Birkinwasstandinginthemiddleoftheroom，whenshewasshowninbythelandlady。Hetoowasmovedoutsidehimself。Shesawhimagitatedandshaken，afrail，unsubstantialbodysilentlikethenodeofsomeviolentforce，thatcameoutfromhimandshookheralmostintoaswoon。
`Youarealone？\'hesaid。
`Yes—Gudruncouldnotcome。\'
Heinstantlyguessedwhy。
Andtheywerebothseatedinsilence，intheterribletensionoftheroom。Shewasawarethatitwasapleasantroom，fulloflightandveryrestfulinitsform——awarealsoofafuchsiatree，withdanglingscarletandpurpleflowers。
`Hownicethefuchsiasare！\'shesaid，tobreakthesilence。
`Aren\'tthey！DidyouthinkIhadforgottenwhatIsaid？\'
AswoonwentoverUrsula\'smind。
`Idon\'twantyoutorememberit——ifyoudon\'twantto，\'shestruggledtosay，throughthedarkmistthatcoveredher。
Therewassilenceforsomemoments。
`No，\'hesaid。`Itisn\'tthat。Only——ifwearegoingtoknoweachother，wemustpledgeourselvesforever。Ifwearegoingtomakearelationship，evenoffriendship，theremustbesomethingfinalandinfallibleaboutit。\'
Therewasaclangofmistrustandalmostangerinhisvoice。Shedidnotanswer。Herheartwastoomuchcontracted。Shecouldnothavespoken。
Seeingshewasnotgoingtoreply，hecontinued，almostbitterly，givinghimselfaway:
`Ican\'tsayitisloveIhavetooffer——anditisn\'tloveIwant。
Itissomethingmuchmoreimpersonalandharder——andrarer。\'
Therewasasilence，outofwhichshesaid:
`Youmeanyoudon\'tloveme？\'
Shesufferedfuriously，sayingthat。
`Yes，ifyouliketoputitlikethat。Thoughperhapsthatisn\'ttrue。
Idon\'tknow。Atanyrate，Idon\'tfeeltheemotionofloveforyou——
no，andIdon\'twantto。Becauseitgivesoutinthelastissues。\'
`Lovegivesoutinthelastissues？\'sheasked，feelingnumbtothelips。
`Yes，itdoes。Attheverylast，oneisalone，beyondtheinfluenceoflove。Thereisarealimpersonalme，thatisbeyondlove，beyondanyemotionalrelationship。Soitiswithyou。Butwewanttodeludeourselvesthatloveistheroot。Itisn\'t。Itisonlythebranches。Therootisbeyondlove，anakedkindofisolation，anisolatedme，thatdoesnotmeetandmingle，andnevercan。\'
Shewatchedhimwithwide，troubledeyes。Hisfacewasincandescentinitsabstractearnestness。
`Andyoumeanyoucan\'tlove？\'sheasked，intrepidation。
`Yes，ifyoulike。Ihaveloved。Butthereisabeyond，wherethereisnotlove。\'
Shecouldnotsubmittothis。Shefeltitswooningoverher。Butshecouldnotsubmit。
`Buthowdoyouknow——ifyouhaveneverreallyloved？\'sheasked。
`Itistrue，whatIsay;thereisabeyond，inyou，inme，whichisfurtherthanlove，beyondthescope，asstarsarebeyondthescopeofvision，someofthem。\'
`Thenthereisnolove，\'criedUrsula。
`Ultimately，no，thereissomethingelse。But，ultimately，thereisnolove。\'
Ursulawasgivenovertothisstatementforsomemoments。Thenshehalfrosefromherchair，saying，inafinal，repellentvoice:
`Thenletmegohome——whatamIdoinghere？\'
`Thereisthedoor，\'hesaid。`Youareafreeagent。\'
Hewassuspendedfinelyandperfectlyinthisextremity。Shehungmotionlessforsomeseconds，thenshesatdownagain。
`Ifthereisnolove，whatisthere？\'shecried，almostjeering。
`Something，\'hesaid，lookingather，battlingwithhissoul，withallhismight。
