Thatwasamistakeoflargedimensions。TheOldMasterswerestillunpleasingtome，buttheyweretrulydivinecontrastedwiththecopies。Thecopyistotheoriginalasthepallid，smart，inanenewwax-workgroupistothevigorous，earnest，dignifiedgroupoflivingmenandwomenwhomitprofessestoduplicate。Thereisamellowrichness，asubduedcolor，intheoldpictures，whichistotheeyewhatmuffledandmellowedsoundistotheear。Thatisthemeritwhichismostloudlypraisedintheoldpicture，andistheonewhichthecopymostconspicuouslylacks，andwhichthecopyistmustnothopetocompass。ItwasgenerallyconcededbytheartistswithwhomItalked，thatthatsubduedsplendor，thatmellowrichness，isimpartedtothepicturebyAGE。
ThenwhyshouldweworshiptheOldMasterforit，whodidn\'timpartit，insteadofworshipingOldTime，whodid?Perhapsthepicturewasaclangingbell，untilTimemuffleditandsweetenedit。
InconversationwithanartistinVenice，Iasked:\"WhatisitthatpeopleseeintheOldMasters?IhavebeenintheDoge\'spalaceandIsawseveralacresofverybaddrawing，verybadperspective，andveryincorrectproportions。
PaulVeronese\'sdogstonotresembledogs；allthehorseslooklikebladdersonlegs；onemanhadaRIGHTlegontheleftsideofhisbody；inthelargepicturewheretheEmperorBarbarossa?isprostratebeforethePope，therearethreemenintheforegroundwhoareoverthirtyfeethigh，ifonemayjudgebythesizeofakneelinglittleboyinthecenteroftheforeground；
andaccordingtothesamescale，thePopeissevenfeethighandtheDogeisashriveleddwarfoffourfeet。\"
Theartistsaid:
\"Yes，theOldMastersoftendrewbadly；theydidnotcaremuchfortruthandexactnessinminordetails；
butafterall，inspiteofbaddrawing，badperspective，badproportions，andachoiceofsubjectswhichnolongerappealtopeopleasstronglyastheydidthreehundredyearsago，thereisaSOMETHINGabouttheirpictureswhichisdivine——asomethingwhichisaboveandbeyondtheartofanyepochsince——asomethingwhichwouldbethedespairofartistsbutthattheyneverhopeorexpecttoattainit，andthereforedonotworryaboutit。\"
Thatiswhathesaid——andhesaidwhathebelieved；
andnotonlybelieved，butfelt。
Reasoning——especiallyreasoning，withouttechnicalknowledge——mustbeputaside，incasesofthiskind。
Itcannotassisttheinquirer。Itwillleadhim，inthemostlogicalprogression，towhat，intheeyesofartists，wouldbeamostillogicalconclusion。
Thus:baddrawing，badproportion，badperspective，indifferencetotruthfuldetail，colorwhichgetsitsmeritfromtime，andnotfromtheartist——thesethingsconstitutetheOldMaster；conclusion，theOldMasterwasabadpainter，theOldMasterwasnotanOldMasteratall，butanOldApprentice。Yourfriendtheartistwillgrantyourpremises，butdenyyourconclusion；
hewillmaintainthatnotwithstandingthisformidablelistofconfesseddefects，thereisstillasomethingthatisdivineandunapproachableabouttheOldMaster，andthatthereisnoarguingthefactawaybyanysystemofreasoningwhatsoever。
Icanbelievethat。Therearewomenwhohaveanindefinablecharmintheirfaceswhichmakesthembeautifultotheirintimates，butacoldstrangerwhotriedtoreasonthematteroutandfindthisbeautywouldfail。Hewouldsaytooneofthesewomen:Thischinistooshort，thisnoseistoolong，thisforeheadistoohigh，thishairistoored，thiscomplexionistoopallid，theperspectiveoftheentirecompositionisincorrect；conclusion，thewomanisnotbeautiful。
Buthernearestfriendmightsay，andsaytruly，\"Yourpremisesareright，yourlogicisfaultless，butyourconclusioniswrong，nevertheless；sheisanOldMaster——sheisbeautiful，butonlytosuchasknowher；
itisabeautywhichcannotbeformulated，butitisthere，justthesame。\"
IfoundmorepleasureincontemplatingtheOldMastersthistimethanIdidwhenIwasinEuropeinformeryears，butstillitwasacalmpleasure；therewasnothingoverheatedaboutit。WhenIwasinVenicebefore，IthinkIfoundnopicturewhichstirredmemuch，butthistimethereweretwowhichenticedmetotheDoge\'spalacedayafterday，andkeptmetherehoursatatime。
OneofthesewasTintoretto\'sthree-acrepictureintheGreatCouncilChamber。WhenIsawittwelveyearsagoI
wasnotstronglyattractedtoit——theguidetoldmeitwasaninsurrectioninheaven——butthiswasanerror。
Themovementofthisgreatworkisveryfine。Therearetenthousandfigures，andtheyarealldoingsomething。
Thereisawonderful\"go\"tothewholecomposition。
Someofthefiguresaredrivingheadlongdownward，withclaspedhands，othersareswimmingthroughthecloud-shoals——someontheirfaces，someontheirbacks——greatprocessionsofbishops，martyrs，andangelsarepouringswiftlycenterwardfromvariousoutlyingdirections——everywhereisenthusiasticjoy，thereisrushingmovementeverywhere。
