第2章
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  Robinatalkedforabouttenminutes。BythetimeshehaddoneshehadpersuadedDickthatlifeinthebackwoodsofCanadahadbeenhisdreamfrominfancy。Sheisthatsortofgirl。

  Itriedtalkingreason,buttalkingtoRobinwhenshehasgotanotioninherheadisliketryingtofixahalteronatwo—year—oldcolt。Thistumble—down,six—roomedcottagewastobethesavingofthefamily。AnecstaticlooktransfiguredRobina’sfaceevenasshespokeofit。Youmighthavefancieditashrine。Robinawoulddothecooking。Robinawouldriseearlyandmilkthecow,andgatherthemorningegg。Wewouldleadthesimplelife,learntofendforourselves。ItwouldbesogoodforVeronica。Thehighereducationcouldwait;letthehigheridealshaveachance。Veronicawouldmakethebeds,dusttherooms。IntheeveningVeronica,herlittlebasketbyherside,wouldsitandsewwhileItalked,tellingthemthings,andRobinamovedsoftlytoandfroaboutherwork,thehouseholdfairy。TheLittleMother,wheneverstrongenough,wouldcometous。

  Wewouldhoverroundher,tendingherwithlovinghands。TheEnglishfarmermustknowsomething,inspiteofallthatissaid。Dickcouldarrangeforlessonsinpracticalfarming。Shedidnotsayitcrudely;buthintedthat,surroundedbyexample,evenImightcometotakeaninterestinhonestlabour,mightendbylearningtodosomethinguseful。

  Robinatalked,Ishouldsay,foraquarterofanhour。Bythetimeshehaddone,itappearedtomeratherabeautifulidea。Dick’svacationhadjustcommenced。Forthenextthreemonthstherewouldbenothingelseforhimtodobut——toemployhisownexpressivephrase——\"rotround。\"Inanyevent,itwouldbekeepinghimoutofmischief。Veronica’sgovernesswasleaving。Veronica’sgovernessgenerallydoesleaveattheendofaboutayear。Ithinksometimesofadvertisingforaladywithoutaconscience。Attheendofayear,theyexplaintomethattheirconsciencewillnotallowthemtoremainlonger;theydonotfeeltheyareearningtheirsalary。Itisnotthatthechildisnotadearchild,itisnotthatsheisstupid。

  Simplyitis——asaGermanladytowhomDickhadbeengivingwhathecalledfinishinglessonsinEnglish,onceputit——thatshedoesnotseemtobe\"takingany。\"Hermother’sideaisthatitis\"sinkingin。\"PerhapsifweallowedVeronicatoliefallowforawhile,somethingmightshowitself。Robina,speakingforherself,heldthataperiodofquietusefulness,awayfromthesocietyofothersillygirlsandsillierboys,wouldresultinherbecomingasensiblewoman。ItisnotoftenthatRobina’syearningstakethisdirection:

  tothwartthem,whentheydid,seemedwrong。

  WehadsomedifficultywiththeLittleMother。Thatthesethreebabiesofherswilleverbemenandwomencapableofrunningasix—

  roomedcottageappearstotheLittleMotherinthelightofafantasticdream。IexplainedtoherthatIshouldbethere,atalleventsfortwoorthreedaysineveryweek,togiveaneyetothings。

  Eventhatdidnotcontenther。ShegavewayeventuallyonRobina’ssolemnundertakingthatsheshouldbetelegraphedforthefirsttimeVeronicacoughed。

  OnMondaywepackedaone—horsevanwithwhatwedeemedessential。

  DickandRobinarodetheirbicycles。Veronica,supportedbyassortedbedding,madeherselfcomfortableuponthetailboard。IfolloweddownbytrainontheWednesdayafternoon。

  CHAPTERIII

  Itwasthecowthatwokemethefirstmorning。Ididnotknowitwasourcow——notatthetime。Ididn’tknowwehadacow。Ilookedatmywatch;itwashalf—pasttwo。Ithoughtmaybeshewouldgotosleepagain,butherideawasthatthedayhadbegun。Iwenttothewindow,themoonwasatthefull。Shewasstandingbythegate,herheadinsidethegarden;Itookitheranxietywaslestwemightmissanyofit。Herneckwasstretchedoutstraight,hereyestowardsthesky;whichgavetohertheappearanceofalong—earedalligator。I

  haveneverhadmuchtodowithcows。Idon’tknowhowyoutalktothem。Itoldherto\"bequiet,\"andto\"liedown\";andmadepretencetothrowabootather。Itseemedtocheerher,havinganaudience;

  sheaddedhalfadozenextranotes。Ineverknewbeforeacowhadsomuchinher。Thereisathingonesometimesmeetswithinthesuburbs——oroneusedto;Idonotknowwhetheritisstillextant,butwhenIwasaboyitwasquitecommon。Ithasahurdy—gurdyfixedtoitswaistandadrumstrappedonbehind,arowofpipeshangingfromitsface,andbellsandclappersfrommostofitsotherjoints。

  Itplaysthemallatonce,andsmiles。Thiscowremindedmeofit——

  withorganeffectsadded。Shedidn’tsmile;therewasthattobesaidinherfavour。

  IhopedthatifImadebelievetobeasleepshewouldgetdiscouraged。SoIclosedthewindowostentatiously,andwentbacktobed。Butitonlyhadtheeffectofputtingheronhermettle。\"Hedidnotcareforthatlast,\"Iimaginedhersayingtoherself,\"I

  wasn’tatmybest。Therewasn’tfeelingenoughinit。\"Shekeptitupforabouthalfanhour,andthenthegateagainstwhich,I

  suppose,shehadbeenleaning,gavewaywithacrash。Thatfrightenedher,andIheardhergallopoffacrossthefield。Iwasonthepointofdozingoffagainwhenapairofpigeonssettledonthewindow—sillandbegantocoo。Itisaprettysoundwhenyouareinthemoodforit。Iwroteapoemonce——asimplething,butinstinctwithlonging——whilesittingunderatreeandlisteningtothecooingofapigeon。Butthatwasintheafternoon。Myonlylongingnowwasforagun。ThreetimesIgotoutofbedand\"shoo’d\"

  themaway。ThethirdtimeIremainedbythewindowtillIhadgotitfirmlyintotheirheadsthatIreallydidnotwantthem。Mybehaviourontheformertwooccasionstheyhadevidentlyjudgedtobemereplayfulness。Ihadjustgotbacktobedagainwhenanowlbegantoscreech。ThatisanothersoundIusedtothinkattractive——soweird,somysterious。ItisSwinburne,Ithink,whosaysthatyounevergetthedesiredoneandthetimeandtheplaceallrighttogether。Ifthebelovedoneiswithyou,itisthewrongplaceoratthewrongtime;andifthetimeandtheplacehappentoberight,thenitisthepartythatiswrong。Theowlwasallright:Ilikeowls。Theplacewasallright。Hehadstruckthewrongtime,thatwasall。Eleveno’clockatnight,whenyoucan’tseehim,andnaturallyfeelthatyouwantto,isthepropertimeforanowl。

  Perchedontheroofofacow—shedintheearlydawnhelookssilly。

  Heclungthere,flappinghiswingsandscreechingatthetopofhisvoice。WhatitwashewantedIamsureIdon’tknow;andanyhowitdidn’tseemthewaytogetit。Hecametothisconclusionhimselfattheendoftwentyminutes,andshuthimselfupandwenthome。I

  thoughtIwasgoingtohaveatlastsomepeace,whenacorncrake——acreatureuponwhomNaturehasbestowedasongliketothetearingofcalico—sheetsmingledwiththesharpeningofsaws——settledsomewhereinthegardenandsettoworktopraiseitsMakeraccordingtoitslights。Ihaveafriend,apoet,wholivesjustofftheStrand,andspendshiseveningsattheGarrickClub。Hewritesoccasionalversefortheeveningpapers,andtalksaboutthe\"silentcountry,drowsywiththeweightoflanguors。\"OneofthesetimesI’lllurehimdownforaSaturdaytoMondayandlethimfindoutwhatthecountryreallyis——lethimhearit。Heisbecomingtoomuchofadreamer:itwilldohimgood,wakehimupabit。Thecorncrakeafterawhilestoppedquitesuddenlywithajerk,andforquitefiveminutestherewassilence。

