CHAPTERXL
OFMATTERSRELATINGANDBELONGINGTOTHISADVENTUREANDTOTHIS
MEMORABLEHISTORY
VERILYandtrulyallthosewhofindpleasureinhistorieslikethisoughtshowtheirgratitudetoCideHamete，itsoriginalauthor，forthescrupulouscarehehastakentosetbeforeusallitsminuteparticulars，notleavinganything，howevertriflingitmaybe，thathedoesnotmakeclearandplain。Heportraysthethoughts，herevealsthefancies，heanswersimpliedquestions，clearsupdoubts，setsobjectionsatrest，and，inaword，makesplainthesmallestpointsthemostinquisitivecandesiretoknow。Orenownedauthor！OhappyDonQuixote！OfamousfamousdrollSancho！Allandeach，mayyelivecountlessagesforthedelightandamusementofthedwellersonearth！
ThehistorygoesontosaythatwhenSanchosawtheDistressedOnefaintheexclaimed：“IswearbythefaithofanhonestmanandtheshadesofallmyancestorsthePanzas，thatneverIdidseeorhearof，norhasmymasterrelatedorconceivedinhismind，suchanadventureasthis。Athousanddevils-nottocursethee-takethee，Malambruno，foranenchanterandagiant！Couldstthoufindnoothersortofpunishmentforthesesinnersbutbeardingthem？Woulditnothavebeenbetter-itwouldhavebeenbetterforthem-tohavetakenoffhalftheirnosesfromthemiddleupwards，eventhoughthey\'dhavesnuffledwhentheyspoke，thantohaveputbeardsonthem？I\'llbettheyhavenotthemeansofpayinganybodytoshavethem。“
“Thatisthetruth，senor，“saidoneofthetwelve；“wehavenotthemoneytogetourselvesshaved，andsowehave，someofus，takentousingsticking-plastersbywayofaneconomicalremedy，forbyapplyingthemtoourfacesandpluckingthemoffwithajerkweareleftasbareandsmoothasthebottomofastonemortar。Thereare，tobesure，womeninKandythatgoaboutfromhousetohousetoremovedown，andtrimeyebrows，andmakecosmeticsfortheuseofthewomen，butwe，theduennasofmylady，wouldneverletthemin，formostofthemhaveaflavourofagentsthathaveceasedtobeprincipals；andifwearenotrelievedbySenorDonQuixoteweshallbecarriedtoourgraveswithbeards。“
“IwillpluckoutmyowninthelandoftheMoors，“saidDonQuixote，“ifIdon\'tcureyours。“
AtthisinstanttheTrifaldirecoveredfromherswoonandsaid，“Thechinkofthatpromise，valiantknight，reachedmyearsinthemidstofmyswoon，andhasbeenthemeansofrevivingmeandbringingbackmysenses；andsooncemoreIimploreyou，illustriouserrant，indomitablesir，toletyourgraciouspromisesbeturnedintodeeds。“
“Thereshallbenodelayonmypart，“saidDonQuixote。“Bethinkyou，senora，ofwhatImustdo，formyheartismosteagertoserveyou。“
“Thefactis，“repliedtheDistressedOne，“itisfivethousandleagues，acouplemoreorless，fromthistothekingdomofKandy，ifyougobyland；butifyougothroughtheairandinastraightline，itisthreethousandtwohundredandtwenty-seven。Youmustknow，too，thatMalambrunotoldmethat，wheneverfateprovidedtheknightourdeliverer，hehimselfwouldsendhimasteedfarbetterandwithlesstricksthanapost-horse；forhewillbethatsamewoodenhorseonwhichthevaliantPierrescarriedoffthefairMagalona；
whichsaidhorseisguidedbyapeghehasinhisforeheadthatservesforabridle，andfliesthroughtheairwithsuchrapiditythatyouwouldfancytheverydevilswerecarryinghim。Thishorse，accordingtoancienttradition，wasmadebyMerlin。HelenthimtoPierres，whowasafriendofhis，andwhomadelongjourneyswithhim，and，ashasbeensaid，carriedoffthefairMagalona，bearingherthroughtheaironitshaunchesandmakingallwhobeheldthemfromtheearthgapewithastonishment；andheneverlenthimsavetothosewhomhelovedorthosewhopaidhimwell；andsincethegreatPierresweknowofnoonehavingmountedhimuntilnow。FromhimMalambrunostolehimbyhismagicart，andhehashimnowinhispossession，andmakesuseofhiminhisjourneyswhichheconstantlymakesthroughdifferentpartsoftheworld；heishereto-day，to-morrowinFrance，andthenextdayinPotosi；andthebestofitisthesaidhorseneithereatsnorsleepsnorwearsoutshoes，andgoesatanamblingpacethroughtheairwithoutwings，sothathewhomhehasmounteduponhimcancarryacupfullofwaterinhishandwithoutspillingadrop，sosmoothlyandeasilydoeshego，forwhichreasonthefairMagalonaenjoyedridinghimgreatly。“
“Forgoingsmoothlyandeasily，“saidSanchoatthis，“givememyDapple，thoughhecan\'tgothroughtheair；butonthegroundI\'llbackhimagainstalltheamblersintheworld。“
Theyalllaughed，andtheDistressedOnecontinued：“Andthissamehorse，ifsobethatMalambrunoisdisposedtoputanendtooursufferings，willbeherebeforeuserethenightshallhaveadvancedhalfanhour；forheannouncedtomethatthesignhewouldgivemewherebyImightknowthatIhadfoundtheknightIwasinquestof，wouldbetosendmethehorsewhereverhemightbe，speedilyandpromptly。“
“Andhowmanyisthereroomforonthishorse？”askedSancho。
“Two，“saidtheDistressedOne，“oneinthesaddle，andtheotheronthecroup；andgenerallythesetwoareknightandsquire，whenthereisnodamselthat\'sbeingcarriedoff。“
“I\'dliketoknow，SenoraDistressedOne，“saidSancho，“whatisthenameofthishorse？”
“Hisname，“saidtheDistressedOne，“isnotthesameasBellerophon\'shorsethatwascalledPegasus，orAlexandertheGreat\'s，calledBucephalus，orOrlandoFurioso\'s，thenameofwhichwasBrigliador，noryetBayard，thehorseofReinaldosofMontalvan，norFrontinolikeRuggiero\'s，norBootesorPeritoa，astheysaythehorsesofthesunwerecalled，norishecalledOrelia，likethehorseonwhichtheunfortunateRodrigo，thelastkingoftheGoths，rodetothebattlewherehelosthislifeandhiskingdom。“
“I\'llbet，“saidSancho，“thatastheyhavegivenhimnoneofthesefamousnamesofwell-knownhorses，nomorehavetheygivenhimthenameofmymaster\'sRocinante，whichforbeingaptsurpassesallthathavebeenmentioned。“
“Thatistrue，“saidthebeardedcountess，“stillitfitshimverywell，forheiscalledClavilenotheSwift，whichnameisinaccordancewithhisbeingmadeofwood，withthepeghehasinhisforehead，andwiththeswiftpaceatwhichhetravels；andso，asfarasnamegoes，hemaycomparewiththefamousRocinante。“
“Ihavenothingtosayagainsthisname，“saidSancho；“butwithwhatsortofbridleorhalterishemanaged？”
“Ihavesaidalready，“saidtheTrifaldi，“thatitiswithapeg，byturningwhichtoonesideortheothertheknightwhorideshimmakeshimgoashepleases，eitherthroughtheupperair，orskimmingandalmostsweepingtheearth，orelseinthatmiddlecoursethatissoughtandfollowedinallwell-regulatedproceedings。“
“I\'dliketoseehim，“saidSancho；“buttofancyI\'mgoingtomounthim，eitherinthesaddleoronthecroup，istoaskpearsoftheelmtree。Agoodjokeindeed！IcanhardlykeepmyseatuponDapple，andonapack-saddlesofterthansilkitself，andherethey\'dhavemeholdonuponhaunchesofplankwithoutpadorcushionofanysort！Gad，Ihavenonotionofbruisingmyselftogetridofanyone\'sbeard；leteachoneshavehimselfasbesthecan；I\'mnotgoingtoaccompanymymasteronanysuchlongjourney；besides，I
can\'tgiveanyhelptotheshavingofthesebeardsasIcantothedisenchantmentofmyladyDulcinea。“
“Yes，youcan，myfriend，“repliedtheTrifaldi；“andsomuch，thatwithoutyou，soIunderstand，weshallbeabletodonothing。“
“Intheking\'sname！”exclaimedSancho，“whathavesquiresgottodowiththeadventuresoftheirmasters？Aretheytohavethefameofsuchastheygothrough，andwethelabour？Bodyo\'me！ifthehistorianswouldonlysay，\'Suchandsuchaknightfinishedsuchandsuchanadventure，butwiththehelpofsoandso，hissquire，withoutwhichitwouldhavebeenimpossibleforhimtoaccomplishit；\'buttheywritecurtly，“DonParalipomenonoftheThreeStarsaccomplishedtheadventureofthesixmonsters；\'withoutmentioningsuchapersonashissquire，whowasthereallthetime，justasiftherewasnosuchbeing。Oncemore，sirs，Isaymymastermaygoalone，andmuchgoodmayitdohim；andI\'llstayhereinthecompanyofmyladytheduchess；andmaybewhenhecomesback，hewillfindtheladyDulcinea\'saffaireversomuchadvanced；forImeaninleisurehours，andatidlemoments，togivemyselfaspellofwhippingwithoutsomuchasahairtocoverme。“
