`Wasitgoodforyou？\'
Gerald\'seyesnarroweduglily。Schoolhadbeentorturetohim。Yethehadnotquestionedwhetheroneshouldgothroughthistorture。Heseemedtobelieveineducationthroughsubjectionandtorment。
`Ihateditatthetime，butIcanseeitwasnecessary，\'hesaid。`Itbroughtmeintolineabit——andyoucan\'tliveunlessyoudocomeintolinesomewhere。\'
`Well，\'saidBirkin，`Ibegintothinkthatyoucan\'tliveunlessyoukeepentirelyoutoftheline。It\'snogoodtryingtotoetheline，whenyouroneimpulseistosmashuptheline。Winnieisaspecialnature，andforspecialnaturesyoumustgiveaspecialworld。\'
`Yes，butwhere\'syourspecialworld？\'saidGerald。
`Makeit。Insteadofchoppingyourselfdowntofittheworld，choptheworlddowntofityourself。Asamatteroffact，twoexceptionalpeoplemakeanotherworld。YouandI，wemakeanother，separateworld。Youdon\'twantaworldsameasyourbrothers—in—law。It\'sjustthespecialqualityyouvalue。Doyouwanttobenormalorordinary！It\'salie。Youwanttobefreeandextraordinary，inanextraordinaryworldofliberty。\'
GeraldlookedatBirkinwithsubtleeyesofknowledge。Buthewouldneveropenlyadmitwhathefelt。HeknewmorethanBirkin，inonedirection——muchmore。Andthisgavehimhisgentlelovefortheotherman，asifBirkinwereinsomewayyoung，innocent，child—like:soamazinglyclever，butincurablyinnocent。
`Yetyouaresobanalastoconsidermechieflyafreak，\'saidBirkinpointedly。
`Afreak！\'exclaimedGerald，startled。Andhisfaceopenedsuddenly，asiflightedwithsimplicity，aswhenafloweropensoutofthecunningbud。`No——Ineverconsideryouafreak。\'Andhewatchedtheothermanwithstrangeeyes，thatBirkincouldnotunderstand。`Ifeel，\'Geraldcontinued，`thatthereisalwaysanelementofuncertaintyaboutyou——perhapsyouareuncertainaboutyourself。ButI\'mneversureofyou。Youcangoawayandchangeaseasilyasifyouhadnosoul。\'
HelookedatBirkinwithpenetratingeyes。Birkinwasamazed。Hethoughthehadallthesoulintheworld。Hestaredinamazement。AndGerald，watching，sawtheamazingattractivegoodlinessofhiseyes，ayoung，spontaneousgoodnessthatattractedtheothermaninfinitely，yetfilledhimwithbitterchagrin，becausehemistrusteditsomuch。HeknewBirkincoulddowithouthim——couldforget，andnotsuffer。ThiswasalwayspresentinGerald\'sconsciousness，fillinghimwithbitterunbelief:thisconsciousnessoftheyoung，animal—likespontaneityofdetachment。Itseemedalmostlikehypocrisyandlying，sometimes，oh，often，onBirkin\'spart，totalksodeeplyandimportantly。
QuiteotherthingsweregoingthroughBirkin\'smind。Suddenlyhesawhimselfconfrontedwithanotherproblem——theproblemofloveandeternalconjunctionbetweentwomen。Ofcoursethiswasnecessary——ithadbeenanecessityinsidehimselfallhislife——toloveamanpurelyandfully。
OfcoursehehadbeenlovingGeraldallalong，andallalongdenyingit。
Helayinthebedandwondered，whilsthisfriendsatbesidehim，lostinbrooding。Eachmanwasgoneinhisownthoughts。
`YouknowhowtheoldGermanknightsusedtoswearaBlutbruderschaft，\'
hesaidtoGerald，withquiteanewhappyactivityinhiseyes。
`Makealittlewoundintheirarms，andrubeachother\'sbloodintothecut？\'saidGerald。
`Yes——andsweartobetruetoeachother，ofoneblood，alltheirlives。Thatiswhatweoughttodo。Nowounds，thatisobsolete。Butweoughttosweartoloveeachother，youandI，implicitly，andperfectly，finally，withoutanypossibilityofgoingbackonit。\'
HelookedatGeraldwithclear，happyeyesofdiscovery。Geraldlookeddownathim，attracted，sodeeplybondagedinfascinatedattraction，thathewasmistrustful，resentingthebondage，hatingtheattraction。
