“OtherwisecalledPeggy，ladyofMajorMichaelO’Dowd，ofourregiment，anddaughterofFitzjurldBer’sforddeBurgoMalonyofGlenmalony，CountyKildare。”
“AndMuryanSqueer，Doblin。”saidtheladywithcalmsuperiority。
“AndMuryanSquare，sureenough。”theMajorwhispered。
“’Twasthereyecoortedme，Meejordear。”theladysaid；andtheMajorassentedtothisastoeveryotherpropositionwhichwasmadegenerallyincompany。
MajorO’Dowd，whohadservedhissovereignineveryquarteroftheworld，andhadpaidforeverystepinhisprofessionbysomemorethanequivalentactofdaringandgallantry，wasthemostmodest，silent，sheep-facedandmeekoflittlemen，andasobedienttohiswifeasifhehadbeenhertay-boy。Atthemess-tablehesatsilently，anddrankagreatdeal。Whenfullofliquor，hereeledsilentlyhome。Whenhespoke，itwastoagreewitheverybodyoneveryconceivablepoint；andhepassedthroughlifeinperfecteaseandgood-humour。ThehottestsunsofIndianeverheatedhistemper；andtheWalcherenaguenevershookit。Hewalkeduptoabatterywithjustasmuchindifferenceastoadinner-table；haddinedonhorse-fleshandturtlewithequalrelishandappetite；andhadanoldmother，Mrs。O’DowdofO’Dowdstownindeed，whomhehadneverdisobeyedbutwhenheranawayandenlisted，andwhenhepersistedinmarryingthatodiousPeggyMalony。
Peggywasoneoffivesisters，andelevenchildrenofthenoblehouseofGlenmalony；butherhusband，thoughherowncousin，wasofthemother’sside，andsohadnottheinestimableadvantageofbeingalliedtotheMalonys，whomshebelievedtobethemostfamousfamilyintheworld。HavingtriednineseasonsatDublinandtwoatBathandCheltenham，andnotfindingapartnerforlife，MissMalonyorderedhercousinMicktomarryherwhenshewasaboutthirty-threeyearsofage；andthehonestfellowobeying，carriedherofftotheWestIndies，topresideovertheladiesofthe——thregiment，intowhichhehadjustexchanged。
BeforeMrs。O’DowdwashalfanhourinAmelia’sorindeedinanybodyelse’scompany，thisamiableladytoldallherbirthandpedigreetohernewfriend。”Mydear。”
saidshe，good-naturedly，“itwasmyintentionthatGargeshouldbeabrotherofmyown，andmysisterGlorvinawouldhavesuitedhimentirely。Butasbygonesarebygones，andhewasengagedtoyourself，why，I’mdeterminedtotakeyouasasisterinstead，andtolookuponyouassuch，andtoloveyouasoneofthefamily。Faith，you’vegotsuchanicegood-naturedfaceandwaywidgyou，thatI’msurewe’llagree；andthatyou’llbeanadditiontoourfamilyanyway。”
“’Deedandshewill。”saidO’Dowd，withanapprovingair，andAmeliafeltherselfnotalittleamusedandgratefultobethussuddenlyintroducedtosolargeapartyofrelations。
“We’reallgoodfellowshere。”theMajor’sladycontinued。
“There’snotaregimentintheservicewhereyou’llfindamoreunitedsocietynoramoreagreeablemess-
room。There’snoquarrelling，bickering，slandthering，norsmalltalkamongstus。Weallloveeachother。”
“EspeciallyMrs。Magenis。”saidGeorge，laughing。
“Mrs。CaptainMagenisandmehasmadeup，thoughhertreatmentofmewouldbringmegrayhairswithsorrowtothegrave。”
“Andyouwithsuchabeautifulfrontofblack，Peggy，mydear。”theMajorcried。
“Houldyourtongue，Mick，youbooby。Themhusbandsarealwaysintheway，Mrs。Osborne，mydear；andasformyMick，Ioftentellhimheshouldneveropenhismouthbuttogivethewordofcommand，ortoputmeatanddrinkintoit。I’lltellyouabouttheregiment，andwarnyouwhenwe’realone。Introducemetoyourbrothernow；surehe’samightyfineman，andremindsmeofmecousin，DanMalonyMalonyofBallymalony，mydear，youknowwhomar’iedOphaliaScully，ofOystherstown，owncousintoLordPoldoody。Mr。Sedley，sir，I’mdeloightedtobemadeknownteye。Isupposeyou’lldineatthemessto-day。Mindthatdivvleofadocther，Mick，andwhateveryedu，keepyourselfsoberformepartythisevening。“
“It’sthe150thgivesusafarewelldinner，mylove。”
interposedtheMajor，“butwe’lleasygetacardforMr。
Sedley。”
“RunSimpleEnsignSimple，ofOurs，mydearAmelia。
Iforgottointrojuicehimtoye。Runinahurry，withMrs。MajorO’Dowd’scomplimentstoColonelTavish，andCaptainOsbornehasbroughthisbrothernlawdown，andwillbringhimtothe150thmessatfiveo’clocksharp——whenyouandI，mydear，willtakeasnackhere，ifyoulike。”BeforeMrs。O’Dowd’sspeechwasconcluded，theyoungEnsignwastrottingdownstairsonhiscommission。