“Forallthatyoumustgoifitbenecessary，mygoodSancho，“
saidtheduchess，“fortheyareworthyfolkwhoaskyou；andthefacesoftheseladiesmustnotremainovergrowninthiswaybecauseofyouridlefears；thatwouldbeahardcaseindeed。“
“Intheking\'sname，oncemore！”saidSancho；“Ifthischaritableworkweretobedoneforthesakeofdamselsinconfinementorcharity-girls，amanmightexposehimselftosomehardships；buttobearitforthesakeofstrippingbeardsoffduennas！Deviltakeit！
I\'dsoonerseethemallbearded，fromthehighesttothelowest，andfromthemostprudishtothemostaffected。“
“Youareveryhardonduennas，Sanchomyfriend，“saidtheduchess；“youinclineverymuchtotheopinionoftheToledoapothecary。Butindeedyouarewrong；thereareduennasinmyhousethatmayserveaspatternsofduennas；andhereismyDonaRodriguez，whowillnotallowmetosayotherwise。“
“Yourexcellencemaysayitifyoulike，“saidtheRodriguez；“forGodknowsthetruthofeverything；andwhetherweduennasaregoodorbad，beardedorsmooth，weareourmothers\'daughterslikeotherwomen；andasGodsentusintotheworld，heknowswhyhedid，andonhismercyIrely，andnotonanybody\'sbeard。“
“Well，SenoraRodriguez，SenoraTrifaldi，andpresentcompany，“saidDonQuixote，“ItrustinHeaventhatitwilllookwithkindlyeyesuponyourtroubles，forSanchowilldoasIbidhim。OnlyletClavilenocomeandletmefindmyselffacetofacewithMalambruno，andIamcertainnorazorwillshaveyoumoreeasilythanmyswordshallshaveMalambruno\'sheadoffhisshoulders；for\'Godbearswiththewicked，butnotforever。“
“Ah！”exclaimedtheDistressedOneatthis，“mayallthestarsofthecelestialregionslookdownuponyourgreatnesswithbenigneyes，valiantknight，andshedeveryprosperityandvalouruponyourheart，thatitmaybetheshieldandsafeguardoftheabusedanddowntroddenraceofduennas，detestedbyapothecaries，sneeredatbysquires，andmadegameofbypages。Illbetidethejadethatintheflowerofheryouthwouldnotsoonerbecomeanunthanaduenna！
Unfortunatebeingsthatweare，weduennas！ThoughwemaybedescendedinthedirectmalelinefromHectorofTroyhimself，ourmistressesneverfailtoaddressusas\'you\'iftheythinkitmakesqueensofthem。OgiantMalambruno，thoughthouartanenchanter，thouarttruetothypromises。SendusnowthepeerlessClavileno，thatourmisfortunemaybebroughttoanend；forifthehotweathersetsinandthesebeardsofoursarestillthere，alasforourlot！”
TheTrifaldisaidthisinsuchapatheticwaythatshedrewtearsfromtheeyesofallandevenSancho\'sfilledup；andheresolvedinhishearttoaccompanyhismastertotheuttermostendsoftheearth，ifsobetheremovalofthewoolfromthosevenerablecountenancesdependeduponit。
CHAPTERXLI
OFTHEARRIVALOFCLAVILENOANDTHEENDOFTHISPROTRACTEDADVENTURE
ANDnownightcame，andwithittheappointedtimeforthearrivalofthefamoushorseClavileno，thenon-appearanceofwhichwasalreadybeginningtomakeDonQuixoteuneasy，foritstruckhimthat，asMalambrunowassolongaboutsendingit，eitherhehimselfwasnottheknightforwhomtheadventurewasreserved，orelseMalambrunodidnotdaretomeethiminsinglecombat。Butlo！suddenlytherecameintothegardenfourwild-menallcladingreenivybearingontheirshouldersagreatwoodenhorse。Theyplaceditonitsfeetontheground，andoneofthewild-mensaid，“Lettheknightwhohasheartforitmountthismachine。“
HereSanchoexclaimed，“Idon\'tmount，forneitherhaveItheheartnoramIaknight。“
“Andletthesquire，ifhehasone，“continuedthewild-man，“takehisseatonthecroup，andlethimtrustthevaliantMalambruno；forbynoswordsavehis，norbythemaliceofanyother，shallhebeassailed。Itisbuttoturnthispegthehorsehasinhisneck，andhewillbearthemthroughtheairtowhereMalambrunoawaitsthem；butlestthevastelevationoftheircourseshouldmakethemgiddy，theireyesmustbecovereduntilthehorseneighs，whichwillbethesignoftheirhavingcompletedtheirjourney。“
Withthesewords，leavingClavilenobehindthem，theyretiredwitheasydignitythewaytheycame。AssoonastheDistressedOnesawthehorse，almostintearssheexclaimedtoDonQuixote，“Valiantknight，thepromiseofMalambrunohasprovedtrustworthy；thehorsehascome，ourbeardsaregrowing，andbyeveryhairinthemallofusimploretheetoshaveandshearus，asitisonlymountinghimwiththysquireandmakingahappybeginningwithyournewjourney。“
“ThatIwill，SenoraCountessTrifaldi，“saidDonQuixote，“mostgladlyandwithrightgoodwill，withoutstoppingtotakeacushionorputonmyspurs，soasnottolosetime，suchismydesiretoseeyouandalltheseduennasshavedclean。“
“ThatIwon\'t，“saidSancho，“withgood-willorbad-will，oranywayatall；andifthisshavingcan\'tbedonewithoutmymountingonthecroup，mymasterhadbetterlookoutforanothersquiretogowithhim，andtheseladiesforsomeotherwayofmakingtheirfacessmooth；
I\'mnowitchtohaveatastefortravellingthroughtheair。Whatwouldmyislanderssaywhentheyheardtheirgovernorwasgoing，strollingaboutonthewinds？Andanotherthing，asitisthreethousandandoddleaguesfromthistoKandy，ifthehorsetires，orthegianttakeshuff，we\'llhehalfadozenyearsgettingback，andtherewon\'tbeisleorislandintheworldthatwillknowme：andso，asitisacommonsaying\'indelaythere\'sdanger，\'and\'whentheyoffertheeaheiferrunwithahalter，\'theseladies\'beardsmustexcuseme；\'SaintPeterisverywellinRome；\'ImeanIamverywellinthishousewheresomuchismadeofme，andIhopeforsuchagoodthingfromthemasterastoseemyselfagovernor。“
“FriendSancho，“saidthedukeatthis，“theislandthatIhavepromisedyouisnotamovingone，oronethatwillrunaway；ithasrootssodeeplyburiedinthebowelsoftheearththatitwillbenoeasymattertopluckituporshiftitfromwhereitis；youknowaswellasIdothatthereisnosortofofficeofanyimportancethatisnotobtainedbyabribeofsomekind，greatorsmall；wellthen，thatwhichIlooktoreceiveforthisgovernmentisthatyougowithyourmasterDonQuixote，andbringthismemorableadventuretoaconclusion；andwhetheryoureturnonClavilenoasquicklyashisspeedseemstopromise，oradversefortunebringsyoubackonfoottravellingasapilgrimfromhosteltohostelandfrominntoinn，youwillalwaysfindyourislandonyourreturnwhereyouleftit，andyourislanderswiththesameeagernesstheyhavealwayshadtoreceiveyouastheirgovernor，andmygood-willwillremainthesame；doubtnotthetruthofthis，SenorSancho，forthatwouldbegrievouslywrongingmydispositiontoserveyou。“
“Saynomore，senor，“saidSancho；“Iamapoorsquireandnotequaltocarryingsomuchcourtesy；letmymastermount；bandagemyeyesandcommitmetoGod\'scare，andtellmeifImaycommendmyselftoourLordorcallupontheangelstoprotectmewhenwegotoweringupthere。“
TothistheTrifaldimadeanswer，“Sancho，youmayfreelycommendyourselftoGodorwhomyouwill；forMalambrunothoughanenchanterisaChristian，andworkshisenchantmentswithgreatcircumspection，takingverygoodcarenottofalloutwithanyone。“
“Wellthen，“saidSancho，“GodandthemostholyTrinityofGaetagivemehelp！”
“Sincethememorableadventureofthefullingmills，“saidDonQuixote，“IhaveneverseenSanchoinsuchafrightasnow；wereI
assuperstitiousasothershisabjectfearwouldcausemesomelittletrepidationofspirit。Butcomehere，Sancho，forwiththeleaveofthesegentlesIwouldsayawordortwototheeinprivate；“anddrawingSanchoasideamongthetreesofthegardenandseizingbothhishandshesaid，“Thouseest，brotherSancho，thelongjourneywehavebeforeus，andGodknowswhenweshallreturn，orwhatleisureoropportunitiesthisbusinesswillallowus；Iwishtheethereforetoretirenowtothychamber，asthoughthouwertgoingtofetchsomethingrequiredfortheroad，andinatricegivethyselfifitbeonlyfivehundredlashesonaccountofthethreethousandthreehundredtowhichthouartbound；itwillbealltothegood，andtomakeabeginningwithathingistohaveithalffinished。“
