第19章
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  \"Aren’tyougoingtosing,Silvo?\"sheaskedteasingly。

  Theboyturnedonhissideandraisedhimselfonhiselbowforamoment。\"Notthisnight,SENORITA,\"hepleadedsoftly,\"notthisnight!\"Hedroppedbackagain,andlaywithhischeekonhisrightarm,thehandlyingpassiveonthesandabovehishead。

  \"Howdoesheflattenhimselfintothegroundlikethat?\"

  Theaaskedherself。\"IwishIknew。It’sveryeffective,somehow。\"

  AcrossthegulchtheKohlers’littlehousesleptamongitstrees,adarkspotonthewhitefaceofthedesert。Thewindowsoftheirupstairsbedroomwereopen,andPaulinahadlistenedtothedancemusicforalongwhilebeforeshedrowsedoff。Shewasalightsleeper,andwhenshewokeagain,aftermidnight,Johnny’sconcertwasatitsheight。

  Shelaystilluntilshecouldbearitnolonger。ThenshewakenedFritzandtheywentovertothewindowandleanedout。Theycouldhearclearlythere。

  \"DIETHEA,\"whisperedMrs。Kohler;\"itmustbe。ACH,WUNDERSCHON!\"

  Fritzwasnotsowideawakeashiswife。Hegruntedand

  scratchedonthefloorwithhisbarefoot。Theywerelis—

  teningtoaMexicanpart—song;thetenor,thenthesoprano,thenbothtogether;thebarytonejoinsthem,rages,isextinguished;thetenorexpiresinsobs,andthesopranofinishesalone。Whenthesoprano’slastnotediedaway,Fritznoddedtohiswife。\"JA,\"hesaid;\"SCHON。\"

  Therewassilenceforafewmoments。Thentheguitarsoundedfiercely,andseveralmalevoicesbeganthesextettefrom\"Lucia。\"Johnny’sreedytenortheyknewwell,andthebricklayer’sbig,opaquebarytone;theothersmightbeanybodyoverthere——justMexicanvoices。Thenattheappointed,attheacute,moment,thesopranovoice,likeafountainjet,shotupintothelight。\"HORCH!HORCH!\"theoldpeoplewhispered,bothatonce。Howitleapedfromamongthoseduskymalevoices!Howitplayedinandaboutandaroundandoverthem,likeagoldfishdartingamongcreekminnows,likeayellowbutterflysoaringaboveaswarmofdarkones。\"Ah,\"saidMrs。Kohlersoftly,\"thedearman;ifhecouldhearhernow!\"

  XI

  MRS。KRONBORGhadsaidthatTheawasnottobedisturbedonSundaymorning,andshesleptuntilnoon。Whenshecamedownstairsthefamilywerejustsittingdowntodinner,Mr。Kronborgatoneendofthelongtable,Mrs。Kronborgattheother。Anna,stiffandceremonious,inhersummersilk,satatherfather’sright,andtheboyswerestrungalongoneithersideofthetable。

  TherewasaplaceleftforTheabetweenhermotherandThor。Duringthesilencewhichprecededtheblessing,Theafeltsomethinguncomfortableintheair。Annaandherolderbrothershadloweredtheireyeswhenshecamein。Mrs。Kronborgnoddedcheerfully,andafterthebless—

  ing,asshebegantopourthecoffee,turnedtoher。

  \"Iexpectyouhadagoodtimeatthatdance,Thea。I

  hopeyougotyoursleepout。\"

  \"Highsociety,that,\"remarkedCharley,givingthemashedpotatoesaviciousswat。Anna’smouthandeye—

  browsbecamehalf—moons。

  Thealookedacrossthetableattheuncompromisingcountenancesofherolderbrothers。\"Why,what’sthematterwiththeMexicans?\"sheasked,flushing。\"Theydon’ttroubleanybody,andtheyarekindtotheirfamiliesandhavegoodmanners。\"

  \"Nicecleanpeople;gotsomestyleaboutthem。Doyoureallylikethatkind,Thea,ordoyoujustpretendto?

