LeavingthewidowonthelandingSueturnedtothechamberwhichhadbeenhersexclusivelysinceherarrivalatMarygreen，andpushingtothedoorkneltdownbythebedforaminuteortwo。Shethenarose，andtakinghernight-gownfromthepillowundressedandcameouttoMrs。Edlin。
Amancouldbeheardsnoringintheroomopposite。ShewishedMrs。Edlingood-night，andthewidowenteredtheroomthatSuehadjustvacated。
Sueunlatchedtheotherchamberdoor，and，asifseizedwithfaintness，sankdownoutsideit。Gettingupagainshehalfopenedthedoor，andsaid`Richard。’Asthewordcameoutofhermouthshevisiblyshuddered。
Thesnoringhadquiteceasedforsometime，buthedidnotreply。
Sueseemedrelieved，andhurriedbacktoMrs。Edlin’schamber。`Areyouinbed，Mrs。Edlin？’sheasked。
`No，dear，’saidthewidow，openingthedoor。`Ibeoldandslow，andittakesmealongwhiletoun-ray。Ihan’tunlacedmyjumpsyet。’
`I-don’thearhim！Andperhaps-perhaps——’
`What，child？’
`Perhapshe’sdead！’shegasped。`Andthen-Ishouldbefree，andIcouldgotoJude！……Ah-no-Iforgother-andGod！’
`Let’sgoandhearken。No-he’ssnoringagain。Buttherainandthewindissoloudthatyoucanhardlyhearanythingbutbetweenwhiles。’
Suehaddraggedherselfback。`Mrs。Edlin，good-nightagain！I
amsorryIcalledyouout。’Thewidowretreatedasecondtime。
Thestrained，resignedlookreturnedtoSue’sfacewhenshewasalone。`Imustdoit-Imust！Imustdrinktothedregs！’shewhispered。
`Richard！’shesaidagain。
`Hey-what？Isthatyou，Susanna？’
`Yes。’
`Whatdoyouwant？Anythingthematter？Waitamoment。’Hepulledonsomearticlesofclothing，andcametothedoor。`Yes？’
`WhenwewereatShastonIjumpedoutofthewindowratherthanthatyoushouldcomenearme。Ihaveneverreversedthattreatmenttillnow-whenIhavecometobegyourpardonforit，andaskyoutoletmein。’
`Perhapsyouonlythinkyououghttodothis？Idon’twishyoutocomeagainstyourimpulses，asIhavesaid。’
`ButIbegtobeadmitted。’Shewaitedamoment，andrepeated，`Ibegtobeadmitted！Ihavebeeninerror-evento-day。Ihaveexceededmyrights。Ididnotmeantotellyou，butperhapsIought。Isinnedagainstyouthisafternoon。’
`How？’
`ImetJude！Ididn’tknowhewascoming。And——’
`Well？’
`Ikissedhim，andlethimkissme。’
`Oh-theoldstory！’
`Richard，Ididn’tknowweweregoingtokisseachothertillwedid！’
`Howmanytimes？’
`Agoodmany。Idon’tknow。Iamhorrifiedtolookbackonit，andtheleastIcandoafteritistocometoyoulikethis。’
`Come-thisisprettybad，afterwhatI’vedone！Anythingelsetoconfess？’
`No。’Shehadbeenintendingtosay：`Icalledhimmydarlinglove。’But，asacontritewomanalwayskeepsbackalittle，thatportionofthesceneremaineduntold。Shewenton：`Iamnevergoingtoseehimanymore。Hespokeofsomethingsofthepast：anditovercameme。Hespokeof-thechildren。But，asIhavesaid，Iamglad-almostgladImean-thattheyaredead，Richard。Itblotsoutallthatlifeofmine！’
`Well-aboutnotseeinghimagainanymore。Come-youreallymeanthis？’TherewassomethinginPhillotson’stonenowwhichseemedtoshowthathisthreemonthsofremarriagewithSuehadsomehownotbeensosatisfactoryashismagnanimityoramativepatiencehadanticipated。
`Yes，yes！’
`Perhapsyou’llswearitontheNewTestament？’
`Iwill。’
HewentbacktotheroomandbroughtoutalittlebrownTestament。
`Nowthen：SohelpyouGod！’
Sheswore。
`Verygood！’
`NowIsupplicateyou，Richard，towhomIbelong，andwhomIwishtohonourandobey，asIvowed，toletmein。’
`Thinkitoverwell。Youknowwhatitmeans。Havingyoubackinthehousewasonething-thisanother。Sothinkagain。’
`Ihavethought-Iwishthis！’
