ItisamercyIhavenotaredandgreenlampandanight-bellatmydoor，forinmyveryyoungdaysIwastakentosomanylyings-inthatIwonderIescapedbecomingaprofessionalmartyrtotheminafter-life。IsupposeIhadaverysympatheticnurse，withalargecircleofmarriedacquaintance。Howeverthatwas，asIcontinuedmywalkthroughDullborough，Ifoundmanyhousestobesolelyassociatedinmymindwiththisparticularinterest。Atonelittlegreengrocer’sshop，downcertainstepsfromthestreet，IremembertohavewaitedonaladywhohadhadfourchildrenIamafraidtowritefive，thoughIfullybelieveitwasfiveatabirth。ThismeritoriouswomanheldquiteareceptioninherroomonthemorningwhenIwasintroducedthere，andthesightofthehousebroughtvividlytomymindhowthefourfivedeceasedyoungpeoplelay，sidebyside，onacleanclothonachestofdrawers；remindingmebyahomelyassociation，whichIsuspecttheircomplexiontohaveassisted，ofpigs’feetastheyareusuallydisplayedataneattripe-shop。Hotcandlewashandedroundontheoccasion，andI
furtherrememberedasIstoodcontemplatingthegreengrocer’s，thatasubscriptionwasenteredintoamongthecompany，whichbecameextremelyalarmingtomyconsciousnessofhavingpocket-moneyonmyperson。Thisfactbeingknowntomyconductress，whoevershewas，Iwasearnestlyexhortedtocontribute，butresolutelydeclined:
thereindisgustingthecompany，whogavemetounderstandthatI
mustdismissallexpectationsofgoingtoHeaven。
Howdoesithappenthatwhenallelseischangewhereveronegoes，thereyetseem，ineveryplace，tobesomefewpeoplewhoneveralter？Asthesightofthegreengrocer’shouserecalledthesetrivialincidentsoflongago，theidenticalgreengrocerappearedonthesteps，withhishandsinhispockets，andleaninghisshoulderagainstthedoor-post，asmychildisheyeshadseenhimmanyatime；indeed，therewashisoldmarkonthedoor-postyet，asifhisshadowhadbecomeafixturethere。Itwashehimself；hemightformerlyhavebeenanold-lookingyoungman，orhemightnowbeayoung-lookingoldman，buttherehewas。Inwalkingalongthestreet，Ihadasyetlookedinvainforafamiliarface，orevenatransmittedface；herewastheverygreengrocerwhohadbeenweighingandhandlingbasketsonthemorningofthereception。Ashebroughtwithhimadawningremembrancethathehadhadnoproprietaryinterestinthosebabies，Icrossedtheroad，andaccostedhimonthesubject。Hewasnotintheleastexcitedorgratified，orinanywayroused，bytheaccuracyofmyrecollection，butsaid，Yes，summutoutofthecommon-hedidn’trememberhowmanyitwasasifhalf-a-dozenbabeseitherwaymadenodifference-hadhappenedtoaMrs。What’s-her-name，asoncelodgedthere-buthedidn’tcallittomind，particular。Nettledbythisphlegmaticconduct，IinformedhimthatIhadleftthetownwhenIwasachild。Heslowlyreturned，quiteunsoftened，andnotwithoutasarcastickindofcomplacency，HADI？Ah！AnddidI
findithadgotontolerablywellwithoutme？SuchisthedifferenceIthought，whenIhadlefthimafewhundredyardsbehind，andwasbysomuchinabettertemperbetweengoingawayfromaplaceandremaininginit。Ihadnoright，Ireflected，tobeangrywiththegreengrocerforhiswantofinterest，Iwasnothingtohim:whereashewasthetown，thecathedral，thebridge，theriver，mychildhood，andalargesliceofmylife，tome。
Ofcoursethetownhadshrunkfearfully，sinceIwasachildthere。
IhadentertainedtheimpressionthattheHigh-streetwasatleastaswideasRegent-street，London，ortheItalianBoulevardatParis。Ifounditlittlebetterthanalane。Therewasapublicclockinit，whichIhadsupposedtobethefinestclockintheworld:whereasitnowturnedouttobeasinexpressive，moon-
faced，andweakaclockaseverIsaw。ItbelongedtoaTownHall，whereIhadseenanIndianwhoInowsupposewasn’tanIndian
