Hewastheauthorofallthepamphletsthathadbeenwrittenonthesubjectofmortmain；andashewasanintimatefriendoftheambassador’s，M。MocenigohadfurnishedhimwithanaccountoftheproceedingsoftheVenetianRepublicagainstthemonks。HemighthavedispensedwiththissourceofinformationifhehadreadthewritingsofFatherPaulSarpionthesamesubject。Quick—sighted，firm，withthecourageofhisopinions，CampomaneswasthefiscaloftheSupremeCouncilofCastille，ofwhichArandawaspresident。Everyoneknewhimtobeathoroughlyhonestman，whoactedsolelyforthegoodoftheState。Thusstatesmenandofficialshadwarmfeelingsofrespectforhim，whilethemonksandbigotshatedthesoundofhisname，andtheInquisitionhadsworntobehisruin。Itwassaidopenlythathewouldeitherbecomeabishoporperishinthecellsoftheholybrotherhood。Theprophecywasonlypartlyfulfilled。FouryearsaftermyvisittoSpainhewasincarceratedinthedungeonsoftheInquisition，butheobtainedhisreleaseafterthreeyears’confinementbydoingpublicpenance。TheleprosywhicheatsouttheheartofSpainisnotyetcured。Olavideswasstillmoreharshlytreated，andevenArandawouldhavefallenavictimifhehadnothadthegoodsensetoaskthekingtosendhimtoFranceashisambassador。Thekingwasverygladtodoso，asotherwisehewouldhavebeenforcedtodeliverhimuptotheinfuriatedmonks。
CharlesIII。（whodiedamadman）wasaremarkablecharacter。Hewasasobstinateasamule，asweakasawoman，asgrossasaDutchman，andathorough—pacedbigot。Itwasnowonderthathebecamethetoolofhisconfessor。
AtthetimeofwhichIamspeakingthecabinetofMadridwasoccupiedinacuriousscheme。AthousandCatholicfamilieshadbeenenticedfromSwitzerlandtoformacolonyinthebeautifulbutdesertedregioncalledtheSierraMorena，wellknownalloverEuropebyitsmentioninDonQuixote。Natureseemedtheretohavelavishedallhergifts；theclimatewasperfect，thesoilfertile，andstreamsofallkindswateredtheland，butinspiteofallitwasalmostdepopulated。
Desiringtochangethisstateofthings，hisCatholicmajestyhaddecidedtomakeapresentofalltheagriculturalproductsforacertainnumberofyearstoindustriouscolonists。HehadconsequentlyinvitedtheSwissCatholics，andhadpaidtheirexpensesforthejourney。TheSwissarrived，andtheSpanishgovernmentdiditsbesttoprovidethemwithlodgingandspiritualandtemporalsuperintendence。Olavideswasthesoulofthisscheme。Heconferredwiththeministerstoprovidethenewpopulationwithmagistrates，priests，agovernor，craftsmenofallkindstobuildchurchesandhouses，andespeciallyabull—ring，anecessityfortheSpaniards，butaperfectlyuselessprovisionasfarasthesimpleSwisswereconcerned。
InthedocumentswhichDonPabloOlavideshadcomposedonthesubjecthedemonstratedtheinexpediencyofestablishinganyreligiousordersinthenewcolony，butifhecouldhaveprovedhisopiniontobecorrectwithfootandrulehewouldnonethelesshavedrawnonhisheadtheimplacablehatredofthemonks，andofthebishopinwhosediocesethenewcolonywassituated。ThesecularclergysupportedOlavides，butthemonkscriedoutagainsthisimpiety，andastheInquisitionwaseminentlymonkishinitssympathiespersecutionhadalreadybegun，andthiswasoneofthesubjectsofconversationatthedinneratwhichIwaspresent。
Ilistenedtothearguments，sensibleandotherwise，whichwereadvanced，andIfinallygavemyopinion，asmodestlyasIcould，thatinafewyearsthecolonywouldbanishlikesmoke；andthisforseveralreasons。
\"TheSwiss，\"Isaid，\"areaverypeculiarpeople；ifyoutransplantthemtoaforeignshore，theylanguishanddie；theybecomeapreytohome—
sickness。WhenthisoncebeginsinaSwitzer，theonlythingistotakehimhometothemountain，thelake，orthevalley，wherehewasborn，orelsehewillinfalliblydie。\"
\"Itwouldbewise，Ithink，\"Icontinued，\"toendeavourtocombineaSpanishcolonywiththeSwisscolony，soastoeffectaminglingofraces。Atfirst，atallevents，theirrules，bothspiritualandtemporal，shouldbeSwiss，and，aboveall，youwouldhavetoinsurethemcompleteimmunityfromtheInquisition。TheSwisswhohasbeenbredinthecountryhaspeculiarcustomsandmannersoflove—making，ofwhichtheSpanishChurchmightnotexactlyapprove；buttheleastattempttorestraintheirlibertyinthisrespectwouldimmediatelybringaboutageneralhome—sickness。\"
AtfirstOlavidesthoughtIwasjoking，buthesoonfoundoutthatmyremarkshadsomesenseinthem。Hebeggedmetowriteoutmyopinionsonthesubject，andtogivehimthebenefitofmyknowledge。Ipromisedtodoso，andMengsfixedadayforhimtocomeanddinewithmeathishouse。
ThenextdayImovedmyhouseholdgoodstoMengs’shouse，andbeganmyphilosophicalandphysiologicaltreatiseonthecolony。
IcalledonDonEmmanueldeRoda，whowasamanofletters，a’raraaves’
inSpain。HelikedLatinpoetry，hadreadsomeItalian，butverynaturallygavethepalmtotheSpanishpoets。Hewelcomedmewarmly，beggedmetocomeandseehimagain，andtoldmehowsorryhehadbeenatmyunjustimprisonment。
TheDukeofLossadacongratulatedmeonthewayinwhichtheVenetianambassadorspokeofmeeverywhere，andencouragedmeinmyideaofgettingsomeplaceunderGovernment，promisingtogivemehissupportinthematter。
ThePrincedellaCatolica，invitedmetodinnerwiththeVenetianambassador；andinthecourseofthreeweeksIhadmadeagreatnumberofvaluableacquaintances。IthoughtseriouslyofseekingemploymentinSpain，asnothavingheardfromLisbonIdarednotgothereonthechanceoffindingsomethingtodo。IhadnotreceivedanylettersfromPaulineoflate，andhadnoideaastowhathadbecomeofher。
IpassedagoodmanyofmyeveningswithaSpanishlady，namedSabatini，whogave’tertullas’orassemblies，frequentedchieflybyfifth—rateliterarymen。IalsovisitedtheDukeofMedina—Sidonia，awell—readandintelligentman，towhomIhadbeenpresentedbyDonDomingoVarnier，oneofthegentlemenoftheking’schamber，whomIhadmetatMengs’shouse。
IpaidagoodmanyvisitstoDonnaIgnazia，butasIwasneverleftalonewithherthesevisitsbecametiresome。WhenIsuggestedapartyofpleasurewithherandhercousins，sherepliedthatshewouldlikeitasmuchasI，butasitwasLentandnearHolyWeek，inwhichGoddiedforoursalvation，itwasmorefittothinkofpenancethanpleasure。AfterEaster，shesaid，wemightconsiderthematter。IgnaziawasaperfectexampleoftheyoungSpanishdevotee。
Afortnightafter，theKingandCourtleftMadridforAranjuez。
M。deMocenigoaskedmetocomeandstaywithhim，ashewouldbeabletopresentmeatCourt。Asmaybeimagined，Ishouldhavebeenonlytoogladtoaccept，butontheeveofmydeparture，asIwasdrivingwithMengs，Iwassuddenlyseizedwithafever，andwasconvulsedsoviolentlythatmyheadwasdashedagainstthecarriagewindow，whichitshiveredtofragments。Mengsorderedthecoachmantodrivehome，andIwasputtobed。InfourhoursIwasseizedwithasweatingfit，whichlastedfortenortwelvehours。Thebedandtwomattressesweresoakedthroughwithmyperspiration，whichdrippedontothefloorbeneath。Thefeverabatedinforty—eighthours，butleftmeinsuchastateofweaknessthatIwaskepttomybedforawholeweek，andcouldnotgotoAranjueztillHolySaturday。Theambassadorwelcomedmewarmly，butonthenightIarrivedasmalllumpwhichIhadfeltinthecourseofthedaygrewaslargeasanegg，andIwasunabletogotomassonEasterDay。
