ADVERTISEMENT
Thestoryof\"Catherine，\"whichappearedinFraser’sMagazinein1839—40，waswrittenbyMr。Thackeray，underthenameofIkeySolomons，Jun。，tocounteracttheinjuriousinfluenceofsomepopularfictionsofthatday，whichmadeheroesofhighwaymenandburglars，andcreatedafalsesympathyfortheviciousandcriminal。
Withthispurpose，theauthorchoseforthesubjectofhisstoryawomannamedCatherineHayes，whowasburnedatTyburn，in1726，forthedeliberatemurderofherhusband，underveryrevoltingcircumstances。Mr。Thackeray’saimobviouslywastodescribethecareerofthiswretchedwomanandherassociateswithsuchfidelitytotruthastoexhibitthedangerandfollyofinvestingsuchpersonswithheroicandromanticqualities。
CHAPTERI。Introducingtothereaderthechiefpersonagesofthisnarrative。
Atthatfamousperiodofhistory，whentheseventeenthcentury（afteradealofquarrelling，king—killing，reforming，republicanising，restoring，re—restoring，play—writing，sermon—
writing，Oliver—Cromwellising，Stuartising，andOrangising，tobesure）hadsunkintoitsgrave，givingplacetothelustyeighteenth；
whenMr。IsaacNewtonwasatutorofTrinity，andMr。JosephAddisonCommissionerofAppeals；whenthepresidinggeniusthatwatchedoverthedestiniesoftheFrenchnationhadplayedoutallthebestcardsinhishand，andhisadversariesbegantopourintheirtrumps；whenthereweretwokingsinSpainemployedperpetuallyinrunningawayfromoneanother；whentherewasaqueeninEngland，withsuchroguesforMinistersashaveneverbeenseen，no，notinourownday；andaGeneral，ofwhomitmaybeseverelyargued，whetherhewasthemeanestmiserorthegreatestherointheworld；whenMrs。
MashamhadnotyetputMadamMarlborough’snoseoutofjoint；whenpeoplehadtheirearscutoffforwritingverymeekpoliticalpamphlets；andverylargefull—bottomedwigswerejustbeginningtobewornwithpowder；andthefaceofLouistheGreat，ashiswashandedintohimbehindthebed—curtains，was，whenissuingthence，observedtolooklonger，older，andmoredismaldaily……
AbouttheyearOnethousandsevenhundredandfive，thatis，inthegloriousreignofQueenAnne，thereexistedcertaincharacters，andbefellaseriesofadventures，which，sincetheyarestrictlyinaccordancewiththepresentfashionablestyleandtaste；sincetheyhavebeenalreadypartlydescribedinthe\"NewgateCalendar；\"sincetheyare（asshallbeseenanon）agreeablylow，delightfullydisgusting，andatthesametimeeminentlypleasingandpathetic，mayproperlybesetdownhere。
Andthoughitmaybesaid，withsomeconsiderableshowofreason，thatagreeablylowanddelightfullydisgustingcharactershavealreadybeentreated，bothcopiouslyandably，bysomeeminentwritersofthepresent（and，indeed，offuture）ages；thoughtotreadinthefootstepsoftheimmortalFAGINrequiresageniusofinordinatestride，andtogoa—robbingafterthelatethoughdeathlessTURPIN，therenownedJACKSHEPPARD，ortheembryoDUVAL，maybeimpossible，andnotaninfringement，butawastefulindicationofill—willtowardstheeighthcommandment；thoughitmay，ontheonehand，beassertedthatonlyvaincoxcombswoulddaretowriteonsubjectsalreadydescribedbymenreallyanddeservedlyeminent；ontheotherhand，thatthesesubjectshavebeendescribedsofully，thatnothingmorecanbesaidaboutthem；onthethirdhand（allowing，forthesakeofargument，threehandstoonefigureofspeech），thatthepublichasheardsomuchofthem，astobequitetiredofrogues，thieves，cutthroats，andNewgatealtogether；——thoughalltheseobjectionsmaybeurged，andeachisexcellent，yetweintendtotakeafewmorepagesfromthe\"OldBaileyCalendar，\"toblessthepublicwithonemoredraughtfromtheStoneJug：*——yetawhiletolisten，hurdle—mounted，andridingdowntheOxfordRoad，totheblandconversationofJackKetch，andtohangwithhimroundtheneckofhispatient，attheendofourandhishistory。Wegivethereaderfairnotice，thatweshallticklehimwithafewsuchscenesofvillainy，throat—cutting，andbodilysufferingingeneral，asarenottobefound，no，notin——；nevermindcomparisons，forsuchareodious。
*This，asyourLadyshipisaware，isthepolitenameforHerMajesty’sPrisonofNewgate。
Intheyear1705，then，whetheritwasthattheQueenofEnglanddidfeelseriouslyalarmedatthenotionthataFrenchprinceshouldoccupytheSpanishthrone；orwhethershewastenderlyattachedtotheEmperorofGermany；orwhethershewasobligedtofightoutthequarrelofWilliamofOrange，whomadeuspayandfightforhisDutchprovinces；orwhetherpooroldLouisQuatorzedidreallyfrightenher；orwhetherSarahJenningsandherhusbandwantedtomakeafight，knowinghowmuchtheyshouldgainbyit；——whateverthereasonwas，itwasevidentthatthewarwastocontinue，andtherewasalmostasmuchsoldieringandrecruiting，parading，pikeandgun—exercising，flag—flying，drum—beating，powder—blazing，andmilitaryenthusiasm，aswecanallrememberintheyear1801，whattimetheCorsicanupstartmenacedourshores。Arecruiting—partyandcaptainofCutts’sregiment（whichhadbeensomangledatBlenheimtheyearbefore）werenowinWarwickshire；andhavingtheirdepotatWarwick，thecaptainandhisattendant，thecorporal，wereusedtotravelthroughthecountry，seekingforheroestofillupthegapsinCutts’scorps，——andforadventurestopassawaythewearytimeofacountrylife。
OurCaptainPlumeandSergeantKite（itwasatthistime，bytheway，thatthosefamousrecruiting—officerswereplayingtheirpranksinShrewsbury）wereoccupiedverymuchinthesamemannerwithFarquhar’sheroes。TheyroamedfromWarwicktoStratford，andfromStratfordtoBirmingham，persuadingtheswainsofWarwickshiretoleavetheploughforthePike，anddespatching，fromtimetotime，smalldetachmentsofrecruitstoextendMarlborough’slines，andtoactasfoodforthehungrycannonatRamilliesandMalplaquet。
