第15章
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  Withinit,featuredevenindeathdine,Islyingadeadinfant,slainbythee。

  NotsolelythattheFutureshedestroys,AndthefairlifewhichinthedistanceliesForallmen,beckoningoutfromdimrichskies:

  Northatthepassinghour’ssupportingjoysHavelostthekeen-edgedflavour,whichbegatDistinctioninoldtimes,andstillshouldbreedSweetMemory,andHope,——earth’smodestseed,Andheaven’shigh-prompting:notthattheworldisflatSincethatsoft-luringcreatureIembracedAmongthechildrenofIllusionwent:

  MethinkswithallthislossIwerecontent,IfthemadPast,onwhichmyfootisbased,Werefirm,ormightbeblotted:butthewholeOflifeismed:themockingPastwillstay:

  AndifIdrinkoblionofaday,SoshortenIthestatureofmysoul。

  ’IplayforSeasons;notEternities!’

  SaysNature,laughingonherway。’SomustAllthosewhosestakeisnothingmorethandust!’

  Andlo,shewins,andofherharmoniesSheisfullsure!UponherdyingroseShedropsalookoffondness,andgoesby,Scarceanyretrospectioninhereye;

  Forshethelawsofgrowthmostdeeplyknows,Whosehandsbear,here,aseed-bag——there,anurn。

  Pledgedsheherselftoaught,’twouldmarkherend!

  ThislessonofouronlysiblefriendCanwenotteachourfoolishheartstolearn?

  Yes!yes!——but,oh,ourhumanroseisfairSurpassingly!LosecalmlyLove’sgreatbliss,WhentherenewedforeverofakissWhirlslifewithintheshowerofloosenedhair!

  WhatsoulwouldbargainforacurethatbringsContemptthenobleragonytokill?

  Ratherletmebearonthebitterill,Andstrikethisrustybosomwithnewstings!

  Itseemsthereisanotherveeringfit,Sinceonagold-hairedlady’seyeballspureIlookedwithlittleprospectofacure,Thewhilehermouth’sredbowloosedshaftsofwit。

  Justheaven!canitbetruethatjealousyHasdeckedthewomanthus?anddoesherheadSwimsomewhatforpossessionsforfeited?

  Madam,youteachmemanythingsthatbe。

  Iopenanoldbook,andthereIfindThat’Womenstillmaylovewhomtheydecee。’

  SuchloveIprizenot,madam:byyourleave,Thegameyouplayatisnottomymind。

  Ithinkshesleeps:itmustbesleep,whenlowHangsthatabandonedarmtowardthefloor;

  Thefaceturnedwithit。Nowmakefastthedoor。

  Sleepon:itisyourhusband,notyourfoe。

  ThePoet’sblackstage-lionofwrongedloveFrightsnotourmoderndames:-wellifhedid!

  NowwillIpournewlightuponthatlid,Full-slopinglikethebreastsbeneath。’Sweetdove,Yoursleepispure。Nay,pardon:Idisturb。

  Idonot?good!’Herwakinginfant-stareGrowswomantotheburdenmyhandsbear:

  HerownhandwritingtomewhennocurbWasleftonPassion’stongue。Shetremblesthrough;

  Awoman’stremble——thewholeinstrument:-

  Ishowanotherletterlatelysent。

  Thewordsareverylike:thenameisnew。I

  ouroldshipwreckeddaystherewasanhour,Wheninthefirelightsteadilyaglow,Joinedslackly,webeheldtheredchasmgrowAmongtheclickingcoals。Ourlibrary-bowerThatevewaslefttous:andhushedwesatAsloverstowhomTimeiswhispering。

  Fromsudden-openeddoorsweheardthemsing:

  Thenoddingeldersmedgoodwinewithchat。

  WellknewwethatLife’sgreatesttreasurelayWithus,andofitwasourtalk。’Ah,yes!