“ByGod，“saidSancho，“butyourworshipmustbeoutofyoursenses！
Thisislikethecommonsaying，\'Youseemewithchild，andyouwantmeavirgin。\'JustasI\'mabouttogosittingonabareboard，yourworshipwouldhavemescoremybackside！Indeed，yourworshipisnotreasonable。Letusbeofftoshavetheseduennas；andonourreturnIpromiseonmywordtomakesuchhastetowipeoffallthat\'sdueaswillsatisfyyourworship；Ican\'tsaymore。“
“Well，Iwillcomfortmyselfwiththatpromise，mygoodSancho，“
repliedDonQuixote，“andIbelievethouwiltkeepit；forindeedthoughstupidthouartveracious。“
“I\'mnotvoracious，“saidSancho，“onlypeckish；butevenifIwasalittle，stillI\'dkeepmyword。“
WiththistheywentbacktomountClavileno，andastheywereabouttodosoDonQuixotesaid，“Coverthineeyes，Sancho，andmount；
foronewhosendsforusfromlandssofardistantcannotmeantodeceiveusforthesakeofthepaltryglorytobederivedfromdeceivingpersonswhotrustinhim；thoughallshouldturnoutthecontraryofwhatIhope，nomalicewillbeabletodimthegloryofhavingundertakenthisexploit。“
“Letusbeoff，senor，“saidSancho，“forIhavetakenthebeardsandtearsoftheseladiesdeeplytoheart，andIshan\'teatabittorelishituntilIhaveseenthemrestoredtotheirformersmoothness。Mount，yourworship，andblindfoldyourself，forifIamtogoonthecroup，itisplaintheriderinthesaddlemustmountfirst。“
“Thatistrue，“saidDonQuixote，and，takingahandkerchiefoutofhispocket，hebeggedtheDistressedOnetobandagehiseyesverycarefully；butafterhavingthembandagedheuncoveredthemagain，saying，“Ifmymemorydoesnotdeceiveme，IhavereadinVirgilofthePalladiumofTroy，awoodenhorsetheGreeksofferedtothegoddessPallas，whichwasbigwitharmedknights，whowereafterwardsthedestructionofTroy；soitwouldheaswelltosee，firstofall，whatClavilenohasinhisstomach。“
“Thereisnooccasion，“saidtheDistressedOne；“Iwillbebailforhim，andIknowthatMalambrunohasnothingtrickyortreacherousabouthim；youmaymountwithoutanyfear，SenorDonQuixote；onmyheadbeitifanyharmbefallsyou。“
DonQuixotethoughtthattosayanythingfurtherwithregardtohissafetywouldbeputtinghiscourageinanunfavourablelight；
andso，withoutmorewords，hemountedClavileno，andtriedthepeg，whichturnedeasily；andashehadnostirrupsandhislegshungdown，helookedlikenothingsomuchasafigureinsomeRomantriumphpaintedorembroideredonaFlemishtapestry。
Muchagainstthegrain，andveryslowly，Sanchoproceededtomount，and，aftersettlinghimselfaswellashecouldonthecroup，founditratherhard，andnotatallsoft，andaskedthedukeifitwouldbepossibletoobligehimwithapadofsomekind，oracushion；
evenifitwereoffthecouchofhisladytheduchess，orthebedofoneofthepages；asthehaunchesofthathorseweremorelikemarblethanwood。OnthistheTrifaldiobservedthatClavilenowouldnotbearanykindofharnessortrappings，andthathisbestplanwouldbetositsidewayslikeawoman，asinthatwayhewouldnotfeelthehardnesssomuch。
Sanchodidso，and，biddingthemfarewell，allowedhiseyestohebandaged，butimmediatelyafterwardsuncoveredthemagain，andlookingtenderlyandtearfullyonthoseinthegarden，badethemhelphiminhispresentstraitwithplentyofPaternostersandAveMarias，thatGodmightprovidesomeonetosayasmanyforthem，whenevertheyfoundthemselvesinasimilaremergency。
AtthisDonQuixoteexclaimed，“Artthouonthegallows，thief，oratthylastmoment，tousepitifulentreatiesofthatsort？
Cowardly，spiritlesscreature，artthounotintheveryplacethefairMagalonaoccupied，andfromwhichshedescended，notintothegrave，buttobecomeQueenofFrance；unlessthehistorieslie？AndIwhoamherebesidethee，mayInotputmyselfonaparwiththevaliantPierres，whopressedthisveryspotthatInowpress？Coverthineeyes，coverthineeyes，abjectanimal，andletnotthyfearescapethylips，atleastinmypresence。“
“Blindfoldme，“saidSancho；“asyouwon\'tletmecommendmyselforbecommendedtoGod，isitanywonderifIamafraidthereisaregionofdevilsaboutherethatwillcarryusofftoPeralvillo？”
Theywerethenblindfolded，andDonQuixote，findinghimselfsettledtohissatisfaction，feltforthepeg，andtheinstantheplacedhisfingersonit，alltheduennasandallwhostoodbylifteduptheirvoicesexclaiming，“Godguidethee，valiantknight！Godbewiththee，intrepidsquire！Now，nowyegocleavingtheairmoreswiftlythananarrow！Nowyebegintoamazeandastonishallwhoaregazingatyoufromtheearth！Takecarenottowobbleabout，valiantSancho！Mindthoufallnot，forthyfallwillbeworsethanthatrashyouth\'swhotriedtosteerthechariotofhisfathertheSun！”
AsSanchoheardthevoices，clingingtightlytohismasterandwindinghisarmsroundhim，hesaid，“Senor，howdotheymakeoutwearegoingupsohigh，iftheirvoicesreachushereandtheyseemtobespeakingquiteclosetous？”
“Don\'tmindthat，Sancho，“saidDonQuixote；“forasaffairsofthissort，andflightslikethisareoutofthecommoncourseofthings，youcanseeandhearasmuchasyoulikeathousandleaguesoff；butdon\'tsqueezemesotightorthouwiltupsetme；andreallyIknownotwhatthouhasttobeuneasyorfrightenedat，forIcansafelyswearI
nevermountedasmoother-goingsteedallthedaysofmylife；onewouldfancyweneverstirredfromoneplace。Banishfear，myfriend，forindeedeverythingisgoingasitought，andwehavethewindastern。“
“That\'strue，“saidSancho，“forsuchastrongwindcomesagainstmeonthisside，thatitseemsasifpeoplewereblowingonmewithathousandpairofbellows；“whichwasthecase；theywerepuffingathimwithagreatpairofbellows；forthewholeadventurewassowellplannedbytheduke，theduchess，andtheirmajordomo，thatnothingwasomittedtomakeitperfectlysuccessful。
DonQuixotenow，feelingtheblast，said，“Beyondadoubt，Sancho，wemusthavealreadyreachedthesecondregionoftheair，wherethehailandsnowaregenerated；thethunder，thelightning，andthethunderboltsareengenderedinthethirdregion，andifwegoonascendingatthisrate，weshallshortlyplungeintotheregionoffire，andIknownothowtoregulatethispeg，soasnottomountupwhereweshallbeburned。“
Andnowtheybegantowarmtheirfaces，fromadistance，withtowthatcouldbeeasilysetonfireandextinguishedagain，fixedontheendofacane。OnfeelingtheheatSanchosaid，“MayIdieifwearenotalreadyinthatfireplace，orverynearit，foragoodpartofmybeardhasbeensinged，andIhaveamind，senor，touncoverandseewhereaboutsweare。“
“Donothingofthekind，“saidDonQuixote；“rememberthetruestoryofthelicentiateTorralvathatthedevilscarriedflyingthroughtheairridingonastickwithhiseyesshut；whointwelvehoursreachedRomeanddismountedatTorrediNona，whichisastreetofthecity，andsawthewholesackandstormingandthedeathofBourbon，andwasbackinMadridthenextmorning，wherehegaveanaccountofallhehadseen；andhesaidmoreoverthatashewasgoingthroughtheair，thedevilbadehimopenhiseyes，andhedidso，andsawhimselfsonearthebodyofthemoon，soitseemedtohim，thathecouldhavelaidholdofitwithhishand，andthathedidnotdaretolookattheearthlestheshouldbeseizedwithgiddiness。Sothat，Sancho，itwillnotdoforustouncoverourselves，forhewhohasusinchargewillberesponsibleforus；andperhapswearegaininganaltitudeandmountinguptoenableustodescendatoneswooponthekingdomofKandy，asthesakerorfalcondoesontheheron，soastoseizeithoweverhighitmaysoar；andthoughitseemstousnothalfanhoursinceweleftthegarden，believemewemusthavetravelledagreatdistance。“
