PROLOGUE
Yearsago，whenIwasverysmall，welivedinagreathouseinalong，straight，brown—colouredstreet，intheeastendofLondon。
Itwasanoisy，crowdedstreetinthedaytime；butasilent，lonesomestreetatnight，whenthegas—lights，fewandfarbetween，partookofthecharacteroflighthousesratherthanofilluminants，andthetramp，trampofthepolicemanonhislongbeatseemedtobeeverdrawingnearer，orfadingaway，exceptforbriefmomentswhenthefootstepsceased，ashepausedtorattleadoororwindow，ortoflashhislanternintosomedarkpassageleadingdowntowardstheriver。
Thehousehadmanyadvantages，somyfatherwouldexplaintofriendswhoexpressedsurpriseathischoosingsucharesidence，andamongthesewasincludedinmyownsmallmorbidmindthecircumstancethatitsbackwindowscommandedanuninterruptedviewofanancientandmuch—peopledchurchyard。OftenofanightwouldIstealfrombetweenthesheets，andclimbinguponthehighoakchestthatstoodbeforemybedroomwindow，sitpeeringdownfearfullyupontheagedgraytombstonesfarbelow，wonderingwhethertheshadowsthatcreptamongthemmightnotbeghosts——soiledghoststhathadlosttheirnaturalwhitenessbylongexposuretothecity’ssmoke，andhadgrowndingy，likethesnowthatsometimeslaythere。
Ipersuadedmyselfthattheywereghosts，andcame，atlength，tohavequiteafriendlyfeelingforthem。Iwonderedwhattheythoughtwhentheysawthefadinglettersoftheirownnamesuponthestones，whethertheyrememberedthemselvesandwishedtheywerealiveagain，orwhethertheywerehappierastheywere。Butthatseemedastillsadderidea。
Onenight，asIsattherewatching，Ifeltahanduponmyshoulder。
Iwasnotfrightened，becauseitwasasoft，gentlehandthatIwellknew，soImerelylaidmycheekagainstit。
\"What’smumma’snaughtyboydoingoutofbed？ShallIbeathim？\"
Andtheotherhandwaslaidagainstmyothercheek，andIcouldfeelthesoftcurlsminglingwithmyown。
\"Onlylookingattheghosts，ma，\"Ianswered。\"There’ssuchalotof’emdownthere。\"ThenIadded，musingly，\"Iwonderwhatitfeelsliketobeaghost。\"
Mymothersaidnothing，buttookmeupinherarms，andcarriedmebacktobed，andthen，sittingdownbesideme，andholdingmyhandinhers——therewasnotsoverymuchdifferenceinthesize——begantosinginthatlow，caressingvoiceofhersthatalwaysmademefeel，forthetimebeing，thatIwantedtobeagoodboy，asongsheoftenusedtosingtome，andthatIhaveneverheardanyoneelsesingsince，andshouldnotcareto。
Butwhileshesang，somethingfellonmyhandthatcausedmetositupandinsistonexamininghereyes。Shelaughed；ratherastrange，brokenlittlelaugh，Ithought，andsaiditwasnothing，andtoldmetoliestillandgotosleep。SoIwriggleddownagainandshutmyeyestight，butIcouldnotunderstandwhathadmadehercry。
Poorlittlemother，shehadanotion，foundedevidentlyuponinbornbeliefratherthanuponobservation，thatallchildrenwereangels，andthat，inconsequence，analtogetherexceptionaldemandexistedfortheminacertainotherplace，wheretherearemoreopeningsforangels，renderingtheirretentioninthisworlddifficultandundependable。Mytalkaboutghostsmusthavemadethatfoolishlyfondheartachewithavaguedreadthatnight，andformanyanightonward，Ifear。
ForsometimeafterthisIwouldoftenlookuptofindmymother’seyesfixeduponme。Especiallycloselydidshewatchmeatfeedingtimes，andontheseoccasions，asthemealprogressed，herfacewouldacquireanexpressionofsatisfactionandrelief。
Once，duringdinner，Iheardherwhispertomyfather（forchildrenarenotquitesodeafastheireldersthink），\"Heseemstoeatallright。\"
\"Eat！\"repliedmyfatherinthesamepenetratingundertone；\"ifhediesofanything，itwillbeofeating。\"
Somylittlemothergrewlesstroubled，and，asthedayswentby，sawreasontothinkthatmybrotherangelsmightconsenttodowithoutmeforyetawhilelonger；andI，puttingawaythechildwithhisghostlyfancies，became，incourseoftime，agrown—upperson，andceasedtobelieveinghosts，togetherwithmanyotherthingsthat，perhaps，itwerebetterforamanifhedidbelievein。
Butthememoryofthatdingygraveyard，andoftheshadowsthatdwelttherein，camebacktomeveryvividlytheotherday，foritseemedtomeasthoughIwereaghostmyself，glidingthroughthesilentstreetswhereonceIhadpassedswiftly，fulloflife。
Divingintoalongunopeneddrawer，Ihad，bychance，drawnforthadustyvolumeofmanuscript，labelleduponitstornbrownpapercover，NOVELNOTES。Thescentofdeaddaysclungtoitsdogs’—earedpages；and，asitlayopenbeforeme，mymemorywanderedbacktothesummerevenings——notsoverylongago，perhaps，ifonebutaddsuptheyears，butalong，longwhileagoifonemeasuresTimebyfeeling——whenfourfriendshadsattogethermakingit，whowouldneversittogetheranymore。WitheachcrumpledleafIturned，theuncomfortableconvictionthatIwasonlyaghost，grewstronger。
Thehandwritingwasmyown，butthewordswerethewordsofastranger，sothatasIreadIwonderedtomyself，saying：didI
everthinkthis？didIreallyhopethat？didIplantodothis？didIresolvetobesuch？doeslife，then，looksototheeyesofayoungman？notknowingwhethertosmileorsigh。
Thebookwasacompilation，halfdiary，halfmemoranda。Initlaytherecordofmanymusings，ofmanytalks，andoutofit——selectingwhatseemedsuitable，adding，altering，andarranging——Ihaveshapedthechaptersthathereafterfollow。
ThatIhavearighttodosoIhavefullysatisfiedmyownconscience，anexceptionallyfussyone。Ofthefourjointauthors，hewhomIcall\"MacShaughnassy\"haslaidasidehistitletoallthingsbeyondsixfeetofsun—scorchedgroundintheAfricanveldt；
