discoveraretobedepictedtomeethiseye，orstoredinmymemorytobetoldhimatsomefutureperiod。This，atleast，isthehopethatIcherish，thefancythatlightsmeonmylonelyway。Itmaybeonlyanignisfatuus，afterall，butitcandonoharmtofollowitwithmyeyesandrejoiceinitslustre，aslongasitdoesnotluremefromthepathIoughttokeep；andIthinkitwillnot，forIhavethoughtdeeplyonmyaunt’sadvice，andIseeclearly，now，thefollyofthrowingmyselfawayononethatisunworthyofalltheloveIhavetogive，andincapableofrespondingtothebestanddeepestfeelingsofmyinmostheart——soclearlythatevenifIshouldseehimagain，andifheshouldremembermeandlovemestillwhich，alas！istoolittleprobable，consideringhowheissituated，andbywhomsurrounded，andifheshouldaskmetomarryhim，——IamdeterminednottoconsentuntilIknowforcertainwhethermyaunt’sopinionofhimormineisnearestthetruth；forifmineisaltogetherwrong，itisnothethatIlove；itisacreatureofmyownimagination。ButIthinkitisnotwrong——no，no——thereisasecretsomething——aninwardinstinctthatassuresmeIamright。Thereisessentialgoodnessinhim；——andwhatdelighttounfoldit！Ifhehaswandered，whatblisstorecallhim！Ifheisnowexposedtothebanefulinfluenceofcorruptingandwickedcompanions，whatglorytodeliverhimfromthem！——Oh！ifIcouldbutbelievethatHeavenhasdesignedmeforthis！
To-dayisthefirstofSeptember；butmyunclehasorderedthegamekeepertosparethepartridgestillthegentlemencome。`Whatgentlemen？’
Iasked，whenIheardit——asmallpartyhehadinvitedtoshoot。HisfriendMrWilmotwasone，andmyaunt’sfriendMrBoarhamanother。Thisstruckmeasterriblenews，atthemoment，butallregretandapprehensionvanishedlikeadreamwhenIheardthatMrHuntingdonwasactuallytobeathird！
Myauntisgreatlyagainsthiscoming，ofcourse：sheearnestlyendeavouredtodissuademyunclefromaskinghim；buthe，laughingatherobjections，toldheritwasnousetalkingforthemischiefwasalreadydone：hehadinvitedHuntingdonandhisfriendLordLowboroughbeforeweleftLondon，andnothingnowremainedbuttothedayfortheircoming。Soheissafe，andIamsureofseeinghim。Icannotexpressmyjoy——Ifinditverydifficulttoconcealitfrommyaunt；butIdon’twishtotroubleherwithmyfeelingstillIknowwhetherIoughttoindulgethemornot。IfIfinditmyabsolutedutytosuppressthem，theyshalltroublenoonebutmyself；andifIcanreallyfeelmyselfjustifiedinindulgingthisattachment，Icandareanything，eventheangerandgriefofmybestfriend，foritsobject——surely，Ishallsoonknow。Buttheyarenotcomingtillaboutthemiddleofthemonth。
Wearetohavetwoladyvisitorsalso：MrWilmotistobringhisnieceandhercousinMilicent。Isupposemyauntthinksthelatterwillbenefitmebyhersocietyandthesalutaryexampleofhergentledeportment，andlowlyandtractablespirit；andtheformer，Isuspect，sheintendsasaspeciesofcounter-attractiontowinMrHuntingdon’sattentionfromme。Idon’tthankherforthis；butIshallbegladofMilicent’scompany：
sheisasweet，goodgirl，andIwishIwerelikeher——morelikeher，atleast，thanIam。
19th。Theyarecome。Theycamethedaybeforeyesterday。Thegentlemenareallgoneouttoshoot，andtheladiesarewithmyaunt，atwork，inthedrawing-room。Ihaveretiredtothelibrary，forIamveryunhappy，andIwanttobealone。Bookscannotdivertme；sohavingopenedmydesk，Iwilltrywhatmaybedonebydetainingthecauseofmyuneasiness。ThispaperwillserveinsteadofaconfidentialfriendintowhoseearImightpourforththeoverflowingsofmyheart。Itwillnotsympathizewithmybutthenitwillnotlaughatthem，and，ifIkeepitclose，itCannottellagain；soitis，perhaps，thebestfriendIcouldhaveforthepurpose。