  \"Ifthiscontinuesforanotherfive,\"Isaidtomyself,\"I’llbeasleep。\"Ifeltitcomingoverme。Ihadhardlymurmuredthewordswhenthecowturnedupagain。Ishouldsayshehadbeensomewhereandhadhadadrink。Shewasinbettervoicethanever。

  Itoccurredtomethatthiswouldbeanopportunitytomakeafewnotesonthesunrise。Theliterarymanislookedtoforoccasionaldescriptionofthesunrise。Theearnestreaderwhohasheardaboutthissunrisethirstsforfullparticulars。Myself,forpurposesofobservation,IhavegenerallychosenDecemberortheearlypartofJanuary。Butoneneverknows。MaybeoneofthesedaysI’llwantasummersunrise,withbirdsanddew—besprinkledflowers:itgoeswellwiththerusticheroine,themiller’sdaughter,orthegirlwhobringsupchickensandhasdreams。Imetabrotherauthoronceatseveno’clockinthemorninginKensingtonGardens。HelookedhalfasleepandsodisagreeablethatIhesitatedforawhiletospeaktohim:heisamanthatasarulebreakfastsateleven。ButI

  summonedmycourageandaccostedhim。

  \"Thisisearlyforyou,\"Isaid。

  \"It’searlyforanyonebutabornfool,\"heanswered。

  \"What’sthematter?\"Iasked。\"Can’tyousleep?\"

  \"Can’tIsleep?\"heretortedindignantly。\"Why,Idaren’tsitdownuponaseat,Idaren’tleanupagainstatree。IfIdidI’dbeasleepinhalfasecond。\"

  \"What’stheidea?\"Ipersisted。\"BeenreadingSmiles’s’SelfHelpandtheSecretofSuccess’?Don’tbeabsurd,\"Iadvisedhim。

  \"You’llbegoingtoSundayschoolnextandkeepingadiary。Youhaveleftittoolate:wedon’treformatforty。Gohomeandgotobed。\"

  Icouldseehewasdoinghimselfnogood。

  \"I’mgoingtobed,\"heanswered,\"I’mgoingtobedforamonthwhenI’vefinishedthisconfoundednovelthatI’mon。Takemyadvice,\"hesaid——helaidhishanduponmyshoulder——\"Neverchooseacolonialgirlforyourheroine。Atourageitissimplemadness。\"

  \"She’safinegirl,\"hecontinued,\"andgood。Hasaheartofgold。

  She’swearingmetoashadow。Iwantedsomethingfreshandunconventional。Ididn’tgraspwhatitwasgoingtodo。She’sthegirlthatgetsupearlyinthemorningandridesbare—back——thehorse,Imean,ofcourse;don’tbesosilly。OverinNewSouthWalesitdidn’tmatter。Ithrewintheusuallocalcolour——theeucalyptus—

  treeandthekangaroo——andletherride。ItisnowthatsheisoverhereinLondonthatIwishIhadneverthoughtofher。Shegetsupatfiveandwandersaboutthesilentcity。Thatmeans,ofcourse,thatIhavetogetupatfiveinordertorecordherimpressions。I

  havewalkedsixmilesthismorning。FirsttoSt。Paul’sCathedral;

  shelikesitwhenthere’snobodyabout。You’dthinkitwasn’tbigenoughforhertoseeifanybodyelsewasinthestreet。Shethinksofitasofamotherwatchingoverhersleepingchildren;she’sfullofallthatsortofthing。AndfromtheretoWestminsterBridge。

  ShesitsontheparapetandreadsWordsworth,tillthepolicemanturnsheroff。Thisisanotherofherfavouritespots。\"Heindicatedwithalookofconcentrateddisgusttheavenuewherewewerestanding。\"Thisiswhereshelikestofinishup。Shecomesheretolistentoablackbird。\"

  \"Well,youarethroughwithitnow,\"Isaidtoconsolehim。\"You’vedoneit;andit’sover。\"

  \"Throughwithit!\"helaughedbitterly。\"I’mjustbeginningit。

  There’stheentireEastEndtobedoneyet:she’sgottomeetafellowthereasbigacrankasherself。Andwalkingisn’ttheworst。

  She’sgoingtohaveahorse;youcanguesswhatthatmeans。——HydeParkwillbenogoodtoher。She’llfindoutRichmondandHamCommon。I’vegottodescribethesceneryandthemadjoyofthething。\"

  \"Can’tyouimagineit?\"Isuggested。

  \"I’mgoingtoimaginealltheenjoyablepartofit,\"heanswered。\"I

  musthaveagroundworktogoupon。She’sgottohavefeelingscometoheruponthishorse。Youcan’tenterintoarider’sfeelingswhenyou’vealmostforgottenwhichsideofthehorseyougetup。\"

  IwalkedwithhimtotheSerpentine。Ihadbeenwonderinghowitwashehadgrownstoutsosuddenly。Hehadabathtowelroundhimunderneathhiscoat。

  \"It’llgivememydeathofcold,Iknowitwill,\"hechatteredwhileunlacinghisboots。

  \"Can’tyouleaveittillthesummer—time,\"Isuggested,\"andtakehertoOstend?\"

  \"Itwouldn’tbeunconventional,\"hegrowled。\"Shewouldn’ttakeaninterestinit。\"

  \"ButdotheyallowladiestobatheintheSerpentine?\"Ipersisted。

  \"Itwon’tbetheSerpentine,\"heexplained。\"It’sgoingtobetheThamesatGreenwich。Butitmustbethesamesortoffeeling。She’sgottotellthemallaboutitduringalunchinQueen’sGate,andshockthemall。That’sallshedoesitfor,inmyopinion。\"

  Heemergedamottledblue。Ihelpedhimintohisclothes,andhewasfortunateenoughtofindanearlycab。ThebookappearedatChristmas。Thecriticsagreedthattheheroinewasadelightfulcreation。Someofthemsaidtheywouldliketohaveknownher。

  Rememberingmypoorfriend,itoccurredtomethatbygoingoutnowandmakingafewnotesaboutthemorning,Imightbesavingmyselftroublelateron。Islippedonafewthings——nothingelaborate——putanotebookinmypocket,openedthedoorandwentdown。

  Perhapsitwouldbemorecorrecttosay\"openedthedoorandwasdown。\"Itwasmyownfault,Iadmit。Wehadtalkedthisthingoverbeforegoingtobed,andImyselfhadimpresseduponVeronicatheneedforcaution。Thearchitectofthecountrycottagedoesnotwastespace。Hedispenseswithlandings;thebedroomdooropensontothetopstair。Itdoesnotdotowalkoutofyourbedroom,forthereasonthereisnothingoutsidetowalkon。IhadsaidtoVeronica,pointingoutthisfacttoher:

  \"Nowdon’t,inthemorning,comeburstingoutoftheroominyourusualvolcanicstyle,becauseifyoudotherewillbetrouble。Asyouperceive,thereisnolanding。Thestairscommenceatonce;theyaresteep,andtheyleaddowntoabrickfloor。Openthedoorquietly,lookwhereyouaregoing,andstepcarefully。\"

  Dickhadaddedhisadvicetomine。\"Ididthatmyselfthefirstmorning,\"Dickhadsaid。\"Isteppedstraightoutofthebedroomintothekitchen;andIcantellyou,ithurts。Youbecareful,young’un。Thiscottagedoesn’tlenditselftodash。\"