whilefromhimIhavedesignated\"Brown\"Ihaveborrowedbutlittle，andthatlittleImayfairlyclaimtohavemademyownbyreasonoftheartisticmeritwithwhichIhaveembellishedit。Indeed，inthustakingafewofhisbaldideasandshapingthemintoreadableform，amInotdoinghimakindness，andtherebyreturninggoodforevil？Forhashenot，slippingfromthehighambitionofhisyouth，sunkeverdownwardstepbystep，untilhehasbecomeacritic，and，therefore，mynaturalenemy？Doeshenot，inthecolumnsofacertainjournaloflargepretensionbutsmallcirculation，callme\"’Arry\"（withoutan\"H，\"thesatiricalrogue），andisnothiscontemptfortheEnglish—speakingpeoplebasedchieflyuponthefactthatsomeofthemreadmybooks？ButinthedaysofBloomsburylodgingsandfirst—nightpitswethoughteachotherclever。
From\"Jephson\"Iholdaletter，datedfromastationdeepintheheartoftheQueenslandbush。\"Dowhatyoulikewithit，dearboy，\"
theletterruns，\"solongasyoukeepmeoutofit。Thanksforyourcomplimentaryregrets，butIcannotsharethem。Iwasneverfittedforaliterarycareer。Luckyforme，Ifounditoutintime。Somepoordevilsdon’t。（I’mnotgettingatyou，oldman。Wereadallyourstuff，andlikeitverymuch。Timehangsabitheavy，youknow，here，inthewinter，andwearegladofalmostanything。）
Thislifesuitsmebetter。Ilovetofeelmyhorsebetweenmythighs，andthesunuponmyskin。Andtherearetheyoungstersgrowingupaboutus，andthehandstolookafter，andthestock。I
daresayitseemsaverycommonplaceunintellectuallifetoyou，butitsatisfiesmynaturemorethanthewritingofbookscouldeverdo。
Besides，therearetoomanyauthorsasitis。Theworldissobusyreadingandwriting，ithasnotimeleftforthinking。You’lltellme，ofcourse，thatbooksarethought，butthatisonlythejargonofthePress。Youcomeouthere，oldman，andsitasIdosometimesfordaysandnightstogetheralonewiththedumbcattleonanupheavedislandofearth，asitwere，juttingoutintothedeepsky，andyouwillknowthattheyarenot。Whatamanthinks——reallythinks——goesdownintohimandgrowsinsilence。Whatamanwritesinbooksarethethoughtsthathewishestobethoughttothink。\"
PoorJephson！hepromisedsowellatonetime。Buthealwayshadstrangenotions。
CHAPTERI
When，onreturninghomeoneevening，afterapipepartyatmyfriendJephson’s，IinformedmywifethatIwasgoingtowriteanovel，sheexpressedherselfaspleasedwiththeidea。ShesaidshehadoftenwonderedIhadneverthoughtofdoingsobefore。\"Look，\"sheadded，\"howsillyallthenovelsarenowadays；I’msureyoucouldwriteone。\"（Ethelberthaintendedtobecomplimentary，Iamconvinced；
butthereisaloosenessabouthermodeofexpressionwhich，attimes，rendershermeaningobscure。）
When，however，ItoldherthatmyfriendJephsonwasgoingtocollaboratewithme，sheremarked，\"Oh，\"inadoubtfultone；andwhenIfurtherwentontoexplaintoherthatSelkirkBrownandDerrickMacShaughnassywerealsogoingtoassist，shereplied，\"Oh，\"
inatonewhichcontainednotraceofdoubtfulnesswhatever，andfromwhichitwasclearthatherinterestinthematter，asapracticalscheme，hadentirelyevaporated。
Ifancythatthefactofmythreecollaboratorsbeingallbachelorsdiminishedsomewhatourchancesofsuccess，inEthelbertha’smind。
Againstbachelors，asaclass，sheentertainsastrongprejudice。A
man’snothavingsenseenoughtowanttomarry，or，havingthat，nothavingwitenoughtodoit，arguestoherthinkingeitherweaknessofintellectornaturaldepravity，theformerrenderingitsvictimunable，andthelatterunfit，evertobecomeareallyusefulnovelist。
Itriedtomakeherunderstandthepeculiaradvantagesourplanpossessed。
\"Yousee，\"Iexplained，\"intheusualcommon—placenovelweonlyget，asamatteroffact，oneperson’sideas。Now，inthisnovel，therewillbefourclevermenallworkingtogether。Thepublicwillthusbeenabledtoobtainthethoughtsandopinionsofthewholefourofus，atthepriceusuallyaskedformerelyoneauthor’sviews。IftheBritishreaderknowshisownbusiness，hewillorderthisbookearly，toavoiddisappointment。Suchanopportunitymaynotoccuragainforyears。\"
Ethelberthaagreedthatthiswasprobable。
\"Besides，\"Icontinued，myenthusiasmwaxingstrongerthemoreI
reflecteduponthematter，\"thisworkisgoingtobeagenuinebargaininanotherwayalso。Wearenotgoingtoputourmereeverydayideasintoit。Wearegoingtocrowdintothisonenovelallthewitandwisdomthatthewholefourofuspossess，ifthebookwillholdit。Weshallnotwriteanothernovelafterthisone。
Indeed，weshallnotbeableto；weshallhavenothingmoretowrite。Thisworkwillpartakeofthenatureofanintellectualclearancesale。Wearegoingtoputintothisnovelsimplyallweknow。\"
Ethelberthashutherlips，andsaidsomethinginside；andthenremarkedaloudthatshesupposeditwouldbeaonevolumeaffair。
Ifelthurtattheimpliedsneer。Ipointedouttoherthattherealreadyexistedanumerousbodyofspecially—trainedmenemployedtodonothingelsebutmakedisagreeableobservationsuponauthorsandtheirworks——adutythat，sofarasIcouldjudge，theyseemedcapableofperformingwithoutanyamateurassistancewhatever。AndIhintedthat，byhisownfireside，aliterarymanlookedtobreatheamoresympatheticatmosphere。
EthelbertharepliedthatofcourseIknewwhatshemeant。Shesaidthatshewasnotthinkingofme，andthatJephsonwas，nodoubt，sensibleenough（Jephsonisengaged），butshedidnotseetheobjectofbringinghalftheparishintoit。（Nobodysuggestedbringing\"halftheparish\"intoit。Ethelberthawilltalksowildly。）TosupposethatBrownandMacShaughnassycouldbeofanyusewhatever，sheconsideredabsurd。Whatcouldacoupleofrawbachelorsknowaboutlifeandhumannature？AsregardedMacShaughnassyinparticular，shewasofopinionthatifweonlywantedoutofhimallthatHEknew，andcouldkeephimtothesubject，weoughttobeabletogetthatintoaboutapage。
Mywife’spresentestimateofMacShaughnassy’sknowledgeistheresultofreaction。Thefirsttimesheeversawhim，sheandhegotonwonderfullywelltogether；andwhenIreturnedtothedrawing—
