CHAPTERXXV
StableHartshorn—HowtoManageaHorseonaJourney—YourBestFriend。
OFonethingIamcertain，thatthereadermustbemuchdelightedwiththewholesomesmellofthestable，withwhichmanyofthesepagesareredolent；whatacontrasttothesicklyodoursexhaledfromthoseofsomeofmycontemporaries，especiallyofthosewhopretendtobeofthehighlyfashionableclass，andwhotreatofreception—rooms，wellmaytheybestyledso，inwhichdukes，duchesses，earls，countesses，archbishops，bishops，mayors，mayoresses—notforgettingthewritersthemselves，bothmaleandfemale—
congregateandpressupononeanother；howcheering，howrefreshing，afterhavingbeennearlyknockeddownwithsuchanatmosphere，tocomeincontactwithgenuinestablehartshorn。Oh！thereadershallhaveyetmoreofthestable，andofthatoldostler，forwhichheorshewilldoubtlessexclaim，\"Muchobliged！\"—and，lestIshouldforgettoperformmypromise，thereadershallhaveitnow。
Ishallneverforgetanharanguefromthemouthoftheoldman，whichIlistenedtoonewarmeveningasheandIsatonthethresholdofthestable，afterhavingattendedtosomeofthewantsofabatchofcoach—horses。Itrelatedtothemannerinwhichagentlemanshouldtakecareofhishorseandself，whilstengagedinajourneyonhorseback，andwasaddressedtomyself，onthesuppositionofmyonedaycomingtoanestate，andofcoursebecomingagentleman。
\"Whenyouareagentleman，\"saidhe，\"shouldyoueverjourneyonahorseofyourown，andyoucouldnothaveamuchbetterthantheoneyouhavehereeatingitsfillintheboxyonder—Iwonder，bythebye，howyouevercamebyit—youcan’tdobetterthanfollowtheadviceIamabouttogiveyou，bothwithrespecttoyouranimalandyourself。Beforeyoustart，merelygiveyourhorseacoupleofhandfulsofcornandalittlewater，somewhatunderaquart，andifyoudrinkapintofwateryourselfoutofthepail，youwillfeelallthebetterduringthewholeday；thenyoumaywalkandtrotyouranimalforabouttenmiles，tillyoucometosomeniceinn，whereyoumaygetdownandseeyourhorseledintoanicestall，tellingtheostlernottofeedhimtillyoucome。Iftheostlerhappenstobeadog—fancier，andhasanEnglishterrier—doglikethatofminethere，saywhatanicedogitis，andpraiseitsblackandtawn；andifhedoesnothappentobeadog—fancier，askhimhowhe’sgettingon，andwhetherheeverknewworsetimes；thatkindofthingwillpleasetheostler，andhewillletyoudojustwhatyoupleasewithyourownhorse，andwhenyourbackisturned，he’llsaytohiscomradeswhatanicegentlemanyouare，andhowhethinkshehasseenyoubefore；thengoandsitdowntobreakfast，and，beforeyouhavefinishedbreakfast，getupandgoandgiveyourhorseafeedofcorn；chatwiththeostlertwoorthreeminutestillyourhorsehastakentheshineoutofhiscorn，whichwillpreventtheostlertakinganyofitawaywhenyourbackisturned，forsuchthingsaresometimesdone—notthatIeverdidsuchathingmyselfwhenIwasattheinnatHounslow。Oh，dearme，no！Thengoandfinishyourbreakfast，andwhenyouhavefinishedyourbreakfastandcalledforthenewspaper，goandwateryourhorse，lettinghimhaveonepailful，thengivehimanotherfeedofcorn，andenterintodiscoursewiththeostleraboutbull—baiting，theprimeminister，andthelike；andwhenyourhorsehasoncemoretakentheshineoutofhiscorn，gobacktoyourroomandyournewspaper—andIhopeforyoursakeitmaybetheGLOBE，forthat’sthebestpapergoing—thenpullthebell—