`That’sacomplaisantspirit-andperhapsyouareright。Withaloverhangingabout，ahalf-marriageshouldbecompleted。ButIrepeatmyreminderthisthirdandlasttime。’
`Itismywish！……OGod！’
`Whatdidyousay`OGod’for？’
`Idon’tknow！’
`Yesyoudo！But……’Hegloomilyconsideredherthinandfragileformamomentlongerasshecrouchedbeforehiminhernight-clothes。`Well，Ithoughtitmightendlikethis，’hesaidpresently。`Ioweyounothing，afterthesesigns；butI’lltakeyouinatyourword，andforgiveyou。’
Heputhisarmroundhertoliftherup。Suestartedback。
`What’sthematter？’heasked，speakingforthefirsttimesternly。
`Youshrinkfrommeagain？-justasformerly！’
`No，Richard-I-I-wasnotthinking——’
`Youwishtocomeinhere？’
`Yes。’
`Youstillbearinmindwhatitmeans？’
`Yes。Itismyduty！’
Placingthecandlestickonthechestofdrawersheledherthroughthedoorway，andliftingherbodily，kissedher。Aquicklookofaversionpassedoverherface，butclenchingherteethsheutterednocry。
Mrs。Edlinhadbythistimeundressed，andwasabouttogetintobedwhenshesaidtoherself：`Ah-perhapsI’dbettergoandseeifthelittlethingisallright。Howitdoblowandrain！’
Thewidowwentoutonthelanding，andsawthatSuehaddisappeared。
`Ah！Poorsoul！Weddingsbefunerals’ab’lievenowadays。Fifty-fiveyearsago，comeFall，sincemymanandImarried！Timeshavechangedsincethen！’
JudetheObscureChapter52VI-xDespitehimselfJuderecoveredsomewhat，andworkedathistradeforseveralweeks。AfterChristmas，however，hebrokedownagain。
Withthemoneyhehadearnedheshiftedhislodgingstoayetmorecentralpartofthetown。ButArabellasawthathewasnotlikelytodomuchworkforalongwhile，andwascrossenoughattheturnaffairshadtakensinceherremarriagetohim。`I’mhangedifyouhaven’tbeencleverinthislaststroke！’shewouldsay，`togetanursefornothingbymarryingme！’
Judewasabsolutelyindifferenttowhatshesaid，andindeed，oftenregardedherabuseinahumorouslight。Sometimeshismoodwasmoreearnest，andashelayheoftenrambledonuponthedefeatofhisearlyaims。
`Everymanhassomelittlepowerinsomeonedirection，’hewouldsay。`Iwasneverreallystoutenoughforthestonetrade，particularlythefixing。Movingtheblocksalwaysusedtostrainme，andstandingthetryingdraughtsinbuildingsbeforethewindowsareinalwaysgavemecolds，andIthinkthatbeganthemischiefinside。ButIfeltIcoulddoonethingifIhadtheopportunity。Icouldaccumulateideas，andimpartthemtoothers。IwonderifthefoundershadsuchasIintheirminds-afellowgoodfornothingelsebutthatparticularthing？……IhearthatsoonthereisgoingtobeabetterchanceforsuchhelplessstudentsasIwas。Thereareschemesafootformakingtheuniversitylessexclusive，andextendingitsinfluence。Idon’tknowmuchaboutit。Anditistoolate，toolateforme！Ah-andforhowmanyworthieronesbeforeme！’
`Howyoukeepa-mumbling！’saidArabella。`Ishouldhavethoughtyou’dhavegotoverallthatcrazeaboutbooksbythistime。Andsoyouwould，ifyou’dhadanysensetobeginwith。Youareasbadnowaswhenwewerefirstmarried。’
Ononeoccasionwhilesoliloquizingthushecalledher`Sue’unconsciously。
`Iwishyou’dmindwhoyouaretalkingto！’saidArabellaindignantly。
`Callingarespectablemarriedwomanbythenameofthat-`Sherememberedherselfandhedidnotcatchtheword。
Butinthecourseoftime，whenshesawhowthingsweregoing，andhowverylittleshehadtofearfromSue’srivalry，shehadafitofgenerosity。`Isupposeyouwanttoseeyour-Sue？’shesaid。`Well，I
don’tmindhercoming。Youcanhaveherhereifyoulike。’
`Idon’twishtoseeheragain。’