`Wewillsweartoeachother，oneday，shallwe？\'pleadedBirkin。`Wewillsweartostandbyeachother——betruetoeachother——ultimately——infallibly——giventoeachother，organically——withoutpossibilityoftakingback。\'
Birkinsoughthardtoexpresshimself。ButGeraldhardlylistened。Hisfaceshonewithacertainluminouspleasure。Hewaspleased。Buthekepthisreserve。Heheldhimselfback。
`Shallwesweartoeachother，oneday？\'saidBirkin，puttingouthishandtowardsGerald。
Geraldjusttouchedtheextendedfine，livinghand，asifwithheldandafraid。
`We\'llleaveittillIunderstanditbetter，\'hesaid，inavoiceofexcuse。
Birkinwatchedhim。Alittlesharpdisappointment，perhapsatouchofcontemptcameintohisheart。
`Yes，\'hesaid。`Youmusttellmewhatyouthink，later。YouknowwhatImean？Notsloppyemotionalism。Animpersonalunionthatleavesonefree。\'
Theylapsedbothintosilence。BirkinwaslookingatGeraldallthetime。Heseemednowtosee，notthephysical，animalman，whichheusuallysawinGerald，andwhichusuallyhelikedsomuch，butthemanhimself，complete，andasiffated，doomed，limited。ThisstrangesenseoffatalityinGerald，asifhewerelimitedtooneformofexistence，oneknowledge，oneactivity，asortoffatalhalfness，whichtohimselfseemedwholeness，alwaysovercameBirkinaftertheirmomentsofpassionateapproach，andfilledhimwithasortofcontempt，orboredom。ItwastheinsistenceonthelimitationwhichsoboredBirkininGerald。Geraldcouldneverflyawayfromhimself，inrealindifferentgaiety。Hehadaclog，asortofmonomania。
Therewassilenceforatime。ThenBirkinsaid，inalightertone，lettingthestressofthecontactpass:
`Can\'tyougetagoodgovernessforWinifred？——somebodyexceptional？\'
`HermioneRoddicesuggestedweshouldaskGudruntoteachhertodrawandtomodelinclay。YouknowWinnieisastonishinglycleverwiththatplasticinestuff。Hermionedeclaressheisanartist。\'Geraldspokeintheusualanimated，chattymanner，asifnothingunusualhadpassed。ButBirkin\'smannerwasfullofreminder。
`Really！Ididn\'tknowthat。Ohwellthen，ifGudrunwouldteachher，itwouldbeperfect——couldn\'tbeanythingbetter——ifWinifredisanartist。BecauseGudrunsomewhereisone。Andeverytrueartististhesalvationofeveryother。\'
`Ithoughttheygotonsobadly，asarule。\'
`Perhaps。Butonlyartistsproduceforeachothertheworldthatisfittolivein。IfyoucanarrangethatforWinifred，itisperfect。\'
`Butyouthinkshewouldn\'tcome？\'
`Idon\'tknow。Gudrunisratherself—opinionated。Shewon\'tgocheapanywhere。Orifshedoes，she\'llprettysoontakeherselfback。Sowhethershewouldcondescendtodoprivateteaching，particularlyhere，inBeldover，Idon\'tknow。Butitwouldbejustthething。Winifredhasgotaspecialnature。Andifyoucanputintoherwaythemeansofbeingself—sufficient，thatisthebestthingpossible。She\'llnevergetonwiththeordinarylife。Youfinditdifficultenoughyourself，andsheisseveralskinsthinnerthanyouare。Itisawfultothinkwhatherlifewillbelikeunlessshedoesfindameansofexpression，somewayoffulfilment。Youcanseewhatmereleavingittofatebrings。Youcanseehowmuchmarriageistobetrustedto——lookatyourownmother。\'
`Doyouthinkmotherisabnormal？\'
`No！Ithinksheonlywantedsomethingmore，orotherthanthecommonrunoflife。Andnotgettingit，shehasgonewrongperhaps。\'
`Afterproducingabroodofwrongchildren，\'saidGeraldgloomily。
`Nomorewrongthananyoftherestofus，\'Birkinreplied。`Themostnormalpeoplehavetheworstsubterraneanselves，takethemonebyone。\'
`SometimesIthinkitisacursetobealive，\'saidGeraldwithsuddenimpotentanger。
