第54章
加入书架 A- A+
点击下载App,搜索"Mansfield Parkby",免费读到尾

  andinthecourseofalongmorning,spentprincipallywithhertwoaunts,shewasoftenundertheinfluenceofmuchlesssanguineviews。William,determinedtomakethislastdayadayofthoroughenjoyment,wasoutsnipe-shooting;Edmund,shehadtoomuchreasontosuppose,wasattheParsonage;andleftalonetobeartheworryingofMrs。Norris,whowascrossbecausethehousekeeperwouldhaveherownwaywiththesupper,andwhom_she_couldnotavoidthoughthehousekeepermight,Fannywasworndownatlasttothinkeverythinganevilbelongingtotheball,andwhensentoffwithapartingworrytodress,movedaslanguidlytowardsherownroom,andfeltasincapableofhappinessasifshehadbeenallowednoshareinit。

  Asshewalkedslowlyupstairsshethoughtofyesterday;

  ithadbeenaboutthesamehourthatshehadreturnedfromtheParsonage,andfoundEdmundintheEastroom。

  “SupposeIweretofindhimthereagainto-day!“saidshetoherself,inafondindulgenceoffancy。

  “Fanny,“saidavoiceatthatmomentnearher。

  Startingandlookingup,shesaw,acrossthelobbyshehadjustreached,Edmundhimself,standingattheheadofadifferentstaircase。Hecametowardsher。“Youlooktiredandfagged,Fanny。Youhavebeenwalkingtoofar。“

  “No,Ihavenotbeenoutatall。“

  “Thenyouhavehadfatigueswithindoors,whichareworse。

  Youhadbetterhavegoneout。“

  Fanny,notlikingtocomplain,founditeasiesttomakenoanswer;andthoughhelookedatherwithhisusualkindness,shebelievedhehadsoonceasedtothinkofhercountenance。

  Hedidnotappearinspirits:somethingunconnectedwithherwasprobablyamiss。Theyproceededupstairstogether,theirroomsbeingonthesamefloorabove。

  “IcomefromDr。Grant’s,“saidEdmundpresently。

  “Youmayguessmyerrandthere,Fanny。“Andhelookedsoconscious,thatFannycouldthinkbutofoneerrand,whichturnedhertoosickforspeech。“IwishedtoengageMissCrawfordforthetwofirstdances,“wastheexplanationthatfollowed,andbroughtFannytolifeagain,enablingher,asshefoundshewasexpectedtospeak,touttersomethinglikeaninquiryastotheresult。

  “Yes,“heanswered,“sheisengagedtome;but“withasmilethatdidnotsiteasy“shesaysitistobethelasttimethatsheeverwilldancewithme。Sheisnotserious。

  Ithink,Ihope,Iamsuresheisnotserious;butIwouldrathernothearit。Sheneverhasdancedwithaclergyman,shesays,andshenever_will_。Formyownsake,Icouldwishtherehadbeennoballjustat——Imeannotthisveryweek,thisveryday;to-morrowIleavehome。“

  Fannystruggledforspeech,andsaid,“Iamverysorrythatanythinghasoccurredtodistressyou。Thisoughttobeadayofpleasure。Myunclemeantitso。“

  “Ohyes,yes!anditwillbeadayofpleasure。

  Itwillallendright。Iamonlyvexedforamoment。

  Infact,itisnotthatIconsidertheballasill-timed;

  whatdoesitsignify?But,Fanny,“stoppingher,bytakingherhand,andspeakinglowandseriously,“youknowwhatallthismeans。Youseehowitis;

  andcouldtellme,perhapsbetterthanIcouldtellyou,howandwhyIamvexed。Letmetalktoyoualittle。

  Youareakind,kindlistener。Ihavebeenpainedbyhermannerthismorning,andcannotgetthebetterofit。Iknowherdispositiontobeassweetandfaultlessasyourown,buttheinfluenceofherformercompanionsmakesherseem——givestoherconversation,toherprofessedopinions,sometimesatingeofwrong。

  Shedoesnot_think_evil,butshespeaksit,speaksitinplayfulness;andthoughIknowittobeplayfulness,itgrievesmetothesoul。“

  “Theeffectofeducation,“saidFannygently。

  Edmundcouldnotbutagreetoit。“Yes,thatuncleandaunt!

