ItwasinthisorderthatwearrivedattheSt。Leonards’。Veronica，underanawning，sippingicedsherbet，appearedtobethecentreoftheparty。Shewasrecountingherexperienceswithamodestythathadalreadywonallhearts。Therestofus，shehadexplained，hadpreferredwalking，andwouldarrivelater。Shewasevidentlypleasedtoseeme，andvolunteeredtheinformationthatthegreys，toallseeming，hadenjoyedtheirgallop。
IsentDickbacktobreakthegoodnewstohismother。YoungButesaidhewouldgotoo。HesaidhewasfresherthanDick，andwouldgettherefirst。Asamatterofhistoryhedid，andwasimmediatelysorrythathehad。
Thisisnotawell—orderedworld，oritwouldnotbeourgooddeedsthatwouldsooftengetusintotrouble。Robina’sinsistenceonourwalkingupthehillhadbeenpromptedbytenderfeelingfordumbanimals：avirtuousemotionthatsurelytheangelsshouldhaveblessed。Theresulthadbeentobringdownuponhersufferingandreproach。ItisnotoftenthatEthelberthaloseshertemper。Whenshedoesshemakesuseoftheoccasiontoperformwhatonemightdescribeasamentalspring—cleaning。Alllooseoddsandendsoftemperthatmaybelyingaboutinhermind——anyscrapofindignationthathasbeenreposingpeacefully，halfforgotten，inacornerofherbrain，sheferretsoutandbrushesintothegeneralheap。Smallannoyancesoftheyearbeforelast——littlethingsshehadn’tnoticedatthetime——incidentsinyourpastlifethat，sofarasyouareconcerned，presentthemselvesasdimvisionsconnectedmaybewithsomepreviousexistence，shewhiskstriumphantlyintoherpan。Themethodhasitsadvantages。Itleavesher，sweptandgarnished，withoutascrapofill—feelingtowardsanylivingsoul。Forquitealongperiodafteroneoftheseexplosionsitisimpossibletogetacrosswordoutofher。Onehastowaitsometimesformonths。Butwhiletheclearingupisinprogresstheatmosphereroundaboutisdisturbing。Theelementofthewholethingisitscomprehensiveswiftness。Beforetheyhadreachedthesummitofthehill，RobinahadacquiredatolerablycompleteideaofallshehaddonewrongsinceChristmastwelvemonth：thepresentafternoon’sproceedings——
includingastheydidthealmostcertainsacrificingofasistertoaviolentdeath，togetherwiththeprobabledestructionofafather，nolongerofanagetotriflewithapoplexy——beingbutafitandpropercomplementtowhathadgonebefore。Itwouldbelong，asRobinaherselfthateveningbitterlydeclared，beforeshewouldagaingiveeartothepromptingsofherbetternature。
TotakenextthesadcaseofArchibaldBute：hissoledesirehadbeentorelieve，attheearliestmomentpossible，theanxietiesofasisterandamother。Robina’snewhat，notintendedforsport，hadbrokenawayfromitsfastenings。Withit，ithadbroughtdownherhair。Thereisaharmlesscontrivanceforbuildingupthefemalehaircalled，Iamtold，apad。Itcanbemadeofcombings，andthen，ofcourse，isliterallythegirl’sownhair。HecameuponRobinaatthemomentwhen，retracingherstepsandwithherbacktowardshim，shewaslookingforit。Withhisusualluck，hewasthefirsttofindit。EthelberthathankedhimforhisinformationconcerningVeronica，butseemedchieflyanxioustopushonandconvinceherselfthatitwastrue。ShetookDick’sarm，andleftRobinatofollowonwithBute。
AsIexplainedtohimafterwards，hadhestoppedtoaskmyadviceI
shouldhavecounselledhisleavingthejobtoDick，who，afterall，wasonlythirtysecondsbehindhim。Asregardedhimself，Ishouldhavesuggestedhistakingawalkintheoppositedirection，returning，say，inhalfanhour，andpretendingtohavejustarrived。
BythattimeRobina，withtheassistanceofJanie’sbrushandcomb，andpossiblyherpowder—puff，wouldhavebeenfeelingherselfagain。
HecouldhavelistenedsympatheticallytoanaccountoftheaffairfromRobinaherself——herversion，inwhichshewouldhaveappearedtoadvantage。Givehertime，andshehasasenseofhumour。Shewouldhavemadeitbrightandwhimsical。Withoutassertingitinsomanywords，shewouldhaveconveyedtheimpression——Iknowherway——thatshealone，throughoutthewholecommotion，hadremainedcalmandhelpful。\"DearoldDick\"and\"Poordearpapa\"——Icanhearhersayingit——wouldhavesuppliedthelowcomedy，andVeronica，alludedtowithaffectionfreefromsentimentality，wouldhavefurnishedthedramaticinterest。ItisnotthatRobinaintendstomislead，butshehastheartisticinstinct。Itwouldhavemadequiteacharmingstory；Robinaalwaysthecentralfigure。Shewouldhaveenjoyedtellingit，andwouldhavebeenpleasedwiththepersonlistening。Allthis——whichwouldhavebeentherewardofsubterfuge——hehadmissed。VirtuousintentionhadgainedforhimnothingbutafewscatteredobservationsfromRobinaconcerninghimself；theprobableobjectofhisCreatorinfashioninghim——hisrelationtotheschemeofthingsingeneral：
observationsallofwhichhehadfelttobeunjust。
Wecomparedexperiencesoverapipethatsameevening；andhetoldmeofafriendofhis，alawstudent，whohadshareddiggingswithhiminEdinburgh。Akinder—heartedyoungman，Butefeltsure，couldneverhavebreathed；noronewithatenderer，morechivalrousregardforwomen；andthemiserythisbroughthim，tosaynothingoftheirritationcausedtoquiteanumberofrespectablepeople，couldhardlybeimagined，soyoungButeassuredme，byanyonenotpersonallyacquaintedwiththeparties。Itwastheplainandsnappygirl，andthelessattractivetypeofoldmaid，forwhomhefeltthemostsorrow。Hecouldnothelpthinkingofalltheyhadmissed，andwerelikelytogoonmissing；therapture——surelythewoman’sbirthright——offeelingherselfadored，anyhow，onceinherlife；thedelightofseeingthelover’seyelightupathercoming。HadhebeenaMormonhewouldhavemarriedthemall。Theytoo——theneglectedthatnonehadinvitedtothefeastoflove——theyalsoshouldknowthejoysofhome，feelthesweetcomfortofahusband’sarm。BeingaChristian，hispowerforgoodwaslimited。Butatleasthecouldliftfromthemthedespairingconvictionthattheywereoutsidethepaleofmasculineaffection。Notoneofthem，sofarashecouldhelpit，butshouldbeabletosay：
\"I——evenIhadaloveronce。No，dear，wenevermarried。Itwasoneofthosespiritualloves；aformalengagementwitharingwouldhavespoiledit——coarsenedit。No；itwasjustabeautifulthingthatcameintomylifeandpassedawayagain，leavingbehinditafragrancethathassweetenedallmydays。\"
