第21章
加入书架 A- A+
点击下载App,搜索"The Idiot",免费读到尾

  \"Oncemoreletusbegyoutobecalm,mydearboy。We’lltalkofallthisanothertime——Ishalldosowiththegreatestpleasure,forone,\"saidtheolddignitary,withasmile。

  IvanPetrovitchgruntedandtwistedroundinhischair。GeneralEpanchinmovednervously。Thelatter’schiefhadstartedaconversationwiththewifeofthedignitary,andtooknonoticewhateveroftheprince,buttheoldladyveryoftenglancedathim,andlistenedtowhathewassaying。

  \"No,Ihadbetterspeak,\"continuedtheprince,withanewoutburstoffeverishemotion,andturningtowardstheoldmanwithanairofconfidentialtrustfulness。\"Yesterday,AglayaIvanovnaforbademetotalk,andevenspecifiedtheparticularsubjectsImustnottouchupon——sheknowswellenoughthatIamoddwhenIgetuponthesematters。Iamnearlytwenty-sevenyearsold,andyetIknowIamlittlebetterthanachild。Ihavenorighttoexpressmyideas,andsaidsolongago。OnlyinMoscow,withRogojin,didIeverspeakabsolutelyfreely!HeandIreadPushkintogether——allhisworks。RogojinknewnothingofPushkin,hadnotevenheardhisname。IamalwaysafraidofspoilingagreatThoughtorIdeabymyabsurdmanner。Ihavenoeloquence,Iknow。Ialwaysmakethewronggestures——

  inappropriategestures——andthereforeIdegradetheThought,andraisealaughinsteadofdoingmysubjectjustice。Ihavenosenseofproportioneither,andthatisthechiefthing。IknowitwouldbemuchbetterifIwerealwaystositstillandsaynothing。WhenIdoso,Iappeartobequiteasensiblesortofaperson,andwhat’smore,Ithinkaboutthings。ButnowImustspeak;itisbetterthatIshould。Ibegantospeakbecauseyoulookedsokindlyatme;youhavesuchabeautifulface。I

  promisedAglayaIvanovnayesterdaythatIwouldnotspeakalltheevening。\"

  \"Really?\"saidtheoldman,smiling。

  \"But,attimes,Ican’thelpthinkingthatIam。wronginfeelingsoaboutit,youknow。Sincerityismoreimportantthanelocution,isn’tit?\"

  \"Sometimes。\"

  \"Iwanttoexplainalltoyou——everything——everything!IknowyouthinkmeUtopian,don’tyou——anidealist?Oh,no!I’mnot,indeed——myideasareallsosimple。Youdon’tbelieveme?Youaresmiling。Doyouknow,Iamsometimesverywicked——forIlosemyfaith?ThiseveningasIcamehere,Ithoughttomyself,’WhatshallItalkabout?HowamItobegin,sothattheymaybeabletounderstandpartially,atallevents?’HowafraidIwas——

  dreadfullyafraid!Andyet,howCOULDIbeafraid——wasitnotshamefulofme?WasIafraidoffindingabottomlessabyssofemptyselfishness?Ah!that’swhyIamsohappyatthismoment,becauseIfindthereisnobottomlessabyssatall——butgood,healthymaterial,fulloflife。

  \"Itisnotsuchaverydreadfulcircumstancethatweareoddpeople,isit?Forwereallyareodd,youknow——careless,reckless,easilyweariedofanything。Wedon’tlookthoroughlyintomatters——don’tcaretounderstandthings。Wearealllikethis——youandI,andallofthem!Why,hereareyou,now——youarenotabitangrywithmeforcallingyouodd,’areyou?And,ifso,surelythereisgoodmaterialinyou?Doyouknow,I

  sometimesthinkitisagoodthingtobeodd。Wecanforgiveoneanothermoreeasily,andbemorehumble。Noonecanbeginbybeingperfect——thereismuchonecannotunderstandinlifeatfirst。Inordertoattaintoperfection,onemustbeginbyfailingtounderstandmuch。Andifwetakeinknowledgetooquickly,weverylikelyarenottakingitinatall。Isayallthistoyou——youwhobythistimeunderstandsomuch——anddoubtlesshavefailedtounderstandsomuch,also。Iamnotafraidofyouanylonger。Youarenotangrythatamereboyshouldsaysuchwordstoyou,areyou?Ofcoursenot!Youknowhowtoforgetandtoforgive。Youarelaughing,IvanPetrovitch?

  YouthinkIamachampionofotherclassesofpeople——thatIamTHEIRadvocate,ademocrat,andanoratorofEquality?\"Theprincelaughedhysterically;hehadseveraltimesburstintotheselittle,shortnervouslaughs。\"Oh,no——itisforyou,formyself,andforallofustogether,thatIamalarmed。Iamaprinceofanoldfamilymyself,andIamsittingamongmypeers;

  andIamtalkinglikethisinthehopeofsavingusall;inthehopethatourclasswillnotdisappearaltogether——intothedarkness——unguessingitsdanger——blamingeverythingaroundit,andlosinggroundeveryday。Whyshouldwedisappearandgiveplacetoothers,whenwemaystill,ifwechoose,remaininthefrontrankandleadthebattle?Letusbeservants,thatwemaybecomelordsindueseason!\"

  Hetriedtogetuponhisfeetagain,buttheoldmanstillrestrainedhim,gazingathimwithincreasingperturbationashewenton。

  \"Listen——Iknowitisbestnottospeak!Itisbestsimplytogiveagoodexample——simplytobeginthework。Ihavedonethis——

  Ihavebegun,and——and——oh!CANanyonebeunhappy,really?Oh!

  whatdoesgriefmatter——whatdoesmisfortunematter,ifoneknowshowtobehappy?Doyouknow,Icannotunderstandhowanyonecanpassbyagreentree,andnotfeelhappyonlytolookatit!Howanyonecantalktoamanandnotfeelhappyinlovinghim!Oh,itismyownfaultthatIcannotexpressmyselfwellenough!ButtherearelovelythingsateverystepItake——thingswhicheventhemostmiserablemanmustrecognizeasbeautiful。Lookatalittlechild——lookatGod’sday-dawn——lookatthegrassgrowing——

  lookattheeyesthatloveyou,astheygazebackintoyoureyes!\"

  Hehadrisen,andwasspeakingstandingup。Theoldgentlemanwaslookingathimnowinunconcealedalarm。LizabethaProkofievnawrungherhands。\"Oh,myGod!\"shecried。Shehadguessedthestateofthecasebeforeanyoneelse。

  Aglayarushedquicklyuptohim,andwasjustintimetoreceivehiminherarms,andtohearwithdreadandhorrorthatawful,wildcryashefellwrithingtotheground。

  Therehelayonthecarpet,andsomeonequicklyplacedacushionunderhishead。

  Noonehadexpectedthis。

  InaquarterofanhourorsoPrinceN。andEvgeniePavlovitchandtheolddignitarywerehardatworkendeavouringtorestoretheharmonyoftheevening,butitwasofnoavail,andverysoonaftertheguestsseparatedandwenttheirways。

  Agreatdealofsympathywasexpressed;aconsiderableamountofadvicewasvolunteered;IvanPetrovitchexpressedhisopinionthattheyoungmanwas\"aSlavophile,orsomethingofthatsort\";

  butthatitwasnotadangerousdevelopment。Theolddignitarysaidnothing。

  Trueenough,mostoftheguests,nextdayandthedayafter,werenotinverygoodhumour。IvanPetrovitchwasalittleoffended,butnotseriouslyso。GeneralEpanchin’schiefwasrathercooltowardshimforsomewhileaftertheoccurrence。Theolddignitary,aspatronofthefamily,tooktheopportunityofmurmuringsomekindofadmonitiontothegeneral,andadded,inflatteringterms,thathewasmostinterestedinAglaya’sfuture。

