AsthedaydrewintheChild—Who—Was—Tireddidnotknowhowtofighthersleepinessanylonger。Shewasafraidtositdownorstandstill。AsshesatatsuppertheManandtheFrauseemedtoswelltoanimmensesizeasshewatchedthem,andthenbecomesmallerthandolls,withlittlevoicesthatseemedtocomefromoutsidethewindow。Lookingatthebaby,itsuddenlyhadtwoheads,andthennohead。Evenhiscryingmadeherfeelworse。Whenshethoughtofthenearnessofbedtimesheshookalloverwithexcitedjoy。Butaseighto’clockapproachedtherewasthesoundofwheelsontheroad,andpresentlyincameapartyoffriendstospendtheevening。
Thenitwas:
\"Putonthecoffee。\"
\"Bringmethesugartin。\"
\"Carrythechairsoutofthebedroom。\"
\"Setthetable。\"
And,finally,theFrausentherintothenextroomtokeepthebabyquiet。
Therewasalittlepieceofcandleburningintheenamelbracket。Asshewalkedupanddownshesawhergreatbigshadowonthewalllikeagrown—uppersonwithagrown—upbaby。Whateverwoulditlooklikewhenshecarriedtwobabiesso!
\"Ts——ts——ts!\"Onceuponatimeshewaswalkingalongalittlewhiteroad,withoh!suchgreatbigblacktreesoneitherside。\"
\"Hereyou!\"calledtheFrau’svoice,\"bringmemynewjacketfrombehindthedoor。\"Andasshetookitintothewarmroomoneofthewomensaid,\"Shelookslikeanowl。Suchchildrenareseldomrightintheirheads。\"
\"Whydon’tyoukeepthatbabyquiet?\"saidtheMan,whohadjustdrunkenoughbeertomakehimfeelverybraveandmasterofhishouse。
\"Ifyoudon’tkeepthatbabyquietyou’llknowwhylateron。\"
Theyburstoutlaughingasshestumbledbackintothebedroom。
\"Idon’tbelieveHolyMarycouldkeephimquiet,\"shemurmured。\"DidJesuscrylikethiswhenHewaslittle?IfIwasnotsotiredperhapsIcoulddoit;butthebabyjustknowsthatIwanttogotosleep。Andthereisgoingtobeanotherone。\"
Sheflungthebabyonthebed,andstoodlookingathimwithterror。
Fromthenextroomtherecamethejingleofglassesandthewarmsoundoflaughter。
Andshesuddenlyhadabeautifulmarvellousidea。
Shelaughedforthefirsttimethatday,andclappedherhands。
\"Ts——ts——ts!\"shesaid,\"liethere,sillyone;youWILLgotosleep。
You’llnotcryanymoreorwakeupinthenight。Funny,little,uglybaby。\"
Heopenedhiseyes,andshriekedloudlyatthesightoftheChild—Who—Was—Tired。FromthenextroomsheheardtheFraucallouttoher。
\"Onemoment——heisalmostasleep,\"shecried。
Andthengently,smiling,ontiptoe,shebroughtthepinkbolsterfromtheFrau’sbedandcoveredthebaby’sfacewithit,pressedwithallhermightashestruggled,\"likeaduckwithitsheadoff,wriggling\",shethought。
Sheheavedalongsigh,thenfellbackontothefloor,andwaswalkingalongalittlewhiteroadwithtallblacktreesoneitherside,alittleroadthatledtonowhere,andwherenobodywalkedatall——nobodyatall。
11。THEADVANCEDLADY。
\"Doyouthinkwemightaskhertocomewithus,\"saidFrauleinElsa,retyingherpinksashribbonbeforemymirror。\"Youknow,althoughsheissointellectual,Icannothelpfeelingconvincedthatshehassomesecretsorrow。AndLisatoldmethismorning,asshewasturningoutmyroom,thatsheremainshoursandhoursbyherself,writing;infactLisasayssheiswritingabook!Isupposethatiswhyshenevercarestominglewithus,andhassolittletimeforherhusbandandthechild。\"
\"Well,YOUaskher,\"saidI。\"Ihaveneverspokentothelady。\"
Elsablushedfaintly。\"Ihaveonlyspokentoheronce,\"sheconfessed。\"I
tookherabunchofwildflowers,toherroom,andshecametothedoorinawhitegown,withherhairloose。NevershallIforgetthatmoment。Shejusttooktheflowers,andIheardher——becausethedoorwasnotquiteproperlyshut——Iheardher,asIwalkeddownthepassage,saying’Purity,fragrance,thefragranceofpurityandthepurityoffragrance!’Itwaswonderful!\"
AtthatmomentFrauKellermannknockedatthedoor。
\"Areyouready?\"shesaid,comingintotheroomandnoddingtousverygenially。\"Thegentlemenarewaitingonthesteps,andIhaveaskedtheAdvancedLadytocomewithus。\"
\"Na,howextraordinary!\"criedElsa。\"ButthismomentthegnadigeFrauandIweredebatingwhether——\"
\"Yes,Imethercomingoutofherroomandshesaidshewascharmedwiththeidea。Likeallofus,shehasneverbeentoSchlingen。Sheisdownstairsnow,talkingtoHerrErchardt。Ithinkweshallhaveadelightfulafternoon。\"
\"IsFritziwaitingtoo?\"askedElsa。
\"Ofcourseheis,dearchild——asimpatientasahungrymanlisteningforthedinnerbell。Runalong!\"
Elsaran,andFrauKellermannsmiledatmesignificantly。InthepastsheandIhadseldomspokentoeachother,owingtothefactthather\"oneremainingjoy\"——hercharminglittleKarl——hadneversucceededinkindlingintoflamethosesparksofmaternitywhicharesupposedtoglowingreatnumbersuponthealtarofeveryrespectablefemaleheart;but,inviewofapremeditatedjourneytogether,webecamedelightfullycordial。
\"Forus,\"shesaid,\"therewillbeadoublejoy。Weshallbeabletowatchthehappinessofthesetwodearchildren,ElsaandFritz。Theyonlyreceivedthelettersofblessingfromtheirparentsyesterdaymorning。Itisaverystrangething,butwheneverIaminthecompanyofnewly—engagedcouplesIblossom。Newly—engagedcouples,motherswithfirstbabies,andnormaldeathbedshavepreciselythesameeffectonme。Shallwejointheothers?\"
Iwaslongingtoaskherwhynormaldeathbedsshouldcauseanyonetoburstintoflower,andsaid,\"Yes,doletus。\"
Weweregreetedbythelittlepartyof\"cureguests\"onthepensionsteps,withthosecriesofjoyandexcitementwhichheraldsopleasantlythemildestGermanexcursion。HerrErchardtandIhadnotmetbeforethatday,so,inaccordancewithstrictpensioncustom,weaskedeachotherhowlongwehadsleptduringthenight,hadwedreamedagreeably,whattimewehadgotup,wasthecoffeefreshwhenwehadappearedatbreakfast,andhowhadwepassedthemorning。Havingtoiledupthesestairsofalmostnationalpolitenesswelanded,triumphantandsmiling,andpausedtorecoverbreath。
\"Andnow,\"saidHerrErchardt,\"Ihaveapleasureinstoreforyou。TheFrauProfessorisgoingtobeoneofusfortheafternoon。Yes,\"noddinggraciouslytotheAdvancedLady。\"Allowmetointroduceyoutoeachother。\"
Webowedveryformally,andlookedeachotheroverwiththateyewhichisknownas\"eagle\"butisfarmorethepropertyofthefemalethanthatmostunoffendingofbirds。\"IthinkyouareEnglish?\"shesaid。Iacknowledgedthefact。\"IamreadingagreatmanyEnglishbooksjustnow——rather,Iamstudyingthem。\"
