第53章
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  No,Icansafelysay,Ihavenopleasuresocomplete,sounalloyed。Itiswithoutadrawback。“

  UponsuchexpressionsofaffectionFannycouldhavelivedanhourwithoutsayinganotherword;butEdmund,afterwaitingamoment,obligedhertobringdownhermindfromitsheavenlyflightbysaying,“Butwhatisitthatyouwanttoconsultmeabout?“

  Itwasaboutthenecklace,whichshewasnowmostearnestlylongingtoreturn,andhopedtoobtainhisapprobationofherdoing。Shegavethehistoryofherrecentvisit,andnowherrapturesmightwellbeover;forEdmundwassostruckwiththecircumstance,sodelightedwithwhatMissCrawfordhaddone,sogratifiedbysuchacoincidenceofconductbetweenthem,thatFannycouldnotbutadmitthesuperiorpowerofonepleasureoverhisownmind,thoughitmighthaveitsdrawback。Itwassometimebeforeshecouldgethisattentiontoherplan,oranyanswertoherdemandofhisopinion:hewasinareverieoffondreflection,utteringonlynowandthenafewhalf-sentencesofpraise;butwhenhedidawakeandunderstand,hewasverydecidedinopposingwhatshewished。

  “Returnthenecklace!No,mydearFanny,uponnoaccount。

  Itwouldbemortifyingherseverely。Therecanhardlybeamoreunpleasantsensationthanthehavinganythingreturnedonourhandswhichwehavegivenwithareasonablehopeofitscontributingtothecomfortofafriend。

  Whyshouldsheloseapleasurewhichshehasshewnherselfsodeservingof?“

  “Ifithadbeengiventomeinthefirstinstance,“

  saidFanny,“Ishouldnothavethoughtofreturningit;

  butbeingherbrother’spresent,isnotitfairtosupposethatshewouldrathernotpartwithit,whenitisnotwanted?“

  “Shemustnotsupposeitnotwanted,notacceptable,atleast:anditshavingbeenoriginallyherbrother’sgiftmakesnodifference;forasshewasnotpreventedfromoffering,noryoufromtakingitonthataccount,itoughtnottopreventyoufromkeepingit。Nodoubtitishandsomerthanmine,andfitterforaballroom。“

  “No,itisnothandsomer,notatallhandsomerinitsway,and,formypurpose,nothalfsofit。

  ThechainwillagreewithWilliam’scrossbeyondallcomparisonbetterthanthenecklace。“

  “Foronenight,Fanny,foronlyonenight,ifit_be_

  asacrifice;Iamsureyouwill,uponconsideration,makethatsacrificeratherthangivepaintoonewhohasbeensostudiousofyourcomfort。MissCrawford’sattentionstoyouhavebeen——notmorethanyouwerejustlyentitledto——

  Iamthelastpersontothinkthat_could__be_,buttheyhavebeeninvariable;andtobereturningthemwithwhatmusthavesomethingthe_air_ofingratitude,thoughIknowitcouldneverhavethe_meaning_,isnotinyournature,Iamsure。Wearthenecklace,asyouareengagedtodo,to-morrowevening,andletthechain,whichwasnotorderedwithanyreferencetotheball,bekeptforcommoneroccasions。Thisismyadvice。

  IwouldnothavetheshadowofacoolnessbetweenthetwowhoseintimacyIhavebeenobservingwiththegreatestpleasure,andinwhosecharactersthereissomuchgeneralresemblanceintruegenerosityandnaturaldelicacyastomakethefewslightdifferences,resultingprincipallyfromsituation,noreasonablehindrancetoaperfectfriendship。Iwouldnothavetheshadowofacoolnessarise,“herepeated,hisvoicesinkingalittle,“betweenthetwodearestobjectsIhaveonearth。“

  Hewasgoneashespoke;andFannyremainedtotranquilliseherselfasshecould。Shewasoneofhistwodearest——

  thatmustsupporther。Buttheother:thefirst!

  Shehadneverheardhimspeaksoopenlybefore,andthoughittoldhernomorethanwhatshehadlongperceived,itwasastab,forittoldofhisownconvictionsandviews。

  Theyweredecided。HewouldmarryMissCrawford。

  Itwasastab,inspiteofeverylong-standingexpectation;

  andshewasobligedtorepeatagainandagain,thatshewasoneofhistwodearest,beforethewordsgaveheranysensation。CouldshebelieveMissCrawfordtodeservehim,itwouldbe——oh,howdifferentwoulditbe——

  howfarmoretolerable!Buthewasdeceivedinher:

  hegavehermeritswhichshehadnot;herfaultswerewhattheyhadeverbeen,buthesawthemnolonger。

  Tillshehadshedmanytearsoverthisdeception,Fannycouldnotsubdueheragitation;andthedejectionwhichfollowedcouldonlyberelievedbytheinfluenceofferventprayersforhishappiness。

  Itwasherintention,asshefeltittobeherduty,totrytoovercomeallthatwasexcessive,allthatborderedonselfishness,inheraffectionforEdmund。

  Tocallortofancyitaloss,adisappointment,wouldbeapresumptionforwhichshehadnotwordsstrongenoughtosatisfyherownhumility。TothinkofhimasMissCrawfordmightbejustifiedinthinking,wouldinherbeinsanity。

