Whydoyouteasehim?\"criedtheprince,suddenly。
\"You’vemovedhimtotears,\"addedFerdishenko。ButHippolytewasbynomeansweeping。Hewasabouttomovefromhisplace,whenhisfourguardsrushedathimandseizedhimoncemore。Therewasalaughatthis。
\"Heleduptothisonpurpose。Hetookthetroubleofwritingallthatsothatpeopleshouldcomeandgrabhimbythearm,\"
observedRogojin。\"Good-night,prince。Whatatimewe’vesathere,myverybonesache!\"
\"Ifyoureallyintendedtoshootyourself,Terentieff,\"saidEvgeniePavlovitch,laughing,\"ifIwereyou,afterallthesecompliments,Ishouldjustnotshootmyselfinordertovexthemall。\"
\"Theyareveryanxioustoseemeblowmybrainsout,\"saidHippolyte,bitterly。
\"Yes,they’llbeawfullyannoyediftheydon’tseeit。\"
\"Thenyouthinktheywon’tseeit?\"
\"Iamnottryingtoeggyouon。Onthecontrary,Ithinkitverylikelythatyoumayshootyourself;buttheprincipalthingistokeepcool,\"saidEvgeniewithadrawl,andwithgreatcondescension。
\"IonlynowperceivewhataterriblemistakeImadeinreadingthisarticletothem,\"saidHippolyte,suddenly,addressingEvgenie,andlookingathimwithanexpressionoftrustandconfidence,asthoughhewereapplyingtoafriendforcounsel。
\"Yes,it’sadrollsituation;Ireallydon’tknowwhatadvicetogiveyou,\"repliedEvgenie,laughing。Hippolytegazedsteadfastlyathim,butsaidnothing。Tolookathimonemighthavesupposedthathewasunconsciousatintervals。
\"Excuseme,\"saidLebedeff,\"butdidyouobservetheyounggentleman’sstyle?’I’llgoandblowmybrainsoutinthepark,’
sayshe,’soasnottodisturbanyone。’Hethinkshewon’tdisturbanybodyifhegoesthreeyardsaway,intothepark,andblowshisbrainsoutthere。\"
\"Gentlemen——\"begantheprince。
\"No,no,excuseme,mostreveredprince,\"Lebedeffinterrupted,excitedly。\"Sinceyoumusthaveobservedyourselfthatthisisnojoke,andsinceatleasthalfyourguestsmustalsohaveconcludedthatafterallthathasbeensaidthisyouthMUSTblowhisbrainsoutforhonour’ssake——I——asmasterofthishouse,andbeforethesewitnesses,nowcalluponyoutotakesteps。\"
\"Yes,butwhatamItodo,Lebedeff?WhatstepsamItotake?I
amready。\"
\"I’lltellyou。Inthefirstplacehemustimmediatelydeliverupthepistolwhichheboastedof,withallitsappurtenances。IfhedoesthisIshallconsenttohisbeingallowedtospendthenightinthishouse——consideringhisfeeblestateofhealth,andofcourseconditionallyuponhisbeingunderpropersupervision。Buttomorrowhemustgoelsewhere。Excuseme,prince!Shouldherefusetodeliveruphisweapon,thenIshallinstantlyseizeoneofhisarmsandGeneralIvolgintheother,andweshallholdhimuntilthepolicearriveandtakethematterintotheirownhands。
Mr。Ferdishenkowillkindlyfetchthem。\"
Atthistherewasadreadfulnoise;Lebedeffdancedaboutinhisexcitement;Ferdishenkopreparedtogoforthepolice;Ganiafranticallyinsistedthatitwasallnonsense,\"fornobodywasgoingtoshootthemselves。\"EvgeniePavlovitchsaidnothing。
\"Prince,\"whisperedHippolyte,suddenly,hiseyesallablaze,\"youdon’tsupposethatIdidnotforeseeallthishatred?\"Helookedattheprinceasthoughheexpectedhimtoreply,foramoment。\"Enough!\"headdedatlength,andaddressingthewholecompany,hecried:\"It’sallmyfault,gentlemen!Lebedeff,here’sthekey,\"hetookoutasmallbunchofkeys;\"thisone,thelastbutone——Coliawillshowyou——Colia,where’sColia?\"hecried,lookingstraightatColiaandnotseeinghim。\"Yes,he’llshowyou;hepackedthebagwithmethismorning。Takehimup,Colia;mybagisupstairsintheprince’sstudy,underthetable。
Here’sthekey,andinthelittlecaseyou’llfindmypistolandthepowder,andall。Coliapackedithimself,Mr。Lebedeff;he’llshowyou;butit’sonconditionthattomorrowmorning,whenI
leaveforPetersburg,youwillgivemebackmypistol,doyouhear?Idothisfortheprince’ssake,notyours。\"
\"Capital,that’smuchbetter!\"criedLebedeff,andseizingthekeyhemadeoffinhaste。
Coliastoppedamomentasthoughhewishedtosaysomething;butLebedeffdraggedhimaway。
Hippolytelookedaroundatthelaughingguests。Theprinceobservedthathisteethwerechatteringasthoughinaviolentattackofague。
\"Whatbrutestheyallare!\"hewhisperedtotheprince。Wheneverheaddressedhimheloweredhisvoice。
\"Letthemalone,you’retooweaknow——\"
Yes,directly;I’llgoawaydirectly。I’ll——\"
SuddenlyheembracedMuishkin。
\"PerhapsyouthinkIammad,eh?\"heaskedhim,laughingverystrangely。
\"No,butyou——\"
\"Directly,directly!Standstillamoment,Iwishtolookinyoureyes;don’tspeak——standso——letmelookatyou!Iambiddingfarewelltomankind。\"
Hestoodsofortenseconds,gazingattheprince,motionless,deadlypale,histempleswetwithperspiration;heheldtheprince’shandinastrangegrip,asthoughafraidtolethimgo。
\"Hippolyte,Hippolyte,whatisthematterwithyou?\"criedMuishkin。
\"Directly!There,that’senough。I’llliedowndirectly。Imustdrinktothesun’shealth。Iwishto——Iinsistuponit!Letgo!\"
Heseizedaglassfromthetable,brokeawayfromtheprince,andinamomenthadreachedtheterracesteps。
Theprincemadeafterhim,butitsohappenedthatatthismomentEvgeniePavlovitchstretchedouthishandtosaygood-night。Thenextinstanttherewasageneraloutcry,andthenfollowedafewmomentsofindescribableexcitement。
Reachingthesteps,Hippolytehadpaused,holdingtheglassinhislefthandwhileheputhisrighthandintohiscoatpocket。
Kellerinsistedafterwardsthathehadheldhisrighthandinhispocketallthewhile,whenhewasspeakingtotheprince,andthathehadheldthelatter’sshoulderwithhislefthandonly。
Thiscircumstance,Kelleraffirmed,hadledhimtofeelsomesuspicionfromthefirst。Howeverthismaybe,KellerranafterHippolyte,buthewastoolate。
HecaughtsightofsomethingflashinginHippolyte’srighthand,andsawthatitwasapistol。Herushedathim,butatthatveryinstantHippolyteraisedthepistoltohistempleandpulledthetrigger。Therefollowedasharpmetallicclick,butnoreport。
WhenKellerseizedthewould-besuicide,thelatterfellforwardintohisarms,probablyactuallybelievingthathewasshot。
Kellerhadholdofthepistolnow。Hippolytewasimmediatelyplacedinachair,whilethewholecompanythrongedaroundexcitedly,talkingandaskingeachotherquestions。Everyoneofthemhadheardthesnapofthetrigger,andyettheysawaliveandapparentlyunharmedmanbeforethem。
Hippolytehimselfsatquiteunconsciousofwhatwasgoingon,andgazedaroundwithasenselessexpression。
LebedeffandColiacamerushingupatthismoment。
\"Whatisit?\"someoneasked,breathlessly——\"Amisfire?\"
\"Perhapsitwasn’tloaded,\"saidseveralvoices。
\"It’sloadedallright,\"saidKeller,examiningthepistol,\"but——\"
\"What!diditmissfire?\"
\"Therewasnocapinit,\"Kellerannounced。
Itwouldbedifficulttodescribethepitiablescenethatnowfollowed。Thefirstsensationofalarmsoongaveplacetoamusement;someburstoutlaughingloudandheartily,andseemedtofindamalicioussatisfactioninthejoke。PoorHippolytesobbedhysterically;hewrunghishands;heapproachedeveryoneinturn——evenFerdishenko——andtookthembybothhands,andsworesolemnlythathehadforgotten——absolutelyforgotten——
