\"TheGodowskas,\"hemurmured。\"Doyouknowthem?AmotheranddaughterfromVienna。Themotherhasaninternalcomplaintandthedaughterisanactress。FrauleinSoniaisaverymodernsoul。Ithinkyouwouldfindhermostsympathetic。Sheisforcedtobeinattendanceonhermotherjustnow。Butwhatatemperament!Ihaveoncedescribedherinherautographalbumasatigresswithaflowerinthehair。Willyouexcuseme?PerhapsIcanpersuadethemtobeintroducedtoyou。\"
Isaid,\"Iamgoinguptomyroom。\"ButtheProfessorroseandshookaplayfulfingeratme。\"Na,\"hesaid,\"wearefriends,and,therefore,I
shallspeakquitefranklytoyou。Ithinktheywouldconsideritalittle’marked’ifyouimmediatelyretiredtothehouseattheirapproach,aftersittingherealonewithmeinthetwilight。Youknowthisworld。Yes,youknowitasIdo。\"
Ishruggedmyshoulders,remarkingwithoneeyethatwhiletheProfessorhadbeentalkingtheGodowskashadtrailedacrossthelawntowardsus。
TheyconfrontedtheHerrProfessorashestoodup。
\"Good—evening,\"quaveredFrauGodowska。\"Wonderfulweather!Ithasgivenmequiteatouchofhayfever!\"FrauleinGodowskasaidnothing。SheswoopedoverarosegrowingintheembryoorchardthenstretchedoutherhandwithamagnificentgesturetotheHerrProfessor。Hepresentedme。
\"ThisismylittleEnglishfriendofwhomIhavespoken。Sheisthestrangerinourmidst。Wehavebeeneatingcherriestogether。\"
\"Howdelightful,\"sighedFrauGodowska。\"MydaughterandIhaveoftenobservedyouthroughthebedroomwindow。Haven’twe,Sonia?\"
Soniaabsorbedmyoutwardandvisibleformwithaninwardandspiritualglance,thenrepeatedthemagnificentgestureformybenefit。Thefourofussatonthebench,withthatfaintairofexcitementofpassengersestablishedinarailwaycarriageonthequiviveforthetrainwhistle。
FrauGodowskasneezed。\"Iwonderifitishayfever,\"sheremarked,worryingthesatinreticuleforherhandkerchief,\"orwoulditbethedew。
Sonia,dear,isthedewfalling?\"
FrauleinSoniaraisedherfacetothesky,andhalfclosedhereyes。\"No,mamma,myfaceisquitewarm。Oh,look,HerrProfessor,thereareswallowsinflight;theyarelikealittleflockofJapanesethoughts——nichtwahr?\"
\"Where?\"criedtheHerrProfessor。\"Ohyes,Isee,bythekitchenchimney。
Butwhydoyousay’Japanese’?CouldyounotcomparethemwithequalveracitytoalittleflockofGermanthoughtsinflight?\"Heroundedonme。\"HaveyouswallowsinEngland?\"
\"Ibelievetherearesomeatcertainseasons。ButdoubtlesstheyhavenotthesamesymbolicalvaluefortheEnglish。InGermany——\"
\"IhaveneverbeentoEngland,\"interruptedFrauleinSonia,\"butIhavemanyEnglishacquaintances。Theyaresocold!\"Sheshivered。
\"Fish—blooded,\"snappedFrauGodowska。\"Withoutsoul,withoutheart,withoutgrace。Butyoucannotequaltheirdressmaterials。IspentaweekinBrightontwentyyearsago,andthetravellingcapeIboughtthereisnotyetwornout——theoneyouwrapthehot—waterbottlein,Sonia。Mylamentedhusband,yourfather,Sonia,knewagreatdealaboutEngland。Butthemoreheknewaboutittheoftenerheremarkedtome,’Englandismerelyanislandofbeeffleshswimminginawarmgulfseaofgravy。’Suchabrilliantwayofputtingthings。Doyouremember,Sonia?\"
\"Iforgetnothing,mamma,\"answeredSonia。
SaidtheHerrProfessor:\"Thatistheproofofyourcalling,gnadigesFraulein。NowIwonder——andthisisaveryinterestingspeculation——ismemoryablessingor——excusetheword——acurse?\"
FrauGodowskalookedintothedistance,thenthecornersofhermouthdroppedandherskinpuckered。Shebegantoshedtears。
\"AchGott!Graciouslady,whathaveIsaid?\"exclaimedtheHerrProfessor。
Soniatookhermother’shand。\"Doyouknow,\"shesaid,\"to—nightitisstewedcarrotsandnuttartforsupper。Supposewegoinandtakeourplaces,\"hersidelong,tragicstareaccusingtheProfessorandmethewhile。
Ifollowedthemacrossthelawnandupthesteps。FrauGodowskawasmurmuring,\"Suchawonderful,belovedman\";withherdisengagedhandFrauleinSoniawasarrangingthesweetpea\"garniture。\"……
\"AconcertforthebenefitofafflictedCatholicinfantswilltakeplaceinthesalonateight—thirtyP。M。Artists:FrauleinSoniaGodowska,fromVienna;HerrProfessorWindbergandhistrombone;FrauOberlehrerWeidel,andothers。\"
Thisnoticewastiedroundtheneckofthemelancholystag’sheadinthedining—room。Itgracedhimlikearedandwhitedinnerbibfordaysbeforetheevent,causingtheHerrProfessortobowbeforeitandsay\"goodappetite\"untilwesickenedofhispleasantryandleftthesmilingtobedonebythewaiter,whowaspaidtobepleasingtotheguests。
Ontheappointeddaythemarriedladiessailedaboutthepensiondressedlikeupholsteredchairs,andtheunmarriedladieslikedrapedmuslindressing—tablecovers。FrauGodowskapinnedaroseinthecentreofherreticule;anotherblossomwastuckedinthemazyfoldsofawhiteantimacassarthrownacrossherbreast。Thegentlemenworeblackcoats,whitesilktiesandfernybuttonholesticklingthechin。
Thefloorofthesalonwasfreshlypolished,chairsandbenchesarranged,andarowoflittleflagsstrungacrosstheceiling——theyflewandjiggedinthedraughtwithalltheenthusiasmoffamilywashing。ItwasarrangedthatIshouldsitbesideFrauGodowska,andthattheHerrProfessorandSoniashouldjoinuswhentheirshareoftheconcertwasover。
\"Thatwillmakeyoufeelquiteoneoftheperformers,\"saidtheHerrProfessorgenially。\"ItisagreatpitythattheEnglishnationissounmusical。Nevermind!To—nightyoushallhearsomething——wehavediscoveredanestoftalentduringtherehearsals。\"
\"Whatdoyouintendtorecite,FrauleinSonia?\"
Sheshookbackherhair。\"Ineverknowuntilthelastmoment。WhenIcomeonthestageIwaitforonemomentandthenIhavethesensationasthoughsomethingstruckmehere,\"——sheplacedherhanduponhercollarbrooch——\"and……wordscome!\"
\"Benddownamoment,\"whisperedhermother。\"Sonia,love,yourskirtsafety—pinisshowingattheback。ShallIcomeoutsideandfastenitproperlyforyou,orwillyoudoityourself?\"
\"Oh,mamma,pleasedon’tsaysuchthings,\"Soniaflushedandgrewveryangry。\"YouknowhowsensitiveIamtotheslightestunsympatheticimpressionatatimelikethis……Iwouldrathermyskirtdroppedoffmybody——\"
\"Sonia——myheart!\"
Abelltinkled。
Thewaitercameinandopenedthepiano。Intheheatedexcitementofthemomentheentirelyforgotwhatwasfitting,andflickedthekeyswiththegrimytablenapkinhecarriedoverhisarm。TheFrauOberlehrertrippedontheplatformfollowedbyaveryyounggentleman,whoblewhisnosetwicebeforehehurledhishandkerchiefintothebosomofthepiano。
\"Yes,Iknowyouhavenoloveforme,Andnoforget—me—not。
Nolove,noheart,andnoforget—me—not。\"
sangtheFrauOberlehrer,inavoicethatseemedtoissuefromherforgottenthimbleandhavenothingtodowithher。
\"Ach,howsweet,howdelicate,\"wecried,clappinghersoothingly。Shebowedasthoughtosay,\"Yes,isn’tit?\"andretired,theveryyounggentlemandodginghertrainandscowling。
Thepianowasclosed,anarm—chairwasplacedinthecentreoftheplatform。FrauleinSoniadriftedtowardsit。Abreathlesspause。Then,presumably,thewingedshaftstruckhercollarbrooch。Sheimploredusnottogointothewoodsintraineddresses,butratheraslightlydrapedaspossible,andbedwithheramongthepineneedles。Herloud,slightlyharshvoicefilledthesalon。Shedroppedherarmsoverthebackofthechair,movingherleanhandsfromthewrists。Wewerethrilledandsilent。
TheHerrProfessor,besideme,abnormallyserious,hiseyesbulging,pulledathismoustacheends。FrauGodowskaadoptedthatpeculiarlydetachedattitudeoftheproudparent。Theonlysoulwhoremaineduntouchedbyherappealwasthewaiter,wholeanedidlyagainstthewallofthesalonandcleanedhisnailswiththeedgeofaprogramme。Hewas\"offduty\"andintendedtoshowit。
\"WhatdidIsay?\"shoutedtheHerrProfessorundercoveroftumultuousapplause,\"tem—per—ament!Thereyouhaveit。Sheisaflameintheheartofalily。IknowIamgoingtoplaywell。Itismyturnnow。Iaminspired。FrauleinSonia\"——asthatladyreturnedtous,paleanddrapedinalargeshawl——\"youaremyinspiration。To—nightyoushallbethesoulofmytrombone。Waitonly。\"
TorightandleftofuspeoplebentoverandwhisperedadmirationdownFrauleinSonia’sneck。Shebowedinthegrandstyle。
\"Iamalwayssuccessful,\"shesaidtome。\"Yousee,whenIactIAM。InVienna,intheplaysofIbsenwehadsomanybouquetsthatthecookhadthreeinthekitchen。Butitisdifficulthere。Thereissolittlemagic。
Doyounotfeelit?ThereisnoneofthatmysteriousperfumewhichfloatsalmostasavisiblethingfromthesoulsoftheVienneseaudiences。Myspiritstarvesforwantofthat。\"Sheleanedforward,chinonhand。