\"Nu,\"criedHerrErchardt。\"Fancythat!Whatabondalready!IhavemadeupmymindtoknowShakespeareinhismothertonguebeforeIdie,butthatyou,FrauProfessor,shouldbealreadyimmersedinthosewellsofEnglishthought!\"
\"FromwhatIhaveread,\"shesaid,\"Idonotthinktheyareverydeepwells。\"
Henoddedsympathetically。
\"No,\"heanswered,\"soIhaveheard……ButdonotletusembitterourexcursionforourlittleEnglishfriend。Wewillspeakofthisanothertime。\"
\"Nu,areweready?\"criedFritz,whostood,supportingElsa’selbowinhishand,atthefootofthesteps。ItwasimmediatelydiscoveredthatKarlwaslost。
\"Ka——rl,Karl——chen!\"wecried。Noresponse。
\"Buthewashereonemomentago,\"saidHerrLangen,atired,paleyouth,whowasrecoveringfromanervousbreakdownduetomuchphilosophyandlittlenourishment。\"Hewassittinghere,pickingouttheworksofhiswatchwithahairpin!\"
FrauKellermannroundedonhim。\"Doyoumeantosay,mydearHerrLangen,youdidnotstopthechild!\"
\"No,\"saidHerrLangen;\"I’vetriedstoppinghimbeforenow。\"
\"Da,thatchildhassuchenergy;neverishisbrainatpeace。Ifheisnotdoingonething,heisdoinganother!\"
\"Perhapshehasstartedonthedining—roomclocknow,\"suggestedHerrLangen,abominablyhopeful。
TheAdvancedLadysuggestedthatweshouldgowithouthim。\"Inevertakemylittledaughterforwalks,\"shesaid。\"IhaveaccustomedhertosittingquietlyinmybedroomfromthetimeIgooutuntilIreturn!\"
\"Thereheis——thereheis,\"pipedElsa,andKarlwasobservedslitheringdownachestnut—tree,verymuchtheworsefortwigs。
\"I’vebeenlisteningtowhatyousaidaboutme,mumma,\"heconfessedwhileFrauKellermannbrushedhimdown。\"Itwasnottrueaboutthewatch。Iwasonlylookingatit,andthelittlegirlneverstaysinthebedroom。Shetoldmeherselfshealwaysgoesdowntothekitchen,and——\"
\"Da,that’senough!\"saidFrauKellermann。
Wemarchedenmassealongthestationroad。Itwasaverywarmafternoon,andcontinuouspartiesof\"cureguests\",whoweregivingtheirdigestionsaquietairinginpensiongardens,calledafterus,askedifweweregoingforawalk,andcried\"HerrGott——happyjourney\"withimmenseill—concealedrelishwhenwementionedSchlingen。
\"Butthatiseightkilometres,\"shoutedoneoldmanwithawhitebeard,wholeanedagainstafence,fanninghimselfwithayellowhandkerchief。
\"Sevenandahalf,\"answeredHerrErchardtshortly。
\"Eight,\"bellowedthesage。
\"Sevenandahalf!\"
\"Eight!\"
\"Themanismad,\"saidHerrErchardt。
\"Well,pleaselethimbemadinpeace,\"saidI,puttingmyhandsovermyears。
\"Suchignorancemustnotbeallowedtogouncontradicted,\"saidhe,andturninghisbackonus,tooexhaustedtocryoutanylonger,heheldupsevenandahalffingers。
\"Eight!\"thunderedthegreybeard,withpristinefreshness。
Wefeltverysobered,anddidnotrecoveruntilwereachedawhitesignpostwhichentreatedustoleavetheroadandwalkthroughthefieldpath——
withouttramplingdownmoreofthegrassthanwasnecessary。Beinginterpreted,itmeant\"singlefile\",whichwasdistressingforElsaandFritz。Karl,likeahappychild,gambolledahead,andcutdownasmanyflowersaspossiblewiththestickofhismother’sparasol——followedthethreeothers——thenmyself——andtheloversintherear。AndabovetheconversationoftheadvancepartyIhadtheprivilegeofhearingthesedeliciouswhispers。
Fritz:\"Doyouloveme?\"Elsa:\"Nu——yes。\"Fritzpassionately:\"Buthowmuch?\"TowhichElsaneverreplied——exceptwith\"HowmuchdoYOUloveME?\"
FritzescapedthattrulyChristiantrapbysaying,\"Iaskedyoufirst。\"
ItgrewsoconfusingthatIslippedinfrontofFrauKellermann——andwalkedinthepeacefulknowledgethatshewasblossomingandIwasundernoobligationtoinformevenmynearestanddearestastotheprecisecapacityofmyaffections。\"Whatrighthavetheytoaskeachothersuchquestionsthedayafterlettersofblessinghavebeenreceived?\"Ireflected。\"Whatrighthavetheyeventoquestioneachother?Lovewhichbecomesengagedandmarriedisapurelyaffirmativeaffair——theyareusurpingtheprivilegesoftheirbettersandwisers!\"
Theedgesofthefieldfrilledoverintoanimmensepineforest——verypleasantandcoolitlooked。AnothersignpostbeggedustokeeptothebroadpathforSchlingenanddepositwastepaperandfruitpeelingsinwirereceptaclesattachedtothebenchesforthepurpose。Wesatdownonthefirstbench,andKarlwithgreatcuriosityexploredthewirereceptacle。
\"Ilovewoods,\"saidtheAdvancedLady,smilingpitifullyintotheair。
\"Inawoodmyhairalreadyseemstostirandremembersomethingofitssavageorigin。\"
\"Butspeakingliterally,\"saidFrauKellermann,afteranappreciativepause,\"thereisreallynothingbetterthantheairofpine—treesforthescalp。\"
\"Oh,FrauKellermann,pleasedon’tbreakthespell,\"saidElsa。
TheAdvancedLadylookedatherverysympathetically。\"Haveyou,too,foundthemagicheartofNature?\"shesaid。
ThatwasHerrLangen’scue。\"Naturehasnoheart,\"saidhe,verybitterlyandreadily,aspeopledowhoareover—philosophisedandunderfed。\"Shecreatesthatshemaydestroy。Sheeatsthatshemayspewupandshespewsupthatshemayeat。Thatiswhywe,whoareforcedtoekeoutanexistenceathertramplingfeet,considertheworldmad,andrealisethedeadlyvulgarityofproduction。\"
\"Youngman,\"interruptedHerrErchardt,\"youhaveneverlivedandyouhaveneversuffered!\"
\"Oh,excuseme——howcanyouknow?\"
\"Iknowbecauseyouhavetoldme,andthere’sanendofit。Comebacktothisbenchintenyears’timeandrepeatthosewordstome,\"saidFrauKellermann,withaneyeuponFritz,whowasengagedincountingElsa’sfingerswithpassionatefervour——\"andbringwithyouyouryoungwife,HerrLangen,andwatch,perhaps,yourlittlechildplayingwith——\"SheturnedtowardsKarl,whohadrootedanoldillustratedpaperoutofthereceptacleandwasspellingoveranadvertisementfortheenlargementofBeautifulBreasts。
Thesentenceremainedunfinished。Wedecidedtomoveon。Asweplungedmoredeeplyintothewoodourspiritsrose——reachingapointwheretheyburstintosong——onthepartofthethreemen——\"OWelt,wiebistduwunderbar!\"——thelowerpartofwhichwaspiercinglysustainedbyHerrLangen,whoattemptedquiteunsuccessfullytoinfusesatireintoitinaccordancewithhis——\"worldoutlook\"。Theystrodeaheadandleftustotrailafterthem——hotandhappy。
