\"Heisamasterofhumorrecitations，\"hismothernowsaidtome。
\"Perhapsyouknow，orperhapsyoudonotknow，howhighupthatisreckoned。\"
\"Why，mother，Leolacanspeakallaroundme。Shecan，\"Guyaddedtome，noddinghisheadconfidentially。
Ididnotbelievehim，IthinkbecauseIpreferredhisnametothatofLeola。
\"LeolawillstudyinParis，France，\"announcedMrs。Mattern，arrivingwithherchild。\"Shehasnoadvantageshere。Thisisthegentleman，Leola。\"
ButbeforeIhadmorethannotedadark—eyedmaidenwhowouldnotlookatme，butstoodinskirtstooyoungforherfigure，blackstockings，andadangleofhairthatshouldhavebeenup，herlargeparenthadthrustintomyhandascrap—book。
\"HereiswhattheSantaFeObserversays\"；andwhenIwouldhaveread，shereadaloudforme。’ThenextistheLosAngelesChristianHome。Andhere’swhattheywroteaboutherinElPaso：’Herhistrionicgeniusforonesoyoung’——itcommencesbelowthatpicture。That’sLeola。\"Inowrecognizedtheblackstockingsandthehair。\"Here’swhataliteraryladyinLordsburgthinks，\"pursuedMrs。Mattern。
\"Nevermindthat，\"murmuredLeola。
\"Ishall。\"Andthemotherreadthelettertome。\"Leolahasspokeinfiveculturedcities，\"shewenton。\"ArvasitacandepicthowshewasencoredatAlbuquerquelastEaster—Monday。\"
\"Yes，sir，threerecalls，\"saidArvasita，arrivingatourgroupbythefence。Aneldersister，shewas，evidently。\"Areyouacquaintedwith’Camill’？\"sheaskedme，withatrifleofsternness；anduponmyhesitating，\"thecelebratedFrenchdraymaof’Camill’，\"sherepeated，withatriflemoreofsternness。\"Camillistheladyinitwhodiesofconsumption。Leolarecitestheletter—and—coughingscene，ActThird。Mr。
PattersonofColoraydoSpringspronouncesitsuperiortoModjeska。\"
\"ThatisLeolaagain，\"saidMrs。Mattern，showingmeanothernewspapercut——hair，stockings，andacandlethistime。
\"Sleep—walkingscene，’Macbeth，’\"saidArvasita。\"Leola’sgreatnightatthechurchfairandbazar，ElPaso，inShakespeare’sacknowledgedmasterpiece。Leola’srepetwarlikewiseincludes’CatherinetheQueenbeforeherJudges，’’QualityofMercyisnotStrained，’’DeathofLittleNell，’’DeathofPaulDombey，’’DeathoftheOldYear，’’BurialofSirJohnMoore，’andotherstandardgemssuitableforladies。\"
\"Leola，\"saidhermother，\"recite’WhentheBritishWarriorQueen’tothegentleman。\"
\"No，momma，pleasenot，\"saidLeola，andhervoicemademelookather；
somethingofappealsoundedinit。
\"Leolaisthatyoungyoumustexcuseher，\"saidhermother——andIthoughtthegirlwinced。
\"Comeaway，Guy，\"suddenlysnappedlittleMrs。Jeffries。\"Wearewastingthegentleman’stime。Youarenoinfantprodigy，andwehavenopicturesofyourcalvestoshowhiminthepapers。\"
\"Why，mother！\"criedtheboy，andhegaveabrotherlylooktoLeola。
Butthegirl，scarletandupset，nowraninsidethehouse。
\"Asforwastingtime，madam，\"saidI，withindignation，\"youarewastingyoursinattemptingtoprejudicethejudges。\"
\"There！\"saidGuy。
\"And，Mrs。Mattern，\"continued，\"ifImaysaysowithoutoffense，theage（realorimaginary）ofthespeakersmaymakeadifferenceinAlbuquerque，butwithourcommitteenottheslightest。\"
\"Thankyou，I’msure，\"saidMrs。Mattern，bridling。
\"EasternideasareeverwelcomeinSharon，\"saidMrs。Jeffries。
\"Good—morning。\"AndsheremovedGuyandherselfintoherhouse，whileMrs。
MatternandArvasita，stifflyignoringme，passedintotheirowndoor。
\"Comehaveadrink，\"saidStuarttome。\"Iamgladyousaidit。OldMotherMatternwillletdownthoseprodigyskirts。Thepoorgirlhasbeenashamedofthemthesetwoyears，butmommahasbulldozedherintostayingyoungforstageeffect。Thegirl’snotconceited，forawonder，andshespeakswell。Itisevenbettingwhichofthetwowidowsyouhavemadethemaddest。\"
Closebythesaloonwewereimpededbyarushofsmallboys。Theyranbeforeandbehindussuddenlyfrombarrelsandunforeseenplaces，andwedgingandbumpingbetweenus，theyshouted：\"Chicken—legs！Ah，lookatthechicken—legs！\"
ForasensitivemomentIfearedtheywerespeakingofme；butthefoldingslat—doorsofthesaloonburstopenoutward，andagiantbarkeepercameamongtheboysandcaughtandshookthemtosilence。
\"Youwanttobehave，\"washissingleremark；andtheydispersedlikeaSunday—school。
Ididnotseewhytheyshouldthusdescribehim。Hestoodandnoddedtous，andjerkedbigthumbtowardsthedepartingflock。\"Funnyhowaboywillneverthink，\"saidhe，withamiability。\"Butthey’llgrowuptobeaboutasgoodastherestofus，Iguess。Don’tyouletthemmonkeywithyou，Josey！\"hecalled。
\"Naw，Iwon’t，\"saidavoice。Iturnedandsaw，byabarrel，ayouthinknee—breechesgloweringdownthestreetathisroutedenemies。Hewaspossiblyeight，andonehandwasboundinagrimyrag。ThiswasChicken—
legs。
\"Didtheyharmyou，Josey？\"askedthegiant。
\"Naw，theydidn’t。\"
\"Nottroubledyourhandany？\"
\"Naw，theydidn’t。\"
\"Well，don’tyouletthemtouchyou。We’llseeyouthrough。\"Andaswefollowedhimintowardsourdrinkthroughhisfoldingslat—doorshecontinueddiscoursingtome，thenewcomer。\"Iamagainstinterferingwithkids。Iliketoleave’emfightandfooljustasmuchastheyseefit。
Nowthemboysain’tmalicious，butthey’reyoung，yousee，they’reyoung，andmisfortunedon’tappealtothem。Joseylosthisfatherlastspring，andhismotherdiedlastmonth。Lastweekheplayedwithafreightcarandlefttwoofhisfingerswithit。Nowyoumightthinkthatwasenoughhardship。\"
\"Indeedyes，\"Ianswered。
\"Butthelittlestakeheinheritedwasgambledawaybyhisstinkingoldaunt。\"
\"Well！\"Icried。
\"Sowe’reseeinghimthrough。\"
\"Youbet，\"saidacitizeninbootsandpistol，whowasplayingbilliards。
\"ThistownisnotgoingtopermitanymantofoolwithJosey，\"statedhisopponentinthegame。
\"Orwomeneither，\"addedaloungerbythebar，shaggy—beardedandalsowithapistol。
\"Mr。AbeHanson，\"saidthebarkeeper，presentingmetohim。\"Josey’sfather’spartner。He’stooktheboyfromtheauntandisgoingtoseehimthrough。\"
\"How’r’ye？\"saidMr。Hanson，hoarsely，andwithoutenthusiasm。
\"Amemberoftheprize—awardingcommittee，\"explainedStuart，andwavedahandatme。
Theyallbrightenedupandcameroundme。
\"Heardmyboyspeak？\"inquiredone。\"ReubGadsden’shisname。\"
ItoldhimIhadheardnospeakerthusfar；andImentionedLeolaandGuy。
\"Hopetheboy’llgiveus’TheJumpingFrog’again，\"saidone。\"Inearbust。\"
\"What’stheheiferspeakin’thistrip？\"anotherinquired。
\"Huh！Her！\"saidathird。
\"You’lltalkdifferent，maybe，thistime，\"retortedtheother。
\"Notagin’TheJumpingFrog，’hewon’t，\"thefirstinsisted。\"Inearbust，\"herepeated。
\"I’dlikeforyoutoknowmyboyReub，\"saidMr。Gadsdentome，insinuatingly。
\"Quitfixing’thejudge，Al，\"saidLeola’sbacker。\"Reubforgetshiswords，an’says’emover，an’balks，an’miresdown，an’backsout，anstartsfresh，en’it’sconfusin’tofollerhim。\"
\"I’mgladtoseeyoutakesomuchinterest，gentlemen，\"saidI。