\"Starves,\"sherepeated。
TheProfessorappearedwithhistrombone,blewintoit,heldituptooneeye,tuckedbackhisshirtcuffsandwallowedinthesoulofSoniaGodowska。SuchasensationdidhecreatethathewasrecalledtoplayaBavariandance,whichheacknowledgedwastobetakenasabreathingexerciseratherthananartisticachievement。FrauGodowskakepttimetoitwithafan。
Followedtheveryyounggentlemanwhopipedinatenorvoicethathelovedsomebody,\"withbloodinhisheartandathousandpains。\"FrauleinSoniaactedapoisonscenewiththeassistanceofhermother’spillvialandthearm—chairreplacedbya\"chaiselongue\";ayounggirlscratchedalullabyonayoungfiddle;andtheHerrProfessorperformedthelastsacrificialritesonthealtaroftheafflictedchildrenbyplayingtheNationalAnthem。
\"NowImustputmammatobed,\"whisperedFrauleinSonia。\"ButafterwardsI
musttakeawalk。ItisimperativethatIfreemyspiritintheopenairforamoment。Wouldyoucomewithmeasfarastherailwaystationandback?\"
\"Verywell,then,knockonmydoorwhenyou’reready。\"
ThusthemodernsoulandIfoundourselvestogetherunderthestars。
\"Whatanight!\"shesaid。\"DoyouknowthatpoemofSapphoaboutherhandsinthestars……Iamcuriouslysapphic。Andthisissoremarkable——notonlyamIsapphic,Ifindinalltheworksofallthegreatestwriters,especiallyintheiruneditedletters,sometouch,somesignofmyself——someresemblance,somepartofmyself,likeathousandreflectionsofmyownhandsinadarkmirror。\"
\"Butwhatabother,\"saidI。
\"Idonotknowwhatyoumeanby’bother’;isitratherthecurseofmygenius……\"Shepausedsuddenly,staringatme。\"Doyouknowmytragedy?\"
sheasked。
Ishookmyhead。
\"Mytragedyismymother。LivingwithherIlivewiththecoffinofmyunbornaspirations。Youheardthataboutthesafety—pinto—night。Itmayseemtoyoualittlething,butitruinedmythreefirstgestures。Theywere——\"
\"Impaledonasafety—pin,\"Isuggested。
\"Yes,exactlythat。AndwhenweareinViennaIamthevictimofmoods,youknow。Ilongtodowild,passionatethings。Andmammasays,’Pleasepouroutmymixturefirst。’OnceIrememberIflewintoarageandthrewawashstandjugoutofthewindow。Doyouknowwhatshesaid?’Sonia,itisnotsomuchthrowingthingsoutofwindows,ifonlyyouwould——’\"
\"Choosesomethingsmaller?\"saidI。
\"No……’tellmeaboutitbeforehand。’Humiliating!AndIdonotseeanypossiblelightoutofthisdarkness。\"
\"Whydon’tyoujoinatouringcompanyandleaveyourmotherinVienna?\"
\"What!Leavemypoor,little,sick,widowedmotherinVienna!SoonerthanthatIwoulddrownmyself。IlovemymotherasIlovenobodyelseintheworld——nobodyandnothing!Doyouthinkitisimpossibletoloveone’stragedy?’OutofmygreatsorrowsImakemylittlesongs,’thatisHeineormyself。\"
\"Oh,well,that’sallright,\"Isaidcheerfully。
\"’Butitisnotallright!\"
Isuggestedweshouldturnback。Weturned。
\"SometimesIthinkthesolutionliesinmarriage,\"saidFrauleinSonia。
\"IfIfindasimple,peacefulmanwhoadoresmeandwilllookaftermamma——amanwhowouldbeformeapillow——forgeniuscannothopetomate——I
shallmarryhim……YouknowtheHerrProfessorhaspaidmeverymarkedattentions。\"
\"Oh,FrauleinSonia,\"Isaid,verypleasedwithmyself,\"whynotmarryhimtoyourmother?\"Wewerepassingthehairdresser’sshopatthemoment。
FrauleinSoniaclutchedmyarm。
\"You,you,\"shestammered。\"Thecruelty。Iamgoingtofaint。MammatomarryagainbeforeImarry——theindignity。Iamgoingtofainthereandnow。\"
Iwasfrightened。\"Youcan’t,\"Isaid,shakingher。
\"Comebacktothepensionandfaintasmuchasyouplease。Butyoucan’tfainthere。Alltheshopsareclosed。Thereisnobodyabout。Pleasedon’tbesofoolish。\"
\"Hereandhereonly!\"Sheindicatedtheexactspotanddroppedquitebeautifully,lyingmotionless。
\"Verywell,\"Isaid,\"faintaway;butpleasehurryoverit。\"
Shedidnotmove。Ibegantowalkhome,buteachtimeIlookedbehindmeI
sawthedarkformofthemodernsoulpronebeforethehairdresser’swindow。
FinallyIran,androotedouttheHerrProfessorfromhisroom。\"FrauleinSoniahasfainted,\"Isaidcrossly。
\"DulieberGott!Where?How?\"
\"Outsidethehairdresser’sshopintheStationRoad。\"
\"JesusandMaria!Hasshenowaterwithher?\"——heseizedhiscarafe——
\"nobodybesideher?\"
\"Nothing。\"
\"Whereismycoat?Nomatter,Ishallcatchacoldonthechest。
Willingly,Ishallcatchone……Youarereadytocomewithme?\"
\"No,\"Isaid;\"youcantakethewaiter。\"
\"Butshemusthaveawoman。Icannotbesoindelicateastoattempttoloosenherstays。\"
\"Modernsoulsoughtn’ttowearthem,\"saidI。Hepushedpastmeandclattereddownthestairs……
WhenIcamedowntobreakfastnextmorningthereweretwoplacesvacantattable。FrauleinSoniaandHerrProfessorhadgoneoffforaday’sexcursioninthewoods。
Iwondered。
7。ATLEHMANN’S。
CertainlySabinadidnotfindlifeslow。Shewasonthetrotfromearlymorninguntillateatnight。Atfiveo’clockshetumbledoutofbed,buttonedonherclothes,wearingalong—sleevedalpacapinaforeoverherblackfrock,andgropedherwaydownstairsintothekitchen。
Anna,thecook,hadgrownsofatduringthesummerthatsheadoredherbedbecauseshedidnothavetowearhercorsetsthere,butcouldspreadasmuchassheliked,rollaboutunderthegreatmattress,callinguponJesusandHolyMaryandBlessedAnthonyhimselfthatherlifewasnotfitforapiginacellar。
Sabinawasnewtoherwork。Pinkcolourstillflewinhercheeks;therewasalittledimpleontheleftsideofhermouththatevenwhenshewasmostserious,mostabsorbed,poppedoutandgaveheraway。AndAnnablessedthatdimple。Itmeantanextrahalf—hourinbedforher;itmadeSabinalightthefire,turnoutthekitchenandwashendlesscupsandsaucersthathadbeenleftoverfromtheeveningbefore。Hans,thesculleryboy,didnotcomeuntilseven。Hewasthesonofthebutcher——amean,undersizedchildverymuchlikeoneofhisfather’ssausages,Sabinathought。Hisredfacewascoveredwithpimples,andhisnailsindescribablyfilthy。WhenHerrLehmannhimselftoldHanstogetahairpinandcleanthemhesaidtheywerestainedfrombirthbecausehismotherhadalwaysgotsoinkydoingtheaccounts——andSabinabelievedhimandpitiedhim。
WinterhadcomeveryearlytoMindelbau。BytheendofOctoberthestreetswerebankedwaist—highwithsnow,andthegreaternumberofthe\"CureGuests,\"sickuntodeathofcoldwaterandherbs,haddepartedinnothingapproachingpeace。SothelargesalonwasshutatLehmann’sandthebreakfast—roomwasalltheaccommodationthecafeafforded。Herethefloorhadtobewashedover,thetablesrubbed,coffee—cupssetout,eachwithitslittlechinaplatterofsugar,andnewspapersandmagazineshungontheirhooksalongthewallsbeforeHerrLehmannappearedatseven—thirtyandopenedbusiness。
Asarulehiswifeservedintheshopleadingintothecafe,butshehadchosenthequietseasontohaveababy,and,abigwomanatthebestoftimes,shehadgrownsoenormousintheprocessthatherhusbandtoldhershelookedunappetising,andhadbetterremainupstairsandsew。
Sabinatookontheextraworkwithoutanythoughtofextrapay。Shelovedtostandbehindthecounter,cuttingupslicesofAnna’smarvellouschocolate—spottedconfections,ordoinguppacketsofsugaralmondsinpinkandbluestripedbags。
\"You’llgetvaricoseveins,likeme,\"saidAnna。\"That’swhattheFrau’sgot,too。Nowonderthebabydoesn’tcome!Allherswelling’sgotintoherlegs。\"AndHanswasimmenselyinterested。
Duringthemorningbusinesswascomparativelyslack。Sabinaansweredtheshopbell,attendedtoafewcustomerswhodrankaliqueurtowarmtheirstomachsbeforethemiddaymeal,andranupstairsnowandagaintoasktheFrauifshewantedanything。Butintheafternoonsixorsevenchoicespiritsplayedcards,andeverybodywhowasanybodydrankteaorcoffee。
\"Sabina……Sabina……\"
Sheflewfromonetabletotheother,countingouthandfulsofsmallchange,givingorderstoAnnathroughthe\"slide,\"helpingthemenwiththeirheavycoats,alwayswiththatmagicalchildairabouther,thatdelightfulsenseofperpetuallyattendingaparty。
\"HowistheFrauLehmann?\"thewomenwouldwhisper。
\"Shefeelsratherlow,butaswellascanbeexpected,\"Sabinawouldanswer,noddingconfidentially。
FrauLehmann’sbadtimewasapproaching。Annaandherfriendsreferredtoitasher\"journeytoRome,\"andSabinalongedtoaskquestions,yet,beingashamedofherignorance,wassilent,tryingtopuzzleitoutforherself。
SheknewpracticallynothingexceptthattheFrauhadababyinsideher,whichhadtocomeout——verypainfulindeed。Onecouldnothaveonewithoutahusband——thatshealsorealised。Butwhathadthemangottodowithit?
