\"Andto—dayisthefirstofMay；May—day。\"Harsanyileanedforward，hiselbowsonhisknees，hishandslockedbetweenthem。\"Yes，Imusttalktoyouaboutsomething。
IhaveaskedMadisonBowerstoletmebringyoutohimonThursday，atyourusuallesson—time。HeisthebestvocalteacherinChicago，anditistimeyoubegantoworkseriouslywithyourvoice。\"
Thea’sbrowwrinkled。\"YoumeantakelessonsofBowers？\"
Harsanyinodded，withoutliftinghishead。
\"ButIcan’t，Mr。Harsanyi。Ihaven’tgotthetime，and，besides——\"sheblushedanddrewhershouldersupstiffly——\"besides，Ican’taffordtopaytwoteachers。\"
Theafeltthatshehadblurtedthisoutintheworstpossi—
bleway，andsheturnedbacktothekeyboardtohideherchagrin。
\"Iknowthat。Idon’tmeanthatyoushallpaytwoteachers。AfteryougotoBowersyouwillnotneedme。I
needscarcelytellyouthatIshan’tbehappyatlosingyou。\"
Theaturnedtohim，hurtandangry。\"ButIdon’twant
togotoBowers。Idon’twanttoleaveyou。What’sthematter？Don’tIworkhardenough？I’msureyouteachpeoplethatdon’ttryhalfashard。\"
Harsanyirosetohisfeet。\"Don’tmisunderstandme，MissKronborg。YouinterestmemorethananypupilI
have。Ihavebeenthinkingformonthsaboutwhatyououghttodo，sincethatnightwhenyoufirstsangforme。\"
Hewalkedovertothewindow，turned，andcametowardheragain。\"Ibelievethatyourvoiceisworthallthatyoucanputintoit。Ihavenotcometothisdecisionrashly。I
havestudiedyou，andIhavebecomemoreandmorecon—
vinced，againstmyowndesires。Icannotmakeasingerofyou，soitwasmybusinesstofindamanwhocould。I
haveevenconsultedTheodoreThomasaboutit。\"
\"ButsupposeIdon’twanttobeasinger？Iwanttostudywithyou。What’sthematter？DoyoureallythinkI’venotalent？Can’tIbeapianist？\"
Harsanyipacedupanddownthelongruginfrontofher。\"Mygirl，youareverytalented。Youcouldbeapianist，agoodone。Buttheearlytrainingofapianist，suchapianistasyouwouldwanttobe，mustbesomethingtremendous。Hemusthavehadnootherlifethanmusic。
Atyouragehemustbethemasterofhisinstrument。
Nothingcanevertaketheplaceofthatfirsttraining。Youknowverywellthatyourtechniqueisgood，butitisnotremarkable。Itwillneverovertakeyourintelligence。Youhaveafinepowerofwork，butyouarenotbynatureastu—
dent。Youarenotbynature，Ithink，apianist。Youwouldneverfindyourself。Intheefforttodoso，I’mafraidyourplayingwouldbecomewarped，eccentric。\"
Hethrewbackhisheadandlookedathispupilintentlywiththatoneeyewhichsometimesseemedtoseedeeperthananytwoeyes，asifitssinglenessgaveitprivileges。
\"Oh，Ihavewatchedyouverycarefully，MissKronborg。
Becauseyouhadhadsolittleandhadyetdonesomuchforyourself，Ihadagreatwishtohelpyou。Ibelievethatthe
strongestneedofyournatureistofindyourself，toemergeASyourself。UntilIheardyousingIwonderedhowyouweretodothis，butithasgrownclearertomeeveryday。\"
Thealookedawaytowardthewindowwithhard，nar—
roweyes。\"YoumeanIcanbeasingerbecauseIhaven’tbrainsenoughtobeapianist。\"
\"Youhavebrainsenoughandtalentenough。Buttodowhatyouwillwanttodo，ittakesmorethanthese——ittakesvocation。Now，Ithinkyouhavevocation，butforthevoice，notforthepiano。Ifyouknew，\"——hestoppedandsighed，——\"ifyouknewhowfortunateIsometimesthinkyou。Withthevoicethewayissomuchshorter，therewardsaremoreeasilywon。InyourvoiceIthinkNa—
tureherselfdidforyouwhatitwouldtakeyoumanyyearstodoatthepiano。Perhapsyouwerenotborninthewrongplaceafterall。Letustalkfranklynow。Wehaveneverdonesobefore，andIhaverespectedyourreticence。