ropeandorderinyourbill，whichyouwillpaywithoutcountingitup—supposingyoutobeagentleman。Givethewaitersixpence，andorderoutyourhorse，andwhenyourhorseisout，payforthecorn，andgivetheostlerashilling，thenmountyourhorseandwalkhimgentlyforfivemiles；andwhilstyouarewalkinghiminthismanner，itmaybeaswelltotellyoutotakecarethatyoudonotlethimdownandsmashhisknees，moreespeciallyiftheroadbeaparticularlygoodone，foritisnotatadesperatehivermanpace，andoververybadroads，thatahorsetumblesandsmasheshisknees，butonyourparticularlyniceroad，whenthehorseisgoinggentlyandlazily，andishalfasleep，likethegemmanonhisback；well，attheendofthefivemiles，whenthehorsehasdigestedhisfood，andisallright，youmaybegintopushyourhorseon，trottinghimamileataheat，andthenwalkinghimaquarterofaone，thathiswindmaybenotdistressed；andyoumaygooninthatwayforthirtymiles，nevergalloping，ofcourse，fornonebutfoolsorhivermenevergallophorsesonroads；andattheendofthatdistanceyoumaystopatsomeotherniceinntodinner。Isay，whenyourhorseisledintothestable，afterthatsamethirtymiles’trottingandwalking，don’tletthesaddlebewhiskedoffatonce，forifyoudoyourhorsewillhavesuchasorebackaswillfrightenyou，butletyoursaddleremainonyourhorse’sback，withthegirthsloosened，tillafterhisnextfeedofcorn，andbesurethathehasnocorn，muchlesswater，tillafteralonghourandmore；afterheisfedhemaybewateredtothetuneofhalfapail，andthentheostlercangivehimaregularrubdown；youmaythensitdowntodinner，andwhenyouhavedinedgetupandseetoyourhorseasyoudidafterbreakfast，infact，youmustdomuchafterthesamefashionyoudidatt’otherinn；seetoyourhorse，andbynomeansdisobligetheostler。Sowhenyouhaveseentoyourhorseasecondtime，youwillsitdowntoyourbottleofwine—supposingyoutobeagentleman—
andafteryouhavefinishedit，andyourargumentaboutthecorn—lawswithanycommercialgentlemanwhohappenstobeintheroom，youmaymountyourhorseagain—notforgettingtodotheproperthingtothewaiterandostler；youmaymountyourhorseagainandridehim，asyoudidbefore，foraboutfiveandtwentymiles，attheendofwhichyoumayputupforthenightafteraveryfairday’sjourney，fornogentleman—
supposingheweighssixteenstone，asIsupposeyouwillbythetimeyoubecomeagentleman—oughttorideahorsemorethansixty—fivemilesinoneday，providedhehasanyregardforhishorse’sback，orhisowneither。Seetoyourhorseatnight，andhavehimwellrubbeddown。Thenextdayyoumayrideyourhorsefortymiles，justasyouplease，butneverfoolishly，andthosefortymileswillbringyoutoyourjourney’send，unlessyourjourneybeaplaguylongone，andifso，neverrideyourhorsemorethanfiveandthirtymilesaday，always，however，seeinghimwellfed，andtakingmorecareofhimthanyourself；whichisbutrightandreasonable，seeingashowthehorseisthebestanimalofthetwo。\"
\"Whenyouareagentleman，\"saidhe，afterapause，\"thefirstthingyoumustthinkaboutistoprovideyourselfwithagoodhorseforyourownparticularriding；youwill，perhaps，keepacoachandpair，buttheywillbelessyourownthanyourlady’s，shouldyouhaveone，andyouryounggentry，shouldyouhaveany；or，ifyouhaveneither，formadam，yourhousekeeper，andtheupperfemaleservants；soyouneedtroubleyourheadlessaboutthem，though，ofcourse，youwouldnotliketopayawayyourmoneyforscrews；
