HereCideHameteexclaimedashewaswriting，“Opoverty，poverty！I
knownotwhatcouldhavepossessedthegreatCordovanpoettocallthee\'holygiftungratefullyreceived。\'AlthoughaMoor，IknowwellenoughfromtheintercourseIhavehadwithChristiansthatholinessconsistsincharity，humility，faith，obedience，andpoverty；butforallthat，Isayhemusthaveagreatdealofgodlinesswhocanfindanysatisfactioninbeingpoor；unless，indeed，itbethekindofpovertyoneoftheirgreatestsaintsrefersto，saying，\'possessallthingsasthoughyepossessedthemnot；\'whichiswhattheycallpovertyinspirit。Butthou，thatotherpoverty-foritisoftheeI
amspeakingnow-whydostthoulovetofalloutwithgentlemenandmenofgoodbirthmorethanwithotherpeople？Whydostthoucompelthemtosmearthecracksintheirshoes，andtohavethebuttonsoftheircoats，onesilk，anotherhair，andanotherglass？Whymusttheirruffsbealwayscrinkledlikeendiveleaves，andnotcrimpedwithacrimpingiron？”Fromthiswemayperceivetheantiquityofstarchandcrimpedruffs。Thenhegoeson：“Poorgentlemanofgoodfamily！
alwayscockeringuphishonour，diningmiserablyandinsecret，andmakingahypocriteofthetoothpickwithwhichhesalliesoutintothestreetaftereatingnothingtoobligehimtouseit！Poorfellow，I
say，withhisnervoushonour，fancyingtheyperceivealeagueoffthepatchonhisshoe，thesweat-stainsonhishat，theshabbinessofhiscloak，andthehungerofhisstomach！”
AllthiswasbroughthometoDonQuixotebytheburstingofhisstitches；however，hecomfortedhimselfonperceivingthatSanchohadleftbehindapairoftravellingboots，whichheresolvedtowearthenextday。Atlasthewenttobed，outofspiritsandheavyatheart，asmuchbecausehemissedSanchoasbecauseoftheirreparabledisastertohisstockings，thestitchesofwhichhewouldhaveeventakenupwithsilkofanothercolour，whichisoneofthegreatestsignsofpovertyagentlemancanshowinthecourseofhisnever-failingembarrassments。Heputoutthecandles；butthenightwaswarmandhecouldnotsleep；herosefromhisbedandopenedslightlyagratedwindowthatlookedoutonabeautifulgarden，andashedidsoheperceivedandheardpeoplewalkingandtalkinginthegarden。Hesethimselftolistenattentively，andthosebelowraisedtheirvoicessothathecouldhearthesewords：
“Urgemenottosing，Emerencia，forthouknowestthateversincethisstrangerenteredthecastleandmyeyesbeheldhim，Icannotsingbutonlyweep；besidesmyladyisalightratherthanaheavysleeper，andIwouldnotforallthewealthoftheworldthatshefoundushere；andevenifshewereasleepanddidnotwaken，mysingingwouldbeinvain，ifthisstrangeAEneas，whohascomeintomyneighbourhoodtofloutme，sleepsonandwakensnottohearit。“
“Heednotthat，dearAltisidora，“repliedavoice；“theduchessisnodoubtasleep，andeverybodyinthehousesavethelordofthyheartanddisturberofthysoul；forjustnowIperceivedhimopenthegratedwindowofhischamber，sohemustbeawake；sing，mypoorsufferer，inalowsweettonetotheaccompanimentofthyharp；andeveniftheduchesshearsuswecanlaytheblameontheheatofthenight。“
“Thatisnotthepoint，Emerencia，“repliedAltisidora，“itisthatIwouldnotthatmysingingshouldlaybaremyheart，andthatIshouldbethoughtalightandwantonmaidenbythosewhoknownotthemightypoweroflove；butcomewhatmay；betterablushonthecheeksthanasoreintheheart；“andhereaharpsoftlytouchedmadeitselfheard。AshelistenedtoallthisDonQuixotewasinastateofbreathlessamazement，forimmediatelythecountlessadventureslikethis，withwindows，gratings，gardens，serenades，lovemakings，andlanguishings，thathehadreadofinhistrashybooksofchivalry，cametohismind。Heatonceconcludedthatsomedamseloftheduchess\'swasinlovewithhim，andthathermodestyforcedhertokeepherpassionsecret。Hetrembledlestheshouldfall，andmadeaninwardresolutionnottoyield；andcommendinghimselfwithallhismightandsoultohisladyDulcineahemadeuphismindtolistentothemusic；andtoletthemknowhewastherehegaveapretendedsneeze，atwhichthedamselswerenotalittledelighted，foralltheywantedwasthatDonQuixoteshouldhearthem。Sohavingtunedtheharp，Altisidora，runningherhandacrossthestrings，beganthisballad：
Othouthatartaboveinbed，Betweenthehollandsheets，A-lyingtherefromnighttillmorn，Withoutstretchedlegsasleep；
Othou，mostvaliantknightofallThefamedMancheganbreed，OfpurityandvirtuemoreThangoldofAraby；
Giveearuntoasufferingmaid，Well-grownbutevil-starr\'d，ForthosetwosunsofthinehavelitAfirewithinherheart。
Adventuresseekingthoudostrove，Toothersbringingwoe；
Thouscatterestwounds，but，ah，thebalmTohealthemdostwithhold！
Say，valiantyouth，andsomayGodThyenterprisesspeed，DidstthouthelightmidLibya\'ssandsOrJaca\'srocksfirstsee？
Didscalyserpentsgivetheesuck？
Whonursedtheewhenababe？
Wertcradledintheforestrude，Orgloomymountaincave？
ODulcineamaybeproud，Thatplumpandlustymaid；
ForshealonehathhadthepowerAtigerfiercetotame。
AndsheforthisshallfamousbeFromTagustoJarama，FromManzanarestoGenil，FromDuerotoArlanza。
FainwouldIchangewithher，andgiveApetticoattoboot，ThebestandbravestthatIhave，Alltrimmedwithgoldgalloon。
OfortobethehappyfairThymightyarmsenfold，OrevensitbesidethybedAndscratchthydustypoll！
Irave，-tofavourssuchastheseUnworthytoaspire；
ThyfeettoticklewereenoughForonesomeanasI。
Whatcaps，whatslipperssilver-laced，WouldIontheebestow！
Whatdamaskbreechesmakeforthee；
Whatfinelonghollandcloaks！
AndIwouldgivetheepearlsthatshouldAsbigasoak-gallsshow；
SomatchlessbigthateachmightwellBecalledthegreat“Alone。“
MancheganNero，looknotdownFromthyTarpeianRockUponthisburningheart，noraddThefuelofthywrath。
AvirginsoftandyoungamI，Notyetfifteenyearsold；
I\'monlythreemonthspastfourteen，Iswearuponmysoul。
IhobblenotnordoIlimp，AllblemishI\'mwithout，AndasIwalkmylilylocksAretrailingontheground。
Andthoughmynoseberatherflat，Andthoughmymouthbewide，MyteethliketopazesexaltMybeautytothesky。
Thouknowestthatmyvoiceissweet，Thatisifthoudosthear；
AndIammouldedinaformSomewhatbelowthemean。
Thesecharms，andmanymore，arethine，Spoilstothyspearandbowall；
AdamselofthishouseamI，BynameAltisidora。
Herethelayoftheheart-strickenAltisidoracametoanend，whilethewarmlywooedDonQuixotebegantofeelalarm；andwithadeepsighhesaidtohimself，“OthatIshouldbesuchanunluckyknightthatnodamselcanseteyesonmebutfallsinlovewithme！
OthatthepeerlessDulcineashouldbesounfortunatethattheycannotletherenjoymyincomparableconstancyinpeace！Whatwouldyewithher，yequeens？Whydoyepersecuteher，yeempresses？Whyyepursueher，yevirginsoffromfourteentofifteen？Leavetheunhappybeingtotriumph，rejoiceandgloryinthelotlovehasbeenpleasedtobestowuponherinsurrenderingmyheartandyieldingupmysoultoher。Yelove-smittenhost，knowthattoDulcineaonlyIamdoughandsugar-paste，flinttoallothers；forherIamhoney，foryoualoes。
FormeDulcineaaloneisbeautiful，wise，virtuous，graceful，andhigh-bred，andallothersareill-favoured，foolish，light，andlow-born。Naturesentmeintotheworldtobehersandnoother\'s；
Altisidoramayweeporsing，theladyforwhosesaketheybelabouredmeinthecastleoftheenchantedMoormaygivewaytodespair，butImustbeDulcinea\'s，boiledorroast，pure，courteous，andchaste，inspiteofallthemagic-workingpowersonearth。“Andwiththatheshutthewindowwithabang，and，asmuchoutoftemperandoutofsortsasifsomegreatmisfortunehadbefallenhim，stretchedhimselfonhisbed，wherewewillleavehimforthepresent，asthegreatSanchoPanza，whoisabouttosetuphisfamousgovernment，nowdemandsourattention。