Infivedaystheexcrescencebecameaslargeasanaveragemelon，muchtotheamazementofManucciandtheambassador，andevenoftheking’ssurgeon，aFrenchmanwhodeclaredhehadneverseenthelikebefore。I
wasnotalarmedpersonally，for，asIsufferednopainandthelumpwasquitesoft，Iguesseditwasonlyacollectionoflymph，theremainderoftheevilhumourswhichIhadsweatedawayinthefever。Itoldthesurgeonthehistoryofthefeverandbeggedhimtolancetheabscess，whichhedid，andforfourdaystheopeningdischargedanalmostincredibleamountofmatter。Onthefifthdaythewoundwasalmosthealed，buttheexhaustionhadleftmesoweakthatIcouldnotleavemybed。
SuchwasmysituationwhenIreceivedaletterfromMengs。Itisbeforemeatthepresentmoment，andIgivebelowatruecopy:
\"YesterdaytherectoroftheparishinwhichIresideaffixedtothechurch—dooralistofthoseofhisparishionerswhoareAtheistsandhaveneglectedtheirEasterduties。Amongstthemyournamefiguresinfull，andtheaforesaidrectorhasreproachedmebitterlyforharbouringaheretic。Ididnotknowwhatanswertomake，forIfeelsurethatyoucouldhavestoppedinMadridadaylongertodischargethedutiesofaChristian，evenifitwereonlyoutofregardforme。ThedutyIowetotheking，mymaster，thecareIamboundtotakeofmyreputation，andmyfearsofbeingmolested，allmakemerequestyoutolookuponmyhouseasyoursnolonger。WhenyoureturntoMadridyoumaygowhereyouwill，andmyservantsshalltransportyoureffectstoyournewabode。
\"Iam，etc。，\"ANTONIORAPHAELMENGS。\"
Iwassoannoyedbythisrude，brutal，andungratefulletter，thatifI
hadnotbeensevenleaguesfromMadrid，andinastateoftheutmostweakness，Mengsshouldhavesufferedforhisinsolence。Itoldthemessengerwhohadbroughtittobegone，butherepliedthathehadorderstoawaitmyreply。Icrushedtheletterinmyhandandflungitathisface，saying，——
\"GoandtellyourunworthymasterwhatIdidwithhisletter，andtellhimthatistheonlyanswerthatsuchaletterdeserves。\"
Theinnocentmessengerwenthiswayingreatamazement。
Myangergavemestrength，andhavingdressedmyselfandsummonedasedan—chairIwenttochurch，andwasconfessedbyaGreyFriar，andatsixo’clockthenextmorningIreceivedtheSacrament。
MyconfessorwaskindenoughtogivemeacertificatetotheeffectthatIhadbeenobligedtokeepmybedsincemyarrival’alsitio’，andthatinspiteofmyextremeweaknessIhadgonetochurch，andhadconfessedandcommunicatedlikeagoodChristian。Healsotoldmethenameofthepriestwhohadaffixedthepapercontainingmynametothedoorofthechurch。
WhenIreturnedtotheambassador’shouseIwrotetothispriest，tellinghimthatthecertificateenclosedwouldinformhimastomyreasonsfornotcommunicating。Iexpressedahopethat，beingsatisfiedofmyorthodoxy，hewouldnotdelayinremovingmynamefromhischurch—doors，andIconcludedbybegginghimtohandtheenclosedlettertotheChevalierMengs。
TothepainterIwrotethatIfeltthatIhaddeservedtheshamefulinsulthehadgivenmebymygreatmistakeinaccedingtohisrequesttohonourhimbystayinginhishouse。However，asagoodChristianwhohadjustreceivedtheHolyCommunion，Itoldhimthathisbrutalbehaviourwasforgiven；butIbadehimtotaketohearttheline，wellknowntoallhonestpeople，anddoubtlessunknowntohim:
’Turpiusejiciturquamnonadmittiturhospes。’
AftersendingtheletterItoldtheambassadorwhathadhappened，towhichhereplied，——
\"Iamnotatallsurprisedatwhatyoutellme。Mengsisonlylikedforhistalentsinpainting；ineverythingelseheiswellknowntobelittlebetterthanafool。\"
Asamatteroffacthehadonlyaskedmetostaywithhimtogratifyhisownvanity。HeknewthatallthetownwastalkingofmyimprisonmentandofthesatisfactiontheCountofArandahadaccordedme，andhewantedpeopletothinkthathisinfluencehadobtainedthefavourthathadbeenshewnme。Indeed，hehadsaidinamomentofexaltationthatIshouldhavecompelledtheAlcadeMessatoescortmenottomyownhousebuttohis，asitwasinhishousethatIhadbeenarrested。
Mengswasanexceedinglyambitiousandaveryjealousman；hehatedallhisbrotherpainters。Hiscolouranddesignwereexcellent，buthisinventionwasveryweak，andinventionisasnecessarytoagreatpainterasagreatpoet。
Ihappenedtosaytohimoneday，\"Justaseverypoetshouldbeapainter，soeverypaintershouldbeapoet；\"andhegotquiteangry，thinkingthatIwasalludingtohisweaknessofimagination，whichhefeltbutwouldnotacknowledge。
Hewasanignorantman，andlikedtopassforascholar；hesacrificedtoBacchusandComus，andwouldfainbethoughtsober；hewaslustful，bad—
tempered，envious，andmiserly，butyetwouldbeconsideredavirtuousman。Helovedhardwork，andthisforcedhimtoabstain，asarule，fromdinner，ashedranksoinordinatelyatthatmealthathecoulddonothingafterit。Whenhedinedouthehadtodrinknothingbutwater，soasnottocompromisehisreputationfortemperance。Hespokefourlanguages，andallbadly，andcouldnotevenwritehisnativetonguewithcorrectness；andyetheclaimedperfectionforhisgrammarandorthography，asforallhisotherqualities。WhileIwasstayingwithhimIbecameacquaintedwithsomeofhisweakpoints，andendeavouredtocorrectthem，atwhichhetookgreatoffence。Thefellowwrithedunderasenseofobligationtome。OnceIpreventedhissendingapetitiontotheCourt，whichthekingwouldhaveseen，andwhichwouldhavemadeMengsridiculous。Insigninghisnamehehadwritten’elmasinclito’，wishingtosayyourmosthumble。Ipointedouttohimthat’elmasinclito’meantthemostillustrious，andthattheSpanishfortheexpressionhewantedwas’elmashumilde’。Theproudfoolwasquiteenraged，tellingmethatheknewSpanishbetterthanI，butwhenthedictionarywassearchedhehadtoswallowthebitterpillofconfessinghimselfinthewrong。
AnothertimeIsuppressedaheavyandstupidcriticismofhisonsomeonewhohadmaintainedthattherewerenomonumentsstillexistingoftheantediluvianperiod。MengsthoughthewouldconfoundtheauthorbycitingtheremainsoftheTowerofBabel——adoublepieceoffolly，forinthefirstplacetherearenosuchremains，andinthesecond，theTowerofBabelwasapost—diluvianbuilding。
Hewasalsolargelygiventothediscussionofmetaphysicalquestions，onwhichhisknowledgewassimplynil，andafavouritepursuitofhiswasdefiningbeautyintheabstract，andwhenhewasonthistopicthenonsensehetalkedwassomethingdreadful。
Mengswasaverypassionateman，andwouldsometimesbeathischildrenmostcruelly。MorethanonceIhaverescuedhispoorsonsfromhisfurioushands。Heboastedthathisfather，abadBohemianartist，hadbroughthimupwiththestick。Thus，hesaid，hehadbecomeagreatpainter，andhewishedhisownchildrentoenjoythesameadvantages。
Hewasdeeplyoffendedwhenhereceivedaletter，ofwhichtheaddressomittedhistitleofchevalier，andhisname，Rafael。OnedayIventuredtosaythatthesethingswerebuttriflesafterall，andthatIhadtakennooffenceathisomittingthechevalieronthelettershehadwrittentome，thoughIwasaknightofthesameorderashimself。Heverywiselymadenoanswer；buthisobjectiontotheomissionofhisbaptismalnamewasaveryridiculousone。HesaidhewascalledAntonioafterAntonioCorreggio，andRafaelafterRafaeldaUrbino，andthatthosewhoomittedthesenames，oreitherofthem，implicitlydeniedhispossessionofthequalitiesofboththesegreatpainters。