\"Yes，we’reapttoseeitthrough，\"saidthebarkeeper。AndStuartandI
badethemagood—morning。
Aswenearedtheschool—master’shouse，whereStuartwasnexttakingme，wecameagainupontheboyswithJosey，andnobarkeeperathandto\"seehimthrough。\"ButJoseymadeitneedless。Attheword\"Chicken—legs\"heflewinalimbermanneruponthenearest，andknockinghimimmediatelyflat，turnedwithspirituponasecondandkickedhim。Atthistheysetupascreechingandfellalltogether，andtheschool—mastercameoutofhisdoor。
\"Boys，boys！\"saidhe。\"AndtheSabbathtoo！\"
Asthisdidnotimmediatelyaffectthem，Mr。Eastmanmadeacharge，andtheyfledfromhimthen。AlongstockingofJosey’swastorn，andhungintwostreamersroundhisankles；andhisdanglingshoe—lacesweretroddentofringe。
\"Ifyouwantyourhandtogetwellforstrawberrynight——\"beganMr。
Eastman。
\"Ah，botherstrawberrynight！\"saidJosey，andhoppedatoneofhisplaymates。ButMr。Eastmancaughthimskilfullybythecollar。
\"Iamgladhismisfortuneshavenotcrushedhimaltogether，\"saidI。
\"JoseyYeattsisananxiouscase，sir，\"returnedtheteacher。\"Severalinfluencesthreatenhiswelfare。YesterdayIfoundtobaccoonhim。
Chewing，sir。\"
\"Justyouhurtme，\"saidJosey，\"andI’lltellAbe。\"
\"Abe！\"exclaimedMr。Eastman，liftinghisbrow。\"Hemeansamanoldenoughtobehisfather，sir。Iendeavortoinstillhimwithsomefewnotionsofrespect，butthetownspoilshim。Indulgeshimcompletely，I
maysay。AndwhenSharon’ssympathiesarestirredsir，itwillespouseacauseverywarmly——Givemethat！\"brokeofftheschoolmaster，andtherefollowedabriefwrestle。\"Chewingagainto—day，sir，\"headdedtome。
\"Abelemmehaveit，\"shriekedJosey。\"Lemmego，orhe’llcomeoverandfixyou。\"
Butthecalm，chillyEastmanhadgroundthetobaccounderhisheel。\"Youcanunderstandhowmyhandsaretied，\"hesaidtome。
\"Readily，\"Ianswered。
\"ThemengiveJoseyhiswayineverything。Hehasa——Imaysayanunworthyaunt。\"
\"Yes，\"saidI。\"SoIhavegathered。\"
AtthispointJoseyduckedandslidfree，andtheunitedflockvanishedwithjeersatus。Joseyforgottheyhadinsultedhim，theyforgothehadbeatenthem；againstacommonenemywastheirfriendshipcemented。
\"YouspokeofSharon’swarmwayofespousingcauses，\"saidItoEastman。
\"Idid，sir。Noonecouldliveherelongwithoutnoticingit。\"
\"Sharonisaquiettown，butsudden，\"remarkedStuart。\"Apttobesudden。
They’rebeginningaboutstrawberrynight，\"hesaidtoEastman。\"Wantedtoknowaboutthingsdowninthesaloon。\"
\"Howdoestheirtasteinelocutionchieflylie？\"Iinquired。
Eastmansmiled。Hewasyoung，totallybald，themoraldomeofhisskullrisingwhiteabovevisionaryeyesandaseriousauburnbeard。Hewasclothedinableak，smoothslate—graysuit，andatanyclimaxofemphasisheliftedslightlyuponhistoesandrelaxedagain，shuttinghislipstightonthefinishedsentence。\"Yourquestion，\"saidhe，\"hasoftenperplexedme。Sometimestheyseemtopreferverse；sometimesprosestirsthemgreatly。Weshallhavealiberalcropofboththisyear。IamproudtotellyouIhaveaugmentedournumberofstrawberryspeakersbynearlyfiftypercent。\"
\"Howmanywilltherebe？\"saidI。
\"Eleven。Youmightwishsomecouldbeexcused。ButIletthemspeaktostimulatetheirinterestinculture。Willyounottakedinnerwithme，gentlemen？IwasjustsittingdownwhenlittleJoseyYeattsbroughtmeout。\"
Weweregladtodothis，andheopenedanothercanofcornedbeefforus。
\"Icannotofferyouwine，sir，\"saidhetome，\"thoughIamawareitisageneralhabitinluxurioushomes。\"Andhetightenedhislips。
\"Generalhabitwherevertheydon’tpreferwhiskey，\"saidStuart。
\"Ifearso，\"theschool—masterreplied，smiling。\"Thatpoisonshallneverentermyhouse，gentlemen，anymorethantobacco。AndasIcannotreformtheadultsofSharon，IamdoingwhatIcanfortheirchildren。LittleHughStraightisgoingtosayhis’Lochinvar’verypleasingly，Mr。
Stuart。Iwentoveritwithhimlastnight。Ilikethemtobewordper—
fect，\"hecontinuedtome，\"asfailuresonexhibitionnightelicitunfavorablecomment。\"
\"Andarewetoexpectfailuresalso？\"Iinquired。
\"ReubenGadsdenislikelytomortifyus。Heisanearnestboy，butnervous；andoneortwoothers。ButIhavelimitedtheirlength。ReubenGadsden’sfatherdeclinedtohavehisboycutshort，andhewillgiveusaspeechofBurke’s；butIhopeforthebest。Itnarrowsdown，itnarrowsdown。GuyJeffriesandLeolaMatternarethetwo。\"
\"Theparentsseemtotakekeeninterest，\"saidI。
Mr。EastmansmiledatStuart。\"Wehavenoreasontosupposetheyhavechangedsincelastyear，\"saidhe。\"Why，sir，\"hesuddenlyexclaimed，\"ifIdidnotfeelIwasdoingsomethingfortheyounggenerationhere，I
shouldleaveSharonto—morrow！Oneisnotappreciated，notappreciated。\"
Hespokeferventlyofvariouslocalenterprises，hisfailures，hishopes，hisachievements；andIlefthishousehonoringhim，butamazed——hisheartwassowideandhisheadsonarrow；amanwhowouldpurifywithsimultaneousausteritythemoralsofLochinvarandofSharon。
\"Aboutonceamonth，\"saidStuart，\"Irunagainstanewsideheisblindon。Takehispuzzlementastowhethertheyperferverseorprose。Queeranddumbofhimthat，yousee。Sharondoesnotknowthedifferencebetweenverseandprose。\"
\"That’sgoingtoofar，\"saidI。
\"Theydon’t，\"herepeated，\"whenitcomestostrawberrynight。Ifthepieceisaboutsomethingtheyunderstand，rhymesdonothelporhinder。
Andofcoursesexisapttosettlethequestion。\"
\"ThenIshouldhavethoughtLeola——\"Ibegan。
\"Notthesexofthespeaker。It’sthelisteners。Nowyoutakewomen。
Womengenerallyprefersomethingthatwillgivethemagoodcry。Wemenwanttolaughmostly。\"
\"Yes，\"saidI；\"Iwouldratherlaughmyself，Ithink。\"
\"You’dknowyou’dratherifyouhadtoliveinSharon。Thelaughisoneofthebigdifferencesbetweenwomenandmen，andIwouldgiveyoumyviewsaboutit，onlymySunday—offtimeisup，andI’vegottogototelegraphing。\"
\"Ourwaysaretogether，\"saidI。\"I’mgoingbacktotherailroadhotel。\"
\"There’sGuy，\"continuedStuart。\"Hetooktheprizeon’TheJumpingFrog。’SpokebetterthanLeola，anyhow。Shespoke’TheWreckoftheHesperus。’ButGuyhadthebackbenches——that’swherethemensit——
prettywelluseless。Guessiftherehadbeenafire，someofthefellowswouldhavebeenscorchedbeforethey’dhavegotstrengthsufficienttorunout。Buttheladiesdidnotlaughmuch。Saidtheysawnothingmuchinjumpingafrog。AndifLeolahadmade’emcrygoodandhardthatnight，thecommittee’sdecisionwouldhavekickedupmoreofafussthanitdid。
Asitwas，Mrs。Matterngotmealone；butIworkedusaroundtowhereMrs。Jeffrieswashavingherice—cream，andIleftthemtoargueitout。\"
\"Letusadheretothatpolicy，\"IsaidtoStuart；andherepliednothing，butintothecornerofhiseyewanderedthatlurkingsmilewhichrevealedthatlifebroughthimcompensations。
Hewenttotelegraphing，andItoreveryconcerningstrawberrynight。I
