Ileftthemstillporingoverthemapsandmakingnotesonthebackofthe“Contrack。”“BesuretocomedowntotheSeraito-morrow。”
weretheirpartingwords。
TheKumharsenSeraiisthegreatfoursquaresinkofhumanitywherethestringsofcamelsandhorsesfromtheNorthloadandunloadAllthenationalitiesofCentralAsiamaybefoundthere，andmostofthefolkofIndiaproperBalkhandBokharatheremeetBengalandBombay，andtrytodraweye-teethYoucanbuyponies，turquoises，Persianpussy-cats，saddle-bags，fat-tailedsheep，andmuskintheKumharsenSerai，andgetmanystrangethingsfornothingIntheafternoonIwentdowntoseewhethermyfriendsintendedtokeeptheirwordorwerelyingtheredrunk。
Apriestattiredinfragmentsofribbonsandragsstalkeduptome，gravelytwistingachild’spaperwhirligigBehindhimwashisservantbendingundertheloadofacrateofmudtoysThetwowereloadinguptwocamels，andtheinhabitantsoftheSeraiwatchedthemwithshrieksoflaughter。
“Thepriestismad。”saidahorse-dealertome“HeisgoinguptoKabultoselltoystotheAmirHewilleitherberaisedtohonourorhavehisheadcutoffHecameinherethismorningandhasbeenbehavingmadlyeversince。”
“ThewitlessareundertheprotectionofGod。”stammeredaflat-
cheekedUsbeginbrokenHindi“Theyforetellfutureevents。”
“WouldtheycouldhaveforetoldthatmycaravanwouldhavebeencutupbytheShinwarisalmostwithinshadowofthePass！”
gruntedtheEusufzaiagentofaRajputanatrading-housewhosegoodshadbeendivertedintothehandsofotherrobbersjustacrosstheBorder，andwhosemisfortuneswerethelaughing-stockofthebazaar“Ohe，priest，whencecomeyouandwhitherdoyougo？”
“FromRoumhaveIcome。”shoutedthepriest，wavinghiswhirligig；“fromRoum，blownbythebreathofahundreddevilsacrossthesea！Othieves，robbers，liars，theblessingofPirKhanonpigs，dogs，andperjurers！WhowilltaketheProtectedofGodtotheNorthtosellcharmsthatareneverstilltotheAmir？Thecamelsshallnotgall，thesonsshallnotfallsick，andthewivesshallremainfaithfulwhiletheyareaway，ofthemenwhogivemeplaceintheircaravanWhowillassistmetoslippertheKingoftheRooswithagoldenslipperwithasilverheel？TheprotectionofPirKhanbeuponhislabours！”Hespreadouttheskirtsofhisgabardineandpirouettedbetweenthelinesoftetheredhorses。
“TherestartsacaravanfromPeshawartoKabulintwentydays，Huzrut。”saidtheEusufzaitrader“MycamelsgotherewithDothoualsogoandbringusgoodluck。”
“Iwillgoevennow！”shoutedthepriest“Iwilldepartuponmywingedcamels，andbeatPeshawarinaday！Ho！HazarMirKhan。”heyelledtohisservant，“driveoutthecamels，butletmefirstmountmyown。”
Heleapedonthebackofhisbeastasitknelt，and，turningroundtome，cried，“Comethoualso，Sahib，alittlealongtheroad，andI
willselltheeacharm——anamuletthatshallmaketheeKingofKafiristan。”
Thenthelightbrokeuponme，andIfollowedthetwocamelsoutoftheSeraitillwereachedopenroadandthepriesthalted。
“Whatd’youthinko’that？”saidheinEnglish“Carnehancan’ttalktheirpatter，soI’vemadehimmyservantHemakesahandsomeservant’Tisn’tfornothingthatI’vebeenknockingaboutthecountryforfourteenyearsDidn’tIdothattalkneat？We’llhitchontoacaravanatPeshawartillwegettoJagdallak，andthenwe’llseeifwecangetdonkeysforourcamels，andstrikeintoKafiristan。
WhirligigsfortheAmir，OLor’！Putyourhandunderthecamelbagsandtellmewhatyoufeel。”
IfeltthebuttofaMartini，andanotherandanother。
“Twentyof’em。”saidDravot，placidly“Twentyof’emandammunitiontocorrespond，underthewhirligigsandthemuddolls。”
“Heavenhelpyouifyouarecaughtwiththosethings！”Isaid“A
MartiniisworthherweightinsilveramongthePathans。”
“Fifteenhundredrupeesofcapital——everyrupeewecouldbeg，borrow，orsteal——areinvestedonthesetwocamels。”saidDravot。
“Wewon’tgetcaughtWe’regoingthroughtheKhaiberwitharegularcaravanWho’dtouchapoormadpriest？”
“Haveyougoteverythingyouwant？”Iasked，overcomewithastonishment。