Therearefifteenortwentyfiguresscatteredhereandthere，withbooks，buttheycannotkeeptheirattentionontheirreading——theyofferthebookstoothers，butnoonewishestoread，now。TheLionofSt。Markistherewithhisbook；St。Markistherewithhispenuplifted；
heandtheLionarelookingeachotherearnestlyintheface，disputingaboutthewaytospellaword——theLionlooksupinraptadmirationwhileSt。Markspells。
Thisiswonderfullyinterpretedbytheartist。
Itisthemaster-strokeofthisimcomparablepainting。
[Figure10]
Ivisitedtheplacedaily，andnevergrewtiredoflookingatthatgrandpicture。AsIhaveintimated，themovementisalmostunimaginablevigorous；thefiguresaresinging，hosannahing，andmanyareblowingtrumpets。
Sovividlyisnoisesuggested，thatspectatorswhobecomeabsorbedinthepicturealmostalwaysfalltoshoutingcommentsineachother\'sears，makingear-trumpetsoftheircurvedhands，fearingtheymaynototherwisebeheard。
Oneoftenseesatourist，withtheeloquenttearspouringdownhischeeks，funnelhishandsathiswife\'sear，andhearshimroarthroughthem，\"OH，TOBETHEREAND
ATREST!\"
Nonebutthesupremelygreatinartcanproduceeffectslikethesewiththesilentbrush。
TwelveyearsagoIcouldnothaveappreciatedthispicture。
OneyearagoIcouldnothaveappreciatedit。MystudyofArtinHeidelberghasbeenanobleeducationtome。
AllthatIamtodayinArt，Iowetothat。
TheothergreatworkwhichfascinatedmewasBassano\'simmortalHairTrunk。ThisisintheChamberoftheCouncilofTen。Itisinoneofthethreeforty-footpictureswhichdecoratethewallsoftheroom。Thecompositionofthispictureisbeyondpraise。TheHairTrunkisnothurledatthestranger\'shead——sotospeak——asthechieffeatureofanimmortalworksooftenis；no，itiscarefullyguardedfromprominence，itissubordinated，itisrestrained，itismostdeftlyandcleverlyheldinreserve，itismostcautiouslyandingeniouslyledupto，bythemaster，andconsequentlywhenthespectatorreachesitatlast，heistakenunawares，heisunprepared，anditburstsuponhimwithastupefyingsurprise。
Oneislostinwonderatallthethoughtandcarewhichthiselaborateplanningmusthavecost。Ageneralglanceatthepicturecouldneversuggestthattherewasahairtrunkinit；theHairTrunkisnotmentionedinthetitleeven——whichis，\"PopeAlexanderIII。andtheDogeZiani，theConqueroroftheEmperorFrederickBarbarossa\"；
yousee，thetitleisactuallyutilizedtohelpdivertattentionfromtheTrunk；thus，asIsay，nothingsuggeststhepresenceoftheTrunk，byanyhint，yeteverythingstudiedlyleadsuptoit，stepbystep。
Letusexamineintothis，andobservetheexquisitelyartfulartlessnessoftheplan。
Attheextremeleftendofthepictureareacoupleofwomen，oneofthemwithachildlookingoverhershoulderatawoundedmansittingwithbandagedheadontheground。
Thesepeopleseemneedless，butno，theyarethereforapurpose；onecannotlookatthemwithoutseeingthegorgeousprocessionofgrandees，bishops，halberdiers，andbanner-bearerswhichispassingalongbehindthem；
onecannotseetheprocessionwithoutfeelingthecuriositytofollowitandlearnwhitheritisgoing；itleadshimtothePope，inthecenterofthepicture，whoistalkingwiththebonnetlessDoge——talkingtranquilly，too，althoughwithintwelvefeetofthemamanisbeatingadrum，andnotfarfromthedrummertwopersonsareblowinghorns，andmanyhorsemenareplungingandriotingabout——indeed，twenty-twofeetofthisgreatworkisalladeepandhappyholidayserenityandSunday-schoolprocession，andthenwecomesuddenlyuponelevenandone-halffeetofturmoilandracketandinsubordination。Thislatterstateofthingsisnotanaccident，ithasitspurpose。
Butforit，onewouldlingeruponthePopeandtheDoge，thinkingthemtobethemotiveandsupremefeatureofthepicture；whereasoneisdrawnalong，almostunconsciously，toseewhatthetroubleisabout。NowattheveryEND
ofthisriot，withinfourfeetoftheendofthepicture，andfullthirty-sixfeetfromthebeginningofit，theHairTrunkburstswithanelectrifyingsuddennessuponthespectator，inallitsmatchlessperfection，andthegreatmaster\'striumphissweepingandcomplete。
Fromthatmomentnootherthinginthosefortyfeetofcanvashasanycharm；oneseestheHairTrunk，andtheHairTrunkonly——andtoseeitistoworshipit。BassanoevenplacedobjectsintheimmediatevicinityoftheSupremeFeaturewhosepretendedpurposewastodivertattentionfromityetalittlelongerandthusdelayandaugmentthesurprise；