OnceIdaredtotellhimthathehadmadeamistakeinthehandofoneofhisfigures，astheringfingerwasshorterthantheindex。Herepliedsharplythatitwasquiteright，andshewedmehishandbywayofproof。
Ilaughed，andshewedhimmyhandinreturn，sayingthatIwascertainthatmyhandwasmadelikethatofallthedescendantsofAdam。
\"ThenwhomdoyouthinkthatIamdescendedfrom？\"
\"Idon’tknow，butyouarecertainlynotofthesamespeciesasmyself。\"
\"Youmeanyouarenotofmyspecies；allwell—madehandsofmen，andwomentoo，arelikemineandnotlikeyours。\"
\"I’llwagerahundreddoubloonsthatyouareinthewrong。\"
Hegotup，threwdownbrushesandpalette，andranguphisservants，saying，——
\"Weshallseewhichisright。\"
Theservantscame，andonexaminationhefoundthatIwasright。Foronceinhislife，helaughedandpasseditoffasajoke，saying，——
\"IamdelightedthatIcanboastofbeinguniqueinoneparticular，atallevents。\"
HereImustnoteanotherverysensibleremarkofhis。
HehadpaintedaMagdalen，whichwasreallywonderfullybeautiful。Fortendayshehadsaideverymorning，\"Thepicturewillbefinishedto—
night。\"AtlastItoldhimthathehadmadeamistakeinsayingitwouldbefinished，ashewasstillworkingonit。
\"No，Ihavenot，\"hereplied，\"ninety—nineconnoisseursoutofahundredwouldhavepronounceditfinishedlongago，butIwantthepraiseofthehundredthman。There’snotapictureintheworldthatcanbecalledfinishedsaveinarelativesense；thisMagdalenwillnotbefinishedtillIstopworkingatit，andthenitwillbeonlyfinishedrelatively，forifIweretogiveanotherday’sworktoititwouldbemorefinishedstill。NotoneofPetrarch’ssonnetsisareallyfinishedproduction；
no，noranyotherman’ssonnets。Nothingthatthemindofmancanconceiveisperfect，saveitbeamathematicaltheorem。\"
Iexpressedmywarmapprovaloftheexcellentwayinwhichhehadspoken。
HewasnotsosensibleanothertimewhenheexpressedawishtohavebeenRaphael。
\"Hewassuchagreatpainter。\"
\"Certainly，\"saidI，\"butwhatcanyoumeanbywishingyouhadbeenRaphael？Thisisnotsense；ifyouhadbeenRaphael，youwouldnolongerbeexisting。ButperhapsyouonlymeanttoexpressawishthatyouweretastingthejoysofParadise；inthatcaseIwillsaynomore。\"
\"No，no；ImeanIwouldhavelikedtohavebeenRaphaelwithouttroublingmyselfaboutexistingnow，eitherinsoulorbody。\"
\"Reallysuchadesireisanabsurdity；thinkitover，andyouwillseeitforyourself。\"
Heflewintoarage，andabusedmesoheartilythatIcouldnothelplaughing。
Anothertimehemadeacomparisonbetweenatragicauthorandapainter，ofcoursetotheadvantageofthelatter。
Ianalysedthemattercalmly，shewinghimthatthepainter’slabouristoagreatextentpurelymechanical，andcanbedonewhilstengagedincasualtalk；whilstawell—writtentragedyistheworkofgeniuspureandsimple。Therefore，thepoetmustbeimmeasurablysuperiortothepainter。
\"Findmeifyoucan，\"saidI，\"apoetwhocanorderhissupperbetweenthelinesofhistragedy，ordiscusstheweatherwhilstheiscomposingepicverses。\"
WhenMengswasbeateninanargument，insteadofacknowledginghisdefeat，heinvariablybecamebrutalandinsulting。Hediedattheageoffifty，andisregardedbyposterityasaStoicphilosopher，ascholar，andacompendiumofallthevirtues；andthisopinionmustbeascribedtoafinebiographyofhiminroyalquarto，choicelyprinted，anddedicatedtotheKingofSpain。Thispanegyricisameretissueoflies。Mengswasagreatpainter，andnothingelse；andifhehadonlyproducedthesplendidpicturewhichhangsoverthehighaltarofthechapelroyalatDresden，hewoulddeserveeternalfame，thoughindeedheisindebtedtothegreatRaphaelfortheideaofthepainting。
WeshallhearmoreofMengswhenIdescribemymeetingwithhimatRome，twoorthreeyearslater。
IwasstillweakandconfinedtomyroomwhenManuccicametome，andproposedthatIshouldgowithhimtoToledo。
\"Theambassador，\"hesaid，\"isgoingtogiveagrandofficialdinnertotheambassadorsoftheotherpowers，andasIhavenotbeenpresentedatCourtIamexcludedfrombeingpresent。However，ifItravel，myabsencewillnotgiverisetoanyremarks。Weshallbebackinfiveorsixdays。\"
IwasdelightedtohavethechanceofseeingToledo，andofmakingthejourneyinacomfortablecarriage，soIaccepted。Westartedthenextmorning，andreachedToledointheeveningofthesameday。ForSpainwewerelodgedcomfortablyenough，andthenextdaywewentoutunderthechargeofacicerone，whotookustotheAlcazar，theLouvreofToledo，formerlythepalaceoftheMoorishkings。Afterwardsweinspectedthecathedral，whichiswellworthyofavisit，onaccountoftherichesitcontains。IsawthegreattabernacleusedonCorpusChristi。Itismadeofsilver，andissoheavythatitrequiresthirtystrongmentoliftit。
TheArchbishopofToledohasthreehundredthousanddurosayear，andhisclergyhavefourhundredthousand，amountingtotwomillionfrancsinFrenchmoney。Oneofthecanons，ashewasshewingmetheurnscontainingtherelics，toldmethatoneofthemcontainedthethirtypiecesofsilverforwhichJudasbetrayedourLord。Ibeggedhimtoletmeseethem，towhichherepliedseverelythatthekinghimselfwouldnothavedaredtoexpresssuchindecentcuriosity。
Ihastenedtoapologise，begginghimnottotakeoffenceatastranger’sheedlessquestions；andthisseemedtocalmhisanger。
TheSpanishpriestsareabandofknaves，butonehastotreatthemwithmorerespectthanonewouldpaytohonestmenelsewhere。Thefollowingdaywewereshewnthemuseumofnaturalhistory。Itwasratheradullexhibition；but，atallevents，onecouldlaughatitwithoutexcitingthewrathofthemonksandtheterrorsoftheInquisition。Wewereshewn，amongstotherwonders，astuffeddragon，andthemanwhoexhibiteditsaid，——
\"Thisproves，gentlemen，thatthedragonisnotafabulousanimal；\"butI
thoughttherewasmoreofartthannatureaboutthebeast。Hethenshewedusabasilisk，butinsteadofslayinguswithaglanceitonlymadeuslaugh。Thegreatestwonderofall，however，wasnothingelsethanaFreemason’sapron，which，asthecuratorverysagelydeclared，provedtheexistenceofsuchanorder，whateversomemightsay。
Thejourneyrestoredmetohealth，andwhenIreturnedtoAranjuez，I
proceededtopaymycourttoalltheministers。TheambassadorpresentedmetoMarquisGrimaldi，withwhomIhadsomeconversationsonthesubjectoftheSwisscolony，whichwasgoingonbadly。IreiteratedmyopinionthatthecolonyshouldbecomposedofSpaniards。
\"Yes，\"saidhe，\"butSpainisthinlypeopledeverywhere，andyourplanwouldamounttoimpoverishingonedistricttomakeanotherrich。\"
\"Notatall，forifyoutooktenpersonswhoaredyingofpovertyintheAsturias，andplacedthemintheSierraMorena，theywouldnotdietilltheyhadbegottenfiftychildren。Thisfiftywouldbegettwohundredandsoon。\"
Myschemewaslaidbeforeacommission，andthemarquispromisedthatI
shouldbemadegovernorofthecolonyiftheplanwasaccepted。