Soshewonderedasshesatmendingteatowelsintheevening,headbentoverherwork,lightshiningonherbrowncurls。Birth——whatwasit?
wonderedSabina。Death——suchasimplething。Shehadalittlepictureofherdeadgrandmotherdressedinablacksilkfrock,tiredhandsclaspingthecrucifixthatdraggedbetweenherflattenedbreasts,mouthcuriouslytight,yetalmostsecretlysmiling。Butthegrandmotherhadbeenbornonce——thatwastheimportantfact。
Asshesatthereoneevening,thinking,theYoungManenteredthecafe,andcalledforaglassofportwine。Sabinaroseslowly。Thelongdayandthehotroommadeherfeelalittlelanguid,butasshepouredoutthewineshefelttheYoungMan’seyesfixedonher,lookeddownathimanddimpled。
\"It’scoldout,\"shesaid,corkingthebottle。
TheYoungManranhishandsthroughhissnow—powderedhairandlaughed。
\"Iwouldn’tcallitexactlytropical,\"hesaid,\"Butyou’reverysnuginhere——lookasthoughyou’vebeenasleep。\"
VerylanguidfeltSabinainthehotroom,andtheYoungMan’svoicewasstronganddeep。Shethoughtshehadneverseenanybodywholookedsostrong——asthoughhecouldtakeupthetableinonehand——andhisrestlessgazewanderingoverherfaceandfiguregaveheracuriousthrilldeepinherbody,halfpleasure,halfpain……Shewantedtostandthere,closebesidehim,whilehedrankhiswine。Alittlesilencefollowed。Thenhetookabookoutofhispocket,andSabinawentbacktohersewing。Sittingthereinthecorner,shelistenedtothesoundoftheleavesbeingturnedandtheloudtickingoftheclockthathungoverthegiltmirror。Shewantedtolookathimagain——therewasasomethingabouthim,inhisdeepvoice,eveninthewayhisclothesfitted。FromtheroomabovesheheardtheheavydraggingsoundofFrauLehmann’sfootsteps,andagaintheoldthoughtsworriedSabina。Ifsheherselfshouldonedaylooklikethat——feellikethat!Yetitwouldbeverysweettohavealittlebabytodressandjumpupanddown。
\"Fraulein——what’syourname——whatareyousmilingat?\"calledtheYoungMan。
Sheblushedandlookedup,handsquietinherlap,lookedacrosstheemptytablesandshookherhead。
\"Comehere,andI’llshowyouapicture,\"hecommanded。
Shewentandstoodbesidehim。Heopenedthebook,andSabinasawacolouredsketchofanakedgirlsittingontheedgeofagreat,crumpledbed,aman’soperahatonthebackofherhead。
Heputhishandoverthebody,leavingonlythefaceexposed,thenscrutinisedSabinaclosely。
\"Well?\"
\"Whatdoyoumean?\"sheasked,knowingperfectlywell。
\"Why,itmightbeyourownphotograph——theface,Imean——that’sasfarasI
canjudge。\"
\"Butthehair’sdonedifferently,\"saidSabina,laughing。Shethrewbackherhead,andthelaughterbubbledinherroundwhitethroat。
\"It’sratheranicepicture,don’tyouthink?\"heasked。Butshewaslookingatacuriousringheworeonthehandthatcoveredthegirl’sbody,andonlynodded。
\"Everseenanythinglikeitbefore?\"
\"Oh,there’splentyofthosefunnyonesintheillustratedpapers。\"
\"Howwouldyouliketohaveyourpicturetakenthatway?\"
\"Me?I’dneverletanybodyseeit。Besides,Ihaven’tgotahatlikethat!\"
\"That’seasilyremedied。\"
Againalittlesilence,brokenbyAnnathrowinguptheslide。
Sabinaranintothekitchen。
\"Here,takethismilkandegguptotheFrau,\"saidAnna。\"Who’veyougotinthere?\"
\"Gotsuchafunnyman!Ithinkhe’salittlegonehere,\"tappingherforehead。
UpstairsintheuglyroomtheFrausatsewing,ablackshawlroundhershoulders,herfeetencasedinredwoollenslippers。Thegirlputthemilkonatablebyher,thenstood,polishingaspoononherapron。
\"Nothingelse?\"
\"Na,\"saidtheFrau,heavingupinherchair。\"Where’smyman?\"
\"He’splayingcardsoveratSnipold’s。Doyouwanthim?\"
\"Dearheaven,leavehimalone。I’mnothing。Idon’tmatter……Andthewholedaywaitinghere。\"
Herhandshookasshewipedtherimoftheglasswithherfatfinger。
\"ShallIhelpyoutobed?\"
\"Yougodownstairs,leavemealone。TellAnnanottoletHansgrubthesugar——givehimoneontheear。\"
\"Ugly——ugly——ugly,\"mutteredSabina,returningtothecafewheretheYoungManstoodcoat—buttoned,readyfordeparture。
\"I’llcomeagainto—morrow,\"saidhe。\"Don’ttwistyourhairbacksotightly;itwillloseallitscurl。\"
\"Well,youareafunnyone,\"shesaid。\"Goodnight。\"
BythetimeSabinawasreadyforbedAnnawassnoring。Shebrushedoutherlonghairandgathereditinherhands……Perhapsitwouldbeapityifitlostallitscurl。Thenshelookeddownatherstraightchemise,anddrawingitoff,satdownonthesideofthebed。
\"Iwish,\"shewhispered,smilingsleepily,\"therewasagreatbiglooking—glassinthisroom。\"
Lyingdowninthedarkness,shehuggedherlittlebody。
\"Iwouldn’tbetheFrauforonehundredmarks——notforathousandmarks。
Tolooklikethat。\"
Andhalf—dreaming,sheimaginedherselfheavingupinherchairwiththeportwinebottleinherhandastheYoungManenteredthecafe。
Coldanddarkthenextmorning。Sabinawoke,tired,feelingasthoughsomethingheavyhadbeenpressingunderherheartallnight。Therewasasoundoffootstepsshufflingalongthepassage。HerrLehmann!Shemusthaveoversleptherself。Yes,hewasrattlingthedoor—handle。
\"Onemoment,onemoment,\"shecalled,draggingonherstockings。
\"Bina,tellAnnatogototheFrau——butquickly。Imustrideforthenurse。\"
\"Yes,yes!\"shecried。\"Hasitcome?\"
Buthehadgone,andsheranovertoAnnaandshookherbytheshoulder。
\"TheFrau——thebaby——HerrLehmannforthenurse,\"shestuttered。
\"NameofGod!\"saidAnna,flingingherselfoutofbed。
Nocomplaintsto—day。Importance——enthusiasminAnna’swholebearing。
\"Yourundownstairsandlighttheoven。Putonapanofwater\"——speakingtoanimaginarysuffererasshefastenedherblouse——\"Yes,yes,Iknow——wemustbeworsebeforewearebetter——I’mcoming——patience。\"
Itwasdarkallthatday。Lightswereturnedonimmediatelythecafeopened,andbusinesswasverybrisk。Anna,turnedoutoftheFrau’sroombythenurse,refusedtowork,andsatinacornernursingherself,listeningtosoundsoverhead。HanswasmoresympatheticthanSabina。Healsoforsookwork,andstoodbythewindow,pickinghisnose。
\"ButwhymustIdoeverything?\"saidSabina,washingglasses。\"Ican’thelptheFrau;sheoughtn’ttotakesuchatimeaboutit。\"
\"Listen,\"saidAnna,\"they’vemovedherintothebackbedroomabovehere,soasnottodisturbthepeople。Thatwasagroan——thatone!\"
\"Twosmallbeers,\"shoutedHerrLehmannthroughtheslide。
\"Onemoment,onemoment。\"
Ateighto’clockthecafewasdeserted。Sabinasatdowninthecornerwithouthersewing。NothingseemedtohavehappenedtotheFrau。Adoctorhadcome——thatwasall。
\"Ach,\"saidSabina。\"Ithinknomoreofit。Ilistennomore。Ach,I
wouldliketogoaway——Ihatethistalk。Iwillnothearit。No,itistoomuch。\"Sheleanedbothelbowsonthetable——cuppedherfaceinherhandsandpouted。
Buttheouterdoorsuddenlyopening,shesprangtoherfeetandlaughed。
ItwastheYoungManagain。Heorderedmoreport,andbroughtnobookthistime。