`What？\'
Hewassilentforalongtime，unabletobeincommunicationwithherwhileshewasinthisstateofopposition。
`Thereis，\'hesaid，inavoiceofpureabstraction;`afinalmewhichisstarkandimpersonalandbeyondresponsibility。Sothereisafinalyou。AnditisthereIwouldwanttomeetyou——notintheemotional，lovingplane——buttherebeyond，wherethereisnospeechandnotermsofagreement。Therewearetwostark，unknownbeings，twoutterlystrangecreatures，Iwouldwanttoapproachyou，andyoume。Andtherecouldbenoobligation，becausethereisnostandardforactionthere，becausenounderstandinghasbeenreapedfromthatplane。Itisquiteinhuman，——
sotherecanbenocallingtobook，inanyformwhatsoever——becauseoneisoutsidethepaleofallthatisaccepted，andnothingknownapplies。
Onecanonlyfollowtheimpulse，takingthatwhichliesinfront，andresponsiblefornothing，askedfornothing，givingnothing，onlyeachtakingaccordingtotheprimaldesire。\'
Ursulalistenedtothisspeech，herminddumbandalmostsenseless，whathesaidwassounexpectedandsountoward。
`Itisjustpurelyselfish，\'shesaid。
`Ifitispure，yes。Butitisn\'tselfishatall。BecauseIdon\'tknowwhatIwantofyou。Idelivermyselfovertotheunknown，incomingtoyou，Iamwithoutreservesordefences，strippedentirely，intotheunknown。Onlythereneedsthepledgebetweenus，thatwewillbothcastoffeverything，castoffourselveseven，andceasetobe，sothatthatwhichisperfectlyourselvescantakeplaceinus。\'
Sheponderedalongherownlineofthought。
`Butitisbecauseyouloveme，thatyouwantme？\'shepersisted。
`Noitisn\'t。ItisbecauseIbelieveinyou——ifIdobelieveinyou。\'
`Aren\'tyousure？\'shelaughed，suddenlyhurt。
Hewaslookingathersteadfastly，scarcelyheedingwhatshesaid。
`Yes，Imustbelieveinyou，orelseIshouldn\'tbeheresayingthis，\'
hereplied。`ButthatisalltheproofIhave。Idon\'tfeelanyverystrongbeliefatthisparticularmoment。\'
Shedislikedhimforthissuddenrelapseintowearinessandfaithlessness。
`Butdon\'tyouthinkmegood—looking？\'shepersisted，inamockingvoice。
Helookedather，toseeifhefeltthatshewasgood—looking。
`Idon\'tfeelthatyou\'regood—looking，\'hesaid。
`Notevenattractive？\'shemocked，bitingly。
Heknittedhisbrowsinsuddenexasperation。
`Don\'tyouseethatit\'snotaquestionofvisualappreciationintheleast，\'hecried。`Idon\'twanttoseeyou。I\'veseenplentyofwomen，I\'msickandwearyofseeingthem。IwantawomanIdon\'tsee。\'
`I\'msorryIcan\'tobligeyoubybeinginvisible，\'shelaughed。
`Yes，\'hesaid，`youareinvisibletome，ifyoudon\'tforcemetobevisuallyawareofyou。ButIdon\'twanttoseeyouorhearyou。\'
`Whatdidyouaskmetoteafor，then？\'shemocked。
Buthewouldtakenonoticeofher。Hewastalkingtohimself。
`Iwanttofindyou，whereyoudon\'tknowyourownexistence，theyouthatyourcommonselfdeniesutterly。ButIdon\'twantyourgoodlooks，andIdon\'twantyourwomanlyfeelings，andIdon\'twantyourthoughtsnoropinionsnoryourideas——theyareallbagatellestome。\'
`Youareveryconceited，Monsieur，\'shemocked。`Howdoyouknowwhatmywomanlyfeelingsare，ormythoughtsormyideas？Youdon\'tevenknowwhatIthinkofyounow。\'