  Hewasamanwhoreallydidpossessakindheart,althoughhisinterestintheprince,intheearlierpartoftheevening,wasdue,amongotherreasons,tothelatter’sconnectionwithNastasiaPhilipovna,accordingtopopularreport。Hehadheardagooddealofthisstoryhereandthere,andwasgreatlyinterestedinit,somuchsothathelongedtoaskfurtherquestionsaboutit。

  PrincessBielokonski,asshedroveawayonthiseventfulevening,tookoccasiontosaytoLizabethaProkofievna:

  \"Well——he’sagoodmatch——andabadone;andifyouwantmyopinion,morebadthangood。Youcanseeforyourselfthemanisaninvalid。\"

  LizabethathereforedecidedthattheprincewasimpossibleasahusbandforAglaya;andduringtheensuingnightshemadeavowthatneverwhileshelivedshouldhemarryAglaya。Withthisresolvefirmlyimpresseduponhermind,sheawokenextday;butduringthemorning,afterherearlylunch,shefellintoaconditionofremarkableinconsistency。

  Inreplytoaveryguardedquestionofhersisters’,Aglayahadansweredcoldly,butexceedinglyhaughtily:

  \"Ihavenevergivenhimmywordatall,norhaveIevercountedhimasmyfuturehusband——neverinmylife。Heisjustaslittletomeasalltherest。\"

  LizabethaProkofievnasuddenlyflaredup。

  \"Ididnotexpectthatofyou,Aglaya,\"shesaid。\"Heisanimpossiblehusbandforyou,——Iknowit;andthankGodthatweagreeuponthatpoint;butIdidnotexpecttohearsuchwordsfromyou。IthoughtIshouldhearaverydifferenttonefromyou。

  Iwouldhaveturnedouteveryonewhowasintheroomlastnightandkepthim,——that’sthesortofmanheis,inmyopinion!\"

  Hereshesuddenlypaused,afraidofwhatshehadjustsaid。Butshelittleknewhowunfairshewastoherdaughteratthatmoment。ItwasallsettledinAglaya’smind。Shewasonlywaitingforthehourthatwouldbringthemattertoafinalclimax;andeveryhint,everycarelessprobingofherwound,didbutfurtherlacerateherheart。

  VIII。

  THISsamemorningdawnedfortheprincepregnantwithnolesspainfulpresentiments,——whichfacthisphysicalstatewas,ofcourse,quiteenoughtoaccountfor;buthewassoindefinablymelancholy,——hissadnesscouldnotattachitselftoanythinginparticular,andthistormentedhimmorethananythingelse。Ofcoursecertainfactsstoodbeforehim,clearandpainful,buthissadnesswentbeyondallthathecouldrememberorimagine;herealizedthathewaspowerlesstoconsolehimselfunaided。Littlebylittlehebegantodeveloptheexpectationthatthisdaysomethingimportant,somethingdecisive,wastohappentohim。

  Hisattackofyesterdayhadbeenaslightone。Exceptingsomelittleheavinessintheheadandpaininthelimbs,hedidnotfeelanyparticulareffects。Hisbrainworkedallright,thoughhissoulwasheavywithinhim。

  Heroselate,andimmediatelyuponwakingrememberedallaboutthepreviousevening;healsoremembered,thoughnotquitesoclearly,how,halfanhourafterhisfit,hehadbeencarriedhome。

  HesoonheardthatamessengerfromtheEpanchins’hadalreadybeentoinquireafterhim。Athalf-pastelevenanotherarrived;

  andthispleasedhim。

  VeraLebedeffwasoneofthefirsttocometoseehimandofferherservices。Nosoonerdidshecatchsightofhimthansheburstintotears;butwhenhetriedtosoothehershebegantolaugh。

  Hewasquitestruckbythegirl’sdeepsympathyforhim;heseizedherhandandkissedit。Veraflushedcrimson。

  \"Oh,don’t,don’t!\"sheexclaimedinalarm,snatchingherhandaway。Shewenthastilyoutoftheroominastateofstrangeconfusion。

  Lebedeffalsocametoseetheprince,inagreathurrytogetawaytothe\"deceased,\"ashecalledGeneralIvolgin,whowasalivestill,butveryill。Coliaalsoturnedup,andbeggedtheprinceforpity’ssaketotellhimallheknewabouthisfatherwhichhadbeenconcealedfromhimtillnow。Hesaidhehadfoundoutnearlyeverythingsinceyesterday;thepoorboywasinastateofdeepaffliction。Withallthesympathywhichhecouldbringintoplay,theprincetoldColiathewholestorywithoutreserve,detailingthefactsasclearlyashecould。ThetalestruckColialikeathunderbolt。Hecouldnotspeak。Helistenedsilently,andcriedsoftlytohimselfthewhile。Theprinceperceivedthatthiswasanimpressionwhichwouldlastforthewholeoftheboy’slife。Hemadehastetoexplainhisviewofthematter,andpointedoutthattheoldman’sapproachingdeathwasprobablybroughtonbyhorroratthethoughtofhisaction;andthatitwasnoteveryonewhowascapableofsuchafeeling。

  Colia’seyesflashedashelistened。

  \"GaniaandVariaandPtitsinareaworthlesslot!Ishallnotquarrelwiththem;butfromthismomentourfeetshallnottravelthesameroad。Oh,prince,Ihavefeltmuchthatisquitenewtomesinceyesterday!Itisalessonforme。Ishallnowconsidermymotherasentirelymyresponsibility;thoughshemaybesafeenoughwithVaria。Still,meatanddrinkisnoteverything。\"

  Hejumpedupandhurriedoff,rememberingsuddenlythathewaswantedathisfather’sbedside;butbeforehewentoutoftheroomheinquiredhastilyaftertheprince’shealth,andreceivingthelatter’sreply,added:

  \"Isn’ttheresomethingelse,prince?Iheardyesterday,butI

  havenorighttotalkaboutthis……Ifyoueverwantatruefriendandservant——neitheryounorIaresoveryhappy,arewe?——

  cometome。Iwon’taskyouquestions,though。\"

  Heranoffandlefttheprincemoredejectedthanever。

  Everyoneseemedtobespeakingprophetically,hintingatsomemisfortuneorsorrowtocome;theyhadalllookedathimasthoughtheyknewsomethingwhichhedidnotknow。Lebedeffhadaskedquestions,Coliahadhinted,andVerahadshedtears。Whatwasit?

  Atlast,withasighofannoyance,hesaidtohimselfthatitwasnothingbuthisowncursedsicklysuspicion。Hisfacelightedupwithjoywhen,atabouttwoo’clock,heespiedtheEpanchinscomingalongtopayhimashortvisit,\"justforaminute。\"Theyreallyhadonlycomeforaminute。

  LizabethaProkofievnahadannounced,directlyafterlunch,thattheywouldalltakeawalktogether。Theinformationwasgivenintheformofacommand,withoutexplanation,drilyandabruptly。

  Allhadissuedforthinobediencetothemandate;thatis,thegirls,mamma,andPrinceS。LizabethaProkofievnawentoffinadirectionexactlycontrarytotheusualone,andallunderstoodverywellwhatshewasdrivingat,butheldtheirpeace,fearingtoirritatethegoodlady。She,asthoughanxioustoavoidanyconversation,walkedahead,silentandalone。AtlastAdelaidaremarkedthatitwasnouseracingalongatsuchapace,andthatshecouldnotkeepupwithhermother。

  \"Lookhere,\"saidLizabethaProkofievna,turningroundsuddenly;

  \"wearepassinghishouse。WhateverAglayamaythink,andinspiteofanythingthatmayhappen,heisnotastrangertous;

  besideswhich,heisillandinmisfortune。I,forone,shallcallinandseehim。Letanyonefollowmewhocaresto。\"

  Ofcourseeveryoneofthemfollowedher。

  Theprincehastenedtoapologize,veryproperly,foryesterday’smishapwiththevase,andforthescenegenerally。