\"Nowistheopportunity,\"saidFrauKellermann。\"DearFrauProfessor,dotellusalittleaboutyourbook。\"
\"Ach,howdidyouknowIwaswritingone?\"shecriedplayfully。
\"Elsa,here,haditfromLisa。AndneverbeforehaveIpersonallyknownawomanwhowaswritingabook。Howdoyoumanagetofindenoughtowritedown?\"
\"Thatisneverthetrouble,\"saidtheAdvancedLady——shetookElsa’sarmandleanedonitgently。\"Thetroubleistoknowwheretostop。Mybrainhasbeenahiveforyears,andaboutthreemonthsagothepent—upwatersburstovermysoul,andsincethenIamwritingalldayuntillateintothenight,stilleverfindingfreshinspirationsandthoughtswhichbeatimpatientwingsaboutmyheart。\"
\"Isitanovel?\"askedElsashyly。
\"Ofcourseitisanovel,\"saidI。
\"Howcanyoubesopositive?\"saidFrauKellermann,eyeingmeseverely。
\"Becausenothingbutanovelcouldproduceaneffectlikethat。\"
\"Ach,don’tquarrel,\"saidtheAdvancedLadysweetly。\"Yes,itisanovel——upontheModernWoman。Forthisseemstomethewoman’shour。Itismysteriousandalmostprophetic,itisthesymbolofthetrueadvancedwoman:notoneofthoseviolentcreatureswhodenytheirsexandsmothertheirfrailwingsunder……under——\"
\"TheEnglishtailor—made?\"fromFrauKellermann。
\"Iwasnotgoingtoputitlikethat。Rather,underthelyinggarboffalsemasculinity!\"
\"Suchasubtledistinction!\"Imurmured。
\"Whomthen,\"askedFrauleinElsa,lookingadoringlyattheAdvancedLady——
\"whomthendoyouconsiderthetruewoman?\"
\"SheistheincarnationofcomprehendingLove!\"
\"ButmydearFrauProfessor,\"protestedFrauKellermann,\"youmustrememberthatonehassofewopportunitiesforexhibitingLovewithinthefamilycirclenowadays。One’shusbandisatbusinessallday,andnaturallydesirestosleepwhenhereturnshome——one’schildrenareoutofthelapandinattheuniversitybeforeonecanlavishanythingatalluponthem!\"
\"ButLoveisnotaquestionoflavishing,\"saidtheAdvancedLady。\"Itisthelampcarriedinthebosomtouchingwithsereneraysalltheheightsanddepthsof——\"
\"DarkestAfrica,\"Imurmuredflippantly。
Shedidnothear。
\"Themistakewehavemadeinthepast——asasex,\"saidshe,\"isinnotrealisingthatourgiftsofgivingareforthewholeworld——wearethegladsacrificeofourselves!\"
\"Oh!\"criedElsarapturously,andalmostburstingintogiftsasshebreathed——\"howIknowthat!YouknoweversinceFritzandIhavebeenengaged,Isharethedesiretogivetoeverybody,toshareeverything!\"
\"Howextremelydangerous,\"saidI。
\"Itisonlythebeautyofdanger,orthedangerofbeauty\"saidtheAdvancedLady——\"andthereyouhavetheidealofmybook——thatwomanisnothingbutagift。\"
Ismiledatherverysweetly。\"Doyouknow,\"Isaid,\"I,too,wouldliketowriteabook,ontheadvisabilityofcaringfordaughters,andtakingthemforairingsandkeepingthemoutofkitchens!\"
Ithinkthemasculineelementmusthavefelttheseangryvibrations:theyceasedfromsinging,andtogetherweclimbedoutofthewood,toseeSchlingenbelowus,tuckedinacircleofhills,thewhitehousesshininginthesunlight,\"foralltheworldlikeeggsinabird’snest\",asHerrErchardtdeclared。WedescendeduponSchlingenanddemandedsourmilkwithfreshcreamandbreadattheInnoftheGoldenStag,amostfriendlyplace,withtablesinarose—gardenwherehensandchickensranriot——evenfloppinguponthedisusedtablesandpeckingattheredchecksonthecloths。Webrokethebreadintothebowls,addedthecream,andstirreditroundwithflatwoodenspoons,thelandlordandhiswifestandingby。
\"Splendidweather!\"saidHerrErchardt,wavinghisspoonatthelandlord,whoshruggedhisshoulders。
\"What!youdon’tcallitsplendid!\"
\"Asyouplease,\"saidthelandlord,obviouslyscorningus。
\"Suchabeautifulwalk,\"saidFrauleinElsa,makingafreegiftofhermostcharmingsmiletothelandlady。
\"Ineverwalk,\"saidthelandlady;\"whenIgotoMindelbaumymandrivesme——I’vemoreimportantthingstodowithmylegsthanwalkthemthroughthedust!\"
\"Ilikethesepeople,\"confessedHerrLangentome。\"Ilikethemvery,verymuch。IthinkIshalltakearoomhereforthewholesummer。\"
\"Why?\"
\"Oh,becausetheyliveclosetotheearth,andthereforedespiseit。\"
Hepushedawayhisbowlofsourmilkandlitacigarette。Weate,solidlyandseriously,untilthosesevenandahalfkilometrestoMindelbaustretchedbeforeuslikeaneternity。EvenKarl’sactivitybecamesofullfedthathelayonthegroundandremovedhisleatherwaistbelt。ElsasuddenlyleanedovertoFritzandwhispered,whoonhearinghertotheendandaskingherifshelovedhim,gotupandmadealittlespeech。
\"We——wewishtocelebrateourbetrothalby——by——askingyoualltodrivebackwithusinthelandlord’scart——if——itwillholdus!\"
\"Oh,whatabeautiful,nobleidea!\"saidFrauKellermann,heavingasighofreliefthataudiblybursttwohooks。
\"Itismylittlegift,\"saidElsatotheAdvancedLady,whobyvirtueofthreeportionsalmostwepttearsofgratitude。
Squeezedintothepeasantcartanddrivenbythelandlord,whoshowedhiscontemptformotherearthbyspittingsavagelyeverynowandagain,wejoltedhomeagain,andthenearerwecametoMindelbauthemoreweloveditandoneanother。
\"Wemusthavemanyexcursionslikethis,\"saidHerrErchardttome,\"foronesurelygetstoknowapersoninthesimplesurroundingsoftheopenair——oneSHARESthesamejoys——onefeelsfriendship。WhatisityourShakespearesays?Onemoment,Ihaveit。Thefriendsthouhast,andtheiradoptiontried——grapplethemtothysoulwithhoopsofsteel!\"
\"But,\"saidI,feelingveryfriendlytowardshim,\"thebotheraboutmysoulisthatitrefusestograppleanybodyatall——andIamsurethatthedeadweightofafriendwhoseadoptionithadtriedwouldkillitimmediately。
Neveryethasitshowntheslightestsignofahoop!\"
Hebumpedagainstmykneesandexcusedhimselfandthecart。
\"Mydearlittlelady,youmustnottakethequotationliterally。
Naturally,oneisnotphysicallyconsciousofthehoops;buthoopsthereareinthesoulofhimorherwholoveshisfellow—men……Takethisafternoon,forinstance。Howdidwestartout?Asstrangersyoumightalmostsay,andyet——allofus——howhavewecomehome?\"
\"Inacart,\"saidtheonlyremainingjoy,whosatuponhismother’slapandfeltsick。