forinstance，totherightofithehasplacedastoopingmanwithacapsoredthatitissuretoholdtheeyeforamoment——totheleftofit，somesixfeetaway，hehasplacedared-coatedmanonaninflatedhorse，andthatcoatplucksyoureyetothatlocalitythenextmoment——then，betweentheTrunkandtheredhorsemanhehasintrudedaman，nakedtohiswaist，whoiscarryingafancyflour-sackonthemiddleofhisbackinsteadofonhisshoulder——thisadmirablefeatinterestsyou，ofcourse——keepsyouatbayalittlelonger，likeasockorajacketthrowntothepursuingwolf——butatlast，inspiteofalldistractionsanddetentions，theeyeofeventhemostdullandheedlessspectatorissuretofallupontheWorld\'sMasterpiece，andinthatmomenthetotterstohischairorleansuponhisguideforsupport。
Descriptionsofsuchaworkasthismustnecessarilybeimperfect，yettheyareofvalue。ThetopoftheTrunkisarched；thearchisaperfecthalf-circle，intheRomanstyleofarchitecture，forinthethenrapiddecadenceofGreekart，therisinginfluenceofRomewasalreadybeginningtobefeltintheartoftheRepublic。
TheTrunkisboundorborderedwithleatherallaroundwherethelidjoinsthemainbody。Manycriticsconsiderthisleathertoocoldintone；butIconsiderthisitshighestmerit，sinceitwasevidentlymadesotoemphasizebycontrasttheimpassionedfervorofthehasp。
Thehighlightsinthispartoftheworkarecleverlymanaged，theMOTIFisadmirablysubordinatedtothegroundtints，andthetechniqueisveryfine。Thebrassnail-headsareinthepureststyleoftheearlyRenaissance。
Thestrokes，here，areveryfirmandbold——everynail-headisaportrait。ThehandleontheendoftheTrunkhasevidentlybeenretouched——Ithink，withapieceofchalk——
butonecanstillseetheinspirationoftheOldMasterinthetranquil，almosttootranquil，hangofit。ThehairofthisTrunkisREALhair——sotospeak——whiteinpatched，browninpatches。Thedetailsarefinelyworkedout；
thereposepropertohairinarecumbentandinactiveattitudeischarminglyexpressed。Thereisafeelingaboutthispartoftheworkwhichliftsittothehighestaltitudesofart；thesenseofsordidrealismvanishesaway——onerecognizesthatthereisSOULhere。
ViewthisTrunkasyouwill，itisagem，itisamarvel，itisamiracle。Someoftheeffectsareverydaring，approachingeventotheboldestflightsoftherococo，thesirocco，andtheByzantineschools——yetthemaster\'shandneverfalters——itmoveson，calm，majestic，confident——and，withthatartwhichconcealsart，itfinallycastsovertheTOUTENSEMBLE，bymysteriousmethodsofitsown，asubtlesomethingwhichrefines，subdues，etherealizesthearidcomponentsandenduresthemwiththedeepcharmandgraciouswitcheryofpoesy。
Amongtheart-treasuresofEuropetherearepictureswhichapproachtheHairTrunk——therearetwowhichmaybesaidtoequalit，possibly——butthereisnonethatsurpassesit。SoperfectistheHairTrunkthatitmovesevenpersonswhoordinarilyhavenofeelingforart。
WhenanEriebaggagemastersawittwoyearsago，hecouldhardlykeepfromcheckingit；andoncewhenacustomsinspectorwasbroughtintoitspresence，hegazeduponitinsilentraptureforsomemoments，thenslowlyandunconsciouslyplacedonehandbehindhimwiththepalmuppermost，andgotouthischalkwiththeother。
Thesefactsspeakforthemselves。
CHAPTERXLIX
[HangedwithaGoldenRope]
OnelingersabouttheCathedralagooddeal，inVenice。
Thereisastrongfascinationaboutit——partlybecauseitissoold，andpartlybecauseitissougly。
Toomanyoftheworld\'sfamousbuildingsfailofonechiefvirtue——harmony；theyaremadeupofamethodlessmixtureoftheuglyandthebeautiful；thisisbad；
itisconfusing，itisunrestful。Onehasasenseofuneasiness，ofdistress，withoutknowingwhy。ButoneiscalmbeforeSt。Mark\'s，oneiscalminthecellar；
foritsdetailsaremasterfullyugly，nomisplacedandimpertinentbeautiesareintrudedanywhere；andtheconsequentresultisagrandharmoniouswhole，ofsoothing，entrancing，tranquilizing，soul-satisfyingugliness。
One\'sadmirationofaperfectthingalwaysgrows，neverdeclines；andthisisthesurestevidencetohimthatitISperfect。St。Mark\'sisperfect。Tomeitsoongrewtobesonobly，soaugustlyugly，thatitwasdifficulttostayawayfromit，evenforalittlewhile。
Everytimeitssquatdomesdisappearedfrommyview，Ihadadespondentfeeling；whenevertheyreappeared，Ifeltanhonestrapture——IhavenotknownanyhappierhoursthanthoseIdailyspentinfrontofFlorian\'s，lookingacrosstheGreatSquareatit。Proppedonitslongrowoflowthick-leggedcolumns，itsbackknobbedwithdomes，itseemedlikeavastwartybugtakingameditativewalk。
St。Mark\'sisnottheoldestbuildingintheworld，ofcourse，butitseemstheoldest，andlookstheoldest——especiallyinside。