`Well，\'saidBirkin，`whynot！Letitbeacursesometimestobealive——atothertimesitisanythingbutacurse。You\'vegotplentyofzestinitreally。\'
`Lessthanyou\'dthink，\'saidGerald，revealingastrangepovertyinhislookattheotherman。
Therewassilence，eachthinkinghisownthoughts。
`Idon\'tseewhatshehastodistinguishbetweenteachingattheGrammarSchool，andcomingtoteachWin，\'saidGerald。
`Thedifferencebetweenapublicservantandaprivateone。Theonlynoblemantoday，kingandonlyaristocrat，isthepublic，thepublic。Youarequitewillingtoservethepublic——buttobeaprivatetutor——\'
`Idon\'twanttoserveeither——\'
`No！AndGudrunwillprobablyfeelthesame。\'
Geraldthoughtforafewminutes。Thenhesaid:
`Atallevents，fatherwon\'tmakeherfeellikeaprivateservant。Hewillbefussyandgreatfulenough。\'
`Soheought。Andsooughtallofyou。DoyouthinkyoucanhireawomanlikeGudrunBrangwenwithmoney？Sheisyourequallikeanything——probablyyoursuperior。\'
`Isshe？\'saidGerald。
`Yes，andifyouhaven\'tthegutstoknowit，Ihopeshe\'llleaveyoutoyourowndevices。\'
`Nevertheless，\'saidGerald，`ifsheismyequal，Iwishsheweren\'tateacher，becauseIdon\'tthinkteachersasarulearemyequal。\'
`NordoI，damnthem。ButamIateacherbecauseIteach，oraparsonbecauseIpreach？\'
Geraldlaughed。Hewasalwaysuneasyonthisscore。Hedidnotwanttoclaimsocialsuperiority，yethewouldnotclaimintrinsicpersonalsuperiority，becausehewouldneverbasehisstandardofvaluesonpurebeing。Sohewobbleduponatacitassumptionofsocialstanding。No，Birkinwantedhimtoacceptthefactofintrinsicdifferencebetweenhumanbeings，whichhedidnotintendtoaccept。Itwasagainsthissocialhonour，hisprinciple。Herosetogo。
`I\'vebeenneglectingmybusinessallthiswhile，\'hesaidsmiling。
`Ioughttohaveremindedyoubefore，\'Birkinreplied，laughingandmocking。
`Iknewyou\'dsaysomethinglikethat，\'laughedGerald，ratheruneasily。
`Didyou？\'
`Yes，Rupert。Itwouldn\'tdoforusalltobelikeyouare——weshouldsoonbeinthecart。WhenIamabovetheworld，Ishallignoreallbusinesses。\'
`Ofcourse，we\'renotinthecartnow，\'saidBirkin，satirically。
`Notasmuchasyoumakeout。Atanyrate，wehaveenoughtoeatanddrink——\'
`Andbesatisfied，\'addedBirkin。
GeraldcamenearthebedandstoodlookingdownatBirkinwhosethroatwasexposed，whosetossedhairfellattractivelyonthewarmbrow，abovetheeyesthatweresounchallengedandstillinthesatiricalface。Gerald，full—limbedandturgidwithenergy，stoodunwillingtogo，hewasheldbythepresenceoftheotherman。Hehadnotthepowertogoaway。
`So，\'saidBirkin。`Good—bye。\'Andhereachedouthishandfromunderthebed—clothes，smilingwithaglimmeringlook。
`Good—bye，\'saidGerald，takingthewarmhandofhisfriendinafirmgrasp。`Ishallcomeagain。Imissyoudownatthemill。\'
`I\'llbethereinafewdays，\'saidBirkin。
Theeyesofthetwomenmetagain。Gerald\'s，thatwerekeenasahawk\'s，weresuffusednowwithwarmlightandwithunadmittedlove，Birkinlookedbackasoutofadarkness，unsoundedandunknown，yetwithakindofwarmth，thatseemedtoflowoverGerald\'sbrainlikeafertilesleep。
`Good—byethen。There\'snothingIcandoforyou？\'
`Nothing，thanks。\'
Birkinwatchedtheblack—clothedformoftheothermanmoveoutofthedoor，thebrightheadwasgone，heturnedovertosleep。
WomenInLove:Chapter17CHAPTERXVIITheIndustrialMagnateINBELDOVER，therewasbothforUrsulaandforGudrunaninterval。ItseemedtoUrsulaasifBirkinhadgoneoutofherforthetime，hehadlosthissignificance，hescarcelymatteredinherworld。Shehadherownfriends，herownactivities，herownlife。Sheturnedbacktotheoldwayswithzest，awayfromhim。
