`Letusgoon，dear，’shewhispered，endeavouringtoshelterhim。
`Wehaven’tanylodgingsyet，remember，andallourthingsareatthestation；
andyouarebynomeanswellyet。Iamafraidthiswetwillhurtyou！’
`Theyarecomingnow。Justamoment，andI’llgo！’saidhe。
Apealofsixbellsstruckout，humanfacesbegantocrowdthewindowsaround，andtheprocessionofheadsofhousesandnewdoctorsemerged，theirredandblackgownedformspassingacrossthefieldofJude’svisionlikeinaccessibleplanetsacrossanobjectglass。
Astheywenttheirnameswerecalledbyknowinginformants，andwhentheyreachedtheoldroundtheatreofWrenacheerrosehigh。
`Let’sgothatway！’criedJude，andthoughitnowrainedsteadilyheseemednottoknowit，andtookthemroundtothetheatre。Heretheystooduponthestrawthatwaslaidtodrownthediscordantnoiseofwheels，wherethequaintandfrost-eatenstonebustsencirclingthebuildinglookedwithpallidgrimnessontheproceedings，andinparticularatthebedraggledJude，Sue，andtheirchildren，asatludicrouspersonswhohadnobusinessthere。
`IwishIcouldgetin！’hesaidtoherfervidly。`Listen-I
maycatchafewwordsoftheLatinspeechbystayinghere；thewindowsareopen。’
However，beyondthepealsoftheorgan，andtheshoutsandhurrahsbetweeneachpieceoforatory，Jude’sstandinginthewetdidnotbringmuchLatintohisintelligencemorethan，nowandthen，asonorouswordinumoribus。
`Well-I’manoutsidertotheendofmydays！’hesighedafterawhile。`NowI’llgo，mypatientSue。Howgoodofyoutowaitintherainallthistime-togratifymyinfatuation！I’llnevercareanymoreabouttheinfernalcursedplace，uponmysoulIwon’t！Butwhatmadeyoutremblesowhenwewereatthebarrier？Andhowpaleyouare，Sue！’
`IsawRichardamongstthepeopleontheotherside。’
`Ah-didyou！’
`HeisevidentlycomeuptoJerusalemtoseethefestivalliketherestofus：andonthataccountisprobablylivingnotsoveryfaraway。Hehadthesamehankeringfortheuniversitythatyouhad，inamilderform。Idon’tthinkhesawme，thoughhemusthaveheardyouspeakingtothecrowd。Butheseemednottonotice。’
`Well-supposehedid。Yourmindisfreefromworriesabouthimnow，mySue？’
`Yes，Isupposeso。ButIamweak。AlthoughIknowitisallrightwithourplans，Ifeltacuriousdreadofhim；anawe，orterror，ofconventionsIdon’tbelievein。Itcomesovermeattimeslikeasortofcreepingparalysis，andmakesmesosad！’
`Youaregettingtired，Sue。Oh-Iforgot，darling！Yes，we’llgoonatonce。’
Theystartedinquestofthelodging，andatlastfoundsomethingthatseemedtopromisewell，inMildewLane-aspotwhichtoJudewasirresistible-thoughtoSueitwasnotsofascinating-anarrowlaneclosetothebackofacollege，buthavingnocommunicationwithit。Thelittlehousesweredarkenedtogloombythehighcollegiatebuildings，withinwhichlifewassofarremovedfromthatofthepeopleinthelaneasifithadbeenonoppositesidesoftheglobe；yetonlyathicknessofwalldividedthem。Twoorthreeofthehouseshadnoticesofroomstolet，andthenewcomersknockedatthedoorofone，whichawomanopened。
`Ah-listen！’saidJudesuddenly，insteadofaddressingher。
`What？’
`Whythebells-whatchurchcanthatbe？Thetonesarefamiliar。’
Anotherpealofbellshadbeguntosoundoutatsomedistanceoff。
`Idon’tknow！’saidthelandladytartly。`Didyouknocktoaskthat？’
`No；forlodgings，’saidJude，comingtohimself。
ThehouseholderscrutinizedSue’sfigureamoment。`Wehaven’tanytolet，’saidshe，shuttingthedoor。
Judelookeddiscomfited，andtheboydistressed。`Now，Jude，’
saidSue，`letmetry。Youdon’tknowtheway。’
Theyfoundasecondplacehardby；butheretheoccupier，observingnotonlySue，buttheboyandthesmallchildren，saidcivilly，`Iamsorrytosaywedon’tletwheretherearechildren’；andalsoclosedthedoor。