“Notyet，butweshallsoonGiveusamomentoofyourkindness，BrotherYoudidmeaserviceyesterday，andthattimeinMarwar。
HalfmyKingdomshallyouhave，asthesayingis。”Islippedasmallcharmcompassfrommywatch-chainandhandedituptothepriest。
“Good-bye。”saidDravot，givingmehandcautiously“It’sthelasttimewe’llshakehandswithanEnglishmanthesemanydays。
Shakehandswithhim，Carnehan。”hecried，asthesecondcamelpassedme。
CarnehanleaneddownandshookhandsThenthecamelspassedawayalongthedustyroad，andIwasleftalonetowonderMyeyecoulddetectnofailureinthedisguisesThesceneintheSeraiprovedthattheywerecompletetothenativemindTherewasjustthechance，therefore，thatCarnehanandDravotwouldbeabletowanderthroughAfghanistanwithoutdetectionBut，beyond，theywouldfinddeath——certainandawfuldeath。
Tendayslateranativecorrespondent，givingmethenewsofthedayfromPeshawar，wounduphisletterwith：“TherehasbeenmuchlaughterhereonaccountofacertainmadpriestwhoisgoinginhisestimationtosellpettygaudsandinsignificanttrinketswhichheascribesasgreatcharmstoHHtheAmirofBokhara。
HepassedthroughPeshawarandassociatedhimselftotheSecondSummercaravanthatgoestoKabulThemerchantsarepleasedbecausethroughsuperstitiontheyimaginethatsuchmadfellowsbringgoodfortune。”
Thetwo，then，werebeyondtheBorderIwouldhaveprayedforthem，butthatnightarealKingdiedinEurope，anddemandedanobituarynotice。
ThewheeloftheworldswingsthroughthesamephasesagainandagainSummerpassedandwinterthereafter，andcameandpassedagainThedailypapercontinuedandIwithit，anduponthethirdsummertherefellahotnight，anightissue，andastrainedwaitingforsomethingtobetelegraphedfromtheothersideoftheworld，exactlyashadhappenedbeforeAfewgreatmenhaddiedinthepasttwoyears，themachinesworkedwithmoreclatter，andsomeofthetreesintheofficegardenwereafewfeettallerButthatwasallthedifference。
Ipassedovertothepress-room，andwentthroughjustsuchasceneasIhavealreadydescribedThenervoustensionwasstrongerthanithadbeentwoyearsbefore，andIfelttheheatmoreacutelyAtthreeo’clockIcried，“Printoff。”andturnedtogo，whentherecrepttomychairwhatwasleftofamanHewasbentintoacircle，hisheadwassunkbetweenhisshoulders，andhemovedhisfeetoneovertheotherlikeabearIcouldhardlyseewhetherhewalkedorcrawled——thisrag-wrapped，whiningcripplewhoaddressedmebyname，cryingthathewascomeback“Canyougivemeadrink？”
hewhimpered“FortheLord’ssake，givemeadrink！”
Iwentbacktotheoffice，themanfollowingwithgroansofpain，andIturnedupthelamp。
“Don’tyouknowme？”hegasped，droppingintoachair，andheturnedhisdrawnface，surmountedbyashockofgrayhair，tothelight。
IlookedathimintentlyOncebeforehadIseeneyebrowsthatmetoverthenoseinaninch-broadblackband，butforthelifeofmeI
couldnottellwhere。
“Idon’tknowyou。”Isaid，handinghimthewhisky“WhatcanIdoforyou？”
Hetookagulpofthespiritraw，andshiveredinspiteofthesuffocatingheat。
“I’vecomeback。”herepeated；“andIwastheKingofKafiristan——
meandDravot——crownedKingswewas！Inthisofficewesettledit——
yousettingthereandgivingusthebooksIamPeachey，——PeacheyTaliaferroCarnehan，——andyou’vebeensettinghereeversince——O
Lord！”
Iwasmorethanalittleastonished，andexpressedmyfeelingsaccordingly。
“It’strue。”saidCarnehan，withadrycackle，nursinghisfeet，whichwerewrappedinrags——“trueasgospelKingswewere，withcrownsuponourheads——meandDravot——poorDan——oh，poor，poorDan，thatwouldnevertakeadvice，notthoughIbeggedofhim！”
“Takethewhisky。”Isaid，“andtakeyourowntimeTellmeallyoucanrecollectofeverythingfrombeginningtoendYougotacrosstheBorderonyourcamels，DravotdressedasamadpriestandyouhisservantDoyourememberthat？”
“Iain’tmad——yet，butIshallbethatwaysoonOfcourseI
rememberKeeplookingatme，ormaybemywordswillgoalltopiecesKeeplookingatmeinmyeyesanddon’tsayanything。”