AndGudrun，afterfeelingeverymomentinallherveinsconsciousofGeraldCrich，connectedevenphysicallywithhim，wasnowalmostindifferenttothethoughtofhim。Shewasnursingnewschemesforgoingawayandtryinganewformoflife。Allthetime，therewassomethinginherurginghertoavoidthefinalestablishingofarelationshipwithGerald。Shefeltitwouldbewiserandbettertohavenomorethanacasualacquaintancewithhim。
ShehadaschemeforgoingtoStPetersburg，whereshehadafriendwhowasasculptorlikeherself，andwholivedwithawealthyRussianwhosehobbywasjewel—making。Theemotional，ratherrootlesslifeoftheRussiansappealedtoher。ShedidnotwanttogotoParis。Pariswasdry，andessentiallyboring。ShewouldliketogotoRome，Munich，Vienna，ortoStPetersburgorMoscow。ShehadafriendinStPetersburgandafriendinMunich。Toeachoftheseshewrote，askingaboutrooms。
Shehadacertainamountofmoney。Shehadcomehomepartlytosave，andnowshehadsoldseveralpiecesofwork，shehadbeenpraisedinvariousshows。Sheknewshecouldbecomequitethe`go\'ifshewenttoLondon。
ButsheknewLondon，shewantedsomethingelse。Shehadseventypounds，ofwhichnobodyknewanything。Shewouldmovesoon，assoonassheheardfromherfriends。Hernature，inspiteofherapparentplacidityandcalm，wasprofoundlyrestless。
ThesistershappenedtocallinacottageinWilleyGreentobuyhoney。
MrsKirk，astout，pale，sharp—nosedwoman，sly，honied，withsomethingshrewishandcat—likebeneath，askedthegirlsintohertoocosy，tootidykitchen。Therewasacat—likecomfortandcleanlinesseverywhere。
`Yes，MissBrangwen，\'shesaid，inherslightlywhining，insinuatingvoice，`andhowdoyoulikebeingbackintheoldplace，then？\'
Gudrun，whomsheaddressed，hatedheratonce。
`Idon\'tcareforit，\'sherepliedabruptly。
`Youdon\'t？Ay，well，IsupposeyoufoundadifferencefromLondon。
Youlikelife，andbig，grandplaces。SomeofushastobecontentwithWilleyGreenandBeldover。AndwhatdoyouthinkofourGrammarSchool，asthere\'ssomuchtalkabout？\'
`WhatdoIthinkofit？\'Gudrunlookedroundatherslowly。`Doyoumean，doIthinkit\'sagoodschool？\'
`Yes。Whatisyouropinionofit？\'
\"Idothinkit\'sagoodschool。\'
Gudrunwasverycoldandrepelling。Sheknewthecommonpeoplehatedtheschool。
`Ay，youdo，then！I\'veheardsomuch，onewayandtheother。It\'snicetoknowwhatthosethat\'sinitfeel。Butopinionsvary，don\'tthey？MrCrichupatHighcloseisallforit。Ay，poorman，I\'mafraidhe\'snotlongforthisworld。He\'sverypoorly。\'
`Isheworse？\'askedUrsula。
`Eh，yes——sincetheylostMissDiana。He\'sgoneofftoashadow。Poorman，he\'shadaworldoftrouble。\'
`Hashe？\'askedGudrun，faintlyironic。
`Hehas，aworldoftrouble。Andasniceandkindagentlemanaseveryoucouldwishtomeet。Hischildrendon\'ttakeafterhim。\'
`Isupposetheytakeaftertheirmother？\'saidUrsula。
`Inmanyways。\'MrsKrikloweredhervoicealittle。`Shewasaproudhaughtyladywhenshecameintotheseparts——myword，shewasthat！Shemustn\'tbelookedat，anditwasworthyourlifetospeaktoher。\'Thewomanmadeadry，slyface。
`Didyouknowherwhenshewasfirstmarried？\'
`Yes，Iknewher。Inursedthreeofherchildren。Andproperlittleterrorstheywere，littlefiends——thatGeraldwasademonifevertherewasone，aproperdemon，ay，atsixmonthsold。\'Acuriousmalicious，slytonecameintothewoman\'svoice。
`Really，\'saidGudrun。