  That’swhatI’dliketoknow。\"Guslookedatherwithpainedinquiry。Butheatleastlookedather。

  \"They’rejustascleanaswhitepeople,andtheyhaveaperfectrighttotheirownways。OfcourseIlike’em。

  Idon’tpretendthings。\"

  \"Everybodyaccordingtotheirowntaste,\"remarked

  Charleybitterly。\"Quitcrumbingyourbreadup,Thor。

  Ain’tyoulearnedhowtoeatyet?\"

  \"Children,children!\"saidMr。Kronborgnervously,lookingupfromthechickenhewasdismembering。Heglancedathiswife,whomheexpectedtomaintainhar—

  monyinthefamily。

  \"That’sallright,Charley。Dropitthere,\"saidMrs。

  Kronborg。\"NousespoilingyourSundaydinnerwithraceprejudices。TheMexicanssuitmeandTheaverywell。Theyareausefulpeople。Nowyoucanjusttalkaboutsomethingelse。\"

  Conversation,however,didnotflourishatthatdinner。

  Everybodyateasfastaspossible。CharleyandGussaidtheyhadengagementsandleftthetableassoonastheyfinishedtheirapplepie。Annasatprimlyandatewithgreatelegance。Whenshespokeatallshespoketoherfather,aboutchurchmatters,andalwaysinacommiserat—

  ingtone,asifhehadmetwithsomemisfortune。Mr。

  Kronborg,quiteinnocentofherintentions,repliedkindlyandabsent—mindedly。AfterthedesserthewenttotakehisusualSundayafternoonnap,andMrs。Kronborgcarriedsomedinnertoasickneighbor。TheaandAnnabegantoclearthetable。

  \"Ishouldthinkyouwouldshowmoreconsiderationforfather’sposition,Thea,\"Annabeganassoonassheandhersisterwerealone。

  Theagaveherasidelongglance。\"Why,whathaveI

  donetofather?\"

  \"EverybodyatSunday—SchoolwastalkingaboutyougoingoverthereandsingingwiththeMexicansallnight,whenyouwon’tsingforthechurch。Somebodyheardyou,andtolditallovertown。Ofcourse,weallgettheblameforit。\"

  \"Anythingdisgracefulaboutsinging?\"Theaaskedwithaprovokingyawn。

  \"Imustsayyouchooseyourcompany!Youalways

  hadthatstreakinyou,Thea。Weallhopedthatgoingawaywouldimproveyou。Ofcourse,itreflectsonfatherwhenyouarescarcelypolitetothenicepeoplehereandmakeuptotherowdies。\"

  \"Oh,it’smysingingwiththeMexicansyouobjectto?\"

  Theaputdownatrayfullofdishes。\"Well,Iliketosingoverthere,andIdon’tliketooverhere。I’llsingforthemanytimetheyaskmeto。TheyknowsomethingaboutwhatI’mdoing。They’reatalentedpeople。\"

  \"Talented!\"Annamadethewordsoundlikeescapingsteam。\"Isupposeyouthinkit’ssmarttocomehomeandthrowthatatyourfamily!\"

  Theapickedupthetray。BythistimeshewasaswhiteastheSundaytablecloth。\"Well,\"sherepliedinacold,eventone,\"I’llhavetothrowitatthemsoonerorlater。

  It’sjustaquestionofwhen,anditmightaswellbenowasanytime。\"Shecarriedthetrayblindlyintothekitchen。

  Tillie,whowasalwayslisteningandlookingoutforher,tookthedishesfromherwithafurtive,frightenedglanceatherstonyface。Theawentslowlyupthebackstairstoherloft。Herlegsseemedasheavyasleadassheclimbedthestairs,andshefeltasifeverythinginsideherhadsolidi—

  fiedandgrownhard。

  Aftershuttingherdoorandlockingit,shesatdownontheedgeofherbed。Thisplacehadalwaysbeenherrefuge,buttherewasahostilityinthehousenowwhichthisdoorcouldnotshutout。Thiswouldbeherlastsummerinthatroom。Itsserviceswereover;itstimewasdone。Sheroseandputherhandonthelowceiling。Twotearsrandownhercheeks,asiftheycamefromicethatmeltedslowly。

