Hemightbeginwiththat。Bywavinghisbedoutofwindowhecouldgetintotroublebeforehehadhisbreakfast。Athomehemighthanghimselfoutofwindow，andnobodywouldmindmuch，providedhedidnotobstructanybody’sancientlightsorbreakawayandinjureanypasserunderneath。
InGermanyyoumustnotwearfancydressinthestreets。A
HighlanderofmyacquaintancewhocametopassthewinterinDresdenspentthefirstfewdaysofhisresidencethereinarguingthisquestionwiththeSaxonGovernment。Theyaskedhimwhathewasdoinginthoseclothes。Hewasnotanamiableman。Heanswered，hewaswearingthem。Theyaskedhimwhyhewaswearingthem。Hereplied，tokeephimselfwarm。Theytoldhimfranklythattheydidnotbelievehim，andsenthimbacktohislodgingsinaclosedlandau。ThepersonaltestimonyoftheEnglishMinisterwasnecessarytoassuretheauthoritiesthattheHighlandgarbwasthecustomarydressofmanyrespectable，law—abidingBritishsubjects。Theyacceptedthestatement，asdiplomaticallybound，butretaintheirprivateopiniontothisday。TheEnglishtouristtheyhavegrownaccustomedto；butaLeicestershiregentleman，invitedtohuntwithsomeGermanofficers，onappearingoutsidehishotel，waspromptlymarchedoff，horseandall，toexplainhisfrivolityatthepolicecourt。
AnotherthingyoumustnotdointhestreetsofGermantownsistofeedhorses，mules，ordonkeys，whetheryourownorthosebelongingtootherpeople。Ifapassionseizesyoutofeedsomebodyelse’shorse，youmustmakeanappointmentwiththeanimal，andthemealmusttakeplaceinsomeproperlyauthorisedplace。Youmustnotbreakglassorchinainthestreet，nor，infact，inanypublicresortwhatever；andifyoudo，youmustpickupallthepieces。
WhatyouaretodowiththepieceswhenyouhavegatheredthemtogetherIcannotsay。TheonlythingIknowforcertainisthatyouarenotpermittedtothrowthemanywhere，toleavethemanywhere，orapparentlytopartwiththeminanywaywhatever。
Presumably，youareexpectedtocarrythemaboutwithyouuntilyoudie，andthenbeburiedwiththem；or，maybe，youareallowedtoswallowthem。
InGermanstreetsyoumustnotshootwithacrossbow。TheGermanlaw—makerdoesnotcontenthimselfwiththemisdeedsoftheaverageman——thecrimeonefeelsonewantstodo，butmustnot：heworrieshimselfimaginingallthethingsawanderingmaniacmightdo。InGermanythereisnolawagainstamanstandingonhisheadinthemiddleoftheroad；theideahasnotoccurredtothem。OneofthesedaysaGermanstatesman，visitingacircusandseeingacrobats，willreflectuponthisomission。Thenhewillstraightwaysettoworkandframeaclauseforbiddingpeoplefromstandingontheirheadsinthemiddleoftheroad，andfixingafine。ThisisthecharmofGermanlaw：misdemeanourinGermanyhasitsfixedprice。Youarenotkeptawakeallnight，asinEngland，wonderingwhetheryouwillgetoffwithacaution，befinedfortyshillings，or，catchingthemagistrateinanunhappymomentforyourself，getsevendays。Youknowexactlywhatyourfunisgoingtocostyou。Youcanspreadoutyourmoneyonthetable，openyourPoliceGuide，andplanoutyourholidaytoafiftypfennigpiece。Forareallycheapevening，Iwouldrecommendwalkingonthewrongsideofthepavementafterbeingcautionednottodoso。Icalculatethatbychoosingyourdistrictandkeepingtothequietsidestreetsyoucouldwalkforawholeeveningonthewrongsideofthepavementatacostoflittleoverthreemarks。
InGermantownsyoumustnotrambleaboutafterdark\"indroves。\"
Iamnotquitesurehowmanyconstitutea\"drove，\"andnoofficialtowhomIhavespokenonthissubjecthasfelthimselfcompetenttofixtheexactnumber。IonceputittoaGermanfriendwhowasstartingforthetheatrewithhiswife，hismother—in—law，fivechildrenofhisown，hissisterandherfiance，andtwonieces，ifhedidnotthinkhewasrunningariskunderthisby—law。Hedidnottakemysuggestionasajoke。Hecastaneyeoverthegroup。
\"Oh，Idon’tthinkso，\"hesaid；\"yousee，weareallonefamily。\"
\"Theparagraphsaysnothingaboutitsbeingafamilydroveornot，\"
Ireplied；\"itsimplysays’drove。’Idonotmeanitinanyuncomplimentarysense，but，speakingetymologically，Iaminclinedpersonallytoregardyourcollectionasa’drove。’Whetherthepolicewilltakethesameviewornotremainstobeseen。Iammerelywarningyou。\"
Myfriendhimselfwasinclinedtopooh—poohmyfears；buthiswifethinkingitbetternottorunanyriskofhavingthepartybrokenupbythepoliceattheverybeginningoftheevening，theydivided，arrangingtocometogetheragaininthetheatrelobby。
AnotherpassionyoumustrestraininGermanyisthatpromptingyoutothrowthingsoutofwindow。Catsarenoexcuse。DuringthefirstweekofmyresidenceinGermanyIwasawakenedincessantlybycats。OnenightIgotmad。Icollectedasmallarsenal——twoorthreepiecesofcoal，afewhardpears，acoupleofcandleends，anoddeggIfoundonthekitchentable，anemptysoda—waterbottle，andafewarticlesofthatsort，——and，openingthewindow，bombardedthespotfromwherethenoiseappearedtocome。IdonotsupposeIhitanything；Ineverknewamanwhodidhitacat，evenwhenhecouldseeit，except，maybe，byaccidentwhenaimingatsomethingelse。Ihaveknowncrackshots，winnersofQueen’sprizes——thosesortofmen，——shootwithshot—gunsatcatsfiftyyardsaway，andneverhitahair。Ihaveoftenthoughtthat，insteadofbull’s—eyes，runningdeer，andthatrubbish，thereallysuperiormarksmanwouldbehewhocouldboastthathehadshotthecat。
But，anyhow，theymovedoff；maybetheeggannoyedthem。IhadnoticedwhenIpickeditupthatitdidnotlookagoodegg；andI
wentbacktobedagain，thinkingtheincidentclosed。Tenminutesafterwardstherecameaviolentringingoftheelectricbell。I
triedtoignoreit，butitwastoopersistent，and，puttingonmydressinggown，Iwentdowntothegate。Apolicemanwasstandingthere。HehadallthethingsIhadbeenthrowingoutofthewindowinalittleheapinfrontofhim，allexcepttheegg。Hehadevidentlybeencollectingthem。Hesaid：
\"Arethesethingsyours？\"
Isaid：\"Theyweremine，butpersonallyIhavedonewiththem。
Anybodycanhavethem——youcanhavethem。\"
Heignoredmyoffer。Hesaid：
\"Youthrewthesethingsoutofwindow。\"
\"Youareright，\"Iadmitted；\"Idid。\"
\"Whydidyouthrowthemoutofwindow？\"heasked。AGermanpolicemanhashiscodeofquestionsarrangedforhim；henevervariesthem，andheneveromitsone。