Whentheancientmosaicsinitswallsbecomedamaged，theyarerepairedbutnotaltered；thegrotesqueoldpatternispreserved。Antiquityhasacharmofitsown，andtosmartenitupwouldonlydamageit。OnedayI
wassittingonaredmarblebenchinthevestibulelookingupatanancientpieceofapprentice-work，inmosaic，illustrativeofthecommandto\"multiplyandreplenishtheearth。\"TheCathedralitselfhadseemedveryold；
butthispicturewasillustratingaperiodinhistorywhichmadethebuildingseemyoungbycomparison。
ButIpresentlyfoundanantiquewhichwasolderthaneitherthebatteredCathedralorthedateassignedtothepieceofhistory；itwasaspiral-shapedfossilaslargeasthecrownofahat；itwasembeddedinthemarblebench，andhadbeensatuponbytouristsuntilitwaswornsmooth。
Contrastedwiththeinconceivableantiquityofthismodestfossil，thoseotherthingswereflippantlymodern——jejune——meremattersofday-before-yesterday。
ThesenseoftheoldnessoftheCathedralvanishedawayundertheinfluenceofthistrulyvenerablepresence。
St。Mark\'sismonumental；itisanimperishableremembranceroftheprofoundandsimplypietyoftheMiddleAges。
Whoevercouldravishacolumnfromapagantemple，diditandcontributedhisswagtothisChristianone。
Sothisfaneisupheldbyseveralhundredacquisitionsprocuredinthatpeculiarway。Inourdayitwouldbeimmoraltogoonthehighwaytogetbricksforachurch，butitwasnosinintheoldtimes。St。Mark\'swasitselfthevictimofacuriousrobberyonce。ThethingissetdowninthehistoryofVenice，butitmightbesmuggledintotheArabianNightsandnotseemoutofplacethere:
Nearlyfourhundredandfiftyyearsago，aCandiannamedStammato，inthesuiteofaprinceofthehouseofEste，wasallowedtoviewtherichesofSt。Mark\'s。
Hissinfuleyewasdazzledandhehidhimselfbehindanaltar，withanevilpurposeinhisheart，butapriestdiscoveredhimandturnedhimout。Afterwardhegotinagain——byfalsekeys，thistime。Hewentthere，nightafternight，andworkedhardandpatiently，allalone，overcomingdifficultyafterdifficultywithhistoil，andatlastsucceededinremovingagreatbrickofthemarblepanelingwhichwalledthelowerpartofthetreasury；
thisblockhefixedsothathecouldtakeitoutandputitinatwill。Afterthat，forweeks，hespentallhismidnightsinhismagnificentmine，inspectingitinsecurity，gloatingoveritsmarvelsathisleisure，andalwaysslippingbacktohisobscurelodgingsbeforedawn，withaduke\'sransomunderhiscloak。Hedidnotneedtograb，haphazard，andrun——therewasnohurry。
Hecouldmakedeliberateandwell-consideredselections；
hecouldconsulthisesthetictastes。Onecomprehendshowundisturbedhewas，andhowsafefromanydangerofinterruption，whenitisstatedthatheevencarriedoffaunicorn\'shorn——amerecuriosity——whichwouldnotpassthroughtheegressentire，buthadtobesawnintwo——
abitofworkwhichcosthimhoursoftediouslabor。
Hecontinuedtostoreuphistreasuresathomeuntilhisoccupationlostthecharmofnoveltyandbecamemonotonous；
thenheceasedfromit，contented。Wellhemightbe；
forhiscollection，raisedtomodernvalues，representednearlyfiftymilliondollars!
Hecouldhavegonehomemuchtherichestcitizenofhiscountry，anditmighthavebeenyearsbeforetheplunderwasmissed；
buthewashuman——hecouldnotenjoyhisdelightalone，hemusthavesomebodytotalkaboutitwith。SoheexactedasolemnoathfromaCandiannoblenamedCrioni，thenledhimtohislodgingsandnearlytookhisbreathawaywithasightofhisglitteringhoard。Hedetectedalookinhisfriend\'sfacewhichexcitedhissuspicion，andwasabouttoslipastilettointohimwhenCrionisavedhimselfbyexplainingthatthatlookwasonlyanexpressionofsupremeandhappyastonishment。
StammatomadeCrioniapresentofoneofthestate\'sprincipaljewels——ahugecarbuncle，whichafterwardfiguredintheDucalcapofstate——andthepairparted。
Crioniwentatoncetothepalace，denouncedthecriminal，andhandedoverthecarbuncleasevidence。
Stammatowasarrested，tried，andcondemned，withtheold-timeVenetianpromptness。HewashangedbetweenthetwogreatcolumnsinthePiazza——withagildedrope，outofcomplimenttohisloveofgold，perhaps。Hegotnogoodofhisbootyatall——itwasALLrecovered。
InVenicewehadaluxurywhichveryseldomfelltoourlotonthecontinent——ahomedinnerwithaprivatefamily。
Ifonecouldalwaysstopwithprivatefamilies，whentraveling，Europewouldhaveacharmwhichitnowlacks。Asitis，onemustliveinthehotels，ofcourse，andthatisasorrowfulbusiness。
AmanaccustomedtoAmericanfoodandAmericandomesticcookerywouldnotstarvetodeathsuddenlyinEurope；
butIthinkhewouldgraduallywasteaway，andeventuallydie。
Hewouldhavetodowithouthisaccustomedmorningmeal。
