第21章
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  ButIwasnotleftlongalone,forMrWilmot,ofallmentheleastwelcome,tookadvantageofmyisolatedpositiontocomeandplantbesideme。IhadflatteredmyselfthatIhadsoeffectuallyrepulsedhisadvancesonallformeroccasions,thatIhadnothingmoretoapprehendfromhisunfortunatepredilection;butitseemsIwasmistaken:sogreatwashisconfidence,eitherinhiswealthorhisremainingpowersofattraction,andsofirmhisconvictionoffeminineweakness,thathethoughthimselfwarrantedtoreturntothesiege,whichhedidwithrenovatedardour,enkindledbythequantityofwinehehaddrunk——acircumstancethatrenderedhiminfinitelythemoredisgusting;butgreatlyasIabhorredhimatthatmoment,Ididnotliketotreathimwithrudeness,asIwasnowhisguestandhadjustbeenenjoyinghishospitality;andIwasnohandatapolitebutdeterminedrejection,norwouldithavegreatlyavailedmeifIhad;forhewastoocoarse-mindedtotakeanyrepulsethatwasnotasplainandpositiveashisowneffrontery。Theconsequencewas,thathewaxedmorefulsomelytender,andmorerepulsivelywarm,andIwasdriventotheveryvergeofdesperationandabouttosay,Iknownotwhat,whenIfeltmyhand,thathungoverthearmofthesofa,suddenlytakenbyanotherandgentlybutferventlypressed。Instinctively,Iguessedwhoitwas,andonlookingup,waslesssurprisedthandelighted,toseeMrHuntingdonsmilinguponme。Itwasliketurningfromsomepurgatorialfiendtoanangeloflight,cometoannouncethattheseasonoftormentwaspast。

  `Helen,’saidhehefrequentlycalledmeHelen,andIneverresentedthefreedom,`Iwantyoutolookatthispicture:MrWilmotwillexcuseyouamoment,I’msure。’

  Irosewithalacrity。Hedrewmyarmwithinhis,andledmeacrosstheroomtoasplendidpaintingofVandyke’sthatIhadnoticedbefore,butnotsufficientlyexamined。Afteramomentofsilentcontemplation,Iwasbeginningtocommentonitsbeautiesandpeculiarities,when,playfullypressingthehandhestillretainedwithinhisarm,heinterruptedmewith——

  `Nevermindthepicture,itwasnotforthatIbroughtyouhere;

  itwastogetyouawayfromthatscoundrellyoldprofligateyonder,whoislookingasifhewouldliketochallengemefortheaffront。’

  `Iamverymuchobligedtoyou,’saidI。`Thisistwiceyouhavedeliveredmefromsuchunpleasantcompanionship。’

  `Don’tbetoothankful,’heanswered:`Itisnotallkindnesstoyou;itispartlyfromafeelingofspitetoyourtormentorsthatmakesmedelightedtodotheoldfellowsabadturn,thoughIdon’tthinkIhaveanygreatreasontodreadthemasrivals——HaveI,Helen?’

  `YouknowIdetestthemboth。’

  `Andme?’

  `Ihavenoreasontodetestyou。’

  `Butwhatareyoursentimentstowardsme?——Helen——Speak!——Howdoyouregardme?’

  Andagainhepressedmyhand;butIfearedtherewasmoreofconsciouspowerthantendernessinhisdemeanour,andIfelthehadnorighttoextortaconfessionofattachmentfrommewhenhehadmadenocorrespondentavowalhimself,andknewnotwhattoanswer。AtlastIsaid——

  `Howdoyouregardme?’

  `Sweetangel,Iadoreyou!I——’

  `Helen;Iwantyouamoment,’saidthedistinct,lowvoiceofmyaunt,closebesideus。AndIlefthim,mutteringmaledictionsagainsthisevilangel。

  `Well,aunt,whatisit?batdoyouwant?’saidI,followinghertotheembrasureofthewindow。

  `Iwantyoutojointhecompany,whenyouarefittobeseen,returnedshe,severelyregardingme;`butpleasetostayherealittle,tillthatshockingcolourissomewhatabated,andyoureyeshaverecoveredsomethingoftheirnaturalexpression。Ishouldbeashamedforanyonetoseeyouinyourpresentstate。’

  Ofcourse,sucharemarkhadnoeffectinreducingthe`shockingcolour’;onthecontrary,Ifeltmyfaceglowwithredoubledfires,kindledbyacomplicationofemotions,ofwhichindignant,swellingangerwasthechief。Iofferednoreply,however,butpushedasidethecurtainandlookedintothenight——orrather,intothelamp-litsquare。

  `WasMrHuntingdonproposingtoyou,Helen?’enquiredmytoowatchfulrelative。

  `No。’

  `Whatwashesayingthen?Iheardsomethingverylikeit。’

  `Idon’tknowwhathewouldhavesaid,ifyouhadn’tinterruptedhim。’

  `Andwouldyouhaveacceptedhim,Helen,ifhehadproposed?’