  Robinahadfallendownwithatrayinherhand。Shesaidthatnevershouldsheforgetthehorrorofthatmoment,when,sittingonthekitchenfloor,shehadcriedtoDick——herownvoicesoundingtoherasifitcamefromsomewherequitefaroff:\"Isitbroken?Tellmethetruth。Isitbrokenanywhere?\"andDickhadreplied:\"Broken!

  why,it’ssmashedtoatoms。Whatdidyouexpect?\"Robinahadaskedthequestionwithreferencetoherhead,whileDickhadthoughtshewasalludingtotheteapot。Inthatmoment,hadsaidRobina,herwholelifehadpassedbeforeher。SheletVeronicafeelthebump。

  Veronicawasdisappointedwiththebump,havingexpectedsomethingbigger,buthadpromisedtobecareful。Wehadallagreedthatifinspiteofourwarningssheforgot,andcameblunderingdowninthemorning,itwouldserveherright。Itwasthinkingofallthisthat,asIlayuponthefloor,mademefeelangrywitheverybody。Ihatepeoplewhocansleepthroughnoisesthatwakemeup。WhywasItheonlypersoninthehousetobedisturbed?Dick’sroomwasroundthecorner;therewassomeexcuseforhim。ButRobinaandVeronica’swindowlookedstraightdownuponthecow。IfRobinaandVeronicawerenotacoupleoflogs,thecowwouldhavearousedthem。Weshouldhavediscussedthematterwiththedoorajar。Robinawouldhavesaid,\"Whateveryoudo,becarefulofthestairs,Pa,\"andI

  shouldhaveremembered。Themodernchildappearstometohavenofeelingforitsparent。

  Ipickedmyselfupandstartedforthedoor。Thecowcontinuedbellowingsteadily。Mywholeanxietywastogettoherquicklyandtohither。ButthedoortookmorefindingthanIcouldhavebelievedpossible。Theshutterswereclosedandthewholeplacewasinpitchdarkness。Theideahadbeentofurnishthiscottageonlywiththingsthatwereabsolutelynecessary,buttheroomappearedtometobeovercrowded。Therewasamilking—stool,whichisathingmadepurposelyheavysothatitmaynotbeeasilyupset。IfI

  tumbledoveritonceItumbledoveritadozentimes。Igotholdofitatlastandcarrieditaboutwithme。IthoughtIwoulduseittohitthecow——thatis,whenIhadfoundthefront—door。Iknewitledoutoftheparlour,butcouldnotrecollectitsexactposition。I

  arguedthatifIkeptalongthewallIshouldbeboundtocometoit。

  Ifoundthewall,andsetofffullofhope。Isupposetheexplanationwasthat,withoutknowingit,Imusthavestartedwiththedoor,notthefront—door,theotherdoor,leadingintothekitchen。Icreptalong,carefullyfeelingmyway,andstruckquitenewthingsaltogether——thingsIhadnorecollectionofandthathitmeinfreshplaces。IclimbedoverwhatIpresumedtobeabeer—

  barrelandlandedamongbottles;thereweredozensupondozensofthem。TogetawayfromthesebottlesIhadtoleavethewall;butI

  founditagain,asIthought,andIfeltalongitforanotherhalfadozenyardsorsoandthencameagainuponbottles:theroomappearedtobepavedwithbottles。AlittlefartheronIrolledoveranotherbeer—barrel:asamatteroffactitwasthesamebeer—

  barrel,butIdidnotknowthis。AtthetimeitseemedtomethatRobinahadmadeuphermindtorunapublic—house。Ifoundthemilking—stoolagainandstartedafresh,andbeforeIhadgoneadozenstepswasinamongbottlesagain。Lateron,inthebroaddaylight,itwaseasyenoughtounderstandwhathadhappened。Ihadbeencarefullyfeelingmywayroundandroundascreen。Igotsosickofthesebottlesandsotiredofrollingovertheseeverlastingbeer—

  barrels,thatIabandonedthewallandplungedboldlyintospace。

  Ihadbarelystarted,when,lookingup,Isawtheskyaboveme:astarwastwinklingjustabovemyhead。HadIbeenwideawake,andhadthecowstoppedbellowingforjustoneminute,IshouldhaveguessedthatsomehoworanotherIhadgotintoachimney。Butasthingswere,thewonderandthemysteryofitallappalledme。

  \"Alice’sAdventuresinWonderland\"wouldhaveappearedtome,atthatmoment,inthenatureofaguidetotravellers。Hadarocking—horseoralobstersuddenlyappearedtomeIshouldhavesatandtalkedtoit;andifithadnotansweredmeIshouldhavethoughtitsulkyandbeenhurt。Itookastepforwardandthestardisappeared,justasifsomebodyhadblownitout。Iwasnotsurprisedintheleast。I

  wasexpectinganythingtohappen。

  Ifoundadooranditopenedquiteeasily。Awoodwasinfrontofme。Icouldn’tseeanycowanywhere,butIstillheardher。Itallseemedquitenatural。Iwouldwanderintothewood;mostlikelyI

  shouldmeetherthere,andshewouldbesmokingapipe。Inallprobabilityshewouldknowsomepoetry。

  Withthefreshairmysensesgraduallycamebacktome,andIbegantounderstandwhyitwasIcouldnotseethecow。Thereasonwasthatthehousewasbetweenus。BysomemysteriousprocessIhadbeendischargedintothebackgarden。Istillhadthemilking—stoolinmyhand,butthecownolongertroubledme。LetherseeifshecouldwakeVeronicabymerelybellowingoutsidethedoor;itwasmorethanIhadeverbeenabletodo。

  Isatdownonthestoolandopenedmynote—book。Iheadedthepage:

  \"SunriseinJuly:observationsandemotions,\"andIwrotedownatonce,lestIshouldforgetit,thattowardsthreeo’clockafaintlightisdiscernible,andaddedthatthislightgetsstrongerasthetimegoeson。

  Itsoundedfootlingeventomyself,butIhadbeenreadinganoveloftherealisticschoolthathadbeengreatlypraisedforitsactuality。

  Thereisademandinsomequartersforthisclassofobservation。I

  likewisemadeanotethatthepigeonandthecorncrakeappeartobeamongtheearliestofNature’schildrentowelcomethecomingday;

  andaddedthatthescreech—owlmaybeheard,perhapsatitsbest,byanyonecaringtoriseforthepurpose,somequarterofanhourbeforethedawn。ThatwasallIcouldthinkofjustthen。Asregardsemotions,Ididnotseemtohaveany。

  Ilitapipeandwaitedforthesun。Theskyinfrontofmewastingedwithafaintpink。Everymomentitflushedadeeperred。I

  maintainthatanyone,notanexpert,wouldhavesaidthatwastheportionofthehorizononwhichtokeepone’seye。Ikeptmyeyeuponit,butnosunappeared。Ilitanotherpipe。Theskyinfrontofmewasnowablazeofglory。Iscribbledafewlines,likeningthescatteredcloudstobridesblushingattheapproachofthebridegroom。Thatwouldhavebeenallrightiflaterontheyhadn’tbeguntoturngreen:itseemedthewrongcolourforabride。Lateronstilltheywentyellow,andthatspoiltthesimilepasthope。Onecannotwaxpoeticalaboutabridewhoattheapproachofthebridegroomturnsfirstgreenandthenyellow:youcanonlyfeelsorryforher。Iwaitedsomemore。Theskyinfrontofmegrewpalereverymoment。Ibegantofearthatsomethinghadhappenedtothatsun。IfIhadn’tknownsomuchastronomyIshouldhavesaidthathehadchangedhismindandhadgonebackagain。Irosewiththeideaofseeingintothings。Hehadbeenupapparentlyforhours:

  hehadgotupatthebackofme。Itseemedtobenobody’sfault。I

  putmypipeintomypocketandstrolledroundtothefront。Thecowwasstillthere;shewaspleasedtoseeme,andstartedbellowingagain。