room，afterseeinghimdowntothegate，herfirstwordswere，\"WhatawonderfulmanthatMr。MacShaughnassyis。Heseemstoknowsomuchabouteverything。\"
ThatdescribesMacShaughnassyexactly。Hedoesseemtoknowatremendouslot。HeispossessedofmoreinformationthananymanI
evercameacross。Occasionally，itiscorrectinformation；but，speakingbroadly，itisremarkableforitsmarvellousunreliability。
Wherehegetsitfromisasecretthatnobodyhaseveryetbeenabletofathom。
Ethelberthawasveryyoungwhenwestartedhousekeeping。（Ourfirstbutcherverynearlylosthercustom，Iremember，onceandforeverbycallingher\"Missie，\"andgivingheramessagetotakebacktohermother。Shearrivedhomeintears。Shesaidthatperhapsshewasn’tfittobeanybody’swife，butshedidnotseewhysheshouldbetoldsobythetradespeople。）Shewasnaturallysomewhatinexperiencedindomesticaffairs，and，feelingthiskeenly，wasgratefultoanyonewhowouldgiveherusefulhintsandadvice。
WhenMacShaughnassycamealongheseemed，inhereyes，asortofglorifiedMrs。Beeton。Hekneweverythingwantedtobeknowninsideahouse，fromthescientificmethodofpeelingapotatotothecureofspasmsincats，andEthelberthawouldsitathisfeet，figurativelyspeaking，andgainenoughinformationinoneeveningtomakethehouseunlivableinforamonth。
Hetoldherhowfiresoughttobelaid。Hesaidthatthewayfireswereusuallylaidinthiscountrywascontrarytoallthelawsofnature，andheshowedherhowthethingwasdoneinCrimTartary，orsomesuchplace，wherethescienceoflayingfiresisaloneproperlyunderstood。Heprovedtoherthatanimmensesavingintimeandlabour，tosaynothingofcoals，couldbeeffectedbytheadoptionoftheCrimTartarysystem；andhetaughtittoherthenandthere，andshewentstraightdownstairsandexplainedittothegirl。
Amenda，ourthen\"general，\"wasanextremelystolidyoungperson，and，insomerespects，amodelservant。Sheneverargued。Sheneverseemedtohaveanynotionsofherownwhatever。Sheacceptedourideaswithoutcomment，andcarriedthemoutwithsuchpedanticprecisionandsuchevidentabsenceofallfeelingofresponsibilityconcerningtheresultastosurroundourhomelegislationwithquiteamilitaryatmosphere。
OnthepresentoccasionshestoodquietlybywhiletheMacShaughnassymethodoffire—layingwasexpoundedtoher。WhenEthelberthahadfinishedshesimplysaid：—
\"Youwantmetolaythefireslikethat？\"
\"Yes，Amenda，we’llalwayshavethefireslaidlikethatinfuture，ifyouplease。\"
\"Allright，mum，\"repliedAmenda，withperfectunconcern，andtherethematterended，forthatevening。
Oncomingdownstairsthenextmorningwefoundthebreakfasttablespreadverynicely，buttherewasnobreakfast。Wewaited。Tenminuteswentby——aquarterofanhour——twentyminutes。ThenEthelbertharangthebell。InresponseAmendapresentedherself，calmandrespectful。
\"Doyouknowthatthepropertimeforbreakfastishalf—pasteight，Amenda？\"
\"Yes’m。\"
\"Anddoyouknowthatit’snownearlynine？\"
\"Yes’m。\"
\"Well，isn’tbreakfastready？\"
\"No，mum。\"
\"WillitEVERbeready？\"
\"Well，mum，\"repliedAmenda，inatoneofgenialfrankness，\"totellyouthetruth，Idon’tthinkiteverwill。\"
\"What’sthereason？Won’tthefirelight？\"
\"Ohyes，itlightsallright。\"
\"Well，then，whycan’tyoucookthebreakfast？\"
\"Becausebeforeyoucanturnyourselfrounditgoesoutagain。\"
Amendanevervolunteeredstatements。Sheansweredthequestionputtoherandthenstoppeddead。Icalleddownstairstoherononeoccasion，beforeIunderstoodherpeculiarities，toaskherifsheknewthetime。Shereplied，\"Yes，sir，\"anddisappearedintothebackkitchen。Attheendofthirtysecondsorso，Icalleddownagain。\"Iaskedyou，Amenda，\"Isaidreproachfully，\"totellmethetimeabouttenminutesago。\"
\"Oh，didyou？\"shecalledbackpleasantly。\"Ibegyourpardon。I
thoughtyouaskedmeifIknewit——it’shalf—pastfour。\"
Ethelberthainquired——toreturntoourfire——ifshehadtriedlightingitagain。
\"Ohyes，mum，\"answeredthegirl。\"I’vetriedfourtimes。\"Thensheaddedcheerfully，\"I’lltryagainifyoulike，mum。\"
Amendawasthemostwillingservantweeverpaidwagesto。
Ethelberthasaidshewouldstepdownandlightthefireherself，andtoldAmendatofollowherandwatchhowshedidit。Ifeltinterestedintheexperiment，andfollowedalso。Ethelberthatuckedupherfrockandsettowork。AmendaandIstoodaroundandlookedon。
AttheendofhalfanhourEthelbertharetiredfromthecontest，hot，dirty，andatrifleirritable。Thefireplaceretainedthesamecold，cynicalexpressionwithwhichithadgreetedourentrance。
ThenItried。Ihonestlytriedmybest。Iwaseagerandanxioustosucceed。Foronereason，Iwantedmybreakfast。Foranother，I
wantedtobeabletosaythatIhaddonethisthing。Itseemedtomethatforanyhumanbeingtolightafire，laidasthatfirewaslaid，wouldbeafeattobeproudof。Tolightafireevenunderordinarycircumstancesisnottooeasyatask：todoso，handicappedbyMacShaughnassy’srules，would，Ifelt，beanachievementpleasanttolookbackupon。Myidea，hadIsucceeded，wouldhavebeentogoroundtheneighbourhoodandbragaboutit。
However，Ididnotsucceed。Ilitvariousotherthings，includingthekitchencarpetandthecat，whowouldcomesniffingabout，butthematerialswithinthestoveappearedtobefire—proof。
EthelberthaandIsatdown，oneeachsideofourcheerlesshearth，andlookedatoneanother，andthoughtofMacShaughnassy，untilAmendachimedinonourdespairwithoneofthosepracticalsuggestionsofhersthatsheoccasionallythrewoutforustoacceptornot，aswechose。
\"Maybe，\"saidshe，\"I’dbetterlightitintheoldwayjustforto—
day。\"
\"Do，Amenda，\"saidEthelbertha，rising。Andthensheadded，\"I
thinkwe’llalwayshavethemlightedintheoldway，Amenda，ifyouplease。\"