\"Ithrewthemoutofthewindowatsomecats，\"Ianswered。
\"Whatcats？\"heasked。
ItwasthesortofquestionaGermanpolicemanwouldask。I
repliedwithasmuchsarcasmasIcouldputintomyaccentthatI
wasashamedtosayIcouldnottellhimwhatcats。Iexplainedthat，personally，theywerestrangerstome；butIoffered，ifthepolicewouldcallallthecatsinthedistricttogether，tocomeroundandseeifIcouldrecognisethembytheiryaul。
TheGermanpolicemandoesnotunderstandajoke，whichisperhapsonthewholejustaswell，forIbelievethereisaheavyfineforjokingwithanyGermanuniform；theycallit\"treatinganofficialwithcontumely。\"Hemerelyrepliedthatitwasnotthedutyofthepolicetohelpmerecognisethecats；theirdutywasmerelytofinemeforthrowingthingsoutofwindow。
IaskedwhatamanwassupposedtodoinGermanywhenwokeupnightafternightbycats，andheexplainedthatIcouldlodgeaninformationagainsttheownerofthecat，whenthepolicewouldproceedtocautionhim，and，ifnecessary，orderthecattobedestroyed。Whowasgoingtodestroythecat，andwhatthecatwouldbedoingduringtheprocess，hedidnotexplain。
IaskedhimhowheproposedIshoulddiscovertheownerofthecat。
Hethoughtforawhile，andthensuggestedthatImightfollowithome。Ididnotfeelinclinedtoarguewithhimanymoreafterthat；Ishouldonlyhavesaidthingsthatwouldhavemadethematterworse。Asitwas，thatnight’ssportcostmetwelvemarks；
andnotasingleoneofthefourGermanofficialswhointerviewedmeonthesubjectcouldseeanythingridiculousintheproceedingsfrombeginningtoend。
ButinGermanymosthumanfaultsandfolliessinkintocomparativeinsignificancebesidetheenormityofwalkingonthegrass。
Nowhere，andundernocircumstances，mayyouatanytimeinGermanywalkonthegrass。GrassinGermanyisquiteafetish。ToputyourfootonGermangrasswouldbeasgreatasacrilegeastodanceahornpipeonaMohammedan’spraying—mat。TheverydogsrespectGermangrass；noGermandogwoulddreamofputtingapawonit。IfyouseeadogscamperingacrossthegrassinGermany，youmayknowforcertainthatitisthedogofsomeunholyforeigner。InEngland，whenwewanttokeepdogsoutofplaces，weputupwirenetting，sixfeethigh，supportedbybuttresses，anddefendedonthetopbyspikes。InGermany，theyputanotice—boardinthemiddleoftheplace，\"Hundenverboten，\"andadogthathasGermanbloodinitsveinslooksatthatnotice—boardandwalksaway。InaGermanparkIhaveseenagardenerstepgingerlywithfeltbootsontograss—plot，andremovingtherefromabeetle，placeitgravelybutfirmlyonthegravel；whichdone，hestoodsternlywatchingthebeetle，toseethatitdidnottrytogetbackonthegrass；andthebeetle，lookingutterlyashamedofitself，walkedhurriedlydownthegutter，andturnedupthepathmarked\"Ausgang。\"
InGermanparksseparateroadsaredevotedtothedifferentordersofthecommunity，andnooneperson，atperiloflibertyandfortune，maygouponanotherperson’sroad。Therearespecialpathsfor\"wheel—riders\"andspecialpathsfor\"foot—goers，\"
avenuesfor\"horse—riders，\"roadsforpeopleinlightvehicles，androadsforpeopleinheavyvehicles；waysforchildrenandfor\"aloneladies。\"Thatnoparticularroutehasyetbeensetasideforbald—headedmenor\"newwomen\"hasalwaysstruckmeasanomission。
IntheGrosseGarteninDresdenIoncecameacrossanoldlady，standing，helplessandbewildered，inthecentreofseventracks。
Eachwasguardedbyathreateningnotice，warningeverybodyoffitbutthepersonforwhomitwasintended。
\"Iamsorrytotroubleyou，\"saidtheoldlady，onlearningIcouldspeakEnglishandreadGerman，\"butwouldyoumindtellingmewhatIamandwhereIhavetogo？\"
Iinspectedhercarefully。Icametotheconclusionthatshewasa\"grown—up\"anda\"foot—goer，\"andpointedoutherpath。Shelookedatit，andseemeddisappointed。
\"ButIdon’twanttogodownthere，\"shesaid；\"mayn’tIgothisway？\"
\"Greatheavens，no，madam！\"Ireplied。\"Thatpathisreservedforchildren。\"
\"ButIwouldn’tdothemanyharm，\"saidtheoldlady，withasmile。
Shedidnotlookthesortofoldladywhowouldhavedonethemanyharm。
\"Madam，\"Ireplied，\"ifitrestedwithme，Iwouldtrustyoudownthatpath，thoughmyownfirst—bornwereattheotherend；butI
canonlyinformyouofthelawsofthiscountry。Foryou，afull—
grownwoman，toventuredownthatpathistogotocertainfine，ifnotimprisonment。Thereisyourpath，markedplainly——NurfurFussganger，andifyouwillfollowmyadvice，youwillhastendownit；youarenotallowedtostandhereandhesitate。\"
\"Itdoesn’tleadabitinthedirectionIwanttogo，\"saidtheoldlady。
\"ItleadsinthedirectionyouOUGHTtowanttogo，\"Ireplied，andweparted。
IntheGermanparkstherearespecialseatslabelled，\"Onlyforgrown—ups\"（NurfurErwachsene），andtheGermansmallboy，anxioustositdown，andreadingthatnotice，passesby，andhuntsforaseatonwhichchildrenarepermittedtorest；andthereheseatshimself，carefulnottotouchthewoodworkwithhismuddyboots。
ImagineaseatinRegent’sorSt。James’sParklabelled\"Onlyforgrown—ups！\"Everychildforfivemilesroundwouldbetryingtogetonthatseat，andhaulingotherchildrenoffwhowereon。Asforany\"grown—up，\"hewouldneverbeabletogetwithinhalfamileofthatseatforthecrowd。TheGermansmallboy，whohasaccidentallysatdownonsuchwithoutnoticing，riseswithastartwhenhiserrorispointedouttohim，andgoesawaywithdown—casthead，brushingtotherootsofhishairwithshameandregret。
NotthattheGermanchildisneglectedbyapaternalGovernment。
InGermanparksandpublicgardensspecialplaces（Spielplatze）areprovidedforhim，eachonesuppliedwithaheapofsand。Therehecanplaytohisheart’scontentatmakingmudpiesandbuildingsandcastles。TotheGermanchildapiemadeofanyothermudthanthiswouldappearanimmoralpie。Itwouldgivetohimnosatisfaction：hissoulwouldrevoltagainstit。
\"Thatpie，\"hewouldsaytohimself，\"wasnot，asitshouldhavebeen，madeofGovernmentmudspeciallysetapartforthepurpose；
itwasnormanufacturedintheplaceplannedandmaintainedbytheGovernmentforthemakingofmudpies。Itcanbringnorealblessingwithit；itisalawlesspie。\"Anduntilhisfatherhadpaidtheproperfine，andhehadreceivedhisproperlicking，hisconsciencewouldcontinuetotroublehim。