Thatishowheimaginedtheywouldtalkaboutit，yearsafterwards，tothelittlenieceornephew，askingartlessquestions——howtheywouldfeelaboutitthemselves。Whetherlawcirclesarepeculiarlyrichinunattractivespinsters，orwhetheritmerelyhappenedtobeanexceptionalseasonforthem，Butecouldnotsay；butcertainitwasthatthenumberofsour—facedgirlsandfretfuloldmaidsinexcessofthedemandseemedtobegreaterthanusualthatwinterinEdinburgh，withtheresultthatyoungHapgoodhadabusytimeofit。
Hemadelovetothem，notobtrusively，whichmighthavelaidthemopentoridicule——manyofthemwereoldenoughtohavebeenhismother——butmorebyinsinuation，bysubtlesuggestion。Hisfeelings，sotheygathered，weretoodeepforwords；buttheadoringeyeswithwhichhewouldfollowtheireverymovement，theraptecstasywithwhichhewoulddrinkintheirlightestremarkabouttheweather，thetoneofalmostreverentialawewithwhichhewouldenquireofthemconcerningtheirlesserailments——allconveyedtotheirsympatheticobservationthemessagethathedarednottell。Hehadnofavourites。Sufficientitwasthatawomanshouldbeunpleasant，forhimtopouroutatherfeetthesimulatedpassionofalifetime。Hesentthempresents——nothingexpensive——wrappedinpleasingpretenceofanonymity；valentinescarefullyselectedfortheircompromisingcharacter。Onecarroty—headedoldmaidwithwartshehadkisseduponthebrow。
Allthishedidoutofhisgreatpityforthem。Itwasabeautifulidea，butitworkedbadly。Theydidnotunderstand——nevergotthehangofthething：notoneofthem。Theythoughthewasreallygoneonthem。Foratimehiselusiveness，hisbackwardnessincomingtothepoint，theyattributedtoafitandproperfearofhisfate；butasthemonthswentbythefeelingofeachonewasthathewascarryingtheapprehensionofhisownunworthinesstoofar。Theygavehimencouragement，providedforhim\"openings，\"tillthewondergrewuponthemhowanywomaneverdidgetmarried。Attheendoftheirresources，theyconsultedbosomfriends。Inseveralinstancesthebosomfriendturnedouttobethebosomfriendofmorethanoneofthem。Thebosomfriendsbegantotakeahandinit。Someofthemcametohimwithquitealittlelist，insisting——playfullyatfirst——
onhismakinguphismindwhathewasgoingtotakeandwhathewasgoingtoleave；offering，asrewardforpromptdecision，tomakethingsaseasyforhimaspossiblewiththeremainderofthecolumn。
Itwasthenhesawthathisgoodintentionswerelikelytoendincatastrophe。Hewouldnottellthetruth：thatthewholeschemehadbeenconceivedoutofcharitytowardsallill—constructedordilapidatedladies；thatpersonallyhedidn’tcareahangforanyofthem；hadonlytakenthemon，vulgarlyspeaking，togivethematreat，andbecausenobodyelsewould。Thatwasn’tgoingtobeagoldenmemory，colouringtheirotherwisedrabexistence。Heexplainedthatitwasnotlove——notthelovethatalonewouldjustifyaman’saskingofawomanthatsheshouldgiveherselftohimforlife——thathefeltandalwaysshouldfeelforthem，butmerelyadmirationanddeepesteem；andseventeenofthemthoughtthatwouldbesufficienttostartwith，andofferedtochancetherest。
Thetruthhadtocomeout。Friendswhoknewhisnoblenaturecouldnotsitbyandhearhimdenouncedasaheartlessandeccentricprofligate。Ladieswhosebeautyandpopularitywerebeyonddisputethoughtitatouchingandtenderthingforhimtohavedone；buteverywomantowhomhehadeveraddressedakindwordwantedtowringhisneck。
Hedidthemostsensiblethinghecould，underallthecircumstances；
changedhisaddresstoAberdeen，wherehehadanauntliving。Butthestoryfollowedhim。Nowomanwouldbeseenspeakingtohim。OneadmiringglancefromHapgoodwouldsendtheprettiestgirlshomeweepingtotheirmothers。Lateronhefellinlove——hopelessly，madlyinlove。Buthedarednottellher——darednotletalivingsoulguessit。Thatwastheonlywayhecouldshowit。Itisnotsufficient，inthisworld，towanttodogood；there’sgottobeaknackaboutit。
TherewasamanImetinColorado，oneChristmas—time。Iwasonalecturingtour。HisideawastosendalovinggreetingtohiswifeinNewYork。Hehadbeenmarriednineteenyears，andthiswasthefirsttimehehadbeenseparatedfromhisfamilyonChristmasDay。
Hepicturedthemroundthetableinthelittlefar—awayNewEnglandparlour；hiswife，hissister—in—law，UncleSilas，CousinJane，JackandWilly，andgolden—hairedLena。Theywouldbejustsittingdowntodinner，talkingabouthim，mostlikely；wishinghewereamongthem。Theywereanicefamilyandallfondofhim。Whatjoyitwouldgivethemtoknowthathewassafeandsound；toheartheverytonesofhislovedvoicespeakingtothem！Modernsciencehasmadepossiblethesemiracles。True，thelong—distancetelephonewouldcosthimfivedollars；butwhatisfivedollarsweighedagainsttheprivilegeofwaftinghappinesstoanentirefamilyonChristmasDay！
Wehadjustcomebackfromawalk。Heslammedthemoneydown，andlaughedaloudatthethoughtofthesurprisehewasabouttogivethemall。
Thetelephonebellrangoutclearanddistinctattheprecisemomentwhenhiswife，withknifeandforkinhand，waspreparingtocarvetheturkey。Shewasanervouslady，andtwicethatweekhaddreamedthatshehadseenherhusbandwithoutbeingabletogettohim。Onthefirstoccasionshehadseenhimenteradry—goodsstoreinBroadway，andhasteningacrosstheroadhadfollowedhimin。Hewashardlyadozenyardsinfrontofher，butbeforeshecouldovertakehimalltheyoungladyassistantshadrushedfrombehindtheircountersand，formingacircleroundher，hadrefusedtoletherpass，whichinherdreamhadirritatedherconsiderably。OnthenextoccasionhehadboardedaBrooklyncarinwhichshewasreturninghome。Shehadtriedtoattracthisattentionwithherumbrella，buthedidnotseemtoseeher；andeverytimesherosetogoacrosstohimthecargaveajerkandbumpedherbackintoherseat。Whenshedidgetovertohimitwasnotherhusbandatall，butthegentlemanoutoftheQuakerOatsadvertisement。Shewenttothetelephone，feeling——asshesaidherselfafterwards——allofatremble。