CHAPTERXLV
OFHOWTHEGREATSANCHOPANZATOOKPOSSESSIONOFHISISLAND，AND
OFHOWHEMADEABEGINNINGINGOVERNING
OPERPETUALdiscovereroftheantipodes，torchoftheworld，eyeofheaven，sweetstimulatorofthewater-coolers！Thimbraeushere，Phoebusthere，nowarcher，nowphysician，fatherofpoetry，inventorofmusic；thouthatalwaysrisestand，notwithstandingappearances，neversettest！Tothee，OSun，bywhoseaidmanbegettethman，totheeIappealtohelpmeandlightenthedarknessofmywitthatImaybeabletoproceedwithscrupulousexactitudeingivinganaccountofthegreatSanchoPanza\'sgovernment；forwithouttheeIfeelmyselfweak，feeble，anduncertain。
Tocometothepoint，then-Sanchowithallhisattendantsarrivedatavillageofsomethousandinhabitants，andoneofthelargestthedukepossessed。TheyinformedhimthatitwascalledtheislandofBarataria，eitherbecausethenameofthevillagewasBaratario，orbecauseofthejokebywayofwhichthegovernmenthadbeenconferreduponhim。Onreachingthegatesofthetown，whichwasawalledone，themunicipalitycameforthtomeethim，thebellsrangoutapeal，andtheinhabitantsshowedeverysignofgeneralsatisfaction；andwithgreatpomptheyconductedhimtotheprincipalchurchtogivethankstoGod，andthenwithburlesqueceremoniestheypresentedhimwiththekeysofthetown，andacknowledgedhimasperpetualgovernoroftheislandofBarataria。Thecostume，thebeard，andthefatsquatfigureofthenewgovernorastonishedallthosewhowerenotinthesecret，andevenallwhowere，andtheywerenotafew。Finally，leadinghimoutofthechurchtheycarriedhimtothejudgmentseatandseatedhimonit，andtheduke\'smajordomosaidtohim，“Itisanancientcustominthisisland，senorgovernor，thathewhocomestotakepossessionofthisfamousislandisboundtoansweraquestionwhichshallbeputtohim，andwhichmustheasomewhatknottyanddifficultone；andbyhisanswerthepeopletakethemeasureoftheirnewgovernor\'swit，andhailwithjoyordeplorehisarrivalaccordingly。“
WhilethemajordomowasmakingthisspeechSanchowasgazingatseverallargelettersinscribedonthewalloppositehisseat，andashecouldnotreadheaskedwhatthatwasthatwaspaintedonthewall。Theanswerwas，“Senor，thereiswrittenandrecordedthedayonwhichyourlordshiptookpossessionofthisisland，andtheinscriptionsays，\'Thisday，theso-and-soofsuch-and-suchamonthandyear，SenorDonSanchoPanzatookpossessionofthisisland；
manyyearsmayheenjoyit。\'“
“AndwhomdotheycallDonSanchoPanza？”askedSancho。
“Yourlordship，“repliedthemajordomo；“fornootherPanzabuttheonewhoisnowseatedinthatchairhaseverenteredthisisland。“
“Wellthen，letmetellyou，brother，“saidSancho，“Ihaven\'tgotthe\'Don，\'norhasanyoneofmyfamilyeverhadit；mynameisplainSanchoPanza，andSanchowasmyfather\'sname，andSanchowasmygrandfather\'sandtheywereallPanzas，withoutanyDonsorDonastackedon；IsuspectthatinthisislandtherearemoreDonsthanstones；butnevermind；GodknowswhatImean，andmaybeifmygovernmentlastsfourdaysI\'llweedouttheseDonsthatnodoubtareasgreatanuisanceasthemidges，they\'resoplenty。Letthemajordomogoonwithhisquestion，andI\'llgivethebestanswerI
can，whetherthepeopledeploreornot。“
Atthisinstanttherecameintocourttwooldmen，onecarryingacanebywayofawalking-stick，andtheonewhohadnosticksaid，“Senor，sometimeagoIlentthisgoodmantengold-crownsingoldtogratifyhimanddohimaservice，ontheconditionthathewastoreturnthemtomewheneverIshouldaskforthem。AlongtimepassedbeforeIaskedforthem，forIwouldnotputhimtoanygreaterstraitstoreturnthemthanhewasinwhenIlentthemtohim；butthinkinghewasgrowingcarelessaboutpaymentIaskedforthemonceandseveraltimes；andnotonlywillhenotgivethemback，buthedeniesthatheowesthem，andsaysIneverlenthimanysuchcrowns；
orifIdid，thatherepaidthem；andIhavenowitnesseseitheroftheloan，orthepayment，forheneverpaidme；Iwantyourworshiptoputhimtohisoath，andifheswearshereturnedthemtomeIforgivehimthedebthereandbeforeGod。“
“Whatsayyoutothis，goodoldman，youwiththestick？”saidSancho。
Towhichtheoldmanreplied，“Iadmit，senor，thathelentthemtome；butletyourworshiploweryourstaff，andasheleavesittomyoath，I\'llswearthatIgavethemback，andpaidhimreallyandtruly。“
Thegovernorloweredthestaff，andashedidsotheoldmanwhohadthestickhandedittotheotheroldmantoholdforhimwhileheswore，asifhefounditinhisway；andthenlaidhishandonthecrossofthestaff，sayingthatitwastruethetencrownsthatweredemandedofhimhadbeenlenthim；butthathehadwithhisownhandgiventhembackintothehandoftheother，andthathe，notrecollectingit，wasalwaysaskingforthem。
Seeingthisthegreatgovernoraskedthecreditorwhatanswerhehadtomaketowhathisopponentsaid。Hesaidthatnodoubthisdebtorhadtoldthetruth，forhebelievedhimtobeanhonestmanandagoodChristian，andhehimselfmusthaveforgottenwhenandhowhehadgivenhimbackthecrowns；andthatfromthattimeforthhewouldmakenofurtherdemanduponhim。
Thedebtortookhisstickagain，andbowinghisheadleftthecourt。
Observingthis，andhow，withoutanotherword，hemadeoff，andobservingtootheresignationoftheplaintiff，Sanchoburiedhisheadinhisbosomandremainedforashortspaceindeepthought，withtheforefingerofhisrighthandonhisbrowandnose；thenheraisedhisheadandbadethemcallbacktheoldmanwiththestick，forhehadalreadytakenhisdeparture。Theybroughthimback，andassoonasSanchosawhimhesaid，“Honestman，givemethatstick，forIwantit。“
“Willingly，“saidtheoldman；“hereitissenor，“andheputitintohishand。
Sanchotookitand，handingittotheotheroldman，saidtohim，“Go，andGodbewithyou；fornowyouarepaid。“
“I，senor！”returnedtheoldman；“why，isthiscaneworthtengold-crowns？”
“Yes，“saidthegovernor，“orifnotIamthegreatestdoltintheworld；nowyouwillseewhetherIhavegottheheadpiecetogovernawholekingdom；“andheorderedthecanetobebrokenintwo，there，inthepresenceofall。Itwasdone，andinthemiddleofittheyfoundtengold-crowns。Allwerefilledwithamazement，andlookedupontheirgovernorasanotherSolomon。Theyaskedhimhowhehadcometotheconclusionthatthetencrownswereinthecane；hereplied，thatobservinghowtheoldmanwhosworegavethesticktohisopponentwhilehewastakingtheoath，andsworethathehadreallyandtrulygivenhimthecrowns，andhowassoonashehaddoneswearingheaskedforthestickagain，itcameintohisheadthatthesumdemandedmustbeinsideit；andfromthishesaiditmightbeseenthatGodsometimesguidesthosewhogovernintheirjudgments，eventhoughtheymaybefools；besideshehadhimselfheardthecurateofhisvillagementionjustsuchanothercase，andhehadsogoodamemory，thatifitwasnotthatheforgoteverythinghewishedtoremember，therewouldnotbesuchamemoryinalltheisland。Toconclude，theoldmenwentoff，onecrestfallen，andtheotherinhighcontentment，allwhowerepresentwereastonished，andhewhowasrecordingthewords，deeds，andmovementsofSanchocouldnotmakeuphismindwhetherhewastolookuponhimandsethimdownasafoolorasamanofsense。
Assoonasthiscasewasdisposedof，therecameintocourtawomanholdingonwithatightgriptoamandressedlikeawell-to-docattledealer，andshecameforwardmakingagreatoutcryandexclaiming，“Justice，senorgovernor，justice！andifIdon\'tgetitonearthI\'llgolookforitinheaven。Senorgovernorofmysoul，thiswickedmancaughtmeinthemiddleofthefieldshereandusedmybodyasifitwasanill-washedrag，and，woeisme！gotfrommewhatIhadkeptthesethree-and-twentyyearsandmore，defendingitagainstMoorsandChristians，nativesandstrangers；