Weskirtedthefieldthatwehadpassedthrough,goingroundbythecemetery。HerrLangenleanedovertheedgeoftheseatandgreetedthegraves。HewassittingnexttotheAdvancedLady——insidetheshelterofhershoulder。Iheardhermurmur:\"Youlooklikealittleboywithyourhairblowingaboutinthewind。\"HerrLangen,slightlylessbitter——
watchedthelastgravesdisappear。AndIheardhermurmur:\"Whyareyousosad?Itooamverysadsometimes——but——youlookyoungenoughformetodaretosaythis——I——too——knowofmuchjoy!\"
\"Whatdoyouknow?\"saidhe。
IleanedoverandtouchedtheAdvancedLady’shand。\"Hasn’titbeenaniceafternoon?\"Isaidquestioningly。\"Butyouknow,thattheoryofyoursaboutwomenandLove——it’sasoldasthehills——oh,older!\"
Fromtheroadasuddenshoutoftriumph。Yes,therehewasagain——whitebeard,silkhandkerchiefandundauntedenthusiasm。
\"WhatdidIsay?Eightkilometres——itis!\"
\"Sevenandahalf!\"shriekedHerrErchardt。
\"Why,then,doyoureturnincarts?Eightkilometresitmustbe。\"
HerrErchardtmadeacupofhishandsandstoodupinthejoltingcartwhileFrauKellermannclungtohisknees。\"Sevenandahalf!\"
\"Ignorancemustnotgouncontradicted!\"IsaidtotheAdvancedLady。
12。THESWINGOFTHEPENDULUM。
Thelandladyknockedatthedoor。
\"Comein,\"saidViola。
\"Thereisaletterforyou,\"saidthelandlady,\"aspecialletter\"——sheheldthegreenenvelopeinacornerofherdingyapron。
\"Thanks。\"Viola,kneelingonthefloor,pokingatthelittledustystove,stretchedoutherhand。\"Anyanswer?\"
\"No;themessengerhasgone。\"
\"Oh,allright!\"Shedidnotlookthelandladyintheface;shewasashamedofnothavingpaidherrent,andwonderedgrimly,withoutanyhope,ifthewomanwouldbegintoblusteragain。
\"Aboutthismoneyowingtome——\"saidthelandlady。
\"Oh,theLord——offshegoes!\"thoughtViola,turningherbackonthewomanandmakingagrimaceatthestove。
\"It’ssettle——orit’sgo!\"Thelandladyraisedhervoice;shebegantobawl。\"I’malandlady,Iam,andarespectablewoman,I’llhaveyouknow。
I’llhavenoliceinmyhouse,sneakingtheirwayintothefurnitureandeatingupeverything。It’scash——oroutyougobeforetwelveo’clockto—
morrow。\"
Violafeltratherthansawthewoman’sgesture。Sheshotoutherarminastupidhelplessway,asthoughadirtypigeonhadsuddenlyflownatherface。\"Filthyoldbeast!Ugh!Andthesmellofher——likestalecheeseanddampwashing。\"
\"Verywell!\"sheansweredshortly;\"it’scashdownorIleaveto—morrow。
Allright:don’tshout。\"
Itwasextraordinary——alwaysbeforethiswomancamenearhershetrembledinhershoes——eventhesoundofthoseflatfeetstumpingupthestairsmadeherfeelsick,butoncetheywerefacetofaceshefeltimmenselycalmandindifferent,andcouldnotunderstandwhysheevenworriedaboutmoney,norwhyshesneakedoutofthehouseontiptoe,notevendaringtoshutthedoorafterherincasethelandladyshouldhearandshoutsomethingterrible,norwhyshespentnightspacingupanddownherroom——drawingupsharplybeforethemirrorandsayingtoatragicreflection:\"Money,money,money!\"Whenshewasaloneherpovertywaslikeahugedream—mountainonwhichherfeetwerefastrooted——achingwiththeacheofthesizeofthething——butifitcametodefiniteaction,withnotimeforimaginings,herdream—mountaindwindledintoabeastly\"hold—your—nose\"
affair,tobepassedasquicklyaspossible,withangerandastrongsenseofsuperiority。
Thelandladybouncedoutoftheroom,bangingthedoor,sothatitshookandrattledasthoughithadlistenedtotheconversationandfullysympathisedwiththeoldhag。
Squattingonherheels,Violaopenedtheletter。ItwasfromCasimir:
\"Ishallbewithyouatthreeo’clockthisafternoon——andmustbeoffagainthisevening。Allnewswhenwemeet。IhopeyouarehappierthanI。——
CASIMIR。\"
\"Huh!howkind!\"shesneered;\"howcondescending。Toogoodofyou,really!\"Shesprangtoherfeet,crumblingtheletterinherhands。\"AndhowareyoutoknowthatIshallstickhereawaitingyourpleasureuntilthreeo’clockthisafternoon?\"Butsheknewshewould;herragewasonlyhalfsincere。ShelongedtoseeCasimir,forshewasconfidentthatthistimeshewouldmakehimunderstandthesituation……\"For,asitis,it’sintolerable——intolerable!\"shemuttered。
Itwasteno’clockinthemorningofagreydaycuriouslylightedbypaleflashesofsunshine。Searchedbytheseflashesherroomlookedtumbledandgrimed。Shepulleddownthewindow—blinds——buttheygaveapersistent,whitishglarewhichwasjustasbad。Theonlythingoflifeintheroomwasajarofhyacinthsgivenherbythelandlady’sdaughter:itstoodonthetableexudingasicklyperfumefromitsplumppetals;therewereevenrichbudsunfolding,andtheleavesshonelikeoil。
Violawentovertothewashstand,pouredsomewaterintotheenamelbasin,andspongedherfaceandneck。Shedippedherfaceintothewater,openedhereyes,andshookherheadfromsidetoside——itwasexhilarating。Shediditthreetimes。\"IsupposeIcoulddrownmyselfifIstayedunderlongenough,\"shethought。\"Iwonderhowlongittakestobecomeunconscious?……Oftenreadofwomendrowninginabucket。Iwonderifanyairentersbytheears——ifthebasinwouldhavetobeasdeepasabucket?\"
Sheexperimented——grippedthewashstandwithbothhandsandslowlysankherheadintothewater,whenagaintherewasaknockonthedoor。Notthelandladythistime——itmustbeCasimir。Withherfaceandhairdripping,withherpetticoatbodiceunbuttoned,sheranandopenedit。
Astrangemanstoodagainstthelintel——seeingher,heopenedhiseyesverywideandsmileddelightfully。\"Excuseme——doesFrauleinSchaferlivehere?\"
\"No;neverheardofher。\"Hissmilewassoinfectious,shewantedtosmiletoo——andthewaterhadmadeherfeelsofreshandrosy。
Thestrangemanappearedoverwhelmedwithastonishment。\"Shedoesn’t?\"hecried。\"Sheisout,youmean!\"
\"No,she’snotlivinghere,\"answeredViola。
\"But——pardon——onemoment。\"Hemovedfromthedoorlintel,standingsquarelyinfrontofher。Heunbuttonedhisgreatcoatanddrewaslipofpaperfromthebreastpocket,smoothingitinhisglovedfingersbeforehandingittoher。
\"Yes,that’stheaddress,rightenough,buttheremustbeamistakeinthenumber。Somanylodging—housesinthisstreet,youknow,andsobig。\"
Dropsofwaterfellfromherhairontothepaper。Sheburstoutlaughing。
\"Oh,HOWdreadfulImustlook——onemoment!\"Sheranbacktothewashstandandcaughtupatowel。Thedoorwasstillopen……Afterall,therewasnothingmoretobesaid。Whyonearthhadsheaskedhimtowaitamoment?
