第2章
加入书架 A- A+
点击下载App,搜索"Master Humphrey’s Clock",免费读到尾

  Meantimewehavegoneonstrengtheninginourfriendshipandregardandforminganattachmentwhich,Itrustandbelieve,willonlybeinterruptedbydeath,toberenewedinanotherexistence。I

  scarcelyknowhowwecommunicateaswedo;buthehaslongsinceceasedtobedeaftome。Heisfrequentlymycompanioninmywalks,andevenincrowdedstreetsrepliestomyslightestlookorgesture,asthoughhecouldreadmythoughts。Fromthevastnumberofobjectswhichpassinrapidsuccessionbeforeoureyes,wefrequentlyselectthesameforsomeparticularnoticeorremark;

  andwhenoneoftheselittlecoincidencesoccurs,Icannotdescribethepleasurewhichanimatesmyfriend,orthebeamingcountenancehewillpreserveforhalf—an—hourafterwardsatleast。

  Heisagreatthinkerfromlivingsomuchwithinhimself,and,havingalivelyimagination,hasafacilityofconceivingandenlarginguponoddideas,whichrendershiminvaluabletoourlittlebody,andgreatlyastonishesourtwofriends。Hispowersinthisrespectaremuchassistedbyalargepipe,whichheassuresusoncebelongedtoaGermanStudent。Bethisasitmay,ithasundoubtedlyaveryancientandmysteriousappearance,andisofsuchcapacitythatittakesthreehoursandahalftosmokeitout。

  Ihavereasontobelievethatmybarber,whoisthechiefauthorityofaknotofgossips,whocongregateeveryeveningatasmalltobacconist’shardby,hasrelatedanecdotesofthispipeandthegrimfiguresthatarecarveduponitsbowl,atwhichallthesmokersintheneighbourhoodhavestoodaghast;andIknowthatmyhousekeeper,whilesheholdsitinhighveneration,hasasuperstitiousfeelingconnectedwithitwhichwouldrenderherexceedinglyunwillingtobeleftaloneinitscompanyafterdark。

  Whateversorrowmydearfriendhasknown,andwhatevergriefmaylingerinsomesecretcornerofhisheart,heisnowacheerful,placid,happycreature。Misfortunecanneverhavefallenuponsuchamanbutforsomegoodpurpose;andwhenIseeitstracesinhisgentlenatureandhisearnestfeeling,IamthelessdisposedtomurmuratsuchtrialsasImayhaveundergonemyself。Withregardtothepipe,Ihaveatheoryofmyown;Icannothelpthinkingthatitisinsomemannerconnectedwiththeeventthatbroughtustogether;forIrememberthatitwasalongtimebeforeheeventalkedaboutit;thatwhenhedid,hegrewreservedandmelancholy;

  andthatitwasalongtimeyetbeforehebroughtitforth。Ihavenocuriosity,however,uponthissubject;forIknowthatitpromoteshistranquillityandcomfort,andIneednootherinducementtoregarditwithmyutmostfavour。

  Suchisthedeafgentleman。Icancalluphisfigurenow,cladinsobergray,andseatedinthechimney—corner。Ashepuffsoutthesmokefromhisfavouritepipe,hecastsalookonmebrimfulofcordialityandfriendship,andsaysallmannerofkindandgenialthingsinacheerfulsmile;thenheraiseshiseyestomyclock,whichisjustabouttostrike,and,glancingfromittomeandbackagain,seemstodividehisheartbetweenus。Formyself,itisnottoomuchtosaythatIwouldgladlypartwithoneofmypoorlimbs,couldhebutheartheoldclock’svoice。

  Ofourtwofriends,thefirsthasbeenallhislifeoneofthateasy,wayward,truantclasswhomtheworldisaccustomedtodesignateasnobody’senemiesbuttheirown。Bredtoaprofessionforwhichheneverqualifiedhimself,andrearedintheexpectationofafortunehehasneverinherited,hehasundergoneeveryvicissitudeofwhichsuchanexistenceiscapable。Heandhisyoungerbrother,bothorphansfromtheirchildhood,wereeducatedbyawealthyrelative,whotaughtthemtoexpectanequaldivisionofhisproperty;buttooindolenttocourt,andtoohonesttoflatter,theeldergraduallylostgroundintheaffectionsofacapriciousoldman,andtheyounger,whodidnotfailtoimprovehisopportunity,nowtriumphsinthepossessionofenormouswealth。

  Histriumphistohoarditinsolitarywretchedness,andprobablytofeelwiththeexpenditureofeveryshillingagreaterpangthanthelossofhiswholeinheritanceevercosthisbrother。

  JackRedburn—hewasJackRedburnatthefirstlittleschoolhewentto,whereeveryotherchildwasmasteredandsurnamed,andhehasbeenJackRedburnallhislife,orhewouldperhapshavebeenarichermanbythistime—hasbeenaninmateofmyhousetheseeightyearspast。Heismylibrarian,secretary,steward,andfirstminister;directorofallmyaffairs,andinspector—generalofmyhousehold。Heissomethingofamusician,somethingofanauthor,somethingofanactor,somethingofapainter,verymuchofacarpenter,andanextraordinarygardener,havinghadallhislifeawonderfulaptitudeforlearningeverythingthatwasofnousetohim。Heisremarkablyfondofchildren,andisthebestandkindestnurseinsicknessthateverdrewthebreathoflife。Hehasmixedwitheverygradeofsociety,andknowntheutmostdistress;butthereneverwasalessselfish,amoretender—

  hearted,amoreenthusiastic,oramoreguilelessman;andIdaresay,iffewhavedonelessgood,fewerstillhavedonelessharmintheworldthanhe。BywhatchanceNatureformssuchwhimsicaljumblesIdon’tknow;butIdoknowthatshesendsthemamongusveryoften,andthatthekingofthewholeraceisJackRedburn。