ThatyoucouldspeakfromColoradotoNewYorkshewouldnotthenhavebelievedhadyoutoldher。Thethingwasinitsearlystages，whichmayalsohaveaccountedforthevoicereachingherstrangeandbroken。Iwasstandingbesidehimwhilehespoke。WewereinthevestibuleoftheSavoyHotelatColoradoSprings。Itwasfiveo’clockintheafternoon，whichwouldbeaboutseveninNewYork。Hetoldherhewassafeandwell，andthatshewasnottofretabouthim。HetoldherhehadbeenthatmorningforawalkintheGardenoftheGods，whichisthenamegiventothelocalpark；theydothatsortofthinginColorado。Alsothathehaddrunkfromthesilicialspringsaboundinginthatfavouredland。Iamnotsurethat\"silicial\"wasthecorrectword。Hewasnotsurehimself：addedtowhichhepronounceditbadly。Whatevertheywere，heassuredhertheyhaddonehimgood。HesentaspecialmessagetohisCousinJane——amaidenladyofmeans——totheeffectthatshecouldrelyuponseeinghimsoon。Shewasatouchyoldlady，andlikedtobesingledoutforspecialattention。Hemadetheusualkindenquiriesabouteverybody，sentthemallhisblessing，andonlywishedtheycouldbewithhiminthisdelectablelandwhereitseemedtobealwayssunshineandbalmybreezes。Hecouldhavesaidmore，buthistimebeingupthetelephonepeopleswitchedhimoff；andfeelinghehaddoneagoodandthoughtfuldeed，hesuggestedagameofbilliards。
Couldhehavebeenawitnessofeventsattheotherendofthewire，hisconditionwouldhavebeenoneoflessself—complacence。Longbeforetheendofthefirstsentencehiswifehadcometotheconclusionthatthiswasamessagefromthedead。Whythroughatelephonedidnotgreatlyworryher。Itseemedasreasonableamediumasanyothershehadeverheardof——indeedatriflemoreso。
Later，whenshewasabletoreviewthemattercalmly，itaffordedhersomeconsolationtoreflectthatthingsmighthavebeenworse。That\"garden，\"togetherwiththe\"silicialsprings\"——whichshetooktobe\"celestial，\"therewasnotmuchdifferencethewayhepronouncedit——
wasdistinctlyreassuring。The\"eternalsunshine\"andthe\"balmybreezes\"likewiseagreedwithherknowledgeofheavenlytopographyasderivedfromtheCongregationalHymn—Book。Thatheshouldhaveneededtoenquireconcerningthehealthofherselfandthechildrenhadpuzzledher。Theonlyexplanationwasthattheydidn’tknoweverything，notevenup。There——maybe，notthenew—comers。Shehadansweredascoherentlyasherstateofdistractionwouldpermit，andhadthendroppedlimplytothefloor。Itwasthesoundofherfallingagainsttheumbrella—standandupsettingitthatbroughtthemalltroopingoutfromthedining—room。
Ittookhersometimetogetthethinghometothem；andwhenshehadfinished，herbrotherSilas，actingontheimpulseofthemoment，ranguptheExchange，withsomevagueideaofgettingintocommunicationwithSt。Peterandobtainingfurtherparticulars，butrecollectedhimselfintimetoexplaintothe\"hulloagirl\"thathehadmadeamistake。
Theeldestboy，apracticalyouth，pointedout，verysensibly，thatnothingcouldbegainedbytheirnotgoingonwiththeirdinner，butwasbitterlyreproachedforbeingabletothinkofanyformofenjoymentatamomentwhenhispoordearfatherwasinheaven。ItremindedhismotherofthespecialmessagetoCousinJane，whouptothatmomenthadbeenplayingthepartofcomforter。WiththecollapseofCousinJane，dramaticinitssuddenness，conversationdisappeared。Atnineo’clocktheentirefamilywentdinnerlesstobed。
Theeldestboy——asIhavesaid，apracticalyouth——hadthesensetogetupearlythenextmorningandsendawire，whichbroughtthegladnewsbacktothemthattheirbelovedonewasnotinheaven，butwasstillinColorado。Buttheonlyrewardmyfriendgotforallhistenderthoughtfulnesswasthevehementinjunctionneverfortheremainderofhislifetoplaysuchafool’strickagain。
TherewereothercasesIcouldhaverecitedshowingtheillrecompensethatsooftenovertakesthevirtuousaction；but，asI
explainedtoBute，itwouldhavesaddenedmetodwelluponthetheme。
ItwasquitealargepartyassembledattheSt。Leonards’，includingoneortwocountypeople，andIshouldhaveliked，myself，tohavemadeabetterentrance。AlargeladywithaverysmallvoiceseemedtobeundertheimpressionthatIhadarrangedthewholebusinessonpurpose。Shesaiditwas\"sodramatic。\"Onegoodthingcameoutofit：Janie，inherquiet，quickway，sawtoitthatEthelberthaandRobinaslippedintothehouseunnoticedbywayofthedairy。Whentheyjoinedtheotherguests，halfanhourlater，theyhadhadacupofteaandarest，andwerefeelingcalmandcool，withtheirhairnicelydone；andEthelbertharemarkedtoRobinaonthewayhomewhatacomfortitmustbetoMrs。St。Leonardtohaveadaughtersocapable，onewhoknewjusttherightthingtodo，anddiditwithoutmakingafussandadisturbance。
Everyonewasverynice。Ofcoursewemadetheusualmistake：theytalkedtomeaboutbooksandplays，andIgavethemmyviewsonagricultureandcub—hunting。I’mnotquitesurewhatfoolitwaswhodescribedaboreasamanwhotalkedabouthimself。Asamatteroffactitistheonlysubjecttheaveragemanknowssufficientlywelltomakeinteresting。There’samanIknow；hemakesafortuneoutofapatentfoodforinfants。Hebeganlifeasadairyfarmer，andhituponitquitebyaccident。Whenhetalksaboutthehumoursofcompanypromotingandthetricksoftheadvertisingagentheisamusing。Ihavesatathistable，whenhewasabachelor，andlistenedtohimbythehourwithenjoyment。Themistakehemadewasmarryingabroad—minded，culturedwoman，whoruinedhim——
conversationally，Imean。Heisnowwell—informedandtiresomeonmosttopics。Thatiswhyactorsandactressesarealwayssuchdelightfulcompany：theyarenotashamedtotalkaboutthemselves。
Irememberadinner—partyonce：ourhostwasoneofthebest—knownbarristersinLondon。Afamousladynovelistsatonhisright，andascientistofworld—widereputationhadtheplaceofhonournextourhostess，whoherselfhadwrittenahistoryofthestrugglefornationalityinSouthAmericathatservesasanauthoritytoalltheForeignOfficesinEurope。Amongtheremainingguestswereabishop，theeditor—in—chiefofaLondondailynewspaper，amanwhoknewtheinteriorofChinaaswellasmostmenknowtheirownclub，aRussianrevolutionistjustescapedfromSiberia，aleadingdramatist，aCabinetMinister，andapoetwhosenameisahouseholdwordwherevertheEnglishtongueisspoken。Andfortwohourswesatandlistenedtoawicked—lookinglittlewomanwhofromtheboardsofaBowerymusic—hallhadworkedherwayuptothepositionofastarinmusicalcomedy。Education，assheobservedherselfwithoutregret，hadnotbeencompulsorythroughoutthewatersidedistrictofChicagoinheryoungdays；and，compelledtoearnherownlivingfromtheageofthirteen，opportunityforsupplyingtheoriginaldeficiencyhadbeenwanting。Butsheknewhersubject，whichwasHerself——herexperiences，herreminiscences：andbadsenseenoughtosticktoit。
Untilthemomentwhenshetook\"thelibertyofchippingin，\"touseherownexpression，theamountoftwaddletalkedhadbeenappalling。