\"accidentally,andnotonpurpose,\"——toputacapin——thathe\"hadtenofthem,atleast,inhispocket。\"Hepulledthemoutandshowedthemtoeveryone;heprotestedthathehadnotlikedtoputoneinbeforehandforfearofanaccidentalexplosioninhispocket。Thathehadthoughthewouldhavelotsoftimetoputitinafterwards——whenrequired——and,that,intheheatofthemoment,hehadforgottenallaboutit。Hethrewhimselfupontheprince,thenonEvgeniePavlovitch。HeentreatedKellertogivehimbackthepistol,andhe’dsoonshowthemallthat\"hishonour——hishonour,\"——buthewas\"dishonoured,now,forever!\"
Hefellsenselessatlast——andwascarriedintotheprince’sstudy。
Lebedeff,nowquitesobereddown,sentforadoctor;andheandhisdaughter,withBurdovskyandGeneralIvolgin,remainedbythesickman’scouch。
Whenhewascarriedawayunconscious,Kellerstoodinthemiddleoftheroom,andmadethefollowingdeclarationtothecompanyingeneral,inaloudtoneofvoice,withemphasisuponeachword。
\"Gentlemen,ifanyoneofyoucastsanydoubtagain,beforeme,uponHippolyte’sgoodfaith,orhintsthatthecapwasforgottenintentionally,orsuggeststhatthisunhappyboywasactingapartbeforeus,Ibegtoannouncethatthepersonsospeakingshallaccounttomeforhiswords。\"
Noonereplied。
Thecompanydepartedveryquickly,inamass。Ptitsin,Gania,andRogojinwentawaytogether。
TheprincewasmuchastonishedthatEvgeniePavlovitchchangedhismind,andtookhisdeparturewithouttheconversationhehadrequested。
\"Why,youwishedtohaveatalkwithmewhentheothersleft?\"hesaid。
\"Quiteso,\"saidEvgenie,sittingdownsuddenlybesidehim,\"butIhavechangedmymindforthetimebeing。Iconfess,Iamtoodisturbed,andso,Ithink,areyou;andthematterastowhichI
wishedtoconsultyouistooserioustotacklewithone’smindevenalittledisturbed;tooseriousbothformyselfandforyou。
Yousee,prince,foronceinmylifeIwishtoperformanabsolutelyhonestaction,thatis,anactionwithnoulteriormotive;andIthinkIamhardlyinaconditiontotalkofitjustatthismoment,and——and——well,we’lldiscussitanothertime。
Perhapsthemattermaygaininclearnessifwewaitfortwoorthreedays——justthetwoorthreedayswhichImustspendinPetersburg。\"
Hereheroseagainfromhischair,sothatitseemedstrangethatheshouldhavethoughtitworthwhiletositdownatall。
Theprincethought,too,thathelookedvexedandannoyed,andnotnearlysofriendlytowardshimselfashehadbeenearlierinthenight。
\"Isupposeyouwillgotothesufferer’sbedsidenow?\"headded。
\"Yes,Iamafraid……\"begantheprince。
\"Oh,youneedn’tfear!He’llliveanothersixweeksallright。
Verylikelyhewillrecoveraltogether;butIstronglyadviseyoutopackhimofftomorrow。\"
\"IthinkImayhaveoffendedhimbysayingnothingjustnow。IamafraidhemaysuspectthatIdoubtedhisgoodfaith,——aboutshootinghimself,youknow。Whatdoyouthink,EvgeniePavlovitch?\"
\"Notabitofit!Youaremuchtoogoodtohim;youshouldn’tcareahangaboutwhathethinks。Ihaveheardofsuchthingsbefore,butnevercameacross,tilltonight,amanwhowouldactuallyshoothimselfinordertogainavulgarnotoriety,orblowouthisbrainsforspite,ifhefindsthatpeopledon’tcaretopathimonthebackforhissanguinaryintentions。Butwhatastonishesmemorethananythingisthefellow’scandidconfessionofweakness。You’dbettergetridofhimtomorrow,inanycase。
\"Doyouthinkhewillmakeanotherattempt?\"
\"Ohno,nothe,notnow!Butyouhavetobeverycarefulwiththissortofgentleman。Crimeistoooftenthelastresourceofthesepettynonentities。Thisyoungfellowisquitecapableofcuttingthethroatsoftenpeople,simplyforalark,ashetoldusinhis’explanation。’Iassureyouthoseconfoundedwordsofhiswillnotletmesleep。\"
\"Ithinkyoudisturbyourselftoomuch。\"
\"Whatanextraordinarypersonyouare,prince!Doyoumeantosaythatyoudoubtthefactthatheiscapableofmurderingtenmen?\"
\"Idaren’tsay,onewayortheother;allthisisverystrange——
but——\"
\"Well,asyoulike,justasyoulike,\"saidEvgeniePavlovitch,irritably。\"Onlyyouaresuchapluckyfellow,takecareyoudon’tgetincludedamongthetenvictims!\"
\"Oh,heismuchmorelikelynottokillanyoneatall,\"saidtheprince,gazingthoughtfullyatEvgenie。Thelatterlaugheddisagreeably。
\"Well,aurevoir!Didyouobservethathe’willed’acopyofhisconfessiontoAglayaIvanovna?\"
\"Yes,Idid;Iamthinkingofit。\"
\"Inconnectionwith’theten,’eh?\"laughedEvgenie,ashelefttheroom。
Anhourlater,towardsfouro’clock,theprincewentintothepark。Hehadendeavouredtofallasleep,butcouldnot,owingtothepainfulbeatingofhisheart。
Hehadleftthingsquietandpeaceful;theinvalidwasfastasleep,andthedoctor,whohadbeencalledin,hadstatedthattherewasnospecialdanger。Lebedeff,Colia,andBurdovskywerelyingdowninthesick-room,readytotakeitinturnstowatch。
Therewasnothingtofear,therefore,athome。
Buttheprince’smentalperturbationincreasedeverymoment。Hewanderedaboutthepark,lookingabsentlyaroundhim,andpausedinastonishmentwhenhesuddenlyfoundhimselfintheemptyspacewiththerowsofchairsroundit,neartheVauxhall。Thelookoftheplacestruckhimasdreadfulnow:soheturnedroundandwentbythepathwhichhehadfollowedwiththeEpanchinsonthewaytotheband,untilhereachedthegreenbenchwhichAglayahadpointedoutfortheirrendezvous。Hesatdownonitandsuddenlyburstintoaloudfitoflaughter,immediatelyfollowedbyafeelingofirritation。Hisdisturbanceofmindcontinued;hefeltthathemustgoawaysomewhere,anywhere。
Abovehisheadsomelittlebirdsangout,ofasudden;hebegantopeeraboutforitamongtheleaves。Suddenlythebirddartedoutofthetreeandaway,andinstantlyhethoughtofthe\"flybuzzingaboutinthesun’srays\"thatHippolytehadtalkedof;
howthatitknewitsplaceandwasaparticipatorintheuniversallife,whilehealonewasan\"outcast。\"Thispicturehadimpressedhimatthetime,andhemeditateduponitnow。Anold,forgottenmemoryawokeinhisbrain,andsuddenlyburstintoclearnessandlight。ItwasarecollectionofSwitzerland,duringthefirstyearofhiscure,theveryfirstmonths。Atthattimehehadbeenprettynearlyanidiotstill;hecouldnotspeakproperly,andhaddifficultyinunderstandingwhenothersspoketohim。Heclimbedthemountain-side,onesunnymorning,andwanderedlongandaimlesslywithacertainthoughtinhisbrain,whichwouldnotbecomeclear。Abovehimwastheblazingsky,below,thelake;allaroundwasthehorizon,clearandinfinite。
Helookedoutuponthis,longandanxiously。Herememberedhowhehadstretchedouthisarmstowardsthebeautiful,boundlessblueofthehorizon,andwept,andwept。Whathadsotormentedhimwastheideathathewasastrangertoallthis,thathewasoutsidethisgloriousfestival。
Whatwasthisuniverse?Whatwasthisgrand,eternalpageanttowhichhehadyearnedfromhischildhoodup,andinwhichhecouldnevertakepart?Everymorningthesamemagnificentsun;everymorningthesamerainbowinthewaterfall;everyeveningthesameglowonthesnow-mountains。
Everylittleflythatbuzzedinthesun’srayswasasingerintheuniversalchorus,\"knewitsplace,andwashappyinit。
\"Everybladeofgrassgrewandwashappy。Everythingknewitspathandlovedit,wentforthwithasongandreturnedwithasong;onlyheknewnothing,understoodnothing,neithermennorwords,noranyofnature’svoices;hewasastrangerandanoutcast。
Oh,hecouldnotthenspeakthesewords,orexpressallhefelt!