Whatyouwantmorethananythingelseintheworldistobeanartist；isthattrue？\"
Sheturnedherfaceawayfromhimandlookeddownatthekeyboard。Heranswercameinathickenedvoice。
\"Yes，Isupposeso。\"
\"Whendidyoufirstfeelthatyouwantedtobeanartist？\"
\"Idon’tknow。Therewasalways——something。\"
\"Didyouneverthinkthatyouweregoingtosing？\"
\"Yes。\"
\"Howlongagowasthat？\"
\"Always，untilIcametoyou。Itwasyouwhomademewanttoplaypiano。\"Hervoicetrembled。\"Before，I
triedtothinkIdid，butIwaspretending。\"
Harsanyireachedoutandcaughtthehandthatwashangingatherside。Hepresseditasiftogivehersome—
thing。\"Can’tyousee，mydeargirl，thatwasonlybe—
causeIhappenedtobethefirstartistyouhaveeverknown？
IfIhadbeenatromboneplayer，itwouldhavebeenthesame；youwouldhavewantedtoplaytrombone。Butallthewhileyouhavebeenworkingwithsuchgood—will，somethinghasbeenstrugglingagainstme。See，herewewere，youandIandthisinstrument，\"——hetappedthepiano，——\"threegoodfriends，workingsohard。Butallthewhiletherewassomethingfightingus：yourgift，andthewomanyouweremeanttobe。Whenyoufindyourwaytothatgiftandtothatwoman，youwillbeatpeace。
Inthebeginningitwasanartistthatyouwantedtobe；
well，youmaybeanartist，always。\"
Theadrewalongbreath。Herhandsfellinherlap。
\"SoI’mjustwhereIbegan。Noteacher，nothingdone。
Nomoney。\"
Harsanyiturnedaway。\"Feelnoapprehensionaboutthemoney，MissKronborg。Comebackinthefallandweshallmanagethat。IshallevengotoMr。Thomasifneces—
sary。Thisyearwillnotbelost。Ifyoubutknewwhatanadvantagethiswinter’sstudy，allyourstudyofthepiano，willgiveyouovermostsingers。Perhapsthingshavecomeoutbetterforyouthanifwehadplannedthemknowingly。\"
\"YoumeantheyhaveIFIcansing。\"
Theaspokewithaheavyirony，soheavy，indeed，thatitwascoarse。ItgrateduponHarsanyibecausehefeltthatitwasnotsincere，anawkwardaffectation。
Hewheeledtowardher。\"MissKronborg，answermethis。YOUKNOWTHATYOUCANSING，doyounot？Youhavealwaysknownit。Whileweworkedheretogetheryousometimessaidtoyourself，`Ihavesomethingyouknownothingabout；Icouldsurpriseyou。’Isthatalsotrue？\"
Theanoddedandhungherhead。
\"Whywereyounotfrankwithme？DidInotdeserveit？\"
Sheshuddered。Herbentshoulderstrembled。\"Idon’tknow，\"shemuttered。\"Ididn’tmeantobelikethat。I
couldn’t。Ican’t。It’sdifferent。\"
\"Youmeanitisverypersonal？\"heaskedkindly。
Shenodded。\"Notatchurchorfunerals，orwithpeoplelikeMr。Larsen。Butwithyouitwas——personal。I’mnotlikeyouandMrs。Harsanyi。Icomeofroughpeople。
I’mrough。ButI’mindependent，too。Itwas——allIhad。
Thereisnousemytalking，Mr。Harsanyi。Ican’ttellyou。\"
\"Youneedn’ttellme。Iknow。Everyartistknows。\"
Harsanyistoodlookingathispupil’sback，bentasifshewerepushingsomething，atherloweredhead。\"Youcansingforthosepeoplebecausewiththemyoudonotcom—
mityourself。Butthereality，onecannotuncoverTHAT
untiloneissure。Onecanfailone’sself，butonemustnotlivetoseethatfail；betterneverrevealit。Letmehelpyoutomakeyourselfsureofit。ThatIcandobetterthanBowers。\"
Thealiftedherfaceandthrewoutherhands。
Harsanyishookhisheadandsmiled。\"Oh，promisenothing！Youwillhavemuchtodo。Therewillnotbevoiceonly，butFrench，German，Italian。Youwillhaveworkenough。Butsometimesyouwillneedtobeunder—
stood；whatyounevershowtoanyonewillneedcom—
panionship。Andthenyoumustcometome。\"Hepeeredintoherfacewiththatsearching，intimateglance。\"YouknowwhatImean，thethinginyouthathasnobusinesswithwhatislittle，thatwillhavetodoonlywithbeautyandpower。\"