AnotherexcellentpieceofmaterialforobtainingexcitementinGermanyisthesimpledomesticperambulator。Whatyoumaydowitha\"kinder—wagen，\"asitiscalled，andwhatyoumaynot，coverspagesofGermanlaw；afterthereadingofwhich，youconcludethatthemanwhocanpushaperambulatorthroughaGermantownwithoutbreakingthelawwasmeantforadiplomatist。Youmustnotloiterwithaperambulator，andyoumustnotgotoofast。Youmustnotgetinanybody’swaywithaperambulator，andifanybodygetsinyourwayyoumustgetoutoftheirway。Ifyouwanttostopwithaperambulator，youmustgotoaplacespeciallyappointedwhereperambulatorsmaystop；andwhenyougetthereyouMUSTstop。Youmustnotcrosstheroadwithaperambulator；ifyouandthebabyhappentoliveontheotherside，thatisyourfault。Youmustnotleaveyourperambulatoranywhere，andonlyincertainplacescanyoutakeitwithyou。IshouldsaythatinGermanyyoucouldgooutwithaperambulatorandgetintoenoughtroubleinhalfanhourtolastyouforamonth。AnyyoungEnglishmananxiousforarowwiththepolicecouldnotdobetterthancomeovertoGermanyandbringhisperambulatorwithhim。
InGermanyyoumustnotleaveyourfrontdoorunlockedafterteno’clockatnight，andyoumustnotplaythepianoinyourownhouseaftereleven。InEnglandIhaveneverfeltIwantedtoplaythepianomyself，ortohearanyoneelseplayit，aftereleveno’clockatnight；butthatisaverydifferentthingtobeingtoldthatyoumustnotplayit。Here，inGermany，IneverfeelthatIreallycareforthepianountileleveno’clock，thenIcouldsitandlistentothe\"Maiden’sPrayer，\"ortheOvertureto\"Zampa，\"withpleasure。Tothelaw—lovingGerman，ontheotherhand，musicaftereleveno’clockatnightceasestobemusic；itbecomessin，andassuchgiveshimnosatisfaction。
TheonlyindividualthroughoutGermanywhoeverdreamsoftakinglibertieswiththelawistheGermanstudent，andheonlytoacertainwell—definedpoint。Bycustom，certainprivilegesarepermittedtohim，buteventhesearestrictlylimitedandclearlyunderstood。Forinstance，theGermanstudentmaygetdrunkandfallasleepinthegutterwithnootherpenaltythanthatofhavingthenextmorningtotipthepolicemanwhohasfoundhimandbroughthimhome。Butforthispurposehemustchoosetheguttersofside—
streets。TheGermanstudent，consciousoftherapidapproachofoblivion，usesallhisremainingenergytogetroundthecorner，wherehemaycollapsewithoutanxiety。Incertaindistrictshemayringbells。Therentofflatsintheselocalitiesislowerthaninotherquartersofthetown；whilethedifficultyisfurthermetbyeachfamilypreparingforitselfasecretcodeofbell—ringingbymeansofwhichitisknownwhetherthesummonsisgenuineornot。
Whenvisitingsuchahouseholdlateatnightitiswelltobeacquaintedwiththiscode，oryoumay，ifpersistent，getabucketofwaterthrownoveryou。
AlsotheGermanstudentisallowedtoputoutlightsatnight，butthereisaprejudiceagainsthisputtingouttoomany。ThelarkyGermanstudentgenerallykeepscount，contentinghimselfwithhalfadozenlightspernight。Likewise，hemayshoutandsingashewalkshome，uptillhalf—pasttwo；andatcertainrestaurantsitispermittedtohimtoputhisarmroundtheFraulein’swaist。Topreventanysuggestionofunseemliness，thewaitressesatrestaurantsfrequentedbystudentsarealwayscarefullyselectedfromamongastaidandelderlyclassyofwomen，byreasonofwhichtheGermanstudentcanenjoythedelightsofflirtationwithoutfearandwithoutreproachtoanyone。
Theyarealaw—abidingpeople，theGermans。
CHAPTERX
Badenfromthevisitor’spointofview——Beautyoftheearlymorning，asviewedfromtheprecedingafternoon——Distance，asmeasuredbythecompass——Ditto，asmeasuredbytheleg——Georgeinaccountwithhisconscience——Alazymachine——Bicycling，accordingtotheposter：itsrestfulness——Thepostercyclist：itscostume；
itsmethod——Thegriffinasahouseholdpet——Adogwithproperself—
respect——Thehorsethatwasabused。
FromBaden，aboutwhichitneedonlybesaidthatitisapleasureresortsingularlylikeotherpleasureresortsofthesamedescription，westartedbicyclinginearnest。Weplannedatendays’tour，which，whilecompletingtheBlackForest，shouldincludeaspindowntheDonau—Thal，whichforthetwentymilesfromTuttlingentoSigmaringenis，perhaps，thefinestvalleyinGermany；theDanubestreamherewindingitsnarrowwaypastold—
worldunspoiltvillages；pastancientmonasteries，nestlingingreenpastures，wherestillthebare—footedandbare—headedfriar，hisropegirdletightabouthisloins，shepherds，withcrookinhand，hissheepuponthehillsides；throughrockywoods；betweensheerwallsofcliff，whoseeverytoweringcragstandscrownedwithruinedfortress，church，orcastle；togetherwithablickattheVosgesmountains，wherehalfthepopulationisbitterlypainedifyouspeaktotheminFrench，theotherhalfbeinginsultedwhenyouaddresstheminGerman，andthewholeindignantlycontemptuousatthefirstsoundofEnglish；astateofthingsthatrendersconversationwiththestrangersomewhatnervouswork。
Wedidnotsucceedincarryingoutourprogrammeinitsentirety，forthereasonthathumanperformancelagseverbehindhumanintention。Itiseasytosayandbelieveatthreeo’clockintheafternoonthat：\"Wewillriseatfive，breakfastlightlyathalf—
past，andstartawayatsix。\"
\"Thenweshallbewellonourwaybeforetheheatofthedaysetsin，\"remarksone。
\"Thistimeoftheyear，theearlymorningisreallythebestpartoftheday。Don’tyouthinkso？\"addsanother。
\"Oh，undoubtedly。\"
\"Socoolandfresh。\"
\"Andthehalf—lightsaresoexquisite。\"
Thefirstmorningonemaintainsone’svows。Thepartyassemblesathalf—pastfive。Itisverysilent；individually，somewhatsnappy；
inclinedtogrumblewithitsfood，alsowithmostotherthings；theatmospherechargedwithcompressedirritabilityseekingitsvent。
IntheeveningtheTempter’svoiceisheard：
\"Ithinkifwegotoffbyhalf—pastsix，sharp，thatwouldbetimeenough？\"
ThevoiceofVirtueprotests，faintly：\"Itwillbebreakingourresolution。\"
TheTempterreplies：\"Resolutionsweremadeforman，notmanforresolutions。\"ThedevilcanparaphraseScriptureforhisownpurpose。\"Besides，itisdisturbingthewholehotel；thinkofthepoorservants。\"