foundmyselfwishingnowthattherecouldhavebeentwoprizes；IdesiredbothLeolaandGuytobehappy；andpresentlyIfoundthematterwouldbeveryclose，sofaratleastasmyjudgmentwent。Forboyandgirlbothbroughtmetheirselections，beggingIwouldcoachthem，andthisIhadplentyofleisuretodo。IpreferredGuy’schoice——thestoryofthatblue—jaywhodroppednutsthroughtheholeinaroof，expectingtofillit，andhisfriendscametolookonanddiscoveredtheholewentintotheentirehouse。Itisbettereventhan\"TheJumpingFrog\"——betterthananything，Ithink——andyoungGuytolditwell。ButLeolabroughtapotentrivalonthetearfulsideofthings。\"TheDeathofPaulDombey\"isplatedpathos，notwhollysterling；butSharoncouldnotknowthis；andwhileLeolamostprettilyrecitedittomeIwouldlosemyrecentopinioninfavorofGuy，andacknowledgethevalueofherperformance。Guymighthavethemenstrongforhim，butthistimethewomenweregoingtocry。I
gotalsoacertainothersortofentertainmentoutofthecompetingmothers。Mrs。JeffriesandMrs。MatternhadawayofbeinginthehotelofficeathourswhenIpassedthroughtomeals。Theynevercametogether，andalwaysweretakenbysurpriseatmeetingme。
\"Leolaiseversogratefultoyou，\"Mrs。Matternwouldsay。
\"Oh，\"Iwouldanswer，\"donotspeakofit。HaveyoueverheardGuy’s’Blue—Jay’story？\"
\"Well，ifit’sanythinglikethatfrogbusiness，Idon’twantto。\"Andtheladywouldleaveme。
\"Guytellsmeyouarehelpinghimsokindly，\"saidMrs。Jeffries。
\"Ohyes，I’msevere，\"’Ianswered，brightly。\"Iletnothingpass。IonlywishIwasascarefulwithLeola。Butassoonasshebegins’Paulhadneverrisenfromhislittlebed，’Ijustlosemyselflisteningtoher。\"
Onthewhole，therewerealsocompensationsformeinthesemothers，andIthoughtitaswelltosecuretheminadvance。
WhenthetrainarrivedfromElPaso，andIsawourstrawberriesandourice—creamtakenout，Ifeltthehourtobeathand，andthatwhateverourdecision，nobiascouldbelaidtome。Accordingtohisprudenthabit，Eastmanhadthespeakersfolloweachotheralphabetically。ThishappenedtoplaceLeolaafterGuy，andperhapsmightgiveherthelastword，asitwere，withthepeople；butourcommitteewasthere，andsuperiortosuchaccidents。Theflagsandthebuntinghunggayaroundthedrapedstage。
Whiletheaudiencerustledorresoundinglytrodtoitschairs，andseatedneighborsconferredsolemnlytogetherovertheprogramme，Stuart，behindthebunting，played\"SilverThreadsamongtheGold\"uponamelodeon。
\"Prettygoodthis，\"hesaidtome，pumpinghisfeet。
\"What？\"Isaid。
\"Tune。Sharonisforfreesilver。\"
\"Doyouthinktheywillcatchyourallusion？\"Iaskedhim。
\"No。ButIhaveawayofenjoyingathingbymyself。\"Andhepumpedaway，playingwithtastefulvariationsuntilthehallwasfullandthesinging—classassembledinglovesandribbons。
Theyopenedtheceremoniesforusbyrendering\"SweetandLow\"veryhappily；andItrusteditwasanomen。
Sharonwashearty，andwehad\"SweetandLow\"twice。Thenthespeakingbegan，andthespeakerswerewelcomed，comingandgoing，withmildandfriendlydemonstrations。NothingthatonewouldespeciallymarkwentwronguntilReubenGadsden。Hestrodetothemiddleoftheboards，andtheycreakedbeneathhistread。Hestoodamomentinlargeglitteringbootsandwithhairflatandprominentlywatered。Ashestraightenedfromhisbowhissuspender—buttonscameintoview，andremainedsoforsomesingularinternalreason，whilehesenthisrighthanddownintothenearestpocketandbeganhisoratory。
\"ItissixteenorseventeenyearssinceIsawtheQueenofFrance，\"hesaid，impressively，andstopped。
Wewaited，andpresentlyheresumed：
\"ItissixteenorseventeenyearssinceIsawtheQueenofFrance。\"Hetooktherighthandoutandputthelefthandin。
\"Itissixteenorseventeenyears，\"saidhe，andstaredfrowningathisboots。
Ifoundthesilencewasgettingonmynerves。Ifeltasifitweremyselfwhowasdriftingtoidiocy，andtremulousemptysensationsbegantooccurinmystomach。HadIbeenabletorecallthenextsentence，Ishouldhavepromptedhim。
\"ItissixteenorseventeenyearssinceIsawtheQueenofFrance，\"saidtheorator，rapidly。
Anddowndeepbackamongthemencameavoice，\"Well，Iguessitmustbe，Reub。\"
Thissnappedthetension。IsawReuben’sbootsmarchaway；Mr。Eastmancamefrombehindthebuntingandspoke（Isuppose）wordsofprotest。I
couldnothearthem，butinaminute，orperhapstwo，wegrewcalm，andthespeakingcontinued。
TherewasnoquestionwhattheythoughtofGuyandLeola。Heconqueredthebackoftheroom。Theycalledhisname，theyblessedhimwithendearingaudibleoaths，andeventheladiessmiledathispleasant，honestface——theladies，exceptMrs。Mattern。ShesatnearMrs。Jeffries，andthroughoutGuy’s\"Blue—Jay\"fannedherself，exhibitingawell—sustainedinattention。ShemighthaveforeseenthatMrs。Jeffrieswouldhaveherturn。Whenthe\"DeathofPaulDombey\"came，andhandkerchiefsbegantotwinkleoutamongtheaudience，andvariousnoisesofgriefwererisingaroundus，andthementhemselvesmurmuredinsym—
pathy，Mrs。Jeffriesnotonlypreservedasuppressed—hilaritycountenance，butmanagedtocoughtwicewithacoughthatvisiblybitintoMrs。Mattern’ssoul。
ButLeola’sappealingcadencesmovedmealso。WhenPaulwasdead，shemadeherprettylittlebow，andwesatspellbound，thengaveherapplausesurpassingGuy’s。UnexpectedlyIfoundembarrassmentofchoicedazingme，andIsatwithoutattendingtothelaterspeakers。Wasnotsuccessfulhumormoredifficultthanpathos？Werenottearsmorecheaplyraisedthanlaughter？Yet，ontheotherhand，Guyhadoneprize，andwheremeritwassoeven——Isat，Isay，forgetfuloftherestofthespeakers，whensuddenlyIwasawareofloudershoutsofwelcome，andIawakedtoJoseyYeattsbowingatus。
\"Spititout，Josey！\"alargeencouragingvoicewascryinginthebackofthehall。\"We’llseeyouthrough。\"
\"Don’tbescared，Josey！\"yelledanother。
ThenJoseyopenedhismouthandrhythmicallyrattledthefollowing：
\"IlovelittlepussyhercoatissowarmAndifIdon’thurthershe’lldomenoharmI’llsitbythefi—yerandgivehersomefoodAndpussywilllovemebecauseIamgood。\"
Thatwasall。Ithadcomewithoutfalterorpause，evenforbreath。Joseystood，andtheroomrosetohim。
\"Again！again！\"theyroared。\"Heain’tabitscared！\"\"Goit，Josey！\"
\"Youdon’tforgityerpiece！\"Andagreatdealmore，whiletheypoundedwiththeirboots。
\"Ilovelittlepussy，\"beganJosey。
\"Poordarling！\"saidaladynextme。\"Nomother。\"
\"I’llsitbythefi—yer，\"
Joseywascontinuing。Butnobodyheardhimfinish。TheroomwasaBabel。
\"Lookathislittlehand！\"\"Onlythreefingersinsidethemrags！\"\"Nobodytomendhisclothesanymore。\"Theyalltalkedtoeachother，andclappedandcheered，whileJoseystood，onelegslightlyadvancedandproudlystiff，somewhatafterthemannerofthosemilitaryengravingswheresomegeneralisseenerectuponaneminenceatthemomentofvictory。