andIalwaysashardasanoak，andkeepingmyselfaspureasasalamanderinthefire，orwoolamongthebrambles，forthisgoodfellowtocomenowwithcleanhandstohandleme！”
“Itremainstobeprovedwhetherthisgallanthascleanhandsornot，“saidSancho；andturningtothemanheaskedhimwhathehadtosayinanswertothewoman\'scharge。
Heallinconfusionmadeanswer，“Sirs，Iamapoorpigdealer，andthismorningIleftthevillagetosellsavingyourpresence
fourpigs，andbetweenduesandcribbingstheygotoutofmelittlelessthantheworthofthem。AsIwasreturningtomyvillageIfellinontheroadwiththisgooddame，andthedevilwhomakesacoilandamessoutofeverything，yokedustogether。Ipaidherfairly，butshenotcontentedlaidholdofmeandneverletgountilshebroughtmehere；shesaysIforcedher，butsheliesbytheoathIswearoramreadytoswear；andthisisthewholetruthandeveryparticleofit。“
Thegovernoronthisaskedhimifhehadanymoneyinsilverabouthim；hesaidhehadabouttwentyducatsinaleatherpurseinhisbosom。Thegovernorbadehimtakeitoutandhandittothecomplainant；heobeyedtrembling；thewomantookit，andmakingathousandsalaamstoallandprayingtoGodforthelonglifeandhealthofthesenorgovernorwhohadsuchregardfordistressedorphansandvirgins，shehurriedoutofcourtwiththepursegraspedinbothherhands，firstlooking，however，toseeifthemoneyitcontainedwassilver。
AssoonasshewasgoneSanchosaidtothecattledealer，whosetearswerealreadystartingandwhoseeyesandheartwerefollowinghispurse，“Goodfellow，goafterthatwomanandtakethepursefromher，byforceeven，andcomebackwithithere；“andhedidnotsayittoonewhowasafoolordeaf，forthemanwasofflikeaflashoflightning，andrantodoashewasbid。
Allthebystanderswaitedanxiouslytoseetheendofthecase，andpresentlybothmanandwomancamebackatevenclosergripsthanbefore，shewithherpetticoatupandthepurseinthelapofit，andhestrugglinghardtotakeitfromher，butalltonopurpose，sostoutwasthewoman\'sdefence，sheallthewhilecryingout，“JusticefromGodandtheworld！seehere，senorgovernor，theshamelessnessandboldnessofthisvillain，whointhemiddleofthetown，inthemiddleofthestreet，wantedtotakefrommethepurseyourworshipbadehimgiveme。“
“Anddidhetakeit？”askedthegovernor。
“Takeit！”saidthewoman；“I\'dletmylifebetakenfrommesoonerthanthepurse。AprettychildI\'dbe！It\'sanothersortofcattheymustthrowinmyface，andnotthatpoorscurvyknave。Pincersandhammers，malletsandchiselswouldnotgetitoutofmygrip；
no，norlions\'claws；thesoulfromoutofmybodyfirst！”
“Sheisright，“saidtheman；“Iownmyselfbeatenandpowerless；
IconfessIhaven\'tthestrengthtotakeitfromher；“andheletgohisholdofher。
Uponthisthegovernorsaidtothewoman，“Letmeseethatpurse，myworthyandsturdyfriend。“Shehandedittohimatonce，andthegovernorreturnedittotheman，andsaidtotheunforcedmistressofforce，“Sister，ifyouhadshownasmuch，oronlyhalfasmuch，spiritandvigourindefendingyourbodyasyouhaveshownindefendingthatpurse，thestrengthofHerculescouldnothaveforcedyou。Beoff，andGodspeedyou，andbadlucktoyou，anddon\'tshowyourfaceinallthisisland，orwithinsixleaguesofitonanyside，underpainoftwohundredlashes；beoffatonce，Isay，youshameless，cheatingshrew。“
Thewomanwascowedandwentoffdisconsolately，hangingherhead；
andthegovernorsaidtotheman，“Honestman，gohomewithyourmoney，andGodspeedyou；andforthefuture，ifyoudon\'twanttoloseit，seethatyoudon\'ttakeitintoyourheadtoyokewithanybody。“Themanthankedhimasclumsilyashecouldandwenthisway，andthebystanderswereagainfilledwithadmirationattheirnewgovernor\'sjudgmentsandsentences。
Next，twomen，oneapparentlyafarmlabourer，andtheotheratailor，forhehadapairofshearsinhishand，presentedthemselvesbeforehim，andthetailorsaid，“Senorgovernor，thislabourerandIcomebeforeyourworshipbyreasonofthishonestmancomingtomyshopyesterdayforsavingeverybody\'spresenceI\'mapassedtailor，Godbethanked，andputtingapieceofclothintomyhandsandaskingme，\'Senor，willtherebeenoughinthisclothtomakemeacap？\'MeasuringtheclothIsaidtherewould。Heprobablysuspected-asIsupposed，andIsupposedright-thatIwantedtostealsomeofthecloth，ledtothinksobyhisownrogueryandthebadopinionpeoplehaveoftailors；andhetoldmetoseeiftherewouldheenoughfortwo。Iguessedwhathewouldbeat，andIsaid\'yes。\'
He，stillfollowinguphisoriginalunworthynotion，wentonaddingcapaftercap，andI\'yes\'after\'yes，\'untilwegotasfarasfive。
Hehasjustthismomentcomeforthem；Igavethemtohim，buthewon\'tpaymeforthemaking；onthecontrary，hecallsuponmetopayhim，orelsereturnhiscloth。“
“Isallthistrue，brother？”saidSancho。
“Yes，“repliedtheman；“butwillyourworshipmakehimshowthefivecapshehasmademe？”
“Withallmyheart，“saidthetailor；anddrawinghishandfromunderhiscloakheshowedfivecapsstuckuponthefivefingersofit，andsaid，“therearethecapsthisgoodmanasksfor；andbyGodanduponmyconscienceIhaven\'tascrapofclothleft，andI\'lllettheworkbeexaminedbytheinspectorsofthetrade。“
Allpresentlaughedatthenumberofcapsandthenoveltyofthesuit；Sanchosethimselftothinkforamoment，andthensaid，“Itseemstomethatinthiscaseitisnotnecessarytodeliverlong-windedarguments，butonlytogiveoff-handthejudgmentofanhonestman；andsomydecisionisthatthetailorlosethemakingandthelabourerthecloth，andthatthecapsgototheprisonersinthegaol，andlettherebenomoreaboutit。“
Ifthepreviousdecisionaboutthecattledealer\'spurseexcitedtheadmirationofthebystanders，thisprovokedtheirlaughter；however，thegovernor\'sorderswereafterallexecuted。Allthis，havingbeentakendownbyhischronicler，wasatoncedespatchedtotheduke，whowaslookingoutforitwithgreateagerness；andhereletusleavethegoodSancho；forhismaster，sorelytroubledinmindbyAltisidora\'smusic，haspressingclaimsuponusnow。
CHAPTERXLVI
OFTHETERRIBLEBELLANDCATFRIGHTTHATDONQUIXOTEGOTINTHE
COURSEOFTHEENAMOUREDALTISIDORA\'SWOOING
WEleftDonQuixotewrappedupinthereflectionswhichthemusicoftheenamournedmaidAltisidorahadgivenriseto。Hewenttobedwiththem，andjustlikefleastheywouldnotlethimsleeporgetamoment\'srest，andthebrokenstitchesofhisstockingshelpedthem。
ButasTimeisfleetandnoobstaclecanstayhiscourse，hecameridingonthehours，andmorningverysoonarrived。SeeingwhichDonQuixotequittedthesoftdown，and，nowiseslothful，dressedhimselfinhischamoissuitandputonhistravellingbootstohidethedisastertohisstockings。Hethrewoverhimhisscarletmantle，putonhisheadamonteraofgreenvelvettrimmedwithsilveredging，flungacrosshisshoulderthebaldricwithhisgoodtrenchantsword，tookupalargerosarythathealwayscarriedwithhim，andwithgreatsolemnityandprecisionofgaitproceededtotheantechamberwherethedukeandduchesswerealreadydressedandwaitingforhim。Butashepassedthroughagallery，Altisidoraandtheotherdamsel，herfriend，werelyinginwaitforhim，andtheinstantAltisidorasawhimshepretendedtofaint，whileherfriendcaughtherinherlap，andbeganhastilyunlacingthebosomofherdress。
DonQuixoteobservedit，andapproachingthemsaid，“Iknowverywellwhatthisseizurearisesfrom。“
“Iknownotfromwhat，“repliedthefriend，“forAltisidoraisthehealthiestdamselinallthishouse，andIhaveneverheardhercomplainallthetimeIhaveknownher。Aplagueonalltheknights-errantintheworld，iftheybeallungrateful！Goaway，SenorDonQuixote；forthispoorchildwillnotcometoherselfagainsolongasyouarehere。“