Hehadbeentormenteddumbly;butnowitappearedtohimthathemusthavesaidtheseverywords——eventhen——andthatHippolytemusthavetakenhispictureofthelittleflyfromhistearsandwordsofthattime。
Hewassureofit,andhisheartbeatexcitedlyatthethought,heknewnotwhy。
Hefellasleeponthebench;buthismentaldisquietcontinuedthroughhisslumbers。
Justbeforehedozedoff,theideaofHippolytemurderingtenmenflittedthroughhisbrain,andhesmiledattheabsurdityofsuchathought。
Aroundhimallwasquiet;onlytheflutterandwhisperoftheleavesbrokethesilence,butbrokeitonlytocauseittoappearyetmoredeepandstill。
Hedreamedmanydreamsashesatthere,andallwerefullofdisquiet,sothatheshudderedeverymoment。
Atlengthawomanseemedtoapproachhim。Heknewher,oh!heknewheronlytoowell。Hecouldalwaysnameherandrecognizeheranywhere;but,strange,sheseemedtohavequiteadifferentfacefromhers,ashehadknownit,andhefeltatormentingdesiretobeabletosayshewasnotthesamewoman。Inthefacebeforehimtherewassuchdreadfulremorseandhorrorthathethoughtshemustbeacriminal,thatshemusthavejustcommittedsomeawfulcrime。
Tearsweretremblingonherwhitecheek。Shebeckonedhim,butplacedherfingeronherlipasthoughtowarnhimthathemustfollowherveryquietly。Hisheartfrozewithinhim。Hewouldn’t,heCOULDN’Tconfesshertobeacriminal,andyethefeltthatsomethingdreadfulwouldhappenthenextmoment,somethingwhichwouldblasthiswholelife。
Sheseemedtowishtoshowhimsomething,notfaroff,inthepark。
Herosefromhisseatinordertofollowher,whenabright,clearpealoflaughterrangoutbyhisside。Hefeltsomebody’shandsuddenlyinhisown,seizedit,pressedithard,andawoke。
BeforehimstoodAglaya,laughingaloud。
VIII。
SHElaughed,butshewasratherangrytoo。
\"He’sasleep!Youwereasleep,\"shesaid,withcontemptuoussurprise。
\"Isitreallyyou?\"mutteredtheprince,notquitehimselfasyet,andrecognizingherwithastartofamazement。\"Ohyes,ofcourse,\"headded,\"thisisourrendezvous。Ifellasleephere。\"
\"SoIsaw。\"
\"Didnooneawakemebesidesyourself?Wastherenooneelsehere?Ithoughttherewasanotherwoman。\"
\"Therewasanotherwomanhere?\"
Atlasthewaswideawake。
\"Itwasadream,ofcourse,\"hesaid,musingly。\"StrangethatI
shouldhaveadreamlikethatatsuchamoment。Sitdown——\"
Hetookherhandandseatedheronthebench;thensatdownbesideherandreflected。
Aglayadidnotbegintheconversation,butcontentedherselfwithwatchinghercompanionintently。
Helookedbackather,butattimesitwasclearthathedidnotseeherandwasnotthinkingofher。
Aglayabegantoflushup。
\"Ohyes!\"criedtheprince,starting。\"Hippolyte’ssuicide——\"
\"What?Atyourhouse?\"sheasked,butwithoutmuchsurprise。\"Hewasaliveyesterdayevening,wasn’the?Howcouldyousleephereafterthat?\"shecried,growingsuddenlyanimated。
\"Oh,buthedidn’tkillhimself;thepistoldidn’tgooff。\"
Aglayainsistedonhearingthewholestory。Shehurriedtheprincealong,butinterruptedhimwithallsortsofquestions,nearlyallofwhichwereirrelevant。Amongotherthings,sheseemedgreatlyinterestedineverywordthatEvgeniePavlovitchhadsaid,andmadetheprincerepeatthatpartofthestoryoverandoveragain。
\"Well,that’lldo;wemustbequick,\"sheconcluded,afterhearingall。\"Wehaveonlyanhourhere,tilleight;Imustbehomebythenwithoutfail,sothattheymaynotfindoutthatI
cameandsatherewithyou;butI’vecomeonbusiness。Ihaveagreatdealtosaytoyou。Butyouhavebowledmeoverconsiderablywithyournews。AstoHippolyte,Ithinkhispistolwasboundnottogooff;itwasmoreconsistentwiththewholeaffair。Areyousurehereallywishedtoblowhisbrainsout,andthattherewasnohumbugaboutthematter?\"
\"Nohumbugatall。\"
\"Verylikely。Sohewrotethatyouweretobringmeacopyofhisconfession,didhe?Whydidn’tyoubringit?\"
\"Why,hedidn’tdie!I’llaskhimforit,ifyoulike。\"
\"Bringitbyallmeans;youneedn’taskhim。Hewillbedelighted,youmaybesure;for,inallprobability,heshotathimselfsimplyinorderthatImightreadhisconfession。Don’tlaughatwhatIsay,please,LefNicolaievitch,becauseitmayverywellbethecase。\"
\"I’mnotlaughing。Iamconvinced,myself,thatthatmayhavebeenpartlythereason。
\"Youareconvinced?Youdon’treallymeantosayyouthinkthathonestly?\"askedAglaya,extremelysurprised。
Sheputherquestionsveryquicklyandtalkedfast,everynowandthenforgettingwhatshehadbeguntosay,andnotfinishinghersentence。Sheseemedtobeimpatienttowarntheprinceaboutsomethingorother。Shewasinastateofunusualexcitement,andthoughsheputonabraveandevendefiantair,sheseemedtoberatheralarmed。Shewasdressedverysimply,butthissuitedherwell。Shecontinuallytrembledandblushed,andshesatontheveryedgeoftheseat。
Thefactthattheprinceconfirmedheridea,aboutHippolyteshootinghimselfthatshemightreadhisconfession,surprisedhergreatly。
\"Ofcourse,\"addedtheprince,\"hewishedusalltoapplaudhisconduct——besidesyourself。\"
\"Howdoyoumean——applaud?\"
\"Well——howamItoexplain?Hewasveryanxiousthatweshouldallcomearoundhim,andsayweweresosorryforhim,andthatwelovedhimverymuch,andallthat;andthatwehopedhewouldn’tkillhimself,butremainalive。Verylikelyhethoughtmoreofyouthantherestofus,becausehementionedyouatsuchamoment,thoughperhapshedidnotknowhimselfthathehadyouinhismind’seye。\"
\"Idon’tunderstandyou。Howcouldhehavemeinview,andnotbeawareofithimself?Andyet,Idon’tknow——perhapsIdo。DoyouknowIhaveintendedtopoisonmyselfatleastthirtytimes——eversinceIwasthirteenorso——andtowritetomyparentsbeforeI