  Ishouldbepuzzledtosayhowoldheis。Hishealthisnoneofthebest,andhewearsaquantityofiron—grayhair,whichshadeshisfaceandgivesitratherawornappearance;butweconsiderhimquiteayoungfellownotwithstanding;andifayouthfulspirit,survivingtheroughestcontactwiththeworld,confersuponitspossessoranytitletobeconsideredyoung,thenheisamerechild。TheonlyinterruptionstohiscarelesscheerfulnessareonawetSunday,whenheisapttobeunusuallyreligiousandsolemn,andsometimesofanevening,whenhehasbeenblowingaveryslowtuneontheflute。Ontheselast—namedoccasionsheisapttoinclinetowardsthemysterious,ortheterrible。Asaspecimenofhispowersinthismood,Irefermyreaderstotheextractfromtheclock—casewhichfollowsthispaper:hebroughtittomenotlongagoatmidnight,andinformedmethatthemainincidenthadbeensuggestedbyadreamofthenightbefore。

  Hisapartmentsaretwocheerfulroomslookingtowardsthegarden,andoneofhisgreatdelightsistoarrangeandrearrangethefurnitureinthesechambers,andputitineverypossiblevarietyofposition。Duringthewholetimehehasbeenhere,Idonotthinkhehassleptfortwonightsrunningwiththeheadofhisbedinthesameplace;andeverytimehemovesit,istobethelast。

  Myhousekeeperwasatfirstwell—nighdistractedbythesefrequentchanges;butshehasbecomequitereconciledtothembydegrees,andhassofalleninwithhishumour,thattheyoftenconsulttogetherwithgreatgravityuponthenextfinalalteration。

  Whateverhisarrangementsare,however,theyarealwaysapatternofneatness;andeveryoneofthemanifoldarticlesconnectedwithhismanifoldoccupationsistobefoundinitsownparticularplace。Untilwithinthelasttwoorthreeyearshewassubjecttoanoccasionalfit(whichusuallycameuponhiminveryfineweather),undertheinfluenceofwhichhewoulddresshimselfwithpeculiarcare,and,goingoutunderpretenceoftakingawalk,disappearedforseveraldaystogether。Atlength,aftertheintervalbetweeneachoutbreakofthisdisorderhadgraduallygrownlongerandlonger,itwhollydisappeared;andnowheseldomstirsabroad,excepttostrolloutalittlewayonasummer’sevening。

  Whetherheyetmistrustshisownconstancyinthisrespect,andisthereforeafraidtowearacoat,Iknownot;butweseldomseehiminanyotheruppergarmentthananoldspectral—lookingdressing—

  gown,withverydisproportionatepockets,fullofamiscellaneouscollectionofoddmatters,whichhepicksupwhereverhecanlayhishandsuponthem。

  Everythingthatisafavouritewithourfriendisafavouritewithus;andthusithappensthatthefourthamongusisMr。OwenMiles,amostworthygentleman,whohadtreatedJackwithgreatkindnessbeforemydeaffriendandIencounteredhimbyanaccident,towhichImayreferonsomefutureoccasion。Mr。Mileswasonceaveryrichmerchant;butreceivingasevereshockinthedeathofhiswife,heretiredfrombusiness,anddevotedhimselftoaquiet,unostentatiouslife。Heisanexcellentman,ofthoroughlysterlingcharacter:notofquickapprehension,andnotwithoutsomeamusingprejudices,whichIshallleavetotheirowndevelopment。Heholdsusallinprofoundveneration;butJackRedburnheesteemsasakindofpleasantwonder,thathemayventuretoapproachfamiliarly。Hebelieves,notonlythatnomaneverlivedwhocoulddosomanythingsasJack,butthatnomaneverlivedwhocoulddoanythingsowell;andhenevercallsmyattentiontoanyofhisingeniousproceedings,buthewhispersinmyear,nudgingmeatthesametimewithhiselbow:’Ifhehadonlymadeithistrade,sir—ifhehadonlymadeithistrade!’

  Theyareinseparablecompanions;onewouldalmostsupposethat,althoughMr。Milesneverbyanychancedoesanythinginthewayofassistance,Jackcoulddonothingwithouthim。Whetherheisreading,writing,painting,carpentering,gardening,flute—playing,orwhatnot,thereisMr。Milesbesidehim,buttoneduptothechininhisbluecoat,andlookingonwithafaceofincredulousdelight,asthoughhecouldnotcreditthetestimonyofhisownsenses,andhadamisgivingthatnomancouldbesocleverbutinadream。

  Thesearemyfriends;Ihavenowintroducedmyselfandthem。

  THECLOCK—CASE

  ACONFESSIONFOUNDINAPRISONINTHETIMEOFCHARLESTHESECOND

  Iheldalieutenant’scommissioninhisMajesty’sarmy,andservedabroadinthecampaignsof1677and1678。ThetreatyofNimeguenbeingconcluded,Ireturnedhome,andretiringfromtheservice,withdrewtoasmallestatelyingafewmileseastofLondon,whichIhadrecentlyacquiredinrightofmywife。