`NordoIcareintheslightest。\'
`Ithinkyouareverysilly。Ithinkyouwanttotellmeyouloveme，andyougoallthiswayroundtodoit。\'
`Allright，\'hesaid，lookingupwithsuddenexasperation。`Nowgoawaythen，andleavemealone。Idon\'twantanymoreofyourmeretriciouspersiflage。\'
`Isitreallypersiflage？\'shemocked，herfacereallyrelaxingintolaughter。Sheinterpretedit，thathehadmadeadeepconfessionoflovetoher。Buthewassoabsurdinhiswords，also。
Theyweresilentformanyminutes，shewaspleasedandelatedlikeachild。Hisconcentrationbroke，hebegantolookathersimplyandnaturally。
`WhatIwantisastrangeconjunctionwithyou——\'hesaidquietly;
`notmeetingandmingling——youarequiteright——butanequilibrium，apurebalanceoftwosinglebeings——asthestarsbalanceeachother。\'
Shelookedathim。Hewasveryearnest，andearnestnesswasalwaysratherridiculous，commonplace，toher。Itmadeherfeelunfreeanduncomfortable。
Yetshelikedhimsomuch。Butwhydraginthestars。
`Isn\'tthisrathersudden？\'shemocked。
Hebegantolaugh。
`Besttoreadthetermsofthecontract，beforewesign，\'hesaid。
Ayounggreycatthathadbeensleepingonthesofajumpeddownandstretched，risingonitslonglegs，andarchingitsslimback。Thenitsatconsideringforamoment，erectandkingly。Andthen，likeadart，ithadshotoutoftheroom，throughtheopenwindow—doors，andintothegarden。
`What\'sheafter？\'saidBirkin，rising。
Theyoungcattrottedlordlydownthepath，wavinghistail。Hewasanordinarytabbywithwhitepaws，aslenderyounggentleman。Acrouching，fluffy，brownish—greycatwasstealingupthesideofthefence。TheMinowalkedstatelilyuptoher，withmanlynonchalance。Shecrouchedbeforehimandpressedherselfonthegroundinhumility，afluffysoftoutcast，lookingupathimwithwildeyesthatweregreenandlovelyasgreatjewels。
Helookedcasuallydownonher。Soshecreptafewinchesfurther，proceedingonherwaytothebackdoor，crouchinginawonderful，soft，self—obliteratingmanner，andmovinglikeashadow。
He，goingstatelilyonhisslimlegs，walkedafterher，thensuddenly，forpureexcess，hegaveheralightcuffwithhispawonthesideofherface。Sheranoffafewsteps，likeablownleafalongtheground，thencrouchedunobtrusively，insubmissive，wildpatience。TheMinopretendedtotakenonoticeofher。Heblinkedhiseyessuperblyatthelandscape。
Inaminuteshedrewherselftogetherandmovedsoftly，afleecybrown—greyshadow，afewpacesforward。Shebegantoquickenherpace，inamomentshewouldbegonelikeadream，whentheyounggreylordsprangbeforeher，andgaveheralighthandsomecuff。Shesubsidedatonce，submissively。
`Sheisawildcat，\'saidBirkin。`Shehascomeinfromthewoods。\'
Theeyesofthestraycatflaredroundforamoment，likegreatgreenfiresstaringatBirkin。Thenshehadrushedinasoftswiftrush，halfwaydownthegarden。Thereshepausedtolookround。TheMinoturnedhisfaceinpuresuperioritytohismaster，andslowlyclosedhiseyes，standinginstatuesqueyoungperfection。Thewildcat\'sround，green，wonderingeyeswerestaringallthewhilelikeuncannyfires。Thenagain，likeashadow，sheslidtowardsthekitchen。