  \"Oh,that’snothing,\"repliedLizabetha;\"I’mnotsorryforthevase,I’msorryforyou。H’m!soyoucanseethattherewasa’scene,’canyou?Well,itdoesn’tmattermuch,foreveryonemustrealizenowthatitisimpossibletobehardonyou。Well,aurevoir。Iadviseyoutohaveawalk,andthengotosleepagainifyoucan。Comeinasusual,ifyoufeelinclined;andbeassured,onceforall,whateverhappens,andwhatevermayhavehappened,youshallalwaysremainthefriendofthefamily——mine,atallevents。Icananswerformyself。\"

  Inresponsetothischallengealltheotherschimedinandre-

  echoedmamma’ssentiments。

  Andsotheytooktheirdeparture;butinthishastyandkindlydesignedvisittherewashiddenafundofcrueltywhichLizabethaProkofievnaneverdreamedof。Inthewords\"asusual,\"andagaininheradded,\"mine,atallevents,\"thereseemedanominousknellofsomeeviltocome。

  TheprincebegantothinkofAglaya。Shehadcertainlygivenhimawonderfulsmile,bothatcomingandagainatleave-taking,buthadnotsaidaword,notevenwhentheothersallprofessedtheirfriendshipforhim。Shehadlookedveryintentlyathim,butthatwasall。Herfacehadbeenpalerthanusual;shelookedasthoughshehadsleptbadly。

  Theprincemadeuphismindthathewouldmakeapointofgoingthere\"asusual,\"tonight,andlookedfeverishlyathiswatch。

  VeracameinthreeminutesaftertheEpanchinshadleft。\"LefNicolaievitch,\"shesaid,\"AglayaIvanovnahasjustgivenmeamessageforyou。\"

  Theprincetrembled。

  \"Isitanote?\"

  \"No,averbalmessage;shehadhardlytimeevenforthat。Shebegsyouearnestlynottogooutofthehouseforasinglemomentallto-day,untilseveno’clockintheevening。Itmayhavebeennine;Ididn’tquitehear。\"

  \"But——but,whyisthis?Whatdoesitmean?\"

  \"Idon’tknowatall;butshesaidIwastotellyouparticularly。\"

  \"Didshesaythat?\"

  \"Notthoseverywords。Sheonlyjusthadtimetowhisperasshewentby;butbythewayshelookedatmeIknewitwasimportant。

  Shelookedatmeinawaythatmademyheartstopbeating。\"

  Theprinceaskedafewmorequestions,andthoughhelearnednothingelse,hebecamemoreandmoreagitated。

  Leftalone,helaydownonthesofa,andbegantothink。

  \"Perhaps,\"hethought,\"someoneistobewiththemuntilninetonightandsheisafraidthatImaycomeandmakeafoolofmyselfagain,inpublic。\"Sohespenthistimelongingfortheeveningandlookingathiswatch。Buttheclearing-upofthemysterycamelongbeforetheevening,andcameintheformofanewandagonizingriddle。

  HalfanhouraftertheEpanchinshadgone,Hippolytearrived,sotiredthat,almostunconscious,hesankintoachair,andbrokeintosuchafitofcoughingthathecouldnotstop。Hecoughedtillthebloodcame。Hiseyesglittered,andtworedspotsonhischeeksgrewbrighterandbrighter。Theprincemurmuredsomethingtohim,butHippolyteonlysignedthathemustbeleftaloneforawhile,andsatsilent。Atlasthecametohimself。

  \"Iamoff,\"hesaid,hoarsely,andwithdifficulty。

  \"ShallIseeyouhome?\"askedtheprince,risingfromhisseat,butsuddenlystoppingshortasherememberedAglaya’sprohibitionagainstleavingthehouse。Hippolytelaughed。

  \"Idon’tmeanthatIamgoingtoleaveyourhouse,\"hecontinued,stillgaspingandcoughing。\"Onthecontrary,Ithoughtitabsolutelynecessarytocomeandseeyou;otherwiseIshouldnothavetroubledyou。Iamoffthere,youknow,andthistimeI

  believe,seriously,thatIamoff!It’sallover。Ididnotcomehereforsympathy,believeme。Ilaydownthismorningatteno’clockwiththeintentionofnotrisingagainbeforethattime;

  butIthoughtitoverandrosejustoncemoreinordertocomehere;fromwhichyoumaydeducethatIhadsomereasonforwishingtocome。\"

  \"Itgrievesmetoseeyouso,Hippolyte。Whydidn’tyousendmeamessage?Iwouldhavecomeupandsavedyouthistrouble。\"

  \"Well,well!Enough!You’vepitiedme,andthat’sallthatgoodmannersexact。Iforgot,howareyou?\"

  \"I’mallright;yesterdayIwasalittle——\"

  \"Iknow,Iheard;thechinavasecaughtit!I’msorryIwasn’tthere。I’vecomeaboutsomethingimportant。InthefirstplaceI

  had,thepleasureofseeingGavrilaArdalionovitchandAglayaIvanovnaenjoyingarendezvousonthegreenbenchinthepark。I

  wasastonishedtoseewhatafoolamancanlook。IremarkeduponthefacttoAglayaIvanovnawhenhehadgone。Idon’tthinkanythingeversurprisesyou,prince!\"addedHippolyte,gazingincredulouslyattheprince’scalmdemeanour。\"Tobeastonishedbynothingisasign,theysay,ofagreatintellect。Inmyopinionitwouldserveequallywellasasignofgreatfoolishness。Iamnothintingaboutyou;pardonme!Iamveryunfortunatetodayinmyexpressions。

  \"IknewyesterdaythatGavrilaArdalionovitch——\"begantheprince,andpausedinevidentconfusion,thoughHippolytehadshownannoyanceathisbetrayingnosurprise。

  \"Youknewit?Come,that’snews!Butno——perhapsbetternottellme。Andwereyouawitnessofthemeeting?\"

  \"IfyouwerethereyourselfyoumusthaveknownthatIwasNOT

  there!\"

  \"Oh!butyoumayhavebeensittingbehindthebushessomewhere。

  However,Iamveryglad,onyouraccount,ofcourse。IwasbeginningtobeafraidthatMr。Gania——mighthavethepreference!\"

  \"MayIaskyou,Hippolyte,nottotalkofthissubject?Andnottousesuchexpressions?\"

  \"Especiallyasyouknowall,eh?\"

  \"Youarewrong。Iknowscarcelyanything,andAglayaIvanovnaisawarethatIknownothing。Iknewnothingwhateveraboutthismeeting。Yousaytherewasameeting。Verywell;let’sleaveitso——\"

  \"Why,whatdoyoumean?Yousaidyouknew,andnowsuddenlyyouknownothing!Yousay’verywell;let’sleaveitso。’ButIsay,don’tbesoconfiding,especiallyasyouknownothing。YouareconfidingsimplyBECAUSEyouknownothing。Butdoyouknowwhatthesegoodpeoplehaveintheirminds’eye——Ganiaandhissister?

  Perhapsyouaresuspicious?Well,well,I’lldropthesubject!\"

  headded,hastily,observingtheprince’simpatientgesture。\"ButI’vecometoyouonmyownbusiness;Iwishtomakeyouaclearexplanation。Whatanuisanceitisthatonecannotdiewithoutexplanations!Ihavemadesuchaquantityofthemalready。DoyouwishtohearwhatIhavetosay?\"

  \"Speakaway,Iamlistening。\"