First，letmespeakofhisarrival——howIsatatmywindowandwatchedfornearlytwohours，beforehiscarriageenteredtheparkgates——fortheyallcamebeforehim，——andhowdeeplyIwasdisappointedateveryarrival，becauseitwasnothis。FirstcameMrWilmotandtheladies。WhenMilicenthadgotintoherroom，Iquittedmypostafewminutes，tolookinuponherandhavealittleprivateconversation，forshewasnowmyintimatefriend，severallongepistleshavingpassedbetweenussinceourparting。
Onreturningtomywindow，Ibeheldanothercarriageatthedoor。Wasithis？No；itwasMrBoarham’splain，darkchariot；andtherestoodheuponthesteps，carefullysuperintendingthedislodgingofhisvariousboxesandpackages。Whatacollection！onewouldhavethoughtheprojectedavisitofsixmonthsatleast。Aconsiderabletimeafter，cameLordLowboroughinhisbarouche。Isheoneoftheprofligatefriends，Iwonder？Ishouldthinknot；fornoonecouldcallhimajollycompanion，I’msure，——andbesides，heappearstoosoberandgentlemanlyinhisdemeanourtomeritsuchsuspicions。Heisatall，thin，gloomy-lookingman，apparentlybetweenthirtyandforty，andofasomewhatsickly，cardwornaspect。
Atlast，MrHuntingdon’slightphaetoncamebowlingmerrilyupthelawn，Ihadbutatransientglimpseofhim，forthemomentitstopped，hesprangoutoverthesideontotheporticosteps，anddisappearedintothehouse。
Inowsubmittedtobedressedfordinner——adutywhichRachelhadbeenurginguponmeforthelasttwentyminutes；andwhenthatimportantbusinesswascompleted，IrepairedtothedrawingroomwhereIfoundMrandMissWilmot，andMilicentHargravealreadyassembled。Shortlyafter，LordLowboroughentered，andthenMrBoarham，whoseemedquitewillingtoforgetandforgivemyformerconduct，andtohopethatalittleconciliationandsteadyperseveranceonhispartmightyetsucceedinbringingmetoreason。WhileIstoodatthewindow，conversingwithMilicent，hecameuptome，andwasbeginningtotalkinnearlyhisusualstrain，whenMrHuntingdonenteredtheroom。
`Howwillhegreetme，Iwonder？’saidmyboundingheart；andinsteadofadvancingtomeethim，Iturnedtothewindowtohideorsubduemyemotion。Buthavingsalutedhishostandhostess，andtherestofthecompany，hecametome，ardentlysqueezedmyhand，andmurmuredbewasgladtoseemeonceagain。Atthatmomentdinnerwasannounced，myauntdesiredhimtotakeMissHargraveintothedining-room，andodiousMrWilmot，withunspeakablegrimaces，offeredhisarmtome；andIwascondemnedtositbetweenhimselfandMrBoarham。Butafterwards，whenwewereallagainassembledinthedrawing-room，IwasindemnifiedforsomuchsufferingbyafewdelightfulminutesofconversationwithMrHuntingdon。
Inthecourseoftheevening，MissWilmotwascalledupontosingandplayfortheamusementofthecompany，andItoexhibitmydrawings，and，thoughhelikesmusic，andsheisanaccomplishedmusician，IthinkIamrightinaffirmingthathepaidmoreattentiontomydrawingsthantohermusic。
Sofar，sogood；——but，hearinghimpronounce，sottovoce，butwithparemphasisconcerningoneofthepieces，`Thisisbetterthanall！’——Ilookedup，curioustoseewhichitwas，and，tomyhorror，beheldhimcomplacentlygazingatthebackofthepicture——ItwashisownfacethatIhadsketchedthereandforgottentorubout！Tomakemattersworse，intheagonyofthemoment，Iattemptedtosnatchitfromhishand；——buthepreventedme，andexclaiming，`No——byGeorge，I’llkeepit！’placeditagainsthiswaistcoat，andbuttonedhiscoatuponitwithadelightedchuckle。