Mr。Eastmanagainappearedfromthebunting，andwastellingus，Ihavenodoubt，somethingofimportance；butthegiantbarkeepernowshoutedabovethedin，\"WhosaysJoseyYeattsain’tthespeakerforthisnight？\"
AtthatstrikingofthecommonchordIsawthemheave，promiscuousandunanimous，upthestepstothestage。JoseywassetuponAbeHanson’sshoulder，whileladiesweptaroundhim。WhattheliterarycommitteemighthavedoneIdonotknow，forwehadnotthetimeeventoresign。GuyandLeolanowappeared，bearingtheprizebetweenthem——apictureofWashingtonhandingtheBibleoutofcloudstoAbrahamLincoln——andveryimmediatelyIfoundmyselfpartofaprocession。Menandwomenwewere，marchingaboutSharon。Thebarkeeperled；fourofSharon’sfathersfol—
lowedhim，escortingJoseybornealoftonAbeHanson’sshoulder，andrigidandmilitaryinhisbearing。LeolaandGuyfollowedwiththepicture；Stuartwalkedwithme，whistlingmelodiesofthewar——Dixieandothers。Eastmanwasnotwithus。Whentheladiesfoundthemselvesconductedtothesaloon，theydiscreetlywithdrewbacktotheentertainmentwehadbrokenoutfrom。Joseysawthemgo，andshrillyspokehisfirstword：
\"Ain’tIgoingtohaveanyice—cream？\"
Thispresentlycausedustoreturntotheladies，andwefinishedtheeveningwithentireunityofsentiment。Eastmanalonetooktheincidenttoheart；inquiredhowhewastoaccomplishanythingwithhandstied，andmurmuredhisconstantburdenoncemore：\"Oneisnotappreciated，notappreciated。\"
IdonotstopoverinSharonanymore。Myranchfriend，whosepresencetherebroughtmetovisithim，isgoneaway。Butsuchwasmyvirginexperienceoftheplace；andinlaterdaysfateledmetobeconcernedwithtwomorelocalcompetitions——onemilitaryandonecivil——whichgreatlystirredthepopulation。SothatIneverpassSharononmylongtravelswithoutaffectionatelysurveyingthesandy，quivering，bleachedtown，unshadedbyitstwinklingforestofwind—wheels。Surelytheheartalwaysremembersaspotwhereithasbeenmerry！AndonethingIshouldliketoknow——shallknow，perhaps：whatsortofcitizeninourrepublicJoseywillgrowtobe。Forwhomwillhevote？MayhenothimselfcometositinWashingtonandmakelawsforus？Universalsuffrageholdssomanypossibilities。
NapoleonShave—TailAugustusAlbumblatt，youngandnewandsleekwiththelatestbook—
knowledgeofwar，reportedtohisfirsttroopcommanderatFortBrown。
Theladieshadwatchedforhim，becausehewouldincreasethenumberofmen，theofficersbecausehewouldlessenthenumberofduties；andhejoinedatacrisisfavorabletobecomingspeedilyknownbythemall。Uponthatsamedayhadhouseholdservantsbecomeanextinctrace。Thelastone，thecommandingofficer’scook，hadtoldthecommandingofficer’swifethatshewasusedtolivingwhereshecouldseethecars。Sheaddedthattherewasnosocietyhere\"fitformanorbasteatall。\"ThisopinionwasformedontheprecedingafternoonwhenCasey，asergeantofroguishattractionsinGtroop，hadtoldherthathewasnotamarryingman。Threehourslatersheweddedagambler，andthismorningatsixtheyhadtakenthestageforGreenRiver，twohundredmilessouth，thenearestpointwherethebridecouldseethecars。
\"Frank，\"saidthecommandingofficer’swife，\"sendovertoHtroopforYork。\"
\"Catherine，\"heanswered，\"mydear，ourstatesmenatWashingtonsayit’swickedtohirethefreeAmericansoldiertocookforyou。It’stoomenialforhismanhood。\"
\"Frank，stuff！\"
\"Hush，mylove。ThereforeYorkmustbesparedtheinsultoftwentymoredollarsamonth，ourstatesmenmustbere—elected，andyouandI，Catherine，beingcookless，mustjointhegeneralmess。\"
Thusdidallseparatehousekeepingend，andthegarrisonbeganunitedlytoeatthreetimesadaywhataChinamansetbeforethem，whenthelong—expectedAlbumblattsteppedintotheirmidst，justintimeforsupper。
Thisyouthwasspic—and—spanfromtheMilitaryAcademy，withatop—dressingofthreemonths’thoughtfultravelinGermany。\"Iwasdeeplyimpressedwiththemodernityoftheirscientificattitude，\"hepleasantlyremarkedtothecommandingofficer。ForCaptainDuane，silentusually，talkedatthisfirstmealtomaketheboywelcomeinthisforlorntwo—companypost。
\"We’recutofffromallthatsortofthinghere，\"saidhe。\"I’venotbeeneastoftheMissourisince’69。Butwe’vegottherailroadacross，andwe’vekilledsomeIndians，andwe’vehadsomefun，andwe’regladwe’realive——eh，Mrs。Starr？\"
\"Ishouldthinkso，\"saidthelady。
\"Especiallynowwe’vegotabacheloratthepost！\"saidMrs。Bainbridge。
\"Thathasbeentheonedrawback，Mr。Albumblatt。\"
\"Ithankyouforthecompliment，\"saidAugustus，bendingsolemnlyfromhiships；andMrs。StarrlookedathimandthenatMrs。Bainbridge。
\"We’renotover—gay，Ifear，\"theCaptaincontinued；\"buttheflat’sfullofantelope，andthere’sgoodshootingupbothcanyons。\"
\"HaveyoufollowedtherecenttargetexperimentsatMetz？\"inquiredthetraveller。\"Irefertotheflattenedtrajectoryandtheobuscontroversy。\"
\"Wehavenotheardthereports，\"answeredthecommandant，withbecominggravity。\"Butweownamountainhowitzer。\"
\"ThemodernityofGermanordnance——\"beganAugustus。
\"Doyoudance，Mr。Albumblatt？\"askedMrs。Starr。
\"Forwe’llhaveahopandallbeyourpartners，\"Mrs。Bainbridgeexclaimed。
\"Iwillbepleasedtoaccommodateyou，ladies。\"
\"It’sanythingforvariety’ssakewithus，yousee，\"saidMrs。Starr，smoothlysmiling；andonceagainAugustusbentblandlyfromhiships。
Butthecommandingofficerwishedleniency。\"Youseeusall，\"hehastenedtosay。\"Commissionedofficersanddancing—men。Prettyshabby——\"
\"Oh，Captain！\"saidalady。
\"Andprettyold。\"
\"Captain！\"saidanotherlady。
\"Butaliveandkicking。CaptainStarr，Mr。Bainbridge，theDoctorandme。Weareseven。\"
Augustuslookedaccuratelyabouthim。\"DoIunderstandseven，Captain？\"
\"Weareseven，\"theseniorofficerrepeated。
AgainMr。Albumblattcountedheads。\"Iimagineyouincludetheladies，Captain？Ha！ha！\"
\"Sevencommissionedmales，sir。OurMajorisonsick—leave，andtwoofourLieutenantsarerelatedtothePresident’swife。Shecan’tbearthemtobeexposed。Noneofusinthechurch—yardlie——butweareseven。\"
\"Ha！ha，Captain！That’sanelegantdoubleentendreonWordsworth’spoemandtheWarDepartment。Only，ifImaycorrectyouraddition——ha！
ha！——ourtotal，includingmyself，iseight。\"AndAugustusgrewashilariousasawoodennutmeg。
Thecommandingofficerrolledanintimateeyeathiswife。
Theladywassittingbigwithrage，butherwordswerecordialstill：
\"Indeed，Mr。Albumblatt，thewayofficerswhohaveinfluenceinWashingtonshirkdutyhereandgetdetailsEastissomethingIcan’tlaughabout。AtonetimetheCaptainwashisownadjutantandquartermaster。Therearemoreofficersatthistableto—nightthanI’veseeninthreeyears。SowearedoublygladtowelcomeyouatFortBrown。\"
\"Iamfortunatetobeondutywheremyservicesaresorequired，thoughI
couldobjecttocallingitFortBrown。\"AndAugustusexhaledanewsmile。
\"PreferSmith？\"saidCaptainStarr。