`Thatwilful，masterful——he\'dmasteredonenurseatsixmonths。Kick，andscream，andstrugglelikeademon。Many\'sthetimeI\'vepinchedhislittlebottomforhim，whenhewasachildinarms。Ay，andhe\'dhavebeenbetterifhe\'dhaditpinchedoftener。Butshewouldn\'thavethemcorrected——no—o，wouldn\'thearofit。IcanremembertherowsshehadwithMrCrich，myword。Whenhe\'dgotworkedup，properlyworkeduptillhecouldstandnomore，he\'dlockthestudydoorandwhipthem。Butshepacedupanddownallthewhilelikeatigeroutside，likeatiger，withverymurderinherface。Shehadafacethatcouldlookdeath。Andwhenthedoorwasopened，she\'dgoinwithherhandslifted——\"Whathaveyoubeendoingtomychildren，youcoward。\"Shewaslikeoneoutofhermind。I
believehewasfrightenedofher;hehadtobedrivenmadbeforehe\'dliftafinger。Didn\'ttheservantshavealifeofit！Anddidn\'tweusedtobethankfulwhenoneofthemcaughtit。Theywerethetormentofyourlife。\'
`Really！\'saidGudrun。
`Ineverypossibleway。Ifyouwouldn\'tletthemsmashtheirpotsonthetable，ifyouwouldn\'tletthemdragthekittenaboutwithastringrounditsneck，ifyouwouldn\'tgivethemwhatevertheyaskedfor，everymortalthing——thentherewasashineon，andtheirmothercominginasking——\"What\'sthematterwithhim？Whathaveyoudonetohim？Whatisit，Darling？\"Andthenshe\'dturnonyouasifshe\'dtrampleyouunderherfeet。Butshedidn\'ttrampleonme。Iwastheonlyonethatcoulddoanythingwithherdemons——forshewasn\'tgoingtobebotheredwiththemherself。
No，shetooknotroubleforthem。Buttheymustjusthavetheirway，theymustn\'tbespokento。AndMasterGeraldwasthebeauty。Ileftwhenhewasayearandahalf，Icouldstandnomore。ButIpinchedhislittlebottomforhimwhenhewasinarms，Idid，whentherewasnoholdinghim，andI\'mnotsorryIdid——\'
Gudrunwentawayinfuryandloathing。Thephrase，`Ipinchedhislittlebottomforhim，\'sentherintoawhite，stonyfury。Shecouldnotbearit，shewantedtohavethewomantakenoutatonceandstrangled。Andyettherethephrasewaslodgedinhermindforever，beyondescape。Shefelt，oneday，shewouldhavetotellhim，toseehowhetookit。Andsheloathedherselfforthethought。
ButatShortlandsthelife—longstrugglewascomingtoaclose。Thefatherwasillandwasgoingtodie。Hehadbadinternalpains，whichtookawayallhisattentivelife，andlefthimwithonlyavestigeofhisconsciousness。
Moreandmoreasilencecameoverhim，hewaslessandlessacutelyawareofhissurroundings。Thepainseemedtoabsorbhisactivity。Heknewitwasthere，heknewitwouldcomeagain。Itwaslikesomethinglurkinginthedarknesswithinhim。Andhehadnotthepower，orthewill，toseekitoutandtoknowit。Thereitremainedinthedarkness，thegreatpain，tearinghimattimes，andthenbeingsilent。Andwhenittorehimhecrouchedinsilentsubjectionunderit，andwhenitlefthimaloneagain，herefusedtoknowofit。Itwaswithinthedarkness，letitremainunknown。Soheneveradmittedit，exceptinasecretcornerofhimself，whereallhisnever—revealedfearsandsecretswereaccumulated。Fortherest，hehadapain，itwentaway，itmadenodifference。Itevenstimulatedhim，excitedhim。
Butitgraduallyabsorbedhislife。Graduallyitdrewawayallhispotentiality，itbledhimintothedark，itweanedhimoflifeanddrewhimawayintothedarkness。Andinthistwilightofhislifelittleremainedvisibletohim。Thebusiness，hiswork，thatwasgoneentirely。Hispublicinterestshaddisappearedasiftheyhadneverbeen。Evenhisfamilyhadbecomeextraneoustohim，hecouldonlyremember，insomeslightnon—essentialpartofhimself，thatsuchandsuchwerehischildren。Butitwashistoricalfact，notvitaltohim。Hehadtomakeanefforttoknowtheirrelationtohim。Evenhiswifebarelyexisted。Sheindeedwaslikethedarkness，likethepainwithinhim。Bysomestrangeassociation，thedarknessthatcontainedthepainandthedarknessthatcontainedhiswifewereidentical。Allhisthoughtsandunderstandingsbecameblurredandfused，andnowhiswifeandtheconsumingpainwerethesamedarksecretpoweragainsthim，thatheneverfaced。