Then，drawingacandleclosetohiselbow，hegatheredallthedrawingstohimself，aswellwhathehadseenastheothers，andmuttering，`Imustlookatbothsidesnow，’heeagerlycommencedanexaminationwhichIwatched，atfr>t，withtolerablecomposure，intheconfidencethathisvanitywouldnotbegratifiedbyanyfurtherdiscoveries；for，thoughImustpleadguiltytohavingdisfiguredthebacksofseveralwithabortiveattemptstodelineatethattoofascinatingphysiognomy，Iwassurethat，withthatoneunfortunateexception，Ihadcarefullyobliteratedallsuchwitnessesofmyinfatuation。Butthepencilfrequentlyleavesanimpressionuponcardboardthatnoamountofrubbingcanefface。Such，itseems，wasthecasewithmostofthese；andIconfessItrembledwhenIsawhimholdingthemsoclosetothecandle，andporingsointentlyovertheseemingblanks；
butstillItrustedhewouldnotbeabletomakeoutthesedimtracestohisownsatisfaction。Iwasmistaken，however——havingendedhisscrutiny，liequietlyremarked，——
`Iperceive，thebacksofyoungladies’drawings，likethepostscriptsoftheirletters，arethemostimportantandinterestingpartoftheconcern。’
Then，leaningbackinhischair，hereflectedafewminutesinsilence，complacentlysmilingtohimself，and，whileIwasconcoctingsomecuttingspeechwherewithtocheckhisgratification，herose，andpassingovertowhereAnnabellaWilmotsatvehementlycoquettingwithLordLowborough，seatedhimselfonthesofabesideher，andattachedhimselftoherfortherestoftheevening。
`Sothen！’thoughtI——`hedespisesme，becauseheknowsIlovehim。’
AndthereflectionmademesomiserableIknewnotwhattodo。
Milicentcameandbegantoadmiremydrawingsandmakeremarksuponthem；
butIcouldnottalktoher——Icouldtalktonoone；andupontheintroductionoftea，Itookadvantageoftheopendoorandtheslightdiversioncausedbyitsentrance，toslipout——forIwassureIcouldnottakeany——andtakerefugeinthelibrary。MyauntsentThomasinquestofme，toaskifIwerenotcomingtotea；butIbadehimsayIshouldnottakeanytonight；
andhappilyshewastoomuchoccupiedwithhergueststomakeanyfurtherenquiriesatthetime。
Asmostofthecompanyhadtravelledfarthatday，theyretiredearlytorest；andhavingheardthemall，asIthought，goupstairs，I
venturedout，togetmycandlestickfromthedrawing-roomsideboard。ButMrHuntingdonhadlingeredbehindtherest：hewasjustatthefootofthestairswhenIopenedthedoor；andhearingmystepinthehall——thoughIcouldhardlyhearitmyself——heinstantlyturnedback。
`Helen，isthatyou？’saidhe；`whydidyourunawayfromus？’
`Goodnight，MrHuntingdon，’saidI，coldly，notchoosingtoanswerthequestion。AndIturnedawaytoenterthedrawing。room。
`Butyou’llshakehands，won’tyou？’saidhe，placinghimselfinthedoorwaybeforeme。Andheseizedmyhand，andhelditmuchagainstmywill。
`Letmego，MrHuntingdon！’saidI——`Iwanttogetacandle。’
`Thecandlewillkeep，’returnedhe。
Imadeadesperateefforttofreemyhandfromhisgrasp`Whyareyouinsuchahurrytoleaveme，Helen？’hesaid，withasmileofthemostprovokingself-sufficiency——`youdon’thateme，youknow。’
`Yes，Ido——atthismoment。’
`Notyou！ItisAnnabellaWilmotyouhate，notme。’
`IhavenothingtodowithAnnabellaWilmot，’saidI，burningwithindignation。
`ButIhave，youknow，’returnedhe，withpeculiaremphasis，`Thatisnothingtome，sir！’Iretorted。
`Isitnothingtoyou，Helen？——Willyouswearit？——Willyou？’
`No，Iwon：t，MrHuntingdon！andIwillgo！’criedI，notknowingwhethertolaughortocry，ortobreakoutintoatempestoffury。