Shefoldedthetowelroundhershoulders,andreturnedtothedoor,suddenlygrave。\"I’msorry;Iknownosuchname\"inasharpvoice。
Saidthestrangeman:\"Sorry,too。Haveyoubeenlivingherelong?\"
\"Er——yes——alongtime。\"Shebegantoclosethedoorslowly。
\"Well——good—morning,thankssomuch。HopeIhaven’tbeenabother。\"
\"Good—morning。\"
Sheheardhimwalkdownthepassageandthenpause——lightingacigarette。
Yes——afaintscentofdeliciouscigarettesmokepenetratedherroom。Shesniffedatit,smilingagain。Well,thathadbeenafascinatinginterlude!
Helookedsoamazinglyhappy:hisheavyclothesandbigbuttonedgloves;
hisbeautifullybrushedhair……andthatsmile……\"Jolly\"wastheword——justawell—fedboywiththeworldforhisplayground。Peoplelikethatdidonegood——onefelt\"madeover\"atthesightofthem。SANEtheywere——sosaneandsolid。Youcoulddependonthemneverhavingonemadimpulsefromthedaytheywerebornuntilthedaytheydied。AndLifewasinleaguewiththem——jumpedthemonherknee——quiterightly,too。AtthatmomentshenoticedCasimir’sletter,crumpleduponthefloor——thesmilefaded。
Staringatthelettershebeganbraidingherhair——adullfeelingofragecreptthroughher——sheseemedtobebraidingitintoherbrain,andbindingit,tightly,aboveherhead……Ofcoursethathadbeenthemistakeallalong。Whathad?Oh,Casimir’sfrightfulseriousness。Ifshehadbeenhappywhentheyfirstmetsheneverwouldhavelookedathim——buttheyhadbeenliketwopatientsinthesamehospitalward——eachfindingcomfortinthesicknessoftheother——sweetfoundationforaloveepisode!Misfortunehadknockedtheirheadstogether:theyhadlookedateachother,stunnedwiththeconflictandsympathised……\"IwishIcouldstepoutsidethewholeaffairandjustjudgeit——thenI’dfindawayout。IcertainlywasinlovewithCasimir……Oh,besincereforonce。\"Shefloppeddownonthebedandhidherfaceinthepillow。\"Iwasnotinlove。Iwantedsomebodytolookafterme——andkeepmeuntilmyworkbegantosell——andhekeptbotherswithothermenaway。Andwhatwouldhavehappenedifhehadn’tcomealong?I
wouldhavespentmywretchedlittlepittance,andthen——Yes,thatwaswhatdecidedme,thinkingaboutthat’then。’Hewastheonlysolution。AndI
believedinhimthen。Ithoughthisworkhadonlytoberecognisedonce,andhe’drollinwealth。Ithoughtperhapswemightbepoorforamonth——
buthesaid,ifonlyhecouldhaveme,thestimulus……Funny,ifitwasn’tsodamnedtragic!Exactlythecontraryhashappened——hehasn’thadathingpublishedformonths——neitherhaveI——butthenIdidn’texpectto。Yes,thetruthis,I’mhardandbitter,andIhaveneitherfaithnorloveforunsuccessfulmen。IalwaysendbydespisingthemasIdespiseCasimir。I
supposeit’sthesavageprideofthefemalewholikestothinkthemantowhomshehasgivenherselfmustbeaverygreatchiefindeed。ButtostewinthisdisgustinghousewhileCasimirscoursthelandinthehopeoffindingoneeditorialopendoor——it’shumiliating。It’schangedmywholenature。Iwasn’tbornforpoverty——Ionlyfloweramongreallyjollypeople,andpeoplewhoneverareworried。\"
Thefigureofthestrangemanrosebeforeher——wouldnotbedismissed。
\"Thatwasthemanforme,afterallissaidanddone——amanwithoutacare——who’dgivemeeverythingIwantandwithwhomI’dalwaysfeelthatsenseoflifeandofbeingintouchwiththeworld。Ineverwantedtofight——itwasthrustonme。Really,there’safountofhappinessinme,thatisdryingup,littlebylittle,inthishatefulexistence。I’llbedeadifthisgoeson——and\"——shestirredinthebedandflungoutherarms——\"Iwantpassion,andlove,andadventure——Iyearnforthem。WhyshouldIstayhereandrot?——Iamrotting!\"shecried,comfortingherselfwiththesoundofherbreakingvoice。\"ButifItellCasimirallthiswhenhecomesthisafternoon,andhesays,’Go’——ashecertainlywill——that’sanotherthingI
loatheabouthim——he’sundermythumb——whatshouldIdothen——whereshouldIgoto?\"Therewasnowhere。\"Idon’twanttowork——orcarveoutmyownpath。Iwanteaseandanyamountofnursinginthelapofluxury。ThereisonlyonethingI’mfittedfor,andthatistobeagreatcourtesan。\"
Butshedidnotknowhowtogoaboutit。Shewasfrightenedtogointothestreets——sheheardofsuchawfulthingshappeningtothosewomen——menwithdiseases——ormenwhodidn’tpay——besides,theideaofastrangemaneverynight——no,thatwasoutofthequestion。\"IfI’dtheclothesIwouldgotoareallygoodhotelandfindsomewealthyman……likethestrangemanthismorning。Hewouldbeideal。Oh,ifIonlyhadhisaddress——IamsureI
wouldfascinatehim。I’dkeephimlaughingallday——I’dmakehimgivemeunlimitedmoney……\"Atthethoughtshegrewwarmandsoft。Shebegantodreamofawonderfulhouse,andofpressesfullofclothesandofperfumes。
Shesawherselfsteppingintocarriages——lookingatthestrangemanwithamysterious,voluptuousglance——shepractisedtheglance,lyingonthebed——
andneveranotherworry,justdruggedwithhappiness。Thatwasthelifeforher。Well,thethingtodowastoletCasimirgoonhiswild—goosechasethatevening,andwhilehewasaway——What!Also——pleasetoremember——therewastherenttobepaidbeforetwelvenextmorning,andshehadn’tthemoneyforasquaremeal。Atthethoughtoffoodshefeltasharptwingeinherstomach,asensationasthoughtherewereahandinherstomach,squeezingitdry。Shewasterriblyhungry——allCasimir’sfault——