Theathrewoutherhandsfiercely，asiftopushhimaway。Shemadeasoundinherthroat，butitwasnotarticulate。Harsanyitookoneofherhandsandkisseditlightlyupontheback。Hissalutewasoneofgreeting，notoffarewell，anditwasforsomeonehehadneverseen。
WhenMrs。Harsanyicameinatsixo’clock，shefoundherhusbandsittinglistlesslybythewindow。\"Tired？\"
sheasked。
\"Alittle。I’vejustgotthroughadifficulty。I’vesentMissKronborgaway；turnedherovertoBowers，forvoice。\"
\"SentMissKronborgaway？Andor，whatisthematterwithyou？\"
\"It’snothingrash。I’veknownforalongwhileIoughttodoit。Sheismadeforasinger，notapianist。\"
Mrs。Harsanyisatdownonthepianochair。Shespokealittlebitterly：\"Howcanyoubesureofthat？Shewas，atleast，thebestyouhad。Ithoughtyoumeanttohaveherplayatyourstudents’recitalnextfall。Iamsureshewouldhavemadeanimpression。Icouldhavedressedhersothatshewouldhavebeenverystriking。Shehadsomuchindividuality。\"
Harsanyibentforward，lookingatthefloor。\"Yes，I
know。Ishallmissher，ofcourse。\"
Mrs。Harsanyilookedatherhusband’sfineheadagainstthegraywindow。Shehadneverfeltdeepertendernessforhimthanshedidatthatmoment。Herheartachedforhim。\"Youwillnevergeton，Andor，\"shesaidmourn—
fully。
Harsanyisatmotionless。\"No，Ishallnevergeton，\"
herepeatedquietly。Suddenlyhesprangupwiththatlightmovementsheknewsowell，andstoodinthewindow，withfoldedarms。\"ButsomedayIshallbeabletolookherinthefaceandlaughbecauseIdidwhatIcouldforher。Ibelieveinher。Shewilldonothingcommon。Sheisuncommon，inacommon，commonworld。ThatiswhatIgetoutofit。Itmeansmoretomethanifsheplayedatmyconcertandbroughtmeadozenpupils。AllthisdrudgerywillkillmeifonceinawhileIcannothopesome—
thing，forsomebody！IfIcannotsometimesseeabirdflyandwavemyhandtoit。\"
Histonewasangryandinjured。Mrs。Harsanyiunder—
stoodthatthiswasoneofthetimeswhenhiswifewasapartofthedrudgery，ofthe\"common，commonworld。\"
Hehadletsomethinghecaredforgo，andhefeltbitterlyaboutwhateverwasleft。Themoodwouldpass，andhewouldbesorry。Sheknewhim。Itwoundedher，ofcourse，butthathurtwasnotnew。Itwasasoldasherloveforhim。Shewentoutandlefthimalone。
VIII
ONEwarmdampJunenighttheDenverExpresswasspeedingwestwardacrosstheearthy—smellingplainsofIowa。Thelightsintheday—coachwereturnedlowandtheventilatorswereopen，admittingshowersofsootanddustupontheoccupantsofthenarrowgreenplushchairswhichweretiltedatvariousanglesofdiscomfort。Ineachofthesechairssomeuncomfortablehumanbeinglaydrawnup，orstretchedout，orwrithingfromonepositiontoan—
other。Thereweretiredmeninrumpledshirts，theirnecksbareandtheirsuspendersdown；oldwomenwiththeirheadstiedupinblackhandkerchiefs；bedraggledyoungwomenwhowenttosleepwhiletheywerenursingtheirbabiesandforgottobuttonuptheirdresses；dirtyboyswhoaddedtothegeneraldiscomfortbytakingofftheirboots。Thebrakeman，whenhecamethroughatmidnight，sniffedtheheavyairdisdainfullyandlookedupattheventilators。Asheglanceddownthedoublerowsofcon—
tortedfigures，hesawonepairofeyesthatwerewideopenandbright，ayellowheadthatwasnotovercomebythestupefyingheatandsmellinthecar。\"There’sagirlforyou，\"hethoughtashestoppedbyThea’schair。
\"Liketohavethewindowupalittle？\"heasked。
Theasmiledupathim，notmisunderstandinghisfriend—
liness。\"Thegirlbehindmeissick；shecan’tstandadraft。
