第70章
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  AndthenhediscourseduponhispresentpositionasostlerattheRoseandCrown,andhowgreatlysuperioritwastohisformerone,incomfortandfreedom,thoughinferiorinoutwardrespectability;andenteredintovariousdetailsrespectingthedomesticeconomyattheGrove,andthecharactersofMrs。Hargraveandherson,——towhichIgavenoheed,beingtoomuchoccupiedwithmyownanxious,flutteringanticipationsandwiththecharacterofthecountrythroughwhichwepassed,that,inspiteoftheleaflesstreesandsnowyground,hadforsometimebeguntomanifestunequivocalsignsoftheapproachtoagentleman’scountryseat。`Arewenotnearthehouse?’saidI,interruptinghiminthemiddleofhisdiscourse。`Yes,sir;yond’sthepark。’Myheartsankwithinmetobeholdthatstatelymansioninthemidstofitsexpansivegrounds-heparkasbeautifulnow,initswintrygarb,asitcouldbeinitssummerglory;themajesticsweep,theundulatingswellandfall,displayedtofulladvantageinthatrobeofdazzlingpurity,stainlessandprintless——saveonelong,windingtrackleftbythetroopingdeer——thestatelytimber-treeswiththeirheavyladenbranchesgleamingwhiteagainstthedull,greysky;thedeep,encirclingwoods;thebroadexpanseofwatersleepinginfrozenquiet;andtheweepingashandwillowdroopingtheirsnowcladboughsaboveit——allpresentedapicture,striking,indeed,andpleasingtoanunencumberedmind,butbynomeansencouragingtome。Therewasonecomforthowever,-allthiswasentaileduponlittleArthur,andcouldnotunderanycircumstances,strictlyspeaking,behismother’s。Buthowwasshesituated?Overcomingwithasuddeneffortmyrepugnancetomentionhernametomygarrulouscompanion,Iaskedhimifheknewwhetherherlatehusbandhadleftawill,andhowthepropertyhadbeendisposedof。Oh,yes,heknewallaboutit;andI

  wasquicklyinformedthattoherhadbeenleftthefullcontrolandmanagementoftheestateduringherson’sminority,besidestheabsolute,unconditionalpossessionofherownfortunebutIknewherfatherhadnotgivenhermuch,andthesmalladditionalsumthathadbeensettleduponherbeforemarriage。

  Beforethecloseoftheexplanation,wedrewupattheparkgates。

  Nowforthetrial——ifIshouldfindherwithin——butalas!shemightbestillatStaningley:herbrotherhadgivenmenointimationtothecontrary。

  Ienquiredattheporter’slodgeifMrs。Huntingdonwereathome。No,shewaswithherauntin——hire,butwasexpectedtoreturnbeforeChristmas。

  SheusuallyspentmostofhertimeatStaningley,onlycomingtoGrassdaleoccasionally,whenthemanagementofaffairs,ortheinterestofhertenantsanddependantsrequiredherpresence。

  `NearwhattownisStaningleysituated?’Iasked。Therequisiteinformationwassoonobtained。`Nowthen,myman,givemethereins,andwe’llreturntoM。ImusthavesomebreakfastattheRoseandCrown,andthenawaytoStaningleybythefirstcoachfor——“

  `You’llnotgetthereto-day,sir。’

  `Nomatter,Idon’twanttogetthereto-day;Iwanttogetthereto-morrow,andpassthenightontheroad。’

  `Ataninn,sir?You’dbetterbyhalfstayatourhouse;

  andthenstartfreshto-morrow,andhavethewholedayforyourjourney。’

  `What,andlosetwelvehours?notI。’

  `Perhaps,sir,you’rerelatedtoMrs。Huntingdon?’saidhe,seekingtoindulgehiscuriositysincehiscupiditywasnottobegratified。

  `Ihavenotthathonour。’

  `Ah!well,’returnedhewithadubious,sidelongglanceatmysplashed,greytrousersandroughPjacket。`But,’headded,encouragingly,`there’smanyafineladylikethat`athaskinsfolkspoorernorwhatyouare,sir,Ishouldthink。’

  `Nodoubt,——andthere’smanyafinegentlemanwouldesteemhimselfvastlyhonouredtobeabletoclaimkindredwiththeladyyoumention。’

  Henowcunninglyglancedatmyface。`Perhaps,sir,youmeanto——’

  Iguessedwhatwascoming,andcheckedtheimpertinentconjecturewith,——`Perhapsyou’llbesogoodastobequietamoment。I’mbusy。

  `Busy,sir?’

  `Yes,inmymind,anddon’twanttohavemycogitationsdisturbed。’

  `Indeed,sir!’