  Theyhaveinjuredthefinestmind;forsometimes,Fanny,Iowntoyou,itdoesappearmorethanmanner:

  itappearsasiftheminditselfwastainted。“

  Fannyimaginedthistobeanappealtoherjudgment,andtherefore,afteramoment’sconsideration,said,“Ifyouonlywantmeasalistener,cousin,IwillbeasusefulasIcan;butIamnotqualifiedforanadviser。

  Donotaskadviceof_me_。Iamnotcompetent。“

  “Youareright,Fanny,toprotestagainstsuchanoffice,butyouneednotbeafraid。ItisasubjectonwhichI

  shouldneveraskadvice;itisthesortofsubjectonwhichithadbetterneverbeasked;andfew,Iimagine,doaskit,butwhentheywanttobeinfluencedagainsttheirconscience。Ionlywanttotalktoyou。“

  “Onethingmore。Excusetheliberty;buttakecare_how_youtalktome。Donottellmeanythingnow,whichhereafteryoumaybesorryfor。Thetimemaycome——“

  Thecolourrushedintohercheeksasshespoke。

  “DearestFanny!“criedEdmund,pressingherhandtohislipswithalmostasmuchwarmthasifithadbeenMissCrawford’s,“youareallconsideratethought!

  Butitisunnecessaryhere。Thetimewillnevercome。

  Nosuchtimeasyoualludetowillevercome。Ibegintothinkitmostimprobable:thechancesgrowlessandless;

  andevenifitshould,therewillbenothingtoberememberedbyeitheryouormethatweneedbeafraidof,forIcanneverbeashamedofmyownscruples;andiftheyareremoved,itmustbebychangesthatwillonlyraisehercharacterthemorebytherecollectionofthefaultssheoncehad。YouaretheonlybeinguponearthtowhomIshouldsaywhatIhavesaid;butyouhavealwaysknownmyopinionofher;youcanbearmewitness,Fanny,thatI

  haveneverbeenblinded。Howmanyatimehavewetalkedoverherlittleerrors!Youneednotfearme;

  Ihavealmostgivenupeveryseriousideaofher;

  butImustbeablockheadindeed,if,whateverbefellme,Icouldthinkofyourkindnessandsympathywithoutthesincerestgratitude。“

  Hehadsaidenoughtoshaketheexperienceofeighteen。

  HehadsaidenoughtogiveFannysomehappierfeelingsthanshehadlatelyknown,andwithabrighterlook,sheanswered,“Yes,cousin,Iamconvincedthat_you_

  wouldbeincapableofanythingelse,thoughperhapssomemightnot。Icannotbeafraidofhearinganythingyouwishtosay。Donotcheckyourself。Tellmewhateveryoulike。“

  Theywerenowonthesecondfloor,andtheappearanceofahousemaidpreventedanyfartherconversation。

  ForFanny’spresentcomfortitwasconcluded,perhaps,atthehappiestmoment:hadhebeenabletotalkanotherfiveminutes,thereisnosayingthathemightnothavetalkedawayallMissCrawford’sfaultsandhisowndespondence。

  Butasitwas,theypartedwithlooksonhissideofgratefulaffection,andwithsomeveryprecioussensationsonhers。Shehadfeltnothinglikeitforhours。

  SincethefirstjoyfromMr。Crawford’snotetoWilliamhadwornaway,shehadbeeninastateabsolutelythereverse;

  therehadbeennocomfortaround,nohopewithinher。

  Noweverythingwassmiling。William’sgoodfortunereturnedagainuponhermind,andseemedofgreatervaluethanatfirst。Theball,too——suchaneveningofpleasurebeforeher!Itwasnowarealanimation;

  andshebegantodressforitwithmuchofthehappyflutterwhichbelongstoaball。Allwentwell:

  shedidnotdislikeherownlooks;andwhenshecametothenecklacesagain,hergoodfortuneseemedcomplete,forupontrialtheonegivenherbyMissCrawfordwouldbynomeansgothroughtheringofthecross。Shehad,toobligeEdmund,resolvedtowearit;butitwastoolargeforthepurpose。His,therefore,mustbeworn;

  andhaving,withdelightfulfeelings,joinedthechainandthecross——thosememorialsofthetwomostbelovedofherheart,thosedearesttokenssoformedforeachotherbyeverythingrealandimaginary——andputthemroundherneck,andseenandfelthowfullofWilliamandEdmundtheywere,shewasable,withoutaneffort,toresolveonwearingMissCrawford’snecklacetoo。

  Sheacknowledgedittoberight。MissCrawfordhadaclaim;

  andwhenitwasnolongertoencroachon,tointerferewiththestrongerclaims,thetruerkindnessofanother,shecoulddoherjusticeevenwithpleasuretoherself。

  Thenecklacereallylookedverywell;andFannyleftherroomatlast,comfortablysatisfiedwithherselfandallabouther。

  HerauntBertramhadrecollectedheronthisoccasionwithanunusualdegreeofwakefulness。Ithadreallyoccurredtoher,unprompted,thatFanny,preparingforaball,mightbegladofbetterhelpthantheupperhousemaid’s,andwhendressedherself,sheactuallysentherownmaidtoassisther;toolate,ofcourse,tobeofanyuse。

点击下载App,搜索"Mansfield Parkby",免费读到尾