第71章
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  Ididnotraisemyeyes,butIsupposemammalooked,foraclear,melodiousvoice,whosetonesthrilledthroughmynerves,exclaimed——

  `Oh,aunt!here’sMr。Markham——Arthur’sfriend!——Stop,Richard!’

  Therewassuchevidenceofjoyousthoughsuppressedexcitementintheutteranceofthosefewwords——especiallythattremulous,`Oh,aunt——’

  thatitthrewmealmostoffmyguard。Thecarriagestoppedimmediately,andIlookedupandmettheeyeofapale,grave,elderlyladysurveyingmefromtheopenwindow。ShebowedandsodidI,andthenshewithdrewherhead,whileArthurscreamedtothefootmantolethimout;butbeforethatfunctionarycoulddescendfromhisbox,ahandwassilentlyputforthfromthecarriagewindow。Iknewthathand,thoughablackgloveconcealeditsdelicatewhitenessandhalfitsfairproportions,andquicklyseizingit,Ipresseditinmyown——ardentlyforamoment,butinstantlyrecollectingmyself,Idroppedit,anditwasimmediatelywithdrawn。

  `Wereyoucomingtoseeus,oronlypassingby?’askedthelowvoiceofitsowner,who,Ifelt,wasattentivelysurveyingmycountenancefrombehindthethick,blackveilwhichwiththeshadowingpanels,entirelyconcealedherownfromme。

  `I——Icametoseetheplace,’falteredI。

  `Theplace,’repeatedshe,inatonewhichbetokenedmoredispleasureordisappointmentthansurprise。`Willyounotenteritthen?’

  `Ifyouwishit。’

  `Canyoudoubt?’

  `Yes,yes!hemustenter,’criedArthurrunningroundfromtheotherdoor;andseizingmyhandinbothhis,heshookitheartily。

  `Doyourememberme,sir?’saidhe。

  `Yes,fullwell,mylittleman,alteredthoughyouare,’repliedI,surveyingthecomparativelytall,slimyounggentlemanwithhismother’simagevisiblystampeduponhisfair,intelligentfeatures,inspiteoftheblueeyesbeamingwithgladness,andthebrightlocksclusteringbeneathhiscap。

  `AmInotgrown?’saidhe,stretchinghimselfuptohisfullheight。

  `Grown!threeinchesuponmyword!’

  `Iwassevenlastbirthday,’wastheproudrejoinder。`Insevenyearsmore,Ishallbeastallasyou,nearly。’

  `Arthur,’saidhismother,`tellhimtocomein。GoonRichard。’

  Therewasatouchofsadnessaswellascoldnessinhervoice,butIknewnottowhattoascribeit。Thecarriagedroveonandenteredthegatesbeforeus。Mylittlecompanionledmeupthepark,discoursingmerrilyalltheway。ArrivedattheHalldoor,Ipausedonthestepsandlookedroundme,waitingtorecovermycomposure,ifpossible——oratanyrate,toremembermynew-formedresolutionsandtheprinciplesonwhichtheywerefounded;anditwasnottillArthurhadbeenforsometimegentlypullingmycoat,andrepeatinghisinvitationstoenter,thatIatlengthconsentedtoaccompanyhimintotheapartmentwheretheladiesawaitedus。

  HeleneyedmeasIenteredwithakindofgentle,seriousscrutinyandpolitelyaskedafterMrs。MarkhamandRose。Irespectfullyansweredherenquiries。Mrs。Maxwellbeggedmetobeseated,observingitwasrathercold,butshesupposedIhadnottravelledfarthatmorning。

  `Notquitetwentymiles,’Ianswered。

  `Notonfoot!’

  `No,Madam,bycoach。’

  `Here’sRachel,sir,’saidArthur,theonlytrulyhappyoneamongstus,directingmyattentiontothatworthyindividual,whohadjustenteredtotakehermistress’sthings。Shevouchsafedmeanalmostfriendlysmileofrecognitionsfavourthatdemanded,atleast,acivilsalutationonmypart,whichwasaccordinglygivenandrespectivelyreturned——shehadseentheerrorofherformerestimationofmycharacter。

  WhenHelenwasdivestedofherlugubriousbonnetandveil,herheavywintercloak&c。shelookedsolikeherselfthatIknewnothowtobearit。Iwasparticularlygladtoseeherbeautifulblackhairunstintedstillandunconcealedinitsglossyluxuriance。