“Idon\'tknowhowthatmaybe，“saidSancho；“allIknowisthatiftheSenoraMagallanesorMagalonawassatisfiedwiththiscroup，shecouldnothavebeenverytenderofflesh。“
Theduke，theduchess，andallinthegardenwerelisteningtotheconversationofthetwoheroes，andwerebeyondmeasureamusedbyit；andnow，desirousofputtingafinishingtouchtothisrareandwell-contrivedadventure，theyappliedalighttoClavileno\'stailwithsometow，andthehorse，beingfullofsquibsandcrackers，immediatelyblewupwithaprodigiousnoise，andbroughtDonQuixoteandSanchoPanzatothegroundhalfsinged。Bythistimethebeardedbandofduennas，theTrifaldiandall，hadvanishedfromthegarden，andthosethatremainedlaystretchedonthegroundasifinaswoon。DonQuixoteandSanchogotuprathershaken，and，lookingaboutthem，werefilledwithamazementatfindingthemselvesinthesamegardenfromwhichtheyhadstarted，andseeingsuchanumberofpeoplestretchedontheground；andtheirastonishmentwasincreasedwhenatonesideofthegardentheyperceivedatalllanceplantedintheground，andhangingfromitbytwocordsofgreensilkasmoothwhiteparchmentonwhichtherewasthefollowinginscriptioninlargegoldletters：“TheillustriousknightDonQuixoteofLaManchahas，bymerelyattemptingit，finishedandconcludedtheadventureoftheCountessTrifaldi，otherwisecalledtheDistressedDuenna；
Malambrunoisnowsatisfiedoneverypoint，thechinsoftheduennasarenowsmoothandclean，andKingDonClavijoandQueenAntonomasiaintheiroriginalform；andwhenthesquirelyflagellationshallhavebeencompleted，thewhitedoveshallfindherselfdeliveredfromthepestiferousgerfalconsthatpersecuteher，andinthearmsofherbelovedmate；forsuchisthedecreeofthesageMerlin，arch-enchanterofenchanters。“
AssoonasDonQuixotehadreadtheinscriptionontheparchmentheperceivedclearlythatitreferredtothedisenchantmentofDulcinea，andreturningheartythankstoheaventhathehadwithsolittledangerachievedsograndanexploitastorestoretotheirformercomplexionthecountenancesofthosevenerableduennas，headvancedtowardsthedukeandduchess，whohadnotyetcometothemselves，andtakingthedukebythehandhesaid，“Beofgoodcheer，worthysir，beofgoodcheer；it\'snothingatall；theadventureisnowoverandwithoutanyharmdone，astheinscriptionfixedonthispostshowsplainly。“
Thedukecametohimselfslowlyandlikeonerecoveringconsciousnessafteraheavysleep，andtheduchessandallwhohadfallenprostrateaboutthegardendidthesame，withsuchdemonstrationsofwonderandamazementthattheywouldhavealmostpersuadedonethatwhattheypretendedsoadroitlyinjesthadhappenedtotheminreality。Thedukereadtheplacardwithhalf-shuteyes，andthenrantoembraceDonQuixotewith-openarms，declaringhimtobethebestknightthathadeverbeenseeninanyage。SanchokeptlookingaboutfortheDistressedOne，toseewhatherfacewaslikewithoutthebeard，andifshewasasfairasherelegantpersonpromised；buttheytoldhimthat，theinstantClavilenodescendedflamingthroughtheairandcametotheground，thewholebandofduennaswiththeTrifaldivanished，andthattheywerealreadyshavedandwithoutastumpleft。
TheduchessaskedSanchohowhehadfaredonthatlongjourney，towhichSanchoreplied，“Ifelt，senora，thatwewereflyingthroughtheregionoffire，asmymastertoldme，andIwantedtouncovermyeyesforabit；butmymaster，whenIaskedleavetouncovermyself，wouldnotletme；butasIhavealittlebitofcuriosityaboutme，andadesiretoknowwhatisforbiddenandkeptfromme，quietlyandwithoutanyoneseeingmeIdrewasidethehandkerchiefcoveringmyeyeseversolittle，closetomynose，andfromunderneathlookedtowardstheearth，anditseemedtomethatitwasaltogethernobiggerthanagrainofmustardseed，andthatthemenwalkingonitwerelittlebiggerthanhazelnuts；soyoumayseehowhighwemusthavegottothen。“
Tothistheduchesssaid，“Sancho，myfriend，mindwhatyouaresaying；itseemsyoucouldnothaveseentheearth，butonlythemenwalkingonit；foriftheearthlookedtoyoulikeagrainofmustardseed，andeachmanlikeahazelnut，onemanalonewouldhavecoveredthewholeearth。“
“Thatistrue，“saidSancho，“butforallthatIgotaglimpseofabitofonesideofit，andsawitall。“
“Takecare，Sancho，“saidtheduchess，“withabitofonesideonedoesnotseethewholeofwhatonelooksat。“
“Idon\'tunderstandthatwayoflookingatthings，“saidSancho；
“IonlyknowthatyourladyshipwilldowelltobearinmindthataswewereflyingbyenchantmentsoImighthaveseenthewholeearthandallthemenbyenchantmentwhateverwayIlooked；andifyouwon\'tbelievethis，nomorewillyoubelievethat，uncoveringmyselfnearlytotheeyebrows，Isawmyselfsoclosetotheskythattherewasnotapalmandahalfbetweenmeandit；andbyeverythingthatIcanswearby，senora，itismightygreat！Anditsohappenedwecamebywherethesevengoatsare，andbyGodanduponmysoul，asinmyyouthIwasagoatherdinmyowncountry，assoonasIsawthemIfeltalongingtobeamongthemforalittle，andifIhadnotgivenwaytoitIthinkI\'dhaveburst。SoIcomeandtake，andwhatdoIdo？
withoutsayinganythingtoanybody，noteventomymaster，softlyandquietlyIgotdownfromClavilenoandamusedmyselfwiththegoats-whicharelikeviolets，likeflowers-fornighthree-quartersofanhour；andClavilenoneverstirredormovedfromonespot。“
“AndwhilethegoodSanchowasamusinghimselfwiththegoats，“saidtheduke，“howdidSenorDonQuixoteamusehimself？”
TowhichDonQuixotereplied，“Asallthesethingsandsuchlikeoccurrencesareoutoftheordinarycourseofnature，itisnowonderthatSanchosayswhathedoes；formyownpartIcanonlysaythatIdidnotuncovermyeyeseitheraboveorbelow，nordidIseeskyorearthorseaorshore。ItistrueIfeltthatIwaspassingthroughtheregionoftheair，andeventhatItouchedthatoffire；
butthatwepassedfartherIcannotbelieve；fortheregionoffirebeingbetweentheheavenofthemoonandthelastregionoftheair，wecouldnothavereachedthatheavenwherethesevengoatsSanchospeaksofarewithoutbeingburned；andaswewerenotburned，eitherSanchoislyingorSanchoisdreaming。“
“Iamneitherlyingnordreaming，“saidSancho；“onlyaskmethetokensofthosesamegoats，andyou\'llseebythatwhetherI\'mtellingthetruthornot。“
“Tellusthemthen，Sancho，“saidtheduchess。
“Twoofthem，“saidSancho，“aregreen，twoblood-red，twoblue，andoneamixtureofallcolours。“
“Anoddsortofgoat，that，“saidtheduke；“inthisearthlyregionofourswehavenosuchcolours；Imeangoatsofsuchcolours。“
“That\'sveryplain，“saidSancho；“ofcoursetheremustbeadifferencebetweenthegoatsofheavenandthegoatsoftheearth。“
“Tellme，Sancho，“saidtheduke，“didyouseeanyhe-goatamongthosegoats？”
“No，senor，“saidSancho；“butIhaveheardsaythatnoneeverpassedthehornsofthemoon。“
Theydidnotcaretoaskhimanythingmoreabouthisjourney，fortheysawhewasintheveintogoramblingallovertheheavensgivinganaccountofeverythingthatwentonthere，withouthavingeverstirredfromthegarden。Such，inshort，wastheendoftheadventureoftheDistressedDuenna，whichgavethedukeandduchesslaughingmatternotonlyforthetimebeing，butforalltheirlives，andSanchosomethingtotalkaboutforages，ifhelivedsolong；butDonQuixote，comingclosetohisear，saidtohim，“Sancho，asyouwouldhaveusbelievewhatyousawinheaven，I
requireyoutobelievemeastowhatIsawinthecaveofMontesinos；Isaynomore。“
CHAPTERXLII
OFTHECOUNSELSWHICHDONQUIXOTEGAVESANCHOPANZABEFOREHESET
OUTTOGOVERNTHEISLAND，TOGETHERWITHOTHERWELL-CONSIDEREDMATTERS
THEdukeandduchessweresowellpleasedwiththesuccessfulanddrollresultoftheadventureoftheDistressedOne，thattheyresolvedtocarryonthejoke，seeingwhatafitsubjecttheyhadtodealwithformakingitallpassforreality。SohavinglaidtheirplansandgiveninstructionstotheirservantsandvassalshowtobehavetoSanchoinhisgovernmentofthepromisedisland，thenextday，thatfollowingClavileno\'sflight，theduketoldSanchotoprepareandgetreadytogoandbegovernor，forhisislanderswerealreadylookingoutforhimasfortheshowersofMay。