  Lovedies!’Isaid:Ineverthoughtitless。

  Sheyearnedtomethatsentencetounsay。

  Thenwhenthefiredomedblackening,IfoundHercheekwassaltagainstmykiss,andswiftUpthesharpscaleofsobsherbreastdidlift:-

  NowamIhauntedbythattaste!thatsound!

  Atdinner,sheishostess,Iamhost。

  Wentthefeastevercheerfuller?ShekeepsTheTopicoverintellectualdeepsInbuoyancyafloat。Theyseenoghost。

  Withsparklingsurface-eyesweplytheball:

  Itisintruthamostcontagiousgame:

  HIDINGTHESKELETON,shallbeitsname。

  Suchplayasthisthedelsmightappal!

  Buthere’sthegreaterwonder;inthatwe,Enamouredofanactingnoughtcantire,Eachother,liketruehypocrites,admire;

  Warm-lightedlooks,Love’sephemerioe,Shootgailyo’erthedishesandthewine。

  Wewakenenvyofourhappylot。

  Fast,sweet,andgolden,showsthemarriage-knot。

  Dearguests,younowhaveseenLove’scorpse-lightshine。

  HereJackandTomarepairedwithMollandMeg。

  Curvedopentotherer-reachisseenAcountrymerry-makingonthegreen。

  Fairspaceforsignalshakingsoftheleg。

  Thatlittlescrewyfiddlerfromhisbooth,Whenceflowsonenut-brownstream,commandsthejointsOfallwhocaperhereatvariouspoints。

  Ihaveknownrusticrevelsinmyyouth:

  TheMay-flypleasuresofamindatease。

  Anearlygoddesswasacountrylass:

  AcharmedAmphion-oakshetrippedthegrass。

  WhatlifewasthatIled?Thelifeofthese?

  Heavenkeepthemhappy!Naturetheyseemnear。

  Theymust,Ithink,bewiserthanIam;

  Theyhavethesecretofthebullandlamb。

  ’Tistruethatwhenwetraceitssource,’tisbeer。

  Nostateisenable。TotheluckaloneOfsomefewfavouredmenIwouldputclaim。

  Ibleed,butherwhowoundsIwillnotblame。

  HaveInotfeltherheartas’tweremyownBeatthro’me?couldIhurther?heavenandhell!

  ButIcouldhurthercruelly!CanIletMyLove’soldtime-piecetoanotherset,Swearitcan’tstop,andmustforeverswell?

  Sure,that’sonewayLovedriftsintothemartWheregoat-leggedbuyersthrong。Iseenotplain:-

  Mymeaningis,itmustnotbeagain。

  GreatGod!themaddestgamblerthrowshisheart。

  Ifanystatebeenableonearth,’Tisyonbornidiot’s,who,asdaysgoby,Stillrubshishandsbeforehim,likeafly,Inaqueersortofmeditatemirth。

  IamnotofthosemiserablemalesWhosniffatceand,daringnottosnap,Dothereforehopeforheaven。ItakethehapOfallmydeeds。ThewindthatfillsmysailsPropels;butIamhelmsman。AmIwrecked,IknowthedelhassufficientweightTobear:Ilayitnotonhim,orfate。

  Besides,he’sdamned。ThatmanIdosuspectAcoward,whowouldburdenthepoordeuceWithwhatensuesfromhisownslipperiness。

  Ihavejustfoundawanton-scentedtressInanolddesk,dustyforlackofuse。

  Ofdaysandnightsitisdemonstrate,That,likesomeagedstar,gleamluridly。

  IfforthosetimesImustaskcharity,HaveInotanycharitytoge?

  Wethreeareonthecedar-shadowedlawn;

  Myfriendbeingthird。HewhoatloveoncelaughedIsintheweakribbyafatalshaftStruckthrough,andtellshispassion’sbashfuldawnAndradiantculmination,gloriouscrown,When’this’shesaid:went’thus’:mostwondrousshe。

  Oureyesgrowwhite,encountering:thatwearethree,Forgetful;thentogetherwelookdown。

  Buthedemandsourblessing;isconncedThatwordsofweddedloversmustbringgood。

  Wequestion;ifwedare!orifweshould!