\"Youmisunderstandme。WhenwesayFortBrown。FortRussell，FortEtCetera，weareinexact。Theyarenotfortified。\"
\"CantonmentEtCeterawouldbeatriflelengthy，wouldn’tit？\"putintheDoctor，hisenduranceonthewane。
\"Perhaps；buttechnicallydescriptiveofourWesternposts。TheGermanscriticisethesemilitarylaxities。\"
CaptainDuanenowceasedtalking，buturbanelylistened；andfromtimetotimehiseyewouldscanAugustus，andthenacertainsublimatedlaugh，tohiswifewellknown；wouldseizehimforasinglevoicelessspasm，andpass。TheexperiencedAlbumblattmeanwhilecontinued，\"By—the—way，Doctor，youknowtheCharite，ofcourse？\"
DoctorGuildhadvisitedthatgreathospital，butbeingnowagoadedmanhestuckhisnoseinhisplate，andsaid，unwisely：\"Sharrity？What’sthat？\"ForthenAugustustoldhimwhatandwhereitwas，andthatKrankenhausisGermanforhospital，andthathehadbeendeeplyimpressedwiththemodernityoftheventilation。\"Thirty—fivecubicmetrestoabedinnewwards，\"hestated。\"Howmanydoyouallow，Doctor？\"
\"None，\"answeredthesurgeon。
\"DoIunderstandnone，Doctor？\"
\"Youdo，sir。Mypatientsbreatheincubicfeet，andswallowtheirdosesingrains，andhavetheirinflationmeasuredininches。\"
\"Nowthereagain！\"exclaimedAugustus，cheerily。\"Moreantiquitytobesweptaway！Andpeoplesayweyoungofficershavenoworkcutoutforus！\"
\"Patientsdon’tdiethenunderthemetricsystem？\"saidtheDoctor。
\"NowonderEurope’sovercrowded，\"saidStarr。
Butthestudent’smindinhabitedheightsabovesuchtrifling。\"Death，\"hesaid，\"occursinratiosnotdifferentiatedfromourstatistics。\"Andhetoldthemmuchmorewhiletheybookedathimovertheirplates。Hemanagedtosay’modernity’and’differentiate’again，forhecamefromourmiddleWest，wheretheyencountereducationtoosuddenly，anditwouldtakethreegenerationsofhimtospeakcleanEnglish。Butwithallhispolysyllabicwallowing，heshowedhimselfkeen—minded，patwithauthorities，aspruceyounggraduateamongthesedingyRockyMountaincampaigners。Theyhadfoughtandthirstedandfrozen；thebooksthatheknewwerenotwrittenwhentheywenttoschool；andsofaraswaristobemasteredonpaper，hisequipmentwasfullandpolishedwhiletheirswasmeagreandrusty。
Andyet，ifyouknowthingsthatotherandoldermendonot，itisaswellnottomentionthemtoohastily。Thesesoldierswishedthattheycouldhavebeentaughtwhatheknew；buttheywatchedyoungAugustusunfoldinghimselfwithagazethatmighthaveseemedchilltoalesshighlyabstractthinker。He，however，rosefromthetablepleasantlyedifiedbyhimself，andhopefulforthem。Andasheleftthem，\"Good—night，ladiesandgentlemen，\"hesaid；\"weshallmeetagain。\"
\"Ohyes，\"saidtheDoctor。\"Againandagain。\"
\"He’sgivenmeindigestion，\"saidBainbridge。
\"Takesomemetricsystem，\"saidStarr。
\"Andlieflatonyourtrajectory，\"saidtheDoctor。
\"Ihatehairpartedinthemiddleforaman，\"saidMrs。Guild。
\"Andhissuperioreye—glasses，\"saidMrs。Bainbridge。
\"Hisstaringconceitedteeth，\"hissedMrs。Starr。
\"Idon’tlikechildrensloppingtheirknowledgealloverme，\"saidtheDoctor’swife。
\"He’swellbrushed，though，\"saidMrs。Duane，seekingthebrightside。
\"He’llwipehisfeetonthematwhenhecomestocall。\"
\"I’dratherhavemudonmycarpetthanthatbandboxinanyofmychairs，\"
saidMrs。Starr。
\"He’snofool，\"musedtheDoctor。\"But，kingdomcome，whatanass！\"
\"Well，gentlemen，\"saidthecommandingofficer（andtheyperceivedaflavoroftheofficialinhistone），\"Mr。Albumblattisjusttwenty—one。
Idon’tknowaboutyou；butI’llneverhavethatexcuseagain。\"
\"Verywell，Captain，we’llbegood，\"saidMrs。Bainbridge。
\"Andgr—r—ateful，\"saidMrs。Starr，rollinghereyespiously。\"Iprophecyhe’llentertainus。\"
TheCaptain’sdemeanorremainedslightlyofficial；butwalkinghome，hisCatherinebyhissideinthedarkwastwiceawareofthatlaughofhis，twinklingintherecessesofhisopinions。Andlater，goingtobed，alittlejoketookhimsounreadythatitgotoutbeforehecouldsuppressit。\"Mylove，\"saidhe，\"mySecondLieutenantisgrievouslymislaidinthecavalry。Providencedesignedhimfortheartillery。\"
ItwaswifelybutnotrightinCatherinetorepeatthisstrictconfidenceinstrictestconfidencetoherneighbor，Mrs。Bainbridge，overthefencenextmorningbeforebreakfast。AtbreakfastMrs。Bainbridgespokeofartilleryreinforcingthepost，andherhusbandgiggledgirlishlyandlookedatthepuzzledDuane；andatdinnerMrs。StarraskedAlbumblatt，wouldnotartillerystrengthenthegarrison？
\"Evenalightbattery，\"pronouncedAugustus，promptly，\"wouldbeabsurdanduseless。\"
Whereuponthemessrattledknives，sneezed，andbecamevariouslydisturbed。SotheycalledhimAlbumbattery，andthenBlattery，whichismorecondensed；andCaptainDuane’sofficialtoneavailedhimnothinginthismatter。Buthemadenomorelittlemilitaryjokes；hedislikedgarrisonpersonalities。Civilizedbybirthandripefromweather—beatenyearsofmenandobserving，helookedhisSecondLieutenantover，andrememberedtohaveseenworsethanthis。Hehadnoquarrelwiththemetricsystem（trulythemostsensible），andthinkingtoleavenitwithalittleruleofthumb，hemadeAugustushisactingquartermaster。Buthepresentlyindulgedhiswifewiththesoldier—cookshewantedathome，sotheynolongerhadtoeattheirmealsinAlbumblatt’ssociety；andMrs。
StarrsaidthatthisshowedherhusbanddreadedhisquartermasterworsethantheSecretaryofWar。
AlasfortheQuartermaster’ssergeant，JohannesSchmoll，thatroutinedandclock—workGerman！HefoundAugustussomuchmoreGermanthanhehadeverbeenhimself，thathewentspeechlessforthreedays。Uponhislists，hisredink，andhisciphering，Augustusswoopedlikeabirdofprey，andallhisfondred—tapedeviceswereshreddedtothewinds。
Augustussetgoingnewquadraticonesofhisown，withanindexandcross—references。ItwasthenthatSchmollrecoveredhisspeechandwalkedalone，saying，\"MeinGott！\"Andoftenthereafter，wanderingamongthepiledstoresandapparel，hewouldflingbotharmsheavenwardandrepeattheexclamation。HehadratedhimselftheuniquehumansoulatFortBrownabletocountandarrangeunderclothing。Augustusrejectedhislaborioustally，andtogethertheyvigiledafterhours，verifyingsocksanddrawers。Next，Augustusfoundmorehorseshoesthanhispaperscalledfor。
\"Thatmangifmederstomachpainefryday，\"wailedSchmolltoSergeantCasey。\"Itellhim，’Lieutenant，dosehorseshoesisexpendable。Wedon’tacgountforefryshoeliketheywasmen’sshoes，undoderdingsdotisissued。’’Iprefertocakethemcop！’saysBabyBismarck。Undhesmilemithistwobeaverteeth。\"
\"BabyBismarck！\"cried，joyfully，therosy—facedCasey。\"Yo—hanny，takeadrink。\"
\"Undso，\"continuedtheoutragedSchmoll，\"hehafaBoardofSoorveyondree—poundhorseshoes，undIhafderstomachpain。\"
\"Itwasbucklesthenextmonth。Theallowanceexceededtheexpenditure，Augustus’sarithmeticcameoutwrong，andanotherboardsatonbuckles。