Sanchomadehimanobeisance，andsaid，“EversinceIcamedownfromheaven，andfromthetopofitbeheldtheearth，andsawhowlittleitis，thegreatdesireIhadtobeagovernorhasbeenpartlycooledinme；forwhatistheregrandinbeingruleronagrainofmustardseed，orwhatdignityorauthorityingoverninghalfadozenmenaboutasbigashazelnuts；for，sofarasIcouldsee，therewerenomoreonthewholeearth？Ifyourlordshipwouldbesogoodastogivemeeversosmallabitofheaven，wereitnomorethanhalfaleague，I\'dratherhaveitthanthebestislandintheworld。“
“Recollect，Sancho，“saidtheduke，“Icannotgiveabitofheaven，nonotsomuchasthebreadthofmynail，toanyone；rewardsandfavoursofthatsortarereservedforGodalone。WhatIcangiveI
giveyou，andthatisareal，genuineisland，compact，wellproportioned，anduncommonlyfertileandfruitful，where，ifyouknowhowtouseyouropportunities，youmay，withthehelpoftheworld\'sriches，gainthoseofheaven。“
“Wellthen，“saidSancho，“lettheislandcome；andI\'lltryandbesuchagovernor，thatinspiteofscoundrelsI\'llgotoheaven；andit\'snotfromanycravingtoquitmyownhumbleconditionorbettermyself，butfromthedesireIhavetotrywhatittastesliketobeagovernor。“
“Ifyouoncemaketrialofit，Sancho，“saidtheduke，“you\'lleatyourfingersoffafterthegovernment，sosweetathingisittocommandandbeobeyed。Dependuponitwhenyourmastercomestobeemperorashewillbeyondadoubtfromthecoursehisaffairsaretaking，itwillbenoeasymattertowrestthedignityfromhim，andhewillbesoreandsorryathearttohavebeensolongwithoutbecomingone。“
“Senor，“saidSancho，“itismybeliefit\'sagoodthingtobeincommand，ifit\'sonlyoveradroveofcattle。“
“MayIbeburiedwithyou，Sancho，“saidtheduke，“butyouknoweverything；Ihopeyouwillmakeasgoodagovernorasyoursagacitypromises；andthatisallIhavetosay；andnowrememberto-morrowisthedayyoumustsetoutforthegovernmentoftheisland，andthiseveningtheywillprovideyouwiththeproperattireforyoutowear，andallthingsrequisiteforyourdeparture。“
“Letthemdressmeastheylike，“saidSancho；“howeverI\'mdressedI\'llbeSanchoPanza。“
“That\'strue，“saidtheduke；“butone\'sdressmustbesuitedtotheofficeorrankoneholds；foritwouldnotdoforajuristtodresslikeasoldier，orasoldierlikeapriest。You，Sancho，shallgopartlyasalawyer，partlyasacaptain，for，intheislandIamgivingyou，armsareneededasmuchasletters，andlettersasmuchasarms。“
“OflettersIknowbutlittle，“saidSancho，“forIdon\'tevenknowtheABC；butitisenoughformetohavetheChristusinmymemorytobeagoodgovernor。Asforarms，I\'llhandlethosetheygivemetillIdrop，andthen，Godbemyhelp！”
“Withsogoodamemory，“saidtheduke，“Sanchocannotgowronginanything。“
HereDonQuixotejoinedthem；andlearningwhatpassed，andhowsoonSanchowastogotohisgovernment，hewiththeduke\'spermissiontookhimbythehand，andretiredtohisroomwithhimforthepurposeofgivinghimadviceastohowhewastodemeanhimselfinhisoffice。Assoonastheyhadenteredthechamberheclosedthedoorafterhim，andalmostbyforcemadeSanchositdownbesidehim，andinaquiettonethusaddressedhim：“Igiveinfinitethankstoheaven，friendSancho，that，beforeIhavemetwithanygoodluck，fortunehascomeforwardtomeetthee。Iwhocounteduponmygoodfortunetodischargetherecompenseofthyservices，findmyselfstillwaitingforadvancement，whilethou，beforethetime，andcontrarytoallreasonableexpectation，seestthyselfblessedinthefulfillmentofthydesires。Somewillbribe，beg，solicit，riseearly，entreat，persist，withoutattainingtheobjectoftheirsuit；whileanothercomes，andwithoutknowingwhyorwherefore，findshimselfinvestedwiththeplaceorofficesomanyhavesuedfor；andhereitisthatthecommonsaying，\'Thereisgoodluckaswellasbadluckinsuits，\'applies。Thou，who，tomythinking，artbeyondalldoubtadullard，withoutearlyrisingornightwatchingortakinganytrouble，withthemerebreathofknight-errantrythathasbreatheduponthee，seestthyselfwithoutmoreadogovernorofanisland，asthoughitwereamerematterofcourse。ThisIsay，Sancho，thatthouattributenotthefavourthouhastreceivedtothineownmerits，butgivethankstoheaventhatdisposesmattersbeneficently，andsecondlythankstothegreatpowertheprofessionofknight-errantrycontainsinitself。Withaheart，then，inclinedtobelievewhatIhavesaidtothee，attend，myson，tothyCatoherewhowouldcounseltheeandbethypolestarandguidetodirectandpilottheetoasafehavenoutofthisstormyseawhereinthouartabouttoingulfthyself；forofficesandgreattrustsarenothingelsebutamightygulfoftroubles。
“Firstofall，myson，thoumustfearGod，forinthefearofhimiswisdom，andbeingwisethoucanstnoterrinaught。
“Secondly，thoumustkeepinviewwhatthouart，strivingtoknowthyself，themostdifficultthingtoknowthatthemindcanimagine。
Ifthouknowestthyself，itwillfollowthouwiltnotpuffthyselfuplikethefrogthatstrovetomakehimselfaslargeastheox；ifthoudost，therecollectionofhavingkeptpigsinthineowncountrywillserveastheuglyfeetforthewheelofthyfolly。“
“That\'sthetruth，“saidSancho；“butthatwaswhenIwasaboy；
afterwardswhenIwassomethingmoreofamanitwasgeeseIkept，notpigs。Buttomythinkingthathasnothingtodowithit；forallwhoaregovernorsdon\'tcomeofakinglystock。“
“True，“saidDonQuixote，“andforthatreasonthosewhoarenotofnobleoriginshouldtakecarethatthedignityoftheofficetheyholdheaccompaniedbyagentlesuavity，whichwiselymanagedwillsavethemfromthesneersofmalicethatnostationescapes。
“Gloryinthyhumblebirth，Sancho，andhenotashamedofsayingthouartpeasant-born；forwhenitisseenthouartnotashamednoonewillsethimselftoputtheetotheblush；andpridethyselfratheruponbeingoneoflowlyvirtuethanaloftysinner。Countlessaretheywho，bornofmeanparentage，haverisentothehighestdignities，pontificalandimperial，andofthetruthofthisIcouldgivetheeinstancesenoughtowearythee。
“Remember，Sancho，ifthoumakevirtuethyaim，andtakeaprideindoingvirtuousactions，thouwilthavenocausetoenvythosewhohaveprincelyandlordlyones，forbloodisaninheritance，butvirtueanacquisition，andvirtuehasinitselfaloneaworththatblooddoesnotpossess。
“Thisbeingso，ifperchanceanyoneofthykinsfolkshouldcometoseetheewhenthouartinthineisland，thouartnottorepelorslighthim，butonthecontrarytowelcomehim，entertainhim，andmakemuchofhim；forinsodoingthouwiltbeapprovedofheavenwhichisnotpleasedthatanyshoulddespisewhatithathmade，andwiltcomplywiththelawsofwell-orderednature。
“Ifthoucarriestthywifewiththeeanditisnotwellforthosethatadministergovernmentstobelongwithouttheirwives，teachandinstructher，andstrivetosmoothdownhernaturalroughness；forallthatmaybegainedbyawisegovernormaybelostandwastedbyaboorishstupidwife。
“Ifperchancethouartleftawidower-athingwhichmayhappen-andinvirtueofthyofficeseekestaconsortofhigherdegree，choosenotonetoservetheeforahook，orforafishing-rod，orforthehoodofthy\'won\'thaveit；\'forverily，Itellthee，forallthejudge\'swifereceives，thehusbandwillbeheldaccountableatthegeneralcallingtoaccount；wherehewillhaverepayindeathfourfold，itemsthatinlifeheregardedasnaught。
“Nevergobyarbitrarylaw，whichissomuchfavouredbyignorantmenwhoplumethemselvesoncleverness。
“Letthetearsofthepoormanfindwiththeemorecompassion，butnotmorejustice，thanthepleadingsoftherich。