ThebishophadtoldusallhehadlearntaboutChinaduringavisittoSanFrancisco，whilethemanwhohadspentthelasttwentyyearsofhislifeinthecountrywasbusyexplaininghisviewsonthesubjectoftheEnglishdrama。Ourhostesshadbeenendeavouringtomakethescientistfeelathomebytalkingtohimaboutradium。ThedramatisthadexplainedatsomelengthhisviewsofthecrisisinRussia。ThepoethadquitespoilthisdinnertryingtosuggesttotheCabinetMinisternewsourcesoftaxation。TheRussianrevolutionisthadtolduswhatoughttohavebeenafunnystoryaboutaduck；andtheladynovelistandtheCabinetMinisterhaddiscussedChristianScienceforaquarterofanhour，eachunderthemistakenimpressionthattheotheronewasabelieverinit。TheeditorhadbeenexplainingtheattitudeoftheChurchtowardstheNewTheology；
andourhost，oneofthewittiestmenattheBar，hadbeentalkingchieflytothebutler。Thereliefoflisteningtoanybodytalkingaboutsomethingtheyknewwaslikefindingamatch—boxtoamanwhohasbeenbarkinghisshinsinthedark。Fortherestofthedinnerweclungtoher。
IcouldhavemademyselfquiteinterestingtothesegoodsquiresandfarmerstalkingtothemabouttheatresandtheliterarycelebritiesI
havemet；andtheycouldhavetoldmedogstoriesandgivenmeusefulinformationastotheworkingoftheSmallHoldingsAct。Theysaidsomeverycharmingthingsaboutmybooks——mostlytotheeffectthattheyreadandenjoyedthemwhenfeelingillorsufferingfrommentalcollapse。Igatheredthathadtheyalwayscontinuedinahealthystateofmindandbodyitwouldnothaveoccurredtothemtoreadme。
OnemanassuredmeIhadsavedhislife。Itwashisbrain，hetoldme。Hehadbeensoupsetbysomethingthathadhappenedtohimthathehadalmostlosthisreason。Thereweretimeswhenhecouldnotevenrememberhisownname；hismindseemedanabsoluteblank。Andthenonedaybychance——orProvidence，orwhateveryouchoosetocallit——hehadtakenupabookofmine。Itwastheonlythinghehadbeenabletoreadformonthsandmonths！Andnow，wheneverhefelthimselfrundown——hisbrainlikeasqueezedorange（thatwashissimile）——hewouldputeverythingelseasideandreadabookofmine——
anyone：itdidn’tmatterwhich。Isupposeoneoughttobegladthatonehassavedsomebody’slife；butIshouldliketohavethechoosingofthemmyself。
IamnotsurethatEthelberthaisgoingtolikeMrs。St。Leonard；andIdon’tthinkMrs。St。LeonardwillmuchlikeEthelbertha。IhavegatheredthatMrs。St。Leonarddoesn’tlikeanybodymuch——except，ofcourse，whenitisherduty。Shedoesnotseemtohavethetime。
Manisborntotrouble，anditisnotbadphilosophytogetoneselfaccustomedtothefeeling。ButMrs。St。Leonardhasgivenherselfuptothepursuitoftroubletotheexclusionofallotherinterestsinlife。SheappearstoregarditastheonlycallingworthyaChristianwoman。Ifoundheraloneoneafternoon。Hermannerwaspreoccupied；IaskedifIcouldbeofanyassistance。
\"No，\"sheanswered，\"Iammerelytryingtothinkwhatitcanbethathasbeenworryingmeallthemorning。Ithascleangoneoutofmyhead。\"
Sheremembereditalittlelaterwithagladsigh。
St。Leonardhimself，Ethelberthathinkscharming。WearetogoagainonSundayforhertoseethechildren。ThreeorfourpeoplewemetI
fancyweshallbeabletofitinwith。Weleftathalf—pastsix，andtookButebackwithustosupper。
CHAPTERX
\"She’sagoodwoman，\"saidRobina。
\"Who’sagoodwoman？\"Iasked。
\"He’strying，Iexpect；althoughheisanolddear：tolivewith，I
mean，\"continuedRobina，addressingapparentlytherisingmoon。\"Andthenthereareallthosechildren。\"
\"YouarethinkingofMrs。St。Leonard，\"Isuggested。
\"Thereseemsnowayofmakingherhappy，\"explainedRobina。\"OnThursdayIwentroundearlyinthemorningtohelpJaniepackthebasketsforthepicnic。Itwasherownidea，thepicnic。\"
\"Speakingofpicnics，\"Isaid。
\"Youmighthavethought，\"wentonRobina，\"thatshewasdressingforherownfuneral。Shesaidsheknewshewasgoingtocatchherdeathofcold，sittingonthewetgrass。Somethingtoldher。Iremindedherithadn’trainedforthreeweeks，andthateverythingwasasdryasabone，butshesaidthatmadenodifferencetograss。Thereisalwaysamoistureingrass，andthatcushionsandallthatonlyhelpedtodrawitout。Notthatitmattered。Theendhadtocome，andsolongastheotherswerehappy——youknowherstyle。Nobodyeverthoughtofher。Shewastobedraggedhere，draggedthere。Shetalkedaboutherselfasifsheweresomesacredimage。Itgotuponmynervesatlast，sothatIpersuadedJanietoletmeoffertostopathomewithher。Iwasn’ttookeenaboutgoingmyself；notbythattime。\"
\"Whenourdesiresleaveus，saysRochefoucauld，\"Iremarked，\"weprideourselvesuponourvirtueinhavingovercomethem。\"
\"Well，itwasherfault，anyhow，\"retortedRobina；\"andIdidn’tmakeavirtueofit。ItoldherI’djustassoonnotgo，andthatIfeltsuretheotherswouldbeallrightwithouther，sothattherewasnoneedforhertobedraggedanywhere。Andthensheburstintotears。\"
\"Shesaid，\"Isuggested，\"thatitwashardonhertohavechildrenwhocouldwishtogotoapicnicandleavetheirmotherathome；thatitwaslittleenoughenjoymentshehadinherlife，heavenknows；
thatiftherewasonethingshehadbeenlookingforwardtoitwasthisday’souting；butstill，ofcourse，ifeverybodywouldbehappierwithouther——\"
\"Somethingofthesort，\"admittedRobina；\"onlytherewasalotofit。Wehadtoallfussroundher，andswearthatwithoutheritwouldn’tbeworthcallingapicnic。Shebrighteneduponthewayhome。\"
Thescreech—owlintheyew—treeemittedablood—curdlingscream。Heperchesthereeacheveningontheextremeendofthelongestbough。
Dimlyoutlinedagainstthenight，hehastheappearanceofafriendlyhobgoblin。ButIwishhedidn’tfancyhimselfasavocalist。Itisagainsthisowninterests，Iamsure，ifheonlyknewit。ThatAmericancollegeyellofhismusthavetheeffectofsendingeverylivingthingwithinhalfamilebackintoitshole。Maybeitisaprovisionofnatureforclearingofftheveryoldmicewhohavebecomestonedeafandwouldotherwisebeaburdenontheirrelatives。
Theothers，unlessoutforsuicide，must，onethinks，betolerablysafe。Ethelberthaispersuadedheisasignofdeath；butseeingthereisn’tasquarequarterofamileinthiscountywithoutitsscreech—owl，therecanhardlybythistimebearesidentthatanAssuranceSocietywouldlookat。Veronicalikeshim。Sheevenlikeshisscreech。Ifoundherunderthetreetheothernight，wrappedupinashawl，tryingtolearnit。Asifoneofthemwerenotenough！
Itmademequitecrosswithher。Besides，itwasn’tabitlikeit，asItoldher。ShesaiditwasbetterthanIcoulddo，anyhow；andI