butbesureyougetagoodhorseforyourownriding；andthatyoumayhaveagoodchanceofhavingagoodone，buyonethat’syoungandhasplentyofbelly—alittlemorethantheonehaswhichyounowhave，thoughyouarenotyetagentleman；youwill，ofcourse，looktohishead，hiswithers，legsandotherpoints，butneverbuyahorseatanypricethathasnotplentyofbelly；nohorsethathasnotbellyiseveragoodfeeder，andahorsethata’n’tagoodfeedercan’tbeagoodhorse；neverbuyahorsethatisdrawnupinthebellybehind；ahorseofthatdescriptioncan’tfeed，andcannevercarrysixteenstone。
\"Sowhenyouhavegotsuchahorsebeproudofit—asI
daresayyouareoftheoneyouhavenow—andwhereveryougosweartherea’n’tanothertomatchitinthecountry，andifanybodygivesyouthelie，takehimbythenoseandtweakitoff，justasyouwoulddoifanybodyweretospeakillofyourlady，or，forwantofher，ofyourhousekeeper。Takecareofyourhorse，asyouwouldoftheappleofyoureye—I
amsureIwould，ifIwereagentleman，whichIdon’teverexpecttobe，andhardlywish，seeingashowIamsixty—nine，andamrathertoooldtoride—yes，cherishandtakecareofyourhorseasperhapsthebestfriendyouhaveintheworld；
for，afterall，whowillcarryyouthroughthickandthinasyourhorsewill？notyourgentlemenfriends，Iwarrant，noryourupperservants，maleorfemale；perhapsyourladywould，thatis，ifsheisawhopper，andoneoftherightsort；theotherswouldbemorelikelytotakeupmudandpeltyouwithit，providedtheysawyouintrouble，thantohelpyou。Sotakecareofyourhorse，andfeedhimeverydaywithyourownhands；givehimthreequartersofapeckofcorneachday，mixedupwithalittlehay—chaff，andallowhimbesidesonehundredweightofhayinthecourseoftheweek；somesaythatthehayshouldbehardlandhay，becauseitisthewholesomest，butIsay，letitbecloverhay，becausethehorselikesitbest；givehimthroughsummerandwinter，onceaweek，apailfulofbranmash，coldinsummerandinwinterhot；ridehimgentlyabouttheneighbourhoodeveryday，bywhichmeansyouwillgiveexercisetoyourselfandhorse，and，moreover，havethesatisfactionofexhibitingyourselfandyourhorsetoadvantage，andhearing，perhaps，themensaywhatafinehorse，andtheladiessayingwhatafineman：
neverletyourgroommountyourhorse，asitistentoone，ifyoudo，yourgroomwillbewishingtoshowoffbeforecompany，andwillflingyourhorsedown。IwasgroomtoagemmanbeforeIwenttotheinnatHounslow，andflunghimahorsedownworthninetyguineas，byendeavouringtoshowoffbeforesomeladiesthatImetontheroad。TurnyourhorseouttograssthroughoutMayandthefirstpartofJune，forthenthegrassissweetest，andthefliesdon’tstingsobadastheydolaterinsummer；afterwardsmerelyturnhimoutoccasionallyintheswaleofthemornandtheevening；afterSeptemberthegrassisgoodforlittle，lashandsouratbest；everyhorseshouldgoouttograss，ifnothisbloodbecomesfullofgreasyhumours，andhiswindisapttobecomeaffected，butheoughttobekeptasmuchaspossiblefromtheheatandflies，alwaysgotupatnight，andneverturnedoutlateintheyear—Lord！ifIhadalwayssuchaniceattentivepersontolistentomeasyouare，Icouldgoontalkingabout’orsestotheendoftime。\"
CHAPTERXXVI
TheStage—CoachmenofEngland—ABullyServedOut—
Broughton’sGuard—TheBrazenHead。