AnItalianOperaComiquewasthenamusingtheCourt，withtheexceptionoftheking，whohadnotasteformusic。Hismajestyboreaconsiderableresemblancetoasheepintheface，anditseemedasifthelikenesswentdeeper，forsheephavenottheslightestideaofsound。Hisfavouritepursuitwassport，andthereasonwillbegivenlateron。
AnItalianmusicianattheCourtdesiredtocomposesomemusicforanewopera，andastherewasnotimetosendtoItalyIofferedtocomposethelibretto。Myofferwasaccepted，andbythenextdaythefirstactwasready。Themusicwascomposedinfourdays，andtheVenetianambassadorinvitedalltheministerstotherehearsalinthegrandhallofhispalace。Themusicwaspronouncedexquisite；thetwootheractswerewritten，andinafortnighttheoperawasputuponthestage。Themusicianwasrewardedhandsomely，butIwasconsideredtoograndtoworkformoneyandmyrewardwaspaidmeintheCourtmoneyofcompliments。
However，Iwasgladtoseethattheambassadorwasproudofmeandthattheminister’sesteemformeseemedincreased。
InwritingthelibrettoIhadbecomeacquaintedwiththeactresses。ThechiefofthemwasaRomannamedPelliccia，neitherprettynorugly，withaslightsquint，andbutmoderatetalents。Heryoungersisterwasprettyifnothandsome；butnoonecaredfortheyounger，whiletheelderwasauniversalfavourite。Herexpressionwaspleasant，hersmiledelightful，andhermannersmostcaptivating。Herhusbandwasanindifferentpainter，plain—looking，andmorelikeherservantthanherhusband。Hewasindeedherveryhumbleservant，andshetreatedhimwithgreatkindness。Thefeelingssheinspiredmewithwerenotlove，butasincererespectandfriendship。Iusedtovisithereveryday，andwroteversesforhertosingtotheRomanairsshedeliveredsogracefully。
OnoneofthedaysofrehearsalsIwaspointingouttoherthevariousgreatpersonageswhowerepresent。Themanagerofthecompany，Marescalchibyname，hadenteredintoanarrangementwiththeGovernorofValentiatobringthecompanythereinSeptembertoplaycomicoperainasmalltheatrewhichhadbeenbuiltonpurpose。ItalianoperahadhithertoneverbeenpresentedatValentia，andMarecalchihopedtomakeagooddealofmoneythere。MadamePellicciaknewnobodyinValentia，andwantedaletterofintroductiontosomeonethere。SheaskedmeifI
thoughtshecouldventuretoasktheVenetianambassadortodoherthefavour，butIadvisedhertotrytheDukeofArcos。
\"Whereishe？\"
\"Thatgentlemanwhoislookinginyourdirectionnow。\"
\"HowcanIdaretoaskhim？\"
\"Heisatruenobleman，andIamsurehewillbeonlytoohappytoobligeyou。Goandaskhimnow；youwillnotbedenied。\"
\"Ihaven’tthecouragetodoso。Comewithmeandintroduceme。\"
\"Thatwouldspoileverything；hemustnoteventhinkthatIamyouradviserinthematter。Iamjustgoingtoleaveyou；youmustmakeyourrequestdirectlyafterwards。\"
Iwalkedtowardstheorchestra，andlookingroundIsawthatthedukewasapproachingtheactress。
\"Thething’sasgoodasdone，\"Isaidtomyself。
AftertherehearsalwasoverMadamePellicciacameandtoldmethattheDukewouldgivehertheletteronthedayonwhichtheoperawasproduced。Hekepthisword，andshereceivedasealedletterforamerchantandbanker，DonDiegoValencia。
ItwasthenMay，andshewasnottogotoValentiatillSeptember，soweshallhearwhatthelettercontainedlateron。
Ioftensawtheking’sgentlemanofthechamber，DonDomingoVarnier，another’gentlemanintheserviceofthePrincessoftheAsturias，andoneoftheprincess’sbed—chamberwomen。Thismostpopularprincesssucceededinsuppressingagooddealoftheoldetiquette，andthetoneofherCourthadlosttheairofsolemnitycommoninSpanishsociety。ItwasastrangethingtoseetheKingofSpainalwaysdiningateleveno’clock，liketheParisiancordwainersintheseventeenthcentury。Hismealalwaysconsistedofthesamedishes，healwayswentouthuntingatthesamehour，comingbackintheeveningthoroughlyfatigued。
Thekingwasugly，buteverythingisrelative，hewashandsomecomparedwithhisbrother，whowasterrificallyugly。
ThisbrotherneverwentanywherewithoutapictureoftheVirgin，whichMengshadpaintedforhim。Itwastwofeethighbythreeandahalfbroad。ThefigurewasdepictedasseatedonthegrasswithlegscrossedaftertheEasternfashion，anduncovereduptotheknees。Itwas，inreality，avoluptuouspainting；andtheprincemistookfordevotionthatwhichwasreallyasinfulpassion，foritwasimpossibletolookuponthefigurewithoutdesiringtohavetheoriginalwithinone’sarms。However，theprincedidnotseethis，andwasdelightedtofindhimselfinlovewiththemotheroftheSaviour。InthishewasatrueSpaniard；theyonlylovepicturesofthiskind，andinterpretthepassionstheyexciteinthemostfavourablesense。
AtMadridIhad，seenapictureoftheMadonnawiththechildatherbreast。ItwasthealtarpieceofachapelintheCalleSt。Jeronimo。
Theplacewasfilledalldaybythedevout，whocametoadoretheMotherofGod，whosefigurewasonlyinterestingbyreasonofhermagnificentbreast。Thealmsgivenatthischapelweresonumerous，thatinthehundredandfiftyyears，sincethepicturehadbeenplacedthere，theclergyhadbeenabletopurchasenumerouslampsandcandlesticksofsilver，andvesselsofsilvergilt，andevenofgold。Thedoorwaywasalwaysblockedbycarriages，andasentinelwasplacedtheretokeeporderamongstthecoachmen；nonoblemanwouldpassbywithoutgoingintopraytotheVirgin，andtocontemplatethose’beataubera，quaelactaveruntaeternipatrisfilium’。Buttherecameachange。
WhenIreturnedtoMadridIwantedtopayavisittotheAbbePico，andtoldmycoachmantotakeanotherwaysoastoavoidthecrushinfrontofthechapel。
\"Itisnotsofrequentednow，senor，\"saidhe，\"Icaneasilygetbyit。\"
Hewentonhisway，andIfoundtheentrancetothechapeldeserted。AsIwasgettingoutofthecarriageIaskedmycoachmanwhatwasthereasonofthechange，andhereplied，——
\"Oh，senor！menaregettingmorewickedeveryday，\"
Thisreasondidnotsatisfyme，andwhenIhadtakenmychocolatewiththeabbe，anintelligentandvenerableoldman，Iaskedhimwhythechapelinquestionhadlostitsreputation。
Heburstoutlaughing，andreplied，——
\"Excuseme，Ireallycannottellyou。Goandseeforyourself；yourcuriositywillsoonbesatisfied。\"
AssoonasIlefthimIwenttothechapel，andthestateofthepicturetoldmeall。ThebreastoftheVirginhaddisappearedunderakerchiefwhichsomeprofanebrushhaddaredtopaintoverit。Thebeautifulpicturewasspoilt；themagicandfascinationhaddisappeared。Eventheteathadbeenpaintedout；theChildheldontonothing，andtheheadoftheVirginnolongerappearednatural。
ThisdisasterhadtakenplaceattheendoftheCarnivalof1768。Theoldchaplaindied，andtheVandalwhosucceededhimpronouncedthepaintingtobeascandalousone，androbbeditofallitscharm。
Hemayhavebeenintherightasafool，butasaChristianandaSpaniardhewascertainlyinthewrong，andhewasprobablysoonconvincedofthemistakehehadmadebythediminutionintheofferingsofthefaithful。
Myinterestinthestudyofhumannaturemademecallonthispriest，whomIexpectedtofindastupidoldman。
Iwentonemorning，butinsteadofbeingold，thepriestwasanactive，clever—lookingmanofthirty，whoimmediatelyofferedmechocolatewiththebestgraceimaginable。Irefused，aswasmydutyasastranger，andindeedtheSpaniardsoffervisitorschocolatesofrequentlyatallhours，thatifoneaccepteditallonewouldbechoked。