“Strivetolaybarethetruth，aswellamidthepromisesandpresentsoftherichman，asamidthesobsandentreatiesofthepoor。
“Whenequitymayandshouldbebroughtintoplay，pressnottheutmostrigourofthelawagainsttheguilty；forthereputationofthesternjudgestandsnothigherthanthatofthecompassionate。
“Ifperchancethoupermittestthestaffofjusticetoswerve，letitbenotbytheweightofagift，butbythatofmercy。
“Ifitshouldhappentheetogivejudgmentinthecauseofonewhoisthineenemy，turnthythoughtsawayfromthyinjuryandfixthemonthejusticeofthecase。
“Letnotthineownpassionblindtheeinanotherman\'scause；fortheerrorsthouwiltthuscommitwillbemostfrequentlyirremediable；
orifnot，onlytoberemediedattheexpenseofthygoodnameandevenofthyfortune。
“Ifanyhandsomewomancometoseekjusticeofthee，turnawaythineeyesfromhertearsandthineearsfromherlamentations，andconsiderdeliberatelythemeritsofherdemand，ifthouwouldstnothavethyreasonsweptawaybyherweeping，andthyrectitudebyhersighs。
“Abusenotbywordhimwhomthouhasttopunishindeed，forthepainofpunishmentisenoughfortheunfortunatewithouttheadditionofthineobjurgations。
“Bearinmindthattheculpritwhocomesunderthyjurisdictionisbutamiserablemansubjecttoallthepropensitiesofourdepravednature，andsofarasmaybeinthypowershowthyselflenientandforbearing；forthoughtheattributesofGodareallequal，tooureyesthatofmercyisbrighterandloftierthanthatofjustice。
“Ifthoufollowestthesepreceptsandrules，Sancho，thydayswillbelong，thyfameeternal，thyrewardabundant，thyfelicityunutterable；thouwiltmarrythychildrenasthouwouldst；theyandthygrandchildrenwillbeartitles；thouwiltliveinpeaceandconcordwithallmen；and，whenlifedrawstoaclose，deathwillcometotheeincalmandripeoldage，andthelightandlovinghandsofthygreat-grandchildrenwillclosethineeyes。
“WhatIhavethusfaraddressedtotheeareinstructionsfortheadornmentofthymind；listennowtothosewhichtendtothatofthebody。“
CHAPTERXLIII
OFTHESECONDSETOFCOUNSELSDONQUIXOTEGAVESANCHOPANZA
WHO，hearingtheforegoingdiscourseofDonQuixote，wouldnothavesethimdownforapersonofgreatgoodsenseandgreaterrectitudeofpurpose？But，ashasbeenfrequentlyobservedinthecourseofthisgreathistory，heonlytalkednonsensewhenhetouchedonchivalry，andindiscussingallothersubjectsshowedthathehadaclearandunbiassedunderstanding；sothatateveryturnhisactsgavethelietohisintellect，andhisintellecttohisacts；
butinthecaseofthesesecondcounselsthathegaveSanchoheshowedhimselftohavealivelyturnofhumour，anddisplayedconspicuouslyhiswisdom，andalsohisfolly。
Sancholistenedtohimwiththedeepestattention，andendeavouredtofixhiscounselsinhismemory，likeonewhomeanttofollowthemandbytheirmeansbringthefullpromiseofhisgovernmenttoahappyissue。DonQuixote，then，wentontosay：
“Withregardtothemodeinwhichthoushouldstgovernthypersonandthyhouse，Sancho，thefirstchargeIhavetogivetheeistobeclean，andtocutthynails，notlettingthemgrowassomedo，whoseignorancemakesthemfancythatlongnailsareanornamenttotheirhands，asifthoseexcrescencestheyneglecttocutwerenails，andnotthetalonsofalizard-catchingkestrel-afilthyandunnaturalabuse。
“Gonotungirtandloose，Sancho；fordisorderedattireisasignofanunstablemind，unlessindeedtheslovenlinessandslacknessistohesetdowntocraft，aswasthecommonopinioninthecaseofJuliusCaesar。
“Ascertaincautiouslywhatthyofficemaybeworth；andifitwillallowtheetogiveliveriestothyservants，givethemrespectableandserviceable，ratherthanshowyandgayones，anddividethembetweenthyservantsandthepoor；thatistosay，ifthoucanstclothesixpages，clothethreeandthreepoormen，andthusthouwilthavepagesforheavenandpagesforearth；thevaingloriousneverthinkofthisnewmodeofgivingliveries。
“Eatnotgarlicnoronions，lesttheyfindoutthyboorishoriginbythesmell；walkslowlyandspeakdeliberately，butnotinsuchawayastomakeitseemthouartlisteningtothyself，forallaffectationisbad。
“Dinesparinglyandsupmoresparinglystill；forthehealthofthewholebodyisforgedintheworkshopofthestomach。
“Betemperateindrinking，bearinginmindthatwineinexcesskeepsneithersecretsnorpromises。
“Takecare，Sancho，nottochewonbothsides，andnottoeructinanybody\'spresence。“
“Eruct！”saidSancho；“Idon\'tknowwhatthatmeans。“
“Toeruct，Sancho，“saidDonQuixote，“meanstobelch，andthatisoneofthefilthiestwordsintheSpanishlanguage，thoughaveryexpressiveone；andthereforenicefolkhavehadrecoursetotheLatin，andinsteadofbelchsayeruct，andinsteadofbelchessayeructations；andifsomedonotunderstandthesetermsitmatterslittle，forcustomwillbringthemintouseinthecourseoftime，sothattheywillbereadilyunderstood；thisisthewayalanguageisenriched；customandthepublicareall-powerfulthere。“
“Intruth，senor，“saidSancho，“oneofthecounselsandcautionsImeantobearinmindshallbethis，nottobelch，forI\'mconstantlydoingit。“
“Eruct，Sancho，notbelch，“saidDonQuixote。
“Eruct，Ishallsayhenceforth，andIswearnottoforgetit，“
saidSancho。
“Likewise，Sancho，“saidDonQuixote，“thoumustnotminglesuchaquantityofproverbsinthydiscourseasthoudost；forthoughproverbsareshortmaxims，thoudostdragtheminsooftenbytheheadandshouldersthattheysavourmoreofnonsensethanofmaxims。“
“Godalonecancurethat，“saidSancho；“forIhavemoreproverbsinmethanabook，andwhenIspeaktheycomesothicktogetherintomymouththattheyfalltofightingamongthemselvestogetout；that\'swhymytongueletsflythefirstthatcome，thoughtheymaynotbepattothepurpose。ButI\'lltakecarehenceforwardtousesuchasbefitthedignityofmyoffice；for\'inahousewherethere\'splenty，supperissooncooked，\'and\'hewhobindsdoesnotwrangle，\'and\'thebell-ringer\'sinasafeberth，\'and\'givingandkeepingrequirebrains。\'“
“That\'sit，Sancho！”saidDonQuixote；“pack，tack，stringproverbstogether；nobodyishinderingthee！\'Mymotherbeatsme，andIgoonwithmytricks。\'Iambiddingtheeavoidproverbs，andhereinasecondthouhastshotoutawholelitanyofthem，whichhaveasmuchtodowithwhatwearetalkingaboutas\'overthehillsofUbeda。\'Mind，Sancho，Idonotsaythataproverbaptlybroughtinisobjectionable；buttopileupandstringtogetherproverbsatrandommakesconversationdullandvulgar。
“Whenthouridestonhorseback，donotgolollingwiththybodyonthebackofthesaddle，norcarrythylegsstifforstickingoutfromthehorse\'sbelly，noryetsitsolooselythatonewouldsupposethouwertonDapple；fortheseatonahorsemakesgentlemenofsomeandgroomsofothers。
“Bemoderateinthysleep；forhewhodoesnotriseearlydoesnotgetthebenefitoftheday；andremember，Sancho，diligenceisthemotherofgoodfortune，andindolence，itsopposite，neveryetattainedtheobjectofanhonestambition。
“ThelastcounselIwillgivetheenow，thoughitdoesnottendtobodilyimprovement，Iwouldhavetheecarrycarefullyinthymemory，forIbelieveitwillbenolessusefultotheethanthoseIhavegiventheealready，anditisthis-neverengageinadisputeaboutfamilies，atleastinthewayofcomparingthemonewithanother；
fornecessarilyoneofthosecomparedwillbebetterthantheother，andthouwiltbehatedbytheonethouhastdisparaged，andgetnothinginanyshapefromtheonethouhastexalted。
“Thyattireshallbehoseoffulllength，alongjerkin，andacloakatriflelonger；loosebreechesbynomeans，fortheyarebecomingneitherforgentlemennorforgovernors。
“Forthepresent，Sancho，thisisallthathasoccurredtometoadvisethee；astimegoesbyandoccasionsarisemyinstructionsshallfollow，ifthoutakecaretoletmeknowhowthouartcircumstanced。“