Anothertimeheshowedushowtomakecoffee——accordingtotheArabianmethod。Arabiamustbeaveryuntidycountryiftheymadecoffeeoftenoverthere。Hedirtiedtwosaucepans，threejugs，onetablecloth，onenutmeg—grater，onehearthrug，threecups，andhimself。Thismadecoffeefortwo——whatwouldhavebeennecessaryinthecaseofaparty，onedaresnotthink。
Thatwedidnotlikethecoffeewhenmade，MacShaughnassyattributedtoourdebasedtaste——theresultoflongindulgenceinaninferiorarticle。Hedrankbothcupshimself，andafterwardswenthomeinacab。
Hehadanauntinthosedays，Iremember，amysteriousoldlady，wholivedinsomesecludedretreatfromwhereshewroughtincalculablemischiefuponMacShaughnassy’sfriends。Whathedidnotknow——theoneortwothingsthathewasNOTanauthorityupon——thisauntofhisknew。\"No，\"hewouldsaywithengagingcandour——\"no，thatisathingIcannotadviseyouaboutmyself。But，\"hewouldadd，\"I’lltellyouwhatI’lldo。I’llwritetomyauntandaskher。\"Andadayortwoafterwardshewouldcallagain，bringinghisaunt’sadvicewithhim；and，ifyouwereyoungandinexperienced，oranaturalbornfool，youmightpossiblyfollowit。
Shesentusarecipeononeoccasion，throughMacShaughnassy，fortheexterminationofblackbeetles。Weoccupiedaverypicturesqueoldhouse；but，aswithmostpicturesqueoldhouses，itsadvantageswerechieflyexternal。Thereweremanyholesandcracksandcreviceswithinitscreakingframework。Frogs，whohadlosttheirwayandtakenthewrongturning，wouldsuddenlydiscoverthemselvesinthemiddleofourdining—room，apparentlyquiteasmuchtotheirownsurpriseandannoyanceastoours。Anumerouscompanyofratsandmice，remarkablyfondofphysicalexercise，hadfittedtheplaceupasagymnasiumforthemselves；andourkitchen，afterteno’clock，wasturnedintoablackbeetles’club。Theycameupthroughthefloorandoutthroughthewalls，andgambolledthereintheirlight—hearted，recklesswaytilldaylight。
TheratsandmiceAmendadidnotobjectto。Shesaidshelikedtowatchthem。Butagainsttheblackbeetlesshewasprejudiced。
Therefore，whenmywifeinformedherthatMacShaughnassy’saunthadgivenusaninfalliblerecipefortheirannihilation，sherejoiced。
Wepurchasedthematerials，manufacturedthemixture，andputitabout。Thebeetlescameandateit。Theyseemedtolikeit。Theyfinisheditallup，andwereevidentlyvexedthattherewasnotmore。Buttheydidnotdie。
WetoldthesefactstoMacShaughnassy。Hesmiled，averygrimsmile，andsaidinalowtone，fullofmeaning，\"Letthemeat！\"
Itappearedthatthiswasoneofthoseslow，insidiouspoisons。Itdidnotkillthebeetleoffimmediately，butitunderminedhisconstitution。Daybydayhewouldsinkanddroopwithoutbeingabletotellwhatwasthematterwithhimself，untilonemorningweshouldenterthekitchentofindhimlyingcoldandverystill。
Sowemademorestuffandlaiditroundeachnight，andtheblackbeetlesfromallabouttheparishswarmedtoit。Eachnighttheycameingreaterquantities。Theyfetchedupalltheirfriendsandrelations。Strangebeetles——beetlesfromotherfamilies，withnoclaimonuswhatever——gottohearaboutthething，andcameinhordes，andtriedtorobourblackbeetlesofit。Bytheendofaweekwehadluredintoourkitcheneverybeetlethatwasn’tlameformilesround。
MacShaughnassysaiditwasagoodthing。Weshouldclearthesuburbatoneswoop。Thebeetleshadnowbeeneatingthispoisonsteadilyfortendays，andhesaidthattheendcouldnotbefaroff。Iwasgladtohearit，becauseIwasbeginningtofindthisunlimitedhospitalityexpensive。Itwasadearpoisonthatweweregivingthem，andtheywereheartyeaters。
Wewentdownstairstoseehowtheyweregettingon。MacShaughnassythoughttheyseemedqueer，andwasofopinionthattheywerebreakingup。Speakingformyself，Icanonlysaythatahealthier—
lookinglotofbeetlesIneverwishtosee。
One，itistrue，diddiethatveryevening。Hewasdetectedintheactoftryingtomakeoffwithanunfairlylargeportionofthepoison，andthreeorfouroftheotherssetuponhimsavagelyandkilledhim。
Buthewastheonlyone，sofarasIcouldeverdiscover，towhomMacShaughnassy’srecipeprovedfatal。Asfortheothers，theygrewfatandsleekuponit。Someofthem，indeed，begantoacquirequiteafigure。Welessenedtheirnumberseventuallybythehelpofsomecommonoil—shopstuff。Butsuchvastnumbers，attractedbyMacShaughnassy’spoison，hadsettledinthehouse，thattofinallyexterminatethemnowwashopeless。
IhavenotheardofMacShaughnassy’sauntlately。Possibly，oneofMacShaughnassy’sbosomfriendshasfoundoutheraddressandhasgonedownandmurderedher。Ifso，Ishouldliketothankhim。
ItriedalittlewhileagotocureMacShaughnassyofhisfatalpassionforadvice—giving，byrepeatingtohimaverysadstorythatwastoldtomebyagentlemanImetinanAmericanrailwaycar。I
wastravellingfromBuffalotoNewYork，and，duringtheday，itsuddenlyoccurredtomethatImightmakethejourneymoreinterestingbyleavingthecarsatAlbanyandcompletingthedistancebywater。ButIdidnotknowhowtheboatsran，andIhadnoguide—bookwithme。Iglancedaboutforsomeonetoquestion。A
mild—looking，elderlygentlemansatbythenextwindowreadingabook，thecoverofwhichwasfamiliartome。Ideemedhimtobeintelligent，andapproachedhim。
\"Ibegyourpardonforinterruptingyou，\"Isaid，sittingdownoppositetohim，\"butcouldyougivemeanyinformationabouttheboatsbetweenAlbanyandNewYork？\"
\"Well，\"heanswered，lookingupwithapleasantsmile，\"therearethreelinesofboatsaltogether。ThereistheHeggartyline，buttheyonlygoasfarasCatskill。ThentherearethePoughkeepsieboats，whichgoeveryotherday。Orthereiswhatwecallthecanalboat。\"
\"Oh，\"Isaid。\"Wellnow，whichwouldyouadvisemeto——\"
Hejumpedtohisfeetwithacry，andstoodglaringdownatmewithagleaminhiseyeswhichwaspositivelymurderous。
\"Youvillain！\"hehissedinlowtonesofconcentratedfury，\"sothat’syourgame，isit？I’llgiveyousomethingthatyou’llwantadviceabout，\"andhewhippedoutasix—chamberedrevolver。