\"Yo—hanny，you’relookin’jadedunderColonelSafetypin。\"saidCasey。
\"Havesomething？\"
\"Safetypinismytreat，\"saidSchmoll；\"undveryapt。\"
ButAugustusfoundleisuretopervadethepostwithhismodernity。Hesethimselfmilitaryproblems，andsolvedthem；hewroteanessayon\"TheContactSquadron\"；hecorrectedBainbridgeforsaying\"throwbacktheleftflank\"insteadof\"refusetheleftflank\"；hehadreading—roomideas，canteen’ideas，ideasfortheIndiansandtheAgency，andrecruit—
drillideas，whichhepresentedtoSergeantCasey。Caseygavehim，inexchange，thenameofNapoleonShave—Tail，andhadhiswhiskeyagainpaidforbythesympatheticSchmoll。
\"Butblesshiseducatedheart，\"saidCasey，\"hedon’tlearnmenothingthat’llsoilmyinnercence！\"
Thusdidthesunny—humoredSergeanttakeit，butnotthusthemess。HadAugustusseenhimselfastheysawhim，couldhehaveheardMrs。Starr——
Buthedidnot；theyouthwasimpervious，andtoremovehiscomplacencywouldrequire（soMrs。Starrsaid）anoperation，probablyfatal。Thecommandingofficerheldalwaysalooffromgibing，yetoftenwhenAugustuspassedhimhisgrayeyewoulddwellupontheLieutenant’sback，andhisvoicelesslaughwouldpossesshim。ThatisthepictureIretainofthesedays——theunendinggoldensun，thewide，gentle—coloredplain，thesplendidmountains，theIndiansamblingthroughtheflat，cleardistance；
andhere，closealongtheparade—ground，eye—glassedAugustus，neatlyhastening，withtheCaptainonhisporch，asleepyoumightsuppose。
Oneearlymorningtheagent，withtwoIndianchiefs，waitedonthecommandingofficer，andaftertheirdeparturehiswifefoundhimbreakfastinginsolitarymirth。
\"Withoutme，\"shechided，sittingdown。\"AndIknowyou’vehadsomegoodnews。\"
\"Thebest，mylove。Providencehasbeentemptedatlast。Thewholesomeironyoflifeisabouttofunction。\"
\"Frank，don’tteaseso！Andwhereareyourushingnowbeforethecakes？\"
\"TosetourAugustusalittlemilitaryproblem，dearest。Plainlivingforto—day，andhighthinkingbejollywell——\"
\"Frank，you’regoingtoswear，andImustknow！\"
ButFrankhadswornandhurriedouttotherighttotheAdjutant’soffice，whilehisCatherineflewtothelefttothefence。
\"Ella！\"shecried。\"Oh，Ella！\"
Mrs。Bainbridge，instantlyontheothersideofthefence，broughtscantylight。Atelegramhadcome，sheknew，fromtheCrowAgencyinMontana。
Herhusbandhadadmittedthisthreenightsago；andCaptainDuane（sheknew）hadgivenhimsomeordersaboutsomething；andcoulditbetheCrows？\"Ella，Idon’tknow，\"saidCatherine。\"FranktalkedallaboutProvidenceinhisincurableway，anditmaybeanything。\"Sothetwoladieswonderedtogetheroverthefence，untilMrs。Duane，seeingtheCaptainreturn，rantohimandasked，weretheCrowsonthewar—path？
ThenherFranktoldheryes，andthathehaddetailedAlbumblatttovanquishthemandescortthemtoCarlisleSchooltolearnGermanandBeethoven’ssonatas。
\"Stuff，stuff，stuff！Why，therehedoesgo！\"criedtheunsettledCatherine。\"It’ssomethingattheAgency！\"ButCaptainDuanewasgoneintothehouseforacigar。
Albumblatt，withSergeantCaseyandadetailofsixmen，wasintruthhasteningoverthatbroadmilewhichopensbetweenFortBrownandtheAgency。Oneithersideofthemthelevelplainstretched，graywithitssage，buffwithinterveninggrass，hay—cockedwiththesmoky，mellow—stained，meerschaum—likecanvastepeesoftheIndians，quietasapainting；fareastwardlaylong，low，rose—redhills，halfdissolvedinthetremblingmysteryofsunanddistance；andwestward，closeathandandhigh，shonethegreatpale—blueserenemountainsthroughthevasterserenityoftheair。ThesoundinghoofsofthetroopsbroughttheIndiansoutoftheirtepeestosee。WhenAlbumblattreachedtheAgency，therewaitedtheagentandhistwochiefs，whopointedtoonelodgestandingapartsomethreehundredyards，andsaid，\"Heisthere。\"SothenAugustusbeheldhisproblem，themilitarydutyfallentohimfromProvidenceandCaptainDuane。
Itseemselementaryforhimwhohaswrittenof\"TheContactSquadron。\"ItwastoarrestoneIndian。Thisman，UteJack，haddoneamurderamongtheCrows，andfledsouthforshelter。Thetelegramheraldedhim，butwithboundlessmilesforhidinghehadstoleninunderthecoverofnight。Nowelcomemethim。TheseFortBrownIndianswerenothisfriendsatanytime，andlesssonow，whenhearrivedwilddrunkamongtheirfamilies。
Houndedout，hesoughtthisemptylodge，andherehewas，atbay，hishandagainsteveryman’s，countinghisownlifeworthlessexceptfordestroyingothersbeforehemusthimselfdie。
\"Ishearmed？\"Albumblattinquired，andwastoldyes。
Augustusconsideredthepeakedconetent。Theopeningwasonthisside，butacanvasdropclosedit。Notmuchofaproblem——onemaninsideasackwitheightoutsidetocatchhim！Butthebooksgavenoruleforthiscombination，andAugustushadmetwithnothingofthesortinGermany。Heconsideredatsomelength。Smokebegantorisethroughthemeetingpolesofthetepee，leisurelyandnatural，andoneofthechiefssaid：
\"MaybeUteJackcooking。Hehungry。\"
\"Thisisnotalaughingmatter，\"saidAugustustotheby—standers，whowereswiftlygathering。\"TellhimthatIcommandhimtosurrender，\"headdedtotheagent，whoshoutedthisforthwith；andsilencefollowed。
\"TellhimIsayhemustcomeoutatonce，\"saidAugustusthen；andreceivedfurthersilence。
\"Heeatnow，\"observedthechief。\"Can’ttalkmuch。\"
\"SergeantCasey，\"bellowedAlbumblatt，\"gooverthereandtakehimout！\"
\"TheLootenantunderstands，\"saidCasey，slowly，\"thatUteJackhasgotthedroponus，andthereain’tnogettinganydroponhim。\"
\"Sergeant，youwillexecuteyourorderswithoutfurthercomment。\"
Atthisamazingstepthesilencefellcoldindeed；butAugustuswasincommand。
\"ShallItakeanymenalong，sir？\"saidCaseyinhissoldier’smachinevoice。
\"Er——yes。Er——no。Er——doasyouplease。\"
Thesixtrooperssteppedforwardtogo，fortheylovedCasey；butheorderedthemsharplytofallback。Then，lookingintheireyes，hewhispered，\"Good—bye，boys，ifit’stobethatway，\"andwalkedtothelodge，liftedtheflap，andfell，shotinstantlydeadthroughtheheart。
\"Twobulletsintohim，\"mutteredatrooper，heavilybreathingasthesoundsrang。\"He’sdown，\"anotherspoketohimselfwithfixedeyes；andasightheydidnotknowofpassedamongthem。ThetwochiefslookedatAugustusandgruntedshorttalktogether；andone，withasweepingliftofhishandouttowardsthetepeeandthedeadmanbyit，said，\"MaybeUteJackonlygotthree——four——cartridges——so！\"（hisfingerscountedit）。
\"Afterhekillthree——four——men，yougethimprettygood。\"TheIndiantookthewhiteman’sdeaththus；butthewhitemencouldnotyetbeevensaturnine。
\"Thiswillrequirereinforcement，\"saidAugustustotheaudience。\"Theplacemustbeattackedbyafrontandflankmovement。Itmustbeknockeddown。ItellyouImusthaveitknockeddown。Howareyoutoseewhereheis，I’dliketoknow，ifit’snotknockeddown？\"Augustus’svoicewasgettinghigh。