  Youwillseethatmydisappointmenthadnotverygreatlyaffectedme,orIshouldnothavebeenablesoquietlytobearwiththefellow’simpertinence。ThefactisIthoughtitaswell——naybetter,allthingsconsidered,thatIshouldnotseeherto-day,——thatIshouldhavetimetocomposemymindfortheinterview——toprepareitforaheavierdisappointment,aftertheintoxicatingdelightexperiencedbythissuddenremovalofmyformerapprehensions;nottomentionthat,aftertravellinganightandadaywithoutintermission,andrushinginhothastethroughsixmilesofnew-fallensnow,Icouldnotpossiblybeinaverypresentablecondition。

  AtM——Ihadtimebeforethecoachstartedtoreplenishmyforceswithaheartybreakfast,andtoobtaintherefreshmentofmyusualmorning’sablutions,andtheameliorationofsomeslightchangeinmytoilet,——andalsotodispatchashortnotetomymotherexcellentsonthatIwastoassureherthatIwasstillinexistenceandtoexcusemynonappearanceattheexpectedtime。ItwasalongjourneytoStaningleyforthoseslowtravellingdays;butIdidnotdenymyselfneedfulrefreshmentontheroad,norevenanight’srestataway-sideinn;choosingrathertobrookalittledelaythantopresentmyselfworn,wild,andweatherbeatenbeforemymistressandheraunt,whowouldbeastonishedenoughtoseemewithoutthat。Nextmorning,therefore,Inotonlyfortifiedmyselfwithassubstantialabreakfastasmyexcitedfeelingswouldallowmetoswallow,butIbestowedalittlemorethanusualtimeandcareuponmytoilet;and,furnishedwithachangeoflinenfrommysmallcarpet-bag,wellbrushedclothes,wellpolishedboots,andneatnewgloves,——Imounted`theLightning,’andresumedmyjourney。Ihadnearlytwostagesyetbeforeme,butthecoach,Iwasinformed,passedthroughtheneighbourhoodofStaningley,and,havingdesiredtobesetdownasneartheHallaspossible,Ihadnothingtodobuttositwithfoldedarmsandspeculateuponthecominghour。

  Itwasaclear,frostymorning。Theveryfactofsittingexaltedaloft,surveyingthesnowylandscapeandsweet,sunnysky,inhalingthepure,bracingair,andcrunchingawayoverthecrisp,frozensnow,wasexhilaratingenoughinitself,butaddtothistheideaoftowhatgoalIwashastening,andwhomIexpectedtomeet,andyoumayhavesomefaintconceptionofmyframeofmindatthetime——onlyafaintonethough,formyheartswelledwithunspeakabledelight,andmyspiritsrosealmosttomadness——inspiteofmyprudentendeavourstobindthemdowntoareasonableplatitude’bythinkingoftheundeniabledifferencebetweenHelen’srankandmine;ofallthatshehadpassedthroughsinceourparting;ofherlong,unbrokensilence;and,aboveall,ofhercool,cautiousaunt,whosecounselsshewoulddoubtlessbecarefulnottoslightagain。Theseconsiderationsmademyheartflutterwithanxiety,andmychestheavewithimpatiencetogetthecrisisover,buttheycouldnotdimherimageinmymind,ormarthevividrecollectionofwhathadbeensaidandfeltbetweenus——ordestroythekeenanticipationofwhatwastobe——infact,Icouldnotrealizetheirterrorsnow。Towardsthecloseofthejourney,however,acoupleofmyfellowpassengerskindlycametomyassistance,andbroughtmelowenough。

  `Finelandthis,’saidoneofthem,pointingwithhisumbrellatothewidefieldsontheright,conspicuousfortheircompacthedgerows,deep,well-cutditches,andfinetimber-trees,growingsometimesontheborders,sometimesinthemidstoftheenclosure;——`veryfineland,ifyousawitinthesummerorspring。’

  `Ay,’respondedtheothersgruffelderlyman,withadrabgreatcoatbuttoneduptothechinandacottonumbrellabetweenhisknees。`It’soldMaxwell’sIsuppose。’

  `Itwashis,sir,buthe’sdeadnow,you’reaware,andhasleftitalltohisniece。’

  `All!’

  `Everyroodofit,——andthemansion-houseandall,——everyhatomofhisworldlygoods!——exceptjustatrifle,bywayofremembrancetohisnephewdowninhireandanannuitytohiswife。’

  `It’sstrange,sir!’

