatwedon’talwayssayit。
YouknowbestwhatImean,andIsupposeYoumighthavesaiditbetter。Whatwasthat?
Incorrigible?AmIincorrigible?
Well,it’saword;andawordhasitsuse,Or,likeaman,itwillsoonhaveagrave。
It’sagoodwordenough。Incorrigible,Maybe,forallIknow,thewordforNorcross。
SeeforyourselfthathouseofhisagainThathecalledhome:Anoldhouse,paintedwhite,Squareasabox,andchillierthanatombTolookatortolivein。Thereweretrees——
Toomanyofthem,ifsuchathingmaybe——
Beforeitandaroundit。DowninfrontTherewasaroad,arailroad,andariver;
Thentherewerehillsbehindit,andmoretrees。
Thethingwouldfairlystareatyouthroughtrees,LikeapaleinmateoutofabarredwindowWithagreenshadehalfdown;andIdaresayPeoplewhopassedhavesaid:`There’swherehelives。
Weknowhim,butwedonotseemtoknowThatwerememberanygoodofhim,Oranyevilthatisinteresting。
Thereyouhaveallweknowandallwecare。’
Theymighthavesaiditinallsortsofways;
Andthen,iftheyperceivedacat,theymightOrmightnothaverememberedwhattheysaid。
Thecatmighthaveapersonality——
AndmaybethesameonetheLordleftoutOfTaskerNorcross,who,forlackofit,Sawthesamesungodownyearafteryear;
Allwhichatlastwasmydiscovery。
Andonlymine,sofarasevidenceEnlightensonemoredarkness。YouhaveknownAllroundyou,allyourdays,menwhoarenothing——
Nothing,Imean,sofarastimetellsyetOfanyotherneedithasofthemThantomakesextonshardy——butnolessAretothemselvesincalculablysomething,Andthereforetobecherished。God,yousee,Beingsorryforthemintheirfashioning,IndemnifiedthemwithaquaintesteemOfself,andwithillusionslongaslife。
Youknowthemwell,andyouhavesmiledatthem;
Andthey,intheirserenity,mayhavehadTheirtimetosmileatyou。BlessedaretheyThatseethemselvesforwhattheyneverwereOrweretobe,andare,fortheirdefect,AteasewithmirrorsandthedimremarksThatpasstheirtranquilears。\"
\"Come,come,\"saidI;
\"TheremaybenamesinyourcompendiumThatwearenotyetallonfireforshouting。
Skinmostofusofourmediocrity,Weshouldhavenothingthenthatwecouldscratch。
Thepicturesmarts。Coverit,ifyouplease,Anddosorathergently。NowforNorcross。\"
Fergusonclosedhiseyesinresignation,Whileadeadsighcameoutofhim。\"GoodGod!\"
Hesaid,andsaiditonlyhalfaloud,Asifheknewnolongernow,norcared,Ifoneweretheretolisten:\"HaveIsaidnothing——
Nothingatall——ofNorcross?DoyoumeanTopatronizehimtillhisnamebecomesAtoymadeoutofletters?IfanameIsallyouneed,arrangeanhonestcolumnOfallthepeopleyouhaveeverknownThatyouhaveneverliked。You’llhaveenough;
Andyou’llhavemine,moreover。No,notyet。
IfIassumetoomanyprivileges,Ipay,andIalone,fortheirassumption;
Bywhich,ifIassumeadarkerknowledgeOfNorcrossthananother,lettheweightOfmyinjusticeaggravatetheloadThatisnotonyourshoulders。WhenIcameToknowthisfellowNorcrossinhishouse,IfoundhimasIfoundhiminthestreet——
Nomore,noless;indifferent,butnobetter。
`Worse’werenotquitetheword:hewasnotbad;
Hewasnot……well,hewasnotanything。
HasyourinventioneverentertainedThepictureofadustywormsodryThateventheearlybirdwouldshakehisheadAndflyonfartherforanotherbreakfast?\"
\"Butwhyforgetthefortuneoftheworm,\"
Isaid,\"ifinthedrynessyoudeploreSalvationcentredandendured?YourNorcrossMayhavebeenoneformanytohaveenvied。\"
\"Salvation?Fortune?Wouldthewormsaythat?