  \"Verywell,butI’llchangemymind,andbeginaboutGania。Justfancytobeginwith,ifyoucan,thatI,too,wasgivenanappointmentatthegreenbenchtoday!However,Iwon’tdeceiveyou;Iaskedfortheappointment。IsaidIhadasecrettodisclose。Idon’tknowwhetherIcametheretooearly,IthinkI

  musthave;butscarcelyhadIsatdownbesideAglayaIvanovnathanIsawGavrilaArdalionovitchandhissisterVariacomingalong,arminarm,justasthoughtheywereenjoyingamorningwalktogether。Bothofthemseemedverymuchastonished,nottosaydisturbed,atseeingme;theyevidentlyhadnotexpectedthepleasure。AglayaIvanovnablushedup,andwasactuallyalittleconfused。Idon’tknowwhetheritwasmerelybecauseIwasthere,orwhetherGania’sbeautywastoomuchforher!Butanyway,sheturnedcrimson,andthenfinishedupthebusinessinaveryfunnymanner。Shejumpedupfromherseat,bowedbacktoGania,smiledtoVaria,andsuddenlyobserved:’Ionlycameheretoexpressmygratitudeforallyourkindwishesonmybehalf,andtosaythatifIfindIneedyourservices,believeme——’Hereshebowedthemaway,asitwere,andtheybothmarchedoffagain,lookingveryfoolish。Ganiaevidentlycouldnotmakeheadnortailofthematter,andturnedasredasalobster;butVariaunderstoodatoncethattheymustgetawayasquicklyastheycould,soshedraggedGaniaaway;sheisagreatdealclevererthanheis。Asformyself,IwenttheretoarrangeameetingtobeheldbetweenAglayaIvanovnaandNastasiaPhilipovna。\"

  \"NastasiaPhilipovna!\"criedtheprince。

  \"Aha!Ithinkyouaregrowinglesscool,myfriend,andarebeginningtobeatriflesurprised,aren’tyou?I’mgladthatyouarenotaboveordinaryhumanfeelings,foronce。I’llconsoleyoualittlenow,afteryourconsternation。SeewhatIgetforservingayoungandhigh-souledmaiden!ThismorningIreceivedaslapinthefacefromthelady!\"

  \"A——amoralone?\"askedtheprince,involuntarily。

  \"Yes——notaphysicalone!Idon’tsupposeanyone——evenawoman——

  wouldraiseahandagainstmenow。EvenGaniawouldhesitate!I

  didthinkatonetimeyesterday,thathewouldflyatme,though。

  IbetanythingthatIknowwhatyouarethinkingofnow!Youarethinking:’Ofcourseonecan’tstrikethelittlewretch,butonecouldsuffocatehimwithapillow,orawettowel,whenheisasleep!OneOUGHTtogetridofhimsomehow。’Icanseeinyourfacethatyouarethinkingthatatthisverysecond。\"

  \"Ineverthoughtofsuchathingforamoment,\"saidtheprince,withdisgust。

  \"Idon’tknow——IdreamedlastnightthatIwasbeingsuffocatedwithawetclothby——somebody。I’lltellyouwhoitwas——Rogojin!

  Whatdoyouthink,canamanbesuffocatedwithawetcloth?\"

  \"Idon’tknow。\"

  \"I’veheardso。Well,we’llleavethatquestionjustnow。WhyamIascandal-monger?Whydidshecallmeascandal-monger?Andmind,AFTERshehadheardeverywordIhadtotellher,andhadaskedallsortsofquestionsbesides——butsuchisthewayofwomen。ForHERsakeIenteredintorelationswithRogojin——aninterestingman!AtHERrequestIarrangedapersonalinterviewbetweenherselfandNastasiaPhilipovna。CouldshehavebeenangrybecauseIhintedthatshewasenjoyingNastasiaPhilipovna’s’leavings’?Why,Ihavebeenimpressingituponherallthiswhileforherowngood。TwolettershaveIwrittenherinthatstrain,andIbeganstraightofftodayaboutitsbeinghumiliatingforher。Besides,theword’leavings’isnotmyinvention。Atallevents,theyalluseditatGania’s,andsheuseditherself。SowhyamIascandal-monger?Isee——Iseeyouaretremendouslyamused,atthismoment!Probablyyouarelaughingatmeandfittingthosesillylinestomycase——

  \"’MaybesadLoveuponhissettingsmiles,Andwithvainhopeshisfarewellhourbeguiles。

  \"Ha,ha,ha!\"

  Hippolytesuddenlyburstintoafitofhystericallaughter,whichturnedintoachokingcough。

  \"Observe,\"hegasped,throughhiscoughing,\"whatafellowGaniais!HetalksaboutNastasia’s’leavings,’butwhatdoeshewanttotakehimself?\"

  Theprincesatsilentforalongwhile。Hismindwasfilledwithdreadandhorror。

  \"YouspokeofameetingwithNastasiaPhilipovna,\"hesaidatlast,inalowvoice。

  \"Oh——come!SurelyyoumustknowthatthereistobeameetingtodaybetweenNastasiaandAglayaIvanovna,andthatNastasiahasbeensentforonpurpose,throughRogojin,fromSt。Petersburg?

  IthasbeenbroughtaboutbyinvitationofAglayaIvanovnaandmyownefforts,andNastasiaisatthismomentwithRogojin,notfarfromhere——atDanaAlexeyevna’s——thatcuriousfriendofhers;andtothisquestionablehouseAglayaIvanovnaistoproceedforafriendlychatwithNastasiaPhilipovna,andforthesettlementofseveralproblems。Theyaregoingtoplayatarithmetic——didn’tyouknowaboutit?Wordofhonour?\"

  \"It’samostimprobablestory。\"

  \"Oh,verywell!ifit’simprobable——itis——that’sall!Andyet——

  whereshouldyouhaveheardit?ThoughImustsay,ifaflycrossestheroomit’sknownallovertheplacehere。However,I’vewarnedyou,andyoumaybegratefultome。Well——aurevoir——

  probablyinthenextworld!Onemorething——don’tthinkthatIamtellingyouallthisforyoursake。Oh,dear,no!DoyouknowthatIdedicatedmyconfessiontoAglayaIvanovna?Ididthough,andhowshetookit,ha,ha!Oh,no!Iamnotactingfromanyhigh,exaltedmotives。ButthoughImayhavebehavedlikeacadtoyou,IhavenotdoneHERanyharm。Idon’tapologizeformywordsabout’leavings’andallthat。Iamatoningforthat,yousee,bytellingyoutheplaceandtimeofthemeeting。Goodbye!

  Youhadbettertakeyourmeasures,ifyouareworthythenameofaman!Themeetingisfixedforthisevening——that’scertain。\"

  Hippolytewalkedtowardsthedoor,buttheprincecalledhimbackandhestopped。

  \"ThenyouthinkAglayaIvanovnaherselfintendstogotoNastasiaPhilipovna’stonight?\"heasked,andbrighthecticspotscameoutonhischeeksandforehead。

  \"Idon’tknowabsolutelyforcertain;butinallprobabilityitisso,\"repliedHippolyte,lookinground。\"Nastasiawouldhardlygotoher;andtheycan’tmeetatGania’s,withamannearlydeadinthehouse。\"

  \"It’simpossible,forthatveryreason,\"saidtheprince。\"Howwouldshegetoutifshewishedto?Youdon’tknowthehabitsofthathouse——sheCOULDnotgetawayalonetoNastasiaPhilipovna’s!It’sallnonsense!\"

  \"Lookhere,mydearprince,noonejumpsoutofthewindowiftheycanhelpit;butwhenthere’safire,thedandiestgentlemanorthefinestladyintheworldwillskipout!Whenthemomentcomes,andthere’snothingelsetobedone——ouryoungladywillgotoNastasiaPhilipovna’s!Don’ttheylettheyoungladiesoutofthehousealone,then?\"

  \"Ididn’tmeanthatexactly。\"

  \"Ifyoudidn’tmeanthat,thenshehasonlytogodownthestepsandwalkoff,andsheneednevercomebackunlessshechooses:

  Shipsareburnedbehindonesometimes,andonedoesn’tcaretoreturnwhenceonecame。Lifeneednotconsistonlyoflunches,anddinners,andPrinceS’s。ItstrikesmeyoutakeAglayaIvanovnaforsomeconventionalboarding-schoolgirl。Isaidsotoher,andshequiteagreedwithme。Waittillsevenoreighto’clock。InyourplaceIwouldsendsomeonetheretokeepwatch,soastoseizetheexactmomentwhenshestepsoutofthehouse。

  SendColia。He’llplaythespywithpleasure——foryouatleast。

  Ha,ha,ha!\"

  Hippolytewentout。

  Therewasnoreasonfortheprincetosetanyonetowatch,evenifhehadbeencapableofsuchathing。Aglaya’scommandthatheshouldstayathomealldayseemedalmostexplainednow。Perhapsshemeanttocallforhim,herself,oritmightbe,ofcourse,thatshewasanxioustomakesureofhisnotcomingthere,andthereforebadehimremainathome。Hisheadwhirled;thewholeroomseemedtobeturninground。Helaydownonthesofa,andclosedhiseyes。

  Onewayortheotherthequestionwastobedecidedatlast——

  finally。

  Oh,no,hedidnotthinkofAglayaasaboarding-schoolmiss,orayoungladyoftheconventionaltype!Hehadlongsincefearedthatshemighttakesomesuchstepasthis。ButwhydidshewishtoseeNastasia?