ILIVEDonverygoodterms，notonlywiththemasterandtheoldostler，butwithallthedomesticsandhangersonattheinn；waiters，chambermaids，cooks，andscullions，notforgettingthe\"boots，\"ofwhichtherewerethree。Asforthepostillions，Iwasswornbrotherwiththemall，andsomeofthemwentsofarastoswearthatIwasthebestfellowintheworld；forwhichhighopinionentertainedbythemofme，IbelieveIwasprincipallyindebtedtothegoodaccounttheircomradegaveofme，whomIhadsohospitablyreceivedinthedingle。IrepeatthatIlivedongoodtermswithallthepeopleconnectedwiththeinn，andwasnoticedandspokenkindlytobysomeoftheguests—especiallybythatclasstermedcommercialtravellers—allofwhomweregreatfriendsandpatronizersofthelandlord，andweretheprincipalpromotersofthedinner，andsubscriberstothegiftofplate，whichIhavealreadyspokenof，thewholefraternitystrikingmeasthejolliestsetoffellowsimaginable，thebestcustomerstoaninn，andthemostliberaltoservants；
therewasonedescriptionofpersons，however，frequentingtheinn，whichIdidnotlikeatall，andwhichIdidnotgetonwellwith，andthesepeoplewerethestage—coachmen。
Thestage—coachmenofEngland，atthetimeofwhichIamspeaking，consideredthemselvesmightyfinegentry，nay，I
verilybelievethemostimportantpersonagesoftherealm，andtheirentertainingthishighopinionofthemselvescanscarcelybewonderedat；theywerelowfellows，butmastersatdriving；drivingwasinfashion，andsprigsofnobilityusedtodressascoachmenandimitatetheslangandbehaviourofthecoachmen，fromwhomoccasionallytheywouldtakelessonsindrivingastheysatbesidethemonthebox，whichpostofhonouranysprigofnobilitywhohappenedtotakeaplaceonacoachclaimedashisunquestionableright；andthesesprigswouldsmokecigarsanddrinksherrywiththecoachmeninbar—rooms，andontheroad；and，whenbiddingthemfarewell，wouldgivethemaguineaorahalf—guinea，andshakethembythehand，sothatthesefellows，beinglowfellows，verynaturallythoughtnosmallliquorofthemselves，butwouldtalkfamiliarlyoftheirfriendslordssoandso，thehonourablemisterssoandso，andSirHarryandSirCharles，andbewonderfullysaucytoanyonewhowasnotalord，orsomethingofthekind；andthishighopinionofthemselvesreceiveddailyaugmentationfromtheservilehomagepaidthembythegeneralityoftheuntitledmalepassengers，especiallythoseontheforepartofthecoach，whousedtocontendforthehonourofsittingontheboxwiththecoachmanwhennosprigwasnightoputinhisclaim。Oh！
whatservilehomagethesecravencreaturesdidpaythesesamecoachfellows，moreespeciallyafterwitnessingthisort’otheractofbrutalitypractisedupontheweakandunoffending—uponsomepoorfriendlesswomantravellingwithbutlittlemoney，andperhapsabraceofhungrychildrenwithher，oruponsomethinandhalf—starvedmantravellingonthehindpartofthecoachfromLondontoLiverpoolwithonlyeighteenpenceinhispocketafterhisfarewaspaid，todefrayhisexpensesontheroad；forastheinsolenceoftheseknightswasvast，sowastheirrapacityenormous；theyhadbeensolongaccustomedtohavecrownsandhalf—crownsraineduponthembytheiradmirersandflatterers，thattheywouldlookatashilling，forwhichmanyanhonestlabourerwashappytotoilfortenhoursunderabroilingsun，withtheutmostcontempt；wouldblowuponitderisively，orfillipitintotheairbeforetheypocketedit；butwhennothingwasgiventhem，aswouldoccasionallyhappen—forhowcouldtheyreceivefromthosewhohadnothing？andnobodywasboundtogivethemanything，astheyhadcertainwagesfromtheiremployers—thenwhatascenewouldensue！TrulythebrutalityandrapaciousinsolenceofEnglishcoachmenhadreachedaclimax；itwastimethatthesefellowsshouldbedisenchanted，andthetime—thankHeaven！—wasnotfardistant。Letthecravendastardswhousedtocurryfavourwiththem，andapplaudtheirbrutality，lamenttheirlossnowthattheyandtheirvehicleshavedisappearedfromtheroads；