wasidiotenoughtotakeupthechallenge。Itmakesmeangrynow，whenIthinkofit：arespectable，middle—agedliteraryman，standingunderayew—treetryingtoscreechlikeanowl。Andthebirdwassillyenoughtoencourageus。
\"Shewasacharminggirl，\"Isaid，\"seven—and—twentyyearsago，whenSt。Leonardfellinlovewithher。Shehadthosedark，dreamyeyessosuggestiveofveiledmysteries；andherlipsmusthavelookedbewitchingwhentheypouted。Iexpecttheyoftendid。Theydosostill；butthepoutofawomanofforty—sixnolongerfascinates。Toaprettygirlofnineteenaspiceoftemper，anillogicalunreasonableness，areaddedattractions：thescratchofablue—eyedkittenonlytemptsustoteaseherthemore。YoungHubertSt。
Leonard——hehadcurlybrownhair，withaprettytrickofblushing，andwasgoingtoconquertheworld——foundherfretfulness，herveryselfishnessadorable：andtoldherso，kneelingbeforeher，gazingintoherbewilderingeyes——onlyhecalleditherwaywardness，herimperiousness；beggedherforhissaketobemorecapricious。Toldherhowbeautifulshelookedwhendispleased。So，nodoubt，shedid—
—atnineteen。\"
\"Hedidn’ttellyouallthat，didhe？\"demandedRobina。
\"Notaword，\"Ireassuredher，\"exceptthatshewasacknowledgedbyallauthoritiestohavebeenthemostbeautifulgirlinTunbridgeWells，andthatherfatherhadbeenruinedbyarascallysolicitor。
No，Iwasmerely，tousethephraseoftheFrenchpolicecourts，’reconstructingthecrime。’\"
\"Itmaybeallwrong，\"grumbledRobina。
\"Itmaybe，\"Iagreed。\"Butwhy？Doesitstrikeyouasimprobable？\"
Weweresittingintheporch，waitingforDicktocomebythewhitepathacrossthefield。
\"No，\"answeredRobina。\"Itallsoundsveryprobable。Iwishitdidn’t。\"
\"Youmustremember，\"Icontinued，\"thatIamanoldplaygoer。Ihavesatoutsomanyofthisworld’sdramas。Itisaseasytoreconstructthembackwardsasforwards。WearewitnessingthelastactoftheSt。Leonarddrama：thatunsatisfactorylastactthatmerelyfillsouttimeaftertheplayisended！Theintermediateactswereprobablymoreexciting，containing’passionatescenes’playedwithmuchearnestness；chieflyfortheamusementoftheservants。Butthefirstact，withtheKentishlanesandwoodsforaback—cloth，musthavebeencharming。Herewasthedevoutlovershehadheardof，dreamedof。Itisdelightfultoberegardedasperfection——notabsoluteperfection，forthatmightputastrainuponustoliveupto，butassonearperfectionthattobemoreperfectwouldjustspoilit。Thespotsuponus，thatunappreciativefriendsandrelationswouldmagnifyintoblemishes，seenintheirtruelight：
artisticshadingrelievingafaultlessnessthatmightotherwiseprovetooglaring。DearHubertfoundherexcellentjustasshewasineverydetail。ItwouldhavebeenacrimeagainstLoveforhertoseektochangeherself。\"
\"Well，then，itwashisfault，\"arguedRobina。\"Ifhewassillyenoughtolikeherfaults，andencourageherinthem——\"
\"Whatcouldhehavedone，\"Iasked，\"evenifhehadseenthem？A
loverdoesnotpointouthismistress’sshortcomingstoher。\"
\"Muchthemoresensibleplanifhedid，\"insistedRobina。\"Thenifshecaredforhimshecouldsettoworktocureherself。\"
\"Youwouldlikeit？\"Isaid；\"youwouldappreciateitinyourowncase？CanyouimagineyoungBute——？\"
\"WhyyoungBute？\"demandedRobina；\"what’shegottodowithit？\"
\"Nothing，\"Ianswered；\"exceptthathehappenstobethefirstmalecreatureyouhaveevercomeacrosssinceyouweresixthatyouhaven’tflirtedwith。\"
\"Idon’tflirtwiththem，\"saidRobina；\"Imerelytrytobenicetothem。\"
\"WiththeexceptionofyoungBute，\"Ipersisted。
\"Heirritatesme，\"Robinaexplained。
\"Iwasreading，\"Isaid，\"theotherday，anaccountofthemarriagecustomsprevailingamongtheLowerCaucasians。Thelovertakeshisstandbeneathhislady’swindow，and，havingattractedherattention，proceedstosing。Andifsheseemstolikeit——ifshelistenstoitwithoutgettingmad，thatmeansshedoesn’twanthim。Butifshegetsupsetaboutit——slamsdownthewindowandwalksaway，thenit’sallright。Ithinkit’stheLowerCaucasians。\"
\"Mustbeaverysillypeople，\"saidRobina；\"Isupposeapailofwaterwouldbethehighestproofofheraffectionhecouldhopefor。\"
\"Acomplexbeing，man，\"Iagreed。\"WewillcallhimX。CanyouimagineyoungXcomingtoyouandsaying：’MydearRobina，youhavemanyexcellentqualities。Youcanbeamiable——solongasyouarehavingyourownwayineverything；butthwartedyoucanbejusthorrid。Youareverykind——tothosewhoarewillingforyoutobekindtotheminyourownway，whichisnotalwaystheirway。Youcanbequiteunselfish——whenyouhappentobeinanunselfishmood，whichisfarfromfrequent。Youarecapableandclever，but，likemostcapableandcleverpeople，impatientanddomineering；highlyenergeticwhennotfeelinglazy；readytoforgivethemomentyourtemperisexhausted。Youaregenerousandfrank，butifyourobjectcouldonlybegainedthroughmeannessordeceityouwouldnothesitateamomentlongerthanwasnecessarytoconvinceyourselfthatthecircumstancesjustifiedthemeans。Youaresympathetic，tender—
hearted，andhaveafinesenseofjustice；butIcanseethattongueofyours，ifnotcarefullywatched，wearingdecidedlyshrewish。Youhaveanyamountofgrit。Amanmightgotiger—huntingwithyou——withnoonebetter；butyouareobstinate，conceited，andexacting。Inshort，tosumyouup，youhaveallthemakingsinyouofanidealwifecombinedwithfaultssufficienttomakeaSocratesregrethe’devermarriedyou。’\"
\"Yes，Iwould！\"saidRobina，springingtoherfeet。Icouldnotseeherface，butIknewtherewasthelookuponitthatmadePrimgatewanttopaintherasJoanofArc；onlyitwouldneverstoplongenough。\"I’dlovehimfortalkinglikethat。AndI’drespecthim。
IfhewasthatsortofmanI’dprayGodtohelpmetobethesortofwomanhewantedmetobe。I’dtry。I’dtryalldaylong。Iwould！\"
\"Iwonder，\"Isaid。Robinahadsurprisedme。Iadmitit。IthoughtIknewthesexbetter。
\"Anygirlwould，\"saidRobina。\"He’dbeworthit。\"
\"Itwouldbeanewidea，\"Imused。\"GottimHimmel！whatanewworldmightitnotcreate！\"Thefancybegantotakeholdofme。\"Lovenolongerblind。Loverefusinganymoretobethepoorblindfool——
sportofgodsandmen。Lovenolongerpassion’sslave。Hisbondsbroken，thesenselessbandageflungaside。Lovehelpinglifeinsteadofmuddlingit。Marriage，thefoundationofcivilisation，nolongerreareduponthesandsofliesandillusions，butgrappledtotherockoftruth——reality。Haveyoueverread’TomJones？’\"Isaid。
\"No，\"answeredRobina；\"I’vealwayshearditwasn’tanicebook。\"