  Iheardasoundofwhistling。Itproceededfromafarmer’sboy。I

  hailedhim,andheclimbedagateandcametomeacrossthefield。

  Hewasacheerfulyouth。Henoddedtothecowandhopedshehadhadagoodnight:hepronouncedit\"nihet。\"

  \"Youknowthecow?\"Isaid。

  \"Well,\"heexplained,\"wedon’tpreciselymoveinthesimeset。Sorto’businessrelytionshipmorelike——ifyouunderstandme?\"

  Somethingaboutthisboywasworryingme。Hedidnotseemlikearealfarmer’sboy。Butthennothingseemedquiterealthismorning。

  Myfeelingwastoletthingsgo。

  \"Whosecowisit?\"Iasked。

  Hestaredatme。

  \"Iwanttoknowtowhomitbelongs,\"Isaid。\"Iwanttorestoreittohim。\"

  \"Excuseme,\"saidtheboy,\"butwheredoyoulive?\"

  Hewasmakingmecross。\"WheredoIlive?\"Iretorted。\"Why,inthiscottage。Youdon’tthinkI’vegotupearlyandcomefromadistancetolistentothiscow?Don’ttalksomuch。Doyouknowwhosecowitis,ordon’tyou?\"

  \"It’syourcow,\"saidtheboy。

  Itwasmyturntostare。

  \"ButIhaven’tgotacow,\"Itoldhim。

  \"Yusyouhave,\"hepersisted;\"you’vegotthatcow。\"

  Shehadstoppedbellowingforamoment。ShewasnotthecowIfeltI

  couldevertakeapridein。Atsometimeoranother,quiterecently,shemusthavesatdowninsomemud。

  \"HowdidIgether?\"Idemanded。

  \"Theyounglydy,\"explainedtheboy,\"shecamerahndtoourpliceonTuesday——\"

  Ibegantoseelight。\"Anexcitableyounglady——talksveryfast——

  neverwaitsfortheanswer?\"

  \"Withjollyfineeyes,\"addedtheboyapprovingly。

  \"Andsheorderedacow?\"

  \"Didn’tseemto’avestrengthenoughtoliveanotherdywithahtit。\"

  \"Anystipulationmadeconcerningthepriceofthecow?\"

  \"Anywhat?\"

  \"Theyoungladywiththeeyes——didshethinktoaskthepriceofthecow?\"

  \"Nosordiddetailswasenteredinto,sofarasIcould’ear,\"repliedtheboy。

  Theywouldnothavebeen——byRobina。

  \"Anyhintletfallastowhatthecowwaswantedfor?\"

  \"Thelydygivesustounderstand,\"saidtheboy,\"thatfreshmilkwas’eridea。\"

  Thatsurprisedme:thatwasthoughtfulofRobina。\"Andthisisthecow?\"

  \"Itowedherrahndlastnight。Ididn’tknockatthedoorandtellyerabaht’er,cos,tobequitefrankwithyer,therewasn’tanybodyin。\"

  \"Whatisshebellowingfor?\"Iasked。

  \"Well,\"saidtheboy,\"it’sonlyatheory,o’course,butIshouldsy,fromthelookof’er,thatshewantedtobemilked。\"

  \"Butitstartedbellowingathalf—pasttwo,\"Iargued。\"Itdoesn’texpecttobemilkedathalf—pasttwo,doesit?\"

  \"Meself,\"saidtheboy,\"I’vegivenuplookingforsenseincows。\"

  Insomeunaccountablewaythisboywashypnotisingme。Everythinghadsuddenlybecomeoutofplace。

  Thecowhadsuddenlybecomeabsurd:sheoughttohavebeenamilk—

  can。Thewoodstruckmeasneglected:thereoughttohavebeennotice—boardsabout,\"KeepofftheGrass,\"\"SmokingStrictlyProhibited\":therewasn’taseattobeseen。Thecottagehadsurelygotitselftherebyaccident:wherewasthestreet?Thebirdswerealloutoftheircages;everythingwasupsidedown。

  \"Areyouarealfarmer’sboy?\"Iaskedhim。

  \"O’courseIam,\"heanswered。\"Whatdoyertikemefor——ahartistindisguise?\"

  Itcametome。\"Whatisyourname?\"

  \"’Enery——’Enery’Opkins。\"

  \"Wherewereyouborn?\"

  \"CamdenTahn。\"

  Herewasanicebeginningtoarurallife!WhatplacecouldbethecountrywhilethisboyHopkinswasabout?HewouldhavegiventotheGardenofEdentheatmosphereofanoutlyingsuburb。

  \"Doyouwanttoearnanoccasionalshilling?\"Iputittohim。

  \"I’dratheritcomereggler,\"saidHopkins。\"Betterformekerrickter。\"

  \"YoudropthatCockneyaccentandlearnBerkshire,andI’llgiveyouhalfasovereignwhenyoucantalkit,\"Ipromisedhim。\"Don’t,forinstance,say’ain’t,’\"Iexplainedtohim。\"Say’bain’t。’Don’tsay’Theyounglydy,shecamerahndtoourplice;’say’Themissy,’ercoomeddown;’ercoomed,and’ersestothemaister,’erses……’That’sthesortofthingIwanttosurroundmyselfwithhere。

  Whenyouinformedmethatthecowwasmine,youshouldhavesaid:

  ’Whoi,’erbeyourcow,surelie’erbe。’\"

  \"Sureit’sBerkshire?\"demandedHopkins。\"You’reconfidentaboutit?\"Thereisatypethatisbynaturesuspicious。

  \"ItmaynotbeBerkshirepureandundefiled,\"Iadmitted。\"Itiswhatinliteratureweterm’dialect。’Itdoesformostplacesoutsidethetwelve—mileradius。Theobjectistoconveyafeelingofrusticsimplicity。Anyhow,itisn’tCamdenTown。\"

  Istartedhimwithashillingthenandtheretoencouragehim。Hepromisedtocomeroundintheeveningforoneortwobooks,writtenbyfriendsofmine,thatIreckonedwouldbeofhelptohim;andI

  returnedtothecottageandsettoworktorouseRobina。Hertonewasapologetic。ShehadgotthenotionintoherheadthatIhadbeencallingherforquitealongtime。Iexplainedthatthiswasnotthecase。

  \"Howfunny!\"sheanswered。\"IsaidtoVeronicamorethananhourago:’I’msurethat’sPacallingus。’IsupposeImusthavebeendreaming。\"

  \"Well,don’tdreamanymore,\"Isuggested。\"Comedownandseetothisconfoundedcowofyours。\"

  \"Oh,\"saidVeronica,\"hasitcome?\"

  \"Ithascome,\"Itoldher。\"Asamatteroffact,ithasbeenheresometime。Itoughttohavebeenmilkedfourhoursago,accordingtoitsownidea。\"

  Robinasaidshewouldbedowninaminute。

  Shewasdownintwenty—five,whichwassoonerthanIhadexpected。

  ShebroughtVeronicawithher。ShesaidshewouldhavebeendownsoonerifshehadnotwaitedforVeronica。ItappearedthatthiswasjustpreciselywhatVeronicahadbeentellingher。Iwasfeelingirritable。Ihadbeenuphalfaday,andhadn’thadmybreakfast。

  \"Don’tstandtherearguing,\"Itoldthem。\"Forgoodness’sakelet’sgettoworkandmilkthiscow。Weshallhavethepoorcreaturedyingonourhandsifwe’renotcareful。\"