I，whohaveeverbeenanenemytoinsolence，cruelty，andtyranny，loathetheirmemory，and，whatismore，amnotafraidtosayso，wellawareofthestormofvituperation，partlylearntfromthem，whichImayexpectfromthosewhousedtofalldownandworshipthem。
Amongstthecoachmenwhofrequentedtheinnwasonewhowascalled\"thebang—upcoachman。\"Hedrovetoourinn，intheforepartofeveryday，oneofwhatwerecalledthefastcoaches，andafterwardstookbackthecorrespondingvehicle。
Hestayedatourhouseabouttwentyminutes，duringwhichtimethepassengersofthecoachwhichhewastoreturnwithdined；thoseatleastwhowereinclinedfordinner，andcouldpayforit。Hederivedhissobriquetof\"thebang—upcoachman\"partlyfromhisbeingdressedintheextremityofcoachdandyism，andpartlyfromthepeculiarinsolenceofhismanner，andtheunmercifulfashioninwhichhewasinthehabitoflashingonthepoorhorsescommittedtohischarge。
Hewasalargetallfellow，ofaboutthirty，withafacewhich，haditnotbeenbloatedbyexcess，andinsolenceandcrueltystampedmostvisiblyuponit，mighthavebeencalledgood—looking。Hisinsolenceindeedwassogreat，thathewashatedbyalltheminorfryconnectedwithcoachesalongtheroaduponwhichhedrove，especiallytheostlers，whomhewascontinuallyabusingorfindingfaultwith。Manywastheheartycursewhichhereceivedwhenhisbackwasturned；butthegeneralityofpeopleweremuchafraidofhim，forhewasaswingingstrongfellow，andhadthereputationofbeingafighter，andinoneortwoinstanceshadbeateninabarbarousmannerindividualswhohadquarrelledwithhim。
Iwasnearlyhavingafracaswiththisworthy。Oneday，afterhehadbeendrinkingsherrywithasprig，heswaggeredintotheyardwhereIhappenedtobestanding；justthenawaitercamebycarryinguponatraypartofasplendidCheshirecheese，withaknife，plate，andnapkin。Stoppingthewaiter，thecoachmancutwiththeknifeatolerablylargelumpoutoftheverymiddleofthecheese，stuckitontheendoftheknife，andputtingittohismouthnibbledaslightpieceoffit，andthen，tossingtherestawaywithdisdain，flungtheknifedownuponthetray，motioningthewaitertoproceed；\"Iwish，\"saidI，\"youmaynotwantbeforeyoudiewhatyouhavejustflungaway，\"whereuponthefellowturnedfuriouslytowardsme；justthen，however，hiscoachbeingstandingatthedoor，therewasacryforcoachman，sothathewasforcedtodepart，contentinghimselfforthepresentwithshakinghisfistatme，andthreateningtoservemeoutonthefirstopportunity；before，however，theopportunityoccurredhehimselfgotservedoutinamostunexpectedmanner。
Thedayafterthisincidenthedrovehiscoachtotheinn，andafterhavingdismountedandreceivedthecontributionsofthegeneralityofthepassengers，hestruttedup，withacigarinhismouth，toanindividualwhohadcomewithhim，andwhohadjustaskedmeaquestionwithrespecttothedirectionofavillageaboutthreemilesoff，towhichhewasgoing。\"Rememberthecoachman，\"saidtheknightoftheboxtothisindividual，whowasathinpersonofaboutsixty，withawhitehat，rathershabbyblackcoat，andbuff—colouredtrousers，andwhoheldanumbrellaandasmallbundleinhishand。\"Ifyouexpectmetogiveyouanything，\"saidhetothecoachman，\"youaremistaken；Iwillgiveyounothing。