didit?Iusedtothinkhowniceitwouldbetolieinmycoffin,andhavethemallweepingovermeandsayingitwasalltheirfaultforbeingsocruel,andallthat——whatareyousmilingat?\"
sheadded,knittingherbrow。\"WhatdoYOUthinkofwhenyougomooningaboutalone?Isupposeyouimagineyourselfafield-
marshal,andthinkyouhaveconqueredNapoleon?\"
\"Well,Ireallyhavethoughtsomethingofthesortnowandthen,especiallywhenjustdozingoff,\"laughedtheprince。\"OnlyitistheAustrianswhomIconquer——notNapoleon。\"
\"Idon’twishtojokewithyou,LefNicolaievitch。IshallseeHippolytemyself。Tellhimso。Asforyou,Ithinkyouarebehavingverybadly,becauseitisnotrighttojudgeaman’ssoulasyouarejudgingHippolyte’s。Youhavenogentleness,butonlyjustice——soyouareunjust。\"
Theprincereflected。
\"Ithinkyouareunfairtowardsme,\"hesaid。\"ThereisnothingwronginthethoughtsIascribetoHippolyte;theyareonlynatural。ButofcourseIdon’tknowforcertainwhathethought。
Perhapshethoughtnothing,butsimplylongedtoseehumanfacesoncemore,andtohearhumanpraiseandfeelhumanaffection。Whoknows?Onlyitallcameoutwrong,somehow。Somepeoplehaveluck,andeverythingcomesoutrightwiththem;othershavenone,andneverathingturnsoutfortunately。\"
\"Isupposeyouhavefeltthatinyourowncase,\"saidAglaya。
\"Yes,Ihave,\"repliedtheprince,quiteunsuspiciousofanyironyintheremark。
\"H’m——well,atallevents,Ishouldn’thavefallenasleephere,inyourplace。Itwasn’tniceofyou,that。Isupposeyoufallasleepwhereveryousitdown?\"
\"ButIdidn’tsleepawinkallnight。Iwalkedandwalkedabout,andwenttowherethemusicwas——\"
\"Whatmusic?\"
\"Wheretheyplayedlastnight。ThenIfoundthisbenchandsatdown,andthoughtandthought——andatlastIfellfastasleep。\"
\"Oh,isthatit?Thatmakesadifference,perhaps。Whatdidyougotothebandstandfor?\"
\"Idon’tknow;I——\"
\"Verywell——afterwards。Youarealwaysinterruptingme。Whatwomanwasityouweredreamingabout?\"
\"Itwas——about——yousawher——\"
\"Quiteso;Iunderstand。Iunderstandquitewell。Youarevery——
Well,howdidsheappeartoyou?Whatdidshelooklike?No,I
don’twanttoknowanythingabouther,\"saidAglaya,angrily;
\"don’tinterruptme——\"
Shepausedamomentasthoughgettingbreath,ortryingtomasterherfeelingofannoyance。
\"Lookhere;thisiswhatIcalledyouherefor。Iwishtomakeyoua——toaskyoutobemyfriend。Whatdoyoustareatmelikethatfor?\"sheadded,almostangrily。
Theprincecertainlyhaddartedaratherpiercinglookather,andnowobservedthatshehadbeguntoblushviolently。Atsuchmoments,themoreAglayablushed,theangriershegrewwithherself;andthiswasclearlyexpressedinhereyes,whichflashedlikefire。Asarule,sheventedherwrathonherunfortunatecompanion,beitwhoitmight。Shewasveryconsciousofherownshyness,andwasnotnearlysotalkativeashersistersforthisreason——infact,attimesshewasmuchtooquiet。When,therefore,shewasboundtotalk,especiallyatsuchdelicatemomentsasthis,sheinvariablydidsowithanairofhaughtydefiance。Shealwaysknewbeforehandwhenshewasgoingtoblush,longbeforetheblushcame。
\"Perhapsyoudonotwishtoacceptmyproposition?\"sheasked,gazinghaughtilyattheprince。
\"Ohyes,Ido;butitissounnecessary。Imean,Ididnotthinkyouneedmakesuchaproposition,\"saidtheprince,lookingconfused。
\"Whatdidyousuppose,then?WhydidyouthinkIinvitedyououthere?Isupposeyouthinkmea’littlefool,’astheyallcallmeathome?\"
\"Ididn’tknowtheycalledyouafool。Icertainlydon’tthinkyouone。\"
\"Youdon’tthinkmeone!Oh,dearme!——that’sverycleverofyou;
youputitsoneatly,too。\"
\"Inmyopinion,youarefarfromafoolsometimes——infact,youareveryintelligent。YousaidaverycleverthingjustnowaboutmybeingunjustbecauseIhadONLYjustice。Ishallrememberthat,andthinkaboutit。\"
Aglayablushedwithpleasure。Allthesechangesinherexpressioncameaboutsonaturallyandsorapidly——theydelightedtheprince;hewatchedher,andlaughed。
\"Listen,\"shebeganagain;\"Ihavelongwaitedtotellyouallthis,eversincethetimewhenyousentmethatletter——evenbeforethat。HalfofwhatIhavetosayyouheardyesterday。I
consideryouthemosthonestanduprightofmen——morehonestanduprightthananyotherman;andifanybodysaysthatyourmindis——issometimesaffected,youknow——itisunfair。Ialwayssaysoandupholdit,becauseevenifyoursurfacemindbealittleaffectedofcourseyouwillnotfeelangrywithmefortalkingso——Iamspeakingfromahigherpointofviewyetyourrealmindisfarbetterthanalltheirsputtogether。SuchamindastheyhaveneverevenDREAMEDof;becausereally,thereareTWOminds——
thekindthatmatters,andthekindthatdoesn’tmatter。Isn’titso?\"
\"Maybe!maybeso!\"saidtheprince,faintly;hisheartwasbeatingpainfully。
\"Iknewyouwouldnotmisunderstandme,\"shesaid,triumphantly。
\"PrinceS。andEvgeniePavlovitchandAlexandradon’tunderstandanythingaboutthesetwokindsofmind,but,justfancy,mammadoes!\"
\"YouareverylikeLizabethaProkofievna。\"
\"What!surelynot?\"saidAglaya。
\"Yes,youare,indeed。\"
\"Thankyou;Iamgladtobelikemamma,\"shesaid,thoughtfully。
\"Yourespectherverymuch,don’tyou?\"sheadded,quiteunconsciousofthenaivenessofthequestion。
\"VERYmuch;andIamsogladthatyouhaverealizedthefact。\"
\"Iamveryglad,too,becausesheisoftenlaughedatbypeople。
Butlistentothechiefpoint。Ihavelongthoughtoverthematter,andatlastIhavechosenyou。Idon’twishpeopletolaughatme;Idon’twishpeopletothinkmea’littlefool。’I