  Robinawaswanderingroundtheroom。

  \"Youhaven’tcomeacrossamilking—stoolanywhere,haveyou,Pa?\"

  askedRobina。

  \"Ihavecomeacrossyourmilking—stool,Iestimate,somethirteentimes,\"Itoldher。IfetcheditfromwhereIhadleftit,andgaveittoher;andwefiledoutinprocession;Veronicawithagalvanisedironbucketbringinguptherear。

  Theproblemthatwasforcingitselfuponmymindwas:didRobinaknowhowtomilkacow?Robina,Iargued,theideaonceinhermind,wouldimmediatelyhaveorderedacow,clamouringforit——asHopkinshadpicturesquelyexpressedit——asthoughshehadnotstrengthtoliveanotherdaywithoutacow。Hernextproceedingwouldhavebeentobuyamilking—stool。Itwasatastefulmilking—stool,thisoneshehadselected,ornamentedwiththeroughdrawingofacowinpokerwork:alittletoosolidformytaste,butonethatIshouldsaywouldwearwell。Thepailshehadnotasyethadtimetoseeabout。

  Thisgalvanisedbucketwewereusingwas,Itookit,atemporarymakeshift。WhenRobinahadleisureshewouldgointothetownandpurchasesomethingatanartstores。That,tocompletethescheme,shewouldhavedonewelltohavetakenafewpracticallessonsinmilkingwouldcometoher,asaninspiration,withthearrivalofthecow。InoticedthatRobina’sstepsasweapproachedthecowwerelesselastic。JustoutsidethecowRobinahalted。

  \"Isuppose,\"saidRobina,\"there’sonlyonewayofmilkingacow?\"

  \"Theremaybefancyways,\"Ianswered,\"necessarytoyouiflateronyouthinkofenteringacompetition。Thismorning,seeingwearelate,Ishouldn’tworrytoomuchaboutstyle。IfIwereyou,thismorningIshouldadopttheordinaryunimaginativemethod,andaimonlyatresults。\"

  Robinasatdownandplacedherbucketunderneaththecow。

  \"Isuppose,\"saidRobina,\"itdoesn’tmatterwhich——whichoneIbeginwith?\"

  Itwasperfectlyplainshehadn’ttheleastnotionhowtomilkacow。

  Itoldherso,addingcomments。Nowandthenalittlefatherlytalkdoesgood。AsaruleIhavetoworkmyselfupfortheseoccasions。

  ThismorningIwasfeelingfairlyfit:thingshadconspiredtothisend。IputbeforeRobinatheaimsandprivilegesofthehouseholdfairyastheyappeared,nottoher,buttome。IalsoconfidedtoVeronicatheresultofmanyweeks’reflectionsconcerningherandherbehaviour。IalsotoldthembothwhatIthoughtaboutDick。Idothissortofthingonceeverysixmonths:ithasanexcellenteffectforaboutthreedays。

  Robinawipedawayhertears,andseizedthefirstonethatcametoherhand。Thecow,withoutsayingaword,kickedovertheemptybucket,andwalkedaway,disgustexpressedineveryhairofherbody。

  Robina,cryingquietly,followedher。Bypattingheronherneck,andlettingherwipehernoseuponmycoat——whichseemedtocomforther——IpersuadedhertokeepstillwhileRobinaworkedfortenminutesathighpressure。Theresultwasaboutaglassfulandahalf,thecow’scapacity,toallappearance,beingbythistimesomefiveorsixgallons。

  Robinabrokedown,andacknowledgedshehadbeenawickedgirl。Ifthecowdied,soshesaid,sheshouldneverforgiveherself。

  Veronicaatthisburstintotearsalso;andthecow,whethermovedafreshbyherowntroublesorbytheirs,commencedagaintobellow。

  Iwasfortunatelyabletofindanelderlylabourersmokingapipeandeatingbaconunderneathatree;andwithhimIbargainedthatforashillingadayheshouldmilkthecowtillfurthernotice。

  Welefthimbusy,andreturnedtothecottage。Dickmetusatthedoorwithacheery\"Goodmorning。\"Hewantedtoknowifwehadheardthestorm。Healsowantedtoknowwhenbreakfastwouldbeready。

  Robinathoughtthathappyeventwouldbeshortlyafterhehadboiledthekettleandmadetheteaandfriedthebacon,whileVeronicawaslayingthetable。

  \"ButIthought——\"

  Robinasaidthatifhedaredtomentiontheword\"household—fairy\"

  shewouldboxhisears,andgostraightuptobed,andleaveeverybodytodoeverything。Shesaidshemeantit。

  Dickhasonevirtue:itisphilosophy。\"Comeon,young’un,\"saidDicktoVeronica。\"Troubleisgoodforusall。\"

  \"Someofus,\"saidVeronica,\"itmakesbitter。\"

  Wesatdowntobreakfastateight—thirty。

  CHAPTERIV

  OurarchitectarrivedonFridayafternoon,orrather,hisassistant。

  IfeltfromthefirstIwasgoingtolikehim。Heisshy,andthat,ofcourse,makeshimappearawkward。But,asIexplainedtoRobina,itistheshyyoungmenwho,generallyspeaking,turnoutbest:fewmencouldhavebeenmorepainfullyshyuptotwenty—fivethanmyself。

  Robinasaidthatwasdifferent:inthecaseofanauthoritdidnotmatter。Robina’sattitudetowardstheliteraryprofessionwouldnotannoymesomuchwereitnottypical。Tobealiterarymanis,inRobina’sopinion,tobealicensedidiot。ItwasonlyaweekortwoagothatIoverheardfrommystudywindowaconversationbetweenVeronicaandRobinauponthisverypoint。Veronica’seyehadcaughtsomethinglyingonthegrass。Icouldnotmyselfseewhatitwas,inconsequenceofaninterveninglaurelbush。Veronicastoopeddownandexamineditwithcare。Thenextinstant,utteringapiercingwhoop,sheleaptintotheair;then,clappingherhands,begantodance。

  Herfacewasradiantwithaholyjoy。Robina,passingnear,stoppedanddemandedexplanation。

  \"Pa’stennisracket!\"shoutedVeronica——Veronicaneverseestheuseoftalkinginanordinarytoneofvoicewhenshoutingwilldojustaswell。Shecontinuedclappingherhandsandtakinglittleboundsintotheair。

  \"Well,whatareyougoingonlikethatfor?\"askedRobina。\"Ithasn’tbityou,hasit?\"

  \"It’sbeenoutallnightinthewet,\"shoutedVeronica。\"Heforgottobringitin。\"

  \"Youwickedchild!\"saidRobinaseverely。\"It’snothingtobepleasedabout。\"

  \"Yes,itis,\"explainedVeronica。\"Ithoughtatfirstitwasmine。

  Oh,wouldn’ttherehavebeenatalkaboutit,ifithadbeen!Ohmy!

  wouldn’ttherehavebeenarow!\"Shesettleddowntoasteadyrhythmicdance,suggestiveofaGreekchorusexpressingsatisfactionwiththegods。

  Robinaseizedherbytheshouldersandshookherbackintoherself。

  \"Ifithadbeenyours,\"saidRobina,\"youwoulddeservetohavebeensenttobed。\"

  \"Well,then,whydon’thegotobed?\"arguedVeronica。

  Robinatookherbythearmandwalkedherupanddownjustunderneathmywindow。Ilistened,becausetheconversationinterestedme。

  \"Pa,asIamalwaysexplainingtoyou,\"saidRobina,\"isaliteraryman。Hecannothelpforgettingthings。\"

  \"Well,Ican’thelpforgettingthings,\"insistedVeronica。

  \"Youfindithard,\"explainedRobinakindly;\"butifyoukeepontryingyouwillsucceed。Youwillgetmorethoughtful。Iusedtobeforgetfulanddofoolishthingsonce,whenIwasalittlegirl。\"