  ThisisthelastnightIhavetolive,andIwillsetdownthenakedtruthwithoutdisguise。Iwasneverabraveman,andhadalwaysbeenfrommychildhoodofasecret,sullen,distrustfulnature。IspeakofmyselfasifIhadpassedfromtheworld;forwhileIwritethis,mygraveisdigging,andmynameiswrittenintheblack—bookofdeath。

  SoonaftermyreturntoEngland,myonlybrotherwasseizedwithmortalillness。Thiscircumstancegavemeslightornopain;forsincewehadbeenmen,wehadassociatedbutverylittletogether。

  Hewasopen—heartedandgenerous,handsomerthanI,moreaccomplished,andgenerallybeloved。Thosewhosoughtmyacquaintanceabroadorathome,becausetheywerefriendsofhis,seldomattachedthemselvestomelong,andwouldusuallysay,inourfirstconversation,thattheyweresurprisedtofindtwobrotherssounlikeintheirmannersandappearance。Itwasmyhabittoleadthemontothisavowal;forIknewwhatcomparisonstheymustdrawbetweenus;andhavingaranklingenvyinmyheart,Isoughttojustifyittomyself。

  Wehadmarriedtwosisters。Thisadditionaltiebetweenus,asitmayappeartosome,onlyestrangedusthemore。Hiswifeknewmewell。IneverstruggledwithanysecretjealousyorgallwhenshewaspresentbutthatwomanknewitaswellasIdid。IneverraisedmyeyesatsuchtimesbutIfoundhersfixeduponme;I

  neverbentthemonthegroundorlookedanotherwaybutIfeltthatsheoverlookedmealways。Itwasaninexpressiblerelieftomewhenwequarrelled,andagreaterreliefstillwhenIheardabroadthatshewasdead。Itseemstomenowasifsomestrangeandterribleforeshadowingofwhathashappenedsincemusthavehungoverusthen。Iwasafraidofher;shehauntedme;herfixedandsteadylookcomesbackuponmenow,likethememoryofadarkdream,andmakesmybloodruncold。

  Shediedshortlyaftergivingbirthtoachild—aboy。Whenmybrotherknewthatallhopeofhisownrecoverywaspast,hecalledmywifetohisbedside,andconfidedthisorphan,achildoffouryearsold,toherprotection。Hebequeathedtohimallthepropertyhehad,andwilledthat,incaseofhischild’sdeath,itshouldpasstomywife,astheonlyacknowledgmenthecouldmakeherforhercareandlove。Heexchangedafewbrotherlywordswithme,deploringourlongseparation;andbeingexhausted,fellintoaslumber,fromwhichheneverawoke。

  Wehadnochildren;andastherehadbeenastrongaffectionbetweenthesisters,andmywifehadalmostsuppliedtheplaceofamothertothisboy,shelovedhimasifhehadbeenherown。Thechildwasardentlyattachedtoher;buthewashismother’simageinfaceandspirit,andalwaysmistrustedme。

  Icanscarcelyfixthedatewhenthefeelingfirstcameuponme;

  butIsoonbegantobeuneasywhenthischildwasby。IneverrousedmyselffromsomemoodytrainofthoughtbutImarkedhimlookingatme;notwithmerechildishwonder,butwithsomethingofthepurposeandmeaningthatIhadsooftennotedinhismother。

  Itwasnoeffortofmyfancy,foundedoncloseresemblanceoffeatureandexpression。Inevercouldlooktheboydown。Hefearedme,butseemedbysomeinstincttodespisemewhilehedidso;andevenwhenhedrewbackbeneathmygaze—ashewouldwhenwewerealone,togetnearertothedoor—hewouldkeephisbrighteyesuponmestill。

  PerhapsIhidethetruthfrommyself,butIdonotthinkthat,whenthisbegan,Imeditatedtodohimanywrong。Imayhavethoughthowserviceablehisinheritancewouldbetous,andmayhavewishedhimdead;butIbelieveIhadnothoughtofcompassinghisdeath。

  Neitherdidtheideacomeuponmeatonce,butbyveryslowdegrees,presentingitselfatfirstindimshapesataverygreatdistance,asmenmaythinkofanearthquakeorthelastday;thendrawingnearerandnearer,andlosingsomethingofitshorrorandimprobability;thencomingtobepartandparcel—naynearlythewholesumandsubstance—ofmydailythoughts,andresolvingitselfintoaquestionofmeansandsafety;notofdoingorabstainingfromthedeed。

  Whilethiswasgoingonwithinme,Inevercouldbearthatthechildshouldseemelookingathim,andyetIwasunderafascinationwhichmadeitakindofbusinesswithmetocontemplatehisslightandfragilefigureandthinkhoweasilyitmightbedone。SometimesIwouldstealup—stairsandwatchhimasheslept;

  butusuallyIhoveredinthegardennearthewindowoftheroominwhichhelearnthislittletasks;andthere,ashesatuponalowseatbesidemywife,Iwouldpeerathimforhourstogetherfrombehindatree;starting,liketheguiltywretchIwas,ateveryrustlingofaleaf,andstillglidingbacktolookandstartagain。