Heneverdrovethedreadoutofitslairwithinhim。Heonlyknewthattherewasadarkplace，andsomethinginhabitingthisdarknesswhichissuedfromtimetotimeandrenthim。Buthedarednotpenetrateanddrivethebeastintotheopen。Hehadratherignoreitsexistence。Only，inhisvagueway，thedreadwashiswife，thedestroyer，anditwasthepain，thedestruction，adarknesswhichwasoneandboth。
Heveryrarelysawhiswife。Shekeptherroom。Onlyoccasionallyshecameforth，withherheadstretchedforward，andinherlow，possessedvoice，sheaskedhimhowhewas。Andheansweredher，inthehabitofmorethanthirtyyears:`Well，Idon\'tthinkI\'manytheworse，dear。\'Buthewasfrightenedofher，underneaththissafeguardofhabit，frightenedalmosttothevergeofdeath。
Butallhislife，hehadbeensoconstanttohislights，hehadneverbrokendown。Hewoulddieevennowwithoutbreakingdown，withoutknowingwhathisfeelingswere，towardsher。Allhislife，hehadsaid:`PoorChristiana，shehassuchastrongtemper。\'Withunbrokenwill，hehadstoodbythispositionwithregardtoher，hehadsubstitutedpityforallhishostility，pityhadbeenhisshieldandhissafeguard，andhisinfallibleweapon。
Andstill，inhisconsciousness，hewassorryforher，hernaturewassoviolentandsoimpatient。
Butnowhispity，withhislife，waswearingthin，andthedreadalmostamountingtohorror，wasrisingintobeing。Butbeforethearmourofhispityreallybroke，hewoulddie，asaninsectwhenitsshelliscracked。
Thiswashisfinalresource。Otherswouldliveon，andknowthelivingdeath，theensuingprocessofhopelesschaos。Hewouldnot。Hedenieddeathitsvictory。
Hehadbeensoconstanttohislights，soconstanttocharity，andtohisloveforhisneighbour。Perhapshehadlovedhisneighbourevenbetterthanhimself——whichisgoingonefurtherthanthecommandment。Always，thisflamehadburnedinhisheart，sustaininghimthrougheverything，thewelfareofthepeople。Hewasalargeemployeroflabour，hewasagreatmine—owner。Andhehadneverlostthisfromhisheart，thatinChristhewasonewithhisworkmen。Nay，hehadfeltinferiortothem，asiftheythroughpovertyandlabourwerenearertoGodthanhe。Hehadalwaystheunacknowledgedbelief，thatitwashisworkmen，theminers，whoheldintheirhandsthemeansofsalvation。TomovenearertoGod，hemustmovetowardshisminers，hislifemustgravitatetowardstheirs。Theywere，unconsciously，hisidol，hisGodmademanifest。Inthemheworshippedthehighest，thegreat，sympathetic，mindlessGodheadofhumanity。
Andallthewhile，hiswifehadopposedhimlikeoneofthegreatdemonsofhell。Strange，likeabirdofprey，withthefascinatingbeautyandabstractionofahawk，shehadbeatagainstthebarsofhisphilanthropy，andlikeahawkinacage，shehadsunkintosilence。Byforceofcircumstance，becausealltheworldcombinedtomakethecageunbreakable，hehadbeentoostrongforher，hehadkeptherprisoner。Andbecauseshewashisprisoner，hispassionforherhadalwaysremainedkeenasdeath。Hehadalwayslovedher，lovedherwithintensity。Withinthecage，shewasdeniednothing，shewasgivenalllicence。