  Heshiveredalloverashelay;hewasinhighfeveragain。

  No!hedidnotaccountherachild。Certainofherlooks,certainofherwords,oflate,hadfilledhimwithapprehension。Attimesithadstruckhimthatshewasputtingtoogreatarestraintuponherself,andherememberedthathehadbeenalarmedtoobservethis。Hehadtried,allthesedays,todriveawaytheheavythoughtsthatoppressedhim;butwhatwasthehiddenmysteryofthatsoul?Thequestionhadlongtormentedhim,althoughheimplicitlytrustedthatsoul。Andnowitwasalltobeclearedup。Itwasadreadfulthought。And\"thatwoman\"again!Whydidhealwaysfeelasthough\"thatwoman\"werefatedtoappearateachcriticalmomentofhislife,andtearthethreadofhisdestinylikeabitofrottenstring?ThathealwaysHADfeltthishewasreadytoswear,althoughhewashalfdeliriousatthemoment。Ifhehadtriedtoforgether,allthistime,itwassimplybecausehewasafraidofher。Didhelovethewomanorhateher?Thisquestionhedidnotonceaskhimselftoday;hisheartwasquitepure。Heknewwhomheloved。Hewasnotsomuchafraidofthismeeting,norofitsstrangeness,norofanyreasonstheremightbeforit,unknowntohimself;hewasafraidofthewomanherself,NastasiaPhilipovna。Heremembered,somedaysafterwards,howduringallthosefeveredhourshehadseenbutHEReyes,HERlook,hadheardHERvoice,strangewordsofhers;

  herememberedthatthiswasso,althoughhecouldnotrecollectthedetailsofhisthoughts。

  HecouldrememberthatVerabroughthimsomedinner,andthathetookit;butwhetherhesleptafterdinner,orno,hecouldnotrecollect。

  HeonlyknewthathebegantodistinguishthingsclearlyfromthemomentwhenAglayasuddenlyappeared,andhejumpedupfromthesofaandwenttomeether。Itwasjustaquarterpastseventhen。

  Aglayawasquitealone,anddressed,apparentlyhastily,inalightmantle。Herfacewaspale,asithadbeeninthemorning,andhereyeswereablazewithbrightbutsubduedfire。Hehadneverseenthatexpressioninhereyesbefore。

  Shegazedattentivelyathim。

  \"Youarequiteready,Iobserve,\"shesaid,withabsolutecomposure,\"dressed,andyourhatinyourhand。Iseesomebodyhasthoughtfittowarnyou,andIknowwho。Hippolyte?\"

  \"Yes,hetoldme,\"saidtheprince,feelingonlyhalfalive。

  \"Comethen。Youknow,Isuppose,thatyoumustescortmethere?

  Youarewellenoughtogoout,aren’tyou?\"

  \"Iamwellenough;butisitreallypossible?——\"

  Hebrokeoffabruptly,andcouldnotaddanotherword。Thiswashisoneattempttostopthemadchild,and,afterhehadmadeit,hefollowedherasthoughhehadnowillofhisown。Confusedashisthoughtswere,hewas,nevertheless,capableofrealizingthefactthatifhedidnotgowithher,shewouldgoalone,andsohemustgowithheratallhazards。Heguessedthestrengthofherdetermination;itwasbeyondhimtocheckit。

  Theywalkedsilently,andsaidscarcelyawordalltheway。Heonlynoticedthatsheseemedtoknowtheroadverywell;andonce,whenhethoughtitbettertogobyacertainlane,andremarkedtoherthatitwouldbequieterandlesspublic,sheonlysaid,\"it’sallthesame,\"andwenton。

  WhentheywerealmostarrivedatDariaAlexeyevna’shouseitwasalargewoodenstructureofancientdate,agorgeously-dressedladyandayounggirlcameoutofit。Boththeseladiestooktheirseatsinacarriage,whichwaswaitingatthedoor,talkingandlaughingloudlythewhile,anddroveawaywithoutappearingtonoticetheapproachingcouple。

  Nosoonerhadthecarriagedrivenoffthanthedooropenedoncemore;andRogojin,whohadapparentlybeenawaitingthem,lettheminandcloseditafterthem。

  \"Thereisnotanothersoulinthehousenowexceptingourfourselves,\"hesaidaloud,lookingattheprinceinastrangeway。

  NastasiaPhilipovnawaswaitingfortheminthefirstroomtheywentinto。Shewasdressedverysimply,inblack。

  Sheroseattheirentrance,butdidnotsmileorgiveherhand,eventotheprince。HeranxiouseyeswerefixeduponAglaya。Bothsatdown,atalittledistancefromoneanother——Aglayaonthesofa,inthecorneroftheroom,Nastasiabythewindow。TheprinceandRogojinremainedstanding,andwerenotinvitedtosit。

  MuishkinglancedatRogojininperplexity,butthelatteronlysmileddisagreeably,andsaidnothing。Thesilencecontinuedforsomefewmoments。

  AnominousexpressionpassedoverNastasiaPhilipovna’sface,ofasudden。Itbecameobstinate-looking,hard,andfullofhatred;

  butshedidnottakehereyesoffhervisitorsforamoment。

  Aglayawasclearlyconfused,butnotfrightened。Onenteringshehadmerelyglancedmomentarilyatherrival,andthenhadsatstill,withhereyesontheground,apparentlyinthought。Onceortwicesheglancedcasuallyroundtheroom。Ashadeofdisgustwasvisibleinherexpression;shelookedasthoughshewereafraidofcontaminationinthisplace。

  Shemechanicallyarrangedherdress,andfidgeteduncomfortably,eventuallychangingherseattotheotherendofthesofa。

  Probablyshewasunconsciousofherownmovements;butthisveryunconsciousnessaddedtotheoffensivenessoftheirsuggestedmeaning。

  AtlengthshelookedstraightintoNastasia’seyes,andinstantlyreadalltherewastoreadinherrival’sexpression。Womanunderstoodwoman!Aglayashuddered。

  \"YouknowofcoursewhyIrequestedthismeeting?\"shesaidatlast,quietly,andpausingtwiceinthedeliveryofthisveryshortsentence。

  \"No——Iknownothingaboutit,\"saidNastasia,drilyandabruptly。

  Aglayablushed。Perhapsitstruckherasverystrangeandimpossiblethatsheshouldreallybesittinghereandwaitingfor\"thatwoman’s\"replytoherquestion。

  AtthefirstsoundofNastasia’svoiceashudderranthroughherframe。Ofcourse\"thatwoman\"observedandtookinallthis。

  \"Youknowquitewell,butyouarepretendingtobeignorant,\"

  saidAglaya,verylow,withhereyesontheground。

  \"WhyshouldI?\"askedNastasiaPhilipovna,smilingslightly。

  \"Youwanttotakeadvantageofmyposition,nowthatIaminyourhouse,\"continuedAglaya,awkwardly。

  \"ForthatpositionYOUaretoblameandnotI,\"saidNastasia,flaringupsuddenly。\"_I_didnotinviteYOU,butyoume;andtothismomentIamquiteignorantastowhyIamthushonoured。\"

  Aglayaraisedherheadhaughtily。

  \"Restrainyourtongue!\"shesaid。\"Ididnotcomeheretofightyouwithyourownweapons。

  \"Oh!thenyoudidcome’tofight,’Imayconclude?Dearme!——andIthoughtyouwerecleverer——\"