ThevoiceofVirtuecontinues，butevenfeebler：\"Buteverybodygetsupearlyintheseparts。\"
\"Theywouldnotiftheywerenotobligedto，poorthings！Saybreakfastathalf—pastsix，punctual；thatwillbedisturbingnobody。\"
ThusSinmasqueradesundertheguiseofGood，andonesleepstillsix，explainingtoone’sconscience，who，however，doesn’tbelieveit，thatonedoesthisbecauseofunselfishconsiderationforothers。Ihaveknownsuchconsiderationextenduntilsevenoftheclock。
Likewise，distancemeasuredwithapairofcompassesisnotpreciselythesameaswhenmeasuredbytheleg。
\"Tenmilesanhourforsevenhours，seventymiles。Aniceeasyday’swork。\"
\"Therearesomestiffhillstoclimb？\"
\"Theothersidetocomedown。Say，eightmilesanhour，andcallitsixtymiles。GottinHimmel！ifwecan’taverageeightmilesanhour，wehadbettergoinbath—chairs。\"Itdoesseemsomewhatimpossibletodoless，onpaper。
Butatfouro’clockintheafternoonthevoiceofDutyringslesstrumpet—toned：
\"Well，Isupposeweoughttobegettingon。\"
\"Oh，there’snohurry！don’tfuss。Lovelyviewfromhere，isn’tit？\"
\"Very。Don’tforgetwearetwenty—fivemilesfromSt。Blasien。\"
\"Howfar？\"
\"Twenty—fivemiles，alittleoverifanything。\"
\"Doyoumeantosaywehaveonlycomethirty—fivemiles？\"
\"That’sall。\"
\"Nonsense。Idon’tbelievethatmapofyours。\"
\"Itisimpossible，youknow。Wehavebeenridingsteadilyeversincethefirstthingthismorning。\"
\"No，wehaven’t。Wedidn’tgetawaytilleight，tobeginwith。\"
\"Quartertoeight。\"
\"Well，quartertoeight；andeveryhalf—dozenmileswehavestopped。\"
\"Wehaveonlystoppedtolookattheview。It’snogoodcomingtoseeacountry，andthennotseeingit。\"
\"Andwehavehadtopullupsomestiffhills。\"
\"Besides，ithasbeenanexceptionallyhotdayto—day。\"
\"Well，don’tforgetSt。Blasienistwenty—fivemilesoff，that’sall。\"
\"Anymorehills？\"
\"Yes，two；upanddown。\"
\"IthoughtyousaiditwasdownhillintoSt。Blasien？\"
\"Soitisforthelasttenmiles。Wearetwenty—fivemilesfromSt。Blasienhere。\"
\"Isn’tthereanywherebetweenhereandSt。Blasien？What’sthatlittleplacethereonthelake？\"
\"Itisn’tSt。Blasien，oranywherenearit。There’sadangerinbeginningthatsortofthing。\"
\"There’sadangerinoverworkingoneself。Oneshouldstudymoderationinallthings。Prettylittleplace，thatTitisee，accordingtothemap；looksasiftherewouldbegoodairthere。\"
\"Allright，I’magreeable。ItwasyoufellowswhosuggestedourmakingforSt。Blasien。\"
\"Oh，I’mnotsokeenonSt。Blasien！pokylittleplace，downinavalley。ThisTitisee，Ishouldsay，waseversomuchnicer。\"
\"Quitenear，isn’tit？\"
\"Fivemiles。\"
Generalchorus：\"We’llstopatTitisee。\"
Georgemadediscoveryofthisdifferencebetweentheoryandpracticeontheveryfirstdayofourride。
\"Ithought，\"saidGeorge——hewasridingthesingle，HarrisandI
beingalittleaheadonthetandem——\"thattheideawastotrainupthehillsandridedownthem。\"
\"Soitis，\"answeredHarris，\"asageneralrule。Butthetrainsdon’tgoupEVERYhillintheBlackForest。\"
\"Somehow，Ifeltasuspicionthattheywouldn’t，\"growledGeorge；
andforawhilesilencereigned。
\"Besides，\"remarkedHarris，whohadevidentlybeenruminatingthesubject，\"youwouldnotwishtohavenothingbutdownhill，surely。
Itwouldnotbeplayingthegame。Onemusttakealittleroughwithone’ssmooth。\"
Againtherereturnedsilence，brokenafterawhilebyGeorge，thistime。
\"Don’tyoutwofellowsover—exertyourselvesmerelyonmyaccount，\"
saidGeorge。
\"Howdoyoumean？\"askedHarris。
\"Imean，\"answeredGeorge，\"thatwhereatraindoeshappentobegoingupthesehills，don’tyouputasidetheideaoftakingitforfearofoutragingmyfinerfeelings。Personally，Iampreparedtogoupallthesehillsinarailwaytrain，evenifit’snotplayingthegame。I’llsquarethethingwithmyconscience；I’vebeenupatseveneverydayforaweeknow，andIcalculateitowesmeabit。Don’tyouconsidermeinthematteratall。\"
Wepromisedtobearthisinmind，andagaintheridecontinuedindoggeddumbness，untilitwasagainbrokenbyGeorge。
\"Whatbicycledidyousaythiswasofyours？\"askedGeorge。
Harristoldhim。Iforgetofwhatparticularmanufactureithappenedtobe；itisimmaterial。
\"Areyousure？\"persistedGeorge。
\"OfcourseIamsure，\"answeredHarris。\"Why，what’sthematterwithit？\"
\"Well，itdoesn’tcomeuptotheposter，\"saidGeorge，\"that’sall。\"
\"Whatposter？\"askedHarris。
\"Theposteradvertisingthisparticularbrandofcycle，\"explainedGeorge。\"IwaslookingatoneonahoardinginSloaneStreetonlyadayortwobeforewestarted。Amanwasridingthismakeofmachine，amanwithabannerinhishand：hewasn’tdoinganywork，thatwasclearasdaylight；hewasjustsittingonthethinganddrinkingintheair。Thecyclewasgoingofitsownaccord，andgoingwell。Thisthingofyoursleavesalltheworktome。Itisalazybruteofamachine；ifyoudon’tshove，itsimplydoesnothing：Ishouldcomplainaboutit，ifIwereyou。\"
Whenonecomestothinkofit，fewbicyclesdorealisetheposter。
OnonlyoneposterthatIcanrecollecthaveIseentheriderrepresentedasdoinganywork。Butthenthismanwasbeingpursuedbyabull。Inordinarycasestheobjectoftheartististoconvincethehesitatingneophytethatthesportofbicyclingconsistsinsittingonaluxurioussaddle，andbeingmovedrapidlyinthedirectionyouwishtogobyunseenheavenlypowers。
Generallyspeaking，theriderisalady，andthenonefeelsthat，forperfectbodilyrestcombinedwithentirefreedomfrommentalanxiety，slumberuponawater—bedcannotcomparewithbicycle—
ridinguponahillyroad。Nofairytravellingonasummercloudcouldtakethingsmoreeasilythandoesthebicyclegirl，accordingtotheposter。Hercostumeforcyclinginhotweatherisideal。
Old—fashionedlandladiesmightrefuseherlunch，itistrue；andanarrowmindedpoliceforcemightdesiretosecureher，andwrapherinarugpreliminarytosummonsingher。Butsuchsheheedsnot。
Uphillanddownhill，throughtrafficthatmighttaxtheingenuityofacat，overroadsurfacescalculatedtobreaktheaveragesteamrollershepasses，avisionofidleloveliness；herfairhairstreamingtothewind，hersylph—likeformpoisedairily，onefootuponthesaddle，theotherrestinglightlyuponthelamp。