\"Itisn’t，\"Isaid。\"Manisn’taniceanimal，notallofhim。Norwomaneither。There’sadealofthebeastinman。Whatcanyouexpect？TillafewpaltrythousandsofyearsagoheWASabeast，fightingwithotherbeasts，hisfellowdenizensofthewoodsandcaves；watchingforhisprey，crouchedinthelonggrassoftheriver’sbank，tearingitwithclawsandteeth，growlingasheate。
Sohelivedanddiedthroughthedimunnamedages，transmittinghisbeast’sblood，hisbestialinstincts，tohisoffspring，growingeverstronger，fiercer，fromgenerationtogeneration，whiletherockspileduptheirstrataandtheoceansshapedtheirbeds。Moses！Why，LordRothschild’sgreat—grandfather，afewscoretimesremoved，musthaveknownMoses，talkedwithhim。Babylon！Itisamoderncity，fallenintodisuseforthemoment，owingtoalterationoftrafficroutes。History！itisataleofto—day。Manwascrawlingabouttheworldonallfours，learningtobeananimalformillionsofyearsbeforethesecretofhisbirthwaswhisperedtohim。Itisonlyduringthelastfewcenturiesthathehasbeentryingtobeaman。
Ourmodernmorality！Why，comparedwiththeteachingsofnature，itisbutafewdaysold。Whatdoyouexpect？Thatheshallforgetthelessonsoftheaeonsatthebiddingofthehours？\"
\"Thenyouadvisemetoread’TomJones’？\"saidRobina。
\"Yes，\"Isaid，\"Ido。IshouldnotifIthoughtyouwerestillachild，knowingonlyblindtrust，orblindterror。Thesunisnotextinguishedbecauseoccasionallyobscuredbymist；thescentoftheroseisnotdeadbecauseofthewormintheleaf。Ahealthyrosecanaffordafewworms——hasgotto，anyhow。AllmenarenotTomJoneses。
Thestandardofmasculinebehaviourcontinuestogoup：manyofusmakefineeffortstoconformtoit，andsomeofussucceed。ButtheTomJonesisthereinallofuswhoarenotanaemicorconsumptive。
Andthere’snosenseatallingettingcrosswithusaboutit，becausewecannothelpit。Wearedoingourbest。Inanotherhundredthousandyearsorso，providedallgoeswell，weshallbetheperfectman。Andseeingourearlytraining，Iflattermyselfthat，uptothepresent，wehavedoneremarkablywell。\"
\"Nothinglikebeingsatisfiedwithoneself，\"saidRobina。
\"I’mnotsatisfied，\"Isaid；\"I’monlyhopeful。ButitirritatesmewhenIhearpeopletalkasthoughmanhadbeenbornawhite—souledangelandwasmakingsupernaturaleffortstobecomeasinner。Thatseemstomethewaytodiscouragehim。Whathewantsisbuckingup；
somebodytosaytohim，’Bravo！why，thisissplendid！Justthink，myboy，whatyouwere，andthatnotsoverylongago——anunwashed，hairysavage；yourlawthatofthejungle，yourmoralsthoseoftherabbit—warren。Nowlookatyourself——dressedinyourlittleshinyhat，yourtrousersneatlycreased，walkingwithyourwifetochurchonSunday！Keepon——that’sallyou’vegottodo。InafewmorecenturiesyourownmotherNaturewon’tknowyou。
\"Youwomen，\"Icontinued；\"why，ahandfulofyearsagoweboughtandsoldyou，keptyouincages，tookthesticktoyouwhenyouwerenotspryindoingwhatyouweretold。DidyoueverreadthehistoryofPatientGriselda？\"
\"Yes，\"saidRobina，\"Ihave。\"IgatheredfromhertonethattheJoanofArcexpressionhaddeparted。HadPrimgatewantedtopaintheratthatparticularmomentIshouldhavesuggestedKatherine——duringtheearlierstages——listeningtoacurtainlecturefromPetruchio。\"Areyousuggestingthatallwomenshouldtakeherforamodel？\"
\"No，\"Isaid，\"I’mnot。ThoughwerewelivinginChaucer’stimeI
might；andyouwouldnotthinkitevensilly。WhatI’mimpressinguponyouisthatthehumanracehasyetalittlewaytotravelbeforetheaveragemancanberegardedasanup—to—dateeditionofKingArthur——theKingArthurofthepoeticallegend，Imean。Don’tbetooimpatientwithhim。\"
\"Thinkingwhatabeasthehasbeenoughttomakehimimpatienthimselfwithhimself，\"consideredRobina。\"Heoughttobefeelingsoashamedofhimselfastobewillingtodoanything。\"
Theowlintheoldyewscreamed，whetherwithindignationoramusementIcannottell。
\"Andwoman，\"Isaid，\"hadthepowerbeenhers，wouldshehaveusedittosweeterpurpose？Whereisyourevidence？YourCleopatras，Pompadours，Jezebels；yourCatherinesofRussia，lateEmpressesofChina；yourFaustinesofallagesandallclimes；yourMotherBrownriggs；yourLucretiaBorgias，Salomes——Icouldwearyyouwithnames。YourRomantask—mistresses；yourdriversoflodging—houseslaveys；yourladieswhowhippedtheirpagestodeathintheMiddleAges；yourmoderndamesoffashion，deckedwiththeplumageofthetorturedgrove。Therehavebeenotherwomenalso——noblewomen，theirnameslikebeacon—lightsstuddingthedarkwasteofhistory。Sotherehavebeennoblemen——saints，martyrs，heroes。Thesex—linedividesusphysically，notmorally。Womanhasbeenman’saccompliceintoomanycrimestoclaimtobehisjudge。’MaleandfemalecreatedHethem’——likeandlike，forgoodandevil。\"
BygoodfortuneIfoundaloosematch。Ilightedafreshcigar。
\"Dick，Isuppose，istheaverageman，\"saidRobina。
\"Mostofusare，\"Isaid，\"whenweareathome。CarlylewastheaveragemaninthelittlefrontparlourinCheyneRow，though，tohearfoolstalk，youmightthinknomarriedcoupleoutsideliterarycircleshadeverbeenknowntoexchangeacrosslook。SowasOliverCromwellinhisownpalacewiththedoorshut。Mrs。Cromwellmusthavethoughthimmonstroussilly，placingstickysweetmeatsforhisgueststositon——toldhimso，mostlikely。Acheery，kindlyman，notwithstanding，thoughgiventomoods。HeandMrs。Cromwellseemtohaverubbedalong，onthewhole，prettywelltogether。OldSamJohnson——great，God—fearing，lovable，cantankerousoldbrute！Lifewithhim，inasmallhouseonalimitedincome，musthavehaditsupsanddowns。MiltonandFredericktheGreatwere，onehopes，alittlebelowtheaverage。Didtheirbest，nodoubt；lackedunderstanding。
Notsoeasyasitlooks，livinguptothestandardoftheaverageman。Verycleverpeople，inparticular，findittiring。\"
\"Ishallnevermarry，\"saidRobina。\"Atleast，IhopeIsha’n’t。\"
\"Why’hope’？\"Iasked。
\"BecauseIhopeIshallneverbeidiotenough，\"sheanswered。\"Iseeitallsoclearly。IwishIdidn’t。Love！it’sonlyanuglythingwithaprettyname。Itwillnotbemethathewillfallinlovewith。Hewillnotknowmeuntilitistoolate。Howcanhe？Itwillbemerelywiththeoutsideofme——mypink—and—whiteskin，myroundedarms。IfeelitsometimeswhenIseemenlookingatme，anditmakesmemad。Andatothertimestheadmirationintheireyespleasesme。Andthatmakesmemadderstill。\"
Themoonhadslippedbehindthewood。Shehadrisen，and，leaningagainsttheporch，wasstandingwithherhandsclasped。Ifancyshehadforgottenme。Sheseemedtobetalkingtothenight。