Ilostnotimeinexordiums，butcametothepointatonce，bysayingthatasaloverofpaintingsIhadbeengrievedatfindingthemagnificentMadonnaspoilt。
\"Verylikely，\"hereplied，\"butitwasexactlythephysicalbeautyofthepicturethatrendereditinmyeyesunfittorepresentonewhoseaspectshouldpurifyandpurgethesenses，insteadofexcitingthem。Letallthepicturesintheworldbedestroyed，iftheybefoundtohavecausedthecommissionofonemortalsin。\"
\"Whoallowedyoutocommitthismutilation？TheVenetianStateInquisitors，evenM。Barberigo，thoughheisadevoutman，wouldhaveputyouundertheLeadsforsuchadeed。TheloveofParadiseshouldnotbeallowedtointerferewiththefinearts，andIamsurethatSt。Lukehimself（whowasapainter，asyouknow）wouldcondemnyouifhecouldcometolifeagain。\"
\"Sir，Ineedednoone’sleaveorlicense。Ihavetosaymassatthataltareveryday，andIamnotashamedtotellyouthatIwasunabletoconsecrate。YouareamanandaChristian，youcanexcusemyweakness。
Thatvoluptuouspicturedrewawaymythoughtsfromholythings。\"
\"Whoobligedyoutolookatit？\"
\"Ididnotlookatit；thedevil，theenemyofGod，mademeseeitinspiteofmyself。\"
\"ThenyoushouldhavemutilatedyourselflikeOrigen。Yourgenerativeorgans，believeme，arenotsovaluableasthepictureyouhaveruined。\"
\"Sir，youinsultme。\"
\"Notatall，Ihavenointentionofdoingso。\"
ThatyoungpriestshewedmethedoorwithsuchbrusquenessthatIfeltsurehewouldinformagainstmetotheInquisition。Iknewhewouldhavenodifficultyinfindingoutmyname，soIresolvedtobebeforehandwithhim。
BothmyfearandmyresolvewereinspiredbyanincidentwhichIshallmentionasanepisode。
Afewdaysbefore，IhadmetaFrenchmannamedSegur，whohadjustcomeoutoftheprisonsoftheInquisition。Hehadbeenshutupforthreeyearsforcommittingthefollowingcrime:
Inthehallofhishousetherewasafountain，composedofamarblebasinandthestatueofanakedchild，whodischargedthewaterinthesamewayasthewell—knownstatueofBrussels，thatistosay，byhisvirilemember。ThechildmightbeaCupidoranInfantJesus，asyoupleased，butthesculptorhadadornedtheheadwithakindofaureole；andsothefanaticsdeclaredthatitwasamockingofGod。
PoorSegurwasaccusedofimpiety，andtheInquisitiondealtwithhimaccordingly。
IfeltthatmyfaultmightbeadjudgedasgreatasSegur’s，andnotcaringtoruntheriskofalikepunishmentIcalledonthebishop，whoheldtheofficeofGrandInquisitor，andtoldhimwordforwordtheconversationIhadhadwiththeiconoclastchaplain。Iendedbycravingpardon，ifIhadoffendedthechaplain，asIwasagoodChristian，andorthodoxonallpoints。
IhadneverexpectedtofindtheGrandInquisitorofMadridakindlyandintelligent，thoughill—favoured，prelate；butsoitwas，andhedidnothingbutlaughfromthebeginningtotheendofmystory，forhewouldnotletmecallitaconfession。
\"Thechaplain，\"hesaid，\"ishimselfblameworthyandunfitforhisposition，inthathehasadjudgedotherstobeasweakashimself；infact，hehascommittedawrongagainstreligion。Nevertheless，mydearson，itwasnotwiseofyoutogoandirritatehim。\"
AsIhadtoldhimmynameheshewedme，smilingly，anaccusationagainstme，drawnupbysomeonewhohadwitnessedthefact。Thegoodbishopgentlychidmeforhavingcalledthefriar—confessoroftheDukeofMedinaanignoramus。Hehadrefusedtoadmitthatapriestmightsaymassasecondtimeonahighfestival，afterbreakinghisfast，onthecommandofhissovereignprince，who，bythehypothesis，hadnotheardmassbefore。
\"Youwerequiterightinyourcontention，\"saidtheInquisitor，\"butyeteverytruthisnotgoodtoutter，anditwaswrongtocallthemananignoramusinhispresence。Forthefutureyouwoulddowelltoavoidallidlediscussiononreligiousmatters，bothondogmaanddiscipline。AndImustalsotellyou，inorderthatyoumaynotleaveSpainwithanyharshideasontheInquisition，thatthepriestwhoaffixedyournametothechurch—dooramongsttheexcommunicatedhasbeenseverelyreprimanded。
Heoughttohavegivenyouafatherlyadmonition，and，aboveall，enquiredastoyourhealth，asweknowthatyouwereseriouslyillatthetime。\"
ThereuponIkneltdownandkissedhishand，andwentmyway，wellpleasedwithmycall。
TogobacktoAranjuez。AssoonasIheardthattheambassadorcouldnotputmeupatMadrid，Iwrotetotheworthycobbler，DonDiego，thatI
wantedawell—furnishedroom，acloset，agoodbed，andanhonestservant。IinformedhimhowmuchIwaswillingtospendamonth，andsaidIwouldleaveAranjuezassoonasIheardthateverythingwasready。
IwasagooddealoccupiedwiththequestionofcolonisingtheSierraMorena；Iwroteprincipallyonthesubjectofthecivilgovernment，amostimportantiteminaschemeforanewcolony。MyarticlespleasedtheMarquisGrimaldiandflatteredMocenigo；forthelatterhopedthatI
shouldbecomegovernorofthecolony，andthathisembassywouldtherebyshinewithaborrowedlight。
Mylaboursdidnotpreventmyamusingmyself，andIfrequentedthesocietyofthoseabouttheCourtwhocouldtellmemostofthekingandroyalfamily。DonVarnier，amanofmuchfranknessandintelligence，wasmyprincipalsourceofinformation。
IaskedhimonedaywhetherthekingwasfondofGregorioSquillaceonlybecausehehadbeenoncehiswife’slover。
\"That’sanidlecalumny，\"hereplied。\"Iftheepithetof’chaste’canbeappliedtoanymonarch，CharlesIII。certainlydeservesitbetterthananyother。Hehasnevertouchedanywomaninhislifeexcepthiswife，notonlyoutofrespectorthesanctityofmarriage，butalsoasagoodChristian。Hehasavoidedthissinthathissoulmayremainpure，andsoasnottohavetheshameofconfessingittohischaplain。Heenjoysanironconstitution，sicknessisunknowntohim，andheisathoroughSpaniardintemperament。Eversincehismarriagehehaspaidhisdutytohiswifeeveryday，exceptwhenthestateofherhealthcompelledhertocallforatruce。Insuchseasonsthischastehusbandbroughtdownhisfleshlydesiresbythefatigueofhuntingandbyabstinence。Youcanimaginehisdistressatbeingleftawidower，forhewouldratherdiethantakeamistress。Hisonlyresourcewasinhunting，andinsoplanningouthisdaythatheshouldhavenotimeleftwhereintothinkofwomen。Itwasadifficultmatter，forhecaresneitherforreadingnorwriting，musicwearieshim，andconversationofalivelyturninspireshimwithdisgust。
\"Hehasadoptedthefollowingplan，inwhichhewillpreservetillhisdyingday:Hedressesatseven，thengoesintohisclosetandhashishairdressed。Ateighto’clockhesayshisprayers，thenhearsmass，andwhenthisisoverhetakeschocolateandanenormouspinchofsnuff，overwhichhisbignoseruminatesforsomeminutes；thisishisonlypinchinthewholeday。Atnineo’clockheseeshisministers，andworkswiththemtilleleven。Thencomesdinner，whichhealwaystakesalone，thenashortvisittothePrincessoftheAusturias，andattwelvesharphegetsintohiscarriageanddrivestothehunting—grounds。Atseveno’clockhetakesamorselwhereverhehappenstobe，andateighto’clockhecomeshome，sotiredthatheoftengoestosleepbeforehecangethisclothesoff。Thushekeepsdownthedesiresoftheflesh。\"
\"Poorvoluntarymartyr！\"
\"Hethoughtofmarryingasecondtime，butwhenAdelaideofFrancesawhisportraitshewasquitefrightenedandrefusedhim。Hewasverymortified，andrenouncedallthoughtsofmarriage；andwoetothecourtierwhoshouldadvisehimtogetamistress！\"