`Gothen，youvixen！’hesaid；buttheinstanthereleasedmyhand，hehadtheaudacitytoputhisarmroundmyneckandkissme。
Tremblingwithangerandagitation——andIdon’tknowwhatbesides，Ibrokeaway，andgotmycandleandrushedupstairstomyroom。Hewouldnothavedonesobutforthathatefulpicture！Andtherehehaditstillinhispossession，aneternalmonumenttohisprideandmyhumiliation！
ItwasbutlittlesleepIgotthatnight；andinthemorningI
roseperplexedandtroubledwiththethoughtofmeetinghimatbreakfast。
Iknewnothowitwastobedone；anassumptionofdignified，coldindifferencewouldhardlydoafterwhatheknewofmydevotion——tohisface，atleast。
Yetsomethingmustbedonetocheckhispresumption——Iwouldnotsubmittobetyrannizedoverbythosebright，laughingeyes。Andaccordingly，Ireceivedhischeerfulmorningsalutationascalmlyandcoldlyasmyauntcouldhavewished，anddefeatedwithbriefanswershisoneortwoattemptstodrawmeintoconversation；whileIcomportedmyselfwithunusualcheerfulnessandcomplaisancetowardseveryothermemberoftheparty，especiallyAnnabellaWilmot，andevenheruncleandMrBoarhamweretreatedwithanextraamountofcivilityontheoccasion，notfromanymotivesofcoquetry，butjusttoshowhimthatmyparticularcoolnessandreservearose[romnogeneralillhumourordepressionofspiritsHewasnot，however，toberepelledbysuchactingasthis。Hedidnottalkmuchtome，butwhenhedidspeak，itwaswithadegreeoffreedomandopenness——andkindlinesstoo——thatplainlyseemedtointimateheknewhiswordsweremusictomyears；andwhenhislooksmetmine，itwaswithasmile——presumptuousitmightbe——butoh，sosweet，sobright，sogenial，thatIcouldnotpossiblyretainmyanger：everyvestigeofdispleasuresoonmeltedawaybeneathit，likemorningcloudsbeforethesummersun。
Soonafterbreakfastallthegentlemensaveone，withboyisheagerness，setoutontheirexpeditionagainstthehaplesspartridges；myuncleandMrWilmotontheirshootingponies，MrHuntingdonandLordLowboroughontheirlegs；theoneexceptionbeingMrBoarham，who，Inconsiderationoftherainthathadfallenduringthenight，thoughtitprudenttoremainbehindalittle，andjointheminawhile，whenthesunhaddriedthegrass。
Andhefavouredusallwithalongandminutedisquisitionupontheevilsanddangersattendantupondampfeet，deliveredwiththemostimperturbablegravity，amidthejeersandlaughterofMrHuntingdonandmyuncle，who，leavingtheprudentsportsmantoentertaintheladieswithhismedicaldiscussions，salliedforthwiththeirguns，bendingtheirstepstothestablesfirst，tohavealookatthehorses，andletoutthedogs。
NotdesirousofsharingMrBoarham’scompanyforthewholeofthemorning，Ibetookmyselftothelibrary；andtherebroughtforthmyeasel，andbegantopaint。Theeaselandthepaintingapparatuswouldserveasanexcuseforabandoningthedrawingroom，ifmyauntshouldcometocomplainofthedesertion；andbesides，Iwantedtofinishthepicture。
ItwasoneIhadtakengreatpainswith，andIintendedittobemymasterpiece，thoughitwassomewhatpresumptuousinthedesign。Bythebrightazureofthesky，andbythewarmandbrilliantlights，anddeep，longshadows，Ihadendeavouredtoconveytheideaofasunnymorning。Ihadventuredtogivemoreofthebrightverdureofspringorearlysummertothegrassandfoliagethaniscommonlyattemptedinpainting。Thescenerepresentedwasanopengladeinawood。AgroupofdarkScotchfirswasintroducedinthemiddledistancetorelievetheprevailingfreshnessoftherest；