\"Don’tgoandsitmilesaway,\"hegrumbled。\"Iwanttobeamused。Andhere,takemycoat。Can’tyoudryitsomewhere?——snowingagain。\"
\"There’sawarmplace——theladies’cloak—room,\"shesaid。\"I’lltakeitinthere——justbythekitchen。\"
Shefeltbetter,andquitehappyagain。
\"I’llcomewithyou,\"hesaid。\"I’llseewhereyouputit。\"
Andthatdidnotseematallextraordinary。Shelaughedandbeckonedtohim。
\"Inhere,\"shecried。\"Feelhowwarm。I’llputmorewoodonthatoven。
Itdoesn’tmatter,they’reallbusyupstairs。\"
Shekneltdownonthefloor,andthrustthewoodintotheoven,laughingatherownwickedextravagance。
TheFrauwasforgotten,thestupiddaywasforgotten。Herewassomeonebesideherlaughing,too。TheyweretogetherinthelittlewarmroomstealingHerrLehmann’swood。Itseemedthemostexcitingadventureintheworld。Shewantedtogoonlaughing——orburstoutcrying——or——or——catchholdoftheYoungMan。
\"Whatafire,\"sheshrieked,stretchingoutherhands。
\"Here’sahand;pullup,\"saidtheYoungMan。\"There,now,you’llcatchitto—morrow。\"
Theystoodoppositetoeachother,handsstillclinging。AndagainthatstrangetremorthrilledSabina。
\"Lookhere,\"hesaidroughly,\"areyouachild,orareyouplayingatbeingone?\"
\"I——I——\"
Laughterceased。Shelookedupathimonce,thendownatthefloor,andbeganbreathinglikeafrightenedlittleanimal。
Hepulledhercloserstillandkissedhermouth。
\"Na,whatareyoudoing?\"shewhispered。
Heletgoherhands,heplacedhisonherbreasts,andtheroomseemedtoswimroundSabina。Suddenly,fromtheroomabove,afrightful,tearingshriek。
Shewrenchedherselfaway,tightenedherself,drewherselfup。
\"Whodidthat——whomadethatnoise?\"……
Inthesilencethethinwailingofababy。
\"Achk!\"shriekedSabina,rushingfromtheroom。
8。THELUFTBAD。
Ithinkitmustbetheumbrellaswhichmakeuslookridiculous。
WhenIwasadmittedintotheenclosureforthefirsttime,andsawmyfellow—batherswalkingaboutverynearly\"intheirnakeds,\"itstruckmethattheumbrellasgaveadistinctly\"LittleBlackSambo\"touch。
Ridiculousdignityinholdingoveryourselfagreencottonthingwitharedparroquethandlewhenyouaredressedinnothinglargerthanahandkerchief。
Therearenotreesinthe\"LuftBad。\"Itboastsacollectionofplain,woodencells,abathshelter,twoswingsandtwooddclubs——one,presumablythelostpropertyofHerculesortheGermanarmy,andtheothertobeusedwithsafetyinthecradle。
Andthereinallweatherswetaketheair——walking,orsittinginlittlecompaniestalkingovereachother’sailmentsandmeasurementsandillsthatfleshisheirto。
Ahighwoodenwallcompassesusallabout;aboveitthepine—treeslookdownalittlesuperciliously,nudgingeachotherinawaythatispeculiarlytryingtoadebutante。Overthewall,ontherightside,isthemen’ssection。Wehearthemchoppingdowntreesandsawingthroughplanks,dashingheavyweightstotheground,andsingingpartsongs。Yes,theytakeitfarmoreseriously。
OnthefirstdayIwasconsciousofmylegs,andwentbackintomycellthreetimestolookatmywatch,butwhenawomanwithwhomIhadplayedchessforthreeweekscutmedead,Itookheartandjoinedacircle。
WelaycurledonthegroundwhileaHungarianladyofimmenseproportionstolduswhatabeautifultombshehadboughtforhersecondhusband。
\"Avaultitis,\"shesaid,\"withniceblackrailings。AndsolargethatI
cangodownthereandwalkabout。Boththeirphotographsarethere,withtwoveryhandsomewreathssentmebymyfirsthusband’sbrother。Thereisanenlargementofafamilygroupphotograph,too,andanilluminatedaddresspresentedtomyfirsthusbandonhismarriage。Iamoftenthere;
itmakessuchapleasantexcursionforafineSaturdayafternoon。\"
Shesuddenlylaydownflatonherback,tookinsixlongbreaths,andsatupagain。
\"Thedeathagonywasdreadful,\"shesaidbrightly;\"ofthesecond,Imean。
The’first’wasrunintobyafurniturewagon,andhadfiftymarksstolenoutofanewwaistcoatpocket,butthe’second’wasdyingforsixty—sevenhours。Ineverceasedcryingonce——noteventoputthechildrentobed。\"
AyoungRussian,witha\"bang\"curlonherforehead,turnedtome。
\"Canyoudothe’Salome’dance?\"sheasked。\"Ican。\"
\"Howdelightful,\"Isaid。
\"ShallIdoitnow?Wouldyouliketoseeme?\"
Shesprangtoherfeet,executedaseriesofamazingcontortionsforthenexttenminutes,andthenpaused,panting,twistingherlonghair。
\"Isn’tthatnice?\"shesaid。\"AndnowIamperspiringsosplendidly。I
shallgoandtakeabath。\"
OppositetomewasthebrownestwomanIhaveeverseen,lyingonherback,herarmsclaspedoverherhead。
\"Howlonghaveyoubeenhereto—day?\"shewasasked。
\"Oh,Ispendthedayherenow,\"sheanswered。\"Iammakingmyown’cure,’
andlivingentirelyonrawvegetablesandnuts,andeachdayIfeelmyspiritisstrongerandpurer。Afterall,whatcanyouexpect?Themajorityofusarewalkingaboutwithpigcorpusclesandoxenfragmentsinourbrain。Thewonderistheworldisasgoodasitis。NowIliveonthesimple,providedfood\"——shepointedtoalittlebagbesideher——\"alettuce,acarrot,apotato,andsomenutsareample,rationalnourishment。Iwashthemunderthetapandeatthemraw,justastheycomefromtheharmlessearth——freshanduncontaminated。\"
\"Doyoutakenothingelseallday?\"Icried。
\"Water。AndperhapsabananaifIwakeinthenight。\"Sheturnedroundandleanedononeelbow。\"Youover—eatyourselfdreadfully,\"shesaid;
\"shamelessly!HowcanyouexpecttheFlameoftheSpirittoburnbrightlyunderlayersofsuperfluousflesh?\"
Iwishedshewouldnotstareatme,andthoughtofgoingtolookatmywatchagainwhenalittlegirlwearingastringofcoralbeadsjoinedus。
\"ThepoorFrauHauptmanncannotjoinusto—day,\"shesaid;\"shehascomeoutinspotsalloveronaccountofhernerves。Shewasveryexcitedyesterdayafterhavingwrittentwopost—cards。\"
\"Adelicatewoman,\"volunteeredtheHungarian,\"butpleasant。Fancy,shehasaseparateplateforeachofherfrontteeth!Butshehasnorighttoletherdaughterswearsuchshortsailorsuits。Theysitaboutonbenches,crossingtheirlegsinamostshamelessmanner。Whatareyougoingtodothisafternoon,FrauleinAnna?\"
\"Oh,\"saidtheCoralNecklace,\"theHerrOberleutnanthasaskedmetogowithhimtoLandsdorf。Hemustbuysomeeggstheretotakehometohismother。Hesavesapennyoneighteggsbyknowingtherightpeasantstobargainwith。\"
\"AreyouanAmerican?\"saidtheVegetableLady,turningtome。
\"No。\"
\"ThenyouareanEnglishwoman?\"
\"Well,hardly——\"
\"Youmustbeoneofthetwo;youcannothelpit。Ihaveseenyouwalkingaloneseveraltimes。Youwearyour——\"
Igotupandclimbedontotheswing。Theairwassweetandcool,rushingpastmybody。Above,whitecloudstraileddelicatelythroughthebluesky。
Fromthepineforeststreamedawildperfume,thebranchesswayedtogether,rhythmically,sonorously。Ifeltsolightandfreeandhappy——sochildish!