  `Ofcoursenot——withoutconsultinguncleandyou。’

  `Oh!I’mglad,mydear,youhavesomuchprudenceleft。Wellnow,’

  sheadded,afteramoment’spause,`youhavemadeyourselfconspicuousenoughforoneevening。Theladiesaredirectingenquiringglancestowardsusatthismoment,Isee。Ishalljointhem。Doyoucometoo,whenyouaresufficientlycomposedtoappearasusual。’

  `Iamsonow。’

  `Speakgentlythen;anddon’tlooksomalicious,’saidmycalm,butprovokingaunt。`Weshallreturnhomeshortly,andthen,’sheadded,withsolemnsignificance,`Ihavemuchtosaytoyou。’

  SoIwenthomepreparedforaformidablelecture。Littlewassaidbyeitherpartyinthecarriageduringourshorttransithomewards;butwhenIhadenteredmyroomandthrownmyselfintoaneasychairtoreflectontheeventsoftheday,myauntfollowedmehither,andhavingdismissedRachel,whowascarefullystowingawaymyornaments,closedthedoor:andplacingachairbesideme,orratheratrightangleswithmine,satdown。

  WithduedeferenceIofferedhermymorecommodiousseat。Shedeclinedit,andthusopenedtheconference:

  `Doyouremember,Helen,ourconversationthenightbutonebeforeweleftStaningley?’

  `Yes,aunt。’

  `Anddoyourememberhowlwarnedyouagainstlettingyourheartbestolenfromyoubythoseunworthyofitspossession;andfixingyouraffectionswhereapprobationdidnotgobefore,andwherereasonandjudgmentwithheldtheirsanction?’

  `Yes,butmyreason——’

  `Pardonme——anddoyourememberassuringmethattherewasnooccasionforuneasinessonyouraccount;foryoushouldneverbetemptedtomarryamanwhowasdeficientinsenseorprinciple,howeverhandsomeorcharminginotherrespectshemightbe,foryoucouldnotlovehim,youshouldhate——despise——pity——anythingbutlovehim——werenotthoseyourwords?’

  `Yes,but——’

  `Anddidyounotsaythatyouraffectionmustbefoundedonapprobation;andthatunlessyoucouldapproveandhonourandrespect,youcouldnotlove?’

  `Yes,butIdoapproveandhonourandrespect——’

  `Howso,mydear?isMrHuntingdonagoodman?’

  `Heisamuchbettermanthanyouthinkhim。’

  `Thatisnothingtothepurpose。Isheagoodman?’

  `Yes——insomerespects。Hehasagooddisposition。’

  `Isheamanofprinciple?’

  `Perhapsnot,exactly;butitisonlyforwantofthought:ifhehadsomeonetoadvisehim,andremindhimofwhatisright——’

  `Hewouldsoonlearn,youthink——andyouyourselfwouldwillinglyundertaketobehisteacher?But,mydear,heis,Ibelieve,fulltenyearsolderthanyou——howisitthatyouaresobeforehandinmoralacquirements?’

  `Thankstoyou,aunt,Ihavebeenwellbroughtup,andhadgoodexamplesalwaysbeforeme,whichhe,mostlikely,hasnot;——andbesides,heisofasanguinetemperament,andagaysthoughtlesstemper,andI

  amnaturallyinclinedtoreflection。’

  `Well,nowyouhavemadehimouttobedeficientinbothsenseandprinciple,byyourownconfession——’

  `Thenmysenseandmyprincipleareathisservice!’

  `Thatsoundspresumptuous,Helen!Doyouthinkyouhaveenoughforboth;anddoyouimagineyourmerry,thoughtlessprofligatewouldallowhimselftobeguidedbyayoung,girllikeyou?’

  `No;Ishouldnotwishtoguidehim;butIthinkImighthaveinfluencesufficienttosavehimfromsomeerrors,andIshouldthinkmylifewellspentintheefforttopreservesonobleanaturefromdestruction。

  Healwayslistensattentivelynow,whenIspeakseriouslytohimandI

  oftenventuretoreprovehisrandomwayoftalking,andsometimeshesaysthatifhehadmealwaysbyhissideheshouldneverdoorsayawickedthing,andthatalittledailytalkwithmewouldmakehimquiteasaint。

  Itmaybepartlyjestandpartlyflattery,butstill——’

  `Butstillyouthinkitmaybetruth?’