Ofthosetwogentlemenwhoareabouttoactaveryimportantpartinourhistory，oneonlywasprobablyanativeofBritain，——wesayprobably，becausetheindividualinquestionwashimselfquiteuncertain，and，itmustbeadded，entirelyindifferentabouthisbirthplace；butspeakingtheEnglishlanguage，andhavingbeenduringthecourseofhislifeprettygenerallyengagedintheBritishservice，hehadatolerablyfairclaimtothemajestictitleofBriton。HisnamewasPeterBrock，otherwiseCorporalBrock，ofLordCutts’sregimentofdragoons；hewasofageaboutfifty—seven（eventhatpointhasneverbeenascertained）；inheightaboutfivefeetsixinches；inweight，nearlythirteenstone；withachestthatthecelebratedLeitchhimselfmightenvy；anarmthatwaslikeanopera—dancer’sleg；astomachsoelasticthatitwouldaccommodateitselftoanygivenorstolenquantityoffood；agreataptitudeforstrongliquors；aconsiderableskillinsingingchansonsdetableofnotthemostdelicatekind；hewasaloverofjokes，ofwhichhemademany，andpassablybad；whenpleased，simplycoarse，boisterous，andjovial；whenangry，aperfectdemon：bullying，cursing，storming，fighting，asissometimesthewontwithgentlemenofhisclothandeducation。
Mr。Brockwasstrictly，whattheMarquisofRodilstyledhimselfinaproclamationtohissoldiersafterrunningaway，ahijodelaguerra——achildofwar。Notsevencities，butoneortworegiments，mightcontendforthehonourofgivinghimbirth；forhismother，whosenamehetook，hadactedascamp—followertoaRoyalistregiment；hadthenobeyedtheParliamentarians；diedinScotlandwhenMonkwascommandinginthatcountry；andthefirstappearanceofMr。BrockinapubliccapacitydisplayedhimasafiferintheGeneral’sownregimentofColdstreamers，whentheymarchedfromScotlandtoLondon，andfromarepublicatonceintoamonarchy。
Sincethatperiod，Brockhadbeenalwayswiththearmy，hehadhad，too，somepromotion，forhespakeofhavingacommandatthebattleoftheBoyne；thoughprobably（ashenevermentionedthefact）uponthelosingside。Theveryyearbeforethisnarrativecommences，hehadbeenoneofMordaunt’sforlornhopeatSchellenberg，forwhichservicehewaspromisedapairofcolours；helostthem，however，andwasalmostshot（butfatedidnotordainthathiscareershouldcloseinthatway）fordrunkennessandinsubordinationimmediatelyafterthebattle；buthavinginsomemeasurereinstatedhimselfbyadisplayofmuchgallantryatBlenheim，itwasfoundadvisabletosendhimtoEnglandforthepurposesofrecruiting，andremovehimaltogetherfromtheregimentwherehisgallantryonlyrenderedtheexampleofhisriotmoredangerous。
Mr。Brock’scommanderwasaslimyounggentlemanoftwenty—six，aboutwhomtherewaslikewiseahistory，ifonewouldtakethetroubletoinquire。HewasaBavarianbybirth（hismotherbeinganEnglishlady），andenjoyedalongwithadozenotherbrothersthetitleofcount：elevenofthese，ofcourse，werepenniless；oneortwowerepriests，oneamonk，sixorseveninvariousmilitaryservices，andtheelderathomeatSchlossGalgensteinbreedinghorses，huntingwildboars，swindlingtenants，livinginagreathousewithsmallmeans；obligedtobesordidathomealltheyear，tobesplendidforamonthatthecapital，asisthewaywithmanyothernoblemen。Ouryoungcount，CountGustavusAdolphusMaximilianvonGalgenstein，hadbeenintheserviceoftheFrenchaspagetoanobleman；thenofHisMajesty’sgardesducorps；thenalieutenantandcaptainintheBavarianservice；andwhen，afterthebattleofBlenheim，tworegimentsofGermanscameovertothewinningside，GustavusAdolphusMaximilianfoundhimselfamongthem；andattheepochwhenthisstorycommences，hadenjoyedEnglishpayforayearormore。Itisunnecessarytosayhowheexchangedintohispresentregiment；howitappearedthat，beforehermarriage，handsomeJohnChurchillhadknowntheyounggentleman’smother，whentheywerebothpennilesshangers—onatCharlestheSecond’scourt；——itis，wesay，quiteuselesstorepeatallthescandalofwhichweareperfectlymasters，andtotracestepbysteptheeventsofhishistory。Here，however，wasGustavusAdolphus，inasmallinn，inasmallvillageofWarwickshire，onanautumneveningintheyear1705；andattheverymomentwhenthishistorybegins，heandMr。
Brock，hiscorporalandfriend，wereseatedataroundtablebeforethekitchen—firewhileasmallgroomoftheestablishmentwasleadingupanddownonthevillagegreen，beforetheinndoor，twoblack，glossy，long—tailed，barrel—bellied，thick—flanked，arch—necked，Roman—nosedFlandershorses，whichwerethepropertyofthetwogentlemennowtakingtheireaseatthe\"BugleInn。\"Thetwogentlemenwereseatedattheireaseattheinntable，drinkingmountain—wine；andifthereaderfanciesfromthesketchwhichwehavegivenoftheirlives，orfromhisownblindnessandbeliefintheperfectibilityofhumannature，thatthesunofthatautumneveningshoneuponanytwomenincountyorcity，atdeskorharvest，atCourtoratNewgate，drunkorsober，whoweregreaterrascalsthanCountGustavusGalgensteinandCorporalPeterBrock，heisegregiouslymistaken，andhisknowledgeofhumannatureisnotworthafig。Iftheyhadnotbeentwoprominentscoundrels，whatearthlybusinessshouldwehaveindetailingtheirhistories？Whatwouldthepubliccareforthem？Whowouldmeddlewithdullvirtue，humdrumsentiment，orstupidinnocence，whenvice，agreeablevice，istheonlythingwhichthereadersofromancescaretohear？
Thelittlehorse—boy，whowasleadingthetwoblackFlandershorsesupanddownthegreen，mighthaveputtheminthestableforanygoodthatthehorsesgotbythegentleexercisewhichtheywerenowtakinginthecooleveningair，astheirownershadnotriddenveryfarorveryhard，andtherewasnotahairturnedoftheirsleekshiningcoats；buttheladhadbeenespeciallyorderedsotowalkthehorsesaboutuntilhereceivedfurthercommandsfromthegentlemenreposinginthe\"Bugle\"kitchen；andtheidlersofthevillageseemedsopleasedwiththebeasts，andtheirsmartsaddlesandshiningbridles，thatitwouldhavebeenapitytodeprivethemofthepleasureofcontemplatingsuchaninnocentspectacle。OvertheCount’shorsewasthrownafineredcloth，richlyembroideredinyellowworsted，averylargecount’scoronetandacipheratthefourcornersofthecovering；andunderthismightbeseenapairofgorgeoussilverstirrups，andaboveit，acoupleofsilver—mountedpistolsreposinginbearskinholsters；thebitwassilvertoo，andthehorse’sheadwasdecoratedwithmanysmartribbons。OftheCorporal’ssteed，sufficeittosay，thattheornamentswereinbrass，asbright，thoughnotperhapssovaluable，asthosewhichdecoratedtheCaptain’sanimal。Theboys，whohadbeenatplayonthegreen，firstpausedandenteredintoconversationwiththehorse—boy；thenthevillagematronsfollowed；andafterwards，saunteringbyonesandtwos，camethevillagemaidens，wholovesoldiersasflieslovetreacle；presentlythemalesbegantoarrive，andlo！theparsonoftheparish，takinghiseveningwalkwithMrs。