Whattimeisit，please？\"
Hetookouthisopen—facedwatchandhelditbeforehereyeswithaknowinglook。\"Inahurry？\"heasked。\"I’llleavetheenddooropenandairyouout。Catchawink；
thetime’llgofaster。\"
Theanoddedgood—nighttohimandsettledherheadbackonherpillow，lookingupattheoillamps。Shewas
goingbacktoMoonstoneforhersummervacation，andshewassittingupallnightinaday—coachbecausethatseemedsuchaneasywaytosavemoney。Atheragedis—
comfortwasasmallmatter，whenonemadefivedollarsadaybyit。Shehadconfidentlyexpectedtosleepafterthecargotquiet，butinthetwochairsbehindherwereasickgirlandhermother，andthegirlhadbeencoughingsteadilysinceteno’clock。TheyhadcomefromsomewhereinPennsylvania，andthiswastheirsecondnightontheroad。
ThemothersaidtheyweregoingtoColorado\"forherdaughter’slungs。\"ThedaughterwasalittleolderthanThea，perhapsnineteen，withpatientdarkeyesandcurlybrownhair。Shewasprettyinspiteofbeingsosootyandtravel—stained。Shehadputonanuglyfiguredsatinekimonooverherloosenedclothes。Thea，whensheboardedthetraininChicago，happenedtostopandplantherheavytelescopeonthisseat。Shehadnotintendedtoremainthere，butthesickgirlhadlookedupatherwithaneagersmileandsaid，\"Dositthere，miss。I’dsomuchrathernothaveagentlemaninfrontofme。\"
Afterthegirlbegantocoughtherewerenoemptyseatsleft，andiftherehadbeenTheacouldscarcelyhavechangedwithouthurtingherfeelings。Themotherturnedonhersideandwenttosleep；shewasusedtothecough。Butthegirllaywideawake，hereyesfixedontheroofofthecar，asThea’swere。Thetwogirlsmusthaveseenverydifferentthingsthere。
TheafelltogoingoverherwinterinChicago。Itwasonlyunderunusualoruncomfortableconditionslikethesethatshecouldkeephermindfixeduponherselforherownaffairsforanylengthoftime。Therapidmotionandthevibrationofthewheelsunderherseemedtogiveherthoughtsrapidityandclearness。ShehadtakentwentyveryexpensivelessonsfromMadisonBowers，butshedidnotyetknowwhathethoughtofherorofherability。Hewasdifferentfromanymanwithwhomshehadeverhad
todo。Withherotherteachersshehadfeltapersonalrelation；butwithhimshedidnot。Bowerswasacold，bitter，avariciousman，butheknewagreatdealaboutvoices。Heworkedwithavoiceasifhewereinalabora—
tory，conductingaseriesofexperiments。Hewasconscien—
tiousandindustrious，evencapableofacertaincoldfurywhenhewasworkingwithaninterestingvoice，butHar—
sanyideclaredthathehadthesoulofashrimp，andcouldnomoremakeanartistthanathroatspecialistcould。
Thearealizedthathehadtaughtheragreatdealintwentylessons。
AlthoughshecaredsomuchlessforBowersthanforHarsanyi，Theawas，onthewhole，happiersinceshehadbeenstudyingwithhimthanshehadbeenbefore。Shehadalwaystoldherselfthatshestudiedpianotofither—
selftobeamusicteacher。Butsheneveraskedherselfwhyshewasstudyingvoice。Hervoice，morethananyotherpartofher，hadtodowiththatconfidence，thatsenseofwholenessandinnerwell—beingthatshehadfeltatmo—
mentseversinceshecouldremember。
OfthisfeelingTheahadneverspokentoanyhumanbeinguntilthatdaywhenshetoldHarsanyithat\"therehadalwaysbeen——something。\"Hithertoshehadfeltbutoneobligationtowardit——secrecy；toprotectitevenfromherself。Shehadalwaysbelievedthatbydoingallthatwasrequiredofherbyherfamily，herteachers，herpupils，shekeptthatpartofherselffrombeingcaughtupinthemeshesofcommonthings。Shetookitforgrantedthatsomeday，whenshewasolder，shewouldknowagreatdealmoreaboutit。Itwasasifshehadanappoint—