TowhichDonQuixotereturned，“Domethefavour，senora，toletalutebeplacedinmychamberto-night；andIwillcomfortthispoormaidentothebestofmypower；forintheearlystagesofloveapromptdisillusionisanapprovedremedy；“andwiththisheretired，soasnottoberemarkedbyanywhomightseehimthere。
HehadscarcelywithdrawnwhenAltisidora，recoveringfromherswoon，saidtohercompanion，“Thelutemustbeleft，fornodoubtDonQuixoteintendstogiveussomemusic；andbeinghisitwillnotbebad。“
Theywentatoncetoinformtheduchessofwhatwasgoingon，andoftheluteDonQuixoteaskedfor，andshe，delightedbeyondmeasure，plottedwiththedukeandhertwodamselstoplayhimatrickthatshouldbeamusingbutharmless；andinhighgleetheywaitedfornight，whichcamequicklyasthedayhadcome；andasfortheday，thedukeandduchessspentitincharmingconversationwithDonQuixote。
Wheneleveno\'clockcame，DonQuixotefoundaguitarinhischamber；
hetriedit，openedthewindow，andperceivedthatsomepersonswerewalkinginthegarden；andhavingpassedhisfingersoverthefretsoftheguitarandtuneditaswellashecould，hespatandclearedhischest，andthenwithavoicealittlehoarsebutfull-toned，hesangthefollowingballad，whichhehadhimselfthatdaycomposed：
MightyLovetheheartsofmaidensDothunsettleandperplex，AndtheinstrumentheusesMostofallisidleness。
Sewing，stitching，anylabour，Havingalwaysworktodo，TothepoisonLoveinstillethIstheantidotemostsure。
Andtoproper-mindedmaidensWhodesirethematron\'snameModesty\'samarriageportion，Modestytheirhighestpraise。
Menofprudenceanddiscretion，Courtiersgayandgallantknights，Withthewantondamselsdally，Butthemodesttaketowife。
Therearepassions，transient，fleeting，Lovesinhostelriesdeclar\'d，Sunriseloves，withsunsetended，Whentheguesthathgonehisway。
Lovethatspringsupswiftandsudden，Hereto-day，to-morrowflown，Passes，leavesnotracebehindit，Leavesnoimageonthesoul。
PaintingthatislaidonpaintingMakethnodisplayorshow；
Whereonebeauty\'sinpossessionTherenoothercantakehold。
DulcineadelTobosoPaintedonmyheartIwear；
Neverfromitstablets，never，Canherimagebeeras\'d。
ThequalityofallinloversMostesteemedisconstancy；
\'Tisbythisthatloveworkswonders，Thisexaltsthemtotheskies。
DonQuixotehadgotsofarwithhissong，towhichtheduke，theduchess，Altisidora，andnearlythewholehouseholdofthecastlewerelistening，whenallofasuddenfromagalleryabovethatwasexactlyoverhiswindowtheyletdownacordwithmorethanahundredbellsattachedtoit，andimmediatelyafterthatdischargedagreatsackfullofcats，whichalsohadbellsofsmallersizetiedtotheirtails。Suchwasthedinofthebellsandthesquallingofthecats，thatthoughthedukeandduchesswerethecontriversofthejoketheywerestartledbyit，whileDonQuixotestoodparalysedwithfear；
andasluckwouldhaveit，twoorthreeofthecatsmadetheirwayinthroughthegratingofhischamber，andflyingfromonesidetotheother，madeitseemasiftherewasalegionofdevilsatlargeinit。
Theyextinguishedthecandlesthatwereburningintheroom，andrushedaboutseekingsomewayofescape；thecordwiththelargebellsneverceasedrisingandfalling；andmostofthepeopleofthecastle，notknowingwhatwasreallythematter，wereattheirwits\'endwithastonishment。DonQuixotesprangtohisfeet，anddrawinghissword，beganmakingpassesatthegrating，shoutingout，“Avaunt，malignantenchanters！avaunt，yewitchcraft-workingrabble！IamDonQuixoteofLaMancha，againstwhomyourevilmachinationsavailnotnorhaveanypower。“Andturninguponthecatsthatwererunningabouttheroom，hemadeseveralcutsatthem。Theydashedatthegratingandescapedbyit，saveonethat，findingitselfhardpressedbytheslashesofDonQuixote\'ssword，flewathisfaceandheldontohisnosetoothandnail，withthepainofwhichhebegantoshouthisloudest。Thedukeandduchesshearingthis，andguessingwhatitwas，ranwithallhastetohisroom，andasthepoorgentlemanwasstrivingwithallhismighttodetachthecatfromhisface，theyopenedthedoorwithamaster-keyandwentinwithlightsandwitnessedtheunequalcombat。Thedukeranforwardtopartthecombatants，butDonQuixotecriedoutaloud，“Letnoonetakehimfromme；leavemehandtohandwiththisdemon，thiswizard，thisenchanter；Iwillteachhim，Imyself，whoDonQuixoteofLaManchais。“Thecat，however，nevermindingthesethreats，snarledandheldon；butatlastthedukepulleditoffandflungitoutofthewindow。
DonQuixotewasleftwithafaceasfullofholesasasieveandanosenotinverygoodcondition，andgreatlyvexedthattheydidnotlethimfinishthebattlehehadbeensostoutlyfightingwiththatvillainofanenchanter。TheysentforsomeoilofJohn\'swort，andAltisidoraherselfwithherownfairhandsbandagedallthewoundedparts；andasshedidsoshesaidtohiminalowvoice。“Allthesemishapshavebefallenthee，hardheartedknight，forthesinofthyinsensibilityandobstinacy；andGodgrantthysquireSanchomayforgettowhiphimself，sothatthatdearlybelovedDulcineaofthinemayneverbereleasedfromherenchantment，thatthoumayestnevercometoherbed，atleastwhileIwhoadoretheeamalive。“
ToallthisDonQuixotemadenoanswerexcepttoheavedeepsighs，andthenstretchedhimselfonhisbed，thankingthedukeandduchessfortheirkindness，notbecausehestoodinanyfearofthatbell-ringingrabbleofenchantersincatshape，butbecauseherecognisedtheirgoodintentionsincomingtohisrescue。Thedukeandduchesslefthimtoreposeandwithdrewgreatlygrievedattheunfortunateresultofthejoke；astheyneverthoughttheadventurewouldhavefallensoheavyonDonQuixoteorcosthimsodear，foritcosthimfivedaysofconfinementtohisbed，duringwhichhehadanotheradventure，pleasanterthanthelateone，whichhischroniclerwillnotrelatejustnowinorderthathemayturnhisattentiontoSanchoPanza，whowasproceedingwithgreatdiligenceanddrolleryinhisgovernment。
CHAPTERXLVII
WHEREINISCONTINUEDTHEACCOUNTOFHOWSANCHOPANZACONDUCTED
HIMSELFINHISGOVERNMENT
THEhistorysaysthatfromthejusticecourttheycarriedSanchotoasumptuouspalace，whereinaspaciouschambertherewasatablelaidoutwithroyalmagnificence。TheclarionssoundedasSanchoenteredtheroom，andfourpagescameforwardtopresenthimwithwaterforhishands，whichSanchoreceivedwithgreatdignity。Themusicceased，andSanchoseatedhimselfattheheadofthetable，fortherewasonlythatseatplaced，andnomorethanonecoverlaid。Apersonage，whoitappearedafterwardswasaphysician，placedhimselfstandingbyhissidewithawhalebonewandinhishand。
Theythenliftedupafinewhiteclothcoveringfruitandagreatvarietyofdishesofdifferentsorts；onewholookedlikeastudentsaidgrace，andapageputalacedbibonSancho，whileanotherwhoplayedthepartofheadcarverplacedadishoffruitbeforehim。
Buthardlyhadhetastedamorselwhenthemanwiththewandtouchedtheplatewithit，andtheytookitawayfrombeforehimwiththeutmostcelerity。Thecarver，however，broughthimanotherdish，andSanchoproceededtotryit；butbeforehecouldgetatit，nottosaytasteit，alreadythewandhadtoucheditandapagehadcarrieditoffwiththesamepromptitudeasthefruit。Sanchoseeingthiswaspuzzled，andlookingfromonetoanotheraskedifthisdinnerwastobeeatenafterthefashionofajugglerytrick。
Tothishewiththewandreplied，“Itisnottobeeaten，senorgovernor，exceptasisusualandcustomaryinotherislandswheretherearegovernors。I，senor，amaphysician，andIampaidasalaryinthisislandtoserveitsgovernorsassuch，andIhaveamuchgreaterregardfortheirhealththanformyown，studyingdayandnightandmakingmyselfacquaintedwiththegovernor\'sconstitution，inordertobeabletocurehimwhenhefallssick。ThechiefthingIhavetodoistoattendathisdinnersandsuppersandallowhimtoeatwhatappearstometobefitforhim，andkeepfromhimwhatIthinkwilldohimharmandbeinjurioustohisstomach；andthereforeIorderedthatplateoffruittoberemovedasbeingtoomoist，andthatotherdishIorderedtoheremovedasbeingtoohotandcontainingmanyspicesthatstimulatethirst；forhewhodrinksmuchkillsandconsumestheradicalmoisturewhereinlifeconsists。“