\"Iwantthehowitzer，\"hescreechedgenerally。
Asoldiersaluted，andAugustuschatteredathim。
\"Thehowitzer，themountainhowitzer，Itellyou。Don’tyouhearme？Toknockthecursedthinghe’sindown。GotoCaptainDuaneandgivehimmycompliments，and——no，I’llgomyself。Where’smyhorse？Myhorse，Itellyou！It’sgottobeknockeddown。\"
\"Ifyouplease，Lieutenant，\"saidthetrooper，\"maywehavetheRedCrossambulance？\"
\"RedCross？What’sthatfor？What’sthat？\"
\"SergeantCasey，sir。He’sa—lyin’there。\"
\"Ambulance？Certainly。Thehowitzer——perhapsthey’reonlyfleshwounds。
Ihopetheyareonlyfleshwounds。Imusthavemoremen——you’llcomewithme。\"
FromhisporchDuaneviewedbothAugustusapproachandthemanstopatthehospital，andhavingexpectedabungle，sattohear；butatAlbumblatt’smottledfacehestoodupquicklyandsaid，\"What’sthematter？\"Andhearing，burstout：\"Casey！Why，hewasworthfiftyof——Goon，Mr。Albumblatt。Whatnextdidyouachieve，sir？\"Andasthetalewastoldhecooled，bitter，butofficial。
\"Reinforcementsisit，Mr。Albumblatt？\"
\"Thehowitzer，Captain。\"
\"Good。AndGtroop？\"
\"FormydoubleflankmovementI——\"
\"Perhapsyou’dlikeHtroopasreserve？\"
\"Notreserve，Captain。Ishouldestablish——\"
\"Thisisyourduty，Mr。Albumblatt。Performitasyoucan，withwhatforceyouneed。\"
\"Thankyou，sir。Itisnotexactlyabattle，butwitha，so—to—speak，intrenched——\"
\"Takeyourtroopsandgo，sir，andreporttomewhenyouhavearrestedyourman。\"
ThenDuanewenttothehospital，andoutwiththeambulance，hopingthatthesoldiermightnotbedead。Butthewholesomeironyoflifereckonsbeyondourcalculations；andtheunreproachful，sunnyfaceofhisSergeantevokedinDuane’smemorymanymarchesthroughlongheatandcold，backintherough，goodtimes。
\"Hittwice，Ithoughttheytoldme，\"saidhe；andthestewardsurmisedthatonehadmissed。
\"Perhaps，\"musedDuane。\"Andperhapsitwentasintended，too。What’sallthatfuss？\"
Heturnedsharply，havinglostAugustusamonghissadderthoughts；andhereweretheoperationsgoingbriskly。Powder—smokeinthreedirectionsatonce！Herewerepicketsfarout—lying，andadoublelineofskirmish—
ersdeployedinextendedorder，andamountedreserve，andmenstandingtohorse——acommandofnearahundred，apuddingofpompous，incompetent，callowbosh，withAugustusbyhishowitzer，scientificallyraisingandloweringittobearonthelonewhitetepeethatshoneintheplain。Fourraceswereassembledtolookon——themessChinaman，twoblacklaundresses，allthewhitesintheplace（onhorseandfoot，somewiththeirhatsleftbehind），andseveralhundredIndiansinblankets。DuanehadathoughttogoawayandleavethisgallingfarceundertheeyeofStarrfortheofficerswereathandalso。Buthissecondthoughtbadehimremain；andlookingatAugustusandthehowitzer，hislaughwouldhavereturnedtohim；buthisheartwassoreforCasey。
Itwasanhourofstrategyandcannonade，ahumiliatinghour，whichFortBrowntellsoftothisday；andthetepeelivedthroughitall。Foritstooduponfifteenslenderpoles，notspeedilytobechoppeddownbyshootingleadfromafar。Whenlowbulletsdrilledthecanvas，thechiefsuggestedtoAugustusthatUteJackhadclimbedup；andwhenthebulletsflewhigh，thenUteJackwasdoubtlessinahole。NordidAugustuscontrivetodropashellfromthehowitzeruponUteJackandexplodehim——ashrewdanddeadlyconception；theshellswentbeyond，exceptone，thatrippedthroughthecanvas，somewhatneartheground；andAugustus，dripping，turnedatlength，andsaying，\"Itwon’tgodown，\"stoodvacantlywipinghiswhiteface。Thenthetwochiefsgothisleavetostretcharopebetweentheirhorsesandridehardagainstthetepee。Itwasmilitaryneitherinessencenortosee，butitprevailed。Thetepeesank，ahugeumbrellawreckalongtheearth，andtherelayUteJackacrossthefire’sslighthollow，hisknee—capgonewiththehowitzershell。Butnobloodhadflownfromthat；bloodwillnotrun，youknow，whenamanhasbeendeadsometime。Onesingleothershothadstruckhim——onethroughhisownheart。Ithadsingedtheflesh。
\"Yousee，Mr。Albumblatt，\"saidDuane，inthewholecrowd’shearing，\"hekilledhimselfdirectlyafterkillingCasey。AveryrareactforanIndian，asyouaredoubtlessaware。Butifyourmanoeuvreswithhiscorpsehavetaughtyouanythingyoudidnotknowbefore，weshallallbegainers。\"
\"Captain，\"saidMrs。Starr，onalaterday，\"youandUteJackhaveendedourfun。SincetheCourtofInquiryletMr。Albumblattoff，hehasnotsaidGermanyonce——andthat’sthreemonthsto—morrow。\"
TwentyMinutesforRefreshmentsUponturningoveragainmydiaryofthatexcursiontothePacific，IfindthatIsetoutfromAtlanticwatersonthe30thdayofabackwardandforlornApril，whichhadcomeanddonenothingtowardsmakingitsshareofspring，buthadgone，missingitschance，leavingthetreesasbareasithadreceivedthemfromthewindsofMarch。Itwasnotbleakweatheralone，butcare，thatIsoughttoescapebyachangeofsky；andIhopedforsomefellow—travellerwhomightbegintointerestmythoughtsatonce。NosuchpersonmetmeintheseveralPullmanswhichIinhabitedfromthatafternoonuntiltheforenoonofthefollowingFriday。Throughthatlongdistance，thoughIhadslantedsouthwestwardacrossamultitudeofStatesandvegetations，andtheMississippilayelevenhundredmilestomyrear，thesingleeventismypurchasingsomecat’s—eyesofthenews—agentatSierraBlanca。Savethis，mydiarycontainsonlyneatadditionsofdailyexpenses，andmoralreflectionsofadelicateandrestrainedmelancholy。TheywerePecoscat’s—eyes，hetoldme，obtainedintherockycanyonsofthatstream，anddestinedtobeworthlittleuntilfashionturnedfromforeignjewelstobecomeawareofthesefinenativestones。AndI，gladtopossessthejewelsofmycountry，chosetwobraceletsandanecklaceofthem，payingbuttwentydollarsforfifteenorsixteencat’s—eyes，andresolvedtogivethemasettingworthyoftheirbeauty。ThediarycontinueswithmoralreflectionsupontheservilityofourtastebeforeanythingEuropean，andthehandwritingisclearanddeliberate。Itabruptlybecomeshurried，andatlengthwell—
nighillegible。Itisbest，Ithink，thatyoushouldhavethisportionasitcomes，unpolished，unamended，unarranged——hot，sotospeak，frommyimmediatepencil，insteadofcoldfrommysubsequentpen。Ishalldisguisecertainnames，butthatisall。
Fridayforenoon，May5。——Idon’thavetogazeatmycat’s—eyestokilltimeanymore。I’mnottheonlypassengeranymore。There’salady。ShegotinatElPaso。Shehastakenthedrawing—room，butsitsoutsidereadingnewspapercuttingsandwritingletters。Sheissixty，Ishouldsay，andhasacapandonegraycurl。Thiscomesdownoverherleftearasfarasapurpleribbonwhichsuspendsamedallionatherthroat。Shecameinwearingasage—greendusterofpongeesilk，prettynice，onlythebuttonsareasbigasthoselargestmint—drops。\"Youporter，\"shesaid，\"brushthis。\"Heputdownhermanythingsandreceivedit。Herdresswassagegreen，andprettynicetoo。\"Youporter，\"saidshe，\"openeverywindow。Why，theyare，Ideclare！What’sthethermometerinthiscar？\"