Dobbs，andthefourchildrenhisoffspring，atlengthjoinedhimselftohisflock。
Tothisaudiencethelittleostlerexplainedthattheanimalsbelongedtotwogentlemennowreposingatthe\"Bugle：\"oneyoungwithgoldhair，theotheroldwithgrizzledlocks；bothinredcoats；bothinjack—boots；puttingthehouseintoabustle，andcallingforthebest。Hethendiscoursedtosomeofhisowncompanionsregardingthemeritsofthehorses；andtheparson，alearnedman，explainedtothevillagers，thatoneofthetravellersmustbeacount，oratleasthadacount’shorsecloth；pronouncedthatthestirrupswereofrealsilver，andcheckedtheimpetuosityofhisson，WilliamNassauDobbs，whowasformountingtheanimals，andwhoexpressedalongingtofireoffoneofthepistolsintheholsters。
Asthisfamilydiscussionwastakingplace，thegentlemenwhoseappearancehadcreatedsomuchattentioncametothedooroftheinn，andtheelderandstouterwasseentosmileathiscompanion；
afterwhichhestrolledleisurelyoverthegreen，andseemedtoexaminewithmuchbenevolentsatisfactiontheassemblageofvillagerswhowerestaringathimandthequadrupeds。
Mr。Brock，whenhesawtheparson’sbandandcassock，tookoffhisbeaverreverently，andsalutedthedivine：\"Ihopeyourreverencewon’tbaulkthelittlefellow，\"saidhe；\"IthinkIheardhimcallingoutforaride，andwhetherheshouldlikemyhorse，orhisLordship’shorse，Iamsureitisallone。Don’tbeafraid，sir！
thehorsesarenottired；wehaveonlycomeseventymileto—day，andPrinceEugeneoncerodeamatteroffifty—twoleagues（ahundredandfiftymiles），sir，uponthathorse，betweensunriseandsunset。\"
\"Graciouspowers！onwhichhorse？\"saidDoctorDobbs，verysolemnly。
\"OnTHIS，sir，——onmine，CorporalBrockofCutts’sblackgelding，’WilliamofNassau。’ThePrince，sir，gaveitmeafterBlenheimfight，forIhadmyownlegscarriedawaybyacannon—ball，justasIcutdowntwoofSauerkrauter’sregiment，whohadmadethePrinceprisoner。\"
\"Yourownlegs，sir！\"saidtheDoctor。\"Graciousgoodness！thisismoreandmoreastonishing！\"
\"No，no，notmyownlegs，myhorse’sImean，sir；andthePrincegaveme’WilliamofNassau’thatveryday。\"
Tothisnodirectreplywasmade；buttheDoctorlookedatMrs。
Dobbs，andMrs。Dobbsandtherestofthechildrenathereldestson，whogrinnedandsaid，\"Isn’titwonderful？\"TheCorporaltothisanswerednothing，but，resuminghisaccount，pointedtotheotherhorseandsaid，\"THAThorse，sir——goodasmineis——thathorse，withthesilverstirrups，ishisExcellency’shorse，CaptainCountMaximilianGustavusAdolphusvonGalgenstein，captainofhorseandoftheHolyRomanEmpire\"（heliftedherehishatwithmuchgravity，andallthecrowd，eventotheparson，didlikewise）。\"Wecallhim’GeorgeofDenmark，’sir，incomplimenttoHerMajesty’shusband：
heisBlenheimtoo，sir；MarshalTallardrodehimonthatday，andyouknowhowHEwastakenprisonerbytheCount。\"
\"GeorgeofDenmark，MarshalTallard，WilliamofNassau！thisisstrangeindeed，mostwonderful！Why，sir，littleareyouawarethattherearebeforeyou，ATTHISMOMENT，twootherlivingbeingswhobeartheseveneratednames！Myboys，standforward！Lookhere，sir：thesechildrenhavebeenrespectivelynamedafterourlatesovereignandthehusbandofourpresentQueen。\"
\"Andverygoodnamestoo，sir；ay，andverynoblelittlefellowstoo；andIproposethat，withyourreverenceandyourladyship’sleave，WilliamNassauhereshallrideonGeorgeofDenmark，andGeorgeofDenmarkshallrideonWilliamofNassau。\"
WhenthisspeechoftheCorporal’swasmade，thewholecrowdsetupaloyalhurrah；and，withmuchgravity，thetwolittleboyswereliftedupintothesaddles；andtheCorporalleadingone，entrustedtheothertothehorse—boy，andsotogethermarchedstatelyupanddownthegreen。
ThepopularitywhichMr。Brockgainedbythismanoeuvrewasverygreat；butwithregardtothenamesofthehorsesandchildren，whichcoincidedsoextraordinarily，itisbutfairtostate，thatthechristeningofthequadrupedshadonlytakenplaceabouttwominutesbeforethedragoon’sappearanceonthegreen。Forifthefactmustbeconfessed，he，whileseatedneartheinnwindow，hadkeptaprettywistfuleyeuponallgoingonwithout；andthehorsesmarchingthustoandfroforthewondermentofthevillage，wereonlyplacardsoradvertisementsfortheriders。
Therewas，besidestheboynowoccupiedwiththehorses，andthelandlordandlandladyofthe\"BugleInn，\"anotherpersonconnectedwiththatestablishment——averysmart，handsome，vain，gigglingservant—girl，abouttheageofsixteen，whowentbythefamiliarnameofCat，andattendeduponthegentlemenintheparlour，whilethelandladywasemployedincookingtheirsupperinthekitchen。
Thisyoungpersonhadbeeneducatedinthevillagepoor—house，andhavingbeenpronouncedbyDoctorDobbsandtheschoolmastertheidlest，dirtiest，andmostpassionatelittleminxwithwhomeitherhadeverhadtodo，shewas，afterreceivingaverysmallportionofliteraryinstruction（indeeditmustbestatedthattheyoungladydidnotknowherletters），boundapprenticeattheageofnineyearstoMrs。Score，herrelative，andlandladyofthe\"BugleInn。\"
IfMissCat，orCatherineHall，wasaslatternandaminx，Mrs。