Inalovelyspringingleap，likeawind，theMinowasuponher，andhadboxedhertwice，verydefinitely，withawhite，delicatefist。Shesankandslidback，unquestioning。Hewalkedafterher，andcuffedheronceortwice，leisurely，withsuddenlittleblowsofhismagicwhitepaws。
`Nowwhydoeshedothat？\'criedUrsulainindignation。
`Theyareonintimateterms，\'saidBirkin。
`Andisthatwhyhehitsher？\'
`Yes，\'laughedBirkin，`Ithinkhewantstomakeitquiteobvioustoher。\'
`Isn\'tithorridofhim！\'shecried;andgoingoutintothegardenshecalledtotheMino:
`Stopit，don\'tbully。Stophittingher。\'
Thestraycatvanishedlikeaswift，invisibleshadow。TheMinoglancedatUrsula，thenlookedfromherdisdainfullytohismaster。
`Areyouabully，Mino？\'Birkinasked。
Theyoungslimcatlookedathim，andslowlynarroweditseyes。Thenitglancedawayatthelandscape，lookingintothedistanceasifcompletelyobliviousofthetwohumanbeings。
`Mino，\'saidUrsula，`Idon\'tlikeyou。Youareabullylikeallmales。\'
`No，\'saidBirkin，`heisjustified。Heisnotabully。Heisonlyinsistingtothepoorstraythatsheshallacknowledgehimasasortoffate，herownfate:becauseyoucanseesheisfluffyandpromiscuousasthewind。
Iamwithhimentirely。Hewantssuperfinestability。\'
`Yes，Iknow！\'criedUrsula。`Hewantshisownway——Iknowwhatyourfinewordsworkdownto——bossiness，Icallit，bossiness。\'
TheyoungcatagainglancedatBirkinindisdainofthenoisywoman。
`Iquiteagreewithyou，Miciotto，\'saidBirkintothecat。`Keepyourmaledignity，andyourhigherunderstanding。\'
AgaintheMinonarrowedhiseyesasifhewerelookingatthesun。Then，suddenlyaffectingtohavenoconnectionatallwiththetwopeople，hewenttrottingoff，withassumedspontaneityandgaiety，histailerect，hiswhitefeetblithe。
`Nowhewillfindthebellesauvageoncemore，andentertainherwithhissuperiorwisdom，\'laughedBirkin。
Ursulalookedatthemanwhostoodinthegardenwithhishairblowingandhiseyessmilingironically，andshecried:
`Ohitmakesmesocross，thisassumptionofmalesuperiority！Anditissuchalie！Onewouldn\'tmindiftherewereanyjustificationforit。\'
`Thewildcat，\'saidBirkin，`doesn\'tmind。Sheperceivesthatitisjustified。\'
`Doesshe！\'criedUrsula。`AndtellittotheHorseMarines。\'
`Tothemalso。\'
`ItisjustlikeGeraldCrichwithhishorse——alustforbullying——arealWillezurMacht——sobase，sopetty。\'
`IagreethattheWillezurMachtisabaseandpettything。ButwiththeMino，itisthedesiretobringthisfemalecatintoapurestableequilibrium，atranscendentandabidingrapportwiththesinglemale。Whereaswithouthim，asyousee，sheisamerestray，afluffysporadicbitofchaos。Itisavolontedepouvoir，ifyoulike，awilltoability，takingpouvoirasaverb。\'
`Ah——！Sophistries！It\'stheoldAdam。\'
`Ohyes。AdamkeptEveintheindestructibleparadise，whenhekepthersinglewithhimself，likeastarinitsorbit。\'
`Yes——yes——\'criedUrsula，pointingherfingerathim。`Thereyouare——astarinitsorbit！Asatellite——asatelliteofMars——that\'swhatsheistobe！There——there——you\'vegivenyourselfaway！Youwantasatellite，Marsandhissatellite！You\'vesaidit——you\'vesaidit——
you\'vedishedyourself！\'