  Theylookedatoneanotherwithundisguisedmalice。Oneofthesewomenhadwrittentotheother,solately,suchlettersaswehaveseen;anditallwasdispersedattheirfirstmeeting。Yetitappearedthatnotoneofthefourpersonsintheroomconsideredthisinanydegreestrange。

  Theprincewho,uptoyesterday,wouldnothavebelievedthathecouldevendreamofsuchanimpossiblesceneasthis,stoodandlistenedandlookedon,andfeltasthoughhehadlongforeseenitall。Themostfantasticdreamseemedsuddenlytohavebeenmetamorphosedintothemostvividreality。

  Oneofthesewomensodespisedtheother,andsolongedtoexpresshercontemptforherperhapsshehadonlycomeforthatverypurpose,asRogojinsaidnextday,thathowsoeverfantasticalwastheotherwoman,howsoeverafflictedherspiritanddisturbedherunderstanding,nopreconceivedideaofherscouldpossiblystandupagainstthatdeadlyfemininecontemptofherrival。TheprincefeltsurethatNastasiawouldsaynothingaboutthelettersherself;buthecouldjudgebyherflashingeyesandtheexpressionofherfacewhatthethoughtofthoselettersmustbecostingheratthismoment。HewouldhavegivenhalfhislifetopreventAglayafromspeakingofthem。ButAglayasuddenlybracedherselfup,andseemedtomasterherselffully,allinaninstant。

  \"Youhavenotquiteunderstood,\"shesaid。\"Ididnotcometoquarrelwithyou,thoughIdonotlikeyou。Icametospeaktoyouas……asonehumanbeingtoanother。IcamewithmymindmadeupastowhatIhadtosaytoyou,andIshallnotchangemyintention,althoughyoumaymisunderstandme。Somuchtheworseforyou,notformyself!Iwishedtoreplytoallyouhavewrittentomeandtoreplypersonally,becauseIthinkthatisthemoreconvenientway。Listentomyreplytoallyourletters。

  IbegantobesorryforPrinceLefNicolaievitchontheverydayImadehisacquaintance,andwhenIheard——afterwards——ofallthattookplaceatyourhouseintheevening,Iwassorryforhimbecausehewassuchasimple-mindedman,andbecausehe,inthesimplicityofhissoul,believedthathecouldbehappywithawomanofyourcharacter。WhatIfearedactuallytookplace;youcouldnotlovehim,youtorturedhim,andthrewhimover。Youcouldnotlovehimbecauseyouaretooproud——no,notproud,thatisanerror;becauseyouaretoovain——no,notquitethateither;

  tooself-loving;youareself-lovingtomadness。Yourletterstomeareaproofofit。Youcouldnotlovesosimpleasoulashis,andperhapsinyourheartyoudespisedhimandlaughedathim。

  Allyoucouldlovewasyourshameandtheperpetualthoughtthatyouweredisgracedandinsulted。Ifyouwerelessshameful,orhadnocauseatallforshame,youwouldbestillmoreunhappythanyouarenow。

  Aglayabroughtoutthesethrongingwordswithgreatsatisfaction。

  Theycamefromherlipshurriedlyandimpetuously,andhadbeenpreparedandthoughtoutlongago,evenbeforeshehadeverdreamedofthepresentmeeting。ShewatchedwitheagernesstheeffectofherspeechasshowninNastasia’sface,whichwasdistortedwithagitation。

  \"Youremember,\"shecontinued,\"hewrotemealetteratthattime;hesaysyouknowallaboutthatletterandthatyouevenreadit。Iunderstandallbymeansofthisletter,andunderstanditcorrectly。Hehassinceconfirmeditalltome——whatInowsaytoyou,wordforword。AfterreceivinghisletterIwaited;I

  guessedthatyouwouldsooncomebackhere,becauseyoucouldneverdowithoutPetersburg;youarestilltooyoungandlovelyfortheprovinces。However,thisisnotmyownidea,\"sheadded,blushingdreadfully;andfromthismomentthecolourneverlefthercheekstotheendofherspeech。WhenInextsawtheprinceI

  begantofeelterriblypainedandhurtonhisaccount。Donotlaugh;ifyoulaughyouareunworthyofunderstandingwhatI

  say。\"

  \"SurelyyouseethatIamnotlaughing,\"saidNastasia,sadlyandsternly。

  \"However,it’sallthesametome;laughornot,justasyouplease。WhenIaskedhimaboutyou,hetoldmethathehadlongsinceceasedtoloveyou,thattheveryrecollectionofyouwasatorturetohim,butthathewassorryforyou;andthatwhenhethoughtofyouhisheartwaspierced。IoughttotellyouthatI

  neverinmylifemetamananythinglikehimfornoblesimplicityofmindandforboundlesstrustfulness。Iguessedthatanyonewholikedcoulddeceivehim,andthathewouldimmediatelyforgiveanyonewhodiddeceivehim;anditwasforthisthatIgrewtolovehim——\"

  Aglayapausedforamoment,asthoughsuddenlybroughtupinastonishmentthatshecouldhavesaidthesewords,butatthesametimeagreatprideshoneinhereyes,likeadefiantassertionthatitwouldnotmattertoherif\"thiswoman\"laughedinherfacefortheadmissionjustmade。

  \"Ihavetoldyouallnow,andofcourseyouunderstandwhatI

  wishofyou。\"

  \"PerhapsIdo;buttellmeyourself,\"saidNastasiaPhilipovna,quietly。

  Aglayaflushedupangrily。

  \"Iwishedtofindoutfromyou,\"shesaid,firmly,\"bywhatrightyoudaretomeddlewithhisfeelingsforme?Bywhatrightyoudaredsendmethoseletters?Bywhatrightdoyoucontinuallyremindbothmeandhimthatyoulovehim,afteryouyourselfthrewhimoverandranawayfromhiminsoinsultingandshamefulaway?\"

  \"InevertoldeitherhimoryouthatIlovedhim!\"repliedNastasiaPhilipovna,withaneffort。\"And——andIdidrunawayfromhim——youarerightthere,\"sheadded,scarcelyaudibly。

  \"Nevertoldeitherhimorme?\"criedAglaya。\"Howaboutyourletters?Whoaskedyoutotrytopersuademetomarryhim?Wasnotthatadeclarationfromyou?Whydoyouforceyourselfuponusinthisway?IconfessIthoughtatfirstthatyouwereanxioustoarouseanaversionforhiminmyheartbyyourmeddling,inorderthatImightgivehimup;anditwasonlyafterwardsthatIguessedthetruth。Youimaginedthatyouweredoinganheroicaction!Howcouldyouspareanyloveforhim,whenyouloveyourownvanitytosuchanextent?Whycouldyounotsimplygoawayfromhere,insteadofwritingmethoseabsurdletters?WhydoyounotNOWmarrythatgenerousmanwholovesyou,andhasdoneyouthehonourofofferingyouhishand?Itisplainenoughwhy;ifyoumarryRogojinyouloseyourgrievance;

  youwillhavenothingmoretocomplainof。Youwillbereceivingtoomuchhonour。EvgeniePavlovitchwassayingtheotherdaythatyouhadreadtoomanypoemsandaretoowelleducatedfor——yourposition;andthatyouliveinidleness。Addtothisyourvanity,and,thereyouhavereasonenough——\"

  \"Anddoyounotliveinidleness?\"

  Thingshadcometothisunexpectedpointtooquickly。UnexpectedbecauseNastasiaPhilipovna,onherwaytoPavlofsk,hadthoughtandconsideredagooddeal,andhadexpectedsomethingdifferent,thoughperhapsnotaltogethergood,fromthisinterview;butAglayahadbeencarriedawaybyherownoutburst,justasarollingstonegathersimpetusasitcareersdownhill,andcouldnotrestrainherselfinthesatisfactionofrevenge。