Butshehadgonealmostmad。Ofwildandoverweeningtemper，shecouldnotbearthehumiliationofherhusband\'ssoft，half—appealingkindnesstoeverybody。Hewasnotdeceivedbythepoor。Heknewtheycameandspongedonhim，andwhinedtohim，theworsesort;themajority，luckilyforhim，weremuchtooproudtoaskforanything，muchtooindependenttocomeknockingathisdoor。ButinBeldover，aseverywhereelse，therewerethewhining，parasitic，foulhumanbeingswhocomecrawlingaftercharity，andfeedingonthelivingbodyofthepubliclikelice。AkindoffirewouldgooverChristianaCrich\'sbrain，asshesawtwomorepale—faced，creepingwomeninobjectionableblackclothes，cringinglugubriouslyupthedrivetothedoor。Shewantedtosetthedogsonthem，`HiRip！HiRing！Ranger！At\'emboys，set\'emoff。\'ButCrowther，thebutler，withalltherestoftheservants，wasMrCrich\'sman。Nevertheless，whenherhusbandwasaway，shewouldcomedownlikeawolfonthecrawlingsupplicants;
`Whatdoyoupeoplewant？Thereisnothingforyouhere。Youhavenobusinessonthedriveatall。Simpson，drivethemawayandletnomoreofthemthroughthegate。\'
Theservantshadtoobeyher。Andshewouldstandwatchingwithaneyeliketheeagle\'s，whilstthegroominclumsyconfusiondrovethelugubriouspersonsdownthedrive，asiftheywererustyfowls，scuttlingbeforehim。
Buttheylearnedtoknow，fromthelodge—keeper，whenMrsCrichwasaway，andtheytimedtheirvisits。Howmanytimes，inthefirstyears，wouldCrowtherknocksoftlyatthedoor:`Persontoseeyou，sir。\'
`Whatname？\'
`Grocock，sir。\'
`Whatdotheywant？\'Thequestionwashalfimpatient，halfgratified。
Helikedhearingappealstohischarity。
`Aboutachild，sir。\'
`Showthemintothelibrary，andtellthemtheyshouldn\'tcomeaftereleveno\'clockinthemorning。\'
`Whydoyougetupfromdinner？——sendthemoff，\'hiswifewouldsayabruptly。
`Oh，Ican\'tdothat。It\'snotroublejusttohearwhattheyhavetosay。\'
`Howmanymorehavebeenheretoday？Whydon\'tyouestablishopenhouseforthem？Theywouldsoonoustmeandthechildren。\'
`Youknowdear，itdoesn\'thurtmetohearwhattheyhavetosay。Andiftheyreallyareintrouble——well，itismydutytohelpthemoutofit。\'
`It\'syourdutytoinvitealltheratsintheworldtognawatyourbones。\'
`Come，Christiana，itisn\'tlikethat。Don\'tbeuncharitable。\'
Butshesuddenlysweptoutoftheroom，andouttothestudy。Theresatthemeagrecharity—seekers，lookingasiftheywereatthedoctor\'s。
`MrCrichcan\'tseeyou。Hecan\'tseeyouatthishour。Doyouthinkheisyourproperty，thatyoucancomewheneveryoulike？Youmustgoaway，thereisnothingforyouhere。\'
Thepoorpeopleroseinconfusion。ButMrCrich，paleandblack—beardedanddeprecating，camebehindher，saying:
`Yes，Idon\'tlikeyoucomingaslateasthis。I\'llhearanyofyouinthemorningpartoftheday，butIcan\'treallydowithyouafter。What\'samissthen，Gittens。HowisyourMissis？\'
`Why，she\'ssunkverylow，MesterCrich，she\'sa\'mostgone，sheis——\'
Sometimes，itseemedtoMrsCrichasifherhusbandweresomesubtlefuneralbird，feedingonthemiseriesofthepeople。Itseemedtoherhewasneversatisfiedunlesstherewassomesordidtalebeingpouredouttohim，whichhedrankinwithasortofmournful，sympatheticsatisfaction。
Hewouldhavenoraisond\'etreiftherewerenolugubriousmiseriesintheworld，asanundertakerwouldhavenomeaningiftherewerenofunerals。
MrsCrichrecoiledbackuponherself，sherecoiledawayfromthisworldofcreepingdemocracy。Abandoftight，balefulexclusionfastenedroundherheart，herisolationwasfierceandhard，herantagonismwaspassivebutterriblypure，likethatofahawkinacage。Astheyearswenton，shelostmoreandmorecountoftheworld，sheseemedraptinsomeglitteringabstraction，almostpurelyunconscious。Shewouldwanderaboutthehouseandaboutthesurroundingcountry，staringkeenlyandseeingnothing。Sherarelyspoke，shehadnoconnectionwiththeworld。Andshedidnoteventhink。Shewasconsumedinafiercetensionofopposition，likethenegativepoleofamagnet。