Scorewasafarsuperiorshrew；andforthesevenyearsofherapprenticeshipthegirlwascompletelyathermistress’smercy。Yetthoughwondrouslystingy，jealous，andviolent，whilehermaidwasidleandextravagant，andherhusbandseemedtoabetthegirl，Mrs。
Scoreputupwiththewench’sairs，idleness，andcaprices，withouteverwishingtodismissherfromthe\"Bugle。\"Thefactis，thatMissCatherinewasagreatbeauty，andforabouttwoyears，sinceherfamehadbeguntospread，thecustomoftheinnhadalsoincreasedvastly。Whentherewasadebatewhetherthefarmers，ontheirwayfrommarket，wouldtaket’otherpot，Catherine，byappearingwithit，wouldstraightwaycausetheliquortobeswallowedandpaidfor；andwhenthetravellerwhoproposedridingthatnightandsleepingatCoventryorBirmingham，wasaskedbyMissCatherinewhetherhewouldlikeafireinhisbedroom，hegenerallywasinducedtooccupyit，althoughhemightbeforehavevowedtoMrs。Scorethathewouldnotforathousandguineasbeabsentfromhomethatnight。Thegirlhad，too，half—a—dozenloversinthevillage；andthesewereboundinhonourtospendtheirpenceatthealehousesheinhabited。Owoman，lovelywoman！whatstrongresolvescanstthoutwistroundthylittlefinger！whatgunpowderpassionscanstthoukindlewithasinglesparkleofthineeye！whatliesandfribblenonsensecanstthoumakeuslistento，astheyweregospeltruthorsplendidwit！aboveallwhatbadliquorcanstthoumakeusswallowwhenthouputtestakisswithinthecup——andwearecontenttocallthepoisonwine！
Themountain—wineatthe\"Bugle\"was，infact，execrable；butMrs。
Cat，whoservedittothetwosoldiers，madeitsoagreeabletothem，thattheyfounditapassable，evenapleasanttask，toswallowthecontentsofasecondbottle。Themiraclehadbeenwroughtinstantaneouslyonherappearance：forwhereasatthatverymomenttheCountwasemployedincursingthewine，thelandlady，thewine—grower，andtheEnglishnationgenerally，whentheyoungwomanenteredand（choosingsotointerprettheoaths）said，\"Coming，yourhonour；Ithinkyourhonourcalled\"——GustavusAdolphuswhistled，staredatherveryhard，andseemingquitedumb—strickenbyherappearance，contentedhimselfbyswallowingawholeglassofmountainbywayofreply。
Mr。Brockwas，however，bynomeanssoconfoundedashiscaptain：
hewasthirtyyearsolderthanthelatter，andinthecourseoffiftyyearsofmilitarylifehadlearnedtolookonthemostdangerousenemy，orthemostbeautifulwoman，withthelikedaring，devil—may—caredeterminationtoconquer。
\"MydearMary，\"thensaidthatgentleman，\"hishonourisalord；asgoodasalord，thatis；forallheallowssuchhumblefellowsasI
amtodrinkwithhim。\"
Catherinedroppedalowcurtsey，andsaid，\"Well，Idon’tknowifyouarejokingapoorcountrygirl，asallyousoldiergentlemendo；
buthishonourLOOKSlikealord：thoughIneverseeone，tobesure。\"
\"Then，\"saidtheCaptain，gatheringcourage，\"howdoyouknowIlooklikeone，prettyMary？\"
\"PrettyCatherine：ImeanCatherine，ifyouplease，sir。\"
HereMr。Brockburstintoaroaroflaughter，andshoutingwithmanyoathsthatshewasrightatfirst，invitedhertogivehimwhathecalledabuss。
PrettyCatherineturnedawayfromhimatthisrequest，andmutteredsomethingabout\"Keepyourdistance，lowfellow！bussindeed；poorcountrygirl，\"etc。etc。，placingherself，asifforprotection，onthesideoftheCaptain。Thatgentlemanlookedalsoveryangry；butwhetheratthesightofinnocencesooutraged，ortheinsolenceoftheCorporalfordaringtohelphimselffirst，wecannotsay。\"Harkye，Mr。Brock，\"hecriedveryfiercely，\"Iwillsuffernosuchlibertiesinmypresence：remember，itisonlymycondescensionwhichpermitsyoutosharemybottleinthisway；takecareIdon’tgiveyouinsteadatasteofmycane。\"Sosaying，he，inaprotectingmanner，placedonehandroundMrs。Catherine’swaist，holdingtheotherclenchedveryneartotheCorporal’snose。
Mrs。Catherine，forHERshareofthisactionoftheCount’s，droppedanothercurtseyandsaid，\"Thankyou，myLord。\"ButGalgenstein’sthreatdidnotappeartomakeanyimpressiononMr。
Brock，asindeedtherewasnoreasonthatitshould；fortheCorporal，atacombatoffisticuffs，couldhavepoundedhiscommanderintoajellyintenminutes；sohecontentedhimselfbysaying，\"Well，nobleCaptain，there’snoharmdone；itISanhonourforpooroldPeterBrocktobeattablewithyou，andIAMsorry，sureenough。\"
\"Intruth，Peter，Ibelievethouart；thouhastgoodreason，eh，Peter？Butneverfear，man；hadIstruckthee，Ineverwouldhavehurtthee。\"
\"IKNOWyouwouldnot，\"repliedBrock，layinghishandonhisheartwithmuchgravity；andsopeacewasmade，andhealthsweredrunk。
MissCatherinecondescendedtoputherlipstotheCaptain’sglass；
whosworethatthewinewasthusconvertedintonectar；andalthoughthegirlhadnotpreviouslyheardofthatliquor，shereceivedthecomplimentasacompliment，andsmiledandsimperedinreturn。
Thepoorthinghadneverbeforeseenanybodysohandsome，orsofinelydressedastheCount；and，inthesimplicityofhercoquetry，allowedhersatisfactiontobequitevisible。Nothingcouldbemoreclumsythanthegentleman’smodeofcomplimentingher；butforthis，perhaps，hisspeechesweremoreeffectivethanothersmoredelicatewouldhavebeen；andthoughshesaidtoeach，\"Oh，now，myLord，\"
and\"La，Captain，howcanyouflatteroneso？\"and\"Yourhonour’slaughingatme，\"andmadesuchpolitespeechesasareusedontheseoccasions，itwasmanifestfromtheflutterandblush，andthegrinofsatisfactionwhichlightedupthebuxomfeaturesofthelittlecountrybeauty，thattheCount’sfirstoperationshadbeenhighlysuccessful。Whenfollowinguphisattack，heproducedfromhisneckasmalllocket（whichhadbeengivenhimbyaDutchladyattheBrill），andbeggedMissCatherinetowearitforhissake，andchuckedherunderthechinandcalledherhislittlerosebud，itwasprettyclearhowthingswouldgo：anybodywhocouldseetheexpressionofMr。Brock’scountenanceatthiseventmightjudgeoftheprogressoftheirresistibleHigh—Dutchconqueror。