Sometimesshecondescendstositdownonthesaddle；thensheputsherfeetontherests，lightsacigarette，andwavesaboveherheadaChineselantern。
Lessoften，itisameremalethingthatridesthemachine。Heisnotsoaccomplishedanacrobatasisthelady；butsimpletricks，suchasstandingonthesaddleandwavingflags，drinkingbeerorbeef—teawhileriding，hecananddoesperform。Something，onesupposes，hemustdotooccupyhismind：sittingstillhourafterhouronthismachine，havingnoworktodo，nothingtothinkabout，mustpalluponanymanofactivetemperament。Thusitisthatweseehimrisingonhispedalsashenearsthetopofsomehighhilltoapostrophisethesun，oraddresspoetrytothesurroundingscenery。
Occasionallytheposterpicturesapairofcyclists；andthenonegraspsthefacthowmuchsuperiorforpurposesofflirtationisthemodernbicycletotheold—fashionedparlourortheplayed—outgardengate。Heandshemounttheirbicycles，beingcareful，ofcourse，thatsuchareoftherightmake。Afterthattheyhavenothingtothinkaboutbuttheoldsweettale。Downshadylanes，throughbusytownsonmarketdays，merrilyrollthewheelsofthe\"BermondseyCompany’sBottomBracketBritain’sBest，\"orofthe\"CamberwellCompany’sJointlessEureka。\"Theyneednopedalling；
theyrequirenoguiding。Givethemtheirheads，andtellthemwhattimeyouwanttogethome，andthatisalltheyask。WhileEdwinleansfromhissaddletowhisperthedearoldnothingsinAngelina’sear，whileAngelina’sface，tohideitsblushes，isturnedtowardsthehorizonattheback，themagicbicyclespursuetheirevencourse。
Andthesunisalwaysshiningandtheroadsarealwaysdry。Nosternparentridesbehind，nointerferingauntbeside，nodemonsmallboybrotherispeepingroundthecorner，therenevercomesaskid。Ahme！Whywerethereno\"Britain’sBest\"nor\"CamberwellEurekas\"tobehiredwhenWEwereyoung？
Ormaybethe\"Britain’sBest\"orthe\"CamberwellEureka\"standsleaningagainstagate；maybeitistired。Ithasworkedhardalltheafternoon，carryingtheseyoungpeople。Mercifullyminded，theyhavedismounted，togivethemachinearest。Theysituponthegrassbeneaththeshadeofgracefulboughs；itislonganddrygrass。Astreamflowsbytheirfeet。Allisrestandpeace。
Thatisevertheideathecycleposterartistsetshimselftoconvey——restandpeace。
ButIamwronginsayingthatnocyclist，accordingtotheposter，everworks。NowIcometoreflect，Ihaveseenpostersrepresentinggentlemenoncyclesworkingveryhard——over—workingthemselves，onemightalmostsay。Theyarethinandhaggardwiththetoil，theperspirationstandsupontheirbrowinbeads；youfeelthatifthereisanotherhillbeyondthepostertheymusteithergetoffordie。Butthisistheresultoftheirownfolly。
Thishappensbecausetheywillpersistinridingamachineofaninferiormake。Weretheyridinga\"PutneyPopular\"or\"BatterseaBounder，\"suchasthesensibleyoungmaninthecentreoftheposterrides，thenallthisunnecessarylabourwouldbesavedtothem。Thenallrequiredofthemwouldbe，asingratitudebound，tolookhappy；perhaps，occasionallytoback—pedalalittlewhenthemachineinitsyouthfulbuoyancylosesitsheadforamomentanddashesontooswiftly。
Youtiredyoungmen，sittingdejectedlyonmilestones，toospenttoheedthesteadyrainthatsoaksyouthrough；youwearymaidens，withthestraight，damphair，anxiousaboutthetime，longingtoswear，notknowinghow；youstoutbaldmen，vanishingvisiblyasyoupantandgruntalongtheendlessroad；youpurple，dejectedmatrons，plyingwithpaintheslowunwillingwheel；whydidyounotseetoitthatyouboughta\"Britain’sBest\"ora\"CamberwellEureka\"？WhyarethesebicyclesofinferiormakesoprevalentthroughoutthelandOrisitwithbicyclingaswithallotherthings：doesLifeatnopointrealisethePoster？
TheonethinginGermanythatneverfailstocharmandfascinatemeistheGermandog。InEnglandonegrowstiredoftheoldbreeds，oneknowsthemallsowell：themastiff，theplum—puddingdog，theterrier（black，whiteorrough—haired，asthecasemaybe，butalwaysquarrelsome），thecollie，thebulldog；neveranythingnew。
NowinGermanyyougetvariety。Youcomeacrossdogsthelikeofwhichyouhaveneverseenbefore：thatuntilyouhearthembarkyoudonotknowaredogs。Itisallsofresh，sointeresting。
GeorgestoppedadoginSigmaringenanddrewourattentiontoit。
Itsuggestedacrossbetweenacodfishandapoodle。IwouldnotliketobepositiveitwasNOTacrossbetweenacodfishandapoodle。Harristriedtophotographit，butitranupafenceanddisappearedthroughsomebushes。
IdonotknowwhattheGermanbreeder’sideais；atpresentheretainshissecret。Georgesuggestsheisaimingatagriffin。
Thereismuchtobearoutthistheory，andindeedinoneortwocasesIhavecomeacrosssuccessontheselineswouldseemtohavebeenalmostachieved。YetIcannotbringmyselftobelievethatsuchareanythingmorethanmereaccidents。TheGermanispractical，andIfailtoseetheobjectofagriffin。Ifmerequaintnessofdesignbedesired，istherenotalreadytheDachshund！Whatmoreisneeded？Besides，aboutahouse，agriffinwouldbesoinconvenient：peoplewouldbecontinuallytreadingonitstail。MyownideaisthatwhattheGermansaretryingforisamermaid，whichtheywillthentraintocatchfish。
ForyourGermandoesnotencouragelazinessinanylivingthing。
Helikestoseehisdogswork，andtheGermandogloveswork；ofthattherecanbenodoubt。ThelifeoftheEnglishdogmustbeamiserytohim。Imagineastrong，active，andintelligentbeing，ofexceptionallyenergetictemperament，condemnedtospendtwenty—fourhoursadayinabsoluteidleness！Howwouldyoulikeityourself？
Nowonderhefeelsmisunderstood，yearnsfortheunattainable，andgetshimselfintotroublegenerally。
NowtheGermandog，ontheotherhand，hasplentytooccupyhismind。Heisbusyandimportant。Watchhimashewalksalongharnessedtohismilkcart。Nochurchwardenatcollectiontimecouldfeelorlookmorepleasedwithhimself。Hedoesnotdoanyrealwork；thehumanbeingdoesthepushing，hedoesthebarking；
thatishisideaofdivisionoflabour。Whathesaystohimselfis：
\"Theoldmancan’tbark，buthecanshove。Verywell。\"
Theinterestandthepridehetakesinthebusinessisquitebeautifultosee。Anotherdogpassingbymakes，maybe，somejeeringremark，castingdiscredituponthecreaminessofthemilk。
Hestopssuddenly，quiteregardlessofthetraffic。