don’twanttobechaffed。Ifeltallthisofasudden,andI
refusedEvgeniePavlovitchflatly,becauseIamnotgoingtobeforeverthrownatpeople’sheadstobemarried。Iwant——Iwant——
well,I’lltellyou,Iwishtorunawayfromhome,andIhavechosenyoutohelpme。\"
\"Runawayfromhome?\"criedtheprince。
\"Yes——yes——yes!Runawayfromhome!\"sherepeated,inatransportofrage。\"Iwon’t,Iwon’tbemadetoblusheveryminutebythemall!Idon’twanttoblushbeforePrinceS。orEvgeniePavlovitch,oranyone,andthereforeIhavechosenyou。Ishalltellyoueverything,EVERYTHING,eventhemostimportantthingsofall,wheneverIlike,andyouaretohidenothingfrommeonyourside。Iwanttospeaktoatleastoneperson,asIwouldtomyself。TheyhavesuddenlybeguntosaythatIamwaitingforyou,andinlovewithyou。Theybeganthisbeforeyouarrivedhere,andsoIdidn’tshowthemtheletter,andnowtheyallsayit,everyoneofthem。Iwanttobebrave,andbeafraidofnobody。Idon’twanttogototheirballsandthings——Iwanttodogood。Ihavelongdesiredtorunaway,forIhavebeenkeptshutupfortwentyyears,andtheyarealwaystryingtomarrymeoff。IwantedtorunawaywhenIwasfourteenyearsold——Iwasalittlefoolthen,Iknow——butnowIhaveworkeditallout,andI
havewaitedforyoutotellmeaboutforeigncountries。IhaveneverseenasingleGothiccathedral。ImustgotoRome;Imustseeallthemuseums;ImuststudyinParis。AllthislastyearI
havebeenpreparingandreadingforbiddenbooks。AlexandraandAdelaidaareallowedtoreadanythingtheylike,butImayn’t。I
don’twanttoquarrelwithmysisters,butItoldmyparentslongagothatIwishtochangemysocialposition。Ihavedecidedtotakeupteaching,andIcountonyoubecauseyousaidyoulovedchildren。Canwegoinforeducationtogether——ifnotatonce,thenafterwards?Wecoulddogoodtogether。Iwon’tbeageneral’sdaughteranymore!Tellme,areyouaverylearnedman?\"
\"Ohno;notatall。\"
\"Oh-h-h!I’msorryforthat。Ithoughtyouwere。IwonderwhyI
alwaysthoughtso——butatalleventsyou’llhelpme,won’tyou?
BecauseI’vechosenyou,youknow。\"
\"AglayaIvanovna,it’sabsurd。\"
ButIwill,IWILLrunaway!\"shecried——andhereyesflashedagainwithanger——\"andifyoudon’tagreeIshallgoandmarryGavrilaArdalionovitch!Iwon’tbeconsideredahorriblegirl,andaccusedofgoodnessknowswhat。\"
\"Areyououtofyourmind?\"criedtheprince,almoststartingfromhisseat。\"Whatdotheyaccuseyouof?Whoaccusesyou?\"
\"Athome,everybody,mother,mysisters,PrinceS。,eventhatdetestableColia!Iftheydon’tsayit,theythinkit。Itoldthemallsototheirfaces。Itoldmotherandfatherandeverybody。Mammawasillallthedayafterit,andnextdayfatherandAlexandratoldmethatIdidn’tunderstandwhatnonsenseIwastalking。Iinformedthemthattheylittleknewme——
Iwasnotasmallchild——Iunderstoodeverywordinthelanguage——
thatIhadreadacoupleofPauldeKok’snovelstwoyearssinceonpurpose,soastoknowallabouteverything。Nosoonerdidmammahearmesaythisthanshenearlyfainted!\"
Astrangethoughtpassedthroughtheprince’sbrain;hegazedintentlyatAglayaandsmiled。
HecouldnotbelievethatthiswasthesamehaughtyyounggirlwhohadoncesoproudlyshownhimGania’sletter。Hecouldnotunderstandhowthatproudandausterebeautycouldshowherselftobesuchanutterchild——achildwhoprobablydidnotevennowunderstandsomewords。
\"Haveyoualwayslivedathome,AglayaIvanovna?\"heasked。\"I
mean,haveyouneverbeentoschool,orcollege,oranything?\"
\"No——never——nowhere!I’vebeenathomeallmylife,corkedupinabottle;andtheyexpectmetobemarriedstraightoutofit。
Whatareyoulaughingatagain?Iobservethatyou,too,havetakentolaughingatme,andrangeyourselfontheirsideagainstme,\"sheadded,frowningangrily。\"Don’tirritateme——I’mbadenoughwithoutthat——Idon’tknowwhatIamdoingsometimes。IampersuadedthatyoucameheretodayinthefullbeliefthatIaminlovewithyou,andthatIarrangedthismeetingbecauseofthat,\"shecried,withannoyance。
\"IadmitIwasafraidthatthatwasthecase,yesterday,\"
blunderedtheprincehewasratherconfused,\"buttodayIamquiteconvincedthat\"
\"How?\"criedAglaya——andherlowerliptrembledviolently。\"YouwereAFRAIDthatI——youdaredtothinkthatI——goodgracious!yoususpected,perhaps,thatIsentforyoutocomehereinordertocatchyouinatrap,sothattheyshouldfindusheretogether,andmakeyoumarryme——\"
\"AglayaIvanovna,aren’tyouashamedofsayingsuchathing?Howcouldsuchahorribleideaenteryoursweet,innocentheart?Iamcertainyoudon’tbelieveawordofwhatyousay,andprobablyyoudon’tevenknowwhatyouaretalkingabout。\"
Aglayasatwithhereyesontheground;sheseemedtohavealarmedevenherselfbywhatshehadsaid。
\"No,I’mnot;I’mnotabitashamed!\"shemurmured。\"Andhowdoyouknowmyheartisinnocent?Andhowdaredyousendmealove——
letterthattime?\"
\"LOVE-LETTER?Myletteralove-letter?Thatletterwasthemostrespectfulofletters;itwentstraightfrommyheart,atwhatwasperhapsthemostpainfulmomentofmylife!Ithoughtofyouatthetimeasakindoflight。I——\"
\"Well,verywell,verywell!\"shesaid,butquiteinadifferenttone。Shewasremorsefulnow,andbentforwardtotouchhisshoulder,thoughstilltryingnottolookhimintheface,asifthemorepersuasivelytobeghimnottobeangrywithher。\"Verywell,\"shecontinued,lookingthoroughlyashamedofherself,\"I
feelthatIsaidaveryfoolishthing。Ionlydiditjusttotryyou。Takeitasunsaid,andifIoffendedyou,forgiveme。Don’tlookstraightatmelikethat,please;turnyourheadaway。Youcalledita’horribleidea’;Ionlysaidittoshockyou。VeryoftenIammyselfafraidofsayingwhatIintendtosay,andoutitcomesallthesame。Youhavejusttoldmethatyouwrotethatletteratthemostpainfulmomentofyourlife。Iknowwhatmomentthatwas!\"sheaddedsoftly,lookingatthegroundagain。