menttomeettherestofherselfsometime，somewhere。
Itwasmovingtomeetherandshewasmovingtomeetit。Thatmeetingawaitedher，justassurelyas，forthepoorgirlintheseatbehindher，thereawaitedaholeintheearth，alreadydug。
ForThea，somuchhadbegunwithaholeintheearth。
Yes，shereflected，thisnewpartofherlifehadallbegunthatmorningwhenshesatontheclaybankbesideRayKen—
nedy，undertheflickeringshadeofthecottonwoodtree。
SherememberedthewayRayhadlookedatherthatmorning。Whyhadhecaredsomuch？AndWunsch，andDr。Archie，andSpanishJohnny，whyhadthey？Itwassomethingthathadtodowithherthatmadethemcare，butitwasnotshe。Itwassomethingtheybelievedin，butitwasnotshe。Perhapseachofthemconcealedanotherpersoninhimself，justasshedid。Whywasitthattheyseemedtofeelandtohuntforasecondpersoninherandnotineachother？Theafrownedupatthedulllampintheroofofthecar。Whatifone’ssecondselfcouldsome—
howspeaktoallthesesecondselves？Whatifonecouldbringthemout，aswhiskeydidSpanishJohnny’s？Howdeeptheylay，thesesecondpersons，andhowlittleoneknewaboutthem，excepttoguardthemfiercely。Itwastomusic，morethantoanythingelse，thatthesehiddenthingsinpeopleresponded。Hermother——evenhermo—
therhadsomethingofthatsortwhichrepliedtomusic。
Theafoundherselflisteningforthecoughingbehindherandnothearingit。Sheturnedcautiouslyandlookedbackoverthehead—restofherchair。Thepoorgirlhadfallenasleep。Thealookedatherintently。Whywasshesoafraidofmen？Whydidsheshrinkintoherselfandavertherfacewheneveramanpassedherchair？Theathoughtsheknew；ofcourse，sheknew。Howhorribletowasteawaylikethat，inthetimewhenoneoughttobegrowingfullerandstrongerandroundereveryday。Supposethereweresuchadarkholeopenforher，betweento—nightandthatplacewhereshewastomeetherself？Hereyesnar—
rowed。Sheputherhandonherbreastandfelthowwarmitwas；andwithinittherewasafull，powerfulpulsation。Shesmiled——thoughshewasashamedofit——withthenaturalcontemptofstrengthforweakness，withthesenseofphysicalsecuritywhichmakesthesavage
merciless。Nobodycoulddiewhiletheyfeltlikethatin—
side。Thespringstherewerewoundsotightthatitwouldbealongwhilebeforetherewasanyslackinthem。Thelifeintherewasrooteddeep。Shewasgoingtohaveafewthingsbeforeshedied。Sherealizedthattherewereagreatmanytrainsdashingeastandwestonthefaceofthecon—
tinentthatnight，andthattheyallcarriedyoungpeoplewhomeanttohavethings。ButthedifferencewasthatSHEWASGOINGTOGETTHEM！Thatwasall。Letpeopletrytostopher！Shegloweredattherowsoffecklessbodiesthatlaysprawledinthechairs。Letthemtryitonce！Alongwiththeyearningthatcamefromsomedeeppartofher，thatwasselflessandexalted，Theahadahardkindofcockiness，adeterminationtogetahead。Well，therearepassagesinlifewhenthatfierce，stubbornself—assertionwillstanditsgroundafterthenoblerfeelingisover—
whelmedandbeatenunder。
Havingtoldherselfoncemorethatshemeanttograbafewthings，Theawenttosleep。
Shewaswakenedinthemorningbythesunlight，whichbeatfiercelythroughtheglassofthecarwindowuponherface。Shemadeherselfascleanasshecould，andwhilethepeopleallaboutherweregettingcoldfoodoutoftheirlunch—basketssheescapedintothedining—car。Herthriftdidnotgotothepointofenablinghertocarryalunch—
