OrwasSuesimplysoperversethatshewilfullygaveherselfandhimpainfortheoddandmournfulluxuryofpractisinglong-sufferinginherownperson，andofbeingtouchedwithtenderpityforhimathavingmadehimpractiseit？Hecouldperceivethatherfacewasnervouslyset，andwhentheyreachedthetryingordealofJudegivinghertoPhillotsonshecouldhardlycommandherself；rather，however，asitseemed，fromherknowledgeofwhathercousinmustfeel，whomsheneednothavehadthereatall，thanfromself-consideration。Possiblyshewouldgooninflictingsuchpainsagainandagain，andgrievingforthesuffereragainandagain，inallhercolossalinconsistency。
Phillotsonseemednottonotice，tobesurroundedbyamistwhichpreventedhisseeingtheemotionsofothers。Assoonastheyhadsignedtheirnamesandcomeaway，andthesuspensewasover，Judefeltrelieved。
Themealathislodgingwasaverysimpleaffair，andattwoo’clocktheywentoff。Incrossingthepavementtotheflyshelookedback；andtherewasafrightenedlightinhereyes。CoulditbethatSuehadactedwithsuchunusualfoolishnessastoplungeintosheknewnotwhatforthesakeofassertingherindependenceofhim，ofretaliatingonhimforhissecrecy？PerhapsSuewasthusventuresomewithmenbecauseshewaschildishlyignorantofthatsideoftheirnatureswhichworeoutwomen’sheartsandlives。
Whenherfootwasonthecarriage-stepsheturnedround，sayingthatshehadforgottensomething。Judeandthelandladyofferedtogetit。
`No，’shesaid，runningback。`Itismyhandkerchief。IknowwhereIleftit。’
Judefollowedherback。Shehadfoundit，andcameholdingitinherhand。Shelookedintohiseyeswithherowntearfulones，andherlipssuddenlypartedasifsheweregoingtoavowsomething。Butshewenton；andwhatevershehadmeanttosayremainedunspoken。
JudetheObscureChapter26III-viiiJudewonderedifshehadreallyleftherhandkerchiefbehind；orwhetheritwerethatshehadmiserablywishedtotellhimofalovethatatthelastmomentshecouldnotbringherselftoexpress。
Hecouldnotstayinhissilentlodgingwhentheyweregone，andfearingthathemightbetemptedtodrownhismiseryinalcoholhewentupstairs，changedhisdarkclothesforhiswhite，histhinbootsforhisthick，andproceededtohiscustomaryworkfortheafternoon。
Butinthecathedralheseemedtohearavoicebehindhim，andtobepossessedwithanideathatshewouldcomeback。ShecouldnotpossiblygohomewithPhillotson，hefancied。Thefeelinggrewandstirred。Themomentthattheclockstruckthelastofhisworkinghourshethrewdownhistoolsandrushedhomeward。`Hasanybodybeenforme？’heasked。
Nobodyhadbeenthere。
Ashecouldclaimthedownstairssitting-roomtilltwelveo’clockthatnighthesatinitalltheevening；andevenwhentheclockhadstruckeleven，andthefamilyhadretired，hecouldnotshakeoffthefeelingthatshewouldcomebackandsleepinthelittleroomadjoininghisowninwhichshehadsleptsomanypreviousdays。Heractionswerealwaysunpredictable：
whyshouldshenotcome？Gladlywouldhehavecompoundedforthedenialofherasasweetheartandwifebyhavingherlivethusasafellow-lodgerandfriend，evenonthemostdistantterms。Hissupperstillremainedspread，andgoingtothefrontdoor，andsoftlysettingitopen，hereturnedtotheroomandsataswatcherssitonOld-Mid-summereves，expectingthephantomoftheBeloved。Butshedidnotcome。
Havingindulgedinthiswildhopehewentupstairs，andlookedoutofthewindow，andpicturedherthroughtheeveningjourneytoLondon，whithersheandPhillotsonhadgonefortheirholiday；theirrattlingalongthroughthedampnighttotheirhotel，underthesameskyofribbedcloudasthathebeheld，throughwhichthemoonshoweditspositionratherthanitsshape，andoneortwoofthelargerstarsmadethemselvesvisibleasfaintnebulaeonly。ItwasanewbeginningofSue’shistory。Heprojectedhismindintothefuture，andsawherwithchildrenmoreorlessinherownlikenessaroundher。Buttheconsolationofregardingthemasacontinuationofheridentitywasdeniedtohim，astoallsuchdreamers，bythewilfulnessofNatureinnotallowingissuefromoneparentalone。Everydesiredrenewalofanexistenceisdebasedbybeinghalfalloy。`Ifattheestrangementordeathofmylostlove，Icouldgoandseeherchild-herssolely-