Ifelthurt。IalsofeltthatiftheinterviewwereprolongedI
mightfeelevenmorehurt。SoIlefthimwithoutaword，anddriftedovertotheotherendofthecar，whereItookupapositionbetweenastoutladyandthedoor。
Iwasstillmusingupontheincident，when，lookingup，Iobservedmyelderlyfriendmakingtowardsme。Iroseandlaidmyhanduponthedoor—knob。Heshouldnotfindmeunprepared。Hesmiled，reassuringly，however，andheldouthishand。
\"I’vebeenthinking，\"hesaid，\"thatmaybeIwasalittlerudejustnow。Ishouldlike，ifyouwillletme，toexplain。Ithink，whenyouhaveheardmystory，youwillunderstand，andforgiveme。\"
Therewasthatabouthimwhichmademetrusthim。Wefoundaquietcornerinthesmoking—car。Ihada\"whiskeysour，\"andheprescribedforhimselfastrangethingofhisowninvention。Thenwelightedourcigars，andhetalked。
\"Thirtyyearsago，\"saidhe，\"Iwasayoungmanwithahealthybeliefinmyself，andadesiretodogoodtoothers。Ididnotimaginemyselfagenius。Ididnotevenconsidermyselfexceptionallybrilliantortalented。Butitdidseemtome，andthemoreInotedthedoingsofmyfellow—menandwomen，themoreassureddidIbecomeofit，thatIpossessedplain，practicalcommonsensetoanunusualandremarkabledegree。Consciousofthis，Iwrotealittlebook，whichIentitledHowtobeHappy，Wealthy，andWise，andpublisheditatmyownexpense。Ididnotseekforprofit。I
merelywishedtobeuseful。
ThebookdidnotmakethestirthatIhadanticipated。Sometwoorthreehundredcopieswentoff，andthenthesalepracticallyceased。
IconfessthatatfirstIwasdisappointed。Butafterawhile，I
reflectedthat，ifpeoplewouldnottakemyadvice，itwasmoretheirlossthanmine，andIdismissedthematterfrommymind。
Onemorning，aboutatwelvemonthafterwards，Iwassittinginmystudy，whentheservantenteredtosaythattherewasamandownstairswhowantedverymuchtoseeme。
\"Igaveinstructionsthatheshouldbesentup，andupaccordinglyhecame。
\"Hewasacommonman，buthehadanopen，intelligentcountenance，andhismannerwasmostrespectful。Imotionedhimtobeseated。
Heselectedachair，andsatdownontheextremeedgeofit。
\"’Ihopeyou’llpard’nthisintrusion，sir，’hebegan，speakingdeliberately，andtwirlinghishatthewhile；’butI’vecomemore’ntwohundredmilestoseeyou，sir。’
\"Iexpressedmyselfaspleased，andhecontinued：’Theytellme，sir，asyou’rethegentlemanaswrotethatlittlebook，HowtobeHappy，Wealthy，andWise。\"
Heenumeratedthethreeitemsslowly，dwellinglovinglyoneach。I
admittedthefact。
\"’Ah，that’sawonderfulbook，sir，’hewenton。’Iain’toneofthemashasgotbrainsoftheirown——nottospeakof——butIknowenoughtoknowthemashas；andwhenIreadthatlittlebook，Isaystomyself，JosiahHackett（that’smyname，sir），whenyou’reindoubtdon’tyougetaddlingthatthickheado’yours，aswillonlytellyouallwrong；yougotothegentlemanaswrotethatlittlebookandaskhimforhisadvice。Heisakind—heartedgentleman，asanyonecantell，andhe’llgiveityou；andWHENyou’vegotit，yougostraightahead，fullsteam，anddon’tyoustopfornothing，’causehe’llknowwhat’sbestforyou，sameasheknowswhat’sbestforeverybody。That’swhatIsays，sir；andthat’swhatI’mherefor。’
\"Hepaused，andwipedhisbrowwithagreencottonhandkerchief。I
prayedhimtoproceed。
\"Itappearedthattheworthyfellowwantedtomarry，butcouldnotmakeuphismindWHOMhewantedtomarry。Hehadhiseye——soheexpressedit——upontwoyoungwomen，andthey，hehadreasontobelieve，regardedhiminreturnwithmorethanusualfavour。Hisdifficultywastodecidewhichofthetwo——bothofthemexcellentanddeservingyoungpersons——wouldmakehimthebestwife。Theone，Juliana，theonlydaughterofaretiredsea—captain，hedescribedasawinsomelassie。Theother，Hannah，wasanolderandaltogethermorewomanlygirl。Shewastheeldestofalargefamily。Herfather，hesaid，wasaGod—fearingman，andwasdoingwellinthetimbertrade。HeaskedmewhichofthemIshouldadvisehimtomarry。
\"Iwasflattered。Whatmaninmypositionwouldnothavebeen？
ThisJosiahHacketthadcomefromafartohearmywisdom。Hewaswilling——nay，anxious——toentrusthiswholelife’shappinesstomydiscretion。Thathewaswiseinsodoing，Ientertainednodoubt。
ThechoiceofawifeIhadalwaysheldtobeamatterneedingacalm，unbiassedjudgment，suchasnolovercouldpossiblybringtobearuponthesubject。Insuchacase，Ishouldnothavehesitatedtoofferadvicetothewisestofmen。Tothispoor，simple—mindedfellow，Ifeltitwouldbecrueltorefuseit。
\"Hehandedmephotographsofboththeyoungpersonsunderconsideration。IjotteddownonthebackofeachsuchparticularsasIdeemedwouldassistmeinestimatingtheirrespectivefitnessforthevacancyinquestion，andpromisedtocarefullyconsidertheproblem，andwritehiminadayortwo。
\"Hisgratitudewastouching。’Don’tyoutroubletowritenoletters，sir，’hesaid；’youjuststickdown\"Julia\"or\"Hannah\"onabitofpaper，andputitinanenvelope。Ishallknowwhatitmeans，andthat’stheoneasIshallmarry。’
\"Thenhegrippedmebythehandandleftme。
\"IgaveagooddealofthoughttotheselectionofJosiah’swife。I
wantedhimtobehappy。
\"Julianawascertainlyverypretty。TherewasalurkingplayfulnessaboutthecornersofJuliana’smouthwhichconjuredupthesoundofripplinglaughter。HadIactedonimpulse，IshouldhaveclaspedJulianainJosiah’sarms。
\"But，Ireflected，moresterlingqualitiesthanmereplayfulnessandprettinessareneededforawife。Hannah，thoughnotsocharming，clearlypossessedbothenergyandsense——qualitieshighlynecessarytoapoorman’swife。Hannah’sfatherwasapiousman，andwas’doingwell’——athrifty，savingman，nodoubt。Hewouldhaveinstilledintoherlessonsofeconomyandvirtue；and，lateron，shemightpossiblycomeinforalittlesomething。Shewastheeldestofalargefamily。Shewassuretohavehadtohelphermotheragooddeal。Shewouldbeexperiencedinhouseholdmatters，andwouldunderstandthebringingupofchildren。