“Wellthen，“saidSancho，“thatdishofroastpartridgestherethatseemssosavourywillnotdomeanyharm。“
Tothisthephysicianreplied，“OfthosemylordthegovernorshallnoteatsolongasIlive。“
“Whyso？”saidSancho。
“Because，“repliedthedoctor，“ourmasterHippocrates，thepolestarandbeaconofmedicine，saysinoneofhisaphorismsomnissaturatiomala，perdicisautempessima，whichmeans\'allrepletionisbad，butthatofpartridgeistheworstofall。“
“Inthatcase，“saidSancho，“letsenordoctorseeamongthedishesthatareonthetablewhatwilldomemostgoodandleastharm，andletmeeatit，withouttappingitwithhisstick；forbythelifeofthegovernor，andsomayGodsuffermetoenjoyit，butI\'mdyingofhunger；andinspiteofthedoctorandallhemaysay，todenymefoodisthewaytotakemylifeinsteadofprolongingit。“
“Yourworshipisright，senorgovernor，“saidthephysician；“andthereforeyourworship，Iconsider，shouldnoteatofthosestewedrabbitsthere，becauseitisafurrykindoffood；ifthatvealwerenotroastedandservedwithpickles，youmighttryit；butitisoutofthequestion。“
“Thatbigdishthatissmokingfartheroff，“saidSancho，“seemstometobeanollapodrida，andoutofthediversityofthingsinsuchollas，Ican\'tfailtolightuponsomethingtastyandgoodforme。“
“Absit，“saidthedoctor；“farfromusbeanysuchbasethought！
Thereisnothingintheworldlessnourishingthananollapodrida；tocanons，orrectorsofcolleges，orpeasants\'weddingswithyourollaspodridas，butletushavenoneofthemonthetablesofgovernors，whereeverythingthatispresentshouldbedelicateandrefined；andthereasonis，thatalways，everywhereandbyeverybody，simplemedicinesaremoreesteemedthancompoundones，forwecannotgowronginthosethataresimple，whileinthecompoundwemay，bymerelyalteringthequantityofthethingscomposingthem。ButwhatIamofopinionthegovernorshouldcatnowinordertopreserveandfortifyhishealthisahundredorsoofwafercakesandafewthinslicesofconserveofquinces，whichwillsettlehisstomachandhelphisdigestion。“
Sanchoonhearingthisthrewhimselfbackinhischairandsurveyedthedoctorsteadily，andinasolemntoneaskedhimwhathisnamewasandwherehehadstudied。
Hereplied，“Myname，senorgovernor，isDoctorPedroReciodeAgueroIamanativeofaplacecalledTirteafuerawhichliesbetweenCaracuelandAlmodovardelCampo，ontheright-handside，andIhavethedegreeofdoctorfromtheuniversityofOsuna。“
TowhichSancho，glowingalloverwithrage，returned，“ThenletDoctorPedroReciodeMalaguero，nativeofTirteafuera，aplacethat\'sontheright-handsideaswegofromCaracueltoAlmodovardelCampo，graduateofOsuna，getoutofmypresenceatonce；orIswearbythesunI\'lltakeacudgel，andbydintofblows，beginningwithhim，I\'llnotleaveadoctorinthewholeisland；atleastofthoseIknowtobeignorant；forastolearned，wise，sensiblephysicians，themIwillreverenceandhonourasdivinepersons。OncemoreIsayletPedroReciogetoutofthisorI\'lltakethischairIamsittingonandbreakitoverhishead。Andiftheycallmetoaccountforit，I\'llclearmyselfbysayingIservedGodinkillingabaddoctor-ageneralexecutioner。Andnowgivemesomethingtoeat，orelsetakeyourgovernment；foratradethatdoesnotfeeditsmasterisnotworthtwobeans。“
Thedoctorwasdismayedwhenhesawthegovernorinsuchapassion，andhewouldhavemadeaTirteafueraoutoftheroombutthatthesameinstantapost-hornsoundedinthestreet；andthecarverputtinghisheadoutofthewindowturnedroundandsaid，“It\'sacourierfrommylordtheduke，nodoubtwithsomedespatchofimportance。“
Thecouriercameinallsweatingandflurried，andtakingapaperfromhisbosom，placeditinthegovernor\'shands。Sanchohandedittothemajordomoandbadehimreadthesuperscription，whichranthus：ToDonSanchoPanza，GovernoroftheIslandofBarataria，intohisownhandsorthoseofhissecretary。Sanchowhenheheardthissaid，“Whichofyouismysecretary？”“Iam，senor，“saidoneofthosepresent，“forIcanreadandwrite，andamaBiscayan。““Withthataddition，“saidSancho，“youmightbesecretarytotheemperorhimself；openthispaperandseewhatitsays。“Thenew-bornsecretaryobeyed，andhavingreadthecontentssaidthematterwasonetobediscussedinprivate。Sanchoorderedthechambertobecleared，themajordomoandthecarveronlyremaining；sothedoctorandtheotherswithdrew，andthenthesecretaryreadtheletter，whichwasasfollows：
Ithascometomyknowledge，SenorDonSanchoPanza，thatcertainenemiesofmineandoftheislandareabouttomakeafuriousattackuponitsomenight，Iknownotwhen。Itbehovesyoutobeonthealertandkeepwatch，thattheysurpriseyounot。Ialsoknowbytrustworthyspiesthatfourpersonshaveenteredthetownindisguiseinordertotakeyourlife，becausetheystandindreadofyourgreatcapacity；
keepyoureyesopenandtakeheedwhoapproachesyoutoaddressyou，andeatnothingthatispresentedtoyou。Iwilltakecaretosendyouaidifyoufindyourselfindifficulty，butinallthingsyouwillactasmaybeexpectedofyourjudgment。Fromthisplace，theSixteenthofAugust，atfourinthemorning。
Yourfriend，THEDUKE
Sanchowasastonished，andthosewhostoodbymadebelievetobesotoo，andturningtothemajordomohesaidtohim，“Whatwehavegottodofirst，anditmustbedoneatonce，istoputDoctorReciointhelock-up；forifanyonewantstokillmeitishe，andbyaslowdeathandtheworstofall，whichishunger。“
“Likewise，“saidthecarver，“itismyopinionyourworshipshouldnoteatanythingthatisonthistable，forthewholewasapresentfromsomenuns；andastheysay，\'behindthecrossthere\'sthedevil。\'“
“Idon\'tdenyit，“saidSancho；“soforthepresentgivemeapieceofbreadandfourpoundsorsoofgrapes；nopoisoncancomeinthem；forthefactisIcan\'tgoonwithouteating；andifwearetobepreparedforthesebattlesthatarethreateninguswemustbewellprovisioned；foritisthetripesthatcarrytheheartandnottheheartthetripes。Andyou，secretary，answermylordthedukeandtellhimthatallhiscommandsshallbeobeyedtotheletter，ashedirects；andsayfrommetomyladytheduchessthatIkissherhands，andthatIbegofhernottoforgettosendmyletterandbundletomywifeTeresaPanzabyamessenger；andIwilltakeitasagreatfavourandwillnotfailtoserveherinallthatmayliewithinmypower；andasyouareaboutityoumayencloseakissofthehandtomymasterDonQuixotethathemayseeIamgratefulbread；andasagoodsecretaryandagoodBiscayanyoumayaddwhateveryoulikeandwhateverwillcomeinbest；andnowtakeawaythisclothandgivemesomethingtoeat，andI\'llbereadytomeetallthespiesandassassinsandenchantersthatmaycomeagainstmeormyisland。“
Atthisinstantapageenteredsaying，“Hereisafarmeronbusiness，whowantstospeaktoyourlordshiponamatterofgreatimportance，hesays。“
“It\'sveryodd，“saidSancho，“thewaysofthesemenonbusiness；isitpossibletheycanbesuchfoolsasnottoseethatanhourlikethisisnohourforcomingonbusiness？Wewhogovernandwewhoarejudges-arewenotmenoffleshandblood，andarewenottobeallowedthetimerequiredfortakingrest，unlessthey\'dhaveusmadeofmarble？ByGodandonmyconscience，ifthegovernmentremainsinmyhandswhichIhaveanotionitwon\'t，I\'llbringmorethanonemanonbusinesstoorder。However，tellthisgoodmantocomein；
buttakecarefirstofallthatheisnotsomespyoroneofmyassassins。“