  Shewasnotreadytoleaveherlittleshell。Shewasbeingpulledouttoosoon。Shewouldneverbeabletothinkanywhereelseaswellashere。Shewouldneversleepsowellorhavesuchdreamsinanyotherbed;evenlastnight,suchsweet,breathlessdreams——Theahidherfaceinthepillow。Wherevershewentshewouldliketotakethatlittle

  bedwithher。Whenshewentawayfromitforgood,shewouldleavesomethingthatshecouldneverrecover;mem—

  oriesofpleasantexcitement,ofhappyadventuresinhermind;ofwarmsleeponhowlingwinternights,andjoyousawakeningsonsummermornings。Therewerecertaindreamsthatmightrefusetocometoheratallexceptinalittlemorningcave,facingthesun——wheretheycametohersopowerfully,wheretheybeatatriumphinher!

  Theroomwashotasanoven。Thesunwasbeatingfiercelyontheshinglesbehindtheboardceiling。Sheun—

  dressed,andbeforeshethrewherselfuponherbedinherchemise,shefrownedatherselfforalongwhileinherlook—

  ing—glass。Yes,sheandItmustfightitouttogether。Thethingthatlookedatheroutofherowneyeswastheonlyfriendshecouldcounton。Oh,shewouldmakethesepeoplesorryenough!Therewouldcomeatimewhentheywouldwanttomakeitupwithher。But,neveragain!Shehadnolittlevanities,onlyonebigone,andshewouldneverforgive。

  Hermotherwasallright,buthermotherwasapartofthefamily,andshewasnot。Inthenatureofthings,hermotherhadtobeonbothsides。Theafeltthatshehadbeenbetrayed。Atrucehadbeenbrokenbehindherback。

  ShehadneverhadmuchindividualaffectionforanyofherbrothersexceptThor,butshehadneverbeendisloyal,neverfeltscornorheldgrudges。AsalittlegirlshehadalwaysbeengoodfriendswithGunnerandAxel,whenevershehadtimetoplay。Evenbeforeshegotherownroom,whentheywereallsleepinganddressingtogether,likelittlecubs,andbreakfastinginthekitchen,shehadledanabsorbingpersonallifeofherown。Butshehadacubloyaltytotheothercubs。Shethoughtthemniceboysandtriedtomakethemgettheirlessons。Sheoncefoughtabullywho\"pickedon\"Axelatschool。ShenevermadefunofAnna’scrimpingsandcurlingsandbeauty—rites。

  Theahadalwaystakenitforgrantedthathersisterand

  brothersrecognizedthatshehadspecialabilities,andthattheywereproudofit。Shehaddonethemthehonor,shetoldherselfbitterly,tobelievethatthoughtheyhadnoparticularendowments,THEYWEREOFHERKIND,andnotoftheMoonstonekind。Nowtheyhadallgrownupandbe—

  comepersons。Theyfacedeachotherasindividuals,andshesawthatAnnaandGusandCharleywereamongthepeoplewhomshehadalwaysrecognizedashernaturalenemies。Theirambitionsandsacredproprietiesweremeaninglesstoher。ShehadneglectedtocongratulateCharleyuponhavingbeenpromotedfromthegroceryde—

  partmentofCommings’sstoretothedrygoodsdepart—

  ment。Hermotherhadreprovedherforthisomission。Andhowwasshetoknow,Theaaskedherself,thatAnnaex—

  pectedtobeteasedbecauseBertRicenowcameandsatinthehammockwithhereverynight?No,itwasallclearenough。Nothingthatshewouldeverdointheworldwouldseemimportanttothem,andnothingtheywouldeverdowouldseemimportanttoher。

  Thealaythinkingintentlyallthroughthestiflingafter—

  noon。Tilliewhisperedsomethingoutsideherdooronce,butshedidnotanswer。Shelayonherbeduntilthesecondchurchbellrang,andshesawthefamilygotroopingupthesidewalkontheoppositesideofthestreet,Annaandherfatherinthelead。Annaseemedtohavetakenonaverystory—bookattitudetowardherfather;pat—

  ronizingandcondescending,itseemedtoThea。Theolderboyswerenotinthefamilyband。Theynowtooktheirgirlstochurch。Tilliehadstayedathometogetsupper。