Hestoodsmilinginfrustrationandamusementandirritationandadmirationandlove。Shewassoquick，andsolambent，likediscerniblefire，andsovindictive，andsorichinherdangerousflamysensitiveness。
`I\'venotsaiditatall，\'hereplied，`ifyouwillgivemeachancetospeak。\'
`No，no！\'shecried。`Iwon\'tletyouspeak。You\'vesaidit，asatellite，you\'renotgoingtowriggleoutofit。You\'vesaidit。\'
`You\'llneverbelievenowthatIhaven\'tsaidit，\'heanswered。
`Ineitherimpliednorindicatednormentionedasatellite，norintendedasatellite，never。\'
`Youprevaricator！\'shecried，inrealindignation。
`Teaisready，sir，\'saidthelandladyfromthedoorway。
Theybothlookedather，verymuchasthecatshadlookedatthem，alittlewhilebefore。
`Thankyou，MrsDaykin。\'
Aninterruptedsilencefelloverthetwoofthem，amomentofbreach。
`Comeandhavetea，\'hesaid。
`Yes，Ishouldloveit，\'shereplied，gatheringherselftogether。
Theysatfacingeachotheracrosstheteatable。
`Ididnotsay，norimply，asatellite。Imeanttwosingleequalstarsbalancedinconjunction——\'
`Yougaveyourselfaway，yougaveawayyourlittlegamecompletely，\'
shecried，beginningatoncetoeat。Hesawthatshewouldtakenofurtherheedofhisexpostulation，sohebegantopourthetea。
`Whatgoodthingstoeat！\'shecried。
`Takeyourownsugar，\'hesaid。
Hehandedherhercup。Hehadeverythingsonice，suchprettycupsandplates，paintedwithmauve—lustreandgreen，alsoshapelybowlsandglassplates，andoldspoons，onawovenclothofpalegreyandblackandpurple。
Itwasveryrichandfine。ButUrsulacouldseeHermione\'sinfluence。
`Yourthingsaresolovely！\'shesaid，almostangrily。
`Ilikethem。Itgivesmerealpleasuretousethingsthatareattractiveinthemselves——pleasantthings。AndMrsDaykinisgood。Shethinkseverythingiswonderful，formysake。\'
`Really，\'saidUrsula，`landladiesarebetterthanwives，nowadays。
Theycertainlycareagreatdealmore。Itismuchmorebeautifulandcompleteherenow，thanifyouweremarried。\'
`Butthinkoftheemptinesswithin，\'helaughed。
`No，\'shesaid。`Iamjealousthatmenhavesuchperfectlandladiesandsuchbeautifullodgings。Thereisnothingleftthemtodesire。\'
`Inthehouse—keepingway，we\'llhopenot。Itisdisgusting，peoplemarryingforahome。\'
`Still，\'saidUrsula，`amanhasverylittleneedforawomannow，hashe？\'
`Inouterthings，maybe——excepttosharehisbedandbearhischildren。
Butessentially，thereisjustthesameneedasthereeverwas。Onlynobodytakesthetroubletobeessential。\'
`Howessential？\'shesaid。
`Idothink，\'hesaid，`thattheworldisonlyheldtogetherbythemysticconjunction，theultimateunisonbetweenpeople——abond。Andtheimmediatebondisbetweenmanandwoman。\'
`Butit\'ssucholdhat，\'saidUrsula。`Whyshouldlovebeabond？No，I\'mnothavingany。\'
`Ifyouarewalkingwestward，\'hesaid，`youforfeitthenorthernandeastwardandsoutherndirection。Ifyouadmitaunison，youforfeitallthepossibilitiesofchaos。\'
`Butloveisfreedom，\'shedeclared。
`Don\'tcanttome，\'hereplied。`Loveisadirectionwhichexcludesallotherdirections。It\'safreedomtogether，ifyoulike。\'
`No，\'shesaid，`loveincludeseverything。\'