therewouldbecomfortinit！’saidJude。Andthenheagainuneasilysaw，ashehadlatterlyseenwithmoreandmorefrequency，thescornofNatureforman’sfineremotions，andherlackofinterestinhisaspirations。
TheoppressivestrengthofhisaffectionforSueshoweditselfonthemorrowandfollowingdaysyetmoreclearly。HecouldnolongerendurethelightoftheMelchesterlamps；thesunshinewasasdrabpaint，andtheblueskyaszinc。ThenhereceivednewsthathisoldauntwasdangerouslyillatMarygreen，whichintelligencealmostcoincidedwithaletterfromhisformeremployeratChristminster，whoofferedhimpermanentworkofagoodclassifhewouldcomeback。Theletterswerealmostarelieftohim。HestartedtovisitAuntDrusilla，andresolvedtogoonwardtoChristminstertoseewhatworththeremightbeinthebuilder’soffer。
JudefoundhisauntevenworsethanthecommunicationfromtheWidowEdlinhadledhimtoexpect。Therewaseverypossibilityofherlingeringonforweeksormonths，thoughlittlelikelihood。HewrotetoSueinformingherofthestateofheraunt，andsuggestingthatshemightliketoseeheragedrelativealive。HewouldmeetheratAlfredstonRoad，thefollowingevening，Monday，onhiswaybackfromChristminster，ifshecouldcomebytheup-trainwhichcrossedhisdown-trainatthatstation。Nextmorning，according，hewentontoChristminster，intendingtoreturntoAlfredstonsoonenoughtokeepthesuggestedappointmentwithSue。
Thecityoflearningworeanestrangedlook，andhehadlostallfeelingforitsassociations。Yetasthesunmadevividlightsandshadesofthemullionedarchitectureofthefacades，anddrewpatternsofthecrinkledbattlementsontheyoungturfofthequadrangles，Judethoughthehadneverseentheplacelookmorebeautiful。HecametothestreetinwhichhehadfirstbeheldSue。Thechairshehadoccupiedwhen，leaningoverherecclesiasticalscrolls，ahog-hairbrushinherhand，hergirlishfigurehadarrestedthegazeofhisinquiringeyes，stoodpreciselyinitsformerspot，empty。Itwasasifsheweredead，andnobodyhadbeenfoundcapableofsucceedingherinthatartisticpursuit。Herswasnowthecityphantom，whilethoseoftheintellectualanddevotionalworthieswhohadoncemovedhimtoemotionwerenolongerabletoasserttheirpresencethere。
However，herehewas；andinfulfilmentofhisintentionhewentontohisformerlodgingin`Beersheba，’neartheritualisticchurchofSt。Silas。Theoldlandladywhoopenedthedoorseemedgladtoseehimagain，andbringingsomelunchinformedhimthatthebuilderwhohademployedhimhadcalledtoinquirehisaddress。
Judewentontothestone-yardwherehehadworked。Buttheoldshedsandbankersweredistastefultohim；hefeltitimpossibletoengagehimselftoreturnandstayinthisplaceofvanisheddreams。HelongedforthehourofthehomewardtraintoAlfredston，wherehemightprobablymeetSue。
Then，foroneghastlyhalf-hourofdepressioncausedbythesescenes，therereturneduponhimthatfeelingwhichhadbeenhisundoingmorethanonce-thathewasnotworththetroubleofbeingtakencareofeitherbyhimselforothers；andduringthishalf-hourhemetTinkerTaylor，thebankruptecclesiasticalironmonger，atFourways，whoproposedthattheyshouldadjourntoabaranddrinktogether。TheywalkedalongthestreettilltheystoodbeforeoneofthegreatpalpitatingcentresofChristminsterlife，theinnwhereinheformerlyhadrespondedtothechallengetorehearsetheCreedinLatin-nowapopulartavernwithaspaciousandinvitingentrance，whichgaveadmittancetoabarthathadbeenentirelyrenovatedandrefittedinmodernstylesinceJude’sresidencehere。