  Andpathim,withlightlaugh。Wehavenotwinced。

  Next,shehasfallen。FaintingpointsthesignTohappythingsinwedlock。Whenshewakes,Shelooksthestarthatthro’thecedarshakes:

  Herlostmoisthandclingsmortallytomine。

  Whatmaythewomanlabourtoconfess?

  Thereisabouthermouthanervoustwitch。

  ’Tissomethingtobetold,orhidden:-which?

  Igetaglimpseofhellinthismildguess。

  Shehasdesiresoftouch,asiftofeelThatallthehouseholdthingsarethingssheknew。

  Shestopsbeforetheglass。Whatsightinew?

  Afacethatseemsthelatesttoreveal!

  Forsheturnsfromithastily,andtossedIrresolutestealsshadow-liketowhereIstand;andwaveringpalebeforemethere,Hertearsfallstillasoak-leavesafterfrost。

  Shewillnotspeak。Iwillnotask。WeareLeague-sunderedbythesilentgulfbetween。

  Youburlyloversonthellagegreen,Yoursisalower,andahappierstar!

  ’TisChristmasweather,andacountryhouseReceesus:roomsarefull:wecanbutgetAnattic-crib。SuchloverswillnotfretAtthat,itishalf-said。ThegreatcarouseKnocksharduponthemidnight’shollowdoor,ButwhenIknockathers,Iseethepit。

  WhydidIcomehereinthatdullardfit?

  Ienter,andliecoucheduponthefloor。

  Passing,Icaughtthecoverlet’squickbeat:-

  Come,Shame,burntomysoul!andPride,andPain-

  Fouldemonsthathavetorturedme,enchain!

  Outinthefreezingdarknessthelambsbleat。

  Thesmallbirdstiffensinthelowstarlight。

  Iknownothow,butshudderingasIslept,Idreamedabanishedangeltomecrept:

  Myfeetwerenourishedonherbreastsallnight。

  Themiseryisgreater,asIle!

  Toknowherfleshsopure,sokeenhersense,Thatshedoespenancenowfornooffence,SaveagainstLove。ThelesscanIforge!

  ThelesscanIforge,thoughIadoreThatcruellovelypallorwhichsurroundsHerfootsteps;andthelowbratingsoundsThatcomeonme,asfromamagicshore。

  Lowarethey,butmostsubtletofindoutTheshrinkingsoul。Madam,’tisunderstoodWhenwomenplayupontheirwomanhood,Itmeans,aSeasongone。AndyetIdoubtButIamduped。Thatnun-likelookwaylaysMyfancy。Oh!Idobutwaitasign!

  Pluckouttheeyesofpride!thymouthtomine!

  Never!thoughIdiethirsting。Gothyways!

  YoulikenotthatFrenchnovel?Tellmewhy。

  Youthinkitquiteunnatural。Letussee。

  Theactorsare,itseems,theusualthree:

  Husband,andwife,andlover。She——butfie!

  InEnglandwe’llnothearofit。Edmond,Thelover,herdevoutchagrindothshare;

  Blanc-mangeandabsinthearehispenitentfare,Tillhispaleaspectmakesherover-fond:

  So,toprecludefreshsin,hetriesrosbif。

  Meantimethehusbandisnomoreabused:

  Augusteforgeshererethetearisused。

  ThenhangethallononetremendousIF:-

  IFshewillchoosebetweenthem。Shedoeschoose;

  Andtakesherhusband,likeaproperwife。

  Unnatural?Mydear,thesethingsarelife:

  Andlife,somethink,isworthyoftheMuse。

  Loveerehebleeds,aneagleinhighskies,Hasearthbeneathhiswings:fromreddenedeveHeewstherosydawn。InvaintheyweaveThefatalwebbelowwhilefarheflies。

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