Thesmallchildsquareditsmouthandcriedsilently，withaninstinctthattroubleloomed。Theboysighed。`Idon’tlikeChristminster！’
hesaid。`Arethegreatoldhousesgaols？’
`No；colleges，’saidJude；`whichperhapsyou’llstudyinsomeday。’
`I’drathernot！’theboyrejoined。
`Nowwe’lltryagain，’saidSue。`I’llpullmycloakmoreroundme……LeavingKennetbridgeforthisplaceislikecomingfromCaiaphastoPilate！……HowdoIlooknow，dear？’
`Nobodywouldnoticeitnow，’saidJude。
Therewasoneotherhouse，andtheytriedathirdtime。Thewomanherewasmoreamiable；butshehadlittleroomtospare，andcouldonlyagreetotakeinSueandthechildrenifherhusbandcouldgoelsewhere。
Thisarrangementtheyperforceadopted，inthestressfromdelayingtheirsearchtillsolate。Theycametotermswithher，thoughherpricewasratherhighfortheirpockets。ButtheycouldnotaffordtobecriticaltillJudehadtimetogetamorepermanentabode；andinthishouseSuetookpossessionofabackroomonthesecondfloorwithaninnercloset-roomforthechildren。Judestayedandhadacupoftea；andwaspleasedtofindthatthewindowcommandedthebackofanotherofthecolleges。Kissingallfourhewenttogetafewnecessariesandlookforlodgingsforhimself。
WhenhewasgonethelandladycameuptotalkalittlewithSue，andgathersomethingofthecircumstancesofthefamilyshehadtakenin。
Suehadnottheartofprevarication，and，afteradmittingseveralfactsastotheirlatedifficultiesandwanderings，shewasstartledbythelandladysayingsuddenly：
`Areyoureallyamarriedwoman？’
Suehesitated；andthenimpulsivelytoldthewomanthatherhusbandandherselfhadeachbeenunhappyintheirfirstmarriages，afterwhich，terrifiedatthethoughtofasecondirrevocableunion，andlesttheconditionsofthecontractshouldkilltheirlove，yetwishingtobetogether，theyhadliterallynotfoundthecouragetorepeatit，thoughtheyhadattemptedittwoorthreetimes。Therefore，thoughinherownsenseofthewordsshewasamarriedwoman，inthelandlady’ssenseshewasnot。
Thehousewifelookedembarrassed，andwentdown-stairs。Suesatbythewindowinareverie，watchingtherain。Herquietwasbrokenbythenoiseofsomeoneenteringthehouse，andthenthevoicesofamanandwomaninconversationinthepassagebelow。Theland-lady’shusbandhadarrived，andshewasexplainingtohimtheincomingofthelodgersduringhisabsence。
Hisvoiceroseinsuddenanger。`Nowwhowantssuchawomanhere？
andperhapsaconfinement！……Besides，didn’tIsayIwouldn’thavechildren？
Thehallandstairsfreshpainted，tobekickedaboutbythem！Youmusthaveknownallwasnotstraightwith’em-cominglikethat。TakinginafamilywhenIsaidasingleman。’
Thewifeexpostulated，but，asitseemed，thehusbandinsistedonhispoint；forpresentlyatapcametoSue’sdoor，andthewomanappeared。
`Iamsorrytotellyou，ma’am，’shesaid，`thatIcan’tletyouhavetheroomfortheweekafterall。Myhusbandobjects；andthereforeImustaskyoutogo。Idon’tmindyourstayingoverto-night，asitisgettinglateintheafternoon；butIshallbegladifyoucanleaveearlyinthemorning。
Thoughsheknewthatshewasentitledtothelodgingforaweek，Suedidnotwishtocreateadisturbancebetweenthewifeandhusband，andshesaidshewouldleaveasrequested。WhenthelandladyhadgoneSuelookedoutofthewindowagain。Findingthattherainhadceasedsheproposedtotheboythat，afterputtingthelittleonestobed，theyshouldgooutandsearchaboutforanotherplace，andbespeakitforthemorrow，soasnottobesohard-driventhenastheyhadbeenthatday。
Therefore，insteadofunpackingherboxes，whichhadjustbeensentonfromthestationbyJude，theysalliedoutintothedampthoughnotunpleasantstreets，Sueresolvingnottodisturbherhusbandwiththenewsofhernoticetoquitwhilehewasperhapsworriedinobtainingalodgingforhimself。Inthecompanyoftheboyshewanderedintothisstreetandintothat；butthoughshetriedadozendifferenthousesshefaredfarworsealonethanshehadfaredinJude’scompany，andcouldgetnobodytopromiseheraroomforthefollowingday。Everyhouseholderlookedaskanceatsuchawomanandchildinquiringforaccommodationinthegloom。