InfurtherspeakingofhischaracterDonDomingotoldmethattheministershadgoodcauseformakinghiminaccessible，aswheneveranyonedidsucceedingettingathimandaskedafavour，hemadeapointofgrantingit，asitwasatsuchtimesthathefelthimselfreallyaking。
\"Thenheisnotahardman，assomesay？\"
\"Notatall。Kingsseldomhavethereputationtheydeserve。Themostaccessiblemonarchsaretheleastgenerous；theyareoverwhelmedwithimportunaterequests，andtheirfirstinstinctisalwaystorefuse。\"
\"ButasCharlesIII。issoinaccessiblehecanhavenoopportunityofeithergrantingorrefusing。\"
\"Peoplecatchhimwhenheishunting；heisusuallyinagoodhumourthen。Hischiefdefectishisobstinacy；whenhehasoncemadeuphismindthereisnochangingit。
\"Hehasthegreatestlikingforhisbrother，andcanscarcerefusehimanything，thoughhemustbemasterinallthings。Itisthoughthewillgivehimleavetomarryforthesakeofhissalvation；thekinghasthegreatesthorrorofillegitimatechildren，andhisbrotherhasthreealready。\"
TherewereanimmensenumberofpersonsatAranjuez，whopersecutedtheministersinthehopeofgettingemployment。
\"Theywillgobackastheycome，\"saidDonDomingo，\"andthatisempty—
handed。\"
\"Thentheyaskimpossibilities？\"
\"Theydon’taskanything。’Whatdoyouwant？’saysaminister。
\"’Whatyourexcellencywillletmehave。’
\"’Whatcanyoudo？’
\"’Iamreadytodowhateveryourexcellencypleasestothinkbestforme’
\"’Pleaseleaveme。Ihavenotimetowaste。’\"
Thatisalwaystheway。CharlesIII。diedamadman；theQueenofPortugalismad；theKingofEnglandhasbeenmad，and，assomesay，isnotreallycured。Thereisnothingastonishinginit；akingwhotriestodohisdutyisalmostforcedintomadnessbyhisenormoustask。
ItookleaveofM。MocenigothreedaysbeforeheleftAranjuez，andI
embracedManucciaffectionately。Hehadbeenmostkindtomethroughoutmystay。
MycobblerhadwrittentotellmethatforthesumIhadmentionedhecouldprovidemewithaBiscayanmaidwhocouldcook。HesentmetheaddressofmynewlodgingintheCalleAlcala。Iarrivedthereintheafternoon，havingstartedfromAranjuezinthemorning。
IfoundthattheBiscayanmaidcouldspeakFrench；myroomwasaverypleasantone，withanotherchamberannexedwhereIcouldlodgeafriend。
AfterIhadhadmyeffectscarriedupIsawmyman，whosefacepleasedme。
Iwasanxioustotesttheskillofmycook，soIorderedhertogetagoodsupperforme，andIgavehersomemoney。
\"Ihavesomemoney，\"shereplied，\"andIwillletyouhavethebillto—
morrow。\"
AftertakingawaywhateverIhadleftwithMengsIwenttoDonDiego’shouse，andtomyastonishmentfounditempty。IwentbackandaskedPhilippe，myman，whereDonDiegowasstaying。
\"It’ssomedistance，sir；Iwilltakeyoutheretomorrow。\"
\"Whereismylandlord？\"
\"Inthefloorabove；buttheyareveryquietpeople。\"
\"Ishouldliketoseehim。\"
\"Heisgoneoutandwon’tbehometillten。\"
Atnineo’clockIwastoldthatmysupperwasready。Iwasveryhungry，andtheneatnesswithwhichthetablewaslaidwasapleasantsurpriseinSpain。IwassorrythatIhadhadnoopportunityofexpressingmysatisfactiontoDonDiego，butIsatdowntosupper。ThenindeedI
thoughtthecobblerahero；theBiscayanmaidmighthaveenteredintorivalrywiththebestcookinFrance。Therewerefivedishes，includingmyfavouritedelicacy’lascriadillas’，andeverythingwasexquisite。Mylodgingwasdearenough，butthecookmadethewholearrangementawonderfulbargain。
TowardstheendofsupperPhilippetoldmethatthelandlordhadcomein，andthatwithmyleavehewouldwishmeagoodevening。
\"Shewhiminbyallmeans。\"
IsawDonDiegoandhischarmingdaughterenter；hehadrentedthehouseonpurposetobemylandlord。
CHAPTERVI
MyAmoursWithDonnaIgnazia——ReturnofM。deMoceninotoMadridAllyoubarons，counts，andmarquiseswholaughatanuntitledmanwhocallshimselfagentleman，pauseandreflect，spareyourdisdaintillyouhavedegradedhim；allowhimagentletitlesolongashedoesgentledeeds。Respectthemanthatdefinesnobilityinanewway，whichyoucannotunderstand。Withhimnobilityisnotaseriesofdescentsfromfathertoson；helaughsatpedigrees，inwhichnoaccountistakenoftheimpurebloodintroducedbywifelyinfidelities；hedefinesanoblemanasonewhodoesnobledeeds，whoneitherliesnorcheats，whoprefershishonourtohislife。
Thislatterpartofthedefinitionshouldmakeyoutrembleforyourlives，ifyoumeditatehisdishonour。Fromimposturecomescontempt，fromcontempthatred，fromhatredhomicide，whichtakesouttheblotofdishonour。
ThecobblerDonDiegomighthavefeared，perhaps，thatIshouldlaughathim，whenhetoldmehewasnoble；butfeelinghimselftobereallysohehaddonehisbesttoproveittome。ThefinenessofhisbehaviourwhenIwasinprisonhadgivenmesomeideaofthenobilityofhissoul，buthewasnotcontentwiththis。Onthereceiptofmyletter，hehadtakenanewhouseonlytogiveupthebestpartofittome。Nodoubthecalculatedonnotlosinginthelongrun，asafterIhadlefthewouldprobablyhavenodifficultyinlettingtheapartment，buthischiefmotivewastoobligeme。
Hewasnotdisappointed；henceforthItreatedhimentirelyasanequal。
DonnaIgnaziawasdelightedatwhatherfatherhaddoneforme。Wetalkedanhour，settlingourbusinessrelationsoverabottleofexcellentwine。IsucceededinmycontentionthattheBiscayancookshouldbekeptatmyexpense。Allthesame，IwantedthegirltothinkthatshewasinDonDiego’sservice，soIbeggedhimtopayhereveryday，asIshouldtakeallmymealsathome，atallevents，tillthereturnoftheambassador。Ialsotoldhimthatitwasapenancetometoeatalone，andbeggedhimtokeepmecompanyatdinnerandsuppereveryday。Hetriedtoexcusehimself，andatlastgaveinontheconditionthathisdaughtershouldtakehisplacewhenhehadtoomuchworktodo。
AsmaybeimaginedIhadanticipatedthiscondition，andmadenodifficultyaboutit。
Thenextmorning，feelingcurioustoseethewayinwhichmylandlordwaslodged，Ipaidhimavisit。IwentintothelittleroomsacredtoDonnaIgnazia。Abed，achest，andachairmadeupthewholefurniture；butbesidethebedwasadeskbeforeapicture，fourfeethigh，representingSt。IgnatiusdeLoyolaasafineyoungman，morecalculatedtoirritatethesensethantoarousedevotion。
Mycobblersaidtome，\"IhaveamuchbetterlodgingthanIhadbefore；andtherentofyourroompaysmeforthehousefourtimesover。\"
\"Howaboutthefurnitureandthelinen？\"
\"Itwillallbepaidinthecourseoffouryears。Ihopethishousewillbethedowerofmydaughter。Itisanexcellentspeculation，andIhavetothankyouforit。\"
\"Iamgladtohearit；butwhatisthis，youseemtobemakingnewboots？\"
\"Quiteso；butifyoulookyouwillseethatIamworkingonalastwhichhasbeengivenme。InthiswayIhavenottoputthemon，norneedI
troublemyselfwhethertheyfitwellorill。\"
\"Howmuchdoyouget？\"
\"Thirtyreals。\"
\"That’salargerpricethanusual。\"
\"Yes，butthere’sagreatdifferencebetweenmyworkandmyleather，andtheusualworkandleatherofthebootmakers。\"
\"ThenIwillhavealastmade，andyoushallmakemeapairofshoes，ifyouwill；butIwarnyoutheymustbeofthefinestskin，andthesolesofmorocco。\"
\"Theywillcostmore，andnotlastsolong。\"