swallowaswordwhichInowsupposehedidn’t。Theedificehadappearedtomeinthosedayssogloriousastructure，thatIhadsetitupinmymindasthemodelonwhichtheGenieoftheLampbuiltthepalaceforAladdin。Ameanlittlebrickheap，likeadementedchapel，withafewyawningpersonsinleathergaiters，andinthelastextremityforsomethingtodo，loungingatthedoorwiththeirhandsintheirpockets，andcallingthemselvesaCornExchange！
TheTheatrewasinexistence，Ifound，onaskingthefishmonger，whohadacompactshowofstockinhiswindow，consistingofasoleandaquartofshrimps-andIresolvedtocomfortmymindbygoingtolookatit。RichardtheThird，inaveryuncomfortablecloak，hadfirstappearedtomethere，andhadmademyheartleapwithterrorbybackingupagainstthestage-boxinwhichIwasposted，whilestrugglingforlifeagainstthevirtuousRichmond。ItwaswithinthosewallsthatIhadlearntasfromapageofEnglishhistory，howthatwickedKingsleptinwar-timeonasofamuchtooshortforhim，andhowfearfullyhisconsciencetroubledhisboots。
There，too，hadIfirstseenthefunnycountryman，butcountrymanofnobleprinciples，inafloweredwaistcoat，crunchuphislittlehatandthrowitontheground，andpulloffhiscoat，saying，’Domthee，squire，coomonwiththyfistesthen！’Atwhichthelovelyyoungwomanwhokeptcompanywithhimandwhowentoutgleaning，inanarrowwhitemuslinapronwithfivebeautifulbarsoffivedifferent-colouredribbonsacrossitwassofrightenedforhissake，thatshefaintedaway。ManywondroussecretsofNaturehadI
cometotheknowledgeofinthatsanctuary:ofwhichnottheleastterrificwere，thatthewitchesinMacbethboreanawfulresemblancetotheThanesandotherproperinhabitantsofScotland；
andthatthegoodKingDuncancouldn’trestinhisgrave，butwasconstantlycomingoutofitandcallinghimselfsomebodyelse。TotheTheatre，therefore，Irepairedforconsolation。ButIfoundverylittle，foritwasinabadanddecliningway。Adealerinwineandbottledbeerhadalreadysqueezedhistradeintothebox-
office，andthetheatricalmoneywastaken-whenitcame-inakindofmeat-safeinthepassage。Thedealerinwineandbottledbeermusthaveinsinuatedhimselfunderthestagetoo；forheannouncedthathehadvariousdescriptionsofalcoholicdrinks’inthewood，’andtherewasnopossiblestowageforthewoodanywhereelse。Evidently，hewasbydegreeseatingtheestablishmentawaytothecore，andwouldsoonhavesolepossessionofit。ItwasToLet，andhopelesslyso，foritsoldpurposes；andtherehadbeennoentertainmentwithinitswallsforalongtimeexceptaPanorama；
andeventhathadbeenannouncedas’pleasinglyinstructive，’andI
knowtoowellthefatalmeaningandtheleadenimportofthoseterribleexpressions。No，therewasnocomfortintheTheatre。Itwasmysteriouslygone，likemyownyouth。Unlikemyownyouth，itmightbecomingbacksomeday；buttherewaslittlepromiseofit。
AsthetownwasplacardedwithreferencestotheDullboroughMechanics’Institution，IthoughtIwouldgoandlookatthatestablishmentnext。Therehadbeennosuchthinginthetown，inmyyoungday，anditoccurredtomethatitsextremeprosperitymighthavebroughtadversityupontheDrama。IfoundtheInstitutionwithsomedifficulty，andshouldscarcelyhaveknownthatIhadfounditifIhadjudgedfromitsexternalappearanceonly；butthiswasattributabletoitsneverhavingbeenfinished，andhavingnofront:consequently，itledamodestandretiredexistenceupastable-yard。ItwasasIlearnt，oninquiryamostflourishingInstitution，andofthehighestbenefittothetown:twotriumphswhichIwasgladtounderstandwerenotatallimpairedbytheseemingdrawbacksthatnomechanicsbelongedtoit，andthatitwassteepedindebttothechimney-pots。Ithadalargeroom，whichwasapproachedbyaninfirmstep-ladder:thebuilderhavingdeclinedtoconstructtheintendedstaircase，withoutapresentpaymentincash，whichDullboroughthoughprofoundlyappreciativeoftheInstitutionseemedunaccountablybashfulaboutsubscribing。Thelargeroomhadcost-orwould，whenpaidfor-fivehundredpounds；andithadmoremortarinitandmoreechoes，thanonemighthaveexpectedtogetforthemoney。