Thatistooformidableachangealtogether；hewouldnecessarilysufferfromit。Hecouldgettheshadow，thesham，thebasecounterfeitofthatmeal；butitwoulddohimnogood，andmoneycouldnotbuythereality。
Toparticularize:theaverageAmerican\'ssimplestandcommonestformofbreakfastconsistsofcoffeeandbeefsteak；
well，inEurope，coffeeisanunknownbeverage。YoucangetwhattheEuropeanhotel-keeperthinksiscoffee，butitresemblestherealthingashypocrisyresemblesholiness。
Itisafeeble，characterless，uninspiringsortofstuff，andalmostasundrinkableasifithadbeenmadeinanAmericanhotel。ThemilkusedforitiswhattheFrenchcall\"Christian\"milk——milkwhichhasbeenbaptized。
Afterafewmonths\'acquaintancewithEuropean\"coffee，\"
one\'smindweakens，andhisfaithwithit，andhebeginstowonderiftherichbeverageofhome，withitsclottedlayerofyellowcreamontopofit，isnotameredream，afterall，andathingwhichneverexisted。
NextcomestheEuropeanbread——fairenough，goodenough，afterafashion，butcold；coldandtough，andunsympathetic；
andneveranychange，neveranyvariety——alwaysthesametiresomething。
Next，thebutter——theshamandtastelessbutter；nosaltinit，andmadeofgoodnessknowswhat。
Thenthereisthebeefsteak。TheyhaveitinEurope，buttheydon\'tknowhowtocookit。Neitherwilltheycutitright。
Itcomesonthetableinasmall，roundpewterplatter。
Itliesinthecenterofthisplatter，inaborderingbedofgrease-soakedpotatoes；itisthesize，shape，andthicknessofaman\'shandwiththethumbandfingerscutoff。Itisalittleoverdone，isratherdry，ittastesprettyinsipidly，itrousesnoenthusiasm。
Imagineapoorexilecontemplatingthatinertthing；
andimagineanangelsuddenlysweepingdownoutofabetterlandandsettingbeforehimamightyporterhousesteakaninchandahalfthick，hotandsputteringfromthegriddle；
dustedwithafragrantpepper；enrichedwithlittlemeltingbitsofbutterofthemostunimpeachablefreshnessandgenuineness；thepreciousjuicesofthemeattricklingoutandjoiningthegravy，archipelagoedwithmushrooms；
atownshiportwooftender，yellowishfatgracinganoutlyingdistrictofthisamplecountyofbeefsteak；
thelongwhitebonewhichdividesthesirloinfromthetenderloinstillinitsplace；andimaginethattheangelalsoaddsagreatcupofAmericanhome-madecoffee，withacreama-frothontop，somerealbutter，firmandyellowandfresh，somesmokinghot-biscuits，aplateofhotbuckwheatcakes，withtransparentsyrup——couldwordsdescribethegratitudeofthisexile?
TheEuropeandinnerisbetterthantheEuropeanbreakfast，butithasitsfaultsandinferiorities；itdoesnotsatisfy。
Hecomestothetableeagerandhungry；heswallowshissoup——thereisanundefinablelackaboutitsomewhere；
thinksthefishisgoingtobethethinghewants——
eatsitandisn\'tsure；thinksthenextdishisperhapstheonethatwillhitthehungryplace——triesit，andisconsciousthattherewasasomethingwantingaboutit，also。Andthushegoeson，fromdishtodish，likeaboyafterabutterflywhichjustmissesgettingcaughteverytimeitalights，butsomehowdoesn\'tgetcaughtafterall；andattheendtheexileandtheboyhavefaredaboutalike；theoneisfull，butgrievouslyunsatisfied，theotherhashadplentyofexercise，plentyofinterest，andafinelotofhopes，buthehasn\'tgotanybutterfly。
ThereishereandthereanAmericanwhowillsayhecanrememberrisingfromaEuropeantabled\'ho^teperfectlysatisfied；
butwemustnotoverlookthefactthatthereisalsohereandthereanAmericanwhowilllie。
Thenumberofdishesissufficient；butthenitissuchamonotonousvarietyofUNSTRIKINGdishes。Itisaninanedead-levelof\"fair-to-middling。\"ThereisnothingtoACCENTit。Perhapsiftheroastofmuttonorofbeef——abig，generousone——werebroughtonthetableandcarvedinfullviewoftheclient，thatmightgivetherightsenseofearnestnessandrealitytothething；buttheydon\'tdothat，theypasstheslicedmeataroundonadish，andsoyouareperfectlycalm，itdoesnotstiryouintheleast。
Nowavastroastturkey，stretchedonthebroadofhisback，withhisheelsintheairandtherichjuicesoozingfromhisfatsides……butImayaswellstopthere，fortheywouldnotknowhowtocookhim。Theycan\'tevencookachickenrespectably；andasforcarvingit，theydothatwithahatchet。
Thisisaboutthecustomarytabled\'ho^tebillinsummer:
Soupcharacterless。
Fish——sole，salmon，orwhiting——usuallytolerablygood。
Roast——muttonorbeef——tasteless——andsomelastyear\'spotatoes。
Apa^te，orsomeothermadedish——usuallygood——\"considering。\"
Onevegetable——broughtoninstate，andallalone——usuallyinsipidlentils，orstring-beans，orindifferentasparagus。