Hemight;andthereforeIdismissthewormWithalldrythingsbutone。Figuresaway,Doyoubegintoseethismanalittle?
Doyoubegintoseehimintheair,WithallthevacanthorrorsofhisoutlineForyoutofillwithmorethanitwillhold?
Ifso,youneedn’tcrownyourselfatonceWithepiclaurelifyouseemtofillit。
Horrors,Isay,forinthefiresandforksOfanewhell——ifonewerenotenough——
IdoubtifanewhorrorwouldhaveheldhimWithamalignantingenuityMoretobefearedthanhisbeforehedied。
Yousmile,asifindoubt。Well,smileagain。
Nowcomeintohishouse,alongwithme:
ThefoursquaresombrethingsthatyouseefirstAroundyouarefourwallsthatgoashighAstotheceiling。Norcrossknewthemwell,Andheknewotherslikethem。FastentothatWithalltheclawsofyourintelligence;
AndholdthemanbeforeyouinhishouseAsifhewereawhiteratinabox,Andonethatknewhimselftobenoother。
Itellyoutwicethatheknewallaboutit,ThatyoumaynotforgettheworstofallOurtragediesbeginwithwhatweknow。
CouldNorcrossonlynothaveknown,IwonderHowmanywouldhaveblessedandenviedhim!
CouldhehavehadtheusualeyeforspotsOnothers,andfornoneuponhimself,IsmiletoponderonthecarriagesThatmightaswellasnothavecloggedthetownInhonorofhisend。Fortherewasgold,Yousee,thoughallheneededwasalittle,Andwhathegavesaidnothingofwhogaveit。
HewouldhavegivenitallifinreturnTheremighthavebeenamoresufficientfaceTogreethimwhenheshaved。ThoughyouinsistItisthedower,andalways,ofourdegreeNottobecursedwithsuchinvidiousinsight,Rememberthatyoustand,youandyourfancy,Nowinhishouse;andsincewearetogether,Seeforyourselfandtellmewhatyousee。
Tellmethebestyousee。MakeaslightnoiseOfrecognitionwhenyoufindabookThatyouwouldnotasliefreadupsidedownAsotherwise,forexample。Ifthereyoufail,Observethewallsandleadmetotheplace,Whereyouareled。IfthereyoumeetapictureThatholdsyounearitforalongertimeThanyouaresorry,youmaycallityours,Andhangitinthedarkofyourremembrance,WhereNorcrossneversees。HowcanheseeThathasnoeyestosee?Andasformusic,HepaidwithemptywonderforthepangsOfhisinfrequentforcedenduranceofit;
Andhavinghadnopleasure,paidnomoreForneedlessimmolation,orforthesightOfthosewhoheardwhathewasnevertohear。
ToseethemlisteningwasitselfenoughTomakehimsuffer;andtowatchworneyes,Onotherdays,ofstrangerswhoforgotTheirsorrowsandtheirfailuresandthemselvesBeforeafewmysteriousoddsandendsOfmarblecartedfromtheParthenon——
Andallforseeingwhathewasnevertosee,Becauseitwasaliveandhewasdead——
HerewasawonderthatwasmoreprofoundThananythatwasinfiddlesandbrasshorns。
\"Heknew,andinhisknowledgetherewasdeath。
HeknewtherewasaregionallaroundhimThatlayoutsideman’shavocandaffairs,Andyetwasnotallhostiletotheirtumult,Wherepoetswouldhaveservedandhonoredhim,Andsavedhim,hadtherebeenanythingtosave。
Buttherewasnothing,andhistetheredrangeWasonlyasmalldesert。KingsofsongArenotforthronesindeserts。TowersofsoundAndflowersofsensearebutawasteofheavenWherethereisnonetoknowthemfromtherocksAndsand-grassofhisownmonotonyThatmakesearthlessthanearth。Hecouldseethat,Andhecouldseenomore。ThecapturedlightThatmayhavebeenornot,forallhecared,Thesongthatisinsculpturewasnothis,Butonly,tohisGod-forgotteneyes,OnemoreimmortalnonsenseinaworldWhereallwasmortal,orhadbestbeso,Andsobedonewith。`Art,’hewouldhavesaid,`Isnotlife,andmustthereforebealie;’