andthatmanhadlivedonthefatofthelandeversincehewasborn。Helookedasthoughhecouldorderamagnificentdinner。Oh,whyhadn’tsheplayedhercardsbetter?——he’dbeensentbyProvidence——andshe’dsnubbedhim。\"IfIhadthattimeoveragain,I’dbesafebynow。\"Andinsteadoftheordinarymanwhohadspokenwithheratthedoorhermindcreatedabrilliant,laughingimage,whowouldtreatherlikeaqueen……\"There’sonlyonethingIcouldnotstand——thatheshouldbecoarseorvulgar。Well,hewasn’t——hewasobviouslyamanoftheworld,andthewayheapologised……I
haveenoughfaithinmyownpowerandbeautytoknowIcouldmakeamantreatmejustasIwantedtobetreated。\"……Itfloatedintoherdreams——
thatsweetscentofcigarettesmoke。Andthensherememberedthatshehadheardnobodygodownthestonestairs。Wasitpossiblethatthestrangemanwasstillthere?……Thethoughtwastooabsurd——Lifedidn’tplaytrickslikethat——andyet——shewasquiteconsciousofhisnearness。Veryquietlyshegotup,unhookedfromthebackofthedooralongwhitegown,buttonediton——smilingslyly。Shedidnotknowwhatwasgoingtohappen。Sheonlythought:\"Oh,whatfun!\"andthattheywereplayingadeliciousgame——thisstrangemanandshe。Verygentlysheturnedthedoor—handle,screwingupherfaceandbitingherlipasthelocksnappedback。Ofcourse,therehewas——leaningagainstthebanisterrail。Hewheeledroundassheslippedintothepassage。
\"Da,\"shemuttered,foldinghergowntightlyaroundher,\"Imustgodownstairsandfetchsomewood。Brr!thecold!\"
\"Thereisn’tanywood,\"volunteeredthestrangeman。Shegavealittlecryofastonishment,andthentossedherhead。
\"Youagain,\"shesaidscornfully,consciousthewhileofhismerryeye,andthefresh,strongsmellofhishealthybody。
\"Thelandladyshoutedouttherewasnowoodleft。Ijustsawhergoouttobuysome。\"
\"Story——story!\"shelongedtocry。Hecamequiteclosetoher,stoodoverherandwhispered:
\"Aren’tyougoingtoaskmetofinishmycigaretteinyourroom?\"
Shenodded。\"Youmayifyouwantto!\"
Inthatmomenttogetherinthepassageamiraclehadhappened。Herroomwasquitechanged——itwasfullofsweetlightandthescentofhyacinthflowers。Eventhefurnitureappeareddifferent——exciting。Quickasaflashsherememberedchildishpartieswhentheyhadplayedcharades,andonesidehadlefttheroomandcomeinagaintoactaword——justwhatshewasdoingnow。Thestrangemanwentovertothestoveandsatdowninherarm—chair。Shedidnotwanthimtotalkorcomenearher——itwasenoughtoseehimintheroom,sosecureandhappy。Howhungryshehadbeenforthenearnessofsomeonelikethat——whoknewnothingatallabouther——andmadenodemands——butjustlived。Violaranovertothetableandputherarmsroundthejarofhyacinths。
\"Beautiful!Beautiful!\"shecried——buryingherheadintheflowers——andsniffinggreedilyatthescent。Overtheleavesshelookedatthemanandlaughed。
\"Youareafunnylittlething,\"saidhelazily。
\"Why?BecauseIloveflowers?\"
\"I’dfarratheryoulovedotherthings,\"saidthestrangemanslowly。Shebrokeoffalittlepinkpetalandsmiledatit。
\"Letmesendyousomeflowers,\"saidthestrangeman。\"I’llsendyouaroomfulifyou’dlikethem。\"
Hisvoicefrightenedherslightly。\"Ohno,thanks——thisoneisquiteenoughforme。\"
\"No,itisn’t\"——inateasingvoice。
\"Whatastupidremark!\"thoughtViola,andlookingathimagainhedidnotseemquitesojolly。Shenoticedthathiseyesweresettoocloselytogether——andtheyweretoosmall。Horriblethought,thatheshouldprovestupid。
\"Whatdoyoudoallday?\"sheaskedhastily。
\"Nothing。\"
\"Nothingatall?\"
\"WhyshouldIdoanything?\"
\"Oh,don’timagineforonemomentthatIcondemnsuchwisdom——onlyitsoundstoogoodtobetrue!\"
\"What’sthat?\"——hecranedforward。\"Whatsoundstoogoodtobetrue?\"
Yes——therewasnodenyingit——helookedsilly。
\"IsupposethesearchingafterFrauleinSchaferdoesn’toccupyallyourdays。\"
\"Ohno\"——hesmiledbroadly——\"that’sverygood!ByJove!no。Idriveagoodbit——areyoukeenonhorses?\"
Shenodded。\"Lovethem。\"
\"Youmustcomedrivingwithme——I’vegotafinepairofgreys。Willyou?\"
\"PrettyI’dlookperchedbehindgreysinmyoneandonlyhat,\"thoughtshe。
Aloud:\"I’dloveto。\"Hereasyacceptancepleasedhim。
\"Howaboutto—morrow?\"hesuggested。\"Supposeyouhavelunchwithmeto—
morrowandItakeyoudriving。\"
Afterall——thiswasjustagame。\"Yes,I’mnotbusyto—morrow,\"shesaid。
Alittlepause——thenthestrangemanpattedhisleg。\"Whydon’tyoucomeandsitdown?\"hesaid。
Shepretendednottoseeandswungontothetable。\"Oh,I’mallrighthere。\"
\"No,you’renot\"——againtheteasingvoice。\"Comeandsitonmyknee。\"
\"Ohno,\"saidViolaveryheartily,suddenlybusywithherhair。
\"Whynot?\"
\"Idon’twantto。\"
\"Oh,comealong\"——impatiently。
Sheshookherheadfromsidetoside。\"Iwouldn’tdreamofsuchathing。\"
Atthathegotupandcameovertoher。\"Funnylittlepusscat!\"Heputuponehandtotouchherhair。
\"Don’t,\"shesaid——andslippedoffthetable。\"I——Ithinkit’stimeyouwentnow。\"Shewasquitefrightenednow——thinkingonly:\"Thismanmustbegotridofasquicklyaspossible。\"
\"Oh,butyoudon’twantmetogo?\"
\"Yes,Ido——I’mverybusy。\"
\"Busy。Whatdoesthepussycatdoallday?\"
\"Lotsandlotsofthings!\"Shewantedtopushhimoutoftheroomandslamthedooronhim——idiot——fool——crueldisappointment。
\"What’sshefrowningfor?\"heasked。\"Issheworriedaboutanything?\"
Suddenlyserious:\"Isay——youknow,areyouinanyfinancialdifficulty?