  Theagotup,washedherhotfaceandarms,andputonthewhiteorgandiedressshehadwornlastnight;itwasgettingtoosmallforher,andshemightaswellwearitout。

  Aftershewasdressedsheunlockedherdoorandwentcau—

  tiouslydownstairs。Shefeltasifchillinghostilitiesmightbeawaitingherinthetrunkloft,onthestairway,almostanywhere。Inthedining—roomshefoundTillie,sittingby

  theopenwindow,readingthedramaticnewsinaDenverSundaypaper。Tilliekeptascrapbookinwhichshepastedclippingsaboutactorsandactresses。

  \"ComelookatthispictureofPaulineHallintights,Thea,\"shecalled。\"Ain’tshecute?It’stoobadyoudidn’tgotothetheatermorewhenyouwasinChicago;

  suchagoodchance!Didn’tyouevengettoseeClaraMorrisorModjeska?\"

  \"No;Ididn’thavetime。Besides,itcostsmoney,Tillie,\"Thearepliedwearily,glancingatthepaperTillieheldouttoher。

  Tillielookedupatherniece。\"Don’tyougoandbeupsetaboutanyofAnna’snotions。She’soneofthesenarrowkind。Yourfatherandmotherdon’tpayanyatten—

  tiontowhatshesays。Anna’sfussy;sheiswithme,butIdon’tmindher。\"

  \"Oh,Idon’tmindher。That’sallright,Tillie。IguessI’lltakeawalk。\"

  TheaknewthatTilliehopedshewouldstayandtalktoherforawhile,andshewouldhavelikedtopleaseher。

  Butinahouseassmallasthatone,everythingwastoointimateandmixeduptogether。Thefamilywasthefamily,anintegralthing。Onecouldn’tdiscussAnnathere。

  Shefeltdifferentlytowardthehouseandeverythinginit,asifthebatteredoldfurniturethatseemedsokindly,andtheoldcarpetsonwhichshehadplayed,hadbeennour—

  ishingasecretgrudgeagainstherandwerenottobetrustedanymore。

  Shewentaimlesslyoutofthefrontgate,notknow—

  ingwhattodowithherself。MexicanTown,somehow,wasspoiledforherjustthen,andshefeltthatshewouldhideifshesawSilvoorFelipecomingtowardher。Shewalkeddownthroughtheemptymainstreet。Allthestoreswereclosed,theirblindsdown。Onthestepsofthebanksomeidleboysweresitting,tellingdisgustingstoriesbecausetherewasnothingelsetodo。Severalofthemhadgone

  toschoolwithThea,butwhenshenoddedtothemtheyhungtheirheadsanddidnotspeak。Thea’sbodywasoftencuriouslyexpressiveofwhatwasgoingoninhermind,andto—nighttherewassomethinginherwalkandcarriagethatmadetheseboysfeelthatshewas\"stuckup。\"Ifshehadstoppedandtalkedtothem,theywouldhavethawedoutontheinstantandwouldhavebeenfriendlyandgrateful。ButTheawashurtafresh,andwalkedon,holdingherchinhigherthanever。AsshepassedtheDukeBlock,shesawalightinDr。Archie’soffice,andshewentupthestairsandopenedthedoorintohisstudy。Shefoundhimwithapileofpapersandaccount—

  booksbeforehim。Hepointedhertoheroldchairattheendofhisdeskandleanedbackinhisown,lookingatherwithsatisfaction。Howhandsomeshewasgrowing!

  \"I’mstillchasingtheelusivemetal,Thea,\"——hepointedtothepapersbeforehim,——\"I’muptomyneckinmines,andI’mgoingtobearichmansomeday。\"

  \"Ihopeyouwill;awfullyrich。That’stheonlythingthatcounts。\"Shelookedrestlesslyabouttheconsulting—

  room。\"Todoanyofthethingsonewantstodo,onehastohavelotsandlotsofmoney。\"

  Dr。Archiewasdirect。\"What’sthematter?Doyouneedsome?\"

  Theashrugged。\"Oh,Icangetalong,inalittleway。\"

  Shelookedintentlyoutofthewindowatthearcstreet—

  lampthatwasjustbeginningtosputter。\"Butit’ssillytoliveatallforlittlethings,\"sheaddedquietly。\"Living’stoomuchtroubleunlessonecangetsomethingbigoutofit。\"