`Ioughtnottobeborn，oughtI？’saidtheboywithmisgiving。
ThoroughlytiredatlastSuereturnedtotheplacewhereshewasnotwelcome，butwhereatleastshehadtemporaryshelter。InherabsenceJudehadlefthisaddress；butknowinghowweakhestillwassheadheredtoherdeterminationnottodisturbhimtillthenextday。
JudetheObscureChapter44VI-iiSuesatlookingatthebareflooroftheroom，thehousebeinglittlemorethananoldintramuralcottage，andthensheregardedthesceneoutsidetheuncurtainedwindow。Atsomedistanceopposite，theouterwallsofSarcophagusCollege-silent，black，andwindowless-threwtheirfourcenturiesofgloom，bigotry，anddecayintothelittleroomsheoccupied，shuttingoutthemoonlightbynightandthesunbyday。TheoutlinesofRubricCollegealsowerediscerniblebeyondtheother，andthetowerofathirdfartheroffstill。Shethoughtofthestrangeoperationofasimple-mindedman’srulingpassion，thatitshouldhaveledJude，wholovedherandthechildrensotenderly，toplacethemhereinthisdepressingpurlieu，becausehewasstillhauntedbyhisdream。Evennowhedidnotdistinctlyhearthefreezingnegativethatthosescholaredwallshadechoedtohisdesire。
Thefailuretofindanotherlodging，andthelackofroominthishouseforhisfather，hadmadeadeepimpressionontheboy-abroodingundemonstrativehorrorseemedtohaveseizedhim。Thesilencewasbrokenbyhissaying：`Mother，whatshallwedoto-morrow！’
`Idon’tknow！’saidSuedespondently。`Iamafraidthiswilltroubleyourfather。’
`IwishFatherwasquitewell，andtherehadbeenroomforhim！
Thenitwouldn’tmattersomuch！PoorFather！’
`Itwouldn’t！’
`CanIdoanything？’
`No！Allistrouble，adversity，andsuffering！’
`Fatherwentawaytogiveuschildrenroom，didn’the？’
`Partly。’
`Itwouldbebettertobeouto’theworldthaninit，wouldn’tit？’
`Itwouldalmost，dear。’
`’Tisbecauseofuschildren，too，isn’tit，thatyoucan’tgetagoodlodging？’
`Well-peopledoobjecttochildrensometimes。’
`Thenifchildrenmakesomuchtrouble，whydopeoplehave’em？’
`Oh-becauseitisalawofnature。’
`Butwedon’tasktobeborn？’
`Noindeed。’
`Andwhatmakesitworsewithmeisthatyouarenotmyrealmother，andyouneedn’thavehadmeunlessyouliked。Ioughtn’ttohavecometo’ee-that’stherealtruth！Itroubled’eminAustralia，andItroublefolkhere。IwishIhadn’tbeenborn！’
`Youcouldn’thelpit，mydear。’
`Ithinkthatwheneverchildrenbebornthatarenotwantedtheyshouldbekilleddirectly，beforetheirsoulscometo’em，andnotallowedtogrowbigandwalkabout！’
Suedidnotreply。Shewasdoubtfullyponderinghowtotreatthistooreflectivechild。
Sheatlastconcludedthat，sofarascircumstancespermitted，shewouldbehonestandcandidwithonewhoenteredintoherdifficultieslikeanagedfriend。
`Thereisgoingtobeanotherinourfamilysoon，’shehesitatinglyremarked。
`How？’
`Thereisgoingtobeanotherbaby。’
`What！’Theboyjumpedupwildly。`OhGod，Mother，you’venevera-sentforanother；andsuchtroublewithwhatyou’vegot！’
`Yes，Ihave，Iamsorrytosay！’murmuredSue，hereyesglisteningwithsuspendedtears。
Theboyburstoutweeping。`Ohyoudon’tcare，youdon’tcare！’
hecriedinbitterreproach。`Howevercouldyou，Mother，besowickedandcruelasthis，whenyouneedn’thavedoneittillwewasbetteroff，andFatherwell！Tobringusallintomoretrouble！Noroomforus，andFathera-forcedtogoaway，andweturnedoutto-morrow；andyetyoubegoingtohaveanotherofussoon！……’Tisdoneo’purpose！-
’tis-’tis！’Hewalkedupanddownsobbing。