Doyouwantmoney?I’llgiveittoyouifyoulike!\"
\"Money!Steadyonthebrake——don’tloseyourhead!\"——soshespoketoherself。
\"I’llgiveyoutwohundredmarksifyou’llkissme。\"
\"Oh,boo!Whatacondition!AndIdon’twanttokissyou——Idon’tlikekissing。Pleasego!\"
\"Yes——youdo!——yes,youdo。\"Hecaughtholdofherarmsabovetheelbows。
Shestruggled,andwasquiteamazedtorealisehowangryshefelt。
\"Letmego——immediately!\"shecried——andheslippedonearmroundherbody,anddrewhertowardshim——likeabarofironacrossherback——thatarm。
\"Leavemealone!Itellyou。Don’tbemean!Ididn’twantthistohappenwhenyoucameintomyroom。Howdareyou?\"
\"Well,kissmeandI’llgo!\"
Itwastooidiotic——dodgingthatstupid,smilingface。
\"Iwon’tkissyou!——youbrute!——Iwon’t!\"Somehowsheslippedoutofhisarmsandrantothewall——stoodbackagainstit——breathingquickly。
\"Getout!\"shestammered。\"Goonnow,clearout!\"
Atthatmoment,whenhewasnottouchingher,shequiteenjoyedherself。
Shethrilledatherownangryvoice。\"TothinkIshouldtalktoamanlikethat!\"Anangryflushspreadoverhisface——hislipscurledback,showinghisteeth——justlikeadog,thoughtViola。Hemadearushather,andheldheragainstthewall——presseduponherwithalltheweightofhisbody。
Thistimeshecouldnotgetfree。
\"Iwon’tkissyou。Iwon’t。StopdoingthatUgh!you’relikeadog——yououghttofindloversroundlamp—posts——youbeast——youfiend!\"
Hedidnotanswer。Withanexpressionofthemostabsurddeterminationhepressedevermoreheavilyuponher。Hedidnotevenlookather——butrappedoutinasharpvoice:\"Keepquiet——keepquiet。\"
\"Gar——r!Whyaremensostrong?\"Shebegantocry。\"Goaway——Idon’twantyou,youdirtycreature。Iwanttomurderyou。Oh,myGod!ifIhadaknife。\"
\"Don’tbesilly——comeandbegood!\"Hedraggedhertowardsthebed。
\"DoyousupposeI’malightwoman?\"shesnarled,andswoopingovershefastenedherteethinhisglove。
\"Ach!don’tdothat——youarehurtingme!\"
Shedidnotletgo,butherheartsaid,\"ThanktheLordIthoughtofthis。\"
\"Stopthisminute——youvixen——youbitch。\"Hethrewherawayfromhim。Shesawwithjoythathiseyeswerefulloftears。\"You’vereallyhurtme,\"hesaidinachokingvoice。
\"OfcourseIhave。Imeantto。That’snothingtowhatI’lldoifyoutouchmeagain。\"
Thestrangemanpickeduphishat。\"Nothanks,\"hesaidgrimly。\"ButI’llnotforgetthis——I’llgotoyourlandlady。\"
\"Pooh!\"Sheshruggedhershouldersandlaughed。\"I’lltellheryouforcedyourwayinhereandtriedtoassaultme。Whowillshebelieve?——withyourbittenhand。YougoandfindyourSchafers。\"
Asensationofglorious,intoxicatinghappinessfloodedViola。Sherolledhereyesathim。\"Ifyoudon’tgoawaythismomentI’llbiteyouagain,\"
shesaid,andtheabsurdwordsstartedherlaughing。Evenwhenthedoorwasclosed,hearinghimdescendingthestairs,shelaughed,anddancedabouttheroom。
Whatamorning!Oh,chalkitup。Thatwasherfirstfight,andshe’dwon——she’dconqueredthatbeast——allbyherself。Herhandswerestilltrembling。Shepulledupthesleeveofhergown——greatredmarksonherarms。\"Myribswillbeblue。I’llbeblueallover,\"shereflected。\"IfonlythatbelovedCasimircouldhaveseenus。\"AndthefeelingofrageanddisgustagainstCasimirhadtotallydisappeared。Howcouldthepoordarlinghelpnothavinganymoney?Itwasherfaultasmuchashis,andhe,justlikeher,wasapartfromtheworld,fightingit,justasshehaddone。Ifonlythreeo’clockwouldcome。Shesawherselfrunningtowardshimandputtingherarmsroundhisneck。\"Myblessedone!Ofcourseweareboundtowin。Doyoulovemestill?Oh,Ihavebeenhorriblelately。\"
13。ABLAZE。
\"Max,yousillydevil,you’llbreakyourneckifyougocareeringdowntheslidethatway。Dropit,andcometotheClubHousewithmeandgetsomecoffee。\"
\"I’vehadenoughforto—day。I’mdampallthrough。There,giveusacigarette,Victor,oldman。Whenareyougoinghome?\"
\"Notforanotherhour。It’sfinethisafternoon,andI’mgettingintodecentshape。Lookout,getoffthetrack;herecomesFrauleinWinkel。
Damnedelegantthewayshemanageshersleigh!\"
\"I’mcoldallthrough。That’stheworstofthisplace——themists——it’sadampcold。Here,Forman,lookafterthissleigh——andstickitsomewheresothatIcangetitwithoutlookingthroughahundredandfiftyothersto—
morrowmorning。\"
Theysatdownatasmallroundtablenearthestoveandorderedcoffee。
Victorsprawledinhischair,pattinghislittlebrowndogBoboandlooking,halflaughingly,atMax。
\"What’sthematter,mydear?Isn’ttheworldbeingniceandpretty?\"
\"Iwantmycoffee,andIwanttoputmyfeetintomypocket——they’relikestones……Nothingtoeat,thanks——thecakeislikeunderdoneindia—rubberhere。\"
FuchsandWistubacameandsatattheirtable。Maxhalfturnedhisbackandstretchedhisfeetouttotheoven。Thethreeothermenallbegantalkingatonce——oftheweather——oftherecordslide——ofthefineconditionoftheWaldSeeforskating。
SuddenlyFuchslookedatMax,raisedhiseyebrowsandnoddedacrosstoVictor,whoshookhishead。
\"Babydoesn’tfeelwell,\"hesaid,feedingthebrowndogwithbrokenlumpsofsugar,\"andnobody’stodisturbhim——I’mnurse。\"
\"That’sthefirsttimeI’veeverknownhimoffcolour,\"saidWistuba。
\"I’vealwaysimaginedhehadthebetterpartofthisworldthatcouldnotbetakenawayfromhim。IthinkhesayshisprayerstothedearLordforhavingsparedhimbeingtakenhomeinsevenbasketsfulto—night。It’safool’sgametoriskyourallthatwayandleavethenationdesolate。\"
\"Dryup,\"saidMax。\"Yououghttobewheeledaboutonthesnowinaperambulator。\"
\"Oh,nooffence,Ihope。Don’tgetnasty。How’syourwife,Victor?\"
\"She’snotatallwell。ShehurtherheadcomingdowntheslidewithMaxonSunday。Itoldhertostayathomeallday。\"
\"I’msorry。Areyouotherfellowsgoingbacktothetownorstoppingonhere?\"
FuchsandVictorsaidtheywerestopping——Maxdidnotanswer,butsatmotionlesswhilethemenpaidfortheircoffeeandmovedaway。Victorcamebackamomentandputahandonhisshoulder。
\"Ifyou’regoingrightback,mydear,Iwishyou’dlookElsaupandtellherIwon’tbeintilllate。Andfeedwithusto—nightatLimpold,willyou?Andtakesomehotgrogwhenyougetin。\"