\"Oh,ifyoucouldknowall!\"
\"IDOknowall!\"shecried,withanotherburstofindignation。
\"Youwerelivinginthesamehouseasthathorriblewomanwithwhomyouranaway。\"Shedidnotblushasshesaidthis;onthecontrary,shegrewpale,andstartedfromherseat,apparentlyobliviousofwhatshedid,andimmediatelysatdownagain。Herlipcontinuedtotrembleforalongtime。
Therewassilenceforamoment。Theprincewastakenabackbythesuddennessofthislastreply,anddidnotknowtowhatheshouldattributeit。
\"Idon’tloveyouabit!\"shesaidsuddenly,justasthoughthewordshadexplodedfromhermouth。
Theprincedidnotanswer,andtherewassilenceagain。\"IloveGavrilaArdalionovitch,\"shesaid,quickly;buthardlyaudibly,andwithherheadbentlowerthanever。
\"ThatisNOTtrue,\"saidtheprince,inanequallylowvoice。
\"What!Itellstories,doI?Itistrue!Igavehimmypromiseacoupleofdaysagoonthisveryseat。\"
Theprincewasstartled,andreflectedforamoment。
\"Itisnottrue,\"herepeated,decidedly;\"youhavejustinventedit!\"
\"Youarewonderfullypolite。Youknowheisgreatlyimproved。Helovesmebetterthanhislife。Helethishandburnbeforemyveryeyesinordertoprovetomethathelovedmebetterthanhislife!\"
\"Heburnedhishand!\"
\"Yes,believeitornot!It’sallthesametome!\"
Theprincesatsilentoncemore。Aglayadidnotseemtobejoking;shewastooangryforthat。
\"What!hebroughtacandlewithhimtothisplace?Thatis,iftheepisodehappenedhere;otherwiseIcan’t\"
\"Yes,acandle!What’sthereimprobableaboutthat?\"
\"Awholeone,andinacandlestick?\"
\"Yes——no-halfacandle——anend,youknow——no,itwasawholecandle;it’sallthesame。Bequiet,can’tyou!Hebroughtaboxofmatchestoo,ifyoulike,andthenlightedthecandleandheldhisfingerinitforhalfanhourandmore!——There!Can’tthatbe?\"
\"Isawhimyesterday,andhisfingerswereallright!\"
Aglayasuddenlyburstoutlaughing,assimplyasachild。
\"DoyouknowwhyIhavejusttoldyoutheselies?\"Sheappealedtotheprince,ofasudden,withthemostchildlikecandour,andwiththelaughstilltremblingonherlips。\"Becausewhenonetellsalie,ifoneinsistsonsomethingunusualandeccentric——
somethingtoo’outoftheway’’foranything,youknow——themoreimpossiblethethingis,themoreplausibledoestheliesound。
I’venoticedthis。ButImanageditbadly;Ididn’tknowhowtoworkit。\"Shesuddenlyfrownedagainatthispointasthoughatsomesuddenunpleasantrecollection。
\"If\"——shebegan,lookingseriouslyandevensadlyathim——\"ifwhenIreadyouallthataboutthe’poorknight,’Iwishedto-topraiseyouforonething——IalsowishedtoshowyouthatIknewall——anddidnotapproveofyourconduct。\"
\"Youareveryunfairtome,andtothatunfortunatewomanofwhomyouspokejustnowinsuchdreadfulterms,Aglaya。\"
\"BecauseIknowall,all——andthatiswhyIspeakso。Iknowverywellhowyou——halfayearsince——offeredheryourhandbeforeeverybody。Don’tinterruptme。Yousee,Iammerelystatingfactswithoutanycommentuponthem。AfterthatsheranawaywithRogojin。Thenyoulivedwithheratsomevillageortown,andsheranawayfromyou。\"Aglayablusheddreadfully。\"ThenshereturnedtoRogojinagain,wholovesherlikeamadman。Thenyou——likeawisemanasyouare——camebackhereafterherassoonaseveryouheardthatshehadreturnedtoPetersburg。Yesterdayeveningyousprangforwardtoprotecther,andjustnowyoudreamedabouther。Yousee,Iknowall。Youdidcomebackhereforher,forher——nowdidn’tyou?\"
\"Yes——forher!\"saidtheprincesoftlyandsadly,andbendinghisheaddown,quiteunconsciousofthefactthatAglayawasgazingathimwitheyeswhichburnedlikelivecoals。\"Icametofindoutsomething——Idon’tbelieveinherfuturehappinessasRogojin’swife,although——inaword,Ididnotknowhowtohelpherorwhattodoforher——butIcame,onthechance。\"
HeglancedatAglaya,whowaslisteningwithalookofhatredonherface。
\"Ifyoucamewithoutknowingwhy,Isupposeyouloveherverymuchindeed!\"shesaidatlast。
\"No,\"saidtheprince,\"no,Idonotloveher。Oh!ifyouonlyknewwithwhathorrorIrecallthetimeIspentwithher!\"
Ashudderseemedtosweepoverhiswholebodyattherecollection。
\"Tellmeaboutit,\"saidAglaya。
\"Thereisnothingwhichyoumightnothear。WhyIshouldwishtotellyou,andonlyyou,thisexperienceofmine,Ireallycannotsay;perhapsitreallyisbecauseIloveyouverymuch。Thisunhappywomanispersuadedthatsheisthemosthopeless,fallencreatureintheworld。Oh,donotcondemnher!Donotcaststonesather!Shehassufferedtoomuchalreadyintheconsciousnessofherownundeservedshame。
\"Andsheisnotguilty——ohGod!——Everymomentshebemoansandbewailsherself,andcriesoutthatshedoesnotadmitanyguilt,thatsheisthevictimofcircumstances——thevictimofawickedlibertine。
\"Butwhatevershemaysay,rememberthatshedoesnotbelieveitherself,——rememberthatshewillbelievenothingbutthatsheisaguiltycreature。
\"WhenItriedtoridhersoulofthisgloomyfallacy,shesufferedsoterriblythatmyheartwillneverbequiteatpeacesolongasIcanrememberthatdreadfultime!——Doyouknowwhysheleftme?Simplytoprovetomewhatisnottrue——thatsheisbase。Buttheworstofitis,shedidnotrealizeherselfthatthatwasallshewantedtoprovebyherdeparture!Shewentawayinresponsetosomeinnerpromptingtodosomethingdisgraceful,inorderthatshemightsaytoherself——’There——you’vedoneanewactofshame——youdegradedcreature!’