  Hardbyourcottage,butquiteoutofsight,and(iftherewereanywindastir)ofhearingtoo,wasadeepsheetofwater。Ispentdaysinshapingwithmypocket—knifearoughmodelofaboat,whichIfinishedatlastanddroppedinthechild’sway。ThenIwithdrewtoasecretplace,whichhemustpassifhestoleawayalonetoswimthisbauble,andlurkedthereforhiscoming。Hecameneitherthatdaynorthenext,thoughIwaitedfromnoontillnightfall。I

  wassurethatIhadhiminmynet,forIhadheardhimprattlingofthetoy,andknewthatinhisinfantpleasurehekeptitbyhissideinbed。Ifeltnowearinessorfatigue,butwaitedpatiently,andonthethirddayhepassedme,runningjoyouslyalong,withhissilkenhairstreaminginthewind,andhesinging—Godhavemercyuponme!—singingamerryballad,—whocouldhardlylispthewords。

  Istoledownafterhim,creepingundercertainshrubswhichgrowinthatplace,andnonebutdevilsknowwithwhatterrorI,astrong,full—grownman,trackedthefootstepsofthatbabyasheapproachedthewater’sbrink。Iwascloseuponhim,hadsunkuponmykneeandraisedmyhandtothrusthimin,whenhesawmyshadowinthestreamandturnedhimround。

  Hismother’sghostwaslookingfromhiseyes。Thesunburstforthfrombehindacloud;itshoneinthebrightsky,theglisteningearth,theclearwater,thesparklingdropsofrainupontheleaves。Therewereeyesineverything。Thewholegreatuniverseoflightwastheretoseethemurderdone。Iknownotwhathesaid;hecameofboldandmanlyblood,and,childashewas,hedidnotcrouchorfawnuponme。Iheardhimcrythathewouldtrytoloveme,—notthathedid,—andthenIsawhimrunningbacktowardsthehouse。ThenextIsawwasmyownswordnakedinmyhand,andhelyingatmyfeetstarkdead,—dabbledhereandtherewithblood,butotherwisenodifferentfromwhatIhadseenhiminhissleep—inthesameattitudetoo,withhischeekrestinguponhislittlehand。

  Itookhiminmyarmsandlaidhim—verygentlynowthathewasdead—inathicket。Mywifewasfromhomethatday,andwouldnotreturnuntilthenext。Ourbedroomwindow,theonlysleeping—roomonthatsideofthehouse,wasbutafewfeetfromtheground,andIresolvedtodescendfromitatnightandburyhiminthegarden。

  IhadnothoughtthatIhadfailedinmydesign,nothoughtthatthewaterwouldbedraggedandnothingfound,thatthemoneymustnowliewaste,sinceImustencouragetheideathatthechildwaslostorstolen。AllmythoughtswereboundupandknottedtogetherintheoneabsorbingnecessityofhidingwhatIhaddone。

  HowIfeltwhentheycametotellmethatthechildwasmissing,whenIorderedscoutsinalldirections,whenIgaspedandtrembledateveryone’sapproach,notonguecantellormindofmanconceive。Iburiedhimthatnight。WhenIpartedtheboughsandlookedintothedarkthicket,therewasaglow—wormshininglikethevisiblespiritofGoduponthemurderedchild。IglanceddownintohisgravewhenIhadplacedhimthere,andstillitgleameduponhisbreast;aneyeoffirelookinguptoHeaveninsupplicationtothestarsthatwatchedmeatmywork。

  Ihadtomeetmywife,andbreakthenews,andgiveherhopethatthechildwouldsoonbefound。AllthisIdid,—withsomeappearance,Isuppose,ofbeingsincere,forIwastheobjectofnosuspicion。Thisdone,Isatatthebedroomwindowalldaylong,andwatchedthespotwherethedreadfulsecretlay。

  Itwasinapieceofgroundwhichhadbeenduguptobenewlyturfed,andwhichIhadchosenonthataccount,asthetracesofmyspadewerelesslikelytoattractattention。Themenwholaiddownthegrassmusthavethoughtmemad。Icalledtothemcontinuallytoexpeditetheirwork,ranoutandworkedbesidethem,troddowntheearthwithmyfeet,andhurriedthemwithfranticeagerness。

  Theyhadfinishedtheirtaskbeforenight,andthenIthoughtmyselfcomparativelysafe。

  Islept,—notasmendowhoawakerefreshedandcheerful,butI

  didsleep,passingfromvagueandshadowydreamsofbeinghunteddown,tovisionsoftheplotofgrass,throughwhichnowahand,andnowafoot,andnowtheheaditselfwasstartingout。AtthispointIalwayswokeandstoletothewindow,tomakesurethatitwasnotreallyso。Thatdone,Icrepttobedagain;andthusI

  spentthenightinfitsandstarts,gettingupandlyingdownfulltwentytimes,anddreamingthesamedreamoverandoveragain,—

  whichwasfarworsethanlyingawake,foreverydreamhadawholenight’ssufferingofitsown。OnceIthoughtthechildwasalive,andthatIhadnevertriedtokillhim。Towakefromthatdreamwasthemostdreadfulagonyofall。

  ThenextdayIsatatthewindowagain,neveroncetakingmyeyesfromtheplace,which,althoughitwascoveredbythegrass,wasasplaintome—itsshape,itssize,itsdepth,itsjaggedsides,andall—asifithadbeenopentothelightofday。Whenaservantwalkedacrossit,Ifeltasifhemustsinkin;whenhehadpassed,Ilookedtoseethathisfeethadnotworntheedges。Ifabirdlightedthere,Iwasinterrorlestbysometremendousinterpositionitshouldbeinstrumentalinthediscovery;ifabreathofairsighedacrossit,tomeitwhisperedmurder。Therewasnotasightorasound—howordinary,mean,orunimportantsoever—butwasfraughtwithfear。AndinthisstateofceaselesswatchingIspentthreedays。