  Itwasstrange,NastasiaPhilipovnafelt,toseeAglayalikethis。Shegazedather,andcouldhardlybelievehereyesandearsforamomentortwo。

  Whethershewereawomanwhohadreadtoomanypoems,asEvgeniePavlovitchsupposed,orwhethersheweremad,astheprincehadassuredAglaya,atallevents,thiswasawomanwho,inspiteofheroccasionallycynicalandaudaciousmanner,wasfarmorerefinedandtrustfulandsensitivethanappeared。Therewasacertainamountofromanticdreaminessandcapriceinher,butwiththefantasticwasmingledmuchthatwasstronganddeep。

  Theprincerealizedthis,andgreatsufferingexpresseditselfinhisface。

  Aglayaobservedit,andtrembledwithanger。

  \"Howdareyouspeaksotome?\"shesaid,withahaughtinesswhichwasquiteindescribable,replyingtoNastasia’slastremark。

  \"YoumusthavemisunderstoodwhatIsaid,\"saidNastasia,insomesurprise。

  \"Ifyouwishedtopreserveyourgoodname,whydidyounotgiveupyour——your’guardian,’Totski,withoutallthattheatricalposturing?\"saidAglaya,suddenlyaproposofnothing。

  \"Whatdoyouknowofmyposition,thatyoudaretojudgeme?\"

  criedNastasia,quiveringwithrage,andgrowingterriblywhite。

  \"Iknowthismuch,thatyoudidnotgoouttohonestwork,butwentawaywitharichman,Rogojin,inordertoposeasafallenangel。Idon’twonderthatTotskiwasnearlydriventosuicidebysuchafallenangel。\"

  \"Silence!\"criedNastasiaPhilipovna。\"Youareaboutasfittounderstandmeasthehousemaidhere,whoborewitnessagainstherloverincourttheotherday。Shewouldunderstandmebetterthanyoudo。\"

  \"Probablyanhonestgirllivingbyherowntoil。Whydoyouspeakofahousemaidsocontemptuously?\"

  \"Idonotdespisetoil;Idespiseyouwhenyouspeakoftoil。\"

  \"Ifyouhadcaredtobeanhonestwoman,youwouldhavegoneoutasalaundress。\"

  Bothhadrisen,andweregazingatoneanotherwithpallidfaces。

  \"Aglaya,don’t!Thisisunfair,\"criedtheprince,deeplydistressed。

  Rogojinwasnotsmilingnow;hesatandlistenedwithfoldedarms,andlipstightcompressed。

  \"There,lookather,\"criedNastasia,tremblingwithpassion。

  \"Lookatthisyounglady!AndIimaginedheranangel!Didyoucometomewithoutyourgoverness,AglayaIvanovna?Oh,fie,nowshallIjusttellyouwhyyoucameheretoday?ShallItellyouwithoutanyembellishments?Youcamebecauseyouwereafraidofme!\"

  \"AfraidofYOU?\"askedAglaya,besideherselfwithnaiveamazementthattheothershoulddaretalktoherlikethis。

  \"Yes,me,ofcourse!Ofcourseyouwereafraidofme,oryouwouldnothavedecidedtocome。Youcannotdespiseoneyoufear。

  AndtothinkthatIhaveactuallyesteemedyouuptothisverymoment!Doyouknowwhyyouareafraidofme,andwhatisyourobjectnow?Youwishedtosatisfyyourselfwithyourowneyesastowhichhelovesbest,myselforyou,becauseyouarefearfullyjealous。\"

  \"Hehastoldmealreadythathehatesyou,\"murmuredAglaya,scarcelyaudibly。

  \"Perhaps,perhaps!Iamnotworthyofhim,Iknow。ButIthinkyouarelying,allthesame。Hecannothateme,andhecannothavesaidso。Iamreadytoforgiveyou,inconsiderationofyourposition;butIconfessIthoughtbetterofyou。Ithoughtyouwerewiser,andmorebeautiful,too;Idid,indeed!Well,takeyourtreasure!See,heisgazingatyou,hecan’trecollecthimself。Takehim,butononecondition;goawayatonce,thisinstant!\"

  Shefellbackintoachair,andburstintotears。Butsuddenlysomenewexpressionblazedinhereyes。ShestaredfixedlyatAglaya,androsefromherseat。

  \"Orwouldyoulikemetobidhim,BIDHIM,doyouhear,COMMAND

  HIM,now,atonce,tothrowyouup,andremainmineforever?

  ShallI?Hewillstay,andhewillmarrymetoo,andyoushalltrothomeallalone。ShallI?——shallIsaytheword?\"shescreamedlikeamadwoman,scarcelybelievingherselfthatshecouldreallypronouncesuchwildwords。

  Aglayahadmadeforthedoorinterror,butshestoppedatthethreshold,andlistened。\"ShallIturnRogojinoff?Ha!ha!youthoughtIwouldmarryhimforyourbenefit,didyou?Why,I’llcalloutNOW,ifyoulike,inyourpresence,’Rogojin,getout!’

  andsaytotheprince,’Doyourememberwhatyoupromisedme?’

  Heavens!whatafoolIhavebeentohumiliatemyselfbeforethem!

  Why,prince,youyourselfgavemeyourwordthatyouwouldmarrymewhateverhappened,andwouldneverabandonme。Yousaidyoulovedmeandwouldforgivemeall,and——andresp——yes,youevensaidthat!Ionlyranawayfromyouinordertosetyoufree,andnowIdon’tcaretoletyougoagain。Whydoesshetreatmeso——

  soshamefully?Iamnotaloosewoman——askRogojinthere!He’lltellyou。Willyougoagainnowthatshehasinsultedme,beforeyoureyes,too;turnawayfrommeandleadheraway,arm-in-arm?

  Mayyoubeaccursedtoo,foryouweretheonlyoneItrustedamongthemall!Goaway,Rogojin,Idon’twantyou,\"shecontinued,blindwithfury,andforcingthewordsoutwithdrylipsanddistortedfeatures,evidentlynotbelievingasinglewordofherowntirade,but,atthesametime,doingherutmosttoprolongthemomentofself-deception。

  Theoutburstwassoterriblyviolentthattheprincethoughtitwouldhavekilledher。

  \"Thereheis!\"sheshriekedagain,pointingtotheprinceandaddressingAglaya。\"Thereheis!andifhedoesnotapproachmeatonceandtakeMEandthrowyouover,thenhavehimforyourown——Igivehimuptoyou!Idon’twanthim!\"

  BothsheandAglayastoodandwaitedasthoughinexpectation,andbothlookedattheprincelikemadwomen。

  Buthe,perhaps,didnotunderstandthefullforceofthischallenge;infact,itiscertainhedidnot。Allhecouldseewasthepoordespairingfacewhich,ashehadsaidtoAglaya,\"hadpiercedhisheartforever。\"

  Hecouldbearitnolonger,andwithalookofentreaty,mingledwithreproach,headdressedAglaya,pointingtoNastasiathewhile:

  \"Howcanyou?\"hemurmured;\"sheissounhappy。\"

  Buthehadnotimetosayanotherwordbefore。Aglaya’sterriblelookberefthimofspeech。Inthatlookwasembodiedsodreadfulasufferingandsodeadlyahatred,thathegaveacryandflewtoher;butitwastoolate。

  Shecouldnotholdoutlongenougheventowitnesshismovementinherdirection。Shehadhiddenherfaceinherhands,criedonce\"Oh,myGod!\"andrushedoutoftheroom。Rogojinfollowedhertoundotheboltsofthedoorandletheroutintothestreet。

  Theprincemadearushafterher,buthe,wascaughtandheldback。Thedistorted,lividfaceofNastasiagazedathimreproachfully,andherbluelipswhispered:

  \"What?Wouldyougotoher——toher?\"

  Shefellsenselessintohisarms。

  Heraisedher,carriedherintotheroom,placedherinanarm-

  chair,andstoodoverher,stupefied。Onthetablestoodatumblerofwater。Rogojin,whonowreturned,tookthisandsprinkledalittleinherface。Sheopenedhereyes,butforamomentsheunderstoodnothing。

  Suddenlyshelookedaround,shuddered,gavealoudcry,andthrewherselfintheprince’sarms。

  \"Mine,mine!\"shecried。\"Hastheproudyoungladygone?Ha,ha,ha!\"shelaughedhysterically。\"AndIhadgivenhimuptoher!