Beingofaveryvaincommunicativeturn，ourfairbarmaidgavehertwocompanions，notonlyaprettylongaccountofherself，butofmanyotherpersonsinthevillage，whomshecouldperceivefromthewindowoppositetowhichshestood。\"Yes，yourhonour，\"saidshe——
\"myLord，Imean；sixteenlastMarch，thoughthere’samanygirlinthevillagethatatmyageisquitechits。There’sPollyRandallnow，thatred—hairedgirlalongwithThomasCurtis：she’sseventeenifshe’saday，thoughheistheveryfirstsweetheartshehashad。
Well，asIamsaying，Iwasbreduphereinthevillage——fatherandmotherdiedveryyoung，andIwasleftapoororphan——well，blessus！ifThomashaven’tkissedher！——tothecareofMrs。Score，myaunt，whohasbeenamothertome——astepmother，youknow；——andI’vebeentoStratfordfair，andtoWarwickmanyatime；andthere’stwopeoplewhohaveofferedtomarryme，andeversomanywhowantto，andIwon’thavenone——onlyagentleman，asI’vealwayssaid；notapoorclodpole，likeTomtherewiththeredwaistcoat（hewasonethataskedme），noradrunkenfellowlikeSamBlacksmithyonder，himwhosewifehasgottheblackeye，butarealgentleman，like——\"
\"Likewhom，mydear？\"saidtheCaptain，encouraged。
\"La，sir，howcanyou？Why，likeoursquire，SirJohn，whoridesinsuchamortalfinegoldcoach；or，atleast，liketheparson，DoctorDobbs——that’she，intheblackgown，walkingwithMadamDobbsinred。\"
\"Andarethosehischildren？\"
\"Yes：twogirlsandtwoboys；andonlythink，hecallsoneWilliamNassau，andoneGeorgeDenmark——isn’titodd？\"Andfromtheparson，Mrs。Catherinewentontospeakofseveralhumblepersonagesofthevillagecommunity，who，astheyarenotnecessarytoourstory，neednotbedescribedatfulllength。Itwaswhen，fromthewindow，CorporalBrocksawthealtercationbetweentheworthydivineandhisson，respectingthelatter’sride，thathejudgeditafittingtimetostepoutonthegreen，andtobestowonthetwohorsesthosefamoushistoricalnameswhichwehavejustheardappliedtothem。
Mr。Brock’sdiplomacywas，aswehavestated，quitesuccessful；for，whentheparson’sboyshadriddenandretiredalongwiththeirmammaandpapa，otheryounggentlemenofhumblerrankinthevillagewereplacedupon\"GeorgeofDenmark\"and\"WilliamofNassau；\"theCorporaljokingandlaughingwithallthegrown—uppeople。Thewomen，inspiteofMr。Brock’sage，hisrednose，andacertainsquintofhiseye，vowedtheCorporalwasajewelofaman；andamongthemenhispopularitywasequallygreat。
\"Howmuchdosttheeget，ThomasClodpole？\"saidMr。Brocktoacountryman（hewasthemanwhomMrs。Catherinehaddescribedashersuitor），whohadlaughedloudestatsomeofhisjokes：\"howmuchdosttheegetforaweek’swork，now？\"
Mr。Clodpole，whosenamewasreallyBullock，statedthathiswagesamountedto\"threeshillingsandapuddn。\"
\"Threeshillingsandapuddn！——monstrous！——andforthisyoutoillikeagalley—slave，asIhaveseentheminTurkeyandAmerica，——ay，gentlemen，andinthecountryofPresterJohn！Youshiveroutofbedonicywintermornings，tobreaktheiceforBallandDappletodrink。\"
\"Yes，indeed，\"saidthepersonaddressed，whoseemedastoundedattheextentoftheCorporal’sinformation。
\"Oryoucleanpigsty，andtakedungdowntomeadow；oryouactwatchdogandtendsheep；oryousweepascytheoveragreatfieldofgrass；andwhenthesunhasscorchedtheeyesoutofyourhead，andsweatedthefleshoffyourbones，andwell—nighfriedthesouloutofyourbody，yougohome，towhat？——threeshillingsaweekandapuddn！Doyougetpuddingeveryday？\"
\"No；onlySundays。\"
\"Doyougetmoneyenough？\"
\"No，sure。\"
\"Doyougetbeerenough？\"
\"Ohno，NEVER！\"saidMr。Bullockquiteresolutely。
\"WorthyClodpole，giveusthyhand：itshallhavebeerenoughthisday，ormyname’snotCorporalBrock。Here’sthemoney，boy！therearetwentypiecesinthispurse：andhowdoyouthinkIgot’em？
andhowdoyouthinkIshallgetotherswhenthesearegone？——byservingHerSacredMajesty，tobesure：longlifetoher，anddownwiththeFrenchKing！\"
Bullock，afewofthemen，andtwoorthreeoftheboys，pipedoutanhurrah，incomplimenttothisspeechoftheCorporal’s：butitwasremarkedthatthegreaterpartofthecrowddrewback——thewomenwhisperingominouslytothemandlookingattheCorporal。
\"Isee，ladies，whatitis，\"saidhe。\"Youarefrightened，andthinkIamacrimpcometostealyoursweetheartsaway。What！callPeterBrockadouble—dealer？Itellyouwhat，boys，JackChurchillhimselfhasshakenthishand，anddrunkapotwithme：doyouthinkhe’dshakehandswitharogue？Here’sTummasClodpolehasneverhadbeerenough，andhereamIwillstandtreattohimandanyothergentleman：amIgoodenoughcompanyforhim？Ihavemoney，lookyou，andliketospendit：whatshould_I_bedoingdirtyactionsfor——hay，Tummas？\"
Asatisfactoryreplytothisquerywasnot，ofcourse，expectedbytheCorporalnorutteredbyMr。Bullock；andtheendofthedisputewas，thatheandthreeorfouroftherusticbystanderswerequiteconvincedofthegoodintentionsoftheirnewfriend，andaccompaniedhimbacktothe\"Bugle，\"toregaleuponthepromisedbeer。AmongtheCorporal’sguestswasoneyoungfellowwhosedresswouldshowthathewassomewhatbettertodointheworldthanClodpoleandtherestofthesunburntraggedtroop，whoweremarchingtowardsthealehouse。Thismanwastheonlyoneofhishearerswho，perhaps，wasscepticalastothetruthofhisstories；
butassoonasBullockacceptedtheinvitationtodrink，JohnHayes，thecarpenter（forsuchwashisnameandprofession），said，\"Well，Thomas，ifthougoest，Iwillgotoo。\"
\"Iknowtheewilt，\"saidThomas：\"thou’ltgooanywhereCattyHallis，providedthoucanstgoofornothing。\"
\"Nay，IhaveapennytospendasgoodastheCorporalhere。\"
\"ApennytoKEEP，youmean：forallyourloveforthelassatthe’Bugle，’didtheeeverspendashillinginthehouse？Theewouldn’tgonow，butthatIamgoingtoo，andtheCaptainherestandstreat。\"
\"Come，come，gentlemen，noquarrelling，\"saidMr。Brock。\"Ifthisprettyfellowwilljoinus，amensayI：there’slotsofliquor，andplentyofmoneytopaythescore。ComradeTummas，giveusthyarm。