  Onthefourththerecametothegateonewhohadservedwithmeabroad,accompaniedbyabrotherofficerofhiswhomIhadneverseen。IfeltthatIcouldnotbeartobeoutofsightoftheplace。Itwasasummerevening,andIbademypeopletakeatableandaflaskofwineintothegarden。ThenIsatdownWITHMYCHAIR

  UPONTHEGRAVE,andbeingassuredthatnobodycoulddisturbitnowwithoutmyknowledge,triedtodrinkandtalk。

  Theyhopedthatmywifewaswell,—thatshewasnotobligedtokeepherchamber,—thattheyhadnotfrightenedheraway。WhatcouldIdobuttellthemwithafalteringtongueaboutthechild?

  TheofficerwhomIdidnotknowwasadown—lookingman,andkepthiseyesuponthegroundwhileIwasspeaking。Eventhatterrifiedme。Icouldnotdivestmyselfoftheideathathesawsomethingtherewhichcausedhimtosuspectthetruth。Iaskedhimhurriedlyifhesupposedthat—andstopped。’Thatthechildhasbeenmurdered?’saidhe,lookingmildlyatme:’Ono!whatcouldamangainbymurderingapoorchild?’Icouldhavetoldhimwhatamangainedbysuchadeed,noonebetter:butIheldmypeaceandshiveredaswithanague。

  Mistakingmyemotion,theywereendeavouringtocheermewiththehopethattheboywouldcertainlybefound,—greatcheerthatwasforme!—whenweheardalowdeephowl,andpresentlytheresprungoverthewalltwogreatdogs,who,boundingintothegarden,repeatedthebayingsoundwehadheardbefore。

  ’Bloodhounds!’criedmyvisitors。

  Whatneedtotellmethat!Ihadneverseenoneofthatkindinallmylife,butIknewwhattheywereandforwhatpurposetheyhadcome。Igraspedtheelbowsofmychair,andneitherspokenormoved。

  ’Theyareofthegenuinebreed,’saidthemanwhomIhadknownabroad,’andbeingoutforexercisehavenodoubtescapedfromtheirkeeper。’

  Bothheandhisfriendturnedtolookatthedogs,whowiththeirnosestothegroundmovedrestlesslyabout,runningtoandfro,andupanddown,andacross,androundincircles,careeringaboutlikewildthings,andallthistimetakingnonoticeofus,buteverandagainrepeatingtheyellwehadheardalready,thendroppingtheirnosestothegroundagainandtrackingearnestlyhereandthere。

  Theynowbegantosnufftheearthmoreeagerlythantheyhaddoneyet,andalthoughtheywerestillveryrestless,nolongerbeataboutinsuchwidecircuits,butkeptneartoonespot,andconstantlydiminishedthedistancebetweenthemselvesandme。

  AtlasttheycameupclosetothegreatchaironwhichIsat,andraisingtheirfrightfulhowloncemore,triedtotearawaythewoodenrailsthatkeptthemfromthegroundbeneath。IsawhowI

  looked,inthefacesofthetwowhowerewithme。

  ’Theyscentsomeprey,’saidthey,bothtogether。

  ’Theyscentnoprey!’criedI。

  ’InHeaven’sname,move!’saidtheoneIknew,veryearnestly,’oryouwillbetorntopieces。’

  ’Letthemtearmefromlimbtolimb,I’llneverleavethisplace!’

  criedI。’Aredogstohurrymentoshamefuldeaths?Hewthemdown,cuttheminpieces。’

  ’Thereissomefoulmysteryhere!’saidtheofficerwhomIdidnotknow,drawinghissword。’InKingCharles’sname,assistmetosecurethisman。’

  Theybothsetuponmeandforcedmeaway,thoughIfoughtandbitandcaughtatthemlikeamadman。Afterastruggle,theygotmequietlybetweenthem;andthen,myGod!Isawtheangrydogstearingattheearthandthrowingitupintotheairlikewater。

  WhatmorehaveItotell?ThatIfelluponmyknees,andwithchatteringteethconfessedthetruth,andprayedtobeforgiven。

  ThatIhavesincedenied,andnowconfesstoitagain。ThatIhavebeentriedforthecrime,foundguilty,andsentenced。ThatIhavenotthecouragetoanticipatemydoom,ortobearupmanfullyagainstit。ThatIhavenocompassion,noconsolation,nohope,nofriend。Thatmywifehashappilylostforthetimethosefacultieswhichwouldenablehertoknowmymiseryorhers。ThatIamaloneinthisstonedungeonwithmyevilspirit,andthatIdieto—

  morrow。

  CORRESPONDENCE

  MasterHumphreyhasbeenfavouredwiththefollowingletterwrittenonstrongly—scentedpaper,andsealedinlight—bluewaxwiththerepresentationoftwoveryplumpdovesinterchangingbeaks。Itdoesnotcommencewithanyoftheusualformsofaddress,butbeginsasisheresetforth。

  Bath,Wednesdaynight。

  Heavens!intowhatanindiscretiondoIsuffermyselftobebetrayed!Toaddressthesefalteringlinestoatotalstranger,andthatstrangeroneofaconflictingsex!—andyetIamprecipitatedintotheabyss,andhavenopowerofself—snatchation(forgivemeifIcointhatphrase)fromtheyawninggulfbeforeme。

  Yes,Iamwritingtoaman;butletmenotthinkofthat,formadnessisinthethought。Youwillunderstandmyfeelings?O

  yes,Iamsureyouwill;andyouwillrespectthemtoo,andnotdespisethem,—willyou?