  `Mammahasleftoffherwidow’scapinhonourofuncle’smarriage,’

  observedArthur,readingmylookswithachild’smingledsimplicityandquicknessofobservation。MammalookedgraveandMrs。Maxwellshookherhead。`AndauntMaxwellisnevergoingtoleaveoffhers,’persistedthenaughtyboy;butwhenhesawthathispertnesswasseriouslydispleasingandpainfultohisaunt,hewentandsilentlyputhisarmroundherneck,kissedhercheek,andwithdrewtotherecessofoneofthegreatbaywindows,wherehequietlyamusedhimselfwithhisdogwhileMrs。Maxwellgravelydiscussedwithmetheinterestingtopicsoftheweather,theseason,andtheroads。Iconsideredherpresenceveryusefulasacheckuponmynaturalimpulses——anantidotetothoseemotionsoftumultuousexcitementwhichwouldotherwisehavecarriedmeawayagainstmyreasonandmywill,butjustthenIfelttherestraintalmostintolerable,andIhadthegreatestdifficultyinforcingmyselftoattendtoherremarksandanswerthemwithordinarypoliteness;forIwassensiblethatHelenwasstandingwithinafewfeetofmebesidethefire。Idarednotlookather,butIfelthereyewasuponme,andfromonehasty,furtiveglance,Ithoughthercheekwasslightlyflushed,andthatherfingers,assheplayedwithherwatchchain,wereagitatedwiththatrestless,tremblingmotionwhichbetokenshighexcitement。

  `Tellme,’saidshe,availingherselfofthefirstpauseintheattemptedconversationbetweenherauntandme,andspeakingfastandlowwithhereyesbentonthegoldchain——forInowventuredanotherglance——`TellmehowyouallareatLindenhope?——hasnothinghappenedsinceIleftyou?’

  `Ibelievenot。’

  `Nobodydead?nobodymarried?’

  `No。’

  `Or——orexpectingtomarry?——Nooldtiesdissolvedornewonesformed?nooldfriendsforgottenorsupplanted?’

  Shedroppedhervoicesolowinthelastsentencethatnoonecouldhavecaughttheconcludingwordsbutmyself,andatthesametimeturnedhereyesuponmewithadawningsmile,mostsweetlymelancholy,andalookoftimidthoughkeenenquirythatmademycheekstinglewithinexpressibleemotions。

  `Ibelievenot,’Ianswered——`Certainlynot,ifothersareaslittlechangedasI。’Herfaceglowedinsympathywithmine。

  `Andyoureallydidnotmeantocall?’sheexclaimed。

  `Ifearedtointrude。’

  `Tointrude!’criedshewithanimpatientgesture——`What’——butasifsuddenlyrecollectingheraunt’spresence,shecheckedherselfandturningtothatladycontinued——`Whyaunt,thismanismybrother’sclosefriendandwasmyownintimateacquaintanceforafewshortmonthsatleast,andprofessedagreatattachmenttomyboy——andwhenhepassesthehouse,somanyscoresofmilesfromhishome,hedeclinestolookinforfearofintruding!’

  `Mr。Markhamisovermodest,’observedMrs。Maxwell。

  `Overceremoniousrather,’saidherniece——`over——well,it’snomatter。’Andturningfromme,sheseatedherselfinachairbesidethetable,andpullingabooktoherbythecover,begantoturnovertheleavesinanenergetickindofabstraction。

  `IfIhadknown,’saidI,`thatyouwouldhavehonouredmebyrememberingmeasanintimateacquaintance,Imostlikelyshouldnothavedeniedmyselfthepleasureofcallinguponyou,butIthoughtyouhadforgottenmelongago。’

  `Youjudgedofothersbyyourself,’mutteredshewithoutraisinghereyesfromthebook,butreddeningasshespokeandhastilyturningoveradozenleavesatonce。

  TherewasapauseofwhichArthurthoughthemightventuretoavailhimselftointroducehishandsomeyoungsetterandshowmehowwonderfullyitwasgrownandimproved,andtoaskafterthewelfareofitsfatherSancho。

  Mrs。Maxwellthenwithdrewtotakeoffherthings。Helenimmediatelypushedthebookfromherandaftersilentlysurveyingherson,hisfriend,andhisdogforafewmoments,shedismissedtheformerfromtheroomunderpretenceofwishinghimtofetchhislastnewbooktoshewme。Thechildobeyedwithalacrity;butIcontinuedcaressingthedog。Thesilencemighthavelastedtillitsmaster’sreturnhaditdependedonmetobreakit,but,inhalfaminuteorless,myhostessimpatientlyrose,andtakingherformerstationontherugbetweenmeandthechimneycorner,earnestlyexclaimed——

  `Gilbert,whatisthematterwithyou?——whyareyousochanged?——ItisaveryindiscreetquestionIknow,’shehastenedtoadd:`perhaps,averyrudeone——don’tansweritifyouthinkso——outIhatemysteriesandconcealments。’

  `Iamnotchanged——Helen——unfortunatelyIamaskeenandpassionateasever——itisnotI,itiscircumstancesthatarechanged。’

  `Whatcircumstances?Dotellme!’Hercheekwasblanchedwiththeveryanguishofanxiety——coulditbewiththefearthatIhadrashlypledgedmyfaithtoanother?