Roastchicken，astastelessaspaper。
Lettuce-salad——tolerablygood。
Decayedstrawberriesorcherries。
Sometimestheapricotsandfigsarefresh，butthisisnoadvantage，asthesefruitsareofnoaccountanyway。
Thegrapesaregenerallygood，andsometimesthereisatolerablygoodpeach，bymistake。
Thevariationsoftheabovebillaretrifling。Afterafortnightonediscoversthatthevariationsareonlyapparent，notreal；inthethirdweekyougetwhatyouhadthefirst，andinthefourththeweekyougetwhatyouhadthesecond。
Threeorfourmonthsofthiswearysamenesswillkilltherobustestappetite。
Ithasnowbeenmanymonths，atthepresentwriting，sinceIhavehadanourishingmeal，butIshallsoonhaveone——amodest，privateaffair，alltomyself。
Ihaveselectedafewdishes，andmadeoutalittlebilloffare，whichwillgohomeinthesteamerthatprecedesme，andbehotwhenIarrive——asfollows:
Radishes。Bakedapples，withBrook-trout，fromSierracream。Nevadas。Friedoysters；stewedoysters。
Lake-trout，fromTahoe。Frogs。SheepsheadandcroakersfromAmericancoffee，withrealcream。NewOrleans。
Americanbutter。Black-bassfromtheMississippi。
Friedchicken，Southernstyle。Americanroastbeef。
Porterhousesteak。Roastturkey，ThanksgivingSaratogapotatoes。style。Broiledchicken，Americanstyle。
Cranberrysauce。Celery。Hotbiscuits，Southernstyle。
Roastwildturkey。Woodcock。Hotwheat-bread，SouthernCanvasback-duck，fromstyle。Baltimore。Hotbuckwheatcakes。
Prairie-hens，fromIllinois。Americantoast。ClearmapleMissouripartridges，broiled。syrup。Possum。Coon。
Virginiabacon，broiled。Bostonbaconandbeans。
Bluepoints，onthehalfshell。Baconandgreens，Southernstyle。Cherry-stoneclams。Hominy。Boiledonions。
SanFranciscomussels，steamed。Turnips。Oystersoup。
Clamsoup。Pumpkin。Squash。Asparagus。PhiladelphiaTerrapinsoup。Butter-beans。Sweet-potatoes。Oystersroastedinshell——Lettuce。Succotash。Northernstyle。
String-beans。Soft-shellcrabs。ConnecticutMashedpotatoes。
Catsup。shad。Boiledpotatoes，intheirskins。
Baltimoreperch。Newpotatoes，minustheskins。
EarlyRosepotatoes，roastedinHotegg-bread，Southernstyle。
theashes，Southernstyle，Hotlight-bread，Southernstyle。
servedhot。Buttermilk。Icedsweetmilk。Slicedtomatoes，withsugarorAppledumplings，withrealvinegar。
Stewedtomatoes。cream。Greencorn，cutfromtheearandApplepie。Applefritters。servedwithbutterandpepper。
Applepuffs，Southernstyle。Greencorn，ontheear。
Peachcobbler，Southernstyle。Hotcorn-pone，withchitlings，Peachpie。Americanmincepie。Southernstyle。
Pumpkinpie。Squashpie。Hothoe-cake，Southernstyle。
AllsortsofAmericanpastry。
FreshAmericanfruitsofallsorts，includingstrawberries，whicharenottobedoledoutasiftheywerejewelry，butinamoreliberalway。
Ice-water——notpreparedintheineffectualgoblet，butinthesincereandcapablerefrigerator。
AmericansintendingtospendayearorsoinEuropeanhotels，willdowelltocopythisbillandcarryitalong。Theywillfinditanexcellentthingtogetupanappetitewith，inthedispiritingpresenceofthesqualidtabled\'ho^te。
Foreignerscannotenjoyourfood，Isuppose，anymorethanwecanenjoytheirs。Itisnotstrange；fortastesaremade，notborn。ImightglorifymybilloffareuntilIwastired；
butafterall，theScotchmanwouldshakehisheadandsay，\"Where\'syourhaggis?\"andtheFijianwouldsighandsay，\"Where\'syourmissionary?\"
Ihaveaneattalentinmatterspertainingtonourishment。
Thishasmetwithprofessionalrecognition。Ihaveoftenfurnishedrecipesforcook-books。Herearesomedesignsforpiesandthings，whichIrecentlypreparedforafriend\'sprojectedcook-book，butasIforgottofurnishdiagramsandperspectives，theyhadtobeleftout，ofcourse。
RECIPEFORANASH-CAKE
TakealotofwaterandaddtoitalotofcoarseIndian-mealandaboutaquarterofalotofsalt。
Mixwelltogether，kneadintotheformofa\"pone，\"andlettheponestandawhile——notonitsedge，buttheotherway。
Rakeawayaplaceamongtheembers，layitthere，andcoveritaninchdeepwithhotashes。Whenitisdone，removeit；blowoffalltheashesbutonelayer；
butterthatoneandeat。
N。B——Nohouseholdshouldeverbewithoutthistalisman。
Ithasbeennoticedthattrampsneverreturnforanotherash-cake——
RECIPEFORNEWENGLISHPIE
Tomakethisexcellentbreakfastdish，proceedasfollows:Takeasufficiencyofwaterandasufficiencyofflour，andconstructabullet-proofdough。
Workthisintotheformofadisk，withtheedgesturnedupsomethree-fourthsofaninch。Toughenandkiln-dryinacoupledaysinamildbutunvaryingtemperature。
Constructacoverforthisredoubtinthesamewayandofthesamematerial。Fillwithsteweddriedapples；