\"Julia’sfather，ontheotherhand，wasaretiredsea—captain。
Seafaringfolkaregenerallyloosesortoffish。Hehadprobablybeeninthehabitofgoingaboutthehouse，usinglanguageandexpressingviews，thehearingofwhichcouldnotbuthaveexercisedaninjuriouseffectupontheformationofagrowinggirl’scharacter。Julianawashisonlychild。Onlychildrengenerallymakebadmenandwomen。Theyareallowedtohavetheirownwaytoomuch。Theprettydaughterofaretiredsea—captainwouldbecertaintobespoilt。
\"Josiah，Ihadalsotoremember，wasamanevidentlyofweakcharacter。Hewouldneedmanagement。Now，therewassomethingaboutHannah’seyethateminentlysuggestedmanagement。
\"Attheendoftwodaysmymindwasmadeup。Iwrote’Hannah’onaslipofpaper，andpostedit。
\"AfortnightafterwardsIreceivedaletterfromJosiah。Hethankedmeformyadvice，butadded，incidentally，thathewishedIcouldhavemadeitJulia。However，hesaid，hefeltsureIknewbest，andbythetimeIreceivedtheletterheandHannahwouldbeone。
\"Thatletterworriedme。Ibegantowonderif，afterall，Ihadchosentherightgirl。SupposeHannahwasnotallIthoughther！
WhataterriblethingitwouldbeforJosiah。Whatdata，sufficienttoreasonupon，hadIpossessed？HowdidIknowthatHannahwasnotalazy，ill—temperedgirl，acontinualthorninthesideofherpoor，overworkedmother，andaperpetualblistertoheryoungerbrothersandsisters？HowdidIknowshehadbeenwellbroughtup？
Herfathermightbeapreciousoldfraud：mostseeminglypiousmenare。Shemayhavelearnedfromhimonlyhypocrisy。
\"Thenalso，howdidIknowthatJuliana’smerrychildishnesswouldnotripenintosweet，cheerfulwomanliness？Herfather，forallI
knewtothecontrary，mightbethemodelofwhataretiredsea—
captainshouldbe；withpossiblyasnuglittlesumsafelyinvestedsomewhere。AndJulianawashisonlychild。WhatreasonhadIforrejectingthisfairyoungcreature’sloveforJosiah？
\"Itookherphotofrommydesk。Iseemedtodetectareproachfullookinthebigeyes。Isawbeforemethesceneinthelittlefar—
awayhomewhenthefirsttidingsofJosiah’smarriagefelllikeacruelstoneintothehithertoplacidwatersofherlife。Isawherkneelingbyherfather’schair，whilethewhite—haired，bronzedoldmangentlystrokedthegoldenhead，shakingwithsilentsobsagainsthisbreast。MyremorsewasalmostmorethanIcouldbear。
\"IputherasideandtookupHannah——mychosenone。Sheseemedtoberegardingmewithasmileofheartlesstriumph。TherebegantotakepossessionofmeafeelingofpositivedisliketoHannah。
\"Ifoughtagainstthefeeling。Itoldmyselfitwasprejudice。ButthemoreIreasonedagainstitthestrongeritbecame。Icouldtellthat，asthedayswentby，itwouldgrowfromdisliketoloathing，fromloathingtohate。AndthiswasthewomanIhaddeliberatelyselectedasalifecompanionforJosiah！
\"ForweeksIknewnopeaceofmind。EveryletterthatarrivedI
dreadedtoopen，fearingitmightbefromJosiah。AteveryknockI
startedup，andlookedaboutforahiding—place。EverytimeIcameacrosstheheading，’DomesticTragedy，’inthenewspapers，Ibrokeintoacoldperspiration。IexpectedtoreadthatJosiahandHannahhadmurderedeachother，anddiedcursingme。
\"Asthetimewentby，however，andIheardnothing，myfearsbegantoassuage，andmybeliefinmyownintuitivegoodjudgmenttoreturn。Maybe，IhaddoneagoodthingforJosiahandHannah，andtheywereblessingme。Threeyearspassedpeacefullyaway，andI
wasbeginningtoforgettheexistenceoftheHacketts。
\"Thenhecameagain。Ireturnedhomefrombusinessoneeveningtofindhimwaitingformeinthehall。ThemomentIsawhimIknewthatmyworstfearshadfallenshortofthetruth。Imotionedhimtofollowmetomystudy。Hedidso，andseatedhimselfintheidenticalchaironwhichhehadsatthreeyearsago。Thechangeinhimwasremarkable；helookedoldandcareworn。Hismannerwasthatofresignedhopelessness。
\"Weremainedforawhilewithoutspeaking，hetwirlinghishatasatourfirstinterview，Imakingashowofarrangingpapersonmydesk。
Atlength，feelingthatanythingwouldbemorebearablethanthissilence，Iturnedtohim。
\"’Thingshavenotbeengoingwellwithyou，I’mafraid，Josiah？’I
said。
\"’No，sir，’herepliedquietly；’Ican’tsayastheyhave，altogether。ThatHannahofyourshasturnedoutabitofateaser。’
\"Therewasnotouchofreproachinhistones。Hesimplystatedamelancholyfact。
\"’Butsheisagoodwifetoyouinotherways，’Iurged。’Shehasherfaults，ofcourse。Weallhave。Butsheisenergetic。Comenow，youwilladmitshe’senergetic。’
\"IowedittomyselftofindsomegoodinHannah，andthiswastheonlythingIcouldthinkofatthatmoment。
\"’Ohyes，she’sthat，’heassented。’Alittletoomuchsoforoursizedhouse，Isometimesthink。’
\"’Yousee，’hewenton，’she’sabitcorneryinhertemper，Hannahis；andthenhermother’sabittrying，attimes。’
\"’Hermother！’Iexclaimed，’butwhat’sSHEgottodowithyou？’
\"’Well，yousee，sir，’heanswered，’she’slivingwithusnow——eversincetheoldmanwentoff。’
\"’Hannah’sfather！Ishedead，then？’
\"’Well，notexactly，sir，’hereplied。’HeranoffaboutatwelvemonthagowithoneoftheyoungwomenwhousedtoteachintheSundaySchool，andjoinedtheMormons。Itcameasagreatsurprisetoeveryone。’
\"Igroaned。’Andhisbusiness，’Iinquired——’thetimberbusiness，whocarriesthaton？’
\"’Oh，that！’answeredJosiah。’Oh，thathadtobesoldtopayhisdebts——leastways，togotowards’em。’
\"Iremarkedwhataterriblethingitwasforhisfamily。Isupposedthehomewasbrokenup，andtheywereallscattered。
\"’No，sir，’herepliedsimply，’theyain’tscatteredmuch。They’realllivingwithus。’
\"’Butthere，’hecontinued，seeingthelookuponmyface；’ofcourse，allthishasnothingtodowithyousir。You’vegottroublesofyourown，Idaresay，sir。Ididn’tcomeheretoworryyouwithmine。Thatwouldbeapoorreturnforallyourkindnesstome。’