\"Ninety—five，ma’am。Folksmostlytravelling——\"\"Thatwilldo，porter。
Nowyougomakemeapitcheroflemonaderightquick。\"Shewentintothestate—roomandshutthedoor。Whenshecameoutshewasdressedinwhatappearedtobechintzbedroomcurtains。Theyhangandflowlooselyabouther，andarecoveredwithapatternofpinkpeonies。Shehasslippers——Turkish——thatstareupintheair，prettyhandsomeandcomfortable。ButIneverbeforesawanyonetravelwithfly—paper。Itmustbehardtopack。Butit’squiteanideainthistrain。Fullyadozenflieshavestucktoitalready；andshereadsherclippings，andwritesaway，andsipsanotherglassoflemonade，allwiththemostextremeap—
pearanceofleisure，nottosaysloth。Ican’timaginehowshemanagestoproducethisatmosphereofindolencewheninrealitysheissteadilyoccupied。Possiblythewayshesits。ButIthinkit’spartlythebedroomcurtains。
Thesenoteswereinterruptedbytheentranceofthenewconductor。\"Ifyoufolkshavecharteredaprivatecar，justsayso，\"heshoutedinstantlyatthesightofus。Hestoodstillattheextremeendandremovedhishat，whichwasacknowledgedbythelady。\"Travelissurelyverylight，Gadsden，\"sheassented，andwentonwithherwriting。Butheremainedstandingstill，andshoutinglikeanorator：\"Sprinklethefloorofthiscar，Julius，andlettheporepassengersgetabreathofcool。Mylands！\"Hefannedhimselfsweepinglywithhishat。Heseemedbutlittlelargerthanaredsquirrel，andpreciselythatcolor。Sorrelhair，sorreleyebrows，sorrelfreckles，lightsorrelmustache，thinaggressivenose，recedingchin，andblack，attentive，prominenteyes。Heapproached，andI
gavehimmyticket，whichisaslongasaneck—tie，andhasmyheight，thecolorofmyeyesandhair，andmygeneraldescription，punchedinthemargin。\"Why，youain’tmiddle—aged！\"heshouted，andasingularcroaksoundedbehindme。Buttheladywaswriting。\"IhavebeengrowingyoungersinceIboughtthatticket，\"Iexplained。\"That’sit，that’sit，\"hesang；aman’salwaysasoldashefeels，andawoman——iseveryoung，\"hefinished。\"Iseeyouaretruetotheoldteachingsandtheold—timechivalry，Gadsden，\"saidthelady，continuouslybusy。\"Yes，ma’am。JacobservedsevenyearsforLeahandsevenmoreforRachel。\"\"SuchmenareraisedtodayineveryworthyLouisianahome，Gadsden，beiteversohumble。\"\"Yes，ma’am。Giveafreshsprinkletothefloor，Julius，soonasitgoestogetdry。Excuseme，butdoyoushaveyourself，sir？\"ItoldhimthatIdid，butwithoutexcusinghim。\"YouwillseethatIhaveareasonforasking，\"heconsequentlypursued，andtookoutofhiscoat—tailsaroundtinboxhandsomelylabelled\"Nat。FlyPaperCo。，\"sothatIsupposeditwasthus，ofcourse，thattheladycamebyherfly—paper。Butthiswaspurecoincidence，andtheconductorexplained：
\"Thatcompany’smeandamanatShreveport，buthedissatisfiesmerightfrequently。Youknowwhatheavenagoodrazorisforaman，andwhatyoufeelaboutabadone。Vaselineandgroundshells，\"hesaid，openingthebox，\"andI’mnotsayinganythingexceptitwilllastyourlifetimeandneverhardens。Rubthesizeofapeaonthefinesideofyourstrop，spreadittoaninchwithyourthumb。MayIbegafavoronsoshortameeting？Joinmeinthegentlemen’slavatorywithyourrazorstropinfiveminutes。Ihavetoattendtoacorpseinthebaggage—car，andwillreturnatonce。\"\"Anybody’scorpseIknow，Gadsden？\"saidthelady。\"No，ma’am。
Justacorpse。\"
WhenIjoinedhim，forIwasnowwillingtodoanything，hewasapologeticagain。\"’Tisashortacquaintance，\"hesaid，\"butmayIalsobegyourrazor？QuickasIgetoutoftheNationalFlyIamgoingtoregistermynewlabel。FirsttherewillbeUncleSamembracingtheworld，signifyingthismixtureisuniversal，thenmyname，thenthewordStropine，whichisanoveltyandcarriescopyright，andIshallwincomfortanddoubtlessluxury。ThepostbarberatFortBayardtookadozenoffmeatsighttoretailtotheniggersoftheTwenty—fourth，andashedidnothappentohavetherequisitecashonhispersonIchargedhimtworoostersandfiftycents，andbothofusdonewell。He’saftermoreStropine，andIgotPullmanpricesformyroosters，thebuffet—carbeingoutofchickenalaMarengo。Thereisyourrazor，sir，andIappreciateyourcourtesy。\"Itwasbeautifullysharpened，andIboughtaboxoftheStropineandaskedhimwhotheladywas。\"Mrs。PorcherBrewton！\"heexclaimed。\"Haveyounevermethersocially？Whyshe——whysheisthemostintellectualladyinBeeBayou。\"\"Indeed！\"Isaid。\"WhyshevisitsNewOrleans，andCharleston，andalltheprincipalcentresofrefinement，andiswelcomedinWashington。Sheconversesfreelywithourstatesmenandisconsideredaqueenoflearning。Whyshewritespo’try，sir，andisstrong—minded。Butamanwouldn’twanttopickherupforafool，allthesamey。\"\"Ishouldn’t；Idon’t，\"saidI。\"Don’tyoudoit，sir。She’srunherplantationallalonesincetheColonelwaskilledinsixty—two。ShetaughtmeSunday—schoolwhenIwasalad，andsheusedtocatchmeatherpecan—trees’mosteverytimeinBeeBayou。\"
Hewentforward，andIwentbackwiththeStropineinmypocket。Theladywassippingthelastofthelemonadeandlookinghaughtilyoverthetopofherglassinto（Isuppose）theworldofherthoughts。Hereyesmetmine，however。\"HasGadsden——yes，Iperceivehehasbeentellingaboutme，\"shesaid，inherlanguid，formidablevoice。Shesetherglassdownandreclinedamongthefoldsofthebedroomcurtains，consideringme。
\"Gadsdenhasalwaysbeenlavish，\"shemused，caressingly。\"Heseemsdestinedtosucceedinlife，\"Ihazarded。\"ahn——a！\"shesighed，withdecision。\"Hewillfail。\"AsshesaidnomoreandasIbegantoresentthemannerinwhichshesurveyedme，Iremarked，\"Youseemrathersureofhisfailure。\"\"Iamoldenoughtobehismother，andyours，\"saidMrs。
PorcherBrewtonamonghercurtains。\"Heisanoble—heartedfellow，andwouldhavebeenahigh—souledSoutherngentlemanifborntothatstation。
Butwhatshouldaconductorearning$103。50amonthbedispersinghisattentiononsillypatentsfor？Many’sthetimeI’vetoldhimwhatI
think；butGadsdenwillalwaysbeflighty。Nofurtherobservationsoccurringtome，Itookupmynecklaceandbraceletsfromtheseatandputtheminmypocket。\"Willyoupermitameddlesomeoldwomantoinquirewhatmadeyoubuythosecat’s—eyes？\"saidMrs。Brewton。\"Why——\"I
dubiouslybegan。\"Nevermind，\"shecried，archly。\"IfyouwerethinkingofsomeoneinyourNorthernhome，theywillbeprizedbecausethethought，atanyrate，wasbeautifulandgenuine。’Where’erIroam，whateverrealmstosee，myheart，untravelled，fondlyturnstothee。’Nowdon’tyoubeembarrassedbyanoldwoman！\"IdesiredtoinformherthatI
dislikedher，butonecanneverdothosethings；and，anxioustolearnwhatwasthematterwiththecat’s—eyes，Ispokeamiablyandpolitelytoher。\"Twentydollars！\"shemurmured。\"AndhetoldyoutheycamefromthePecos！\"ShegavethatsinglemelodiouscroakIhadheardoncebefore。