\"Ibegyourpardon，whatwasthatyousaidaboutourmilk？\"
\"Isaidnothingaboutyourmilk，\"retortstheotherdog，inatoneofgentleinnocence。\"Imerelysaiditwasafineday，andaskedthepriceofchalk。\"
\"Oh，youaskedthepriceofchalk，didyou？Wouldyouliketoknow？\"
\"Yes，thanks；somehowIthoughtyouwouldbeabletotellme。\"
\"Youarequiteright，Ican。It’sworth——\"
\"Oh，docomealong！\"saystheoldlady，whoistiredandhot，andanxioustofinishherround。
\"Yes，buthangitall；didyouhearwhathehintedaboutourmilk？\"
\"Oh，nevermindhim！There’satramcomingroundthecorner：weshallallgetrunover。\"
\"Yes，butIdomindhim；onehasone’sproperpride。Heaskedthepriceofchalk，andhe’sgoingtoknowit！It’sworthjusttwentytimesasmuch——\"
\"You’llhavethewholethingover，Iknowyouwill，\"criestheoldlady，pathetically，strugglingwithallherfeeblestrengthtohaulhimback。\"Ohdear，ohdear！IdowishIhadleftyouathome。\"
Thetramisbearingdownuponthem；acab—driverisshoutingatthem；anotherhugebrute，hopingtobeintimetotakeahand，isdraggingabreadcart，followedbyascreamingchild，acrosstheroadfromtheoppositeside；asmallcrowdiscollecting；andapolicemanishasteningtothescene。
\"It’sworth，\"saysthemilkdog，\"justtwenty—timesasmuchasyou’llbeworthbeforeI’vedonewithyou。\"
\"Oh，youthinkso，doyou？\"
\"Yes，Ido，yougrandsonofaFrenchpoodle，youcabbage—eating——\"
\"There！Iknewyou’dhaveitover，\"saysthepoormilk—woman。\"I
toldhimhe’dhaveitover。\"
Butheisbusy，andheedshernot。Fiveminuteslater，whenthetrafficisrenewed，whenthebreadgirlhascollectedhermuddyrolls，andthepolicemanhasgoneoffwiththenameandaddressofeverybodyinthestreet，heconsentstolookbehindhim。
\"ItISabitofanupset，\"headmits。Thenshakinghimselffreeofcare，headds，cheerfully，\"ButIguessItaughthimthepriceofchalk。Hewon’tinterferewithusagain，I’mthinking。\"
\"I’msureIhopenot，\"saystheoldlady，regardingdejectedlythemilkyroad。
Buthisfavouritesportistowaitatthetopofthehillforanotherdog，andthenracedown。Ontheseoccasionsthechiefoccupationoftheotherfellowistorunaboutbehind，pickingupthescatteredarticles，loaves，cabbages，orshirts，astheyarejerkedout。Atthebottomofthehill，hestopsandwaitsforhisfriend。
\"Goodrace，wasn’tit？\"heremarks，panting，astheHumancomesup，ladentothechin。\"IbelieveI’dhavewonit，too，ifithadn’tbeenforthatfoolofasmallboy。HewasrightinmywayjustasIturnedthecorner。YOUNOTICEDHIM？WishIhad，beastlybrat！
What’sheyellinglikethatfor？BECAUSEIKNOCKEDHIMDOWNAND
RANOVERHIM？Well，whydidn’thegetoutoftheway？It’sdisgraceful，thewaypeopleleavetheirchildrenaboutforotherpeopletotumbleover。Halloa！didallthosethingscomeout？Youcouldn’thavepackedthemverycarefully；youshouldseetoathinglikethat。YOUDIDNOTDREAMOFMYTEARINGDOWNTHEHILLTWENTY
MILESANHOUR？Surely，youknewmebetterthantoexpectI’dletthatoldSchneider’sdogpassmewithoutaneffort。Butthere，youneverthink。You’resureyou’vegotthemall？YOUBELIEVESO？I
shouldn’t’believe’ifIwereyou；Ishouldrunbackupthehillagainandmakesure。YOUFEELTOOTIRED？Oh，allright！don’tblamemeifanythingismissing，that’sall。\"
Heissoself—willed。Heiscock—surethatthecorrectturningisthesecondontheright，andnothingwillpersuadehimthatitisthethird。Heispositivehecangetacrosstheroadintime，andwillnotbeconvinceduntilheseesthecartsmashedup。Thenheisveryapologetic，itistrue。Butofwhatuseisthat？Asheisusuallyofthesizeandstrengthofayoungbull，andhishumancompanionisgenerallyaweak—kneedoldmanorwoman，orasmallchild，hehashisway。Thegreatestpunishmenthisproprietorcaninflictuponhimistoleavehimathome，andtakethecartoutalone。ButyourGermanistookind—heartedtodothisoften。
Thatheisharnessedtothecartforanybody’spleasurebuthisownitisimpossibletobelieve；andIamconfidentthattheGermanpeasantplansthetinyharnessandfashionsthelittlecartpurelywiththehopeofgratifyinghisdog。Inothercountries——inBelgium，HollandandFrance——Ihaveseenthesedraughtdogsill—
treatedandover—worked；butinGermany，never。Germansabuseanimalsshockingly。IhaveseenaGermanstandinfrontofhishorseandcalliteverynamehecouldlayhistongueto。Butthehorsedidnotmindit。IhaveseenaGerman，wearywithabusinghishorse，calltohiswifetocomeoutandassisthim。Whenshecame，hetoldherwhatthehorsehaddone。Therecitalrousedthewoman’stempertoalmostequalheatwithhisown；andstandingoneeachsideofthepoorbeast，theybothabusedit。Theyabuseditsdeadmother，theyinsulteditsfather；theymadecuttingremarksaboutitspersonalappearance，itsintelligence，itsmoralsense，itsgeneralabilityasahorse。Theanimalborethetorrentwithexemplarypatienceforawhile；thenitdidthebestthingpossibletodounderthecircumstances。Withoutlosingitsowntemper，itmovedquietlyaway。Theladyreturnedtoherwashing，andthemanfolloweditupthestreet，stillabusingit。
Akinder—heartedpeoplethantheGermansthereisnoneedfor。
Crueltytoanimalorchildisathingalmostunknownintheland。
Thewhipwiththemisamusicalinstrument；itscrackisheardfrommorningtonight，butanItaliancoachmanthatinthestreetsofDresdenIoncesawuseitwasverynearlylynchedbytheindignantcrowd。GermanyistheonlycountryinEuropewherethetravellercansettlehimselfcomfortablyinhishiredcarriage，confidentthathisgentle，willingfriendbetweentheshaftswillbeneitherover—workednorcruellytreated。
CHAPTERXI
BlackForestHouse：andthesociabilitytherein——Itsperfume——
Georgepositivelydeclinestoremaininbedafterfouro’clockinthemorning——Theroadonecannotmiss——Mypeculiarextrainstinct——
Anungratefulparty——Harrisasascientist——Hischeeryconfidence——
Thevillage：whereitwas，andwhereitoughttohavebeen——
George：hisplan——WepromenadealaFrancais——TheGermancoachmanasleepandawake——ThemanwhospreadstheEnglishlanguageabroad。
Therewasonenightwhen，tiredoutandfarfromtownorvillage，wesleptinaBlackForestfarmhouse。ThegreatcharmabouttheBlackForesthouseisitssociability。Thecowsareinthenextroom，thehorsesareupstairs，thegeeseandducksareinthekitchen，whilethepigs，thechildren，andthechickensliveallovertheplace。