“No，mylord，“saidthepage，“forhelookslikeasimplefellow，andeitherIknowverylittleorheisasgoodasgoodbread。“
“Thereisnothingtobeafraidof，“saidthemajordomo，“forweareallhere。“
“Woulditbepossible，carver，“saidSancho，“nowthatDoctorPedroRecioisnothere，toletmeeatsomethingsolidandsubstantial，ifitwereevenapieceofbreadandanonion？”
“To-nightatsupper，“saidthecarver，“theshortcomingsofthedinnershallbemadegood，andyourlordshipshallbefullycontented。“
“Godgrantit，“saidSancho。
Thefarmernowcamein，awell-favouredmanthatonemightseeathousandleaguesoffwasanhonestfellowandagoodsoul。Thefirstthinghesaidwas，“Whichisthelordgovernorhere？”
“Whichshoulditbe，“saidthesecretary，“buthewhoisseatedinthechair？”
“ThenIhumblemyselfbeforehim，“saidthefarmer；andgoingonhiskneesheaskedforhishand，tokissit。Sanchorefusedit，andbadehimstandupandsaywhathewanted。Thefarmerobeyed，andthensaid，“Iamafarmer，senor，anativeofMiguelturra，avillagetwoleaguesfromCiudadReal。“
“AnotherTirteafuera！”saidSancho；“sayon，brother；IknowMiguelturraverywellIcantellyou，forit\'snotveryfarfrommyowntown。“
“Thecaseisthis，senor，“continuedthefarmer，“thatbyGod\'smercyIammarriedwiththeleaveandlicenceoftheholyRomanCatholicChurch；Ihavetwosons，students，andtheyoungerisstudyingtobecomebachelor，andtheeldertobelicentiate；Iamawidower，formywifedied，ormoreproperlyspeaking，abaddoctorkilledheronmyhands，givingherapurgewhenshewaswithchild；
andifithadpleasedGodthatthechildhadbeenborn，andwasaboy，Iwouldhaveputhimtostudyfordoctor，thathemightnotenvyhisbrothersthebachelorandthelicentiate。“
“Sothatifyourwifehadnotdied，orhadnotbeenkilled，youwouldnotnowbeawidower，“saidSancho。
“No，senor，certainlynot，“saidthefarmer。
“We\'vegotthatmuchsettled，“saidSancho；“geton，brother，forit\'smorebed-timethanbusiness-time。“
“Wellthen，“saidthefarmer，“thissonofminewhoisgoingtobeabachelor，fellinloveinthesaidtownwithadamselcalledClaraPerlerina，daughterofAndresPerlerino，averyrichfarmer；andthisnameofPerlerinesdoesnotcometothembyancestryordescent，butbecauseallthefamilyareparalytics，andforabetternametheycallthemPerlerines；thoughtotellthetruththedamselisasfairasanOrientalpearl，andlikeaflowerofthefield，ifyoulookatherontherightside；ontheleftnotsomuch，foronthatsideshewantsaneyethatshelostbysmall-pox；andthoughherfaceisthicklyanddeeplypitted，thosewholovehersaytheyarenotpitsthatarethere，butthegraveswheretheheartsofherloversareburied。Sheissocleanlythatnottosoilherfaceshecarrieshernoseturnedup，astheysay，sothatonewouldfancyitwasrunningawayfromhermouth；andwithallthisshelooksextremelywell，forshehasawidemouth；andbutforwantingtenoradozenteethandgrindersshemightcompareandcompetewiththecomeliest。OfherlipsIsaynothing，fortheyaresofineandthinthat，iflipsmightbereeled，onemightmakeaskeinofthem；butbeingofadifferentcolourfromordinarylipstheyarewonderful，fortheyaremottled，blue，green，andpurple-letmylordthegovernorpardonmeforpaintingsominutelythecharmsofherwhosometimeorotherwillbemydaughter；forIloveher，andIdon\'tfindheramiss。“
“Paintwhatyouwill，“saidSancho；“Ienjoyyourpainting，andifI
haddinedtherecouldbenodessertmoretomytastethanyourportrait。“
“ThatIhavestilltofurnish，“saidthefarmer；“butatimewillcomewhenwemaybeableifwearenotnow；andIcantellyou，senor，ifIcouldpainthergracefulnessandhertallfigure，itwouldastonishyou；butthatisimpossiblebecausesheisbentdoublewithherkneesuptohermouth；butforallthatitiseasytoseethatifshecouldstandupshe\'dknockherheadagainsttheceiling；andshewouldhavegivenherhandtomybachelorerethis，onlythatshecan\'tstretchitout，forit\'scontracted；butstillonecanseeitseleganceandfinemakebyitslongfurrowednails。“
“Thatwilldo，brother，“saidSancho；“consideryouhavepaintedherfromheadtofoot；whatisityouwantnow？Cometothepointwithoutallthisbeatingaboutthebush，andallthesescrapsandadditions。“
“Iwantyourworship，senor，“saidthefarmer，“todomethefavourofgivingmealetterofrecommendationtothegirl\'sfather，begginghimtobesogoodastoletthismarriagetakeplace，aswearenotill-matchedeitherinthegiftsoffortuneorofnature；fortotellthetruth，senorgovernor，mysonispossessedofadevil，andthereisnotadaybuttheevilspiritstormenthimthreeorfourtimes；andfromhavingoncefallenintothefire，hehashisfacepuckereduplikeapieceofparchment，andhiseyeswateryandalwaysrunning；buthehasthedispositionofanangel，andifitwasnotforbelabouringandpummellinghimselfhe\'dbeasaint。“
“Isthereanythingelseyouwant，goodman？”saidSancho。
“There\'sanotherthingI\'dlike，“saidthefarmer，“butI\'mafraidtomentionit；however，outitmust；forafterallIcan\'tletitberottinginmybreast，comewhatmay。Imean，senor，thatI\'dlikeyourworshiptogivemethreehundredorsixhundredducatsasahelptomybachelor\'sportion，tohelphiminsettinguphouse；fortheymust，inshort，livebythemselves，withoutbeingsubjecttotheinterferencesoftheirfathers-in-law。“
“Justseeifthere\'sanythingelseyou\'dlike，“saidSancho，“anddon\'tholdbackfrommentioningitoutofbashfulnessormodesty。“
“No，indeedthereisnot，“saidthefarmer。
Themomenthesaidthisthegovernorstartedtohisfeet，andseizingthechairhehadbeensittingonexclaimed，“Byallthat\'sgood，youill-bred，boorishDonBumpkin，ifyoudon\'tgetoutofthisatonceandhideyourselffrommysight，I\'lllayyourheadopenwiththischair。Youwhoresonrascal，youdevil\'sownpainter，andisitatthishouryoucometoaskmeforsixhundredducats！
HowshouldIhavethem，youstinkingbrute？AndwhyshouldIgivethemtoyouifIhadthem，youknaveandblockhead？WhathaveItodowithMiguelturraorthewholefamilyofthePerlerines？GetoutIsay，orbythelifeofmylordthedukeI\'lldoasIsaid。You\'renotfromMiguelturra，butsomeknavesentherefromhelltotemptme。Why，youvillain，Ihavenotyethadthegovernmenthalfaday，andyouwantmetohavesixhundredducatsalready！”
Thecarvermadesignstothefarmertoleavetheroom，whichhedidwithhisheaddown，andtoallappearanceinterrorlestthegovernorshouldcarryhisthreatsintoeffect，fortherogueknewverywellhowtoplayhispart。
ButletusleaveSanchoinhiswrath，andpeacebewiththemall；
andletusreturntoDonQuixote，whomweleftwithhisfacebandagedanddoctoredafterthecatwounds，ofwhichhewasnotcuredforeightdays；andononeofthesetherebefellhimwhatCideHametepromisestorelatewiththatexactitudeandtruthwithwhichheiswonttosetfortheverythingconnectedwiththisgreathistory，howeverminuteitmaybe。
CHAPTERXLVIII
OFWHATBEFELLDONQUIXOTEWITHDONARODRIGUEZ，THEDUCHESS\'S
DUENNA，TOGETHERWITHOTHEROCCURRENCESWORTHYOFRECORDANDETERNAL
REMEMBRANCE
EXCEEDINGLYmoodyanddejectedwasthesorelywoundedDonQuixote，withhisfacebandagedandmarked，notbythehandofGod，butbytheclawsofacat，mishapsincidentaltoknight-errantry。Sixdaysheremainedwithoutappearinginpublic，andonenightashelayawakethinkingofhismisfortunesandofAltisidora\'spursuitofhim，heperceivedthatsomeonewasopeningthedoorofhisroomwithakey，andheatoncemadeuphismindthattheenamoureddamselwascomingtomakeanassaultuponhischastityandputhimindangeroffailinginthefidelityheowedtohisladyDulcineadelToboso。“No，“
saidhe，firmlypersuadedofthetruthofhisideaandhesaiditloudenoughtobeheard，“thegreatestbeautyuponearthshallnotavailtomakemerenouncemyadorationofherwhomIbearstampedandgravedinthecoreofmyheartandthesecretdepthsofmybowels；