  Dr。Archierestedhiselbowsonthearmsofhischair,droppedhischinonhisclaspedhandsandlookedather。

  \"Livingisnotroubleforlittlepeople,believeme!\"heexclaimed。\"Whatdoyouwanttogetoutofit?\"

  \"Oh——somanythings!\"Theashivered。

  \"Butwhat?Money?Youmentionedthat。Well,you

  canmakemoney,ifyoucareaboutthatmorethanany—

  thingelse。\"Henoddedpropheticallyabovehisinterlacingfingers。

  \"ButIdon’t。That’sonlyonething。Anyhow,I

  couldn’tifIdid。\"Shepulledherdresslowerattheneckasifsheweresuffocating。\"Ionlywantimpossiblethings,\"

  shesaidroughly。\"Theothersdon’tinterestme。\"

  Dr。Archiewatchedhercontemplatively,asifshewereabeakerfullofchemicalsworking。Afewyearsago,whensheusedtositthere,thelightfromunderhisgreenlamp—

  shadeusedtofallfulluponherbroadfaceandyellowpig—

  tails。Nowherfacewasintheshadowandthelineoflightfellbelowherbarethroat,directlyacrossherbosom。Theshrunkenwhiteorgandieroseandfellasifshewerestrug—

  glingtobefreeandtobreakoutofitaltogether。Hefeltthatherheartmustbelaboringheavilyinthere,buthewasafraidtotouchher;hewas,indeed。Hehadneverseenherlikethisbefore。Herhair,piledhighonherhead,gaveheracommandinglook,andhereyes,thatusedtobesoin—

  quisitive,werestormy。

  \"Thea,\"hesaidslowly,\"Iwon’tsaythatyoucanhaveeverythingyouwant——thatmeanshavingnothing,inreality。Butifyoudecidewhatitisyouwantmost,YOU

  CANGETIT。\"Hiseyecaughthersforamoment。\"Notevery—

  bodycan,butyoucan。Only,ifyouwantabigthing,you’vegottohavenerveenoughtocutoutallthat’seasy,everythingthat’stobehadcheap。\"Dr。Archiepaused。

  Hepickedupapaper—cutterand,feelingtheedgeofitsoftlywithhisfingers,headdedslowly,asiftohimself:——

  \"Heeitherfearshisfatetoomuch,Orhisdesertsaresmall,WhodaresnotputittothetouchTowin……orloseitall。\"

  Thea’slipsparted;shelookedathimfromunderafrown,searchinghisface。\"Doyoumeantobreakloose,too,and——dosomething?\"sheaskedinalowvoice。

  \"Imeantogetrich,ifyoucallthatdoinganything。

  I’vefoundwhatIcandowithout。Youmakesuchbar—

  gainsinyourmind,first。\"

  Theasprangupandtookthepaper—cutterhehadputdown,twistingitinherhands。\"Alongwhilefirst,some—

  times,\"shesaidwithashortlaugh。\"Butsupposeonecannevergetoutwhatthey’vegotinthem?Supposetheymakeamessofitintheend;thenwhat?\"Shethrewthepaper—cutteronthedeskandtookasteptowardthedoctor,untilherdresstouchedhim。Shestoodlookingdownathim。\"Oh,it’seasytofail!\"Shewasbreathingthroughhermouthandherthroatwasthrobbingwithexcitement。

  Ashelookedupather,Dr。Archie’shandstightenedonthearmsofhischair。HehadthoughtheknewTheaKron—

  borgprettywell,buthedidnotknowthegirlwhowasstandingthere。Shewasbeautiful,ashislittleSwedehadneverbeen,butshefrightenedhim。Herpalecheeks,herpartedlips,herflashingeyes,seemedsuddenlytomeanonething——hedidnotknowwhat。Alightseemedtobreakuponherfromfaraway——orperhapsfromfarwithin。Sheseemedtogrowtaller,likeascarfdrawnoutlong;lookedasifshewerepursuedandfleeing,and——yes,shelookedtormented。\"It’seasytofail,\"heheardhersayagain,\"andifIfail,you’dbetterforgetaboutme,forI’llbeoneoftheworstwomenthateverlived。I’llbeanawfulwoman!\"