“Senor，“saidSancho，“Iseewellenoughthatallthesethingsyourworshiphassaidtomearegood，holy，andprofitable；butwhatusewilltheybetomeifIdon\'trememberoneofthem？Tobesurethataboutnotlettingmynailsgrow，andmarryingagainifIhavethechance，willnotslipoutofmyhead；butallthatotherhash，muddle，andjumble-Idon\'tandcan\'trecollectanymoreofitthanoflastyear\'sclouds；soitmustbegivenmeinwriting；forthoughIcan\'teitherreadorwrite，I\'llgiveittomyconfessor，todriveitintomeandremindmeofitwheneveritisnecessary。“
“Ah，sinnerthatIam！”saidDonQuixote，“howbaditlooksingovernorsnottoknowhowtoreadorwrite；forletmetellthee，Sancho，whenamanknowsnothowtoread，orisleft-handed，itarguesoneoftwothings；eitherthathewasthesonofexceedinglymeanandlowlyparents，orthathehimselfwassoincorrigibleandill-conditionedthatneithergoodcompanynorgoodteachingcouldmakeanyimpressiononhim。Itisagreatdefectthatthoulabourestunder，andthereforeIwouldhavetheelearnatanyratetosignthyname。“
“Icansignmynamewellenough，“saidSancho，“forwhenIwasstewardofthebrotherhoodinmyvillageIlearnedtomakecertainletters，likethemarksonbalesofgoods，whichtheytoldmemadeoutmyname。BesidesIcanpretendmyrighthandisdisabledandmakesomeoneelsesignforme，for\'there\'saremedyforeverythingexceptdeath；\'andasIshallbeincommandandholdthestaff，IcandoasI
like；moreover，\'hewhohasthealcaldeforhisfather-，\'andI\'llbegovernor，andthat\'shigherthanalcalde。Onlycomeandsee！Letthemmakelightofmeandabuseme；\'they\'llcomeforwoolandgobackshorn；\'\'whomGodloves，hishouseisknowntoHim；\'\'thesillysayingsoftherichpassforsawsintheworld；\'andasI\'llberich，beingagovernor，andatthesametimegenerous，asImeantobe，nofaultwillheseeninme。\'Onlymakeyourselfhoneyandtheflieswillsuckyou；\'\'asmuchasthouhastsomuchartthouworth，\'
asmygrandmotherusedtosay；and\'thoucansthavenorevengeofamanofsubstance。\'“
“Oh，God\'scurseuponthee，Sancho！”hereexclaimedDonQuixote；
“sixtythousanddevilsflyawaywiththeeandthyproverbs！Forthelasthourthouhastbeenstringingthemtogetherandinflictingthepangsoftortureonmewitheveryoneofthem。Thoseproverbswillbringtheetothegallowsoneday，Ipromisethee；thysubjectswilltakethegovernmentfromthee，ortherewillberevoltsamongthem。
Tellme，wheredostthoupickthemup，thoubooby？Howdostthouapplythem，thoublockhead？Forwithme，toutteroneandmakeitapplyproperly，IhavetosweatandlabourasifIweredigging。“
“ByGod，mastermine，“saidSancho，“yourworshipismakingafussaboutverylittle。WhythedevilshouldyoubevexedifImakeuseofwhatismyown？AndIhavegotnothingelse，noranyotherstockintradeexceptproverbsandmoreproverbs；andherearethreejustthisinstantcomeintomyhead，pattothepurposeandlikepearsinabasket；butIwon\'trepeatthem，for\'sagesilenceiscalledSancho。\'“
“That，Sancho，thouartnot，“saidDonQuixote；“fornotonlyartthounotsagesilence，butthouartpestilentprateandperversity；
stillIwouldliketoknowwhatthreeproverbshavejustnowcomeintothymemory，forIhavebeenturningovermineown-anditisagoodone-andnoneoccurstome。“
“Whatcanbebetter，“saidSancho，“than\'neverputthythumbsbetweentwobackteeth；\'and\'to“getoutofmyhouse“and“whatdoyouwantwithmywife？”thereisnoanswer；\'and\'whetherthepitcherhitsthestove，orthestovethepitcher，it\'sabadbusinessforthepitcher；\'allwhichfittoahair？Fornooneshouldquarrelwithhisgovernor，orhiminauthorityoverhim，becausehewillcomeofftheworst，ashedoeswhoputshisfingerbetweentwobackandiftheyarenotbackteethitmakesnodifference，solongastheyareteeth；andtowhateverthegovernormaysaythere\'snoanswer，anymorethanto\'getoutofmyhouse\'
and\'whatdoyouwantwithmywife？\'andthen，asforthataboutthestoneandthepitcher，ablindmancouldseethat。Sothathe\'whoseesthemoteinanother\'seyehadneedtoseethebeaminhisown，\'
thatitbenotsaidofhimself，\'thedeadwomanwasfrightenedattheonewithherthroatcut；\'andyourworshipknowswellthat\'thefoolknowsmoreinhisownhousethanthewisemaninanother\'s。\'“
“Nay，Sancho，“saidDonQuixote，“thefoolknowsnothing，eitherinhisownhouseorinanybodyelse\'s，fornowisestructureofanysortcanstandonafoundationoffolly；butletussaynomoreaboutit，Sancho，forifthougovernestbadly，thinewillhethefaultandminetheshame；butIcomfortmyselfwithhavingdonemydutyinadvisingtheeasearnestlyandaswiselyasIcould；andthusIamreleasedfrommyobligationsandmypromise。Godguidethee，Sancho，andgoverntheeinthygovernment，anddelivermefromthemisgivingI
havethatthouwiltturnthewholeislandupsidedown，athingImighteasilypreventbyexplainingtothedukewhatthouartandtellinghimthatallthatfatlittlepersonofthineisnothingelsebutasackfullofproverbsandsauciness。“
“Senor，“saidSancho，“ifyourworshipthinksI\'mnotfitforthisgovernment，Igiveituponthespot；forthemereblackofthenailofmysoulisdearertomethanmywholebody；andIcanlivejustaswell，simpleSancho，onbreadandonions，asgovernor，onpartridgesandcapons；andwhat\'smore，whilewe\'reasleepwe\'reallequal，greatandsmall，richandpoor。Butifyourworshiplooksintoit，youwillseeitwasyourworshipalonethatputmeontothisbusinessofgoverning；forIknownomoreaboutthegovernmentofislandsthanabuzzard；andifthere\'sanyreasontothinkthatbecauseofmybeingagovernorthedevilwillgetholdofme，I\'drathergoSanchotoheaventhangovernortohell。“
“ByGod，Sancho，“saidDonQuixote，“forthoselastwordsthouhastutteredalone，Iconsiderthoudeservesttobegovernorofathousandislands。Thouhastgoodnaturalinstincts，withoutwhichnoknowledgeisworthanything；commendthyselftoGod，andtrynottoswerveinthepursuitofthymainobject；Imean，alwaysmakeitthyaimandfixedpurposetodorightinallmattersthatcomebeforethee，forheavenalwayshelpsgoodintentions；andnowletusgotodinner，forIthinkmylordandladyarewaitingforus。“
CHAPTERXLIV
HOWSANCHOPANZAWASCONDUCTEDTOHISGOVERNMENT，ANDOFTHESTRANGE
ADVENTURETHATBEFELLDONQUIXOTEINTHECASTLE
ITiSstated，theysay，inthetrueoriginalofthishistory，thatwhenCideHametecametowritethischapter，hisinterpreterdidnottranslateitashewroteit-thatis，asakindofcomplainttheMoormadeagainsthimselfforhavingtakeninhandastorysodryandofsolittlevarietyasthisofDonQuixote，forhefoundhimselfforcedtospeakperpetuallyofhimandSancho，withoutventuringtoindulgeindigressionsandepisodesmoreseriousandmoreinteresting。Hesaid，too，thattogoon，mind，hand，penalwaysrestrictedtowritingupononesinglesubject，andspeakingthroughthemouthsofafewcharacters，wasintolerabledrudgery，theresultofwhichwasneverequaltotheauthor\'slabour，andthattoavoidthishehadintheFirstPartavailedhimselfofthedeviceofnovels，like“TheIll-advisedCuriosity，“and“TheCaptiveCaptain，“whichstand，asitwere，apartfromthestory；theothersaregiventherebeingincidentswhichoccurredtoDonQuixotehimselfandcouldnotbeomitted。Healsothought，hesays，thatmany，engrossedbytheinterestattachingtotheexploitsofDonQuixote，wouldtakenoneinthenovels，andpassthemoverhastilyorimpatientlywithoutnoticingtheeleganceandartoftheircomposition，whichwouldbeverymanifestweretheypublishedbythemselvesandnotasmereadjunctstothecrazesofDonQuixoteorthesimplicitiesofSancho。
ThereforeinthisSecondParthethoughtitbestnottoinsertnovels，eitherseparateorinterwoven，butonlyepisodes，somethinglikethem，arisingoutofthecircumstancesthefactspresent；andeventhesesparingly，andwithnomorewordsthansufficetomakethemplain；andasheconfinesandrestrictshimselftothenarrowlimitsofthenarrative，thoughhehasability；capacity，andbrainsenoughtodealwiththewholeuniverse，herequeststhathislaboursmaynotbedespised，andthatcreditbegivenhim，notaloneforwhathewrites，butforwhathehasrefrainedfromwriting。