  Letmebecalm。Thatportrait,—smilingasoncehesmiledonme;

  thatcane,—danglingasIhaveseenitdanglefromhishandIknownothowoft;thoselegsthathaveglidedthroughmynightlydreamsandneverstoppedtospeak;theperfectlygentlemanly,thoughfalseoriginal,—canIbemistaken?Ono,no。

  Letmebecalmeryet;Iwouldbecalmascoffins。Youhavepublishedaletterfromonewhoselikenessisengraved,butwhosename(andwherefore?)issuppressed。ShallIbreathethatname!

  Isit—butwhyaskwhenmyhearttellsmetootrulythatitis!

  Iwouldnotupbraidhimwithhistreachery;Iwouldnotremindhimofthosetimeswhenheplightedthemosteloquentofvows,andprocuredfrommeasmallpecuniaryaccommodation;andyetIwouldseehim—seehimdidIsay—HIM—alas!suchiswoman’snature。

  Forasthepoetbeautifullysays—butyouwillalreadyhaveanticipatedthesentiment。Isitnotsweet?Oyes!

  Itwasinthiscity(hallowedbytherecollection)thatImethimfirst;andassuredlyifmortalhappinessberecordedanywhere,thenthoserubberswiththeirthree—and—sixpennypointsarescoredontabletsofcelestialbrass。Healwaysheldanhonour—generallytwo。Onthateventfulnightwestoodateight。Heraisedhiseyes(luminousintheirseductivesweetness)tomyagitatedface。’CAN

  you?’saidhe,withpeculiarmeaning。Ifeltthegentlepressureofhisfootonmine;ourcornsthrobbedinunison。’CANyou?’hesaidagain;andeverylineamentofhisexpressivecountenanceaddedthewords’resistme?’Imurmured’No,’andfainted。

  Theysaid,whenIrecovered,itwastheweather。Isaiditwasthenutmeginthenegus。Howlittledidtheysuspectthetruth!Howlittledidtheyguessthedeepmysteriousmeaningofthatinquiry!

  Hecallednextmorningonhisknees;Idonotmeantosaythatheactuallycameinthatpositiontothehouse—door,butthathewentdownuponthosejointsdirectlytheservanthadretired。Hebroughtsomeversesinhishat,whichhesaidwereoriginal,butwhichIhavesincefoundwereMilton’s;likewisealittlebottlelabelledlaudanum;alsoapistolandasword—stick。Hedrewthelatter,uncorkedtheformer,andclickedthetriggerofthepocketfire—arm。Hehadcome,hesaid,toconquerortodie。Hedidnotdie。Hewrestedfrommeanavowalofmylove,andletoffthepistoloutofabackwindowprevioustopartakingofaslightrepast。

  Faithless,inconstantman!Howmanyagesseemtohaveelapsedsincehisunaccountableandperfidiousdisappearance!CouldI

  stillforgivehimboththatandtheborrowedlucrethathepromisedtopaynextweek!CouldIspurnhimfrommyfeetifheapproachedinpenitence,andwithamatrimonialobject!Wouldtheblandishingenchanterstillweavehisspellsaroundme,orshouldIburstthemallandturnawayincoldness!Idarenottrustmyweaknesswiththethought。

  Mybrainisinawhirlagain。Youknowhisaddress,hisoccupations,hismodeoflife,—areacquainted,perhaps,withhisinmostthoughts。Youareahumaneandphilanthropiccharacter;

  revealallyouknow—all;butespeciallythestreetandnumberofhislodgings。Thepostisdeparting,thebellmanrings,—prayHeavenitbenottheknellofloveandhopetoBELINDA。

  P。S。Pardonthewanderingsofabadpenandadistractedmind。

  AddresstothePost—office。Thebellman,renderedimpatientbydelay,isringingdreadfullyinthepassage。

  P。P。S。Iopenthistosaythatthebellmanisgone,andthatyoumustnotexpectittillthenextpost;sodon’tbesurprisedwhenyoudon’tgetit。

  MasterHumphreydoesnotfeelhimselfatlibertytofurnishhisfaircorrespondentwiththeaddressofthegentlemaninquestion,buthepublishesherletterasapublicappealtohisfaithandgallantry。

  CHAPTERIII—MASTERHUMPHREY’SVISITOR

  WHENIaminathoughtfulmood,Ioftensucceedindivertingthecurrentofsomemournfulreflections,byconjuringupanumberoffancifulassociationswiththeobjectsthatsurroundme,anddwellinguponthescenesandcharacterstheysuggest。

  Ihavebeenledbythishabittoassigntoeveryroominmyhouseandeveryoldstaringportraitonitswallsaseparateinterestofitsown。Thus,Iampersuadedthatastatelydame,terribletobeholdinherrigidmodesty,whohangsabovethechimney—pieceofmybedroom,istheformerladyofthemansion。Inthecourtyardbelowisastonefaceofsurpassingugliness,whichIhavesomehow—inakindofjealousy,Iamafraid—associatedwithherhusband。