  \"Goodthingforusifwewasallliterary,\"suggestedVeronica。

  \"Ifwe’were’allliterary,\"Robinacorrectedher。\"Butyouseewearenot。YouandIandDick,wearejustordinarymortals。Wemusttryandthink,andbesensible。Inthesameway,whenPagetsexcitedandraves——Imean,seemstorave——it’stheliterarytemperament。Hecan’thelpit。\"

  \"Can’tyouhelpdoinganythingwhenyouareliterary?\"askedVeronica。

  \"There’sagooddealyoucan’thelp,\"answeredRobina。\"Itisn’tfairtojudgethembytheordinarystandard。\"

  Theydriftedtowardsthekitchengarden——itwasthetimeofstrawberries——andtheremainderofthetalkIlost。InoticedthatforsomedaysafterwardsVeronicadisplayedatendencytoshuttingherselfupintheschoolroomwithacopybook,andthatleadpencilshadawayofdisappearingfrommydesk。OneinparticularthathadsuitedmeIdeterminedifpossibletorecover。AsubtleinstinctguidedmetoVeronica’ssanctum。Ifoundherthoughtfullysuckingit。Sheexplainedtomethatshewaswritingalittleplay。

  \"Yougetthingsfromyourfather,don’tyou?\"sheenquiredofme。

  \"Youdo,\"Iadmitted;\"butyououghtnottotakethemwithoutasking。

  Iamalwaystellingyouofit。ThatpencilistheonlyoneIcanwritewith。\"

  \"Ididn’tmeanthepencil,\"explainedVeronica。\"IwaswonderingifIhadgotyourliterarytemper。\"

  Itispuzzling,whenyoucometothinkofit,thisestimateaccordedbythegeneralpublictothelitterateur。Itstandstoreasonthatthemanwhowritesbooks,explainingeverythingandputtingeverybodyright,mustbehimselfanexceptionallycleverman;elsehowcouldhedoit!Thethingispurelogic。YettolistentoRobinaandherlikeyoumightthinkwehadnotsenseenoughtorunourselves,asthesayingis——letalonerunningtheuniverse。IfIwouldlether,Robinawouldsitandgivemeinformationbythehour。

  \"Theordinarygirl……\"Robinawillbegin,withtheairofaUniversityExtensionLecturer。

  Itissoexasperating。AsifIdidnotknowallthereistobeknownaboutgirls!Why,itismybusiness。IpointthisouttoRobina。

  \"Yes,Iknow,\"Robinawillanswersweetly。\"ButIwasmeaningtherealgirl。\"

  ItwouldmakenottheslightestdifferencewereIevenquiteahigh—

  classliteraryman——RobinathinksIam:sheisadearchild。WereI

  Shakespearehimself,andcouldIinconsequencesaytoher:

  \"Methinks,child,thecreatorofOpheliaandJuliet,andRosamundandBeatrice,mustsurelyknowsomethingaboutgirls,\"Robinawouldstillmakeanswer:

  \"Ofcourse,Padear。Everybodyknowshowcleveryouare。ButIwasthinkingforthemomentofrealgirls。\"

  Iwondertomyselfsometimes,Isliteraturetothegeneralreadereveranythingmorethanafairy—tale?Wewritewithourheart’sblood,asweputit。Weaskourconscience,Isitrightthustolaybarethesecretsofoursouls?Thegeneralreaderdoesnotgraspthatwearewritingwithourheart’sblood:tohimitisjustink。

  Hedoesnotbelievewearelayingbarethesecretsofoursouls:hetakesitwearejustpretending。\"OnceuponatimetherelivedagirlnamedAngelinawholovedapartybythenameofEdwin。\"Heimagines——he,thegeneralreader——whenwetellhimallthewonderfulthoughtsthatwereinsideAngelina,thatitwaswewhoputthemthere。Hedoesnotknow,hewillnottrytounderstand,thatAngelinaisinrealitymorerealthanisMissJones,whoridesupeverymorninginthe’buswithhim,andhasaprettyknackofrenderingconversationabouttheweathernovelandsuggestive。AsaboyIwonsomepopularityamongmyschoolmatesasatellerofstories。Oneafternoon,toasmallcollectionwithwhomIwashomingacrossRegent’sPark,ItoldthestoryofabeautifulPrincess。ButshewasnottheordinaryPrincess。ShewouldnotbehaveasaPrincessshould。Icouldnothelpit。Theothersheardonlymyvoice,butIwaslisteningtothewind。ShethoughtshelovedthePrince——untilhehadwoundedtheDragonuntodeathandhadcarriedherawayintothewood。Then,whilethePrincelaysleeping,sheheardtheDragoncallingtoherinitspain,andcreptbacktowhereitlaybleeding,andputherarmsaboutitsscalyneckandkissedit;

  andthathealedit。Iwashopingmyselfthatatthispointitwouldturnintoaprinceitself,butitdidn’t;itjustremainedadragon——

  sothewindsaid。YetthePrincesslovedit:itwasn’thalfabaddragon,whenyouknewit。IcouldnottellthemwhatbecameofthePrince:thewinddidn’tseemtocareahangaboutthePrince。

  Myself,Ilikedthestory,butHocker,whowasaFifthFormboy,voicingourlittlepublic,saiditwasrot,sofar,andthatIhadgottohurryupandfinishthingsrightly。

  \"Butthatisall,\"Itoldthem。

  \"No,itisn’t,\"saidHocker。\"She’sgottomarrythePrinceintheend。He’llhavetokilltheDragonagain;andmindhedoesitproperlythistime。WhoeverheardofaPrincessleavingaPrinceforaDragon!\"

  \"Butshewasn’ttheordinarysortofPrincess,\"Iargued。

  \"Thenshe’sgottobe,\"criticisedHocker。\"Don’tyougiveyourselfsomanyairs。YoumakehermarrythePrince,andbeslippyaboutit。

  I’vegottocatchthefour—fifteenfromChalkFarmstation。\"

  \"Butshedidn’t,\"Ipersistedobstinately。\"ShemarriedtheDragonandlivedhappyeverafterwards。\"

  Hockeradoptedsternermeasures。Heseizedmyarmandtwisteditbehindme。

  \"Shemarriedwho?\"demandedHocker:grammarwasnotHocker’sstrongpoint。

  \"TheDragon,\"Igrowled。

  \"Shemarriedwho?\"repeatedHocker。

  \"TheDragon,\"Iwhined。

  \"Shemarriedwho?\"forthethirdtimeurgedHocker。

  Hockerwasstrong,andthetearswereforcingthemselvesintomyeyesinspiteofme。SothePrincessinreturnforhealingtheDragonmadeitpromisetoreform。ItwentbackwithhertothePrince,andmadeitselfgenerallyusefultobothofthemfortherestofthetour。AndthePrincetookthePrincesshomewithhimandmarriedher;andtheDragondiedandwasburied。Theotherslikedthestorybetter,butIhatedit;andthewindsighedanddiedaway。

  Thelittlecrowdbecomesthereadingpublic,andHockergrowsintoaneditor;hetwistsmyarminotherways。Somearebrave,sothecrowdkicksthemandscurriesofftocatchthefour—fifteen。Butmostofus,Ifear,areslavestoHocker。Then,afterawhile,thewindgrowssulkyandwillnottellusstoriesanymore,andwehavetomakethemupoutofourownheads。Perhapsitisjustaswell。Whatweredoorsandwindowsmadeforbuttokeepoutthewind。