“Obedienceisthesoulofthearmy。WewillgotoourdutywhileMrs。O’Dowdwillstayandenlightenyou，Emmy。”CaptainOsbornesaid；andthetwogentlemen，takingeachawingoftheMajor，walkedoutwiththatofficer，grinningateachotheroverhishead。
And，nowhavinghernewfriendtoherself，theimpetuousMrs：O’Dowdproceededtopouroutsuchaquantityofinformationasnopoorlittlewoman’smemorycouldevertaxitselftobear。ShetoldAmeliaathousandparticularsrelativetotheverynumerousfamilyofwhichtheamazedyoungladyfoundherselfamember。”Mrs。
Heavytop，theColonel’swife，diedinJamaicaoftheyellowfaverandabrokenheartcomboined，forthehorrudoldColonel，withaheadasbaldasacannon-ball，wasmakingsheep’seyesatahalf-castegirlthere。Mrs。
Magenis，thoughwithouteducation，wasagoodwoman，butshehadthedivvle’stongue，andwouldcheatherownmotheratwhist。Mrs。CaptainKirkmustturnupherlobstereyesforsoothattheideaofanhonestroundgamewhereinmefawther，aspiousamanaseverwenttochurch，meuncleDaneMalony，andourcousintheBishop，tookahandatloo，orwhist，everynightoftheirlives。Naytherof’em’sgoin’withtheregimentthistime。”
Mrs。O’Dowdadded。”FannyMagenisstopswithhermother，whosellssmallcoalandpotatoes，mostlikely，inIslington-town，hardbyLondon，thoughshe’salwaysbraggingofherfather’sships，andpointingthemouttousastheygouptheriver：andMrs。KirkandherchildrenwillstophereinBethesdaPlace，tobenightoherfavouritepreacher，Dr。Ramshorn。Mrs。Bunny’sinaninterestingsituation——faith，andshealwaysis，then——andhasgiventheLieutenantsevenalready。AndEnsignPosky’swife，whojoinedtwomonthsbeforeyou，mydear，hasquarl’dwithTomPoskyascoreoftimes，tillyoucanhear’malloverthebar’cktheysaythey’recometobrokenpleets，andTomneveraccountedforhisblackoi，andshe’llgobacktohermother，whokeepsaladies’
siminaryatRichmond——badlucktoherforrunningawayfromit！Wheredidyegetyourfinishing，mydear？Ihadmoin，andnoexpincespared，atMadameFlanahan’s，atIlyssusGrove，Booterstown，nearDublin，widaMarchionesstoteachusthetrueParisianpronunciation，andaretiredMejor-GeneraloftheFrenchservicetoputusthroughtheexercise。”
OfthisincongruousfamilyourastonishedAmeliafoundherselfallofasuddenamember：withMrs。O’Dowdasaneldersister。Shewaspresentedtoherotherfemalerelationsattea-time，onwhom，asshewasquiet，good-
natured，andnottoohandsome，shemaderatheranagreeableimpressionuntilthearrivalofthegentlemenfromthemessofthe150th，whoalladmiredherso，thathersistersbegan，ofcourse，tofindfaultwithher。
“IhopeOsbornehassownhiswildoats。”saidMrs。
MagenistoMrs。Bunny。”Ifareformedrakemakesagoodhusband，sureit’sshewillhavethefinechancewithGarge。”Mrs。O’DowdremarkedtoPosky，whohadlostherpositionasbrideintheregiment，andwasquiteangrywiththeusurper。AndasforMrs。Kirk：thatdiscipleofDr。RamshornputoneortwoleadingprofessionalquestionstoAmelia，toseewhethershewasawakened，whethershewasaprofessingChristianandsoforth，andfindingfromthesimplicityofMrs。Osborne’srepliesthatshewasyetinutterdarkness，putintoherhandsthreelittlepennybookswithpictures，viz。，the“HowlingWilderness。”the“WasherwomanofWandsworthCommon。”
andthe“BritishSoldier’sbestBayonet。”which，bentuponawakeningherbeforesheslept，Mrs。KirkbeggedAmeliatoreadthatnightereshewenttobed。
Butallthemen，likegoodfellowsastheywere，ralliedroundtheircomrade’sprettywife，andpaidhertheircourtwithsoldierlygallantry。Shehadalittletriumph，whichflushedherspiritsandmadehereyessparkle。
Georgewasproudofherpopularity，andpleasedwiththemannerwhichwasverygayandgraceful，thoughnaiveandalittletimidwithwhichshereceivedthegentlemen’sattentions，andansweredtheircompliments。Andheinhisuniform——howmuchhandsomerhewasthananymanintheroom！Shefeltthathewasaffectionatelywatchingher，andglowedwithpleasureathiskindness。”I