Iwantedtopokemytongueoutatthecircleonthegrass,who,drawingclosetogether,werewhisperingmeaningly。
\"Perhapsyoudonotknow,\"criedavoicefromoneofthecells,\"toswingisveryupsettingforthestomach?Afriendofminecouldkeepnothingdownforthreeweeksafterexcitingherselfso。\"
Iwenttothebathshelterandwashosed。
AsIdressed,someonetappedonthewall。
\"Doyouknow,\"saidavoice,\"thereisamanwhoLIVESintheLuftBadnextdoor?HeburieshimselfuptothearmpitsinmudandrefusestobelieveintheTrinity。\"
TheumbrellasarethesavinggraceoftheLuftBad。NowwhenIgo,Itakemyhusband’s\"storm\"gampandsitinacorner,hidingbehindit。
NotthatIamintheleastashamedofmylegs。
9。ABIRTHDAY。
AndreasBinzerwokeslowly。Heturnedoveronthenarrowbedandstretchedhimself——yawned——openinghismouthaswidelyaspossibleandbringinghisteethtogetherafterwardswithasharp\"click。\"Thesoundofthatclickfascinatedhim;herepeateditquicklyseveraltimes,withasnappingmovementofthejaws。Whatteeth!hethought。Soundasabell,everymanjackofthem。Neverhadoneout,neverhadonestopped。Thatcomesofnotomfooleryineating,andagoodregularbrushingnightandmorning。Heraisedhimselfonhisleftelbowandwavedhisrightarmoverthesideofthebedtofeelforthechairwhereheputhiswatchandchainovernight。
Nochairwasthere——ofcourse,he’dforgotten,therewasn’tachairinthiswretchedspareroom。Hadtoputtheconfoundedthingunderhispillow。
\"Half—pasteight,Sunday,breakfastatnine——timeforthebath\"——hisbraintickedtothewatch。Hesprangoutofbedandwentovertothewindow。
Thevenetianblindwasbroken,hungfan—shapedovertheupperpane……\"Thatblindmustbemended。I’llgettheofficeboytodropinandfixitonhiswayhometo—morrow——he’sagoodhandatblinds。Givehimtwopenceandhe’lldoitaswellasacarpenter……Annacoulddoitherselfifshewasallright。SowouldI,forthematterofthat,butIdon’tliketotrustmyselfonricketystep—ladders。\"Helookedupatthesky:itshone,strangelywhite,unfleckedwithcloud;helookeddownattherowofgardenstripsandbackyards。Thefenceofthesegardenswasbuiltalongtheedgeofagully,spannedbyanironsuspensionbridge,andthepeoplehadawretchedhabitofthrowingtheiremptytinsoverthefenceintothegully。
Justlikethem,ofcourse!Andreasstartedcountingthetins,anddecided,viciously,towritealettertothepapersaboutitandsignit——signitinfull。
Theservantgirlcameoutoftheirbackdoorintotheyard,carryinghisboots。Shethrewonedownontheground,thrustherhandintotheother,andstaredatit,suckinginhercheeks。Suddenlyshebentforward,spatonthetoecap,andstartedpolishingwithabrushrootedoutofherapronpocket……\"Slutofagirl!Heavenknowswhatinfectiousdiseasemaybebreedingnowinthatboot。Annamustgetridofthatgirl——evenifshehastodowithoutoneforabit——assoonasshe’supandaboutagain。Thewayshechuckedonebootdownandthenspatupontheother!Shedidn’tcarewhosebootsshe’dgotholdof。SHEhadnofalsenotionsoftherespectduetothemasterofthehouse。\"Heturnedawayfromthewindowandswitchedhisbathtowelfromthewashstandrail,sickatheart。\"I’mtoosensitiveforaman——that’swhat’sthematterwithme。Havebeenfromthebeginning,andwillbetotheend。\"
Therewasagentleknockatthedoorandhismothercamein。Sheclosedthedoorafterherandleantagainstit。Andreasnoticedthathercapwascrooked,andalongtailofhairhungoverhershoulder。Hewentforwardandkissedher。
\"Goodmorning,mother;how’sAnna?\"
Theoldwomanspokequickly,claspingandunclaspingherhands。
\"Andreas,pleasegotoDoctorErbassoonasyouaredressed。\"
\"Why,\"hesaid,\"isshebad?\"
FrauBinzernodded,andAndreas,watchingher,sawherfacesuddenlychange;afinenetworkofwrinklesseemedtopulloveritfromundertheskinsurface。
\"Sitdownonthebedamoment,\"hesaid。\"Beenupallnight?\"
\"Yes。No,Iwon’tsitdown,Imustgobacktoher。Annahasbeeninpainallnight。Shewouldn’thaveyoudisturbedbeforebecauseshesaidyoulookedsorundownyesterday。Youtoldheryouhadcaughtacoldandbeenveryworried。\"
StraightwayAndreasfeltthathewasbeingaccused。
\"Well,shemademetellher,worrieditoutofme;youknowthewayshedoes。\"
AgainFrauBinzernodded。
\"Ohyes,Iknow。Shesays,isyourcoldbetter,andthere’sawarmundervestforyouintheleft—handcornerofthebigdrawer。\"
QuiteautomaticallyAndreasclearedhisthroattwice。
\"Yes,\"heanswered。\"Tellhermythroatcertainlyfeelslooser。IsupposeI’dbetternotdisturbher?\"
\"No,andbesides,TIME,Andreas。\"
\"I’llbereadyinfiveminutes。\"
Theywentintothepassage。AsFrauBinzeropenedthedoorofthefrontbedroom,alongwailcamefromtheroom。
ThatshockedandterrifiedAndreas。Hedashedintothebathroom,turnedonbothtapsasfarastheywouldgo,cleanedhisteethandparedhisnailswhilethewaterwasrunning。
\"Frightfulbusiness,frightfulbusiness,\"heheardhimselfwhispering。
\"AndIcan’tunderstandit。Itisn’tasthoughitwereherfirst——it’sherthird。OldSchafertoldme,yesterday,hiswifesimply’dropped’herfourth。Annaoughttohavehadaqualifiednurse。Mothergiveswaytoher。Motherspoilsher。IwonderwhatshemeantbysayingI’dworriedAnnayesterday。Niceremarktomaketoahusbandatatimelikethis。
Unstrung,Isuppose——andmysensitivenessagain。\"
Whenhewentintothekitchenforhisboots,theservantgirlwasbentoverthestove,cookingbreakfast。\"Breathingintothat,now,Isuppose,\"
thoughtAndreas,andwasveryshortwiththeservantgirl。Shedidnotnotice。Shewasfullofterrifiedjoyandimportanceinthegoingsonupstairs。Shefeltshewaslearningthesecretsoflifewitheverybreathshedrew。Hadlaidthetablethatmorningsaying,\"Boy,\"assheputdownthefirstdish,\"Girl,\"assheplacedthesecond——ithadworkedoutwiththesaltspoonto\"Boy。\"\"FortwopinsI’dtellthemasterthat,tocomforthim,like,\"shedecided。ButtheMastergavehernoopening。
\"Putanextracupandsauceronthetable,\"hesaid;\"thedoctormaywantsomecoffee。\"
\"Thedoctor,sir?\"Theservantgirlwhippedaspoonoutofapan,andspilttwodropsofgreaseonthestove。\"ShallIfrysomethingextra?\"
Butthemasterhadgone,slammingthedoorafterhim。Hewalkeddownthestreet——therewasnobodyaboutatall——deadandalivethisplaceonaSundaymorning。Ashecrossedthesuspensionbridgeastrongstenchoffennelanddecayedrefusestreamedfromthegulley,andagainAndreasbeganconcoctingaletter。Heturnedintothemainroad。Theshutterswerestillupbeforetheshops。Scrapsofnewspaper,hay,andfruitskinsstrewedthepavement;thegutterswerechokedwiththeleavingsofSaturdaynight。Twodogssprawledinthemiddleoftheroad,scufflingandbiting。
Onlythepublic—houseatthecornerwasopen;ayoungbarmansloppedwateroverthedoorstep。
Fastidiously,hislipscurling,Andreaspickedhiswaythroughthewater。
\"ExtraordinaryhowIamnoticingthingsthismorning。It’spartlytheeffectofSunday。IloatheaSundaywhenAnna’stiedbythelegandthechildrenareaway。OnSundayamanhastherighttoexpecthisfamily。
Everythinghere’sfilthy,thewholeplacemightbedownwiththeplague,andwillbe,too,ifthisstreet’snotsweptaway。I’dliketohaveahandonthegovernmentropes。\"Hebracedhisshoulders。\"Nowforthisdoctor。\"
\"DoctorErbisatbreakfast,\"themaidinformedhim。Sheshowedhimintothewaiting—room,adarkandmustyplace,withsomefernsunderaglass—casebythewindow。\"Hesayshewon’tbeaminute,please,sir,andthereisapaperonthetable。\"
\"Unhealthyhole,\"thoughtBinzer,walkingovertothewindowanddrumminghisfingersontheglassfern—shade。\"Atbreakfast,ishe?That’sthemistakeImade:turningoutearlyonanemptystomach。\"
Amilkcartrattleddownthestreet,thedriverstandingattheback,crackingawhip;heworeanimmensegeraniumflowerstuckinthelapelofhiscoat。Firmasarockhestood,bendingbackalittleintheswayingcart。Andreascranedhisnecktowatchhimallthewaydowntheroad,evenafterhehadgone,listeningforthesharpsoundofthoserattlingcans。
\"H’m,notmuchwrongwithhim,\"hereflected。\"Wouldn’tmindatasteofthatlifemyself。Upearly,workalloverbyeleveno’clock,nothingtodobutloafaboutalldayuntilmilkingtime。\"Whichheknewwasanexaggeration,buthewantedtopityhimself。
Themaidopenedthedoor,andstoodasideforDoctorErb。Andreaswheeledround;thetwomenshookhands。
\"Well,Binzer,\"saidthedoctorjovially,brushingsomecrumbsfromapearl—colouredwaistcoat,\"sonandheirbecomingimportunate?\"
UpwentBinzer’sspiritswithabound。Sonandheir,byJove!Hewasgladtohavetodealwithamanagain。Andasanefellowthis,whocameacrossthissortofthingeverydayoftheweek。
\"That’saboutthemeasureofit,Doctor,\"heanswered,smilingandpickinguphishat。\"Motherdraggedmeoutofbedthismorningwithimperativeorderstobringyoualong。\"
\"Gigwillberoundinaminute。Drivebackwithme,won’tyou?