\"Ican’thelpthat；Ican’tbearanybutthelightestboots。\"
BeforeIlefthimhesaidhisdaughtershoulddinewithmethatdayashewasverybusy。
IcalledontheCountofAranda，whoreceivedmecoldly，butwithgreatpoliteness。ItoldhimhowIhadbeentreatedbymyparishpriestandbyMengs。
\"Iheardaboutit；thiswasworsethanyourimprisonment，andIdon’tknowwhatIcouldhavedoneforyouifyouhadnotcommunicated，andobligedthepriesttotakeoutyourname。Justnowtheyaretryingtoannoymewithpostersonthewalls，butItakenonotice。\"
\"Whatdotheywantyourexcellencytodo？\"
Toallowlongcloaksandlow—crownedhats；youmustknowallaboutit。\"
\"IonlyarrivedatMadridyesterdayevening。\"
\"Verygood。Don’tcomehereonSunday，asmyhouseistobeblownup。\"
\"Ishouldliketoseethat，mylord，soIwillbeinyourhallatnoon。\"
\"Iexpectyouwillbeingoodcompany。\"
Idulywent，andneverhadIseenitsofull。Thecountwasaddressingthecompany，underthelastposterthreateninghimwithdeath，twoveryenergeticlineswereinscribedbythepersonwhoputuptheposter，knowingthathewasatthesametimerunninghisheadintothenoose:
Simecogen，mehorqueran，Peronomecogeran。
\"Iftheycatchme，theywillhangme，SoIshallnotletthemcatchme。\"
AtdinnerDonnaIgnaziatoldmehowgladshewastohavemeinthehouse，butshedidnotrespondtoallmyamorousspeechesafterPhilippehadlefttheroom。Sheblushedandsighed，andthenbeingobligedtosaysomething，beggedmetoforgeteverythingthathadpassedbetweenus。I
smiled，andsaidthatIwassuresheknewshewasaskinganimpossibility。IaddedthatevenifIcouldforgetthepastIwouldnotdoso。
Iknewthatshewasneitherfalsenorhypocritical，andfeltsurethatherbehaviourproceededfromdevotion；butIknewthiscouldnotlastlong。Ishouldhavetoconquerherbyslowdegrees。Ihadhadtodosowithotherdevoteeswhohadlovedmelessthanshe，nevertheless，theyhadcapitulated。IwasthereforesureofDonnaIgnazia。
Afterdinnersheremainedaquarterofanhourwithme，butIrefrainedfromanyamorousattempts。
AftermysiestaIdressed，andwentoutwithoutseeingher。Intheeveningwhenshecameinforherfather，whohadsuppedwithme，I
treatedherwiththegreatestpolitenesswithoutshewinganyill—humour。
ThefollowingdayIbehavedinthesamemanner。AtdinnershetoldmeshehadbrokenwithherloveratthebeginningofLent，andbeggedmenottoseehimifhecalledonme。
OnWhitSundayIcalledontheCountofAranda，andDonDiego，whowasexquisitelydressed，dinedwithme。Isawnothingofhisdaughter。I
askedafterher，andDonDiegoreplied，withasmile，thatshehadshutherselfupinherroomtocelebratetheFeastofPentecost。Hepronouncedthesewordsinamannerandwithasmilethathewouldnothavedaredtouseifhehadbeenspeakingtoafellow—Spaniard。Headdedthatshewould，nodoubt，comedownandsupwithme，ashewasgoingtosupwithhisbrother。
\"MydearDonDiego，don’tlettherebeanyfalsecomplimentsbetweenus。
Beforeyougoout，tellyourdaughternottoputherselfoutforme，andthatIdonotpretendtoputmysocietyincomparisonwiththatofGod。
Tellhertokeepherroomto—night，andshecansupwithmeanothertime。
Ihopeyouwilltakemymessagetoher。\"
\"Asyouwillhaveitso，youshallbeobeyed。\"
Aftermysiesta，theworthymansaidthatDonnaIgnaziathankedmeandwouldprofitbymykindness，asshedidnotwanttoseeanyoneonthatholyday。
\"Iamverygladshehastakenmeatmyword，andto—morrowIwillthankherforit。\"
Ihadsomedifficultyinshapingmylipstothisreply；forthisexcessofdevotiondispleasedme，andevenmademetrembleforherlove。I
couldnothelplaughing，however，whenDonDiegosaidthatawisefatherforgivesanecstasyoflove。IhadnotexpectedsuchaphilosophicremarkfromthemouthofaSpaniard。
Theweatherwasunpleasant，soIresolvedtostayindoors。ItoldPhilippethatIshouldnotwantthecarriage，andthathecouldgoout。
ItoldmyBiscayancookthatIshouldnotsuptillten。WhenIwasaloneIwroteforsometime，andintheeveningthemotherlitmycandles，insteadofthedaughter，sointheendIwenttobedwithoutanysupper。
Atnineo’clocknextmorning，justasIwasawaking，DonnaIgnaziaappeared，tomygreatastonishment，tellingmehowsorryshewastohearthatIhadnottakenanysupper。
\"Alone，sad，andunhappy，\"Ireplied，\"Ifeltthatabstinencewasthebestthingforme。\"
\"Youlookdowncast。\"
\"Youalonecanmakemelookcheerful。\"
Heremybarbercamein，andsheleftme。IthenwenttomassattheChurchoftheGoodSuccess，whereIsawallthehandsomecourtezansinMadrid。IdinedwithDonDiego，andwhenhisdaughtercameinwithdesserthetoldherthatitwasherfaultIhadgonesupperlesstobed。
\"Itshallnothappenagain，\"saidshe。
\"WouldyouliketocomewithmetoourLadyofAtocha？\"saidI。
\"Ishouldlikeitverymuch，\"shereplied，withaside—glanceatherfather。
\"Mygirl，\"saidDonDiego，\"truedevotionandmerrimentgotogether，andthereasonisthatthetrulydevoutpersonhastrustinGodandinthehonestyofallmen。ThusyoucantrustinDonJaimeasanhonestman，thoughhehasnotthegoodfortunetobeborninSpain。\"
Icouldnothelplaughingatthislastsentence，butDonDiegowasnotoffended。DonnaIgnaziakissedherfather’shands，andaskedifshemightbringhercousintoo。
\"Whatdoyouwanttotakethecousinfor？\"saidDonDiego；\"IwillanswerforDonJaime。\"
\"Youareverykind，DonDiego，butifIgnazialikeshercousintocomeI
shallbedelighted，provideditbetheeldercousin，whomIlikebetterthantheyounger。\"
Afterthisarrangementthefatherwenthisway，andIsentPhilippetothestablestoputinfourmules。
WhenwewerealoneIgnaziaaskedmerepentantlytoforgiveher。
\"Entirely，ifyouwillforgivemeforlovingyou。\"
\"Alas，dearest！IthinkIshallgomadifIkeepupthebattleanylonger。\"
\"Thereneedsnobattle，dearestIgnazia，eitherlovemeasIloveyou，ortellmetoleavethehouse，andseeyounomore。Iwillobeyyou，butthatwillnotmakeyouhappy。\"
\"Iknowthat。No，youshallnotgofromyourownhouse。Butallowmetotellyouthatyouaremistakeninyourestimateofmycousins’
characters。Iknowwhatinfluencedyou，butyoudonotknowall。Theyoungerisagoodgirl，andthoughsheisugly，shetoohassuccumbedtolove。Buttheelder，whoistentimesuglier，ismadwithrageatneverhavinghadalover。Shethoughtshehadmadeyouinlovewithher，andyetshespeaksevilofyou。Shereproachesmeforhavingyieldedsoeasily。andboaststhatshewouldneverhavegratifiedyourpassion。\"
\"Saynomore，wemustpunishher；andtheyoungershallcome。\"
\"Iammuchobligedtoyou。\"
\"Doessheknowthatweloveeachother？\"
\"Ihavenevertoldher，butshehasguessedit，andpitiesme。ShewantsmetojoinherinadevotiontoOurLadydelaSoledad，theeffectofwhichwouldbeacompletecureforusboth。\"
\"Thensheisinlove，too？\"
\"Yes；andsheisunhappyinherlove，foritisnotreturned。Thatmustbeagreatgrief。\"
\"Ipityher，andyet，withsuchaface，Idonotknowanymanwhowouldtakecompassiononher。Thepoorgirlwoulddowelltoleavelovealone。
Butastoyou……\"
\"Saynothingaboutme:mydangerisgreaterthanhers。Iamforcedtodefendmyselfortogivein，andGodknowstherearesomemenwhomitisimpossibletowardoff！GodismywitnessthatinHolyWeekIwenttoapoorgirlwiththesmallpox，andtouchedherinthehopeofcatchingit，andsolosingmybeauty；butGodwouldnothaveitso，andmyconfessorblamedme，biddingmetodoapenanceIhadneverexpected。\"