Itwasfittedupwithaplatform，andtheusuallecturingtools，includingalargeblackboardofamenacingappearance。OnreferringtolistsofthecoursesoflecturesthathadbeengiveninthisthrivingHall，IfanciedIdetectedashynessinadmittingthathumannaturewhenatleisurehasanydesirewhatevertoberelievedanddiverted；andafurtiveslidinginofanypoormake-
weightpieceofamusement，shame-facedlyandedgewise。Thus，I
observedthatitwasnecessaryforthememberstobeknockedontheheadwithGas，Air，Water，Food，theSolarSystem，theGeologicalperiods，CriticismonMilton，theSteam-engine，JohnBunyan，andArrow-HeadedInscriptions，beforetheymightbetickledbythoseunaccountablechoristers，thenegrosingersinthecourtcostumeofthereignofGeorgetheSecond。Likewise，thattheymustbestunnedbyaweightyinquirywhethertherewasinternalevidenceinShakespeare’sworks，toprovethathisunclebythemother’ssidelivedforsomeyearsatStokeNewington，beforetheywerebrought-
tobyaMiscellaneousConcert。But，indeed，themaskingofentertainment，andpretendingitwassomethingelse-aspeoplemaskbedsteadswhentheyareobligedtohavetheminsitting-rooms，andmakebelievethattheyarebook-cases，sofas，chestsofdrawers，anythingratherthanbedsteads-wasmanifesteveninthepretenceofdrearinessthattheunfortunateentertainersthemselvesfeltobligedindecencytoputforthwhentheycamehere。Oneveryagreeableprofessionalsinger，whotravelledwithtwoprofessionalladies，knewbetterthantointroduceeitherofthoseladiestosingtheballad’Comin’throughtheRye’withoutprefacingithimself，withsomegeneralremarksonwheatandclover；andeventhen，hedarednotforhislifecallthesong，asong，butdisguiseditinthebillasan’Illustration。’Inthelibrary，also-fittedwithshelvesforthreethousandbooks，andcontainingupwardsofonehundredandseventypresentedcopiesmostly，seethingtheiredgesindampplaster-therewassuchapainfullyapologeticreturnof62offenderswhohadreadTravels，PopularBiography，andmereFictiondescriptiveoftheaspirationsoftheheartsandsoulsofmerehumancreatureslikethemselves；andsuchanelaborateparadeof2brightexampleswhohadhaddownEuclidaftertheday’soccupationandconfinement；and3whohadhaddownMetaphysicsafterditto；and1whohadhaddownTheologyafterditto；and4whohadworriedGrammar，PoliticalEconomy，Botany，andLogarithmsallatonceafterditto；thatIsuspectedtheboastedclasstobeoneman，whohadbeenhiredtodoit。
EmergingfromtheMechanics’Institutionandcontinuingmywalkaboutthetown，Istillnoticedeverywheretheprevalence，toanextraordinarydegree，ofthiscustomofputtingthenaturaldemandforamusementoutofsight，assomeuntidyhousekeepersputdust，andpretendingthatitwassweptaway。Andyetitwasministeredto，inadullandabortivemanner，byallwhomadethisfeint。
LookinginatwhatiscalledinDullborough’theseriousbookseller’s，’where，inmychildhood，Ihadstudiedthefacesofnumbersofgentlemendepictedinrostrumswithagaslightoneachsideofthem，andcastingmyeyesovertheopenpagesofcertainprinteddiscoursesthere，Ifoundavastdealofaimingatjocosityanddramaticeffect，eveninthem-yes，verily，evenonthepartofoneverywrathfulexpounderwhobitterlyanathematisedapoorlittleCircus。Similarly，inthereadingprovidedfortheyoungpeopleenrolledintheLassoofLove，andotherexcellentunions，I