Mr。Hayes，you’reaheartycock，Imakenodoubt，andallsucharewelcome。Comealong，mygentlemanfarmers，Mr。Brockshallhavethehonourtopayforyouall。\"Andwiththis，CorporalBrock，accompaniedbyMessrs。Hayes，Bullock，Blacksmith，Baker’s—boy，Butcher，andoneortwoothers，adjournedtotheinn；thehorsesbeing，atthesametime，conductedtothestable。
Althoughwehave，inthisquietway，andwithoutanyflourishingoftrumpets，orbeginningofchapters，introducedMr。Hayestothepublic；andalthough，atfirstsight，asneakingcarpenter’sboymayseemhardlyworthyofthenoticeofanintelligentreader，wholooksforagoodcut—throatorhighwaymanforahero，orapickpocketattheveryleast：thisgentleman’swordsandactionsshouldbecarefullystudiedbythepublic，asheisdestinedtoappearbeforethemunderverypoliteandcuriouscircumstancesduringthecourseofthishistory。ThespeechoftherusticJuvenal，Mr。Clodpole，hadseemedtoinferthatHayeswasatoncecarefulofhismoneyandawarmadmirerofMrs。Catherineofthe\"Bugle：\"andboththechargeswereperfectlytrue。Hayes’sfatherwasreportedtobeamanofsomesubstance；andyoungJohn，whowasperforminghisapprenticeshipinthevillage，didnotfailtotalkverybigofhispretensionstofortune——ofhisentering，atthecloseofhisindentures，intopartnershipwithhisfather——andofthecomfortablefarmandhouseoverwhichMrs。JohnHayes，whoevershemightbe，wouldonedaypreside。Thus，nexttothebarberandbutcher，andaboveevenhisownmaster，Mr。Hayestookrankinthevillage：anditmustnotbeconcealedthathisrepresentationofwealthhadmadesomeimpressionuponMrs。Halltowardwhomtheyounggentlemanhadcasttheeyesofaffection。Ifhehadbeentolerablywell—looking，andnotpale，rickety，andfeebleashewas；ifevenhehadbeenugly，butwithalamanofspirit，itisprobablethegirl’skindnessforhimwouldhavebeenmuchmoredecided。Buthewasapoorweakcreature，nottocomparewithhonestThomasBullock，byatleastnineinches；andsonotoriouslytimid，selfish，andstingy，thattherewasakindofshameinreceivinghisaddressesopenly；andwhatencouragementMrs。Catherinegavehimcouldonlybeinsecret。
Butnomortaliswiseatalltimes：andthefactwas，thatHayes，whocaredforhimselfintensely，hadsethisheartuponwinningCatherine；andlovedherwithadesperategreedyeagernessanddesireofpossession，whichmakespassionsforwomenoftensofierceandunreasonableamongverycoldandselfishmen。Hisparents（whosefrugalityhehadinherited）hadtriedinvaintoweanhimfromthispassion，andhadmademanyfruitlessattemptstoengagehimwithwomenwhopossessedmoneyanddesiredhusbands；butHayeswas，forawonder，quiteproofagainsttheirattractions；and，thoughquitereadytoacknowledgetheabsurdityofhisloveforapennilessalehouseservant—girl，neverthelesspersistedinitdoggedly。\"IknowI’mafool，\"saidhe；\"andwhat’smore，thegirldoesnotcareforme；butmarryherImust，orIthinkIshalljustdie：andmarryherIwill。\"ForverymuchtothecreditofMissCatherine’smodesty，shehaddeclaredthatmarriagewaswithherasinequanon，andhaddismissed，withtheloudestscornandindignation，allpropositionsofalesspropernature。
PoorThomasBullockwasanotherofheradmirers，andhadofferedtomarryher；butthreeshillingsaweekandapuddnwasnottothegirl’staste，andThomashadbeenscornfullyrejected。Hayeshadalsomadeheradirectproposal。Catherinedidnotsayno：shewastooprudent：butshewasyoungandcouldwait；shedidnotcareforMr。Hayesyetenoughtomarryhim——（itdidnotseem，indeed，intheyoungwoman’snaturetocareforanybody）——andshegaveheradorerflatteringlytounderstandthat，ifnobodybetterappearedinthecourseofafewyears，shemightbeinducedtobecomeMrs。Hayes。
ItwasadismalprospectforthepoorfellowtoliveuponthehopeofbeingonedayMrs。Catherine’spis—aller。
Inthemeantimesheconsideredherselffreeasthewind，andpermittedherselfalltheinnocentgaietieswhichthat\"charteredlibertine，\"acoquette，cantake。Sheflirtedwithallthebachelors，widowers，andmarriedmen，inamannerwhichdidextraordinarycredittoheryears：andletnotthereaderfancysuchpastimesunnaturalatherearlyage。Theladies——Heavenblessthem！——are，asageneralrule，coquettesfrombabyhoodupwards。
LittleSHE’Softhreeyearsoldplaylittleairsandgracesuponsmallheroesoffive；simperingmissesofninemakeattacksuponyounggentlemenoftwelve；andatsixteen，awell—growngirl，underencouragingcircumstances——say，sheispretty，inafamilyofuglyeldersisters，oranonlychildandheiress，orahumblewenchatacountryinn，likeourfairCatherine——isattheverypinkandprimeofhercoquetry：theywilljiltyouatthatagewithaneaseandarchinfantinesimplicitythatnevercanbesurpassedinmatureryears。
MissCatherine，then，wasafranchecoquette，andMr。JohnHayeswasmiserable。Hislifewaspassedinastormofmeanpassionsandbitterjealousies，anddesperateattacksupontheindifference—rockofMrs。Catherine’sheart，whichnotallhistempestoflovecouldbeatdown。Ocruelcruelpangsofloveunrequited！Meanroguesfeelthemaswellasgreatheroes。LivestherethemaninEuropewhohasnotfeltthemmanytimes？——whohasnotknelt，andfawned，andsupplicated，andwept，andcursed，andraved，allinvain；andpassedlongwakefulnightswithghostsofdeadhopesforcompany；
shadowsofburiedremembrancesthatglideoutoftheirgravesofnights，andwhisper，\"Wearedeadnow，butweWEREonce；andwemadeyouhappy，andwecomenowtomockyou：——despair，Olover，despair，anddie\"？——Ocruelpangs！——dismalnights！——Nowaslydemoncreepsunderyournightcap，anddropsintoyourearthosesofthope—breathingsweetwords，utteredonthewell—rememberedevening：