\"Oh,Aglaya——perhapsyoucannotunderstandallthis。Trytorealizethatintheperpetualadmissionofguiltsheprobablyfindssomedreadfulunnaturalsatisfaction——asthoughshewererevengingherselfuponsomeone。
\"NowandthenIwasabletopersuadeheralmosttoseelightaroundheragain;butshewouldsoonfall,oncemore,intoheroldtormentingdelusions,andwouldgosofarastoreproachmeforplacingmyselfonapedestalaboveherIneverhadanideaofsuchathing!,andinformedme,inreplytomyproposalofmarriage,thatshe’didnotwantcondescendingsympathyorhelpfromanybody。’Yousawherlastnight。Youdon’tsupposeshecanbehappyamongsuchpeopleasthose——youcannotsupposethatsuchsocietyisfitforher?Youhavenoideahowwell-educatedsheis,andwhatanintellectshehas!Sheastonishedmesometimes。\"
\"Andyoupreachedhersermonsthere,didyou?\"
\"Ohno,\"continuedtheprincethoughtfully,notnoticingAglaya’smockingtone,\"Iwasalmostalwayssilentthere。Ioftenwishedtospeak,butIreallydidnotknowwhattosay。Insomecasesitisbesttosaynothing,Ithink。Ilovedher,yes,Ilovedherverymuchindeed;butafterwards——afterwardssheguessedall。\"
\"Whatdidsheguess?\"
\"ThatIonlyPITIEDher——and——andlovedhernolonger!\"
\"Howdoyouknowthat?Howdoyouknowthatsheisnotreallyinlovewiththat——thatrichcad——themansheelopedwith?\"
\"Ohno!Iknowsheonlylaughsathim;shehasmadeafoolofhimallalong。\"
\"Hassheneverlaughedatyou?\"
\"No——inanger,perhaps。Ohyes!shereproachedmedreadfullyinanger;andsufferedherself,too!Butafterwards——oh!don’tremindme——don’tremindmeofthat!\"
Hehidhisfaceinhishands。
\"Areyouawarethatshewritestomealmosteveryday?\"
\"Sothatistrue,isit?\"criedtheprince,greatlyagitated。
\"Ihadheardareportofit,butwouldnotbelieveit。\"
\"Whomdidyouhearitfrom?\"askedAglaya,alarmed。\"Rogojinsaidsomethingaboutityesterday,butnothingdefinite。\"
\"Yesterday!Morningorevening?Beforethemusicorafter?\"
\"After——itwasabouttwelveo’clock。\"
\"Ah!Well,ifitwasRogojin——butdoyouknowwhatshewritestomeabout?\"
\"Ishouldnotbesurprisedbyanything。Sheismad!\"
\"Therearetheletters。\"Aglayatookthreelettersoutofherpocketandthrewthemdownbeforetheprince。\"Forawholeweekshehasbeenentreatingandworryingandpersuadingmetomarryyou。She——well,sheisclever,thoughshemaybemad——muchclevererthanIam,asyousay。Well,shewritesthatsheisinlovewithmeherself,andtriestoseemeeveryday,ifonlyfromadistance。Shewritesthatyouloveme,andthatshehaslongknownitandseenit,andthatyouandshetalkedaboutme——
there。Shewishestoseeyouhappy,andshesaysthatsheiscertainonlyIcanensureyouthehappinessyoudeserve。Shewritessuchstrange,wildletters——Ihaven’tshownthemtoanyone。Now,doyouknowwhatallthismeans?Canyouguessanything?\"
\"Itismadness——itismerelyanotherproofofherinsanity!\"saidtheprince,andhislipstrembled。
\"Youarecrying,aren’tyou?\"
\"No,Aglaya。No,I’mnotcrying。\"Theprincelookedather。
\"Well,whatamItodo?Whatdoyouadviseme?Icannotgoonreceivingtheseletters,youknow。\"
\"Oh,letheralone,Ientreatyou!\"criedtheprince。Whatcanyoudointhisdark,gloomymystery?Letheralone,andI’lluseallmypowertopreventherwritingyouanymoreletters。\"
\"Ifso,youareaheartlessman!\"criedAglaya。Asifyoucan’tseethatitisnotmyselfsheloves,butyou,you,andonlyyou!
Surelyyouhavenotremarkedeverythingelseinher,andonlynotTHIS?Doyouknowwhattheselettersmean?Theymeanjealousy,sir——nothingbutpurejealousy!She——doyouthinkshewilleverreallymarrythisRogojin,asshesayshereshewill?ShewouldtakeherownlifethedayafteryouandIweremarried。\"
Theprinceshuddered;hisheartseemedtofreezewithinhim。HegazedatAglayainwonderment;itwasdifficultforhimtorealizethatthischildwasalsoawoman。
\"Godknows,Aglaya,thattorestoreherpeaceofmindandmakeherhappyIwouldwillinglygiveupmylife。ButIcannotloveher,andsheknowsthat。\"
\"Oh,makeasacrificeofyourself!Thatsortofthingbecomesyouwell,youknow。Whynotdoit?Anddon’tcallme’Aglaya’;youhavedoneitseveraltimeslately。Youarebound,itisyourDUTY
to’raise’her;youmustgooffsomewhereagaintosootheandpacifyher。Why,youloveher,youknow!\"
\"Icannotsacrificemyselfso,thoughIadmitIdidwishtodosoonce。Whoknows,perhapsIstillwishto!ButIknowforCERTAIN,thatifshemarriedmeitwouldbeherruin;IknowthisandthereforeIleaveheralone。Ioughttogotoseehertoday;nowIshallprobablynotgo。Sheisproud,shewouldneverforgivemethenatureoftheloveIbearher,andweshouldbothberuined。
Thismaybeunnatural,Idon’tknow;buteverythingseemsunnatural。Yousayshelovesme,asifthiswereLOVE!AsifshecouldloveME,afterwhatIhavebeenthrough!No,no,itisnotlove。\"
\"Howpaleyouhavegrown!\"criedAglayainalarm。
Oh,it’snothing。Ihaven’tslept,that’sall,andI’mrathertired。I——wecertainlydidtalkaboutyou,Aglaya。\"
\"Oh,indeed,itistruethen!YOUCOULDACTUALLYTALKABOUTME
WITHHER;and——andhowcouldyouhavebeenfondofmewhenyouhadonlyseenmeonce?\"
\"Idon’tknow。PerhapsitwasthatIseemedtocomeuponlightinthemidstofmygloom。ItoldyouthetruthwhenIsaidIdidnotknowwhyIthoughtofyoubeforeallothers。Ofcourseitwasallasortofdream,adreamamidstthehorrorsofreality。
AfterwardsIbegantowork。Ididnotintendtocomebackherefortwoorthreeyears——\"
\"Thenyoucameforhersake?\"Aglaya’svoicetrembled。
\"Yes,Icameforhersake。\"
Therewasamomentortwoofgloomysilence。Aglayarosefromherseat。
\"Ifyousay,\"shebeganinshakytones,\"ifyousaythatthiswomanofyoursismad——atalleventsIhavenothingtodowithherinsanefancies。Kindlytakethesethreeletters,LefNicolaievitch,andthrowthembacktoher,fromme。Andifshedares,\"criedAglayasuddenly,muchlouderthanbefore,\"ifshedaressomuchaswritemeonewordagain,tellherIshalltellmyfather,andthatsheshallbetakentoalunaticasylum。\"
TheprincejumpedupinalarmatAglaya’ssuddenwrath,andamistseemedtocomebeforehiseyes。
\"Youcannotreallyfeellikethat!Youdon’tmeanwhatyousay。
Itisnottrue,\"hemurmured。
\"ItIStrue,itIStrue,\"criedAglaya,almostbesideherselfwithrage。
\"What’strue?What’sallthis?What’strue?\"saidanalarmedvoicejustbesidethem。
BeforethemstoodLizabethaProkofievna。
\"Why,it’struethatIamgoingtomarryGavrilaArdalionovitch,thatIlovehimandintendtoelopewithhimtomorrow,\"criedAglaya,turninguponhermother。\"Doyouhear?Isyourcuriositysatisfied?Areyoupleasedwithwhatyouhaveheard?\"
Aglayarushedawayhomewardswiththesewords。
\"H’m!well,YOUarenotgoingawayjustyet,myfriend,atallevents,\"saidLizabetha,stoppingtheprince。\"Kindlystephomewithme,andletmehavealittleexplanationofthemystery。
Nicegoingson,these!Ihaven’tsleptawinkallnightasitis。\"
Theprincefollowedher。
IX。
ARRIVEDatherhouse,LizabethaProkofievnapausedinthefirstroom。Shecouldgonofarther,andsubsidedontoacouchquiteexhausted;toofeebletoremembersomuchastoasktheprincetotakeaseat。Thiswasalargereception-room,fullofflowers,andwithaglassdoorleadingintothegarden。
AlexandraandAdelaidacameinalmostimmediately,andlookedinquiringlyattheprinceandtheirmother。
Thegirlsgenerallyroseataboutnineinthemorninginthecountry;Aglaya,oflate,hadbeeninthehabitofgettingupratherearlierandhavingawalkinthegarden,butnotatseveno’clock;abouteightoralittlelaterwasherusualtime。
LizabethaProkofievna,whoreallyhadnotsleptallnight,roseatabouteightonpurposetomeetAglayainthegardenandwalkwithher;butshecouldnotfindhereitherinthegardenorinherownroom。
Thisagitatedtheoldladyconsiderably;andsheawokeherotherdaughters。Next,shelearnedfromthemaidthatAglayahadgoneintotheparkbeforeseveno’clock。ThesistersmadeajokeofAglaya’slastfreak,andtoldtheirmotherthatifshewentintotheparktolookforher,Aglayawouldprobablybeveryangrywithher,andthatshewasprettysuretobesittingreadingonthegreenbenchthatshehadtalkedoftwoorthreedayssince,andaboutwhichshehadnearlyquarrelledwithPrinceS。,whodidnotseeanythingparticularlylovelyinit。
Arrivedattherendezvousoftheprinceandherdaughter,andhearingthestrangewordsofthelatter,LizabethaProkofievnahadbeendreadfullyalarmed,formanyreasons。However,nowthatshehaddraggedtheprincehomewithher,shebegantofeelalittlefrightenedatwhatshehadundertaken。WhyshouldnotAglayameettheprinceintheparkandhaveatalkwithhim,evenifsuchameetingshouldbebyappointment?
