Iamsincerelysorrytosaythatitwasseriouslymade。Phillotsonlookedmoredisturbedthanbefore，andthemeeting-placeofhisbrowstwitchedagain。Intenminuteshecalledupthechildhehadjustsenttoher，anddispatchedanothermissive：
GodknowsIdon’twanttothwartyouinanyreasonableway。
Mywholethoughtistomakeyoucomfortableandhappy。ButIcannotagreetosuchapreposterousnotionasyourgoingtolivewithyourlover。Youwouldloseeverybody’srespectandregard；andsoshouldI！Afteranintervalasimilarpartwasenactedintheclass-room，andananswercame：
Iknowyoumeanmygood。ButIdon’twanttoberespectable！
Toproduce`Humandevelopmentinitsrichestdiversity’toquoteyourHumboldtistomymindfaraboverespectability。Nodoubtmytastesarelow-inyourview-hopelesslylow！Ifyouwontletmegotohim，willyougrantmethisonerequest-allowmetoliveinyourhouseinaseparateway？Tothishereturnednoanswer。
Shewroteagain：
Iknowwhatyouthink。Butcannotyouhavepityonme？Ibegyouto；Iimploreyoutobemerciful！IwouldnotaskifIwerenotalmostcompelledbywhatIcan’tbear！NopoorwomanhaseverwishedmorethanIthatEvehadnotfallen，sothatastheprimitiveChristiansbelieved
someharmlessmodeofvegetationmighthavepeopledParadise。ButIwon’ttrifle！Bekindtome-eventhoughIhavenotbeenkindtoyou！Iwillgoaway，goabroad，anywhere，andnevertroubleyou。Nearlyanhourpassed，andthenhereturnedananswer：
Idonotwishtopainyou。HowwellyouknowIdon’t！
Givemealittletime。Iamdisposedtoagreetoyourlastrequest。Onelinefromher：
Thankyoufrommyheart，Richard。Idonotdeserveyourkindness。AlldayPhillotsonbentadazedregarduponherthroughtheglazedpartition；
andhefeltaslonelyaswhenhehadnotknownher。
Buthewasasgoodashisword，andconsentedtoherlivingapartinthehouse。Atfirst，whentheymetatmeals，shehadseemedmorecomposedunderthenewarrangement；buttheirksomenessoftheirpositionworkedonhertemperament，andthefibresofhernatureseemedstrainedlikeharp-strings。
Shetalkedvaguelyandindiscriminatelytopreventhistalkingpertinently。
JudetheObscureChapter32IV-ivPhillotsonwassittinguplate，aswasoftenhiscustom，tryingtogettogetherthematerialsforhislong-neglectedhobbyofRomanantiquities。
Forthefirsttimesincerevivingthesubjecthefeltareturnofhisoldinterestinit。Heforgottimeandplace，andwhenherememberedhimselfandascendedtorestitwasnearlytwoo’clock。
Hispreoccupationwassuchthat，thoughhenowsleptontheothersideofthehouse，hemechanicallywenttotheroomthatheandhiswifehadoccupiedwhenhefirstbecameatenantofOld-GrovePlace，whichsincehisdifferenceswithSuehadbeenhersexclusively。Heentered，andunconsciouslybegantoundress。
Therewasacryfromthebed，andaquickmovement。BeforetheschoolmasterhadrealizedwherehewasheperceivedSuestartinguphalf-awake，staringwildly，andspringingoutupontheflooronthesideawayfromhim，whichwastowardsthewindow。Thiswassomewhathiddenbythecanopyofthebedstead，andinamomentheheardherflingingupthesash。Beforehehadthoughtthatshemeanttodomorethangetairshehadmounteduponthesillandleaptout。Shedisappearedinthedarkness，andheheardherfallbelow。
Phillotson，horrified，randownstairs，strikinghimselfsharplyagainstthenewelinhishaste。Openingtheheavydoorheascendedthetwoorthreestepstotheleveloftheground，andthereonthegravelbeforehimlayawhiteheap。Phillotsonseizeditinhisarms，andbringingSueintothehallseatedheronachair，wherehegazedatherbytheflappinglightofthecandlewhichhehadsetdowninthedraughtonthebottomstair。
Shehadcertainlynotbrokenherneck。Shelookedathimwitheyesthatseemednottotakehimin；andthoughnotparticularlylargeingeneraltheyappearedsonow。
Shepressedhersideandrubbedherarm，asifconsciousofpain；
thenstoodup，avertingherface，inevidentdistressathisgaze。
`ThankGod-youarenotkilled！Thoughit’snotforwantoftrying-notmuchhurtIhope？’