basket。Atthatearlyhourtherewerefewpeopleinthedining—car。Thelinenwaswhiteandfresh，thedarkiesweretrimandsmiling，andthesunlightgleamedpleasantlyuponthesilverandtheglasswater—bottles。Oneachtabletherewasaslendervasewithasinglepinkroseinit。WhenTheasatdownshelookedintoherroseandthoughtitthemostbeautifulthingintheworld；itwaswideopen，recklesslyofferingitsyellowheart，andthereweredropsofwateronthepetals。Allthefuturewasinthatrose，allthatonewouldliketobe。Theflowerputherinanabsolutelyregalmood。Shehadawholepotofcoffee，andscrambledeggs
withchoppedham，utterlydisregardingtheastonishingpricetheycost。Shehadfaithenoughinwhatshecoulddo，shetoldherself，tohaveeggsifshewantedthem。Atthetableoppositehersatamanandhiswifeandlittleboy——Theaclassifiedthemasbeing\"fromtheEast。\"Theyspokeinthatquick，surestaccato，whichThea，likeRayKennedy，pretendedtoscornandsecretlyadmired。Peo—
plewhocouldusewordsinthatconfidentway，andwhospokethemelegantly，hadagreatadvantageinlife，shereflected。Thereweresomanywordswhichshecouldnotpronounceinspeechasshehadtodoinsinging。Lan—
guagewaslikeclothes；itcouldbeahelptoone，oritcouldgiveoneaway。Butthemostimportantthingwasthatoneshouldnotpretendtobewhatonewasnot。
Whenshepaidherchecksheconsultedthewaiter。
\"Waiter，doyousupposeIcouldbuyoneofthoseroses？
I’moutoftheday—coach，andthereisasickgirlinthere。
I’dliketotakeheracupofcoffeeandoneofthoseflowers。\"
Thewaiterlikednothingbetterthanadvisingtravelerslesssophisticatedthanhimself。HetoldTheatherewereafewrosesleftintheiceboxandhewouldgetone。Hetooktheflowerandthecoffeeintotheday—coach。Theapointedoutthegirl，butshedidnotaccompanyhim。Shehatedthanksandneverreceivedthemgracefully。Shestoodoutsideontheplatformtogetsomefreshairintoherlungs。ThetrainwascrossingthePlatteRivernow，andthesunlightwassointensethatitseemedtoquiverinlittleflamesontheglitteringsandbars，thescrubwil—
lows，andthecurling，frettedshallows。
Theafeltthatshewascomingbacktoherownland。
ShehadoftenheardMrs。Kronborgsaythatshe\"believedinimmigration，\"andsodidTheabelieveinit。Thisearthseemedtoheryoungandfreshandkindly，aplacewhererefugeesfromold，sadcountriesweregivenanotherchance。
Themereabsenceofrocksgavethesoilakindofamia—
bilityandgenerosity，andtheabsenceofnaturalbound—
ariesgavethespiritawiderrange。Wirefencesmightmarktheendofaman’spasture，buttheycouldnotshutinhisthoughtsasmountainsandforestscan。Itwasoverflatlandslikethis，stretchingouttodrinkthesun，thatthelarkssang——andone’sheartsangthere，too。Theawasgladthatthiswashercountry，evenifonedidnotlearntospeakelegantlythere。Itwas，somehow，anhonestcoun—
try，andtherewasanewsonginthatblueairwhichhadneverbeensungintheworldbefore。Itwashardtotellaboutit，forithadnothingtodowithwords；itwaslikethelightofthedesertatnoon，orthesmellofthesagebrushafterrain；intangiblebutpowerful。Shehadthesenseofgoingbacktoafriendlysoil，whosefriendshipwassome—
howgoingtostrengthenher；anaive，generouscountrythatgaveoneitsjoyousforce，itslarge—hearted，childlikepowertolove，justasitgaveoneitscoarse，brilliantflowers。
AsshedrewinthatgloriousairThea’smindwentbacktoRayKennedy。He，too，hadthatfeelingofempire；asifalltheSouthwestreallybelongedtohimbecausehehadknockedaboutoveritsomuch，andknewit，ashesaid，\"liketheblistersonhisownhands。\"Thatfeeling，shereflected，wastherealelementofcompanionshipbetweenherandRay。NowthatshewasgoingbacktoColorado，sherealizedthisasshehadnotdonebefore。