YouhavebeenveryinsolenttomeasIrodebehindyouonthecoach，andhaveencouragedtwoorthreetrumperyfellows，whorodealongwithyou，tocutscurvyjokesatmyexpense，andnowyoucometomeformoney；Iamnotsopoor，butIcouldhavegivenyouashillinghadyoubeencivil；asitis，I
willgiveyounothing。\"\"Oh！youwon’t，won’tyou？\"saidthecoachman；\"dearme！IhopeIshan’tstarvebecauseyouwon’tgivemeanything—ashillingIwhy，IcouldaffordtogiveyoutwentyifIthoughtfit，youpauper！civiltoyou，indeed！thingsarecometoafinepassifIneedbeciviltoyou！Doyouknowwhoyouarespeakingto？why，thebestlordsinthecountryareproudtospeaktome。Why，itwasonlytheotherdaythattheMarquisof—saidtome—\"andthenhewentontosaywhattheMarquissaidtohim；afterwhich，flingingdownhiscigar，hestrutteduptheroad，swearingtohimselfaboutpaupers。
\"Yousayitisthreemilesto—，\"saidtheindividualtome；
\"IthinkIshalllightmypipe，andsmokeitasIgoalong。\"
Thereuponhetookoutfromaside—pocketatobacco—boxandshortmeerschaumpipe，andimplementsforstrikingalight，filledhispipe，lightedit，andcommencedsmoking。
Presentlythecoachmandrewnear。Isawatoncethattherewasmischiefinhiseye；themansmokingwasstandingwithhisbacktowardshim，andhecamesonightohim，seeminglypurposely，thatashepassedapuffofsmokecameofnecessityagainsthisface。\"Whatdoyoumeanbysmokinginmyface？\"saidhe，strikingthepipeoftheelderlyindividualoutofhismouth。Theother，withoutmanifestingmuchsurprise，said，\"Ithankyou；andifyouwillwaitaminute，Iwillgiveyouareceiptforthatfavour；\"thengatheringuphispipe，andtakingoffhiscoatandhat，helaidthemonastepping—blockwhichstoodnear，andrubbinghishandstogether，headvancedtowardsthecoachmaninanattitudeofoffence，holdinghishandscrossedveryneartohisface。Thecoachman，whoprobablyexpectedanythingbutsuchamovementfromapersonoftheageandappearanceoftheindividualwhomhehadinsulted，stoodforamomentmotionlesswithsurprise；but，recollectinghimself，hepointedathimderisivelywithhisfinger；thenextmoment，however，theotherwascloseuponhim，hadstruckasidetheextendedhandwithhisleftfist，andgivenhimasevereblowonthenosewithhisright，whichheimmediatelyfollowedbyaleft—handblowintheeye；thendrawinghisbodyslightlybackward，withthevelocityoflightninghestruckthecoachmanfullinthemouth，andthelastblowwastheseverestofall，foritcutthecoachman’slipsnearlythrough；blowssoquicklyandsharplydealtIhadneverseen。
Thecoachmanreeledlikeafir—treeinagale，andseemednearlyunsensed。\"Ho！what’sthis？afight！afight！\"
soundedfromadozenvoices，andpeoplecamerunningfromalldirectionstoseewhatwasgoingon。Thecoachman，comingsomewhattohimself，disencumberedhimselfofhiscoatandhat；and，encouragedbytwoorthreeofhisbrothersofthewhip，showedsomesymptomsoffighting，endeavouringtoclosewithhisfoe，buttheattemptwasvain，forhisfoewasnottobeclosedwith；hedidnotshiftordodgeabout，butwardedofftheblowsofhisopponentwiththegreatestsang—
froid，alwaysusingtheguardwhichIhavealreadydescribed，andputtingin，inreturn，shortchoppingblowswiththeswiftnessoflightning。Inaveryfewminutesthecountenanceofthecoachmanwasliterallycuttopieces，andseveralofhisteethweredislodged；atlengthhegavein；
stungwithmortification，however，herepented，andaskedforanotherround；itwasgranted，tohisowncompletedemolition。Thecoachmandidnotdrivehiscoachbackthatday，hedidnotappearontheboxagainforaweek；butheneverhelduphisheadafterwards。BeforeIquittedtheinn，hehaddisappearedfromtheroad，goingnooneknewwhere。