aggravatewithcloves，lemon-peel，andslabsofcitron；
addtwoportionsofNewOrleanssugars，thensolderonthelidandsetinasafeplacetillitpetrifies。
Servecoldatbreakfastandinviteyourenemy——
RECIPEFORGERMANCOFFEE
Takeabarrelofwaterandbringittoaboil；rubachicoryberryagainstacoffeeberry，thenconveytheformerintothewater。Continuetheboilingandevaporationuntiltheintensityoftheflavorandaromaofthecoffeeandchicoryhasbeendiminishedtoaproperdegree；
thensetasidetocool。Nowunharnesstheremainsofaoncecowfromtheplow，inserttheminahydraulicpress，andwhenyoushallhaveacquiredateaspoonofthatpale-bluejuicewhichaGermansuperstitionregardsasmilk，modifythemalignityofitsstrengthinabucketoftepidwaterandringupthebreakfast。Mixthebeverageinacoldcup，partakewithmoderation，andkeepawetragaroundyourheadtoguardagainstover-excitement——
TOCARVEFOWLSINTHEGERMANFASHION
Useaclub，andavoidthejoints。
CHAPTERL
[TitianBadandTitianGood]
Iwonderwhysomethingsare?Forinstance，Artisallowedasmuchindecentlicensetodayasinearliertimes——
buttheprivilegesofLiteratureinthisrespecthavebeensharplycurtailedwithinthepasteightyorninetyyears。
FieldingandSmollettcouldportraythebeastlinessoftheirdayinthebeastliestlanguage；wehaveplentyoffoulsubjectstodealwithinourday，butwearenotallowedtoapproachthemverynear，evenwithniceandguardedformsofspeech。ButnotsowithArt。
Thebrushmaystilldealfreelywithanysubject，howeverrevoltingorindelicate。Itmakesabodyoozesarcasmateverypore，togoaboutRomeandFlorenceandseewhatthislastgenerationhasbeendoingwiththestatues。
Theseworks，whichhadstoodininnocentnakednessforages，areallfig-leavednow。Yes，everyoneofthem。
Nobodynoticedtheirnakednessbefore，perhaps；nobodycanhelpnoticingitnow，thefig-leafmakesitsoconspicuous。
Butthecomicalthingaboutitall，is，thatthefig-leafisconfinedtocoldandpallidmarble，whichwouldbestillcoldandunsuggestivewithoutthisshamandostentatioussymbolofmodesty，whereaswarm-bloodpaintingswhichdoreallyneedithaveinnocasebeenfurnishedwithit。
AtthedooroftheUffizzi，inFlorence，oneisconfrontedbystatuesofamanandawoman，noseless，battered，blackwithaccumulatedgrime——theyhardlysuggesthumanbeings——
yettheseridiculouscreatureshavebeenthoughtfullyandconscientiouslyfig-leavedbythisfastidiousgeneration。
Youenter，andproceedtothatmost-visitedlittlegallerythatexistsintheworld——theTribune——andthere，againstthewall，withoutobstructingragorleaf，youmaylookyourfilluponthefoulest，thevilest，theobscenestpicturetheworldpossesses——Titian\'sVenus。
Itisn\'tthatsheisnakedandstretchedoutonabed——no，itistheattitudeofoneofherarmsandhand。IfI
venturedtodescribethatattitude，therewouldbeafinehowl——buttheretheVenuslies，foranybodytogloatoverthatwantsto——andthereshehasarighttolie，forsheisaworkofart，andArthasitsprivileges。
Isawyounggirlsstealingfurtiveglancesather；Isawyoungmengazelongandabsorbedlyather；Isawaged，infirmmenhanguponhercharmswithapatheticinterest。
HowIshouldliketodescribeher——justtoseewhataholyindignationIcouldstirupintheworld——justtoheartheunreflectingaveragemandeliverhimselfaboutmygrossnessandcoarseness，andallthat。Theworldsaysthatnowordeddescriptionofamovingspectacleisahundredthpartasmovingasthesamespectacleseenwithone\'sowneyes——yettheworldiswillingtoletitssonanditsdaughteranditselflookatTitian\'sbeast，butwon\'tstandadescriptionofitinwords。
Whichshowsthattheworldisnotasconsistentasitmightbe。
Therearepicturesofnudewomenwhichsuggestnoimpurethought——Iamwellawareofthat。Iamnotrailingatsuch。WhatIamtryingtoemphasizeisthefactthatTitian\'sVenusisveryfarfrombeingoneofthatsort。
Withoutanyquestionitwaspaintedforabagnioanditwasprobablyrefusedbecauseitwasatrifletoostrong。
Intruth，itistoostrongforanyplacebutapublicArtGallery。TitianhastwoVenusesintheTribune；
personswhohaveseenthemwilleasilyrememberwhichoneIamreferringto。
IneverygalleryinEuropetherearehideouspicturesofblood，carnage，oozingbrains，putrefaction——picturesportrayingintolerablesuffering——picturesalivewitheveryconceivablehorror，wroughtoutindreadfuldetail——andsimilarpicturesarebeingputonthecanvaseverydayandpubliclyexhibited——withoutagrowlfromanybody——fortheyareinnocent，theyareinoffensive，beingworksofart。Butsupposealiteraryartistventuredtogointoapainstakingandelaboratedescriptionofoneofthesegrislythings——thecriticswouldskinhimalive。Well，letitgo，itcannotbehelped；