  `IfIdothinkthereisanymixtureoftruthinit,itisnotfromconfidenceinmyownpowers,butinhisnaturalgoodness——Andyouhavenorighttocallhimaprofligate,aunt;heisnothingofthekind。’

  `Whotoldyouso,mydear?batwasthatstoryabouthisintriguewithamarriedlady——Ladywhowasit——MissWilmotherselfwastellingyoutheotherday?’

  `Itwasfalse——false!’Icried。`Idon’tbelieveawordofit。’

  `Youthink,then,thatheisavirtuous,well-conductedyoungman?’

  `Iknownothingpositiverespectinghischaracter。IonlyknowthatIhaveheardnothingdefinitiveagainstit——nothingthatcouldbeproved,atleast;andtillpeoplecanprovetheirslanderousaccusations,Iwillnotbelievethem。AndIknowthis,thatifhehascommittederrors,theyareonlysuchasarecommontoyouth,andsuchasnobodythinksanythingabout;forIseethateverybodylikeshim,andallthemammassmileuponhim,andtheedaughters——andMissWilmotherself——areonlytoogladtoattracthisattention。’

  `Helen,theworldmaylookuponsuchoffencesasvenial;

  afewunprincipledmothersmaybeanxioustocatchayoungmanoffortunewithoutreferencetohischaracter;andthoughtlessgirlsmaybegladtowinthesmilesofsohandsomeagentlemanwithoutseekingtopenetratebeyondthesurface;butyou,Itrusted,werebetterinformedthantoseewiththeireyes,andjudgewiththeirpervertedjudgment。Ididnotthinkyouwouldcallthesevenialerrors!’

  `NordoI,aunt;butifIhatethesinsIlovethesinner,andwoulddomuchforIllssalvation,evensupposingyoursuspicionstobemainlytrue——whichIdonotandwillnotbelieve。’

  `Well,mydear,askyourunclewhatsortofcompanyhekeepsandifheisnotbandedwithasetofloose,profligateyoungmen,whomhecallshisfriends——hisjollycompanions,andwhosechiefdelightistowallowinvice,andviewitheachotherwhocanrunfastestandfarthestdowntheheadlongroadtotheplacepreparedforthedevilandhisangels。’

  `ThenIwillsavehimfromthem。’

  `Oh,Helen,Helen!youlittleknowthemiseryofunitingyourfortunestosuchaman!’

  `Ihavesuchconfidenceinhim,aunt,notwithstandingallyousay,thatIwouldwillinglyriskmyhappinessforthechanceofsecurInghis。Iwillleavebettermentothosewhoonlyconsidertheirownadvantage。

  Ifhehasdoneamiss,Ishallconsidermylifewellspentinsavinghimfromtheconsequencesofhisearlyerrors,andstrivingtorecallhimtothepathofvirtue——Godgrantmesuccess!’

  HeretheConversationended,foratthisjuncture,myuncle’svoicewasheardfromhischamber,loudlycallinguponmyaunttocometobed。Hewasinabadhumourthatnight;forhisgoutwasworse。Ithadbeengraduallyincreasinguponhimeversincewecametotown;andmyaunttookadvantageofthecircumstance,nextmorning,topersuadehimtoreturntothecountryimmediately,withoutwaitingforthecloseoftheseason。

  Hisphysiciansupportedandenforcedherarguments;andcontrarytoherusualhabits,shesohurriedthepreparationsforremovalasmuchformysakeasmyuncle’s,Ithink,thatinaveryfewdayswedeparted;andIsawnomoreofMrHuntingdon。MyauntflattersherselfIshallsoonforgethim——perhapssheIhaveforgottenhimalready,forInevermentionhisname;andshemaycontinuetothinkso,tillwemeetagain,——ifeverthatshouldbe。Iwonderifitwill。

  TheTenantofWildfellHall:Chapter18CHAPTER18TheMiniatureAugust25th——Iamnowquitesettleddowntomyusualroutineofsteadyoccupationsandquietamusements——tolerablycontentedandcheerful,butstilllookingforwardtospringwiththehopeofreturningtotown,notforitsgaietiesanddissipations,butforthechanceofmeetingMrHuntingdononceagain;forstillheisalwaysinmythoughtsandinmydreams。Inallmyemployments,whateverIdo,orsee,orhear,hasanultimatereferencetohim;whateverskillorknowledgeIacquireissomedaytobeturnedtohisadvantageoramusement;whatevernewbeautiesinnatureorartI

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