Youaredressing，whenyouhearagruntbehindyou。
\"Good—morning！Don’thappentohaveanypotatopeelingsinhere？
No，Iseeyouhaven’t；good—bye。\"
Nextthereisacackle，andyouseetheneckofanoldhenstretchedroundthecorner。
\"Finemorning，isn’tit？Youdon’tmindmybringingthiswormofmineinhere，doyou？Itissodifficultinthishousetofindaroomwhereonecanenjoyone’sfoodwithanyquietness。FromachickenIhavealwaysbeenasloweater，andwhenadozen——there，I
thoughttheywouldn’tleavemealone。Nowthey’llallwantabit。
Youdon’tmindmygettingonthebed，doyou？Perhapsheretheywon’tnoticeme。\"
Whileyouaredressingvariousshockheadspeerinatthedoor；
theyevidentlyregardtheroomasatemporarymenagerie。Youcannottellwhethertheheadsbelongtoboysorgirls；youcanonlyhopetheyareallmale。Itisofnouseshuttingthedoor，becausethereisnothingtofastenitby，andthemomentyouaregonetheypushitopenagain。YoubreakfastastheProdigalSonisgenerallyrepresentedfeeding：apigortwodropintokeepyoucompany；apartyofelderlygeesecriticiseyoufromthedoor；yougatherfromtheirwhispers，addedtotheirshockedexpression，thattheyaretalkingscandalaboutyou。Maybeacowwillcondescendtogiveaglancein。
ThisNoah’sArkarrangementitis，Isuppose，thatgivestotheBlackForesthomeitsdistinctivescent。Itisnotascentyoucanlikentoanyonething。ItisasifyoutookrosesandLimburgercheeseandhairoil，someheatherandonions，peachesandsoapsuds，togetherwithadashofseaairandacorpse，andmixedthemuptogether。Youcannotdefineanyparticularodour，butyoufeeltheyareallthere——alltheodoursthattheworldhasyetdiscovered。Peoplewholiveinthesehousesarefondofthismixture。Theydonotopenthewindowandloseanyofit；theykeepitcarefullybottledup。Ifyouwantanyotherscent，youcangooutsideandsmellthewoodvioletsandthepines；insidethereisthehouse；andafterawhile，Iamtold，yougetusedtoit，sothatyoumissit，andareunabletogotosleepinanyotheratmosphere。
Wehadalongwalkbeforeusthenextday，anditwasourdesire，therefore，togetupearly，evensoearlyassixo’clock，ifthatcouldbemanagedwithoutdisturbingthewholehousehold。Weputittoourhostesswhethershethoughtthiscouldbedone。Shesaidshethoughtitcould。Shemightnotbeaboutherselfatthattime；
itwashermorningforgoingintothetown，someeightmilesoff，andsherarelygotbackmuchbeforeseven；but，possibly，herhusbandoroneoftheboyswouldbereturninghometolunchaboutthathour。Anyhow，somebodyshouldbesentbacktowakeusandgetourbreakfast。
Asitturnedout，wedidnotneedanywaking。Wegotupatfour，allbyourselves。Wegotupatfourinordertogetawayfromthenoiseandthedinthatwasmakingourheadsache。WhattimetheBlackForestpeasantrisesinthesummertimeIamunabletosay；
toustheyappearedtobegettingupallnight。AndthefirstthingtheBlackForesterdoeswhenhegetsupistoputonapairofstoutbootswithwoodensoles，andtakeaconstitutionalroundthehouse。Untilhehasbeenthreetimesupanddownthestairs，hedoesnotfeelheisup。Oncefullyawakehimself，thenextthinghedoesistogoupstairstothestables，andwakeupahorse。（TheBlackForesthousebeingbuiltgenerallyonthesideofasteephill，thegroundfloorisatthetop，andthehay—loftatthebottom。）Thenthehorse，itwouldseem，mustalsohaveitsconstitutionalroundthehouse；andthisseento，themangoesdownstairsintothekitchenandbeginstochopwood，andwhenhehaschoppedsufficientwoodhefeelspleasedwithhimselfandbeginstosing。Allthingsconsidered，wecametotheconclusionwecouldnotdobetterthanfollowtheexcellentexamplesetus。
EvenGeorgewasquiteeagertogetupthatmorning。
Wehadafrugalbreakfastathalf—pastfour，andstartedawayatfive。Ourroadlayoveramountain，andfromenquiriesmadeinthevillageitappearedtobeoneofthoseroadsyoucannotpossiblymiss。Isupposeeverybodyknowsthissortofroad。Generally，itleadsyoubacktowhereyoustartedfrom；andwhenitdoesn’t，youwishitdid，sothatatalleventsyoumightknowwhereyouwere。
Iforesawevilfromtheveryfirst，andbeforewehadaccomplishedacoupleofmileswecameupwithit。Theroaddividedintothree。
Aworm—eatensign—postindicatedthatthepathtotheleftledtoaplacethatwehadneverheardof——thatwasonnomap。Itsotherarm，pointingoutthedirectionofthemiddleroad，haddisappeared。Theroadtotheright，soweallagreed，clearlyledbackagaintothevillage。
\"Theoldmansaiddistinctly，\"soHarrisremindedus，\"keepstraightonroundthehill。\"
\"Whichhill？\"Georgeasked，pertinently。
Wewereconfrontedbyhalfadozen，someofthembig，someofthemlittle。
\"Hetoldus，\"continuedHarris，\"thatweshouldcometoawood。\"
\"Iseenoreasontodoubthim，\"commentedGeorge，\"whicheverroadwetake。\"
Asamatteroffact，adensewoodcoveredeveryhill。
\"Andhesaid，\"murmuredHarris，\"thatweshouldreachthetopinaboutanhourandahalf。\"
\"Thereitis，\"saidGeorge，\"thatIbegintodisbelievehim。\"
\"Well，whatshallwedo？\"saidHarris。
NowIhappentopossessthebumpoflocality。Itisnotavirtue；
Imakenoboastofit。ItismerelyananimalinstinctthatI
cannothelp。Thatthingsoccasionallygetinmyway——mountains，precipices，rivers，andsuchlikeobstructions——isnofaultofmine。Myinstinctiscorrectenough；itistheearththatiswrong。Iledthembythemiddleroad。Thatthemiddleroadhadnotcharacterenoughtocontinueforanyquarterofamileinthesamedirection；thatafterthreemilesupanddownhillitendedabruptlyinawasps’nest，wasnotathingthatshouldhavebeenlaidtomydoor。Ifthemiddleroadhadgoneinthedirectionitoughttohavedone，itwouldhavetakenustowherewewantedtogo，ofthatIamconvinced。
Evenasitwas，Iwouldhavecontinuedtousethisgiftofminetodiscoverafreshwayhadaproperspiritbeendisplayedtowardsme。
ButIamnotanangel——Iadmitthisfrankly，——andIdeclinetoexertmyselffortheungratefulandtheribald。Besides，IdoubtifGeorgeandHarriswouldhavefollowedmefurtherinanyevent。
ThereforeitwasthatIwashedmyhandsofthewholeaffair，andthatHarrisentereduponthevacancy。
\"Well，\"saidHarris。\"Isupposeyouaresatisfiedwithwhatyouhavedone？\"
\"Iamquitesatisfied，\"IrepliedfromtheheapofstoneswhereI