\"Don’tsuppose,prince,\"shebegan,bracingherselfupfortheeffort,\"don’tsupposethatIhavebroughtyouheretoaskquestions。Afterlastnight,Iassureyou,Iamnotsoexceedinglyanxioustoseeyouatall;Icouldhavepostponedthepleasureforalongwhile。\"Shepaused。
\"ButatthesametimeyouwouldbeverygladtoknowhowI
happenedtomeetAglayaIvanovnathismorning?\"Theprincefinishedherspeechforherwiththeutmostcomposure。
\"Well,whatthen?SupposingIshouldliketoknow?\"criedLizabethaProkofievna,blushing。\"I’msureIamnotafraidofplainspeaking。I’mnotoffendinganyone,andIneverwishto,and——\"
\"Pardonme,itisnooffencetowishtoknowthis;youarehermother。Wemetatthegreenbenchthismorning,punctuallyatseveno’clock,——accordingtoanagreementmadebyAglayaIvanovnawithmyselfyesterday。Shesaidthatshewishedtoseemeandspeaktomeaboutsomethingimportant。WemetandconversedforanhouraboutmattersconcerningAglayaIvanovnaherself,andthat’sall。\"
\"Ofcourseitisall,myfriend。Idon’tdoubtyouforamoment,\"
saidLizabethaProkofievnawithdignity。
\"Welldone,prince,capital!\"criedAglaya,whoenteredtheroomatthismoment。\"ThankyouforassumingthatIwouldnotdemeanmyselfwithlies。Come,isthatenough,mamma,ordoyouintendtoputanymorequestions?\"
\"YouknowIhaveneverneededtoblushbeforeyou,uptothisday,thoughperhapsyouwouldhavebeengladenoughtomakeme,\"
saidLizabethaProkofievna,——withmajesty。\"Good-bye,prince;
forgivemeforbotheringyou。Itrustyouwillrestassuredofmyunalterableesteemforyou。\"
Theprincemadehisbowsandretiredatonce。AlexandraandAdelaidasmiledandwhisperedtoeachother,whileLizabethaProkofievnaglaredseverelyatthem。\"Weareonlylaughingattheprince’sbeautifulbows,mamma,\"saidAdelaida。\"Sometimeshebowsjustlikeameal-sack,butto-dayhewaslike——likeEvgeniePavlovitch!\"
\"ItistheHEARTwhichisthebestteacherofrefinementanddignity,notthedancing-master,\"saidhermother,sententiously,anddepartedupstairstoherownroom,notsomuchasglancingatAglaya。
Whentheprincereachedhome,aboutnineo’clock,hefoundVeraLebedeffandthemaidontheverandah。Theywerebothbusytryingtotidyuptheplaceafterlastnight’sdisorderlyparty。
\"Thankgoodness,we’vejustmanagedtofinishitbeforeyoucamein!\"saidVera,joyfully。
\"Good-morning!Myheadwhirlsso;Ididn’tsleepallnight。I
shouldliketohaveanapnow。\"
\"Here,ontheverandah?Verywell,I’lltellthemallnottocomeandwakeyou。Papahasgoneoutsomewhere。\"
Theservantlefttheroom。Verawasabouttofollowher,butreturnedandapproachedtheprincewithapreoccupiedair。
\"Prince!\"shesaid,\"havepityonthatpoorboy;don’tturnhimouttoday。\"
\"Notfortheworld;heshalldojustashelikes。\"
\"Hewon’tdoanyharmnow;and——anddon’tbetooseverewithhim,\"
\"Ohdearno!Why——\"
\"And——andyouwon’tLAUGHathim?That’sthechiefthing。\"
\"Ohno!Never。\"
\"HowfoolishIamtospeakofsuchthingstoamanlikeyou,\"
saidVera,blushing。\"ThoughyouDOlooktired,\"sheadded,halfturningaway,\"youreyesaresosplendidatthismoment——sofullofhappiness。\"
\"Really?\"askedtheprince,gleefully,andhelaughedindelight。
ButVera,simple-mindedlittlegirlthatshewasjustlikeaboy,infact,herebecamedreadfullyconfused,ofasudden,andranhastilyoutoftheroom,laughingandblushing。
\"Whatadearlittlethingsheis,\"thoughttheprince,andimmediatelyforgotallabouther。
Hewalkedtothefarendoftheverandah,wherethesofastood,withatableinfrontofit。Herehesatdownandcoveredhisfacewithhishands,andsoremainedfortenminutes。Suddenlyheputhishandinhiscoat-pocketandhurriedlyproducedthreeletters。
Butthedooropenedagain,andoutcameColia。
Theprinceactuallyfeltgladthathehadbeeninterrupted,——andmightreturntheletterstohispocket。Hewasgladoftherespite。
\"Well,\"saidColia,plunginginmediasres,ashealwaysdid,\"here’sago!WhatdoyouthinkofHippolytenow?Don’trespecthimanylonger,eh?\"
\"Whynot?Butlookhere,Colia,I’mtired;besides,thesubjectistoomelancholytobeginuponagain。Howishe,though?\"
\"Asleep——he’llsleepforacoupleofhoursyet。Iquiteunderstand——youhaven’tslept——youwalkedaboutthepark,Iknow。
Agitation——excitement——allthatsortofthing——quitenatural,too!\"
\"HowdoyouknowIwalkedintheparkanddidn’tsleepathome?\"
\"Verajusttoldme。Shetriedtopersuademenottocome,butI
couldn’thelpmyself,justforoneminute。Ihavebeenhavingmyturnatthebedsideforthelasttwohours;KostiaLebedeffistherenow。Burdovskyhasgone。Now,liedown,prince,makeyourselfcomfortable,andsleepwell!I’mawfullyimpressed,youknow。\"
\"Naturally,allthis——\"
\"No,no,Imeanwiththe’explanation,’especiallythatpartofitwherehetalksaboutProvidenceandafuturelife。Thereisagiganticthoughtthere。\"