  `I’lltellyouatonce,’saidI。`IwillconfessthatIcamehereforthepurposeofseeingyounotwithoutsomemonitorymisgivingsatmyownpresumption,andfearsthatIshouldbeaslittlewelcomeasexpectedwhenIcame,butIdidnotknowthatthisestatewasyours,untilenlightenedonthesubjectofyourinheritancebytheconversationoftwofellowpassengersinthelaststageofmyjourney;andthen,IsawatoncethefollyofthehopesIhadcherishedandthemadnessofretainingthemamomentlonger;

  andthoughIalightedatyourgates,Ideterminednottoenterwithinthem;

  Ilingeredafewminutestoseetheplace,butwasfullyresolvedtoreturntoM——withoutseeingitsmistress。’

  `AndifmyauntandIhadnotbeenjustreturningfromourmorningdrive,Ishouldhaveseenandheardnomoreofyou?’

  `Ithoughtitwouldbebetterforboththatweshouldnotmeet,’

  repliedIascalmlyasIcould,butnotdaringtospeakabovemybreathfromconsciousinabilitytosteadymyvoice,andnotdaringtolookinherfacelestmyfirmnessshouldforsakemealtogether:`Ithoughtaninterviewwouldonlydisturbyourpeaceandmaddenme。ButIamglad,now,ofthisopportunityofseeingyouoncemoreandknowingthatyouhavenotforgottenme,andofassuringyouthatIshallneverceasetorememberyou。’

  Therewasamoment’spause。Mrs。Huntingdonmovedaway,andstoodintherecessofthewindow。Didsheregardthisasanintimationthatmodestyalonepreventedmefromaskingherhand?andwassheconsideringhowtorepulsemewiththesmallestinjurytomyfeelings?BeforeIcouldspeaktorelieveherfromsuchaperplexity,shebrokethesilenceherselfbysuddenlyturningtowardsmeandobserving`Youmighthavehadsuchanopportunitybefore——asfarImeanasregardsassuringmeofyourkindlyrecollections,andyourselfofmine,ifyouhadwrittentome。’

  `Iwouldhavedoneso,butIdidnotknowyouraddress,anddidnotliketoaskyourbrother,becauseIthoughthewouldobjecttomywriting——butthiswouldnothavedeterredmeforamoment,ifIcouldhaveventuredtobelievethatyouexpectedtohearfromme,orevenwastedathoughtuponyourunhappyfriend;butyoursilencenaturallyledmetoconcludemyselfforgotten。

  `Didyouexpectmetowritetoyouthen?’

  `No,Helen——Mrs。Huntingdon,’saidI,blushingattheimpliedimputation,`certainlynot;butifyouhadsentmeamessagethroughyourbrother,orevenaskedhimaboutmenowandthen——’

  `Ididaskaboutyou,frequently。Iwasnotgoingtodomore,’

  continuedshe,smiling,`solongasyoucontinuedtorestrictyourselftoafewpoliteenquiriesaboutmyhealth。’

  `Yourbrothernevertoldmethatyouhadmentionedmyname。

  `Didyoueveraskhim?’

  `No;forIsawhedidnotwishtobequestionedaboutyou,ortoaffordtheslightestencouragementorassistancetomytooobstinateattachment。’Helendidnotreply。`Andhewasperfectlyright,’addedI。

  Butsheremainedinsilencelookingoutuponthesnowylawn。`Oh,Iwillrelieveherofmypresence!’thoughtI;andimmediatelyIroseandadvancedtotakeleave,withamostheroicresolution——butpridewasatthebottomofit,oritcouldnothavecarriedmethrough。

  `Areyougoingalready?’saidshe,takingthehandIoffered,andnotimmediatelylettingitgo。

  `WhyshouldIstayanylonger?’

  `WaittillArthurcomes,atleast。’

  Onlytoogladtoobey,Istoodandleantagainsttheoppositesideofthewindow。

  `Youtoldmeyouwerenotchanged,’saidmycompanion:youare——verymuchso。’

  `No,Mrs。Huntingdon,Ionlyoughttobe。’

  `Doyoumeantomaintainthatyouhavethesameregardformethatyouhadwhenlastwemet?’

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