TinkerTaylordrankoffhisglassanddeparted，sayingitwastoostylishaplacenowforhimtofeelathomeinunlesshewasdrunkerthanhehadmoneytobejustthen。Judewaslongerfinishinghis，andstoodabstractedlysilentinthe，fortheminute，almostemptyplace。Thebarhadbeenguttedandnewlyarrangedthroughout，mahoganyfixtureshavingtakentheplaceoftheoldpaintedones，whileatthebackofthestanding-spacetherewerestuffedsofa-benches。Theroomwasdividedintocompartmentsintheapprovedmanner，betweenwhichwerescreensofgroundglassinmahoganyframing，topreventtopersinonecompartmentbeingputtotheblushbytherecognitionsofthoseinthenext。Ontheinsideofthecountertwobarmaidsleantoverthewhite-handledbeer-engines，andtherowoflittlesilveredtapsinside，drippingintoapewtertrough。
Feelingtired，andhavingnothingmoretodotillthetrainleft，Judesatdownononeofthesofas。Atthebackofthebarmaidsrosebevel-edgedmirrors，withglassshelvesrunningalongtheirfront，onwhichstoodpreciousliquidsthatJudedidnotknowthenameof，inbottlesoftopaz，sapphire，rubyandamethyst。Themomentwasenlivenedbytheentranceofsomecustomersintothenextcompartment，andthestartingofthemechanicaltell-taleofmoniesreceived，whichemittedating-tingeverytimeacoinwasputin。
ThebarmaidattendingtothiscompartmentwasinvisibletoJude’sdirectglance，thoughareflectionofherbackintheglassbehindherwasoccasionallycaughtbyhiseyes。Hehadonlyobservedthislistlessly，whensheturnedherfaceforamomenttotheglasstosetherhairtidy。
ThenhewasamazedtodiscoverthatthefacewasArabella’s。
Ifshehadcomeontohiscompartmentshewouldhaveseenhim。
Butshedidnot，thisbeingpresidedoverbythemaidenontheotherside。
Abbywasinablackgown，withwhitelinencuffsandabroadwhitecollar，andherfigure，moredevelopedthanformerly，wasaccentuatedbyabunchofdaffodilsthatsheworeonherleftbosom。Inthecompartmentsheservedstoodanelectro-platedfountainofwateroveraspirit-lamp，whoseblueflamesentasteamfromthetop，allthisbeingvisibletohimonlyinthemirrorbehindher；whichalsoreflectedthefacesofthemenshewasattendingto-oneofthemahandsome，dissipatedyoungfellow，possiblyanundergraduate，whohadbeenrelatingtoheranexperienceofsomehumoroussort。
`Oh，Mr。Cockman，now！Howcanyoutellsuchataletomeinmyinnocence！’shecriedgaily。`Mr。Cockman，whatdoyouusetomakeyourmoustachecurlsobeautiful？’Astheyoungmanwascleanshaventheretortprovokedalaughathisexpense。
`Come！’saidhe，`I’llhaveacuracao；andalight，please。’
Sheservedtheliqueurfromoneofthelovelybottlesandstrikingamatchheldittohiscigarettewithministeringarchnesswhilehewhiffed。
`Well，haveyouheardfromyourhusbandlately，mydear？’heasked。
`Notasound，’saidshe。
`Whereishe？’
`IlefthiminAustralia；andIsupposehe’stherestill。’
Jude’seyesgrewrounder。
`Whatmadeyoupartfromhim？’
`Don’tyouaskquestions，andyouwon’thearlies。’
`Comethen，givememychange，whichyou’vebeenkeepingfrommeforthelastquarterofanhour；andI’llromanticallyvanishupthestreetofthispicturesquecity。’
Shehandedthechangeoverthecounter，intakingwhichhecaughtherfingersandheldthem。Therewasaslightstruggleandtitter，andhebadehergood-byeandleft。
Judehadlookedonwiththeeyeofadazedphilosopher。ItwasextraordinaryhowfarremovedfromhislifeArabellanowseemedtobe。
Hecouldnotrealizetheirnominalcloseness。And，thisbeingthecase，inhispresentframeofmindhewasindifferenttothefactthatArabellawashiswifeindeed。
Thecompartmentthatsheservedemptieditselfofvisitors，andafterabriefthoughtheenteredit，andwentforwardtothecounter。Arabelladidnotrecognizehimforamoment。Thentheirglancesmet。Shestarted；
tillahumorousimpudencesparkledinhereyes，andshespoke。
`Well，I’mblest！Ithoughtyouwereundergroundyearsago！’
`Oh！’
`Ineverheardanythingofyou，orIdon’tknowthatIshouldhavecomehere。Butnevermind！WhatshallItreatyoutothisafternoon？
AScotchandsoda？Come，anythingthatthehousewillafford，foroldacquaintance’
sake！’
`Thanks，Arabella，’saidJudewithoutasmile。`ButIdon’twantanythingmorethanI’vehad。’Thefactwasthatherunexpectedpresencetherehaddestroyedatastrokehismomentarytasteforstrongliquorascompletelyasifithadwhiskedhimbacktohismilk-fedinfancy。
`That’sapity，nowyoucouldgetitfornothing。’
`Howlonghaveyoubeenhere？’