  Heisadangerousfellow,thiswanderingWind;heleadsmeastray。I

  wastalkingaboutourarchitect。

  Hemadeabadstart,sofarasRobinawasconcerned,bycominginattheback—door。Robina,inabigapron,waswashingup。Heapologisedforhavingblunderedintothekitchen,andofferedtogooutagainandworkroundtothefront。Robinareplied,withunnecessaryseverityasIthought,thatanarchitect,ifanyone,mighthaveknownthedifferencebetweentherightsideofahouseandthewrong;butpresumedthatyouthandinexperiencecouldalwaysbepleadedasexcuseforstupidity。IcannotmyselfseewhyRobinashouldhavebeensomuchannoyed。Labour,asRobinahadbeenexplainingtoVeronicaonlyafewhoursbefore,exaltsawoman。Inoldendays,ladies——thehighestintheland——wereproud,notashamed,oftheirabilitytoperformdomesticduties。This,lateron,I

  pointedouttoRobina。Heranswerwasthatinoldendaysyoudidn’thavechitsofboysgoingabout,callingthemselvesarchitects,andopeningback—doorswithoutknocking;oriftheydidknock,knockingsothatnobodyonearthcouldhearthem。

  Robinawipedherhandsonthetowelbehindthedoor,andbroughthimintothefront—room,wheresheannouncedhim,coldly,as\"Theyoungmanfromthearchitect’soffice。\"Heexplained——butquitemodestly——

  thathewasnotexactlyMessrs。Spreight’syoungman,butanarchitecthimself,ajuniormemberofthefirm。Tomakeitclearheproducedhiscard,whichwasthatofMr。ArchibaldT。Bute,F。R。I。B。A。Practicallyspeaking,allthiswasunnecessary。ThroughtheopendoorIhad,ofcourse,heardeveryword;andoldSpreighthadtoldmeofhisintentiontosendmeoneofhismostpromisingassistants,whowouldbeabletodevotehimselfentirelytomywork。

  IputmattersrightbyintroducinghimformallytoRobina。Theybowedtooneanotherratherstiffly。Robinasaidthatifhewouldexcusehershewouldreturntoherwork;andheanswered\"Charmed,\"

  andalsothathedidn’tmeanit。AsIhavetriedtogetitintoRobina’shead,theyoungfellowwasconfused。Hehadmeant——itwasself—evident——thathewascharmedatbeingintroducedtoher,notatherdesiretoreturntothekitchen。ButRobinaappearstohavetakenadisliketohim。

  Igavehimacigar,andwestartedforthehouse。Itliesjustamilefromthiscottage,theothersideofthewood。OneexcellenttraitinhimIsoondiscovered——heisintelligentwithoutknowingeverything。

  Iconfessittomyshame,buttheyoungmanwhoknowseverythinghascometopalluponme。AccordingtoEmerson,thisisaproofofmyownintellectualfeebleness。Thestrongman,intellectually,cultivatesthesocietyofhissuperiors。Hewantstogeton,hewantstolearnthings。IfIlovedknowledgeasoneshould,Iwouldhavenoonebutyoungmenaboutme。TherewasafriendofDick’s,agentlemanfromRugby。Atonetimehehadhopesofme;Ifelthehad。

  Buthewastooimpatient。Hetriedtobringmeontooquickly。Youmusttakeintoconsiderationnaturalcapacity。Afterlisteningtohimforanhourortwomymindwouldwander。Icouldnothelpit。

  Thecarelesslaughterofuninformedmiddle—agedgentlemenandladieswouldcreeptomefromthecroquetlawnorfromthebilliard—room。I

  longedtobeamongthem。SometimesIwouldbattlewithmylowernature。Whatdidtheyknow?Whatcouldtheytellme?MoreoftenI

  wouldsuccumb。TherewereoccasionswhenIusedtogetupandgoawayfromhim,quitesuddenly。

  ItalkedwithyoungButeduringourwalkaboutdomesticarchitectureingeneral。Hesaidheshoulddescribethepresenttendencyindomesticarchitectureastowardscorners。ThedesireoftheBritishpublicwastogointoacornerandlive。AladyforwhosehusbandhisfirmhadlatelybuiltahouseinSurreyhadpropoundedtohimaprobleminconnectionwiththispoint。Sheagreeditwasacharminghouse;nohouseinSurreyhadmorecorners,andthatwassayingmuch。

  Butshecouldnotseehowforthefutureshewasgoingtobringupherchildren。Shewasahumanelymindedlady。Hithertoshehadpunishedthem,whenneedful,byputtingtheminthecorner;theshameofithadalwaysexerciseduponthemasalutaryeffect。Butinthenewhousecornersarereckonedtheprimepartsofeveryroom。Itisthehonouredguestwhoissentintothecorner。Thefatherhasacornersacredtohimself,withhighupabovehisheadacomplicatedcupboard,whereinwiththehelpofastep—ladder,hemaykeephispipesandhistobacco,andthusbyslowdegreescurehimselfofthehabitofsmoking。Themotherlikewisehashercorner,wherestandsherspinning—wheel,incasetheideacomestohertoweavesheetsandunderclothing。Italsohasabook—shelfsupportingthirteenvolumes,arrangedinaslopingpositiontolooknatural;thelastonemaintainedatitsangleofforty—fivedegreesbyaginger—jarinoldblueNankin。Youarenotsupposedtotouchthem,becausethatwoulddisarrangethem。Besideswhich,foolingabout,youmightupsettheginger—jar。Theconsequenceofallthisisthecornerisnolongerdisgraceful。Theparentcannomoresaytotheerringchild:

  \"Youwickedboy!Gointothecosycornerthisveryminute!\"

  Inthehouseofthefuturetheplaceofpunishmentwillhavetobethemiddleoftheroom。Theangrymotherwillexclaim:

  \"Don’tyouanswerme,yousaucyminx!Yougostraightintothemiddleoftheroom,anddon’tyoudaretocomeoutofittillItellyou!\"

  Thedifficultywiththeartistichouseisfindingtherightpeopletoputintoit。Inthepicturetheartisticroomneverhasanybodyinit。Thereisastripofartembroideryuponthetable,togetherwithabowlofroses。Upontheancienthigh—backedsetteeliesanitemoffancywork,unfinished——justassheleftit。Inthe\"study\"anopenbook,facedownwards,hasbeenleftonachair。Itisthelastbookhewasreading——ithasneverbeendisturbed。Apipeofquaintdesigniscolduponthelintelofthelatticewindow。Noonewilleversmokethatpipeagain:itmusthavebeendifficulttosmokeatanytime。Thesightoftheartisticroom,asdepictedinthefurniturecatalogue,alwaysbringstearstomyeyes。Peopleonceinhabitedtheserooms,readtherethoseoldvolumesboundinvellum,smoked——ortriedtosmoke——theseimpracticablepipes;whitehands,thatsomeonemaybehadlovedtokiss,onceflutteredamongthefoldsoftheseunfinishedantimacassars,orBerlinwool—workslippers,andwentaway,leavingthethingsabout。

  Onetakesitthatthepeoplewhoonceoccupiedtheseartisticroomsarenowalldead。Thiswastheir\"Dining—Room。\"Theysatonthoseartisticchairs。TheycouldhardlyhaveusedthedinnerservicesetoutupontheElizabethandresser,becausethatwouldhaveleftthedresserbare:oneassumestheyhadanextraserviceforuse,orelsethattheytooktheirmealsinthekitchen。The\"EntranceHall\"isasingularlychasteapartment。Thereisnonecessityforadoor—mat:

  peoplewithmuddyboots,itistobepresumed,weresentroundtotheback。Ariding—cloak,therelicapparentlyofahighwayman,hangsbehindthedoor。Itisthesortofcloakyouwouldexpecttofindthere——adecorativecloak。Anumbrellaorawaterproofcapewouldbefataltothewholeeffect。

  Nowandagaintheillustratoroftheartisticroomwillpermitayounggirltocomeandsitthere。Butshehastobeaverycarefullyselectedgirl。Tobeginwith,shehasgottolookanddressasthoughshehadbeenbornatleastthreehundredyearsago。Shehasgottohavethatsortofclothes,andshehasgottohaveherhairdonejustthatway。

  Shehasgottolooksad;acheerfulgirlintheartisticroomwouldjarone’sartisticsense。Oneimaginestheartistconsultingwiththeproudpossessorofthehouse。

  \"Youhaven’tgotsuchathingasamiserabledaughter,haveyou?