Extraordinary,sultryday;you’reasredasabeetrootalready。\"
Andreasaffectedtolaugh。Thedoctorhadoneannoyinghabit——imaginedhehadtherighttopokefunateverybodysimplybecausehewasadoctor。
\"Theman’sriddledwithconceit,likealltheseprofessionals,\"Andreasdecided。
\"WhatsortofnightdidFrauBinzerhave?\"askedthedoctor。\"Ah,here’sthegig。Tellmeonthewayup。Sitasnearthemiddleasyoucan,willyou,Binzer?Yourweighttiltsitoverabitoneside——that’stheworstofyousuccessfulbusinessmen。\"
\"TwostoneheavierthanI,ifhe’sapound,\"thoughtAndreas。\"Themanmaybeallrightinhisprofession——butheavenpreserveme。\"
\"Offyougo,mybeauty。\"DoctorErbflickedthelittlebrownmare。\"Didyourwifegetanysleeplastnight?\"
\"No;Idon’tthinkshedid,\"answeredAndreasshortly。\"Totellyouthetruth,I’mnotsatisfiedthatshehasn’tanurse。\"
\"Oh,yourmother’sworthadozennurses,\"criedthedoctor,withimmensegusto。\"Totellyouthetruth,I’mnotkeenonnurses——tooraw——rawasrump—steak。TheywrestleforababyasthoughtheywerewrestlingwithDeathforthebodyofPatroclus……EverseenthatpicturebyanEnglishartist。Leighton?Wonderfulthing——fullofsinew!\"
\"Therehegoesagain,\"thoughtAndreas,\"airingoffhisknowledgetomakeafoolofme。\"
\"Nowyourmother——she’sfirm——she’scapable。Doeswhatshe’stoldwithafundofsympathy。Lookattheseshopswe’repassing——they’refesteringsores。Howonearththisgovernmentcantolerate——\"
\"They’renotsobad——soundenough——onlywantacoatofpaint。\"
Thedoctorwhistledalittletuneandflickedthemareagain。
\"Well,Ihopetheyoungshaverwon’tgivehismothertoomuchtrouble,\"hesaid。\"Hereweare。\"
Askinnylittleboy,whohadbeenslidingupanddownthebackseatofthegig,sprangoutandheldthehorse’shead。Andreaswentstraightintothedining—roomandlefttheservantgirltotakethedoctorupstairs。Hesatdown,pouredoutsomecoffee,andbitthroughhalfarollbeforehelpinghimselftofish。Thenhenoticedtherewasnohotplateforthefish——thewholehousewasatsixesandsevens。Herangthebell,buttheservantgirlcameinwithatrayholdingabowlofsoupandahotplate。
\"I’vebeenkeepingthemonthestove,\"shesimpered。
\"Ah,thanks,that’sverykindofyou。\"Asheswallowedthesouphisheartwarmedtothisfoolofagirl。
\"Oh,it’sagoodthingDoctorErbhascome,\"volunteeredtheservantgirl,whowasburstingforwantofsympathy。
\"H’m,h’m,\"saidAndreas。
Shewaitedamoment,expectantly,rollinghereyes,theninfullloathingofmenkindwentbacktothekitchenandvowedherselftosterility。
Andreasclearedthesoupbowl,andclearedthefish。Asheate,theroomslowlydarkened。Afaintwindsprangupandbeatthetreebranchesagainstthewindow。Thedining—roomlookedoverthebreakwateroftheharbour,andtheseaswungheavilyinrollingwaves。Windcreptroundthehouse,moaningdrearily。
\"We’reinforastorm。ThatmeansI’mboxeduphereallday。Well,there’soneblessing;it’llcleartheair。\"Heheardtheservantgirlrushingimportantlyroundthehouse,slammingwindows。Thenhecaughtaglimpseofherinthegarden,unpeggingteatowelsfromthelineacrossthelawn。Shewasaworker,therewasnodoubtaboutthat。Hetookupabook,andwheeledhisarm—chairovertothewindow。Butitwasuseless。Toodarktoread;hedidn’tbelieveinstraininghiseyes,andgasatteno’clockinthemorningseemedabsurd。Soheslippeddowninthechair,leanedhiselbowsonthepaddedarmsandgavehimselfup,foronce,toidledreaming。\"Aboy?Yes,itwasboundtobeaboythistime……\"\"What’syourfamily,Binzer?\"\"Oh,I’vetwogirlsandaboy!\"Averynicelittlenumber。Ofcoursehewasthelastmantohaveafavouritechild,butamanneededason。\"I’mworkingupthebusinessformyson!Binzer&Son!Itwouldmeanlivingverytightforthenexttenyears,cuttingexpensesasfineaspossible;andthen——\"
Atremendousgustofwindspranguponthehouse,seizedit,shookit,dropped,onlytogripthemoretightly。Thewavesswelledupalongthebreakwaterandwerewhippedwithbrokenfoam。Overthewhiteskyflewtatteredstreamersofgreycloud。
AndreasfeltquiterelievedtohearDoctorErbcomingdownthestairs;hegotupandlitthegas。
\"MindifIsmokeinhere?\"askedDoctorErb,lightingacigarettebeforeAndreashadtimetoanswer。\"Youdon’tsmoke,doyou?Notimetoindulgeinperniciouslittlehabits!\"
\"Howisshenow?\"askedAndreas,loathingtheman。
\"Oh,wellascanbeexpected,poorlittlesoul。Shebeggedmetocomedownandhavealookatyou。Saidsheknewyouwereworrying。\"Withlaughingeyesthedoctorlookedatthebreakfast—table。\"Managedtopeckabit,I
see,eh?\"
\"Hoo—wih!\"shoutedthewind,shakingthewindow—sashes。
\"Pity——thisweather,\"saidDoctorErb。
\"Yes,itgetsonAnna’snerves,andit’sjustnerveshewants。\"
\"Eh,what’sthat?\"retortedthedoctor。\"Nerve!Manalive!She’sgottwicethenerveofyouandmerolledintoone。Nerve!she’snothingbutnerve。Awomanwhoworksasshedoesaboutthehouseandhasthreechildreninfouryearsthrowninwiththedusting,sotospeak!\"
Hepitchedhishalf—smokedcigaretteintothefireplaceandfrownedatthewindow。
\"NowHE’Saccusingme,\"thoughtAndreas。\"That’sthesecondtimethismorning——firstmotherandnowthismantakingadvantageofmysensitiveness。\"Hecouldnottrusthimselftospeak,andrangthebellfortheservantgirl。
\"Clearawaythebreakfastthings,\"heordered。\"Ican’thavethemmessingaboutonthetabletilldinner!\"
\"Don’tbehardonthegirl,\"coaxedDoctorErb。\"She’sgottwicetheworktodoto—day。\"
AtthatBinzer’sangerblazedout。
\"I’lltroubleyou,Doctor,nottointerferebetweenmeandmyservants!\"
Andhefeltafoolatthesamemomentfornotsaying\"servant。\"
DoctorErbwasnotperturbed。Heshookhishead,thrusthishandsintohispockets,andbeganbalancinghimselfontoeandheel。
\"You’rejaggedbytheweather,\"hesaidwryly,\"nothingelse。Agreatpity——thisstorm。Youknowclimatehasanimmenseeffectuponbirth。A
finedayperksawoman——givesherheartforherbusiness。Goodweatherisasnecessarytoaconfinementasitistoawashingday。Notbad——thatlastremarkofmine——foraprofessionalfossil,eh?\"
Andreasmadenoreply。
\"Well,I’llbegettingbacktomypatient。Whydon’tyoutakeawalk,andclearyourhead?That’stheideaforyou。\"
\"No,\"heanswered,\"Iwon’tdothat;it’stoorough。\"
Hewentbacktohischairbythewindow。Whiletheservantgirlclearedawayhepretendedtoread……thenhisdreams!Itseemedyearssincehehadhadthetimetohimselftodreamlikethat——heneverhadabreathingspace。
Saddledwithworkallday,andcouldn’tshakeitoffintheeveninglikeothermen。Besides,Annawasinterested——theytalkedofpracticallynothingelsetogether。Excellentmothershe’dmakeforaboy;shehadagripofthings。
Churchbellsstartedringingthroughthewindyair,nowsoundingasthoughfromveryfaraway,thenagainasthoughallthechurchesinthetownhadbeensuddenlytransplantedintotheirstreet。Theystirredsomethinginhim,thosebells,somethingvagueandtender。JustaboutthattimeAnnawouldcallhimfromthehall。\"Andreas,comeandhaveyourcoatbrushed。
I’mready。\"Thenofftheywouldgo,shehangingonhisarm,andlookingupathim。Shecertainlywasalittlething。Herememberedoncesayingwhentheywereengaged,\"Justashighasmyheart,\"andshehadjumpedontoastoolandpulledhisheaddown,laughing。Akidinthosedays,youngerthanherchildreninnature,brighter,more\"go\"and\"spirit\"inher。Thewayshe’drundowntheroadtomeethimafterbusiness!Andthewayshelaughedwhentheywerelookingforahouse。ByJove!thatlaughofhers!