AndwithafewprofunditieslikethatHewouldhavecontrovertedanddismissedThebenefitoftheGreeks。Hehadheardofthem,Ashehadheardofhisaspiringsoul——
Nevertotheperceptibleadvantage,Inhisesteem,ofeither。`Faith,’hesaid,Orwouldhavesaidifhehadthoughtofit,`LivesinthesamehousewithPhilosophy,WherethetwofeedonscrapsandareforlornAsorphansafterwar。Hecouldseestars,Onaclearnight,buthehadnotaneyeToseebeyondthem。Hecouldhearspokenwords,Buthadnoearforsilencewhenalone。
Hecouldeatfoodofwhichheknewthesavor,ButhadnopalatefortheBreadofLife,Thathumandesperation,tohisthinking,Madefamouslongago,havingnoother。
Nowdoyousee?Doyoubegintosee?\"
ItoldhimthatIdidbegintosee;
AndIwasnearerthanIshouldhavebeenTolaughingathismaligninclusiveness,WhenIconsideredthat,withallourspeed,Wearenotlaughingyetatfunerals。
IseehimnowasIcouldseehimthen,AndIseenowthatitwasgoodforme,Asitwasgoodforhim,thatIwasquiet;
ForTime’seyewasonFerguson,andtheshaftOfitsinquiringhesitancyhadtouchedhim,OrsoIchosetofancymorethanonceBeforehetoldofNorcross。WhenthewordOfhisrelease(hewouldhavecalleditso)
Madehalfaninchofnews,therewerenotearsThatarerecorded。WomentheremayhavebeenTowishhimback,thoughIshouldsay,notknowing,Thefewthereweretomournwerenotforlove,Andwerenotlovely。Nothingofthem,atleast,WasinthemeagrelegendthatIgatheredYearsafter,whenachanceoftraveltookmeSoneartheregionofhisnativityThatafewmilesofleisurebroughtmethere;
ForthereIfoundafriendlycitizenWholedmetohishouseamongthetreesThatwereabovearailroadandariver。
SquareasaboxandchillierthanatombItwasindeed,tolookatortolivein——
AllwhichhadIbeentold。\"Fergusondied,\"
Thestrangersaid,\"andthentherewasanauction。
Ilivehere,butI’veneveryetbeenwarm。
Rememberhim?Yes,Irememberhim。
Iknewhim——asamanmayknowatree——
Fortwentyyears。HemayhaveheldhimselfAlittlehighwhenhewashere,butnow……
Yes,IrememberFerguson。Oh,yes。\"
Others,Ifound,rememberedFerguson,ButnoneofthemhadheardofTaskerNorcross。
ASongatShannon’sTwomencameoutofShannon’shavingknownThefacesofeachotherforaslongAstheyhadlistenedtheretoanoldsong,SungthinlyinawastrelmonotoneBysomeunhappynight-bird,whohadflownToomanytimesandwithawingtoostrongTosavehimself,andsodoneheavywrongTomorefrailelementsthanhisalone。
Slowlyawaytheywent,leavingbehindMorelightthanwasbeforethem。NeithermetTheother’seyesagainorsaidaword。
Eachtohislonelinessortohiskind,Wenthisownway,andwithhisownregret,Notknowingwhattheothermayhaveheard。
SouvenirAvanishedhousethatforanhourIknewBysomeforgottenchancewhenIwasyoungHadonceaglimmeringwindowoverhungWithhoneysucklewetwitheveningdew。
Alongthepathtallduskydahliasgrew,AndshadowyhydrangeasreachedandswungFerociously;andoverme,amongThemothsandmysteries,ablurredbatflew。
SomewherewithinthereweredimpresencesOfdaysthathoveredandofyearsgoneby。
Iwaited,andbetweentheirsilencesTherewasanevanescentfadednoise;
Andthoughachild,IknewitwasthevoiceOfonewhoseoccupationwastodie。
DiscoveryWetoldofhimasonewhoshouldhavesoaredAndseenforusthedevastatinglightWhereofthereisnoteitherdayornight,AndsharedwithustheglamouroftheWordThatfellonceuponAmostorecordFormenateaseinZion,whenthesightOfillsobscuredaggrievedhimandthemightOfHamathwasawarningoftheLord。