Herfall，infact，hadnotbeenaseriousone，probablyowingtothelownessoftheoldroomsandtothehighlevelofthegroundwithout。
Beyondascrapedelbowandablowinthesideshehadapparentlyincurredlittleharm。
`Iwasasleep，Ithink！’shebegan，herpalefacestillturnedawayfromhim。`Andsomethingfrightenedme-aterribledream-IthoughtIsawyou-`Theactualcircumstancesseemedtocomebacktoher，andshewassilent。
Hercloakwashangingatthebackofthedoor，andthewretchedPhillotsonflungitroundher。`ShallIhelpyouupstairs？’heaskeddrearily；
forthesignificanceofallthissickenedhimofhimselfandofeverything。
`Nothankyou，Richard。Iamverylittlehurt。Icanwalk。’
`Yououghttolockyourdoor，’hemechanicallysaid，asiflecturinginschool。`Thennoonecouldintrudeevenbyaccident。’
`Ihavetried-itwon’tlock。Allthedoorsareoutoforder。’
Theaspectofthingswasnotimprovedbyheradmission。Sheascendedthestaircaseslowly，thewavinglightofthecandleshiningonher。Phillotsondidnotapproachher，orattempttoascendhimselftillheheardherenterherroom。Thenhefastenedupthefrontdoor，andreturning，satdownonthelowerstairs，holdingthenewelwithonehand，andbowinghisfaceintotheother。Thusheremainedforalonglongtime-apitiableobjectenoughtoonewhohadseenhim；till，raisinghisheadandsighingasighwhichseemedtosaythatthebusinessofhislifemustbecarriedon，whetherhehadawifeorno，hetookthecandleandwentupstairstohislonelyroomontheothersideofthelanding。
Nofurtherincidenttouchingthematterbetweenthemoccurredtillthefollowingevening，when，immediatelyschoolwasover，PhillotsonwalkedoutofShaston，sayingherequirednotea，andnotinformingSuewherehewasgoing。Hedescendedfromthetownlevelbyasteeproadinanorth-westerlydirection，andcontinuedtomovedownwardstillthesoilchangedfromitswhitedrynesstoatoughbrownclay。HewasnowonthelowalluvialbedsWhereDuncliffeisthetraveller’smark，AndclotyStour’sa-rollingdark。Morethanoncehelookedbackintheincreasingobscurityofevening。AgainsttheskywasShaston，dimlyvisibleOnthegrey-topp’dheightOfPaladore，aspaledayworeAway……[WilliamBarnes]Thenew-litlightsfromitswindowsburntwithasteadyshineasifwatchinghim，oneofwhichwindowswashisown。AboveithecouldjustdiscernthepinnacledtowerofTrinityChurch。Theairdownhere，temperedbythethickdampbedoftenaciousclay，wasnotasithadbeenabove，butsoftandrelaxing，sothatwhenhehadwalkedamileortwohewasobligedtowipehisfacewithhishandkerchief。
LeavingDuncliffeHillontheleftheproceededwithouthesitationthroughtheshade，asamangoeson，nightorday，inadistrictoverwhichhehasplayedasaboy。HehadwalkedaltogetheraboutfourandahalfmilesWhereStourreceivesherstrength，Fromsixcleerefountainsfed，[Drayton]whenhecrossedatributaryoftheStour，andreachedLeddenton-alittletownofthreeorfourthousandinhabitants-wherehewentontotheboys’
school，andknockedatthedoorofthemaster’sresidence。
[1]WilliamBarnes。[2]Drayton。
Aboypupil-teacheropenedit，andtoPhillotson’sinquiryifMr。Gillinghamwasathomerepliedthathewas，goingatonceofftohisownhouse，andleavingPhillotsontofindhiswayinashecould。Hediscoveredhisfriendputtingawaysomebooksfromwhichhehadbeengivingeveninglessons。ThelightoftheparaffinlampfellonPhillotson’sface-paleandwretchedbycontrastwithhisfriend’s，whohadacool，practicallook。
Theyhadbeenschoolmatesinboyhood，andfellow-studentsatWintoncesterTrainingCollege，manyyearsbeforethistime。
`Gladtoseeyou，Dick！Butyoudon’tlookwell？Nothingthematter？’
Phillotsonadvancedwithoutreplying，andGillinghamclosedthecupboardandpulledupbesidehisvisitor。
`Whyyouhaven’tbeenhere-letmesee-sinceyouweremarried？
Icalled，youknow，butyouwereout；anduponmyworditissuchaclimbafterdarkthatIhavebeenwaitingtillthedaysarelongerbeforelumperingupagain。Iamgladyoudidn’twait，however。’