  Abovemystudyisalittleroomwithivypeepingthroughthelattice,fromwhichIbringtheirdaughter,alovelygirlofeighteenornineteenyearsofage,anddutifulinallrespectssaveone,thatonebeingherdevotedattachmenttoayounggentlemanonthestairs,whosegrandmother(degradedtoadisusedlaundryinthegarden)piquesherselfuponanoldfamilyquarrel,andistheimplacableenemyoftheirlove。WithsuchmaterialsastheseI

  workoutmanyalittledrama,whosechiefmeritis,thatIcanbringittoahappyendatwill。Ihavesomanyofthemonhand,thatifonmyreturnhomeoneoftheseeveningsIweretofindsomebluffoldwightoftwocenturiesagocomfortablyseatedinmyeasychair,andalovelorndamselvainlyappealingtohisheart,andleaningherwhitearmuponmyclockitself,IverilybelieveI

  shouldonlyexpressmysurprisethattheyhadkeptmewaitingsolong,andneverhonouredmewithacallbefore。

  Iwasinsuchamoodasthis,sittinginmygardenyesterdaymorningundertheshadeofafavouritetree,revellinginallthebloomandbrightnessaboutme,andfeelingeverysenseofhopeandenjoymentquickenedbythismostbeautifulseasonofSpring,whenmymeditationswereinterruptedbytheunexpectedappearanceofmybarberattheendofthewalk,whoIimmediatelysawwascomingtowardsmewithahastystepthatbetokenedsomethingremarkable。

  Mybarberisatalltimesaverybrisk,bustling,activelittleman,—forheis,asitwere,chubbyallover,withoutbeingstoutorunwieldy,—butyesterdayhisalacritywassoveryuncommonthatitquitetookmebysurprise。ForcouldIfailtoobservewhenhecameuptomethathisgrayeyesweretwinklinginamostextraordinarymanner,thathislittlerednosewasinanunusualglow,thateverylineinhisroundbrightfacewastwistedandcurvedintoanexpressionofpleasedsurprise,andthathiswholecountenancewasradiantwithglee?Iwasstillmoresurprisedtoseemyhousekeeper,whousuallypreservesaverystaidair,andstandssomewhatuponherdignity,peepingroundthehedgeatthebottomofthewalk,andexchangingnodsandsmileswiththebarber,whotwiceorthricelookedoverhisshoulderforthatpurpose。I

  couldconceivenoannouncementtowhichtheseappearancescouldbetheprelude,unlessitwerethattheyhadmarriedeachotherthatmorning。

  Iwas,consequently,alittledisappointedwhenitonlycameoutthattherewasagentlemaninthehousewhowishedtospeakwithme。

  ’Andwhoisit?’saidI。

  Thebarber,withhisfacescrewedupstilltighterthanbefore,repliedthatthegentlemanwouldnotsendhisname,butwishedtoseeme。Iponderedforamoment,wonderingwhothisvisitormightbe,andIremarkedthatheembracedtheopportunityofexchanginganothernodwiththehousekeeper,whostilllingeredinthedistance。

  ’Well!’saidI,’bidthegentlemancomehere。’

  Thisseemedtobetheconsummationofthebarber’shopes,forheturnedsharpround,andactuallyranaway。

  Now,mysightisnotverygoodatadistance,andthereforewhenthegentlemanfirstappearedinthewalk,Iwasnotquiteclearwhetherhewasastrangertomeorotherwise。Hewasanelderlygentleman,butcametrippingalonginthepleasantestmannerconceivable,avoidingthegarden—rollerandthebordersofthebedswithinimitabledexterity,pickinghiswayamongtheflower—pots,andsmilingwithunspeakablegoodhumour。Beforehewashalf—wayupthewalkhebegantosaluteme;thenIthoughtIknewhim;butwhenhecametowardsmewithhishatinhishand,thesunshiningonhisbaldhead,hisblandface,hisbrightspectacles,hisfawn—

  colouredtights,andhisblackgaiters,—thenmyheartwarmedtowardshim,andIfeltquitecertainthatitwasMr。Pickwick。

  ’Mydearsir,’saidthatgentlemanasIrosetoreceivehim,’praybeseated。Praysitdown。Now,donotstandonmyaccount。I

  mustinsistuponit,really。’WiththesewordsMr。Pickwickgentlypressedmedownintomyseat,andtakingmyhandinhis,shookitagainandagainwithawarmthofmannerperfectlyirresistible。I

  endeavouredtoexpressinmywelcomesomethingofthatheartinessandpleasurewhichthesightofhimawakened,andmadehimsitdownbesideme。Allthistimehekeptalternatelyreleasingmyhandandgraspingitagain,andsurveyingmethroughhisspectacleswithsuchabeamingcountenanceasInevertillthenbeheld。

  ’Youknewmedirectly!’saidMr。Pickwick。’Whatapleasureitistothinkthatyouknewmedirectly!’

  IremarkedthatIhadreadhisadventuresveryoften,andhisfeatureswerequitefamiliartomefromthepublishedportraits。

  AsIthoughtitagoodopportunityofadvertingtothecircumstance,Icondoledwithhimuponthevariouslibelsonhischaracterwhichhadfoundtheirwayintoprint。Mr。Pickwickshookhishead,andforamomentlookedveryindignant,butsmilingagaindirectly,addedthatnodoubtIwasacquaintedwithCervantes’sintroductiontothesecondpartofDonQuixote,andthatitfullyexpressedhissentimentsonthesubject。

  ’Butnow,’saidMr。Pickwick,’don’tyouwonderhowIfoundyouout?’