Atthememoryhegrinned,thengrewsuddenlygrave。Marriagecertainlychangedawomanfarmorethanitdidaman。Talkaboutsoberingdown。Shehadlostallhergointwomonths!Well,oncethisboybusinesswasovershe’dgetstronger。Hebegantoplanalittletripforthem。He’dtakeherawayandthey’dloafabouttogethersomewhere。Afterall,dashit,theywereyoungstill。She’dgotintoagroove;he’dhavetoforceheroutofit,that’sall。
Hegotupandwentintothedrawing—room,carefullyshutthedoorandtookAnna’sphotographfromthetopofthepiano。Sheworeawhitedresswithabigbowofsomesoftstuffunderthechin,andstood,alittlestiffly,holdingasheafofartificialpoppiesandcorninherhands。Delicateshelookedeventhen;hermassesofhairgaveherthatlook。Sheseemedtodroopundertheheavybraidsofit,andyetshewassmiling。Andreascaughthisbreathsharply。Shewashiswife——thatgirl。Posh!ithadonlybeentakenfouryearsago。Hehelditclosetohim,bentforwardandkissedit。Thenrubbedtheglasswiththebackofhishand。Atthatmoment,fainterthanhehadheardinthepassage,moreterrifying,Andreasheardagainthatwailingcry。Thewindcaughtitupinmockingecho,blewitoverthehouse—tops,downthestreet,farawayfromhim。Heflungouthisarms,\"I’msodamnablyhelpless,\"hesaid,andthen,tothepicture,\"Perhapsit’snotasbadasitsounds;perhapsitisjustmysensitiveness。\"Inthehalflightofthedrawing—roomthesmileseemedtodeepeninAnna’sportrait,andtobecomesecret,evencruel。\"No,\"hereflected,\"thatsmileisnotatallherhappiestexpression——itwasamistaketoletherhaveittakensmilinglikethat。Shedoesn’tlooklikemywife——likethemotherofmyson。\"Yes,thatwasit,shedidnotlooklikethemotherofasonwhowasgoingtobeapartnerinthefirm。Thepicturegotonhisnerves;hehelditindifferentlights,lookedatitfromadistance,sideways,spent,itseemedtoAndreasafterwards,awholelifetimetryingtofititin。Themoreheplayedwithitthedeepergrewhisdislikeofit。ThricehecarrieditovertothefireplaceanddecidedtochuckitbehindtheJapaneseumbrellainthegrate;thenhethoughtitabsurdtowasteanexpensiveframe。Therewasnogoodinbeatingaboutthebush。Annalookedlikeastranger——abnormal,afreak——itmightbeapicturetakenjustbeforeorafterdeath。
Suddenlyherealisedthatthewindhaddropped,thatthewholehousewasstill,terriblystill。Coldandpale,withadisgustingfeelingthatspiderswerecreepinguphisspineandacrosshisface,hestoodinthecentreofthedrawing—room,hearingDoctorErb’sfootstepsdescendingthestairs。
HesawDoctorErbcomeintotheroom;theroomseemedtochangeintoagreatglassbowlthatspunround,andDoctorErbseemedtoswimthroughthisglassbowltowardshim,likeagoldfishinapearl—colouredwaistcoat。
\"Mybelovedwifehaspassedaway!\"Hewantedtoshoutitoutbeforethedoctorspoke。
\"Well,she’shookedaboythistime!\"saidDoctorErb。Andreasstaggeredforward。
\"Lookout。Keeponyourpins,\"saidDoctorErb,catchingDinzer’sarm,andmurmuring,ashefeltit,\"Flabbyasbutter。\"
AglowspreadalloverAndreas。Hewasexultant。
\"Well,byGod!NobodycanaccuseMEofnotknowingwhatsufferingis,\"hesaid。
10。THECHILD—WHO—WAS—TIRED。
Shewasjustbeginningtowalkalongalittlewhiteroadwithtallblacktreesoneitherside,alittleroadthatledtonowhere,andwherenobodywalkedatall,whenahandgrippedhershoulder,shookher,slappedherear。
\"Oh,oh,don’tstopme,\"criedtheChild—Who—Was—Tired。\"Letmego。\"
\"Getup,yougood—for—nothingbrat,\"saidavoice;\"getupandlighttheovenorI’llshakeeveryboneoutofyourbody。\"
Withanimmenseeffortsheopenedhereyes,andsawtheFraustandingby,thebabybundledunderonearm。ThethreeotherchildrenwhosharedthesamebedwiththeChild—Who—Was—Tired,accustomedtobrawls,sleptonpeacefully。InacorneroftheroomtheManwasfasteninghisbraces。
\"Whatdoyoumeanbysleepinglikethisthewholenightthrough——likeasackofpotatoes?You’veletthebabywethisbedtwice。\"
Shedidnotanswer,buttiedherpetticoatstring,andbuttonedonherplaidfrockwithcold,shakingfingers。
\"There,that’senough。Takethebabyintothekitchenwithyou,andheatthatcoldcoffeeonthespiritlampforthemaster,andgivehimtheloafofblackbreadoutofthetabledrawer。Don’tguzzleityourselforI’llknow。\"
TheFraustaggeredacrosstheroom,flungherselfontoherbed,drawingthepinkbolsterroundhershoulders。
Itwasalmostdarkinthekitchen。Shelaidthebabyonthewoodensettle,coveringhimwithashawl,thenpouredthecoffeefromtheearthenwarejugintothesaucepan,andsetitonthespiritlamptoboil。
\"I’msleepy,\"noddedtheChild—Who—Was—Tired,kneelingonthefloorandsplittingthedamppinelogsintolittlechips。\"That’swhyI’mnotawake。\"
Theoventookalongtimetolight。Perhapsitwascold,likeherself,andsleepy……Perhapsithadbeendreamingofalittlewhiteroadwithblacktreesoneitherside,alittleroadthatledtonowhere。
ThenthedoorwaspulledviolentlyopenandtheManstrodein。
\"Here,whatareyoudoing,sittingonthefloor?\"heshouted。\"Givememycoffee。I’vegottobeoff。Ugh!Youhaven’tevenwashedoverthetable。\"
Shesprangtoherfeet,pouredhiscoffeeintoanenamelcup,andgavehimbreadandaknife,then,takingawashragfromthesink,smearedovertheblacklinoleumedtable。
\"Swineofaday——swine’slife,\"mumbledtheMan,sittingbythetableandstaringoutofthewindowatthebruisedsky,whichseemedtobulgeheavilyoverthedullland。Hestuffedhismouthwithbreadandthenswilleditdownwiththecoffee。
TheChilddrewapailofwater,turneduphersleeves,frowningthewhileatherarms,asiftoscoldthemforbeingsothin,somuchlikelittlestuntedtwigs,andbegantomopoverthefloor。
\"StopsousingaboutthewaterwhileI’mhere,\"grumbledtheMan。\"Stopthebabysnivelling;it’sbeengoingonlikethatallnight。\"
TheChildgatheredthebabyintoherlapandsatrockinghim。
\"Ts——ts——ts,\"shesaid。\"He’scuttinghiseyeteeth,that’swhatmakeshimcryso。ANDdribble——Ineverseenababydribblelikethisone。\"Shewipedhismouthandnosewithacornerofherskirt。\"Somebabiesgettheirteethwithoutyouknowingit,\"shewenton,\"andsometakeonthiswayallthetime。Ionceheardofababythatdied,andtheyfoundallit’steethinitsstomach。\"
TheMangotup,unhookedhiscloakfromthebackofthedoor,andflungitroundhim。
\"There’sanothercoming,\"saidhe。
\"What——atooth!\"exclaimedtheChild,startledforthefirsttimethatmorningoutofherdreadfulheaviness,andthrustingherfingerintothebaby’smouth。
\"No,\"hesaidgrimly,\"anotherbaby。Now,getonwithyourwork;it’stimetheothersgotupforschool。\"Shestoodamomentquitesilently,hearinghisheavystepsonthestonepassage,thenthegravelwalk,andfinallytheslamofthefrontgate。
\"Anotherbaby!Hasn’tshefinishedhavingthemYET?\"thoughttheChild。
\"Twobabiesgettingeyeteeth——twobabiestogetupforinthenight——twobabiestocarryaboutandwashtheirlittlepiggyclothes!\"Shelookedwithhorrorattheoneinherarms,who,seemingtounderstandthecontemptuousloathingofhertiredglance,doubledhisfists,stiffenedhisbody,andbeganviolentlyscreaming。
\"Ts——ts——ts。\"Shelaidhimonthesettleandwentbacktoherfloor—
washing。Heneverceasedcryingforamoment,butshegotquiteusedtoitandkepttimewithherbroom。Oh,howtiredshewas!Oh,theheavybroomhandleandtheburningspotjustatthebackofherneckthatachedso,andafunnylittleflutteringfeelingjustatthebackofherwaistband,asthoughsomethingweregoingtobreak。