\"’WhathasbecomeofJulia？’Iasked。IdidnotfeelIwantedtoquestionhimanymoreabouthisownaffairs。
\"Asmilebrokethesettledmelancholyofhisfeatures。’Ah，’hesaid，inamorecheerfultonethanhehadhithertoemployed，’itdoesonegoodtothinkaboutHER，itdoes。She’smarriedtoafriendofminenow，youngSamJessop。Islipsoutandgives’emacallnowandthen，whenHannahain’tround。Lord，it’slikegettingaglimpseofheaventolookintotheirlittlehome。Heoftenchaffsmeaboutit，Samdoes。\"Well，youWASasawny—headedchunk，Josiah，YOUwas，\"heoftensaystome。We’reoldchums，youknow，sir，Samandme，sohedon’tmindjokingabitlike。’
\"Thenthesmilediedaway，andheaddedwithasigh，’Yes，I’veoftenthoughtsince，sir，howjollyitwouldhavebeenifyoucouldhaveseenyourwaytomakingitJuliana。’
\"IfeltImustgethimbacktoHannahatanycost。Isaid，’I
supposeyouandyourwifearestilllivingintheoldplace？’
\"’Yes，’hereplied，’ifyoucancallitliving。It’sahardstrugglewithsomanyofus。’
\"HesaidhedidnotknowhowheshouldhavemanagedifithadnotbeenforthehelpofJulia’sfather。Hesaidthecaptainhadbehavedmorelikeanangelthananythingelseheknewof。
\"’Idon’tsayashe’soneofyourcleversort，youknow，sir，’heexplained。’Notthemanasonewouldgotoforadvice，likeonewouldtoyou，sir；buthe’sagoodsortforallthat。’
\"’Andthatremindsme，sir，’hewenton，’ofwhatI’vecomehereabout。You’llthinkitveryboldofmetoask，sir，but——’
\"Iinterruptedhim。’Josiah，’Isaid，’IadmitthatIammuchtoblameforwhathascomeuponyou。Youaskedmeformyadvice，andI
gaveityou。Whichofuswasthebiggeridiot，wewillnotdiscuss。
ThepointisthatIdidgiveit，andIamnotamantoshirkmyresponsibilities。What，inreason，youask，andIcangrant，Iwillgiveyou。’
\"Hewasovercomewithgratitude。’Iknewit，sir，’hesaid。’I
knewyouwouldnotrefuseme。IsaidsotoHannah。Isaid，\"Iwillgotothatgentlemanandaskhim。Iwillgotohimandaskhimforhisadvice。’\"
\"Isaid，’Hiswhat？’
\"’Hisadvice，’repeatedJosiah，apparentlysurprisedatmytone，’onalittlematterasIcan’tquitemakeupmymindabout。’
\"Ithoughtatfirsthewastryingtobesarcastic，buthewasn’t。
Thatmansatthere，andwrestledwithmeformyadviceastowhetherheshouldinvestathousanddollarswhichJulia’sfatherhadofferedtolendhim，inthepurchaseofalaundrybusinessorabar。Hehadn’thadenoughofit（myadvice，Imean）；hewanteditagain，andhespunmereasonswhyIshouldgiveithim。Thechoiceofawifewasadifferentthingaltogether，heargued。PerhapsheoughtNOT
tohaveaskedmeformyopinionastothat。Butadviceastowhichoftwotradesamanwoulddobesttoselect，surelyanybusinessmancouldgive。Hesaidhehadjustbeenreadingagainmylittlebook，HowtobeHappy，etc。，andifthegentlemanwhowrotethatcouldnotdecidebetweentherespectivemeritsofoneparticularlaundryandoneparticularbar，bothsituateinthesamecity，well，then，allhehadgottosaywasthatknowledgeandwisdomwereclearlyofnopracticaluseinthisworldwhatever。
\"Well，itdidseemasimplethingtoadviseamanabout。Surelyastoamatterofthiskind，I，aprofessedbusinessman，mustbeabletoformasounderjudgmentthanthispoorpumpkin—headedlamb。Itwouldbeheartlesstorefusetohelphim。Ipromisedtolookintothematter，andlethimknowwhatIthought。
\"Heroseandshookmebythehand。Hesaidhewouldnottrytothankme；wordswouldonlyseemweak。Hedashedawayatearandwentout。
Ibroughtanamountofthoughttobearuponthisthousand—dollarinvestmentsufficienttohavefloatedabank。IdidnotmeantomakeanotherHannahjob，ifIcouldhelpit。IstudiedthepapersJosiahhadleftwithme，butdidnotattempttoformanyopinionfromthem。IwentdownquietlytoJosiah’scity，andinspectedbothbusinessesonthespot。Iinstitutedsecretbutsearchinginquiriesintheneighbourhood。Idisguisedmyselfasasimple—mindedyoungmanwhohadcomeintoalittlemoney，andwormedmyselfintotheconfidenceoftheservants。IinterviewedhalfthetownuponthepretencethatIwaswritingthecommercialhistoryofNewEngland，andshouldlikesomeparticularsoftheircareer，andIinvariablyendedmyexaminationbyaskingthemwhichwastheirfavouritebar，andwheretheygottheirwashingdone。Istayedafortnightinthetown。MostofmysparetimeIspentatthebar。InmyleisuremomentsIdirtiedmyclothessothattheymightbewashedatthelaundry。
\"AstheresultofmyinvestigationsIdiscoveredthat，sofarasthetwobusinessesthemselveswereconcerned，therewasnotapintochoosebetweenthem。ItbecamemerelyaquestionofwhichparticulartradewouldbestsuittheHacketts。
\"Ireflected。Thekeeperofabarwasexposedtomuchtemptation。
Aweak—mindedman，minglingcontinuallyinthecompanyoftopers，mightpossiblyendbygivingwaytodrink。Now，Josiahwasanexceptionallyweak—mindedman。Ithadalsotobeborneinmindthathehadashrewishwife，andthatherwholefamilyhadcometolivewithhim。Clearly，toplaceJosiahinapositionofeasyaccesstounlimitedliquorwouldbemadness。
\"Aboutalaundry，ontheotherhand，therewassomethingsoothing。
Theworkingofalaundryneededmanyhands。Hannah’srelativesmightbeusedupinalaundry，andmadetoearntheirownliving。
Hannahmightexpendherenergyinflat—ironing，andJosiahcouldturnthemangle。Theideaconjuredupquiteapleasantdomesticpicture。Irecommendedthelaundry。
\"OnthefollowingMonday，Josiahwrotetosaythathehadboughtthelaundry。OnTuesdayIreadintheCommercialIntelligencethatoneofthemostremarkablefeaturesofthetimewasthemarvellousrisetakingplacealloverNewEnglandinthevalueofhotelandbarproperty。OnThursday，inthelistoffailures，Icameacrossnolessthanfourlaundryproprietors；andthepaperadded，inexplanation，thattheAmericanwashingindustry，owingtotherapidgrowthofChinesecompetition，waspracticallyonitslastlegs。I