there，inthedrawerofyourdressing—table（alongwiththerazors，andMacassaroil），liesthedeadflowerthatLadyAmeliaWilhelminaworeinherbosomonthenightofacertainball——thecorpseofaglorioushopethatseemedonceasifitwouldliveforever，sostrongwasit，sofullofjoyandsunshine：there，inyourwriting—desk，amongacrowdofunpaidbills，isthedirtyscrapofpaper，thimble—sealed，whichcameincompanywithapairofmuffeteesofherknitting（shewasabutcher’sdaughter，anddidallshecould，poorthing！），begging\"youwouldwarethematcollidge，andthinkofherwho\"——marriedapublic—housethreeweeksafterwards，andcaresforyounomorenowthanshedoesforthepot—boy。Butwhymultiplyinstances，orseektodepicttheagonyofpoormean—spiritedJohnHayes？Nomistakecanbegreaterthanthatoffancyingsuchgreatemotionsofloveareonlyfeltbyvirtuousorexaltedmen：dependuponit，Love，likeDeath，playshavocamongthepauperumtabernas，andsportswithrichandpoor，wickedandvirtuous，alike。Ihaveoftenfancied，forinstance，onseeingthehaggardpaleyoungold—clothesman，whowakestheechoesofourstreetwithhisnasalcryof\"Clo’！\"——Ihaveoften，Isaid，fanciedthat，besidestheloadofexuvialcoatsandbreechesunderwhichhestaggers，thereisanotherweightonhim——anatriorcuraathistail——andwhilehisunshornlipsandnosetogetherareperformingthatmocking，boisterous，Jack—indifferentcryof\"Clo’，clo’！\"whoknowswhatwoefulutterancesarecryingfromtheheartwithin？
Thereheis，chafferingwiththefootmanatNo。7aboutanolddressing—gown：youthinkhiswholesoulisbentonlyonthecontestaboutthegarment。Psha！thereis，perhaps，somefaithlessgirlinHolywellStreetwhofillsuphisheart；andthatdesultoryJew—boyisaperipatetichell！Takeanotherinstance：——takethemaninthebeef—shopinSaintMartin’sCourt。Thereheis，toallappearancesquitecalm：beforethesameroundofbeef——frommorningtillsundown——forhundredsofyearsverylikely。Perhapswhentheshuttersareclosed，andalltheworldtiredandsilent，thereisHE
silent，butuntired——cutting，cutting，cutting。Youenter，yougetyourmeattoyourliking，youdepart；and，quiteunmoved，on，onhegoes，reapingceaselesslytheGreatHarvestofBeef。YouwouldfancythatifPassioneverfailedtoconquer，ithadinvainassailedthecalmbosomofTHATMAN。Idoubtit，andwouldgivemuchtoknowhishistory。
WhoknowswhatfuriousAetna—flamesareragingunderneaththesurfaceofthatcalmflesh—mountain——whocantellmethatthatcalmnessitselfisnotDESPAIR？
***
Thereader，ifhedoesnotnowunderstandwhyitwasthatMr。HayesagreedtodrinktheCorporal’sprofferedbeer，hadbetterjustreadtheforegoingremarksoveragain，andifhedoesnotunderstandTHEN，why，smallpraisetohisbrains。HayescouldnotbearthatMr。Bullockshouldhaveachanceofseeing，andperhapsmakinglovetoMrs。Catherineinhisabsence；andthoughtheyoungwomanneverdiminishedhercoquetries，but，onthecontrary，ratherincreasedtheminhispresence，itwasstillakindofdismalsatisfactiontobemiserableinhercompany。
Onthisoccasion，thedisconsolatelovercouldbewretchedtohisheart’scontent；forCatherinehadnotawordoralookforhim，butbestowedallhersmilesuponthehandsomestrangerwhoownedtheblackhorse。AsforpoorTummasBullock，hispassionwasneverviolent；andhewascontentinthepresentinstancetosighanddrinkbeer。Hesighedanddrank，sighedanddrank，anddrankagain，untilhehadswallowedsomuchoftheCorporal’sliquor，astobeinducedtoacceptaguineafromhispursealso；andfoundhimself，onreturningtoreasonandsobriety，asoldierofQueenAnne’s。
Butoh！fancytheagoniesofMr。Hayeswhen，seatedwiththeCorporal’sfriendsatoneendofthekitchen，hesawtheCaptainattheplaceofhonour，andthesmileswhichthefairmaidbestoweduponhim；when，asshelightlywhiskedpasthimwiththeCaptain’ssupper，she，pointingtothelocketthatoncereposedonthebreastoftheDutchladyattheBrill，lookedarchlyonHayesandsaid，\"See，John，whathisLordshiphasgivenme；\"andwhenJohn’sfacebecamegreenandpurplewithrageandjealousy，Mrs。Catherinelaughedtentimeslouder，andcried\"Coming，myLord，\"inavoiceofshrilltriumph，thatboredthroughthesoulofMr。JohnHayesandlefthimgaspingforbreath。
OnCatherine’sotherlover，Mr。Thomas，thiscoquetryhadnoeffect：
he，andtwocomradesofhis，hadbythistimequitefallenunderthespelloftheCorporal；andhope，glory，strongbeer，PrinceEugene，pairofcolours，morestrongbeer，herblessedMajesty，plentymorestrongbeer，andsuchsubjects，martialandbacchic，whirledthroughtheirdizzybrainsatarailroadpace。
Andnow，iftherehadbeenacoupleofexperiencedreporterspresentatthe\"BugleInn，\"theymighthavetakendownaconversationonloveandwar——thetwothemesdiscussedbythetwopartiesoccupyingthekitchen——which，asthepartsweresungtogether，duetwise，formedtogethersomeverycuriousharmonies。Thus，whiletheCaptainwaswhisperingthesoftestnothings，theCorporalwasshoutingthefiercestcombatsofthewar；and，likethegentlemanatPenelope’stable，onitexiguopinxitpraeliatotabero。Forexample：
CAPTAIN。Whatdoyousaytoasilvertrimming，prettyCatherine？
Don’tyouthinkascarletriding—cloak，handsomelylaced，wouldbecomeyouwonderfullywell？——andagreyhatwithabluefeather——
andaprettynagtorideon——andallthesoldierstopresentarmsasyoupass，andsay，\"TheregoestheCaptain’slady\"？Whatdoyouthinkofaside—boxatLincoln’sInnplayhouse，orofstandinguptoaminuetwithmyLordMarquisat——？
CORPORAL。Theball，sir，ranrightuphiselbow，andwasfoundthenextdaybySurgeonSplinterofours，——wheredoyouthink，sir？——
uponmyhonourasagentlemanitcameoutofthenapeofhis——
CAPTAIN。Necklace——andasweetpairofdiamondearrings，mayhap——andalittleshowerofpatches，whichornamentalady’sfacewondrously——andaleetlerouge——though，egad！suchpeach—cheeksasyoursdon’twantit；——fie！Mrs。Catherine，Ishouldthinkthebirdsmustcomeandpeckatthemasiftheywerefruit——
CORPORAL。Overthewall；andthree—and—twentyofourfellowsjumpedafterme。BythePopeofRome，friendTummas，thatwasaday！——HadyouseenhowtheMounseerslookedwhenfour—and—twentyrampaginghe—devils，swordandpistol，cutandthrust，pell—mellcametumblingintotheredoubt！Why，sir，weleftinthreeminutesasmanyartillerymen’sheadsastherewerecannon—balls。Itwas，\"Ahsacre！\"\"D—————you，takethat！\"\"OmonDieu！\"\"Runhimthrough！\"