Thoughwell-trainedandevenproficientmasters，theyoccasionallyusedadialect-wordoftheirboyhoodtoeachotherinprivate。
`I’vecome，George，toexplaintoyoumyreasonsfortakingastepthatIamabouttotake，sothatyou，atleast，willunderstandmymotivesifotherpeoplequestionthemanywhen-astheymay，indeedcertainlywill……ButanythingisbetterthanthepresentconditionofthingsGodforbidthatyoushouldeverhavesuchanexperienceasmine！’
`Sitdown。Youdon’tmean-anythingwrongbetweenyouandMrs。
Phillotson？’
`Ido……MywretchedstateisthatI’veawifeIlovewhonotonlydoesnotloveme，but-butWell，Iwon’tsay。Iknowherfeeling！
Ishouldpreferhatredfromher！’
`Ssh！’
`AndthesadpartofitisthatsheisnotsomuchtoblameasI。Shewasapupil-teacherunderme，asyouknow，andItookadvantageofherinexperience，andtoledheroutforwalks，andgothertoagreetoalongengagementbeforeshewellknewherownmind。Afterwardsshesawsomebodyelse，butsheblindlyfulfilledherengagement。’
`Lovingtheother？’
`Yes；withacurioustendersolicitudeseemingly；thoughherexactfeelingforhimisariddletome-andtohimtoo，Ithink-possiblytoherself。SheisoneoftheoddestcreaturesIevermet。However，Ihavebeenstruckwiththesetwofacts；theextraordinarysympathy，orsimilarity，betweenthepair。Heishercousin，whichperhapsaccountsforsomeofit。Theyseemtobeonepersonsplitintwo！Andwithherunconquerableaversiontomyselfasahusband，eventhoughshemaylikemeasafriend，’tistoomuchtobearlonger。Shehasconscientiouslystruggledagainstit，buttonopurpose。Icannotbearit-Icannot！Ican’tanswerherarguments-shehasreadtentimesasmuchasI。Herintellectsparkleslikediamonds，whileminesmoulderslikebrownpaper……She’sonetoomanyforme！’
`She’llgetoverit，good-now？’
`Never！Itis-butIwon’tgointoit-therearereasonswhysheneverwill。Atlastshecalmlyandfirmlyaskedifshemightleavemeandgotohim。Theclimaxcamelastnight，when，owingtomyenteringherroombyaccident，shejumpedoutofwindow-sostrongwasherdreadofme！Shepretendeditwasadream，butthatwastosootheme。Nowwhenawomanjumpsoutofwindowwithoutcaringwhethershebreaksherneckorno，she’snottobemistaken；andthisbeingthecaseIhavecometoaconclusion：thatitiswrongtosotortureafellow-creatureanylonger；
andIwon’tbetheinhumanwretchtodoit，costwhatitmay！’
`What-you’lllethergo？Andwithherlover？’
`Whomwithishermatter。Ishalllethergo；withhimcertainly，ifshewishes。IknowImaybewrong-IknowIcan’tlogically，orreligiously，defendmyconcessiontosuchawishofhers，orharmonizeitwiththedoctrinesIwasbroughtupin。OnlyIknowonething：somethingwithinmetellsmeIamdoingwronginrefusingher。I，likeothermen，professtoholdthatifahusbandgetssuchaso-calledpreposterousrequestfromhiswife，theonlycoursethatcanpossiblyberegardedasrightandproperandhonourableinhimistorefuseit，andputhervirtuouslyunderlockandkey，andmurderherloverperhaps。Butisthatessentiallyright，andproper，andhonourable，orisitcontemptiblymeanandselfish？Idon’tprofesstodecide。Isimplyamgoingtoactbyinstinct，andletprinciplestakecareofthemselves。Ifapersonwhohasblindlywalkedintoaquagmirecriesforhelp，Iaminclinedtogiveit，ifpossible。’
`But-yousee，there’sthequestionofneighboursandsociety-whatwillhappenifeverybody——’
`Oh，Iamnotgoingtobeaphilosopheranylonger！Ionlyseewhat’sundermyeyes。’
`Well-Idon’tagreewithyourinstinct，Dick！’saidGillinghamgravely。`Iamquiteamazed，totellthetruth，thatsuchasedate，ploddingfellowasyoushouldhaveentertainedsuchacrazeforamoment。YousaidwhenIcalledthatshewaspuzzlingandpeculiar：Ithinkyouare！’
`Haveyoueverstoodbeforeawomanwhomyouknowtobeintrinsicallyagoodwoman，whileshehaspleadedforrelease-beenthemanshehasknelttoandimploredindulgenceof？’