wentoutandgotdrunk。
\"Mylifebecameacursetome。AlldaylongIthoughtofJosiah。
AllnightIdreamedofhim。Supposethat，notcontentwithbeingthecauseofhisdomesticmisery，Ihadnowdeprivedhimofthemeansofearningalivelihood，andhadrendereduselessthegenerosityofthatgoodoldsea—captain。Ibegantoappeartomyselfasamalignantfiend，everfollowingthissimplebutworthymantoworkeviluponhim。
\"Timepassedaway，however；Iheardnothingfromorofhim，andmyburdenatlastfellfromme。
\"Thenattheendofaboutfiveyearshecameagain。
\"HecamebehindmeasIwasopeningthedoorwithmylatch—key，andlaidanunsteadyhanduponmyarm。Itwasadarknight，butagas—
lampshowedmehisface。Irecogniseditinspiteoftheredblotchesandtheblearyfilmthathidtheeyes。Icaughthimroughlybythearm，andhurriedhiminsideandupintomystudy。
\"’Sitdown，’Ihissed，’andtellmetheworstfirst。’
\"Hewasabouttoselecthisfavouritechair。IfeltthatifIsawhimandthatparticularchairinassociationforthethirdtime，I
shoulddosomethingterribletoboth。Isnatcheditawayfromhim，andhesatdownheavilyonthefloor，andburstintotears。Ilethimremainthere，and，thickly，betweenhiccoughs，hetoldhistale。
\"Thelaundryhadgonefrombadtoworse。Anewrailwayhadcometothetown，alteringitswholetopography。Thebusinessandresidentialportionhadgraduallyshiftednorthward。Thespotwherethebar——theparticularonewhichIhadrejectedforthelaundry——
hadformerlystoodwasnowthecommercialcentreofthecity。ThemanwhohadpurchaseditinplaceofJosiahhadsoldoutandmadeafortune。Thesouthernarea（wherethelaundrywassituate）was，ithadbeendiscovered，builtuponaswamp，andwasinahighlyunsanitarycondition。Carefulhousewivesnaturallyobjectedtosendingtheirwashingintosuchaneighbourhood。
\"Othertroubleshadalsocome。Thebaby——Josiah’spet，theonebrightthinginhislife——hadfallenintothecopperandbeenboiled。Hannah’smotherhadbeencrushedinthemangle，andwasnowahelplesscripple，whohadtobewaitedondayandnight。
\"UndertheseaccumulatedmisfortunesJosiahhadsoughtconsolationindrink，andhadbecomeahopelesssot。Hefelthisdegradationkeenly，andweptcopiously。Hesaidhethoughtthatinacheerfulplace，suchasabar，hemighthavebeenstrongandbrave；butthattherewassomethingabouttheeverlastingsmellofdampclothesandsuds，thatseemedtosaphismanhood。
\"Iaskedhimwhatthecaptainhadsaidtoitall。Heburstintofreshtears，andrepliedthatthecaptainwasnomore。That，headded，remindedhimofwhathehadcomeabout。Thegood—heartedoldfellowhadbequeathedhimfivethousanddollars。Hewantedmyadviceastohowtoinvestit。
\"Myfirstimpulsewastokillhimonthespot。IwishnowthatI
had。Irestrainedmyself，however，andofferedhimthealternativeofbeingthrownfromthewindoworofleavingbythedoorwithoutanotherword。
\"HeansweredthathewasquitepreparedtogobythewindowifI
wouldfirsttellhimwhethertoputhismoneyintheTerradelFuegoNitrateCompany，Limited，orintheUnionPacificBank。Lifehadnofurtherinterestforhim。Allhecaredforwastofeelthatthislittlenest—eggwassafelylaidbyforthebenefitofhisbelovedonesafterhewasgone。
\"HepressedmetotellhimwhatIthoughtofnitrates。IrepliedthatIdeclinedtosayanythingwhateveronthesubject。HeassumedfrommyanswerthatIdidnotthinkmuchofnitrates，andannouncedhisintentionofinvestingthemoney，inconsequence，intheUnionPacificBank。
\"Itoldhimbyallmeanstodoso，ifheliked。
\"Hepaused，andseemedtobepuzzlingitout。Thenhesmiledknowingly，andsaidhethoughtheunderstoodwhatImeant。Itwasverykindofme。HeshouldputeverydollarhepossessedintheTerradelFuegoNitrateCompany。
\"Herose（withdifficulty）togo。Istoppedhim。Iknew，ascertainlyasIknewthesunwouldrisethenextmorning，thatwhichevercompanyIadvisedhim，orhepersistedinthinkingIhadadvisedhim（whichwasthesamething），toinvestin，would，soonerorlater，cometosmash。MygrandmotherhadallherlittlefortuneintheTerradelFuegoNitrateCompany。Icouldnotseeherbroughttopenuryinheroldage。AsforJosiah，itcouldmakenodifferencetohimwhatever。Hewouldlosehismoneyinanyevent。
IadvisedhimtoinvestinUnionPacificBankShares。Hewentanddidit。
\"TheUnionPacificBankheldoutforeighteenmonths。Thenitbegantototter。Thefinancialworldstoodbewildered。Ithadalwaysbeenreckonedoneofthesafestbanksinthecountry。Peopleaskedwhatcouldbethecause。Iknewwellenough，butIdidnottell。
\"TheBankmadeagallantfight，butthehandoffatewasuponit。
Attheendofanotherninemonthsthecrashcame。
\"（Nitrates，itneedhardlybesaid，hadallthistimebeengoingupbyleapsandbounds。Mygrandmotherdiedworthamilliondollars，andleftthewholeofittoacharity。HadsheknownhowIhadsavedherfromruin，shemighthavebeenmoregrateful。）
\"AfewdaysafterthefailureoftheBank，Josiaharrivedonmydoorstep；and，thistime，hebroughthisfamilieswithhim。Thereweresixteenoftheminall。
\"WhatwasItodo？Ihadbroughtthesepeoplestepbysteptothevergeofstarvation。Ihadlaidwastealiketheirhappinessandtheirprospectsinlife。TheleastamendsIcouldmakewastoseethatatalleventstheydidnotwantforthenecessitiesofexistence。
\"Thatwasseventeenyearsago。Iamstillseeingthattheydonotwantforthenecessitiesofexistence；andmyconscienceisgrowingeasierbynoticingthattheyseemcontentedwiththeirlot。Therearetwenty—twoofthemnow，andwehavehopesofanotherinthespring。
\"Thatismystory，\"hesaid。\"Perhapsyouwillnowunderstandmysuddenemotionwhenyouaskedformyadvice。Asamatteroffact，I
donotgiveadvicenowonanysubject。\"
ItoldthistaletoMacShaughnassy。Heagreedwithmethatitwasinstructive，andsaidheshouldrememberit。Hesaidheshouldrememberitsoastotellittosomefellowsthatheknew，towhomhethoughtthelessonshouldproveuseful。