Artretainsherprivileges，Literaturehaslosthers。
Somebodyelsemaycipheroutthewhysandthewhereforesandtheconsistenciesofit——Ihaven\'tgottime。
Titian\'sVenusdefilesanddisgracestheTribune，thereisnosofteningthatfact，buthis\"Moses\"glorifiesit。
Thesimpletruthfulnessofitsnobleworkwinstheheartandtheapplauseofeveryvisitor，behelearnedorignorant。
Afterwearyingone\'sselfwiththeacresofstuffy，sappy，expressionlessbabiesthatpopulatethecanvasesoftheOldMastersofItaly，itisrefreshingtostandbeforethispeerlesschildandfeelthatthrillwhichtellsyouyouareatlastinthepresenceoftherealthing。
Thisisahumanchild，thisisgenuine。Youhaveseenhimathousandtimes——youhaveseenhimjustasheishere——
andyouconfess，withoutreserve，thatTitianWASaMaster。
Thedoll-facesofotherpaintedbabesmaymeanonething，theymaymeananother，butwiththe\"Moses\"thecaseisdifferent。Themostfamousofalltheart-criticshassaid，\"Thereisnoroomfordoubt，here——plainlythischildisintrouble。\"
Iconsiderthatthe\"Moses\"hasnoequalamongtheworksoftheOldMasters，exceptitbethedivineHairTrunkofBassano。IfeelsurethatifalltheotherOldMasterswerelostandonlythesetwopreserved，theworldwouldbethegainerbyit。
MysolepurposeingoingtoFlorencewastoseethisimmortal\"Moses，\"andbygoodfortuneIwasjustintime，fortheywerealreadypreparingtoremoveittoamoreprivateandbetter-protectedplacebecauseafashionofrobbingthegreatgallerieswasprevailinginEuropeatthetime。
Igotacapableartisttocopythepicture；Pannemaker，theengraverofDor\'e\'sbooks，engraveditforme，andIhavethepleasureoflayingitbeforethereaderinthisvolume。
WetookaturntoRomeandsomeotherItaliancities——
thentoMunich，andthencetoParis——partlyforexercise，butmainlybecausethesethingswereinourprojectedprogram，anditwasonlyrightthatweshouldbefaithfultoit。
FromParisIbranchedoutandwalkedthroughHollandandBelgium，procuringanoccasionalliftbyrailorcanalwhentired，andIhadatolerablygoodtimeofit\"byandlarge。\"
IworkedSpainandotherregionsthroughagentstosavetimeandshoe-leather。
WecrossedtoEngland，andthenmadethehomewardpassageintheCunarderGALLIA，averyfineship。
Iwasgladtogethome——immeasurablyglad；soglad，infact，thatitdidnotseempossiblethatanythingcouldevergetmeoutofthecountryagain。IhadnotenjoyedapleasureabroadwhichseemedtometocomparewiththepleasureIfeltinseeingNewYorkharboragain。
Europehasmanyadvantageswhichwehavenot，buttheydonotcompensateforagoodmanystillmorevaluableoneswhichexistnowherebutinourowncountry。
Thenwearesuchahomelesslotwhenweareoverthere!SoareEuropeansthemselves，forthematter。
Theyliveindarkandchillyvasttombs——costlyenough，maybe，butwithoutconveniences。TobecondemnedtoliveastheaverageEuropeanfamilyliveswouldmakelifeaprettyheavyburdentotheaverageAmericanfamily。
Onthewhole，IthinkthatshortvisitstoEuropearebetterforusthanlongones。TheformerpreserveusfrombecomingEuropeanized；theykeepourprideofcountryintact，andatthesametimetheyintensifyouraffectionforourcountryandourpeople；whereaslongvisitshavetheeffectofdullingthosefeelings——atleastinthemajorityofcases。IthinkthatonewhomixesmuchwithAmericanslongresidentabroadmustarriveatthisconclusion。
APPENDIX
NothinggivessuchweightanddignitytoabookasanAppendix。HERODOTUS
APPENDIXA
ThePortierOmarKhay\'am，thepoet-prophetofPersia，writingmorethaneighthundredyearsago，hassaid:
\"Inthefourpartsoftheeartharemanythatareabletowritelearnedbooks，manythatareabletoleadarmies，andmanyalsothatareabletogovernkingdomsandempires；
butfewtherebethatcankeepahotel。\"
AwordabouttheEuropeanhotelPORTIER。Heisamostadmirableinvention，amostvaluableconvenience。
Healwayswearsaconspicuousuniform；hecanalwaysbefoundwhenheiswanted，forhestickscloselytohispostatthefrontdoor；heisaspoliteasaduke；
hespeaksfromfourtotenlanguages；heisyoursuresthelpandrefugeintimeoftroubleorperplexity。
Heisnottheclerk，heisnotthelandlord；heranksabovetheclerk，andrepresentsthelandlord，whoisseldomseen。
Insteadofgoingtotheclerkforinformation，aswedoathome，yougototheportier。Itistheprideofouraveragehotelclerktoknownothingwhatever；itistheprideoftheportiertoknoweverything。Youasktheportieratwhathoursthetrainsleave——hetellsyouinstantly；
oryouaskhimwhoisthebestphysicianintown；orwhatisthehacktariff；orhowmanychildrenthemayorhas；