`Sentimentalcant，\'hereplied。`Youwantthestateofchaos，that\'sall。Itisultimatenihilism，thisfreedom—in—lovebusiness，thisfreedomwhichisloveandlovewhichisfreedom。Asamatteroffact，ifyouenterintoapureunison，itisirrevocable，anditisneverpuretillitisirrevocable。Andwhenitisirrevocable，itisoneway，likethepathofastar。\'
`Ha！\'shecriedbitterly。`Itistheolddeadmorality。\'
`No，\'hesaid，`itisthelawofcreation。Oneiscommitted。Onemustcommitoneselftoaconjunctionwiththeother——forever。Butitisnotselfless——itisamaintainingoftheselfinmysticbalanceandintegrity——likeastarbalancedwithanotherstar。\'
`Idon\'ttrustyouwhenyoudraginthestars，\'shesaid。`Ifyouwerequitetrue，itwouldn\'tbenecessarytobesofar—fetched。\'
`Don\'ttrustmethen，\'hesaid，angry。`ItisenoughthatItrustmyself。\'
`Andthatiswhereyoumakeanothermistake，\'shereplied。`Youdon\'ttrustyourself。Youdon\'tfullybelieveyourselfwhatyouaresaying。Youdon\'treallywantthisconjunction，otherwiseyouwouldn\'ttalksomuchaboutit，you\'dgetit。\'
Hewassuspendedforamoment，arrested。
`How？\'hesaid。
`Byjustloving，\'sheretortedindefiance。
Hewasstillamoment，inanger。Thenhesaid:
`Itellyou，Idon\'tbelieveinlovelikethat。Itellyou，youwantlovetoadministertoyouregoism，tosubserveyou。Loveisaprocessofsubserviencewithyou——andwitheverybody。Ihateit。\'
`No，\'shecried，pressingbackherheadlikeacobra，hereyesflashing。
`Itisaprocessofpride——Iwanttobeproud——\'
`Proudandsubservient，proudandsubservient，Iknowyou，\'heretorteddryly。`Proudandsubservient，thensubservienttotheproud——Iknowyouandyourlove。Itisatick—tack，tick—tack，adanceofopposites。\'
`Areyousure？\'shemockedwickedly，`whatmyloveis？\'
`Yes，Iam，\'heretorted。
`Sococksure！\'shesaid。`Howcananybodyeverberight，whoissococksure？
Itshowsyouarewrong。\'
Hewassilentinchagrin。
Theyhadtalkedandstruggledtilltheywerebothweariedout。
`Tellmeaboutyourselfandyourpeople，\'hesaid。
AndshetoldhimabouttheBrangwens，andabouthermother，andaboutSkrebensky，herfirstlove，andaboutherlaterexperiences。Hesatverystill，watchingherasshetalked。Andheseemedtolistenwithreverence。
Herfacewasbeautifulandfullofbaffledlightasshetoldhimallthethingsthathadhurtherorperplexedhersodeeply。Heseemedtowarmandcomforthissoulatthebeautifullightofhernature。
`Ifshereallycouldpledgeherself，\'hethoughttohimself，withpassionateinsistencebuthardlyanyhope。Yetacuriouslittleirresponsiblelaughterappearedinhisheart。
`Wehaveallsufferedsomuch，\'hemocked，ironically。
Shelookedupathim，andaflashofwildgaietywentoverherface，astrangeflashofyellowlightcomingfromhereyes。
`Haven\'twe！\'shecried，inahigh，recklesscry。`Itisalmostabsurd，isn\'tit？\'
`Quiteabsurd，\'hesaid。`Sufferingboresme，anymore。\'
`Soitdoesme。\'
Hewasalmostafraidofthemockingrecklessnessofhersplendidface。
Herewasonewhowouldgotothewholelengthsofheavenorhell，whichevershehadtogo。Andhemistrustedher，hewasafraidofawomancapableofsuchabandon，suchdangerousthoroughnessofdestructivity。Yethechuckledwithinhimselfalso。
Shecameovertohimandputherhandonhisshoulder，lookingdownathimwithstrangegolden—lightedeyes，verytender，butwithacuriousdevilishlooklurkingunderneath。