Assuredsomehowthathewouldmakeuswise,Ourpleasurewastowait;andoursurpriseWashardwhenweconfessedthedryreturnOfhisregret。ForwewerestilltolearnThatearthhasnotaschoolwherewemaygoForwisdom,orformorethanwemayknow。
FirelightTenyearstogetherwithoutyetacloud,Theyseekeachother’seyesatintervalsOfgratefulnesstofirelightandfourwallsForlove’sobliterationofthecrowd。
SerenelyandperenniallyendowedAndboweredasfewmaybe,theirjoyrecallsNosnake,nosword;andoverthemtherefallsTheblessingofwhatneithersaysaloud。
Wiserforsilence,theywerenotsogladWereshetoreadthegraventaleoflinesOnthewanfaceofonesomewherealone;
NorweretheymorecontentcouldhehavehadHerthoughtsamomentsinceofonewhoshinesApart,andwouldbehersifhehadknown。
TheNewTenantsThedaywasherewhenitwashistoknowHowfaredthebarriershehadbuiltbetweenHistriumphandhisenemiesunseen,Forthemtoundermineandoverthrow;
AnditwashisnolongertoforegoThesightofthem,insidiousandserene,WheretheyweredelvingalwaysandhadbeenLeftalwaystobeviciousandtogrow。
Andtherewerethenewtenantswhohadcome,Bydoorsthatwereleftopenunawares,Intohishouse,andweresomuchathomeTherenowthathewouldhardlyhavetoguess,Bytheslowguileoftheirvindictiveness,Whatultimateinsolencewouldsoonbetheirs。
InferentialAlthoughIsawbeforemetherethefaceOfonewhomIhadhonoredamongmenTheleast,andonregardinghimagainWouldnothavehadhiminanotherplace,HefittedwithanunfamiliargraceThecoffinwhereIcouldnotseehimthenAsIhadseenhimandappraisedhimwhenIdeemedhimunessentialtotherace。
FortherewasmoreofhimthanwhatIsaw。
AndtherewasonmemorethantheoldaweThatisthecommongeniusofthedead。
Imightaswellhaveheardhim:\"Nevermind;
Ifsomeofuswerenotsofarbehind,Therestofuswerenotsofarahead。\"
TheRatAsoftenashelethimselfbeseenWepitiedhim,orscornedhim,ordeploredTheinscrutableprofusionoftheLordWhoshapedasoneofusathingsomean——
WhomadehimhumanwhenhemighthavebeenArat,andsobeenwhollyinaccordWithanyothercreatureweabhorredAsalwaysuselessandnotalwaysclean。
Nowheishidingallalonesomewhere,Andinafinalholenotreadythen;
FornowheisamongthoseoverthereWhoarenotcomingbacktousagain。
AndwewhodothefictionofourshareSaylessofratsandrathermoreofmen。
RaheltoVarnhagenNote。——RahelRobertandVarnhagenvonEnseweremarried,aftermanyprotestationsonherpart,in1814。Themarriage——sofarashewasconcerned,atanyrate——appearstohavebeensatisfactory。
Nowyouhavereadthemall;orifnotall,AsmanyasinallconscienceIshouldfancyTobeenough。Therearenomoreofthem——
Ornonetoburnyoursleep,ortobringdreamsOfdevils。Ifthesearenotsufficient,surelyYouareastrangeyoungman。ImightliveonAlone,andforanotherfortyyears,Ornotquiteforty,——areyouhappiernow?——
AlwaystoaskifthereprevailedelsewhereAnotherlikeyourselfthatwouldhaveheldTheseagedhandsaslongasyouhaveheldthem,Notonceobserving,forallIcansee,Howtheyarelikeyourmother’s。Well,youhavereadHislettersnow,andyouhaveheardmesayThatinthemarethecindersofapassionThatwasmylife;andyouhavenotyetbrokenYourwayoutofmyhouse,outofmysight,——
Intothestreet。Youareastrangeyoungman。
Iknowasmuchasthatofyou,forcertain;
AndI’malreadypraying,foryoursake,Thatyoubenottoostrange。ToomuchofthatMayleadyoubyeandbyethroughgloomylanesToasadwilderness,whereonemaygropeAlone,andalways,oruntilhefeelsFerociousandinvisibleanimalsThatwaitformenandeattheminthedark。