Thecoachman，asIhavesaidbefore，wasverymuchdislikedupontheroad，buttherewasanespritdecorpsamongstthecoachmen，andthosewhostoodbydidnotliketoseetheirbrotherchastisedinsuchtremendousfashion。\"Ineversawsuchafightbefore，\"saidone。\"Fight！why，Idon’tcallitafightatall；thischaphereha’n’tgotascratch，whereasTomiscuttopieces；itisallalongofthatguardofhis；
ifTomcouldhavegotwithinhisguardhewouldhavesoonservedtheoldchapout。\"\"Sohewould，\"saidanother，\"itwasallowingtothatguard。However，IthinkIseeintoit，andifIhadnottodrivethisafternoon，Iwouldhaveaturnwiththeoldfellowandsoonservehimout。\"\"Iwillfighthimnowforaguinea，\"saidtheothercoachman，halftakingoffhiscoat；observing，however，thattheelderlyindividualmadeamotiontowardshim，hehitchedituponhisshoulderagain，andadded，\"thatis，ifhehadnotbeenfightingalready，butasitis，Iamabovetakinganadvantage，especiallyofsuchapooroldcreatureasthat。\"Andwhenhehadsaidthis，helookedaroundhim，andtherewasafeebletitterofapprobationfromtwoorthreeofthecravencrew，whowereinthehabitofcurryingfavourwiththecoachmen。
Theelderlyindividuallookedforamomentattheselast，andthensaid，\"TosuchfellowsasyouIhavenothingtosay；\"
thenturningtothecoachmen，\"andasforyou，\"hesaid，\"yecowardlybullies，Ihavebutoneword，whichis，thatyourreignupontheroadsisnearlyover，andthatatimeiscomingwhenyewillnolongerbewantedoremployedinyourpresentcapacity，whenyewilleitherhavetodrivedung—
carts，assistasostlersatvillageale—houses，orrotintheworkhouse。\"Thenputtingonhiscoatandhat，andtakinguphisbundle，notforgettinghismeerschaum，andtherestofhissmokingapparatus，hedepartedonhisway。Filledwithcuriosity，Ifollowedhim。
\"Iamquiteastonishedthatyoushouldbeabletouseyourhandsinthewayyouhavedone，\"saidI，asIwalkedwiththisindividualinthedirectioninwhichhewasbound。
\"IwilltellyouhowIbecameabletodoso，\"saidtheelderlyindividual，proceedingtofillandlighthispipeashewalkedalong。\"Myfatherwasajourneymanengraver，wholivedinaveryriotousneighbourhoodintheoutskirtsofLondon。Wishingtogivemesomethingofaneducation，hesentmetoaday—school，twoorthreestreetsdistantfromwherewelived，andthere，beingratherapunyboy，I
sufferedmuchpersecutionfrommyschoolfellows，whowereaveryblackguardset。Oneday，asIwasrunninghome，withoneofmytormentorspursuingme，oldSergeantBroughton，theretiredfighting—man，seizedmebythearm—\"
\"Dearme，\"saidI，\"hasiteverbeenyourlucktobeacquaintedwithSergeantBroughton？\"
\"Youmaywellcallitluck，\"saidtheelderlyindividual；butforhimIshouldneverhavebeenabletomakemywaythroughtheworld。Helivedonlyfourdoorsfromourhouse；so，asI
wasrunningalongthestreet，withmytyrantbehindme，SergeantBroughtonseizedmebythearm。’Stop，myboy，’
saidhe；’Ihavefrequentlyseenthatscampill—treatingyou；
nowIwillteachyouhowtosendhimhomewithabloodynose；
downwithyourbagofbooks；andnow，mygamechick，’
whisperedhetome，placinghimselfbetweenmeandmyadversary，sothathecouldnotobservehismotions；’clenchyourfistinthismanner，andholdyourarmsinthis，andwhenhestrikesatyou，movethemasInowshowyou，andhecan’thurtyou；now，don’tbeafraid，butgoathim。’I