  Why——whydidI?Mad——mad!Getaway,Rogojin!Ha,ha,ha!\"

  Rogojinstaredintentlyatthem;thenhetookhishat,andwithoutaword,lefttheroom。

  Afewmomentslater,theprincewasseatedbyNastasiaonthesofa,gazingintohereyesandstrokingherfaceandhair,ashewouldalittlechild’s。Helaughedwhenshelaughed,andwasreadytocrywhenshecried。Hedidnotspeak,butlistenedtoherexcited,disconnectedchatter,hardlyunderstandingawordofitthewhile。Nosoonerdidhedetecttheslightestappearanceofcomplaining,orweeping,orreproaching,thanhewouldsmileatherkindly,andbeginstrokingherhairandhercheeks,soothingandconsolingheroncemore,asifshewereachild。

  IX。

  AFORTNIGHThadpassedsincetheeventsrecordedinthelastchapter,andthepositionoftheactorsinourstoryhadbecomesochangedthatitisalmostimpossibleforustocontinuethetalewithoutsomefewexplanations。Yetwefeelthatweoughttolimitourselvestothesimplerecordoffacts,withoutmuchattemptatexplanation,foraverypatentreason:becauseweourselveshavethegreatestpossibledifficultyinaccountingforthefactstoberecorded。Suchastatementonourpartmayappearstrangetothereader。Howisanyonetotellastorywhichhecannotunderstandhimself?Inordertokeepclearofafalseposition,wehadperhapsbettergiveanexampleofwhatwemean;

  andprobablytheintelligentreaderwillsoonunderstandthedifficulty。Moreespeciallyareweinclinedtotakethiscoursesincetheexamplewillconstituteadistinctmarchforwardofourstory,andwillnothindertheprogressoftheeventsremainingtoberecorded。

  Duringthenextfortnight——thatis,throughtheearlypartofJuly——thehistoryofourherowascirculatedintheformofstrange,diverting,mostunlikely-soundingstories,whichpassedfrommouthtomouth,throughthestreetsandvillasadjoiningthoseinhabitedbyLebedeff,Ptitsin,NastasiaPhilipovnaandtheEpanchins;infact,prettywellthroughthewholetownanditsenvirons。Allsociety——boththeinhabitantsoftheplaceandthosewhocamedownofaneveningforthemusic——hadgotholdofoneandthesamestory,inathousandvarietiesofdetail——astohowacertainyoungprincehadraisedaterriblescandalinamostrespectablehousehold,hadthrownoveradaughterofthefamily,towhomhewasengaged,andhadbeencapturedbyawomanofshadyreputationwhomhewasdeterminedtomarryatonce——

  breakingoffalloldtiesforthesatisfactionofhisinsaneidea;and,inspiteofthepublicindignationrousedbyhisaction,themarriagewastotakeplaceinPavlofskopenlyandpublicly,andtheprincehadannouncedhisintentionofgoingthroughwithitwithheaderectandlookingthewholeworldintheface。Thestorywassoartfullyadornedwithscandalousdetails,andpersonsofsogreateminenceandimportancewereapparentlymixedupinit,while,atthesametime,theevidencewassocircumstantial,thatitwasnowonderthemattergavefoodforplentyofcuriosityandgossip。

  Accordingtothereportsofthemosttalentedgossip-mongers——

  thosewho,ineveryclassofsociety,arealwaysinhastetoexplaineveryeventtotheirneighbours——theyounggentlemanconcernedwasofgoodfamily——aprince——fairlyrich——weakofintellect,butademocratandadabblerintheNihilismoftheperiod,asexposedbyMr。Turgenieff。HecouldhardlytalkRussian,buthadfalleninlovewithoneoftheMissEpanchins,andhissuitmetwithsomuchencouragementthathehadbeenreceivedinthehouseastherecognizedbridegroom-to-beoftheyounglady。ButliketheFrenchmanofwhomthestoryistoldthathestudiedforholyorders,tookalltheoaths,wasordainedpriest,andnextmorningwrotetohisbishopinforminghimthat,ashedidnotbelieveinGodandconsidereditwrongtodeceivethepeopleandliveupontheirpockets,hebeggedtosurrendertheordersconferreduponhimthedaybefore,andtoinformhislordshipthathewassendingthislettertothepublicpress,——

  likethisFrenchman,theprinceplayedafalsegame。Itwasrumouredthathehadpurposelywaitedforthesolemnoccasionofalargeeveningpartyatthehouseofhisfuturebride,atwhichhewasintroducedtoseveraleminentpersons,inorderpubliclytomakeknownhisideasandopinions,andtherebyinsultthe\"big-wigs,\"andtothrowoverhisbrideasoffensivelyaspossible;andthat,resistingtheservantswhoweretoldofftoturnhimoutofthehouse,hehadseizedandthrowndownamagnificentchinavase。Asacharacteristicadditiontotheabove,itwascurrentlyreportedthattheyoungprincereallylovedtheladytowhomhewasengaged,andhadthrownheroveroutofpurelyNihilisticmotives,withtheintentionofgivinghimselfthesatisfactionofmarryingafallenwomaninthefaceofalltheworld,therebypublishinghisopinionthatthereisnodistinctionbetweenvirtuousanddisreputablewomen,butthatallwomenarealike,free;anda\"fallen\"woman,indeed,somewhatsuperiortoavirtuousone。

  Itwasdeclaredthathebelievedinnoclassesoranythingelse,excepting\"thewomanquestion。\"

  Allthislookedlikelyenough,andwasacceptedasfactbymostoftheinhabitantsoftheplace,especiallyasitwasborneout,moreorless,bydailyoccurrences。

  Ofcoursemuchwassaidthatcouldnotbedeterminedabsolutely。

  Forinstance,itwasreportedthatthepoorgirlhadsolovedherfuturehusbandthatshehadfollowedhimtothehouseoftheotherwoman,thedayaftershehadbeenthrownover;otherssaidthathehadinsistedonhercoming,himself,inordertoshameandinsultherbyhistauntsandNihilisticconfessionswhenshereachedthehouse。Howeverallthesethingsmightbe,thepublicinterestinthemattergrewdaily,especiallyasitbecameclearthatthescandalousweddingwasundoubtedlytotakeplace。

  Sothatifourreadersweretoaskanexplanation,notofthewildreportsabouttheprince’sNihilisticopinions,butsimplyastohowsuchamarriagecouldpossiblysatisfyhisrealaspirations,orastothespiritualconditionofourheroatthistime,weconfessthatweshouldhavegreatdifficultyingivingtherequiredinformation。

  Allweknowis,thatthemarriagereallywasarranged,andthattheprincehadcommissionedLebedeffandKellertolookafterallthenecessarybusinessconnectedwithit;thathehadrequestedthemtosparenoexpense;thatNastasiaherselfwashurryingonthewedding;thatKellerwastobetheprince’sbestman,athisownearnestrequest;andthatBurdovskywastogiveNastasiaaway,tohisgreatdelight。TheweddingwastotakeplacebeforethemiddleofJuly。

  But,besidestheabove,wearecognizantofcertainotherundoubtedfacts,whichpuzzleusagooddealbecausetheyseemflatlytocontradicttheforegoing。

  Wesuspect,forinstance,thathavingcommissionedLebedeffandtheothers,asabove,theprinceimmediatelyforgotallaboutmastersofceremoniesandeventheceremonyitself;andwefeelquitecertainthatinmakingthesearrangementshedidsoinorderthathemightabsolutelyescapeallthoughtofthewedding,andevenforgetitsapproachifhecould,bydetailingallbusinessconcerningittoothers。

点击下载App,搜索"The Idiot",免费读到尾