`Oh-that’sachange！’
`Anddon’ttellheranythingaboutme-thatI’mill，oranything。
Shehaschosenhercourse。Lethergo！’
Onedayhereceivedasurprise。Mrs。Edlincametoseehim，quiteonherownaccount。Jude’swife，whosefeelingsastowherehisaffectionswerecentredhadreachedabsoluteindifferencebythistime，wentout，leavingtheoldwomanalonewithJude。HeimpulsivelyaskedhowSuewas，andthensaidbluntly，rememberingwhatSuehadtoldhim：`Isupposetheyarestillonlyhusbandandwifeinname？’
Mrs。Edlinhesitated。`Well，no-it’sdifferentnow。She’sbegunitquitelately-allofherownfreewill。’
`Whendidshebegin？’heaskedquickly。
`Thenightafteryoucame。Butasapunishmenttoherpoorself。
Hedidn’twishit，butsheinsisted。’
`Sue，mySue-youdarlingfool-thisisalmostmorethanIcanendure！……Mrs。Edlin-don’tbefrightenedatmyrambling-I’vegottotalktomyselflyingheresomanyhoursalone-shewasonceawomanwhoseintellectwastominelikeastartoabenzolinelamp：whosawallmysuperstitionsascobwebsthatshecouldbrushawaywithaword。
Thenbitterafflictioncametous，andherintellectbroke，andsheveeredroundtodarkness。Strangedifferenceofsex，thattimeandcircumstance，whichenlargetheviewsofmostmen，narrowtheviewsofwomenalmostinvariably。
Andnowtheultimatehorrorhascome-hergivingherselflikethistowhatsheloathes，inherenslavementtoforms！She，sosensitive，soshrinking，thattheverywindseemedtoblowonherwithatouchofdeference……
AsforSueandmewhenwewereatourownbest，longago-whenourmindswereclear，andourloveoftruthfearless-thetimewasnotripeforus！Ourideaswerefiftyyearstoosoontobeanygoodtous。Andsotheresistancetheymetwithbroughtreactioninher，andrecklessnessandruinonme！……There-this，Mrs。Edlin，ishowIgoontomyselfcontinually，asIliehere。Imustbeboringyouawfully。’
`Notatall，mydearboy。Icouldhearkento’eeallday。’
AsJudereflectedmoreandmoreonhernews，andgrewmorerestless，hebeganinhismentalagonytouseterriblyprofanelanguageaboutsocialconventions，whichstartedafitofcoughing。Presentlytherecameaknockatthedoordownstairs。AsnobodyanswereditMrs。Edlinherselfwentdown。
Thevisitorsaidblandly：`Thedoctor。’ThelankyformwasthatofPhysicianVilbert，whohadbeencalledinbyArabella。
`Howismypatientatpresent？’askedthephysician。
`Ohbad-verybad！Poorchap，hegotexcited，anddoblaspeamterribly，sinceIletoutsomegossipbyaccident-themoretomyblame。
Butthere-youmustexcuseamaninsufferingforwhathesays，andI
hopeGodwillforgivehim。’
`Ah。I’llgoupandseehim。Mrs。Fawleyathome？’
`She’snotinatpresent，butshe’llbeheresoon。’
Vilbertwent；butthoughJudehadhithertotakenthemedicinesofthatskilfulpractitionerwiththegreatestindifferencewheneverpoureddownhisthroatbyArabella，hewasnowsobroughttobaybyeventsthatheventedhisopinionofVilbertinthephysician’sface，andsoforcibly，andwithsuchstrikingepithets，thatVilbertsoonscurrieddownstairsagain。AtthedoorhemetArabella，Mrs。Edlinhavingleft。Arabellainquiredhowhethoughtherhusbandwasnow，andseeingthatthedoctorlookedruffled，askedhimtotakesomething。Heassented。
`I’llbringittoyouhereinthepassage，’shesaid。`There’snobodybutmeaboutthehouseto-day。’
Shebroughthimabottleandaglass，andhedrank。
Arabellabeganshakingwithsuppressedlaughter。`Whatisthis，mydear？’heasked，smackinghislips。
`Oh-adropofwine-andsomethinginit。’Laughingagainshesaid：`Ipouredyourownlove-philtreintoit，thatyousoldmeattheagriculturalshow，don’tyoure-member？’