  Intheshadowylightabovethelampshadehecaughtherglanceagainandhelditforamoment。Wildashereyeswere,thatyellowgleamatthebackofthemwasashardasadiamonddrill—point。Herosewithanervouslaughanddroppedhishandlightlyonhershoulder。\"No,youwon’t。You’llbeasplendidone!\"

  Sheshookhimoffbeforehecouldsayanythingmore,andwentoutofhisdoorwithakindofbound。Sheleftsoquicklyandsolightlythathecouldnotevenhearherfoot—

  stepinthehallwayoutside。Archiedroppedbackintohischairandsatmotionlessforalongwhile。

  Soitwent;onelovedaquaintlittlegirl,cheerful,in—

  dustrious,alwaysontherunandhustlingthroughhertasks;andsuddenlyonelosther。Hehadthoughtheknewthatchildlikethegloveonhishand。Butaboutthistallgirlwhothrewupherheadandglitteredlikethatallover,heknewnothing。Shewasgoadedbydesires,ambitions,revulsionsthatweredarktohim。Onethingheknew:theoldhighroadoflife,wornsafeandeasy,huggingthesunnyslopes,wouldscarcelyholdheragain。

  AfterthatnightTheacouldhaveaskedprettymuchanythingofhim。Hecouldhaverefusedhernothing。

  Yearsagoacraftylittlebunchofhairandsmileshadshownhimwhatshewanted,andhehadpromptlymarriedher。

  To—nightaverydifferentsortofgirl——drivenwildbydoubtsandyouth,bypovertyandriches——hadlethimseethefiercenessofhernature。Shewentoutstilldis—

  traught,notknowingorcaringwhatshehadshownhim。

  ButtoArchieknowledgeofthatsortwasobligation。Oh,hewasthesameoldHowardArchie!

  ThatSundayinJulywastheturning—point;Thea’speaceofminddidnotcomeback。Shefoundithardeventopracticeathome。Therewassomethingintheairtherethatfrozeherthroat。Inthemorning,shewalkedasfarasshecouldwalk。Inthehotafternoonsshelayonherbedinhernightgown,planningfiercely。Shehauntedthepost—office。Shemusthavewornapathinthesidewalkthatledtothepost—office,thatsummer。Shewastherethemomentthemail—sackscameupfromthedepot,morningandevening,andwhiletheletterswerebeingsortedanddistributedshepacedupanddownoutside,underthecottonwoodtrees,listeningtothethump,thump,thumpofMr。Thompson’sstamp。ShehunguponanysortofwordfromChicago;acardfromBowers,aletterfromMrs。Harsanyi,fromMr。Larsen,fromherlandlady,——anythingtoreassureherthatChicagowas

  stillthere。ShebegantofeelthesamerestlessnessthathadtorturedherthelastspringwhenshewasteachinginMoonstone。Supposeshenevergotawayagain,afterall?

  Supposeonebrokealegandhadtolieinbedathomeforweeks,orhadpneumoniaanddiedthere。Thedesertwassobigandthirsty;ifone’sfootslipped,itcoulddrinkoneuplikeadropofwater。

  Thistime,whenThealeftMoonstonetogobacktoChicago,shewentalone。Asthetrainpulledout,shelookedbackathermotherandfatherandThor。Theywerecalmandcheerful;theydidnotknow,theydidnotun—

  derstand。Somethingpulledinher——andbroke。ShecriedallthewaytoDenver,andthatnight,inherberth,shekeptsobbingandwakingherself。Butwhenthesunroseinthemorning,shewasfaraway。Itwasallbehindher,andsheknewthatshewouldnevercrylikethatagain。

  Peoplelivethroughsuchpainonlyonce;paincomesagain,butitfindsatoughersurface。Thearememberedhowshehadgoneawaythefirsttime,withwhatconfidenceineverything,andwhatpitifulignorance。Suchasilly!Shefeltresentfultowardthatstupid,good—naturedchild。Howmucholdershewasnow,andhowmuchharder!Shewasgoingawaytofight,andshewasgoingawayforever。

  EndofPartII

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