IleanedforwardandlookedintohisfaceassteadilyasIcouldHedroppedonehanduponthetableandIgraspeditbythewristItwastwistedlikeabird’sclaw，anduponthebackwasaragged，red，diamond-shapedscar。
“No，don’tlookthereLookatme。”saidCarnehan“Thatcomesafterward，butfortheLord’ssakedon’tdistrackmeWeleftwiththatcaravan，meandDravotplayingallsortsofanticstoamusethepeoplewewerewithDravotusedtomakeuslaughintheeveningswhenallthepeoplewascookingtheirdinners——cookingtheirdinners，andwhatdidtheydothen？TheylitlittlefireswithsparksthatwentintoDravot’sbeard，andwealllaughed——fittodieLittleredfirestheywas，goingintoDravot’sbigredbeard——
sofunny。”Hiseyesleftmineandhesmiledfoolishly。
“YouwentasfarasJagdallakwiththatcaravan。”Isaid，ataventure，“afteryouhadlitthosefiresToJagdallak，whereyouturnedofftotrytogetintoKafiristan。”
“No，wedidn’t，neitherWhatareyoutalkingabout？WeturnedoffbeforeJagdallak，becauseweheardtheroadswasgoodButtheywasn’tgoodenoughforourtwocamels——mineandDravot’sWhenweleftthecaravan，Dravottookoffallhisclothesandminetoo，andsaidwewouldbeheathen，becausetheKafirsdidn’tallowMohammedanstotalktothemSowedressedbetwixtandbetween，andsuchasightasDanielDravotIneversawyetnorexpecttoseeagainHeburnedhalfhisbeard，andslungasheepskinoverhisshoulder，andshavedhisheadintopatternsHeshavedminetoo，andmademewearoutrageousthingstolooklikeaheathenThatwasinamostmountaineouscountry，andourcamelscouldn’tgoalonganymorebecauseofthemountainsTheyweretallandblack，andcominghomeIsawthemfightlikewildgoats——therearelotsofgoatsinKafiristanAndthesemountains，theyneverkeepstill，nomorethanthegoatsAlwaysfightingtheyare，anddon’tletyousleepatnight。”
“Takesomemorewhisky。”Isaid，veryslowly“WhatdidyouandDanielDravotdowhenthecamelscouldgonofartherbecauseoftheroughroadsthatledintoKafiristan？”
“Whatdidwhichdo？TherewasapartycalledPeacheyTaliaferroCarnehanthatwaswithDravotShallItellyouabouthim？HediedoutthereinthecoldSlapfromthebridgefelloldPeachey，turningandtwistingintheairlikeapennywhirligigthatyoucanselltotheAmirNo；theywastwoforthreeha’pence，thosewhirligigs，orIammuchmistakenandwofulsoreAndthenthesecamelswerenouse，andPeacheysaidtoDravot，’FortheLord’ssakelet’sgetoutofthisbeforeourheadsarechoppedoff，’
andwiththattheykilledthecamelsallamongthemountains，nothavinganythinginparticulartoeat，butfirsttheytookofftheboxeswiththegunsandtheammunition，tilltwomencamealongdrivingfourmulesDravotupanddancesinfrontofthem，singing，’Sellmefourmules。’Saysthefirstman，’Ifyouarerichenoughtobuy，youarerichenoughtorob；’butbeforeeverhecouldputhishandtohisknife，Dravotbreakshisneckoverhisknee，andtheotherpartyrunsawaySoCarnehanloadedthemuleswiththeriflesthatwastakenoffthecamels，andtogetherwestartsforwardintothosebitter-coldmountaineousparts，andneveraroadbroaderthanthebackofyourhand。”
Hepausedforamoment，whileIaskedhimifhecouldrememberthenatureofthecountrythroughwhichhehadjourneyed。
“IamtellingyouasstraightasIcan，butmyheadisn’tasgoodasitmightbeTheydrovenailsthroughittomakemehearbetterhowDravotdiedThecountrywasmountaineousandthemulesweremostcontrary，andtheinhabitantswasdispersedandsolitaryTheywentupandup，anddownanddown，andthatotherparty，Carnehan，wasimploringofDravotnottosingandwhistlesoloud，forfearofbringingdownthetremenjusavalanchesButDravotsaysthatifaKingcouldn’tsingitwasn’tworthbeingKing，andwhackedthemulesovertherump，andnevertooknoheedfortencolddaysWecametoabiglevelvalleyallamongthemountains，andthemuleswereneardead，sowekilledthem，nothavinganythinginspecialforthemorustoeatWesatupontheboxes，andplayedoddandevenwiththecartridgesthatwasjoltedout。
“Thentenmenwithbowsandarrowsrandownthatvalley，chasingtwentymenwithbowsandarrows，andtherowwastremenjus。