Theclockstrucksix。Shesetthepanofmilkintheoven,andwentintothenextroomtowakeanddressthethreechildren。AntonandHanslaytogetherinattitudesofmutualamitywhichcertainlyneverexistedoutoftheirsleepinghours。Lenawascurledup,herkneesunderherchin,onlyastraight,standing—uppigtailofhairshowingabovethebolster。
\"Getup,\"criedtheChild,speakinginavoiceofimmenseauthority,pullingoffthebedclothesandgivingtheboyssundrypokesanddigs。
\"I’vebeencallingyouthislasthalf—hour。It’slate,andI’lltellonyouifyoudon’tgetdressedthisminute。\"
AntonawokesufficientlytoturnoverandkickHansonatenderpart,whereuponHanspulledLena’spigtailuntilsheshriekedforhermother。
\"Oh,dobequiet,\"whisperedtheChild。\"Oh,dogetupanddress。Youknowwhatwillhappen。There——I’llhelpyou。\"
Butthewarningcametoolate。TheFraugotoutofbed,walkedinadeterminedfashionintothekitchen,returningwithabundleoftwigsinherhandfastenedtogetherwithastrongcord。Onebyoneshelaidthechildrenacrossherkneeandseverelybeatthem,expendingafinalburstofenergyontheChild—Who—Was—Tired,thenreturnedtobed,withacomfortablesenseofhermaternaldutiesingoodworkingorderfortheday。Verysubdued,thethreeallowedthemselvestobedressedandwashedbytheChild,whoevenlacedtheboys’boots,havingfoundthroughexperiencethatiflefttothemselvestheyhoppedaboutforatleastfiveminutestofindacomfortableledgefortheirfoot,andthenspatontheirhandsandbrokethebootlaces。
Whileshegavethemtheirbreakfasttheybecameuproarious,andthebabywouldnotceasecrying。Whenshefilledthetinkettlewithmilk,tiedontherubberteat,and,firstmoisteningitherself,triedwithlittlecoaxingwordstomakehimdrink,hethrewthebottleontothefloorandtrembledallover。
\"Eyeteeth!\"shoutedHans,hittingAntonovertheheadwithhisemptycup;
\"he’sgettingtheevil—eyeteeth,Ishouldsay。\"
\"Smarty!\"retortedLena,pokingouthertongueathim,andthen,whenhepromptlydidthesame,cryingatthetopofhervoice,\"Mother,Hansismakingfacesatme!\"
\"That’sright,\"saidHans;\"goonhowling,andwhenyou’reinbedto—nightI’llwaittillyou’reasleep,andthenI’llcreepoverandtakealittletinypieceofyourarmandtwistandtwistituntil——\"HeleantoverthetablemakingthemosthorriblefacesatLena,notnoticingthatAntonwasstandingbehindhischairuntilthelittleboybentoverandspatonhisbrother’sshavenhead。
\"Oh,weh!oh,weh!\"
TheChild—Who—Was—Tiredpushedandpulledthemapart,muffledthemintotheircoats,anddrovethemoutofthehouse。
\"Hurry,hurry!thesecondbell’srung,\"sheurged,knowingperfectlywellshewastellingastory,andratherexultinginthefact。Shewashedupthebreakfastthings,thenwentdowntothecellartolookoutthepotatoesandbeetroot。
Suchafunny,coldplacethecoalcellar!Withpotatoesbankedononecorner,beetrootinanoldcandlebox,twotubsofsauerkraut,andatwistedmassofdahliaroots——thatlookedasrealasthoughtheywerefightingoneanother,thoughttheChild。
Shegatheredthepotatoesintoherskirt,choosingbigoneswithfeweyesbecausetheywereeasiertopeel,andbendingoverthedullheapinthesilentcellar,shebegantonod。
\"Here,you,whatareyoudoingdownthere?\"criedtheFrau,fromthetopofthestairs。\"Thebaby’sfallenoffthesettle,andgotabumpasbigasaneggoverhiseye。Comeuphere,andI’llteachyou!\"
\"Itwasn’tme——itwasn’tme!\"screamedtheChild,beatenfromonesideofthehalltotheother,sothatthepotatoesandbeetrootrolledoutofherskirt。
TheFrauseemedtobeasbigasagiant,andtherewasacertainheavinessinallhermovementsthatwasterrifyingtoanyonesosmall。
\"Sitinthecorner,andpeelandwashthevegetables,andkeepthebabyquietwhileIdothewashing。\"
Whimperingsheobeyed,butastokeepingthebabyquiet,thatwasimpossible。Hisfacewashot,littlebeadsofsweatstoodalloverhishead,andhestiffenedhisbodyandcried。Sheheldhimonherknees,withapanofcoldwaterbesideherforthecleanedvegetablesandthe\"ducks’
bucket\"forthepeelings。
\"Ts——ts——ts!\"shecrooned,scrapingandboring;\"there’sgoingtobeanothersoon,andyoucan’tbothkeeponcrying。Whydon’tyougotosleep,baby?Iwould,ifIwereyou。I’lltellyouadream。Onceuponatimetherewasalittlewhiteroad——\"
Sheshookbackherhead,agreatlumpachedinherthroatandthenthetearsrandownherfaceontothevegetables。
\"That’snogood,\"saidtheChild,shakingthemaway。\"JuststopcryinguntilI’vefinishedthis,baby,andI’llwalkyouupanddown。\"
ButbythattimeshehadtopegoutthewashingfortheFrau。Awindhadsprungup。Standingontiptoeintheyard,shealmostfeltshewouldbeblownaway。Therewasabadsmellcomingfromtheducks’coop,whichwashalffullofmanurewater,butawayinthemeadowshesawthegrassblowinglikelittlegreenhairs。Andsherememberedhavingheardofachildwhohadonceplayedforawholedayinjustsuchameadowwithrealsausagesandbeerforherdinner——andnotalittlebitoftiredness。Whohadtoldherthatstory?Shecouldnotremember,andyetitwassoplain。
Thewetclothesflappedinherfaceasshepeggedthem;dancedandjiggedontheline,bulgedoutandtwisted。Shewalkedbacktothehousewithlaggingsteps,lookinglonginglyatthegrassinthemeadow。
\"WhatmustIdonow,please?\"shesaid。
\"Makethebedsandhangthebaby’smattressoutofthewindow,thengetthewagonandtakehimforalittlewalkalongtheroad。Infrontofthehouse,mind——whereIcanseeyou。Don’tstandthere,gaping!ThencomeinwhenIcallyouandhelpmecutupthesalad。\"
WhenshehadmadethebedstheChildstoodandlookedatthem。Gentlyshestrokedthepillowwithherhand,andthen,justforonemoment,letherheadrestthere。Againthesmartinglumpinherthroat,thestupidtearsthatfellandkeptonfallingasshedressedthebabyanddraggedthelittlewagonupanddowntheroad。
Amanpassed,drivingabullockwagon。Heworealong,queerfeatherinhishat,andwhistledashepassed。Twogirlswithbundlesontheirshoulderscamewalkingoutofthevillage——oneworearedhandkerchiefaboutherheadandoneablue。Theywerelaughingandholdingeachotherbythehand。Thenthesunpushedbyaheavyfoldofgreycloudandspreadawarmyellowlightovereverything。
\"Perhaps,\"thoughttheChild—Who—Was—Tired,\"ifIwalkedfarenoughupthisroadImightcometoalittlewhiteone,withtallblacktreesoneitherside——alittleroad——\"
\"Salad,salad!\"criedtheFrau’svoicefromthehouse。
Soonthechildrencamehomefromschool,dinnerwaseaten,theMantooktheFrau’sshareofpuddingaswellashisown,andthethreechildrenseemedtosmearthemselvesalloverwithwhatevertheyate。Thenmoredish—washingandmorecleaningandbaby—minding。Sotheafternoondraggedcoldlythrough。
OldFrauGrathwohlcameinwithafreshpieceofpig’sfleshfortheFrau,andtheChildlistenedtothemgossipingtogether。
\"FrauMandawentonher’journeytoRome’lastnight,andbroughtbackadaughter。Howareyoufeeling?\"
\"Iwassicktwicethismorning,\"saidtheFrau。\"Myinsidesarealltwistedupwithhavingchildrentooquickly。\"
\"Iseeyou’vegotanewhelp,\"commentedoldMotherGrathwohl。
\"Oh,dearLord\"——theFrauloweredhervoice——\"don’tyouknowher?She’sthefree—bornone——daughterofthewaitressattherailwaystation。Theyfoundhermothertryingtosqueezeherheadinthewash—handjug,andthechild’shalfsilly。\"
\"Ts——ts——ts!\"whisperedthe\"free—born\"onetothebaby。