\"Thanks,oldfellow,I’mallright。Goingbacknow。\"
Herose,stretchedhimself,buttonedonhisheavycoatandlightedanothercigarette。
FromthedoorVictorwatchedhimplungingthroughtheheavysnow——headbent——handsthrustinhispockets——healmostappearedtoberunningthroughtheheavysnowtowardsthetown……
Someonecamestampingupthestairs——pausedatthedoorofhersitting—
room,andknocked。
\"Isthatyou,Victor?\"shecalled。
\"No,itisI……canIcomein?\"
\"Ofcourse。Why,whataSantaClaus!Hangyourcoatonthelandingandshakeyourselfoverthebanisters。Hadagoodtime?\"
Theroomwasfulloflightandwarmth。Elsa,inawhitevelvettea—gown,laycurleduponthesofa——abookoffashionsonherlap,aboxofcreamsbesideher。
Thecurtainswerenotyetdrawnbeforethewindowsandabluelightshonethrough,andthewhiteboughsofthetreessprayedacross。
Awoman’sroom——fullofflowersandphotographsandsilkpillows——thefloorsmotheredinrugs——animmensetiger—skinunderthepiano——justtheheadprotruding——sleepilysavage。
\"Itwasgoodenough,\"saidMax。\"Victorcan’tbeintilllate。Hetoldmetocomeupandtellyou。\"
Hestartedwalkingupanddown——toreoffhisglovesandflungthemonthetable。
\"Don’tdothat,Max,\"saidElsa,\"yougetonmynerves。AndI’vegotaheadacheto—day;I’mfeverishandquiteflushed……Don’tIlookflushed?\"
Hepausedbythewindowandglancedatheramomentoverhisshoulder。
\"No,\"hesaid;\"Ididn’tnoticeit。\"
\"Oh,youhaven’tlookedatmeproperly,andI’vegotanewtea—gownon,too。\"Shepulledherskirtstogetherandpattedalittleplaceonthecouch。
\"Comealongandsitbymeandtellmewhyyou’rebeingnaughty。\"
But,standingbythewindow,hesuddenlyflunghisarmacrosshiseyes。
\"Oh,\"hesaid,\"Ican’t。I’mdone——I’mspent——I’msmashed。\"
Silenceintheroom。Thefashion—bookfelltothefloorwithaquickrustleofleaves。Elsasatforward,herhandsclaspedinherlap;astrangelightshoneinhereyes,aredcolourstainedhermouth。
Thenshespokeveryquietly。
\"Comeoverhereandexplainyourself。Idon’tknowwhatonearthyouaretalkingabout。\"
\"Youdoknow——youknowfarbetterthanI。You’vesimplyplayedwithVictorinmypresencethatImayfeelworse。You’vetormentedme——you’veledmeon——offeringmeeverythingandnothingatall。It’sbeenaspider—and—flybusinessfromfirsttolast——andI’veneverforonemomentbeenignorantofthat——andI’veneverforonemomentbeenabletowithstandit。\"
Heturnedrounddeliberately。
\"Doyousupposethatwhenyouaskedmetopinyourflowersintoyoureveninggown——whenyouletmecomeintoyourbedroomwhenVictorwasoutwhileyoudidyourhair——whenyoupretendedtobeababyandletmefeedyouwithgrapes——whenyouhaveruntomeandsearchedinallmypocketsforacigarette——knowingperfectlywellwheretheywerekept——goingthrougheverypocketjustthesame——Iknowingtoo——Ikeepingupthefarce——doyousupposethatnowyouhavefinallylightedyourbonfireyouaregoingtofinditapeacefulandpleasantthing——youaregoingtopreventthewholehousefromburning?\"
Shesuddenlyturnedwhiteanddrewinherbreathsharply。
\"Don’ttalktomelikethat。Youhavenorighttotalktomelikethat。I
amanotherman’swife。\"
\"Hum,\"hesneered,throwingbackhishead,\"that’sratherlateinthegame,andthat’sbeenyourtrumpcardallalong。YouonlyloveVictoronthecat—and—creamprinciple——youapoorlittlestarvedkittenthathe’sgiveneverythingto,thathe’scarriedinhisbreast,neverdreamingthatthoselittlepinkclawscouldtearoutaman’sheart。\"
Shestirred,lookingathimwithalmostfearinhereyes。
\"Afterall\"——unsteadily——\"thisismyroom;I’llhavetoaskyoutogo。\"
Buthestumbledtowardsher,kneltdownbythecouch,buryinghisheadinherlap,claspinghisarmsroundherwaist。
\"AndILOVEyou——Iloveyou;thehumiliationofit——Iadoreyou。Don’t——
don’t——justaminuteletmestayhere——justamomentinawholelife——Elsa!
Elsa!\"
Sheleantbackandpressedherheadintothepillows。
Thenhismuffledvoice:\"Ifeellikeasavage。Iwantyourwholebody。I
wanttocarryyouawaytoacaveandloveyouuntilIkillyou——youcan’tunderstandhowamanfeels。IkillmyselfwhenIseeyou——I’msickofmyownstrengththatturnsinuponitself,anddies,andrisesnewbornlikeaPhoenixoutoftheashesofthathorribledeath。Lovemejustthisonce,tellmealie,SAYthatyoudo——youarealwayslying。\"
Instead,shepushedhimaway——frightened。
\"Getup,\"shesaid;\"supposetheservantcameinwiththetea?\"
\"Oh,yegods!\"Hestumbledtohisfeetandstoodstaringdownather。
\"You’rerottentothecoreandsoamI。Butyou’reheathenishlybeautiful。\"
Thewomanwentovertothepiano——stoodthere——strikingonenote——herbrowsdrawntogether。Thensheshruggedhershouldersandsmiled。
\"I’llmakeaconfession。Everywordyouhavesaidistrue。Ican’thelpit。Ican’thelpseekingadmirationanymorethanacatcanhelpgoingtopeopletobestroked。It’smynature。I’mbornoutofmytime。Andyet,youknow,I’mnotaCOMMONwoman。Ilikementoadoreme——toflatterme——
eventomakelovetome——butIwouldnevergivemyselftoanyman。Iwouldneverletamankissme……even。\"
\"It’simmeasurablyworse——you’venolegitimateexcuse。Why,evenaprostitutehasagreatersenseofgenerosity!\"
\"Iknow,\"shesaid,\"Iknowperfectlywell——butIcan’thelpthewayI’mbuilt……Areyougoing?\"
Heputonhisgloves。
\"Well,\"hesaid,\"what’sgoingtohappentousnow?\"
Againsheshruggedhershoulders。
\"Ihaven’ttheslightestidea。Ineverhave——justletthingsoccur。\"……
\"Allalone?\"criedVictor。\"HasMaxbeenhere?\"
\"Heonlystayedamoment,andwouldn’tevenhavetea。Isenthimhometochangehisclothes……Hewasfrightfullyboring。\"
\"Youpoordarling,yourhair’scomingdown。I’llfixit,standstillamoment……soyouwerebored?\"
\"Um——m——frightfully……Oh,you’verunahairpinrightintoyourwife’shead——younaughtyboy!\"
Sheflungherarmsroundhisneckandlookedupathim,halflaughing,likeabeautiful,lovingchild。
\"God!Whatawomanyouare,\"saidtheman。\"Youmakemesoinfernallyproud——dearest,thatI……Itellyou!\"