  Toherhecouldbenothingunderanycircumstances;

  nothingdearerthanafriend。Whydidsuchanideaoccurtoherevenenoughtobereprobatedandforbidden?Itoughtnottohavetouchedontheconfinesofherimagination。

  Shewouldendeavourtoberational,andtodeservetherightofjudgingofMissCrawford’scharacter,andtheprivilegeoftruesolicitudeforhimbyasoundintellectandanhonestheart。

  Shehadalltheheroismofprinciple,andwasdeterminedtodoherduty;buthavingalsomanyofthefeelingsofyouthandnature,lethernotbemuchwonderedat,if,aftermakingallthesegoodresolutionsonthesideofself-government,sheseizedthescrapofpaperonwhichEdmundhadbegunwritingtoher,asatreasurebeyondallherhopes,andreadingwiththetenderestemotionthesewords,“MyverydearFanny,youmustdomethefavourtoaccept“

  lockeditupwiththechain,asthedearestpartofthegift。

  Itwastheonlythingapproachingtoaletterwhichshehadeverreceivedfromhim;shemightneverreceiveanother;

  itwasimpossiblethatsheevershouldreceiveanothersoperfectlygratifyingintheoccasionandthestyle。

  Twolinesmoreprizedhadneverfallenfromthepenofthemostdistinguishedauthor——nevermorecompletelyblessedtheresearchesofthefondestbiographer。

  Theenthusiasmofawoman’sloveisevenbeyondthebiographer’s。Toher,thehandwritingitself,independentofanythingitmayconvey,isablessedness。

  NeverweresuchcharacterscutbyanyotherhumanbeingasEdmund’scommonesthandwritinggave!Thisspecimen,writteninhasteasitwas,hadnotafault;andtherewasafelicityintheflowofthefirstfourwords,inthearrangementof“MyverydearFanny,“whichshecouldhavelookedatforever。

  Havingregulatedherthoughtsandcomfortedherfeelingsbythishappymixtureofreasonandweakness,shewasableinduetimetogodownandresumeherusualemploymentsnearherauntBertram,andpayhertheusualobservanceswithoutanyapparentwantofspirits。

  Thursday,predestinedtohopeandenjoyment,came;andopenedwithmorekindnesstoFannythansuchself-willed,unmanageabledaysoftenvolunteer,forsoonafterbreakfastaveryfriendlynotewasbroughtfromMr。CrawfordtoWilliam,statingthatashefoundhimselfobligedtogotoLondononthemorrowforafewdays,hecouldnothelptryingtoprocureacompanion;andthereforehopedthatifWilliamcouldmakeuphismindtoleaveMansfieldhalfadayearlierthanhadbeenproposed,hewouldacceptaplaceinhiscarriage。Mr。Crawfordmeanttobeintownbyhisuncle’saccustomarylatedinner-hour,andWilliamwasinvitedtodinewithhimattheAdmiral’s。

  TheproposalwasaverypleasantonetoWilliamhimself,whoenjoyedtheideaoftravellingpostwithfourhorses,andsuchagood-humoured,agreeablefriend;and,inlikeningittogoingupwithdespatches,wassayingatonceeverythinginfavourofitshappinessanddignitywhichhisimaginationcouldsuggest;andFanny,fromadifferentmotive,wasexceedinglypleased;fortheoriginalplanwasthatWilliamshouldgoupbythemailfromNorthamptonthefollowingnight,whichwouldnothaveallowedhimanhour’srestbeforehemusthavegotintoaPortsmouthcoach;

  andthoughthisofferofMr。Crawford’swouldrobherofmanyhoursofhiscompany,shewastoohappyinhavingWilliamsparedfromthefatigueofsuchajourney,tothinkofanythingelse。SirThomasapprovedofitforanotherreason。Hisnephew’sintroductiontoAdmiralCrawfordmightbeofservice。TheAdmiral,hebelieved,hadinterest。Uponthewhole,itwasaveryjoyousnote。

  Fanny’sspiritslivedonithalfthemorning,derivingsomeaccessionofpleasurefromitswriterbeinghimselftogoaway。

  Asfortheball,sonearathand,shehadtoomanyagitationsandfearstohavehalftheenjoymentinanticipationwhichsheoughttohavehad,ormusthavebeensupposedtohavebythemanyyoungladieslookingforwardtothesameeventinsituationsmoreatease,butundercircumstancesoflessnovelty,lessinterest,lesspeculiargratification,thanwouldbeattributedtoher。MissPrice,knownonlybynametohalfthepeopleinvited,wasnowtomakeherfirstappearance,andmustberegardedasthequeenoftheevening。

  WhocouldbehappierthanMissPrice?ButMissPricehadnotbeenbroughtuptothetradeof_coming__out_;

  andhadsheknowninwhatlightthisballwas,ingeneral,consideredrespectingher,itwouldverymuchhavelessenedhercomfortbyincreasingthefearsshealreadyhadofdoingwrongandbeinglookedat。Todancewithoutmuchobservationoranyextraordinaryfatigue,tohavestrengthandpartnersforabouthalftheevening,todancealittlewithEdmund,andnotagreatdealwithMr。Crawford,toseeWilliamenjoyhimself,andbeabletokeepawayfromherauntNorris,wastheheightofherambition,andseemedtocomprehendhergreatestpossibilityofhappiness。Asthesewerethebestofherhopes,theycouldnotalwaysprevail;

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