\"It’sonlyatrickofNaturetomakefoolsofus，\"shesaid。\"HewilltellmeIamalltheworldtohim；thathislovewilloutlivethestars——willbelieveithimselfatthetime，poorfellow！Hewillcallmeahundredprettynames，willkissmyfeetandhands。AndifI’mfoolenoughtolistentohim，itmaylast\"——shelaughed；itwasratheranuglylaugh——\"sixmonths；withluckperhapsayear，ifI’mcarefulnottogooutintheeastwindandcomehomewitharednose，andneverlethimcatchmeincurlpapers。Itwillnotbemethathewillwant：onlymyyouth，andthenoveltyofme，andthemystery。
Andwhenthatisgone——\"
Sheturnedtome。ItwasastrangefaceIsawtheninthepalelight，quiteafiercelittleface。Shelaidherhandsuponmyshoulders，andIfeltthemcold。\"Whatcomeswhenitisdead？\"shesaid。\"Whatfollows？Youmustknow。Tellme。Iwantthetruth。\"
Hervehemencehadarisensosuddenly。ThelittlegirlIhadsetouttotalkwithwasnolongerthere。Tomybewilderment，itwasawomanthatwasquestioningme。
Idrewherdownbesideme。Butthechildishfacewasstillstern。
\"Iwantthetruth，\"shesaid；sothatIansweredverygravely：
\"Whenthepassionispassed；whenthegloryandthewonderofDesire—
—Nature’seternalritualofmarriage，solemnising，sanctifyingittohercommands——isended；when，soonerorlater，somegreydawnfindsyouwanderingbewilderedinoncefamiliarplaces，seekingvainlythelostpalaceofyouth’sdreams；whenLove’sfrenzyisfaded，likethefragranceoftheblossom，likethesplendourofthedawn；therewillremaintoyou，justwhatwastherebefore——nomore，noless。Ifpassionwasallyouhadtogivetooneanother，Godhelpyou。Youhavehadyourhourofmadness。Itisfinished。Ifgreedofpraiseandworshipwasyourprice——well，youhavehadyourpayment。Thebargainiscomplete。Ifmerehopetobemadehappywasyourlure，onepitiesyou。Wedonotmakeeachotherhappy。Happinessisthegiftofthegods，notofman。Thesecretlieswithinyou，notwithout。WhatremainstoyouwilldependnotuponwhatyouTHOUGHT，butuponwhatyouARE。Ifbehindthelovertherewastheman——behindtheimpossiblegoddessofhislove—sickbrainsomehonest，humanwoman，thenlifeliesnotbehindyou，butbeforeyou。
\"Lifeisgiving，notgetting。Thatisthemistakewemostofussetoutwith。Itistheworkthatisthejoy，notthewages；thegame，notthescore。Thelover’sdelightistoyield，nottoclaim。Thecrownofmotherhoodispain。ToservetheStateatcostofeaseandleisure；tospendhisthoughtandlabouruponahundredschemes，istheman’sambition。Lifeisdoing，nothaving。Itistogainthepeaktheclimberstrives，nottopossessit。Foolsmarrythinkingwhattheyaregoingtogetoutofit：goodstoreofjoysandpleasure，opportunitiesforself—indulgence，eternalsoftcaresses——
thewagesofthewanton。Therewardsofmarriagearetoil，duty，responsibility——manhood，womanhood。Love’sbabytalkyouwillhaveoutgrown。Youwillnolongerbehis’Goddess，’’Angel，’’PopsyWopsy，’’Queenofhisheart。’Therearefinernamesthanthese：
wife，mother，priestessinthetempleofhumanity。Marriageisrenunciation，thesacrificeofSelfuponthealtaroftherace。’A
trickofNature’youcallit。Perhaps。ButatrickofNaturecompellingyoutosurrenderyourselftothepurposesofGod。\"
Ifancywemusthavesatinsilenceforquitealongwhile；forthemoon，creepingupwardpastthewood，hadfloodedthefieldsagainwithlightbeforeRobinaspoke。
\"Thenallloveisneedless，\"shesaid，\"wecoulddobetterwithoutit，choosewithmorediscretion。Ifitisonlysomethingthatworriesusforalittlewhileandthenpasses，whatisthesenseofit？\"
\"YoucouldaskthesamequestionofLifeitself，\"Isaid；\"’somethingthatworriesusforalittlewhile，thenpasses。’Perhapsthe’worry，’asyoucallit，hasitsuses。Volcanicupheavalsarenecessarytothemakingofaworld。Withoutthemthegroundwouldremainrock—bound，unfittedforitspurposes。ThatexplosionofYouth’spent—upforcesthatwetermLoveservestothemakingofmanandwoman。Itdoesnotdie，ittakesnewshape。Theblossomfadesasthefruitforms。Thepassionpassestogiveplacetopeace。Thetremblingloverhasbecomethehelper，thecomforter，thehusband。\"
\"Butthefailures，\"Robinapersisted；\"Idonotmeanthesillyorthewickedpeople；butthepeoplewhobeginbyreallylovingoneanother，onlytoendindisliking——almosthatingoneanother。HowdoTHEYgetthere？\"
\"Sitdown，\"Isaid，\"andIwilltellyouastory。
\"Onceuponatimetherewasagirl，andaboywholovedher。Shewasaclever，brilliantgirl，andshehadthefaceofanangel。Theylivedneartooneanother，seeingeachotheralmostdaily。Buttheboy，awedbythedifferenceoftheirsocialposition，kepthissecret，ashethought，tohimself；dreaming，asyouthwill，ofthedaywhenfameandwealthwouldbridgethegulfbetweenthem。Thekindlookinhereyes，theoccasionalseemingpressureofherhand，heallowedtofeedhishopes；andonthemorningofhisdepartureforLondonanincidentoccurredthatchangedhisvagueimaginingstosetresolve。Hehadsentonhisscantybaggagebythecarrier，intendingtowalkthethreemilestothestation。Itwasearlyinthemorning，andhehadnotexpectedtomeetasoul。Butamilefromthevillageheovertookher。Shewasreadingabook，butshemadenopretencethatthemeetingwasaccidental，leavinghimtoformwhatconclusionshewould。Shewalkedwithhimsomedistance，andhetoldherofhisplansandhopes；andsheansweredhimquitesimplythatsheshouldalwaysrememberhim，alwaysbemoregladthanshecouldtelltohearofhissuccess。Neartheendofthelanetheyparted，shewishinghiminthatlowsweetwoman’svoiceofhersallthingsgood。Heturned，alittlefartheron，andfoundthatshehadalsoturned。Shewavedherhandtohim，smiling。Andthroughthelongday’sjourneyandthroughmanydaystocomethereremainedwithhimthatpictureofher，bringingwithitthescentofthepine—woods：herwhitehandwavingtohim，hersweeteyessmilingwistfully。
\"Butfameandfortunearenotwonsoquicklyasboysdream，norislifeaseasytolivebravelyasitlooksinvisions。Itwasnearlytwentyyearsbeforetheymetagain。Neitherhadmarried。Herpeopleweredeadandshewaslivingalone；andtohimtheworldatlasthadopenedherdoors。Shewasstillbeautiful。Agracious，gentlelady，shehadgrown；clothedwiththatsoftsweetdignitythatTimebestowsuponrarewomen，renderingthemfairerwiththeyears。