willmakeallhisfriendswelcome。”sheresolvedinherheart。”IwillloveallasIlovehim。Iwillalwaystryandbegayandgood-humouredandmakehishomehappy。”
Theregimentindeedadoptedherwithacclamation。
TheCaptainsapproved，theLieutenantsapplauded，theEnsignsadmired。OldCutler，theDoctor，madeoneortwojokes，which，beingprofessional，neednotberepeated；
andCackle，theAssistantM。D。ofEdinburgh，condescendedtoexamineheruponleeterature，andtriedherwithhisthreebestFrenchquotations。YoungStubblewentaboutfrommantomanwhispering，“Jove，isn’tsheaprettygal？”andnevertookhiseyesoffherexceptwhentheneguscamein。
AsforCaptainDobbin，heneversomuchasspoketoherduringthewholeevening。ButheandCaptainPorterofthel50thtookhomeJostothehotel，whowasinaverymaudlinstate，andhadtoldhistiger-huntstorywithgreateffect，bothatthemess-tableandatthesoiree，toMrs。O’Dowdinherturbanandbirdofparadise。HavingputtheCollectorintothehandsofhisservant，Dobbinloiteredabout，smokinghiscigarbeforetheinndoor。
Georgehadmeanwhileverycarefullyshawledhiswife，andbroughtherawayfromMrs。O’Dowd’safterageneralhandshakingfromtheyoungofficers，whoaccompaniedhertothefly，andcheeredthatvehicleasitdroveoff。SoAmeliagaveDobbinherlittlehandasshegotoutofthecarriage，andrebukedhimsmilinglyfornothavingtakenanynoticeofherallnight。
TheCaptaincontinuedthatdeleteriousamusementofsmoking，longaftertheinnandthestreetweregonetobed。HewatchedthelightsvanishfromGeorge’ssitting-
roomwindows，andshineoutinthebedroomcloseathand。Itwasalmostmorningwhenhereturnedtohisownquarters。Hecouldhearthecheeringfromtheshipsintheriver，wherethetransportswerealreadytakingintheircargoespreparatorytodroppingdowntheThames。
InWhichAmeliaInvadestheLowCountriesTheregimentwithitsofficerswastobetransportedinshipsprovidedbyHisMajesty’sgovernmentfortheoccasion：andintwodaysafterthefestiveassemblyatMrs。
O’Dowd’sapartments，inthemidstofcheeringfromalltheEastIndiashipsintheriver，andthemilitaryonshore，thebandplaying“GodSavetheKing。”theofficerswavingtheirhats，andthecrewshurrahinggallantly，thetransportswentdowntheriverandproceededunderconvoytoOstend。MeanwhilethegallantJoshadagreedtoescorthissisterandtheMajor’swife，thebulkofwhosegoodsandchattels，includingthefamousbirdofparadiseandturban，werewiththeregimentalbaggage：sothatourtwoheroinesdroveprettymuchunencumberedtoRamsgate，wheretherewereplentyofpacketsplying，inoneofwhichtheyhadaspeedypassagetoOstend。
ThatperiodofJos’slifewhichnowensuedwassofullofincident，thatitservedhimforconversationformanyyearsafter，andeventhetiger-huntstorywasputasideformorestirringnarrativeswhichhehadtotellaboutthegreatcampaignofWaterloo。Assoonashehadagreedtoescorthissisterabroad，itwasremarkedthatheceasedshavinghisupperlip。AtChathamhefollowedtheparadesanddrillswithgreatassiduity。Helistenedwiththeutmostattentiontotheconversationofhisbrotherofficersashecalledtheminafterdayssometimes，andlearnedasmanymilitarynamesashecould。
InthesestudiestheexcellentMrs。O’Dowdwasofgreatassistancetohim；andonthedayfinallywhentheyembarkedonboardtheLovelyRose，whichwastocarrythemtotheirdestination，hemadehisappearanceinabraidedfrock-coatandducktrousers，withaforagingcapornamentedwithasmartgoldband。Havinghiscarriagewithhim，andinformingeverybodyonboardconfidentiallythathewasgoingtojointheDukeofWellington’sarmy，folksmistookhimforagreatpersonage，acommissary-general，oragovernmentcourierattheveryleast。
Hesufferedhugelyonthevoyage，duringwhichtheladieswerelikewiseprostrate；butAmeliawasbroughttolifeagainasthepacketmadeOstend，bythesightofthetransportsconveyingherregiment，whichenteredtheharbouralmostatthesametimewiththeLovelyRose。
Joswentinacollapsedstatetoaninn，whileCaptainDobbinescortedtheladies，andthenbusiedhimselfinfreeingJos’scarriageandluggagefromtheshipandthecustom-house，forMr。Joswasatpresentwithoutaservant，Osborne’smanandhisownpamperedmenialhavingconspiredtogetheratChatham，andrefusedpoint-