wassitting。\"Sofar，Ihavebroughtyouwithsafety。Iwouldcontinuetoleadyoufurther，butnoartistcanworkwithoutencouragement。Youappeardissatisfiedwithmebecauseyoudonotknowwhereyouare。Forallyouknow，youmaybejustwhereyouwanttobe。ButIsaynothingastothat；Iexpectnothanks。Goyourownway；Ihavedonewithyouboth。\"
Ispoke，perhaps，withbitterness，butIcouldnothelpit。NotawordofkindnesshadIhadallthewearyway。
\"Donotmisunderstandus，\"saidHarris；\"bothGeorgeandmyselffeelthatwithoutyourassistanceweshouldneverbewherewenoware。Forthatwegiveyoueverycredit。Butinstinctisliabletoerror。WhatIproposetodoistosubstituteforitScience，whichisexact。Now，where’sthesun？\"
\"Don’tyouthink，\"saidGeorge，\"thatifwemadeourwaybacktothevillage，andhiredaboyforamarktoguideus，itwouldsavetimeintheend？\"
\"Itwouldbewastinghours，\"saidHarris，withdecision。\"Youleavethistome。Ihavebeenreadingaboutthisthing，andithasinterestedme。\"Hetookouthiswatch，andbeganturninghimselfroundandround。
\"It’sassimpleasABC，\"hecontinued。\"Youpointtheshorthandatthesun，thenyoubisectthesegmentbetweentheshorthandandthetwelve，andthusyougetthenorth。\"
Heworriedupanddownforawhile，thenhefixedit。
\"NowI’vegotit，\"hesaid；\"that’sthenorth，wherethatwasps’
nestis。Nowgivemethemap。\"
Wehandedittohim，andseatinghimselffacingthewasps，heexaminedit。
\"Todtmoosfromhere，\"hesaid，\"issouthbysouth—west。\"
\"Howdoyoumean，fromhere？\"askedGeorge。
\"Why，fromhere，whereweare，\"returnedHarris。
\"Butwherearewe？\"saidGeorge。
ThisworriedHarrisforatime，butatlengthhecheeredup。
\"Itdoesn’tmatterwhereweare，\"hesaid。\"Whereverweare，Todtmoosissouthbysouth—west。Comeon，weareonlywastingtime。\"
\"Idon’tquiteseehowyoumakeitout，\"saidGeorge，asheroseandshoulderedhisknapsack；\"butIsupposeitdoesn’tmatter。Weareoutforourhealth，andit’sallpretty！\"
\"Weshallbeallright，\"saidHarris，withcheeryconfidence。\"WeshallbeinatTodtmoosbeforeten，don’tyouworry。AndatTodtmooswewillhavesomethingtoeat。\"
Hesaidthathe，himself，fanciedabeefsteak，followedbyanomelette。Georgesaidthat，personally，heintendedtokeephismindoffthesubjectuntilhesawTodtmoos。
Wewalkedforhalfanhour，thenemerginguponanopening，wesawbelowus，abouttwomilesaway，thevillagethroughwhichwehadpassedthatmorning。Ithadaquaintchurchwithanoutsidestaircase，asomewhatunusualarrangement。
Thesightofitmademesad。Wehadbeenwalkinghardforthreehoursandahalf，andhadaccomplished，apparently，aboutfourmiles。ButHarriswasdelighted。
\"Now，atlast，\"saidHarris，\"weknowwhereweare。\"
\"Ithoughtyousaiditdidn’tmatter，\"Georgeremindedhim。
\"Nomoreitdoes，practically，\"repliedHarris，\"butitisjustaswelltobecertain。NowIfeelmoreconfidenceinmyself。\"
\"I’mnotsosureaboutthatbeinganadvantage，\"mutteredGeorge。
ButIdonotthinkHarrisheardhim。
\"Wearenow，\"continuedHarris，\"eastofthesun，andTodtmoosissouth—westofwhereweare。Sothatif——\"
Hebrokeoff。\"By—the—by，\"hesaid，\"doyourememberwhetherI
saidthebisectinglineofthatsegmentpointedtothenorthortothesouth？\"
\"Yousaiditpointedtothenorth，\"repliedGeorge。
\"Areyoupositive？\"persistedHarris。
\"Positive，\"answeredGeorge\"butdon’tletthatinfluenceyourcalculations。Inallprobabilityyouwerewrong。\"
Harristhoughtforawhile；thenhisbrowcleared。
\"That’sallright，\"hesaid；\"ofcourse，it’sthenorth。Itmustbethenorth。Howcoulditbethesouth？Nowwemustmakeforthewest。Comeon。\"
\"Iamquitewillingtomakeforthewest，\"saidGeorge；\"anypointofthecompassisthesametome。Ionlywishtoremarkthat，atthepresentmoment，wearegoingdeadeast。\"
\"Nowearenot，\"returnedHarris；\"wearegoingwest。\"
\"Wearegoingeast，Itellyou，\"saidGeorge。
\"Iwishyouwouldn’tkeepsayingthat，\"saidHarris，\"youconfuseme。\"
\"Idon’tmindifIdo，\"returnedGeorge；\"Iwouldratherdothatthangowrong。Itellyouwearegoingdeadeast。\"
\"Whatnonsense！\"retortedHarris；\"there’sthesun。\"
\"Icanseethesun，\"answeredGeorge，\"quitedistinctly。Itmaybewhereitoughttobe，accordingtoyouandScience，oritmaynot。
AllIknowis，thatwhenweweredowninthevillage，thatparticularhillwiththatparticularlumpofrockuponitwasduenorthofus。Atthepresentmomentwearefacingdueeast。\"
\"Youarequiteright，\"saidHarris；\"Iforgotforthemomentthatwehadturnedround。\"
\"Ishouldgetintothehabitofmakinganoteofit，ifIwereyou，\"grumbledGeorge；\"it’samanoeuvrethatwillprobablyoccuragainmorethanonce。\"
Wefacedabout，andwalkedintheotherdirection。Attheendoffortyminutes’climbingweagainemergeduponanopening，andagainthevillagelayjustunderourfeet。Onthisoccasionitwassouthofus。
\"Thisisveryextraordinary，\"saidHarris。
\"Iseenothingremarkableaboutit，\"saidGeorge。\"Ifyouwalksteadilyroundavillageitisonlynaturalthatnowandthenyougetaglimpseofit。Myself，Iamgladtoseeit。Itprovestomethatwearenotutterlylost。\"
\"Itoughttobetheothersideofus，\"saidHarris。
\"Itwillbeinanotherhourorso，\"saidGeorge，\"ifwekeepon。\"
Isaidlittlemyself；Iwasvexedwithbothofthem；butIwasgladtonoticeGeorgeevidentlygrowingcrosswithHarris。ItwasabsurdofHarristofancyhecouldfindthewaybythesun。
\"IwishIknew，\"saidHarris，thoughtfully，\"forcertainwhetherthatbisectinglinepointstothenorthortothesouth。\"
\"Ishouldmakeupmymindaboutit，\"saidGeorge；\"it’sanimportantpoint。\"
\"It’simpossibleitcanbethenorth，\"saidHarris，\"andI’lltellyouwhy。\"
\"Youneedn’ttrouble，\"saidGeorge；\"Iamquitepreparedtobelieveitisn’t。\"
\"Yousaidjustnowitwas，\"saidHarris，reproachfully。
\"Isaidnothingofthesort，\"retortedGeorge。\"Isaidyousaiditwas——averydifferentthing。Ifyouthinkitisn’t，let’sgotheotherway。It’llbeachange，atallevents。\"
SoHarrisworkedthingsoutaccordingtothecontrarycalculation，andagainweplungedintothewood；andagainafterhalfanhour’sstiffclimbingwecameinviewofthatsamevillage。True，wewerealittlehigher，andthistimeitlaybetweenusandthesun。