bethou，ladymine，transformedintoaclumsycountrywench，orintoanymphofgoldenTagusweavingawebofsilkandgold，letMerlinorMontesinosholdtheecaptivewheretheywill；whereerthouart，thouartmine，andwhere\'erIam，musthethine。“Theveryinstanthehadutteredthesewords，thedooropened。Hestooduponthebedwrappedfromheadtofootinayellowsatincoverlet，withacaponhishead，andhisfaceandhismoustachestiedup，hisfacebecauseofthescratches，andhismoustachestokeepthemfromdroopingandfallingdown，inwhichtrimhelookedthemostextraordinaryscarecrowthatcouldbeconceived。Hekepthiseyesfixedonthedoor，andjustashewasexpectingtoseethelove-smittenandunhappyAltisidoramakeherappearance，hesawcominginamostvenerableduenna，inalongwhite-borderedveilthatcoveredandenvelopedherfromheadtofoot。Betweenthefingersofherlefthandsheheldashortlightedcandle，whilewithherrightsheshadedittokeepthelightfromhereyes，whichwerecoveredbyspectaclesofgreatsize，andsheadvancedwithnoiselesssteps，treadingverysoftly。
DonQuixotekeptaneyeuponherfromhiswatchtower，andobservinghercostumeandnotinghersilence，heconcludedthatitmustbesomewitchorsorceressthatwascominginsuchaguisetoworkhimsomemischief，andhebegancrossinghimselfatagreatrate。
Thespectrestilladvanced，andonreachingthemiddleoftheroom，lookedupandsawtheenergywithwhichDonQuixotewascrossinghimself；andifhewasscaredbyseeingsuchafigureashers，shewasterrifiedatthesightofhis；forthemomentshesawhistallyellowformwiththecoverletandthebandagesthatdisfiguredhim，shegavealoudscream，andexclaiming，“Jesus！what\'sthisIsee？”
letfallthecandleinherfright，andthenfindingherselfinthedark，turnedabouttomakeoff，butstumblingonherskirtsinherconsternation，shemeasuredherlengthwithamightyfall。
DonQuixoteinhistrepidationbegansaying，“Iconjurethee，phantom，orwhateverthouart，tellmewhatthouartandwhatthouwouldstwithme。Ifthouartasoulintorment，sayso，andallthatmypowerscandoIwilldoforthee；forIamaCatholicChristianandlovetodogoodtoalltheworld，andtothisendIhaveembracedtheorderofknight-errantrytowhichIbelong，theprovinceofwhichextendstodoinggoodeventosoulsinpurgatory。“
Theunfortunateduennahearingherselfthusconjured，byherownfearguessedDonQuixote\'sandinalowplaintivevoiceanswered，“SenorDonQuixote-ifsobeyouareindeedDonQuixote-Iamnophantomorspectreorsoulinpurgatory，asyouseemtothink，butDonaRodriguez，duennaofhonourtomyladytheduchess，andIcometoyouwithoneofthosegrievancesyourworshipiswonttoredress。“
“Tellme，SenoraDonaRodriguez，“saidDonQuixote，“doyouperchancecometotransactanygo-betweenbusiness？BecauseImusttellyouIamnotavailableforanybody\'spurpose，thankstothepeerlessbeautyofmyladyDulcineadelToboso。Inshort，SenoraDonaRodriguez，ifyouwillleaveoutandputasidealllovemessages，youmaygoandlightyourcandleandcomeback，andwewilldiscussallthecommandsyouhaveformeandwhateveryouwish，savingonly，asIsaid，allseductivecommunications。“
“Icarrynobody\'smessages，senor，“saidtheduenna；“littleyouknowme。Nay，I\'mnotfarenoughadvancedinyearstotaketoanysuchchildishtricks。GodbepraisedIhaveasoulinmybodystill，andallmyteethandgrindersinmymouth，exceptoneortwothatthecolds，socommoninthisAragoncountry，haverobbedmeof。Butwaitalittle，whileIgoandlightmycandle，andIwillreturnimmediatelyandlaymysorrowsbeforeyouasbeforeonewhorelievesthoseofalltheworld；“andwithoutstayingforananswershequittedtheroomandleftDonQuixotetranquillymeditatingwhilehewaitedforher。Athousandthoughtsatoncesuggestedthemselvestohimonthesubjectofthisnewadventure，anditstruckhimasbeingilldoneandworseadvisedinhimtoexposehimselftothedangerofbreakinghisplightedfaithtohislady；andsaidhetohimself，“Whoknowsbutthatthedevil，beingwilyandcunning，maybetryingnowtoentrapmewithaduenna，havingfailedwithempresses，queens，duchesses，marchionesses，andcountesses？ManyatimehaveIhearditsaidbymanyamanofsensethathewillsoonerofferyouaflat-nosedwenchthanaroman-nosedone；andwhoknowsbutthisprivacy，thisopportunity，thissilence，mayawakenmysleepingdesires，andleadmeinthesemylatteryearstofallwhereIhavenevertripped？Incasesofthissortitisbettertofleethantoawaitthebattle。
ButImustbeoutofmysensestothinkanduttersuchnonsense；foritisimpossiblethatalong，white-hoodedspectacledduennacouldstiruporexciteawantonthoughtinthemostgracelessbosomintheworld。Isthereaduennaonearththathasfairflesh？Isthereaduennaintheworldthatescapesbeingill-tempered，wrinkled，andprudish？Avaunt，then，yeduennacrew，undelightfultoallmankind。
Oh，butthatladydidwellwho，theysay，hadattheendofherreceptionroomacoupleoffiguresofduennaswithspectaclesandlace-cushions，asifatwork，andthosestatuesservedquiteaswelltogiveanairofproprietytotheroomasiftheyhadbeenrealduennas。“
Sosayingheleapedoffthebed，intendingtoclosethedoorandnotallowSenoraRodrigueztoenter；butashewenttoshutitSenoraRodriguezreturnedwithawaxcandlelighted，andhavingacloserviewofDonQuixote，withthecoverletroundhim，andhisbandagesandnight-cap，shewasalarmedafresh，andretreatingacoupleofpaces，exclaimed，“AmIsafe，sirknight？forIdon\'tlookuponitasasignofverygreatvirtuethatyourworshipshouldhavegotupoutofbed。“
“Imaywellaskthesame，senora，“saidDonQuixote；“andIdoaskwhetherIshallbesafefrombeingassailedandforced？”
“Ofwhomandagainstwhomdoyoudemandthatsecurity，sirknight？”saidtheduenna。
“OfyouandagainstyouIaskit，“saidDonQuixote；“forIamnotmarble，norareyoubrass，norisitnowteno\'clockinthemorning，butmidnight，oratriflepastitIfancy，andweareinaroommoresecludedandretiredthanthecavecouldhavebeenwherethetreacherousanddaringAEneasenjoyedthefairsoft-heartedDido。
Butgivemeyourhand，senora；Irequirenobetterprotectionthanmyowncontinence，andmyownsenseofpropriety；aswellasthatwhichisinspiredbythatvenerablehead-dress；“andsosayinghekissedherrighthandandtookitinhisown，sheyieldingittohimwithequalceremoniousness。AndhereCideHameteinsertsaparenthesisinwhichhesaysthattohaveseenthepairmarchingfromthedoortothebed，linkedhandinhandinthisway，hewouldhavegiventhebestofthetwotunicshehad。
DonQuixotefinallygotintobed，andDonaRodrigueztookherseatonachairatsomelittledistancefromhiscouch，withouttakingoffherspectaclesorputtingasidethecandle。DonQuixotewrappedthebedclothesroundhimandcoveredhimselfupcompletely，leavingnothingbuthisfacevisible，andassoonastheyhadbothregainedtheircomposurehebrokesilence，saying，“Now，SenoraDonaRodriguez，youmayunbosomyourselfandoutwitheverythingyouhaveinyoursorrowfulheartandafflictedbowels；andbymeyoushallbelistenedtowithchasteears，andaidedbycompassionateexertions。“
“Ibelieveit，“repliedtheduenna；“fromyourworship\'sgentleandwinningpresenceonlysuchaChristiananswercouldbeexpected。