Andsohegoesonwithhisstory，sayingthatthedayDonQuixotegavethecounselstoSancho，thesameafternoonafterdinnerhehandedthemtohiminwritingsothathemightgetsomeonetoreadthemtohim。Theyhadscarcely，however，beengiventohimwhenheletthemdrop，andtheyfellintothehandsoftheduke，whoshowedthemtotheduchessandtheywerebothamazedafreshatthemadnessandwitofDonQuixote。Tocarryonthejoke，then，thesameeveningtheydespatchedSanchowithalargefollowingtothevillagethatwastoservehimforanisland。Ithappenedthatthepersonwhohadhiminchargewasamajordomooftheduke\'s，amanofgreatdiscretionandhumour-andtherecanbenohumourwithoutdiscretion-andthesamewhoplayedthepartoftheCountessTrifaldiinthecomicalwaythathasbeenalreadydescribed；andthusqualified，andinstructedbyhismasterandmistressastohowtodealwithSancho，hecarriedouttheirschemeadmirably。NowitcametopassthatassoonasSanchosawthismajordomoheseemedinhisfeaturestorecognisethoseoftheTrifaldi，andturningtohismaster，hesaidtohim，“Senor，eitherthedevilwillcarrymeoff，hereonthisspot，righteousandbelieving，oryourworshipwillowntomethatthefaceofthismajordomooftheduke\'shereistheveryfaceoftheDistressedOne。“
DonQuixoteregardedthemajordomoattentively，andhavingdoneso，saidtoSancho，“Thereisnoreasonwhythedevilshouldcarrytheeoff，Sancho，eitherrighteousorbelieving-andwhatthoumeanestbythatIknownot；thefaceoftheDistressedOneisthatofthemajordomo，butforallthatthemajordomoisnottheDistressedOne；
forhisbeingsowouldinvolveamightycontradiction；butthisisnotthetimeforgoingintoquestionsofthesort，whichwouldbeinvolvingourselvesinaninextricablelabyrinth。Believeme，myfriend，wemustprayearnestlytoourLordthathedeliverusbothfromwickedwizardsandenchanters。“
“Itisnojoke，senor，“saidSancho，“forbeforethisIheardhimspeak，anditseemedexactlyasifthevoiceoftheTrifaldiwassoundinginmyears。Well，I\'llholdmypeace；butI\'lltakecaretobeonthelook-outhenceforthforanysignthatmaybeseentoconfirmordoawaywiththissuspicion。“
“Thouwiltdowell，Sancho，“saidDonQuixote，“andthouwiltletmeknowallthoudiscoverest，andallthatbefallstheeinthygovernment。“
Sanchoatlastsetoutattendedbyagreatnumberofpeople。Hewasdressedinthegarbofalawyer，withagabanoftawnywateredcamletoverallandamonteracapofthesamematerial，andmountedalaginetauponamule。Behindhim，inaccordancewiththeduke\'sorders，followedDapplewithbrandnewass-trappingsandornamentsofsilk，andfromtimetotimeSanchoturnedroundtolookathisass，sowellpleasedtohavehimwithhimthathewouldnothavechangedplaceswiththeemperorofGermany。Ontakingleavehekissedthehandsofthedukeandduchessandgothismaster\'sblessing，whichDonQuixotegavehimwithtears，andhereceivedblubbering。
LetworthySanchogoinpeace，andgoodlucktohim，GentleReader；andlookoutfortwobushelsoflaughter，whichtheaccountofhowhebehavedhimselfinofficewillgivethee。Inthemeantimeturnthyattentiontowhathappenedhismasterthesamenight，andifthoudostnotlaughthereat，atanyratethouwiltstretchthymouthwithagrin；forDonQuixote\'sadventuresmustbehonouredeitherwithwonderorwithlaughter。
Itisrecorded，then，thatassoonasSanchohadgone，DonQuixotefelthisloneliness，andhaditbeenpossibleforhimtorevokethemandateandtakeawaythegovernmentfromhimhewouldhavedoneso。
Theduchessobservedhisdejectionandaskedhimwhyhewasmelancholy；because，shesaid，ifitwasforthelossofSancho，thereweresquires，duennas，anddamselsinherhousewhowouldwaituponhimtohisfullsatisfaction。
“Thetruthis，senora，“repliedDonQuixote，“thatIdofeelthelossofSancho；butthatisnotthemaincauseofmylookingsad；
andofalltheoffersyourexcellencemakesme，Iacceptonlythegood-willwithwhichtheyaremade，andastotheremainderI
entreatofyourexcellencetopermitandallowmealonetowaituponmyselfinmychamber。“
“Indeed，SenorDonQuixote，“saidtheduchess，“thatmustnotbe；
fourofmydamsels，asbeautifulasflowers，shallwaituponyou。“
“Tome，“saidDonQuixote，“theywillnotbeflowers，butthornstopiercemyheart。They，oranythinglikethem，shallassoonentermychamberasfly。Ifyourhighnesswishestogratifymestillfurther，thoughIdeserveitnot，permitmetopleasemyself，andwaituponmyselfinmyownroom；forIplaceabarrierbetweenmyinclinationsandmyvirtue，andIdonotwishtobreakthisrulethroughthegenerosityyourhighnessisdisposedtodisplaytowardsme；and，inshort，Iwillsleepinmyclothes，soonerthanallowanyonetoundressme。“
“Saynomore，SenorDonQuixote，saynomore，“saidtheduchess；
“IassureyouIwillgiveordersthatnotevenafly，nottosayadamsel，shallenteryourroom。IamnottheonetounderminetheproprietyofSenorDonQuixote，foritstrikesmethatamonghismanyvirtuestheonethatispre-eminentisthatofmodesty。Yourworshipmayundressanddressinprivateandinyourownway，asyoupleaseandwhenyouplease，fortherewillbenoonetohinderyou；
andinyourchamberyouwillfindalltheutensilsrequisitetosupplythewantsofonewhosleepswithhisdoorlocked，totheendthatnonaturalneedscompelyoutoopenit。MaythegreatDulcineadelTobosoliveathousandyears，andmayherfameextendalloverthesurfaceoftheglobe，forshedeservestobelovedbyaknightsovaliantandsovirtuous；andmaykindheaveninfusezealintotheheartofourgovernorSanchoPanzatofinishoffhisdisciplinespeedily，sothattheworldmayoncemoreenjoythebeautyofsograndalady。“
TowhichDonQuixotereplied，“Yourhighnesshasspokenlikewhatyouare；fromthemouthofanobleladynothingbadcancome；andDulcineawillbemorefortunate，andbetterknowntotheworldbythepraiseofyourhighnessthanbyalltheeulogiesthegreatestoratorsonearthcouldbestowuponher。“
“Well，well，SenorDonQuixote，“saidtheduchess，isnearlysupper-time，andthedukeisisprobablywaiting；comeletusgotosupper，andretiretorestearly，forthejourneyyoumadeyesterdayfromKandywasnotsuchashortonebutthatitmusthavecausedyousomefatigue。“
“Ifeelnone，senora，“saidDonQuixote，“forIwouldgosofarastosweartoyourexcellencethatinallmylifeInevermountedaquieterbeast，orapleasanterpacedone，thanClavileno；andI
don\'tknowwhatcouldhaveinducedMalambrunotodiscardasteedsoswiftandsogentle，andburnitsorecklesslyashedid。“
“Probably，“saidtheduchess，“repentingoftheevilhehaddonetotheTrifaldiandcompany，andothers，andthecrimeshemusthavecommittedasawizardandenchanter，heresolvedtomakeawaywithalltheinstrumentsofhiscraft；andsoburnedClavilenoasthechiefone，andthatwhichmainlykepthimrestless，wanderingfromlandtoland；andbyitsashesandthetrophyoftheplacardthevalourofthegreatDonQuixoteofLaManchaisestablishedforever。“
DonQuixoterenewedhisthankstotheduchess；andhavingsupped，retiredtohischamberalone，refusingtoallowanyonetoenterwithhimtowaitonhim，suchwashisfearofencounteringtemptationsthatmightleadordrivehimtoforgethischastefidelitytohisladyDulcinea；forhehadalwayspresenttohismindthevirtueofAmadis，thatflowerandmirrorofknights-errant。Helockedthedoorbehindhim，andbythelightoftwowaxcandlesundressedhimself，butashewastakingoffhisstockings-Odisasterunworthyofsuchapersonage！-therecameaburst，notofsighs，oranythingbelyinghisdelicacyorgoodbreeding，butofsometwodozenstitchesinoneofhisstockings，thatmadeitlooklikeawindow-lattice。Theworthygentlemanwasbeyondmeasuredistressed，andatthatmomenthewouldhavegivenanounceofsilvertohavehadhalfadrachmofgreensilkthere；Isaygreensilk，becausethestockingsweregreen。