  `Itissir。Andshewasn’thisownnieceneither;buthehadnonearrelationsofhisown——nonebutanephewhe’dquarrelledwith——andhealwayshadapartialityforthisone。Andthenhiswifeadvisedhimtoit,theysay:she’dbroughtmostoftheproperty,anditwasherwishthatthisladyshouldhaveit。’

  `Humph!——She’llbeafinecatchforsomebody。’

  `Shewillso。She’sawidow,butquiteyoungyet,anduncommonhandsomefortuneofherown,besides,andonlyonechild——andshe’snursingafineestateforhimin-There’llbelotstospeakforher!——’fraidthere’snochanceforuz’-facetiouslyjoggingmewithhiselbow,aswellashiscompanion——`ha,ha,ha!Nooffence,sir,Ihope?’tome`Ahem!——I

  shouldthinkshe’llmarrynonebutanobleman,myself。Lookyesir,’resumedhe,turningtohisotherneighbour,andpointingpastmewithhisumbrella,`that’stheHall——grandpark,yousee——andallthemwoods——plentyoftimberthere,andlotsofgame——hallo!whatnow?’

  Thisexclamationwasoccasionedbythesuddenstopofthecoachattheparkgates。

  `Gen’lemanforStaningleyHall?’criedthecoachman;andIroseandthrewmycarpet-bagontotheground,preparatorytodroppingmyselfdownafterit。

  `Sickly,sir?’askedmytalkativeneighbour,staringmeinthefaceIdaresayitwaswhiteenough。

  `No。Here,coachman。’

  `Thank’ee,sir——Allright!’

  Thecoachmanpocketedhisfeeanddroveaway,leavingmenotwalkingupthepark,butpacingtoandfrobeforeitsgates,withfoldedarmsandeyesfixedupontheground——inoverwhelmingforceofimages,thoughts,impressionscrowdingonmymind,andnothingtangiblydistinctbutthis:——Mylovehadbeencherishedinvain;myhopewasgoneforever;Imusttearmyselfawayatonce,andbanishorsuppressallthoughtsofherliketheremembranceofawild,maddream。GladlywouldIhavelingeredroundtheplaceforhours,inthehopeofcatching,atleastonedistantglimpseofherbeforeIwent,butitmustnotbe:Imustnotsufferhertoseeme;forwhatcouldhavebroughtmehitherbutthehopeofrevivingherattachment,withaview,hereaftertoobtainherhand?AndcouldIbearthatsheshouldthinkmecapableofsuchathing?——ofpresumingupontheacquaintance——theloveifyouwill——accidentallycontracted,orratherforceduponheragainstherwill,whenshewasanunknownfugitive,toilingforherownsupport,apparentlywithoutfortune,familyorconnections——tocomeuponhernow,whenshewasre-instatedinherpropersphere,andclaimashareinherprosperity,which,haditneverfailedher,wouldmostcertainlyhavekeptherunknowntomeforever?andthistoo,whenwehadpartedsixteenmonthsago,andshehadexpresslyforbiddenmetohopeforare-unioninthisworld——andneversentmealineoramessagefromthatdaytothis?

  No!Theveryideawasintolerable。

  Andevenifsheshouldhavealingeringaffectionformestill,oughtItodisturbherpeacebyawakeningthosefeelings?tosubjecthertothestrugglesofconflictingdutyandinclination——towhichsoeversidethelattermightallure,ortheformerimperativelycallher——whethersheshoulddeemitherdutytorisktheslightsandcensuresoftheworld,thesorrowanddispleasureofthosesheloved,foraromanticideaoftruthandconstancytome,ortosacrificeherindividualwishestothefeelingsofherfriendsandherownsenseofprudenceandthefitnessofthings?

  No——andIwouldnot!Iwouldgoatonce,andsheshouldneverknowthatIhadapproachedtheplaceofherabode;forthoughImightdisclaimallideaofeveraspiringtoherhand,orevenofsolicitingaplaceinherfriendlyregard,herpeaceshouldnotbebrokenbymypresence,norherheartafflictedbythesightofmyfidelity。

  `Adieuthen,dearHelen,forever!——Foreveradieu!’

  SosaidI——andyetIcouldnottearmyselfaway。Imovedafewpaces,andthenlookedback,foronelastviewofherstatelyhome,thatImighthaveitsoutwardform,atleastimpresseduponmymindasindeliblyasherownimage,whichalas!Imustnotseeagain——then,walkedafewstepsfarther;andthenlostinmelancholymusings,pausedagainandleantmybackagainstarougholdtreethatgrewbesidetheroad。

  TheTenantofWildfellHall:Chapter53CHAPTERLIIICONCLUSIONWhilestandingthus,absorbedinmygloomyreverie,agentleman’scarriagecameroundthecorneroftheroad。Ididnotlookatit;andhaditrolledquietlybyme,Ishouldnothaverememberedthefactofitsappearanceatall;butatinyvoicefromwithinitrousedmebyexclaiming——

  `Mamma,mamma,here’sMr。Markham!’

  Ididnothearthereply,butpresentlythesamevoiceanswered——

  `Itisindeed,mamma——lookforyourself。’

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