Thefactis，then，SenorDonQuixote，thatthoughyouseemeseatedinthischair，hereinthemiddleofthekingdomofAragon，andintheattireofadespisedoutcastduenna，IamfromtheAsturiasofOviedo，andofafamilywithwhichmanyofthebestoftheprovinceareconnectedbyblood；butmyuntowardfateandtheimprovidenceofmyparents，who，Iknownothow，wereunseasonablyreducedtopoverty，broughtmetothecourtofMadrid，whereasaprovisionandtoavoidgreatermisfortunes，myparentsplacedmeasseamstressintheserviceofaladyofquality，andIwouldhaveyouknowthatforhemmingandsewingIhaveneverbeensurpassedbyanyallmylife。Myparentsleftmeinserviceandreturnedtotheirowncountry，andafewyearslaterwent，nodoubt，toheaven，fortheywereexcellentgoodCatholicChristians。Iwasleftanorphanwithnothingbutthemiserablewagesandtriflingpresentsthataregiventoservantsofmysortinpalaces；butaboutthistime，withoutanyencouragementonmypart，oneoftheesquiresofthehouseholdfellinlovewithme，amansomewhatadvancedinyears，full-beardedandpersonable，andaboveallasgoodagentlemanasthekinghimself，forhecameofamountainstock。Wedidnotcarryonourloveswithsuchsecrecybutthattheycametotheknowledgeofmylady，andshe，nottohaveanyfussaboutit，hadusmarriedwiththefullsanctionoftheholymotherRomanCatholicChurch，ofwhichmarriageadaughterwasborntoputanendtomygoodfortune，ifIhadany；notthatIdiedinchildbirth，forIpassedthroughitsafelyandindueseason，butbecauseshortlyafterwardsmyhusbanddiedofacertainshockhereceived，andhadItimetotellyouofitIknowyourworshipwouldbesurprised；“andhereshebegantoweepbitterlyandsaid，“Pardonme，SenorDonQuixote，ifIamunabletocontrolmyself，foreverytimeIthinkofmyunfortunatehusbandmyeyesfillupwithtears。Godblessme，withwhatanairofdignityheusedtocarrymyladybehindhimonastoutmuleasblackasjet！forinthosedaystheydidnotusecoachesorchairs，astheysaytheydonow，andladiesrodebehindtheirsquires。ThismuchatleastIcannothelptellingyou，thatyoumayobservethegoodbreedingandpunctiliousnessofmyworthyhusband。AshewasturningintotheCalledeSantiagoinMadrid，whichisrathernarrow，oneofthealcaldesoftheCourt，withtwoalguacilsbeforehim，wascomingoutofit，andassoonasmygoodsquiresawhimhewheeledhismuleaboutandmadeasifhewouldturnandaccompanyhim。Mylady，whowasridingbehindhim，saidtohiminalowvoice，\'Whatareyouabout，yousneak，don\'tyouseethatIamhere？\'Thealcaldelikeapolitemanpulleduphishorseandsaidtohim，\'Proceed，senor，foritisI，rather，whooughttoaccompanymyladyDonaCasilda\'-forthatwasmymistress\'sname。Stillmyhusband，capinhand，persistedintryingtoaccompanythealcalde，andseeingthismylady，filledwithrageandvexation，pulledoutabigpin，or，Iratherthink，abodkin，outofherneedle-caseanddroveitintohisbackwithsuchforcethatmyhusbandgavealoudyell，andwrithingfelltothegroundwithhislady。Hertwolacqueysrantoriseherup，andthealcaldeandthealguacilsdidthesame；theGuadalajaragatewasallincommotion-Imeantheidlerscongregatedthere；mymistresscamebackonfoot，andmyhusbandhurriedawaytoabarber\'sshopprotestingthathewasrunrightthroughtheguts。Thecourtesyofmyhusbandwasnoisedabroadtosuchanextent，thattheboysgavehimnopeaceinthestreet；andonthisaccount，andbecausehewassomewhatshortsighted，myladydismissedhim；anditwaschagrinatthisIamconvincedbeyondadoubtthatbroughtonhisdeath。Iwasleftahelplesswidow，withadaughteronmyhandsgrowingupinbeautylikethesea-foam；atlength，however，asIhadthecharacterofbeinganexcellentneedlewoman，myladytheduchess，thenlatelymarriedtomylordtheduke，offeredtotakemewithhertothiskingdomofAragon，andmydaughteralso，andhereastimewentbymydaughtergrewupandwithherallthegracesintheworld；shesingslikealark，dancesquickasthought，footsitlikeagipsy，readsandwriteslikeaschoolmaster，anddoessumslikeamiser；ofherneatnessIsaynothing，fortherunningwaterisnotpurer，andherageisnow，ifmymemoryservesme，sixteenyearsfivemonthsandthreedays，onemoreorless。Tocometothepoint，thesonofaveryrichfarmer，livinginavillageofmylordtheduke\'snotveryfarfromhere，fellinlovewiththisgirlofmine；andinshort，howIknownot，theycametogether，andunderthepromiseofmarryingherhemadeafoolofmydaughter，andwillnotkeephisword。AndthoughmylordthedukeisawareofitforIhavecomplainedtohim，notoncebutmanyandmanyatime，andentreatedhimtoorderthefarmertomarrymydaughter，heturnsadeafearandwillscarcelylistentome；thereasonbeingthatasthedeceiver\'sfatherissorich，andlendshimmoney，andisconstantlygoingsecurityforhisdebts，hedoesnotliketooffendorannoyhiminanyway。Now，senor，Iwantyourworshiptotakeituponyourselftoredressthiswrongeitherbyentreatyorbyarms；forbywhatalltheworldsaysyoucameintoittoredressgrievancesandrightwrongsandhelptheunfortunate。Letyourworshipputbeforeyoutheunprotectedconditionofmydaughter，heryouth，andalltheperfectionsIhavesaidshepossesses；andbeforeGodandonmyconscience，outofallthedamselsmyladyhas，thereisnotonethatcomesuptothesoleofhershoe，andtheonetheycallAltisidora，andlookuponastheboldestandgayestofthem，putincomparisonwithmydaughter，doesnotcomewithintwoleaguesofher。ForIwouldhaveyouknow，senor，allisnotgoldthatglitters，andthatsamelittleAltisidorahasmoreforwardnessthangoodlooks，andmoreimpudencethanmodesty；
besidesbeingnotverysound，forshehassuchadisagreeablebreaththatonecannotbeartobenearherforamoment；andevenmyladytheduchess-butI\'llholdmytongue，fortheysaythatwallshaveears。“
“Forheaven\'ssake，DonaRodriguez，whatailsmyladytheduchess？”askedDonQuixote。
“Adjuredinthatway，“repliedtheduenna，“Icannothelpansweringthequestionandtellingthewholetruth。SenorDonQuixote，haveyouobservedthecomelinessofmyladytheduchess，thatsmoothcomplexionofherslikeaburnishedpolishedsword，thosetwocheeksofmilkandcarmine，thatgaylivelystepwithwhichshetreadsorratherseemstospurntheearth，sothatonewouldfancyshewentradiatinghealthwherevershepassed？Wellthen，letmetellyoushemaythank，firstofallGod，forthis，andnext，twoissuesthatshehas，oneineachleg，bywhichalltheevilhumours，ofwhichthedoctorssaysheisfull，aredischarged。“
“BlessedVirgin！”exclaimedDonQuixote；“andisitpossiblethatmyladytheduchesshasdrainsofthatsort？Iwouldnothavebelieveditifthebarefootfriarshadtolditme；butastheladyDonaRodriguezsaysso，itmustbeso。Butsurelysuchissues，andinsuchplaces，donotdischargehumours，butliquidamber。Verily，I
dobelievenowthatthispracticeofopeningissuesisaveryimportantmatterforthehealth。“
DonQuixotehadhardlysaidthis，whenthechamberdoorflewopenwithaloudbang，andwiththestartthenoisegaveherDonaRodriguezletthecandlefallfromherhand，andtheroomwasleftasdarkasawolf\'smouth，asthesayingis。Suddenlythepoorduennafelttwohandsseizeherbythethroat，sotightlythatshecouldnotcroak，whilesomeoneelse，withoututteringaword，verybrisklyhoistedupherpetticoats，andwithwhatseemedtobeaslipperbegantolayonsoheartilythatanyonewouldhavefeltpityforher；butalthoughDonQuixotefeltitheneverstirredfromhisbed，butlayquietandsilent，nayapprehensivethathisturnforadrubbingmightbecoming。Norwastheapprehensionanidleone；one；forleavingtheduennawhodidnotdaretocryoutwellbasted，thesilentexecutionersfelluponDonQuixote，andstrippinghimofthesheetandthecoverlet，theypinchedhimsofastandsohardthathewasdriventodefendhimselfwithhisfists，andallthisinmarvelloussilence。Thebattlelastednearlyhalfanhour，andthenthephantomsfled；DonaRodriguezgatheredupherskirts，andbemoaningherfatewentoutwithoutsayingawordtoDonQuixote，andhe，sorelypinched，puzzled，anddejected，remainedalone，andtherewewillleavehim，wonderingwhocouldhavebeentheperverseenchanterwhohadreducedhimtosuchastate；butthatshallbetoldindueseason，forSanchoclaimsourattention，andthemethodicalarrangementofthestorydemandsit。