\"Tothemanitseemedamiracle。Thedreamofthoseearlydayscamebacktohim。Surelytherewasnothingnowtoseparatethem。Nothinghadchangedbuttheyears，bringingtothembothwidersympathies，calmer，moreenduringemotions。Shewelcomedhimagainwiththeoldkindsmile，awarmerpressureofthehand；and，allowingalittletimetopassforcourtesy’ssake，hetoldherwhatwasthetruth：
thathehadneverceasedtoloveher，neverceasedtokeepthevisionofherfairpurefacebeforehim，hisidealofallthatmancouldfindofhelpinwomanhood。Andheranswer，untilyearslaterhereadtheexplanation，remainedamysterytohim。Shetoldhimthatshelovedhim，thatshehadneverlovedanyothermanandnevershould；
thathislove，forsolongashechosetogiveittoher，sheshouldalwaysprizeasthegreatestgiftofherlife。Butwiththatsheprayedhimtoremaincontent。
\"Hethoughtperhapsitwasatouchofwoman’spride，ofhurtdignitythathehadkeptsilentsolong，nottrustingher；thatperhapsastimewentbyshewouldchangehermind。Butsheneverdid；andafterawhile，findingthathispersistenceonlypainedher，heacceptedthesituation。Shewasnotthetypeofwomanaboutwhompeopletalkscandal，norwouldithavetroubledhermuchhadtheydoneso。Ablenowtoworkwherehewould，hetookahouseinaneighbouringvillage，whereforthebestpartoftheyearhelived，neartoher。
Andtotheendtheyremainedlovers。\"
\"IthinkIunderstand，\"saidRobina。\"IwilltellyouafterwardsifIamwrong。\"
\"Itoldthestorytoawomanmanyyearsago，\"Isaid，\"andshealsothoughtsheunderstood。Butshewasonlyhalfright。\"
\"Wewillsee，\"saidRobina。\"Goon。\"
\"Sheleftaletter，tobegiventohimafterherdeath，incasehesurvivedher；ifnot，tobeburnedunopened。Initshetoldhimherreason，orratherherreasons，forhavingrefusedhim。Itwasanoddletter。The’reasons’soundedsopitiablyinsufficient。Untilonetookthepainstoexaminetheminthecoldlightofexperience。Andthenherletterstruckone，notasfoolish，butasoneofthegrimmestcommentariesuponmarriagethatperhapshadeverbeenpenned。
\"Itwasbecauseshehadwishedalwaystoremainhisideal；tokeeptheirloveforoneanothertotheend，untarnished；tobehistruehelpmeetinallthings，thatshehadrefusedtomarryhim。
\"Hadhespokenthatmorningshehadwaitedforhiminthelane——shehadhalfhoped，halffearedit——shemighthavegivenherpromise：
’ForYouth，’soshewrote，’alwaysdreamsitcanfindanewway。’
ShethankedGodthathehadnot。
\"’Soonerorlater，’sorantheletter，’youwouldhavelearned，Dear，thatIwasneithersaintnorangel；butjustawoman——suchatiresome，inconsistentcreature；shewouldhaveexasperatedyou——fullofathousandfolliesandirritabilitiesthatwouldhavemarredforyouallthatwasgoodinher。Iwantedyoutohaveofmeonlywhatwasworthy，andthisseemedtheonlyway。Countingthehourstoyourcoming，hatingthepainofyourgoing，Icouldalwaysgivetoyoumybest。Theuglywords，thewhimsandfretsthatpoisonspeech——theycouldwait；itwasmylover’shour。
\"’Andyou，Dear，werealwayssotender，sogay。Youbroughtmejoywithbothyourhands。Wouldithavebeenthesame，hadyoubeenmyhusband？Howcouldit？Thereweretimes，evenasitwas，whenyouvexedme。Forgiveme，Dear，Imeanitwasmyfault——waysofthoughtandactionthatdidnotfitinwithmyways，thatIwasnotlarge—
mindedenoughtopassover。Asmylover，theywerebutasspotsuponthesun。Itwaseasytocontrolthemomentaryirritationthattheycausedme。Timewastoopreciousforevenamomentofestrangement。
Asmyhusband，thejarringnotewouldhavebeencontinuous，wouldhavewidenedintodiscord。Yousee，Dear，IwasnotgreatenoughtoloveALLofyou。Iremember，asachild，howindignantIalwaysfeltwithGodwhenmynursetoldmeHewouldnotlovemebecauseIwasnaughty，thatHeonlylovedgoodchildren。Itseemedsuchapoorsortoflove，that。Yetthatispreciselyhowwemenandwomendolove；takingonlywhatgivesuspleasure，repayingtherestwithanger。Therewouldhavearisentheunkindwordsthatcanneverberecalled；theuglysilences；thegradualwithdrawingfromoneanother。Idarednotfaceit。
\"’Itwasnotallselfishness。TruthfullyIcansayIthoughtmoreofyouthanofmyself。Iwantedtokeeptheshadowsoflifeawayfromyou。Wemenandwomenareliketheflowers。Itisinsunshinethatwecometoourbest。Youweremyhero。Iwantedyoutobegreat。I
wantedyoutobesurroundedbylovelydreams。Iwantedyourlovetobeathingholy，helpfultoyou。’
\"Itwasalongletter。Ihavegivenyouthegistofit。\"
Againtherewasasilencebetweenus。
\"Youthinkshedidright？\"askedRobina。
\"Icannotsay，\"Ianswered；\"therearenorulesforLife，onlyfortheindividual。\"
\"Ihavereaditsomewhere，\"saidRobina——\"wherewasit？——’Lovesuffersallthings，andrejoices。’\"
\"MaybeinoldThomasKempis。Iamnotsure，\"Isaid。
\"Itseemstome，\"saidRobina，\"thattheexplanationliesinthatonesentenceofhers：’IwasnotgreatenoughtoloveALLofyou。’\"
\"Itseemstome，\"Isaid，\"thatthewholeartofmarriageistheartofgettingonwiththeotherfellow。Itmeanspatience，self—
control，forbearance。Itmeansthelayingasideofourself—conceitandadmittingtoourselvesthat，judgedbyeyeslesspartialthanourown，theremaybemuchinusthatisobjectionable，thatcallsforalteration。Itmeanstolerationforviewsandopinionsdiametricallyopposedtoourmostcherishedconvictions。Itmeans，ofnecessity，theabandonmentofmanyhabitsandindulgencesthathowevertrivialhavegrowntobeimportanttous。Itmeanstheshapingofourowndesirestotheneedsofothers；theacceptanceoftenofsurroundingsandconditionspersonallydistastefultous。Itmeansaffectiondeepandstrongenoughtobearawaytheuglythingsoflife——itsquarrels，wrongs，misunderstandings——swiftlyandsilentlyintotheseaofforgetfulness。Itmeanscourage，goodhumour，commonsense。\"
\"ThatiswhatIamsaying，\"explainedRobina。\"Itmeanslovinghimevenwhenhe’snaughty。\"
Dickcameacrossthefields。Robinaroseandslippedintothehouse。
\"Youarelookingmightysolemn，Dad，\"saidDick。
\"ThinkingofLife，Dick，\"Iconfessed。\"Ofthemeaningandtheexplanationofit。\"
\"Yes，it’saproblem，Life，\"admittedDick。
\"Abitofateaser，\"Iagreed。
Wesmokedinsilenceforawhile。
\"Lovingagoodwomanmustbeatremendoushelptoaman，\"saidDick。
Helookedveryhandsome，verygallant，hisboyishfaceflashingchallengetotheFates。
\"Tremendous，Dick，\"Iagreed。
Robinacalledtohimthathissupperwasready。Heknockedtheashesfromhispipe，andfollowedherintothehouse。Theirlaughingvoicescametomebrokenthroughthehalf—closeddoors。Fromthenightaroundmeroseastrangelowmurmur。ItseemedtomeasthoughabovethesilenceIheardthefar—offmusicoftheMillsofGod。