`Sayyouloveme，say\"mylove\"tome，\'shepleadedHelookedbackintohereyes，andsaw。Hisfaceflickeredwithsardoniccomprehension。
`Iloveyourightenough，\'hesaid，grimly。`ButIwantittobesomethingelse。\'
`Butwhy？Butwhy？\'sheinsisted，bendingherwonderfulluminousfacetohim。`Whyisn\'titenough？\'
`Becausewecangoonebetter，\'hesaid，puttinghisarmsroundher。
`No，wecan\'t，\'shesaid，inastrong，voluptuousvoiceofyielding。
`Wecanonlyloveeachother。Say\"mylove\"tome，sayit，sayit。\'
Sheputherarmsroundhisneck。Heenfoldedher，andkissedhersubtly，murmuringinasubtlevoiceoflove，andirony，andsubmission:
`Yes，——mylove，yes，——mylove。Letlovebeenoughthen。Iloveyouthen——Iloveyou。I\'mboredbytherest。\'
`Yes，\'shemurmured，nestlingverysweetandclosetohim。
WomenInLove:Chapter14CHAPTERXIVWater—partyEVERYYEARMrCrichgaveamoreorlesspublicwater—partyonthelake。Therewasalittlepleasure—launchonWilleyWaterandseveralrowingboats，andguestscouldtaketeaeitherinthemarqueethatwassetupinthegroundsofthehouse，ortheycouldpicnicintheshadeofthegreatwalnuttreeattheboat—housebythelake。ThisyearthestaffoftheGrammar—Schoolwasinvited，alongwiththechiefofficialsofthefirm。GeraldandtheyoungerCrichesdidnotcareforthisparty，butithadbecomecustomarynow，anditpleasedthefather，asbeingtheonlyoccasionwhenhecouldgathersomepeopleofthedistricttogetherinfestivitywithhim。Forhelovedtogivepleasurestohisdependentsandtothosepoorerthanhimself。Buthischildrenpreferredthecompanyoftheirownequalsinwealth。Theyhatedtheirinferiors\'humilityorgratitudeorawkwardness。
Neverthelesstheywerewillingtoattendatthisfestival，astheyhaddonealmostsincetheywerechildren，themoreso，astheyallfeltalittleguiltynow，andunwillingtothwarttheirfatheranymore，sincehewassoillinhealth。Therefore，quitecheerfullyLaurapreparedtotakehermother\'splaceashostess，andGeraldassumedresponsibilityfortheamusementsonthewater。
BirkinhadwrittentoUrsulasayingheexpectedtoseeherattheparty，andGudrun，althoughshescornedthepatronageoftheCriches，wouldneverthelessaccompanyhermotherandfatheriftheweatherwerefine。
Thedaycameblueandfullofsunshine，withlittlewaftsofwind。Thesistersbothworedressesofwhitecrepe，andhatsofsoftgrass。ButGudrunhadasashofbrilliantblackandpinkandyellowcolourwoundbroadlyroundherwaist，andshehadpinksilkstockings，andblackandpinkandyellowdecorationonthebrimofherhat，weighingitdownalittle。Shecarriedalsoayellowsilkcoatoverherarm，sothatshelookedremarkable，likeapaintingfromtheSalon。Herappearancewasasoretrialtoherfather，whosaidangrily:
`Don\'tyouthinkyoumightaswellgetyourselfupforaChristmascracker，an\'ha\'donewithit？\'
ButGudrunlookedhandsomeandbrilliant，andsheworeherclothesinpuredefiance。Whenpeoplestaredather，andgiggledafterher，shemadeapointofsayingloudly，toUrsula:
`Regarde，regardecesgens—la！Nesont—ilspasdeshibouxincroyables？\'
AndwiththewordsofFrenchinhermouth，shewouldlookoverhershoulderatthegigglingparty。