\"Tellmewhatitis？\"
\"Hetoldmethatahandsomefaceistheindexofahandsomesoul，andisagiftofGod，forwhichawomanshouldrenderthankscontinually；thatinattemptingtodestroythisbeautyIhadsinned，forIhadendeavouredtodestroyGod’shandiwork。Afteragooddealofrebukeinthisstyle，heorderedmetoputalittlerougeonmycheekswheneverIfeltmyselflookingpale。Ihadtosubmit，andIhaveboughtapotofrouge，buthithertoIhavenotfeltobligedtouseit。Indeed，myfathermightnoticeit，andIshouldnotliketotellhimthatitisdonebywayofpenance。\"
\"Isyourconfessorayoungman？\"
\"Heisanoldmanofseventy。\"
\"Doyoutellhimallyoursinswithoutreserve？\"
\"Certainly，forthesmallestcircumstancemaybereallyagreatsin。\"
\"Doesheaskyouquestions？\"
\"No，forheseesthatIamtellinghimthewholetruth。Itisagreattrial，butIhavetosubmittoit。\"
\"Haveyouhadthisconfessorforlong？\"
\"Fortwoyears。BeforehimIhadaconfessorwhowasquiteunbearable。
Heaskedmequestionswhichmademequiteindignant。\"
\"Whatquestionswerethese？\"
\"Youmustpleaseexcusemetellingyou。\"
\"Whydoyougotoconfessionsooften？\"
\"Why？WouldtoGodIhadnotgoodcause！butafterallIonlygoonceaweek。\"
\"That’stoooften。\"
\"Notso，forwhenIaminmortalsinIcannotsleepatnight。Iamafraidofdyinginmysleep。\"
\"Ipityyou，dearest；Ihaveaconsolationwhichisdeniedyou。IhaveaninfinitetrustintheinfinitemercyofGod。\"
Thecousinarrivedandwesetout。Wefoundagoodmanycarriagesinfrontofthechurch—door，andthechurchitselfwasfullofdevotees，bothmaleandfemale。AmongstothersIsawtheDuchessofVilladorias，notoriousforherandromania。Whenthe’furoruterinus’seizedher，nothingcouldkeepherback。Shewouldrushatthemanwhohadexcitedher，andhehadnochoicebuttosatisfyherpassion。Thishadhappenedseveraltimesinpublicassemblies，andhadgivenrisetosomeextraordinaryscenes。Ihadseenherataball；shewasstillbothyoungandpretty。AsIenteredthechurchIsawherkneelingonthestonesofthechurchfloor。Sheliftedhereyes，andgazedatme，asifdoubtfulwhethersheknewmeornot，asshehadonlyseenmeindomino。Aftermydevoteeshadprayedforhalfanhour，theyrosetogo，andtheduchessrosealso；andassoonaswewereoutofthechurchsheaskedmeifI
knewher。Irepliedintheaffirmative，andsheaskedwhyIhadnotbeentoseeher，andifIvisitedtheDuchessofBenevento。ItoldherthatI
didnotvisithergrace，andthatIshouldhavethehonourofpayingheracallbeforelong。
OnourwayIexplainedtomytwocompanionsthenatureoftheduchess’smalady。DonnaIgnaziaaskedmeanxiouslyifIreallymeanttogoandseeher。SheseemedreassuredwhenIrepliedinthenegative。
Acommonandtomymindaridiculousquestioniswhichofthetwosexesenjoysthegenerativeactthemore。HomergivesusJupiterandJunodisputingonthispoint。Tiresias，whowasonceawoman，hasgivenacorrectthoughamusingdecisiononthepoint。Alaconicanswerhasitthatawomanenjoystheactthemostbecausewithheritissharper，repeatedmorefrequently，andfinallybecausethebattleisfoughtinherfield。Sheisatthesametimeanactiveandpassiveagent，whileactionisindispensabletothepleasureoftheman。Butthemostconclusivereasonisthatifthewoman’spleasurewerenotthegreaternaturewouldbeunjust，andsheneverisorcanbeunjust。Nothinginthisuniverseiswithoutitsuse，andnopleasureorpainiswithoutitscompensationorbalance。Ifwomanhadnotmorepleasurethanmanshewouldnothavemoreorgansthanhe。Thegreaternervouspowerplantedinthefemaleorganisdemonstratedbytheandromaniatowhichsomewomenaresubject，andwhichmakesthemeitherMessalinesormartyrs。Menhavenothingatallsimilartothis。
Naturehasgiventowomenthisspecialenjoymenttocompensateforthepainstheyhavetoundergo。Whatmanwouldexposehimself，forthepleasureheenjoys，tothepainsofpregnancyandthedangersofchildbed？Butwomenwilldosoagainandagain；soitmustbeconcludedthattheybelievethepleasuretooutbalancethepain；andsoitisclearlythewomanwhohasthebettershareintheenjoyment。
Inspiteofthis，ifIhadthechoiceofbeingbornagainasawoman，I
shouldsayno；forinspiteofmyvoluptuousness，amanhaspleasureswhichawomancannotenjoy。Though，indeed，ratherthannotbebornagain，Iwouldbeawoman，andevenabrute，providedalwaysthatIhadmymemory，forwithoutitIshouldnolongerbemyself。
Wehadsomeices，andmytwocompanionsreturnedhomewithme，wellpleasedwiththeenjoymentIhadgiventhemwithoutoffendingGod。
DonnaIgnazia，whowasdelightedwithmycontinenceduringtheday，andapparentlyafraidofitsnotlasting，beggedmetoinvitehercousintosupper。Iagreed，andevendidsowithpleasure。
Thecousinwasugly，andalsoafool，butshehadagreatheartandwassympathetic。IknewthatDonnaIgnaziahadtoldherall，andasshewasnorestraintonmeIdidnotmindherbeingatsupper，whileIgnazialookeduponherasasafeguard。
Thetablehadbeenlaidforthree，whenIheardastepcomingupthestairs。Itwasthefather，andIaskedhimtosupwithus。DonDiegowasapleasantman，asIhavesaid，butwhatamusedmemostofallabouthimwashismoralmaxims。HekneworsuspectedthatIwasfondofhisdaughter，thoughinanhonourableway；hethoughtmyhonourorhisdaughter’spietywouldbeasufficientsafeguard。Ifhehadsuspectedwhathadreallyhappened，Idonotthinkhewouldeverhaveallowedustobetogether。
Hesatbesidehisnieceandfacinghisdaughter，anddidmostofthetalking，foryourSpaniard，thoughgrave，iseloquent，andfondofhearingthefineharmoniesofhisnativetongue。
Itwasveryhot，soIaskedhimtotakeoffhiswaistcoat，andtotellhisdaughtertodojustasshewouldifonlyheandhiswifehadbeenpresent。
DonnaIgnaziahadnottobeentreatedlongbeforeshetookoffherkerchief，butthepoorcousindidnotlikehavingtoshewusherbonesandswarthyskin。
DonnaIgnaziatoldherfatherhowmuchshehadenjoyedherself，andhowtheyhadseentheDuchessofVilladorias，whohadaskedmetocomeandseeher。
Thegoodmanbegantophilosophiseandtojestonhermalady，andhetoldmesomestories，germanetothequestion，whichthegirlspretendednottounderstand。
ThegoodwineofLaManchakeptusattabletillalatehour，andthetimeseemedtopassveryquickly。DonDiegotoldhisniecethatshecouldsleepwithhisdaughter，intheroomwewerein，asthebedwasbigenoughfortwo。IhastenedtoaddthatiftheladieswoulddosoI
shouldbedelighted；butDonnaIgnaziablushedandsaiditwouldnotdo，astheroomwasonlyseparatedfromminebyaglassdoor。
AtthisIsmiledatDonDiego，whoproceededtoharanguehisdaughterinamannerwhichamusedmeextremely。HetoldherthatIwasatleasttwentyyearsolderthanherself，andthatinsuspectingmeshehadcommittedagreatersinthanifsheallowedmetotakesomeslightliberty。
\"Iamsure，\"headded，\"thatwhenyougotoconfessionnextSundayyouwillforgettoaccuseyourselfofhavingwrongfullysuspectedDonJaimeofadishonourableaction。\"
DonnaIgnazialookedatmeaffectionately，askedmypardon，andsaidshewoulddowhateverherfatherliked。Thecousinsaidnothing，andthefatherkissedhisdaughter，bademeagoodnight，andwentawaywellpleasedwiththeharanguehehaddelivered。