\"Ventrebleu！\"anditWASventrebleuwithhim，Iwarrantyou；forbleu，intheFrenchlanguage，means\"through；\"andventre——why，yousee，ventremeans——
CAPTAIN。Waists，whicharewornnowexcessivelong；andforthehoops，ifyouCOULDbutseethem——stapmyvitals，mydear，buttherewasaladyatWarwick’sAssembly（shecameinoneofmyLord’scoaches）whohadahoopasbigasatent：youmighthavedinedunderitcomfortably；——ha！ha！’ponmyfaith，now——
CORPORAL。AndtherewefoundtheDukeofMarlboroughseatedalongwithMarshalTallard，whowasendeavouringtodrownhissorrowoveracupofJohannisbergerwine；andagooddrinktoo，mylads，onlynottocomparetoWarwickbeer。\"Whowasthemanwhohasdonethis？\"saidournobleGeneral。Isteppedup。\"Howmanyheadswasit，\"sayshe，\"thatyoucutoff？\"\"Nineteen，\"saysI，\"besideswoundingseveral。\"Whenheheardit（Mr。Hayes，youdon’tdrink）I’mblestifhedidn’tburstintotears！\"Noblenoblefellow，\"sayshe。
\"Marshal，youmustexcusemeifIampleasedtohearofthedestructionofyourcountrymen。Noblenoblefellow！——here’sahundredguineasforyou。\"Whichsumheplacedinmyhand。\"Nay，\"
saystheMarshal\"themanhasdonehisduty：\"and，pullingoutamagnificentgolddiamond—hiltedsnuff—box，hegaveme——
MR。BULLOCK。What，agooldsnuff—box？Wauns，buttheeWASTinluck，Corporal！
CORPORAL。No，notthesnuff—box，but——APINCHOFSNUFF，——ha！
ha！——runmethroughthebodyifhedidn’t。CouldyoubuthaveseenthesmileonJackChurchill’sgravefaceatthispieceofgenerosity！So，beckoningColonelCadoganuptohim，hepinchedhisEarandwhispered——
CAPTAIN。\"MayIhavethehonourtodanceaminuetwithyourLadyship？\"ThewholeroomwasintittersatJack’sblunder；for，asyouknowverywell，poorLadySusanHASAWOODENLEG。Ha！ha！fancyaminuetandawoodenleg，hey，mydear？——
MRS。CATHERINE。Giggle——giggle——giggle：he！he！he！Oh，Captain，yourogue，you——
SECONDTABLE。Haw！haw！haw！Wellyoubeafoonymon，Sergeant，zureenoff。
***
Thislittlespecimenoftheconversationmustbesufficient。ItwillshowprettyclearlythatEACHofthetwomilitarycommanderswasconductinghisoperationswithperfectsuccess。ThreeofthedetachmentoffiveattackedbytheCorporalsurrenderedtohim：Mr。
Bullock，namely，whogaveinataveryearlystageoftheevening，andignominiouslylaiddownhisarmsunderthetable，afterstandingnotmorethanadozenvolleysofbeer；Mr。Blacksmith’sboy，andalabourerwhosenamewehavenotbeenabletolearn。Mr。Butcherhimselfwasonthepointofyielding，whenhewasrescuedbythefuriouschargeofadetachmentthatmarchedtohisrelief：hiswifenamely，who，withtwosquallingchildren，rushedintothe\"Bugle，\"
boxedButcher’sears，andkeptupsuchatremendousfireofoathsandscreamsupontheCorporal，thathewasobligedtoretreat。
FixingthenherclawsintoMr。Butcher’shair，sheproceededtodraghimoutofthepremises；andthusMr。Brockwasovercome。HisattackuponJohnHayeswasastillgreaterfailure；forthatyoungmanseemedtobeinvinciblebydrink，ifnotbylove：andattheendofthedrinking—boutwasagreatdealmorecoolthantheCorporalhimself；towhomhewishedaverypolitegood—evening，ascalmlyhetookhishattodepart。HeturnedtolookatCatherine，tobesure，andthenhewasnotquitesocalm：butCatherinedidnotgiveanyreplytohisgood—night。ShewasseatedattheCaptain’stableplayingatcribbagewithhim；andthoughCountGustavusMaximilianlosteverygame，hewonmorethanhelost，——slyfellow！——andMrs。Catherinewasnomatchforhim。
ItistobepresumedthatHayesgavesomeinformationtoMrs。Score，thelandlady：for，onleavingthekitchen，hewasseentolingerforamomentinthebar；andverysoonafterMrs。CatherinewascalledawayfromherattendanceontheCount，who，whenheaskedforasackandtoast，wasfurnishedwiththosearticlesbythelandladyherself：and，duringthehalf—hourinwhichhewasemployedinconsumingthisdrink，MonsieurdeGalgensteinlookedverymuchdisturbedandoutofhumour，andcasthiseyestothedoorperpetually；butnoCatherinecame。Atlast，verysulkily，hedesiredtobeshowntobed，andwalkedaswellashecould（for，tosaytruth，thenobleCountwasbythistimesomewhatunsteadyonhislegs）tohischamber。ItwasMrs。Scorewhoshowedhimtoit，andclosedthecurtains，andpointedtriumphantlytothewhitenessofthesheets。
\"It’saverycomfortableroom，\"saidshe，\"thoughnotthebestinthehouse；whichbelongofrighttoyourLordship’sworship；butourbestroomhastwobeds，andMr。Corporalisinthat，lockedanddouble—locked，withhisthreetipsyrecruits。Butyourhonourwillfindthisherebedcomfortableandwell—aired；I’vesleptinitmyselfthiseighteenyears。\"
\"What，mygoodwoman，youaregoingtositup，eh？It’scruelhardonyou，madam。\"
\"Situp，myLord？blessyou，no！IshallhavehalfofourCat’sbed；asIalwaysdowhenthere’scompany。\"AndwiththisMrs。Scorecurtseyedandretired。
VeryearlythenextmorningtheactivelandladyandherbustlingattendanthadpreparedthealeandbaconfortheCorporalandhisthreeconverts，andhadsetanicewhiteclothfortheCaptain’sbreakfast。Theyoungblacksmithdidnoteatwithmuchsatisfaction；
butMr。Bullockandhisfriendbetrayednosignofdiscontent，exceptsuchasmaybeconsequentuponanevening’scarouse。TheywalkedverycontentedlytoberegisteredbeforeDoctorDobbs，whowasalsojusticeofthepeace，andwentinsearchoftheirslenderbundles，andtookleaveoftheirfewacquaintanceswithoutmuchregret：forthegentlemenhadbeenbredintheworkhouse，andhadnot，therefore，alargecircleoffriends。
Itwantedonlyanhourofnoon，andthenobleCounthadnotdescended。Themenwerewaitingforhim，andspentmuchoftheQueen’smoney（earnedbythesaleoftheirbodiesovernight）whilethusexpectinghim。PerhapsMrs。Catherineexpectedhimtoo，forshehadofferedmanytimestorunup——withmyLord’sboots——withthehotwater——toshowMr。Brocktheway；whosometimescondescendedtoofficiateasbarber。ButonalltheseoccasionsMrs。Scorehadpreventedher；notscolding，butwithmuchgentlenessandsmiling。