  Somefairlygood—lookinggirlwhohasbeencrossedinlove,orismisunderstood。Becauseifso,youmightdressherupinsomethingoutofthelocalmuseumandsendheralong。Alittlethinglikethatgivesverisimilitudetoadesign。\"

  Shemustnottouchanything。Allshemaydoistoreadabook——notreallyreadit,thatwouldsuggesttoomuchlifeandmovement:shesitswiththebookinherlapandgazesintothefire,ifithappenstobethedining—room:oroutofthewindowifithappenstobeamorning—room,andthearchitectwishestocallattentiontothewindow—seat。Nothingofthemalespecies,asfarasIhavebeenabletoascertain,haseverenteredtheserooms。IoncethoughtIhadfoundamanwhohadbeenallowedintohisown\"Smoking—Den,\"butoncloserexaminationitturnedouthewasonlyaportrait。

  Sometimesoneisgiven\"Vistas。\"Doorsstandopen,andyoucanseerightawaythrough\"TheNook\"intothegarden。Thereisneveralivingsoulabouttheplace。Thewholefamilyhasbeensentoutforawalkorlockedupinthecellars。Thisstrikesyouasodduntilyoucometothinkthematterout。Themodernmanandwomanisnotartistic。Iamnotartistic——notwhatIcallreallyartistic。I

  don’tgowellwithGobelintapestryandwarming—pans。IfeelI

  don’t。Robinaisnotartistic,notinthatsense。ItriedheroncewithaharpsichordIpickedupcheapinWardourStreet,andareproductionofaRomanstool。Thethingwasanutterfailure。A

  cottagepiano,withaphoto—frameandafernupon,itiswhatthesoulcriesoutforinconnectionwithRobina。Dickisnotartistic。

  Dickdoesnotgowithpeacocks’feathersandguitars。IcanseeDickwithasinglepeacock’sfeatheratSt。Giles’sFair,whenthebulldogsarenotlooking;butthedecorativepanelofpeacock’sfeathersistoomuchforhim。Icanimaginehimwithabanjo——butaguitardecoratedwithpinkribbons!Tobeginwithheisnotdressedforit。Unlessafamilybepreparedtomakethemselvesupastroubadoursorcavaliersandtotalkblankverse,Idon’tseehowtheycanexpecttobehappylivinginthesefifteenth—centuryhouses。

  Themodernfamily——theoldmaninbaggytrousersandafrock—coathecouldnotbuttonifhetriedto;themotheroffiguredistinctlyVictorian;theboysinflannelsuitsandcollarsuptotheirears;

  thegirlsinmotorcaps——areasincongruousinthesemediaevaldwellingsasapartyofCook’stouristsdrinkingbottledbeerinthestreetsofPompeii。

  Thedesignerof\"TheArtisticHome\"isrightinkeepingtostilllife。Intheartistichome——toparaphraseDr。Watts——everyprospectpleasesandonlymanisinartistic。Inthepicture,theartisticbedroom,\"inapplegreen,thebedsteadofcherry—wood,withatouchofturkey—redthroughoutthedraperies,\"ischarming。Itneedhardlybesaidthebedisempty。Putamanorwomaninthatcherry—woodbed——Idon’tcarehowartistictheymaythinkthemselves——thecharmwouldbegone。Thereallyartisticparty,onesupposes,hasalittleroombehind,wherehesleepsanddresseshimself。Hepeepsinatthedoorofthisartisticbedroom,maybeoccasionallyenterstochangetheroses。

  Imaginetheartisticnurseryfiveminutesaftertherealchildhadbeenletlooseinit。Iknowaladywhooncespenthundredsofpoundsonanartisticnursery。Sheshowedittoherfriendswithpride。ThechildrenwereallowedinthereonSundayafternoons。I

  didanequallysillythingmyselfnotlongago。Luredbyafurniturecatalogue,IstartedRobinainaboudoir。Igaveittoherasabirthday—present。Wehavebothregrettediteversince。Robinareckonsshecouldhavehadabicycle,adiamondbracelet,andamandoline,andIshouldhavesavedmoney。Ididthethingwell。I

  toldthefurniturepeopleIwanteditjustasitstoodinthepicture:\"Designforbedroomandboudoircombined,suitableforyounggirl,inteak,withsparrowbluehangings。\"Wehadeverything:

  theantiquefirearrangementsthatavestalvirginmightpossiblyhaveunderstood;thecandlesticks,thatwerepicturesinthemselves,untilwetriedtoputcandlesinthem;thebook—caseandwriting—deskcombined,thatwasn’tbigenoughtowriteon,andoutofwhichitwasimpossibletogetabookuntilyouhadabandonedtheideaofwritingandhadclosedthecover;theenclosedwashstand,thatshutdownandlookedlikeanoldbureau,withtheinevitablebowlofflowersuponitthathadtobetakenoffandputonthefloorwheneveryouwantedtousethethingasawashstand;thetoilet—table,withitscunninglittleglass,justbigenoughtoseeyournosein;thebedstead,hiddenawaybehindthe\"thinkingcorner,\"wherethegirlcouldn’tgetatittomakeit。Aprettierroomyoucouldnothaveimagined,tillRobinastartedsleepinginit。Ithinkshetried。Girlfriendsofhers,towhomshehadbraggedaboutit,woulddropinandasktobeallowedtoseeit。Robinawouldsay,\"Waitaminute,\"andwouldrunupandslamthedoor;andwewouldhearherforthenexthalf—hourorsorushingroundopeningandshuttingdrawersanddraggingthingsabout。Bythetimeitwasaboudoiragainshewasexhaustedandirritable。ShewantsnowtogiveituptoVeronica,butVeronicaobjectstotheposition,whichisbetweenthebathroomandmystudy。

  Herideaisaroommoreremoved,whereshewouldbeabletoshutherselfinanddoherwork,assheexplains,withoutfearofinterruption。

  YoungButetoldmethatafriendofhis,awell—to—doyoungfellow,wholivedinPiccadilly,hadhadthewhimtomakehisflatthereproductionofaRomanvilla。Therewereofcoursenofires,theroomswerewarmedbyhotairfromthekitchen。TheyhadacheerlessaspectonaNovemberafternoon,andnobodyknewexactlywheretosit。

  LightwasobtainedintheeveningfromGrecianlamps,whichmadeiteasytounderstandwhytheancientAthenians,asarule,wenttobedearly。Youdinedsprawlingonacouch。Thiswasnodoubtpracticablewhenyoutookyourplateintoyourhandandfedyourselfwithyourfingers;butwithaknifeandforkthemealhadalltheadvantagesofahotpicnic。Youdidnotfeelluxuriousorevenwicked:youonlyfeltnervousaboutyourclothes。Thethinglackedcompleteness。HecouldnotexpecthisfriendstocometohiminRomantogas,andevenhisownmandeclinedfirmlytowearthecostumeofaRomanslave。Thecompromisewasunsatisfactory,evenfromthepurelypictorialpointofview。YoucannotbeaRomanpatricianofthetimeofAntoninuswhenyouhappentoliveinPiccadillyattheopeningofthetwentiethcentury。Allyoucandoistomakeyourfriendsuncomfortableandspoiltheirdinnerforthem。YoungButesaidthat,sofarashewasconcerned,hewouldalwaysratherhavespenttheeveningwithhislittlenephewsandnieces,playingathorses;itseemedtohimamoresensiblegame。

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