  ’Ishallneverwonder,and,withyourgoodleave,neverknow,’saidI,smilinginmyturn。’Itisenoughformethatyougivemethisgratification。IhavenottheleastdesirethatyoushouldtellmebywhatmeansIhaveobtainedit。’

  ’Youareverykind,’returnedMr。Pickwick,shakingmebythehandagain;’youaresoexactlywhatIexpected!ButforwhatparticularpurposedoyouthinkIhavesoughtyou,mydearsir?

  NowwhatDOyouthinkIhavecomefor?’

  Mr。PickwickputthisquestionasthoughhewerepersuadedthatitwasmorallyimpossiblethatIcouldbyanymeansdivinethedeeppurposeofhisvisit,andthatitmustbehiddenfromallhumanken。Therefore,althoughIwasrejoicedtothinkthatIhadanticipatedhisdrift,Ifeignedtobequiteignorantofit,andafterabriefconsiderationshookmyheaddespairingly。

  ’Whatshouldyousay,’saidMr。Pickwick,layingtheforefingerofhislefthanduponmycoat—sleeve,andlookingatmewithhisheadthrownback,andalittleononeside,—’whatshouldyousayifI

  confessedthatafterreadingyouraccountofyourselfandyourlittlesociety,Ihadcomehere,ahumblecandidateforoneofthoseemptychairs?’

  ’Ishouldsay,’Ireturned,’thatIknowofonlyonecircumstancewhichcouldstillfurtherendearthatlittlesocietytome,andthatwouldbetheassociatingwithitmyoldfriend,—foryoumustletmecallyouso,—myoldfriend,Mr。Pickwick。’

  AsImadehimthisanswereveryfeatureofMr。Pickwick’sfacefuseditselfintooneall—pervadingexpressionofdelight。Aftershakingmeheartilybybothhandsatonce,hepattedmegentlyontheback,andthen—Iwellunderstoodwhy—coloureduptotheeyes,andhopedwithgreatearnestnessofmannerthathehadnothurtme。

  Ifhehad,Iwouldhavebeencontentthatheshouldhaverepeatedtheoffenceahundredtimesratherthansupposeso;butashehadnot,Ihadnodifficultyinchangingthesubjectbymakinganinquirywhichhadbeenuponmylipstwentytimesalready。

  ’Youhavenottoldme,’saidI,’anythingaboutSamWeller。’

  ’O!Sam,’repliedMr。Pickwick,’isthesameasever。Thesametrue,faithfulfellowthatheeverwas。WhatshouldItellyouaboutSam,mydearsir,exceptthatheismoreindispensabletomyhappinessandcomforteverydayofmylife?’

  ’AndMr。Wellersenior?’saidI。

  ’OldMr。Weller,’returnedMr。Pickwick,’isinnorespectmorealteredthanSam,unlessitbethatheisalittlemoreopinionatedthanhewasformerly,andperhapsattimesmoretalkative。Hespendsagooddealofhistimenowinourneighbourhood,andhassoconstitutedhimselfapartofmybodyguard,thatwhenIaskpermissionforSamtohaveaseatinyourkitchenonclocknights(supposingyourthreefriendsthinkmeworthytofilloneofthechairs),IamafraidImustoftenincludeMr。Wellertoo。’

  IveryreadilypledgedmyselftogivebothSamandhisfatherafreeadmissiontomyhouseatallhoursandseasons,andthispointsettled,wefellintoalengthyconversationwhichwascarriedonwithaslittlereserveonbothsidesasifwehadbeenintimatefriendsfromouryouth,andwhichconveyedtomethecomfortableassurancethatMr。Pickwick’sbuoyancyofspirit,andindeedallhisoldcheerfulcharacteristics,werewhollyunimpaired。Ashehadspokenoftheconsentofmyfriendsasbeingyetinabeyance,I

  repeatedlyassuredhimthathisproposalwascertaintoreceivetheirmostjoyfulsanction,andseveraltimesentreatedthathewouldgivemeleavetointroducehimtoJackRedburnandMr。Miles(whowerenearathand)withoutfurtherceremony。

  Tothisproposal,however,Mr。Pickwick’sdelicacywouldbynomeansallowhimtoaccede,forheurgedthathiseligibilitymustbeformallydiscussed,andthat,untilthishadbeendone,hecouldnotthinkofobtrudinghimselffurther。TheutmostIcouldobtainfromhimwasapromisethathewouldattenduponournextnightofmeeting,thatImighthavethepleasureofpresentinghimimmediatelyonhiselection。

  Mr。Pickwick,havingwithmanyblushesplacedinmyhandsasmallrollofpaper,whichhetermedhis’qualification,’putagreatmanyquestionstometouchingmyfriends,andparticularlyJackRedburn,whomherepeatedlytermed’afinefellow,’andinwhosefavourIcouldseehewasstronglypredisposed。WhenIhadsatisfiedhimonthesepoints,Itookhimupintomyroom,thathemightmakeacquaintancewiththeoldchamberwhichisourplaceofmeeting。

  ’Andthis,’saidMr。Pickwick,stoppingshort,’istheclock!Dearme!Andthisisreallytheoldclock!’

  Ithoughthewouldneverhavecomeawayfromit。Afteradvancingtowardsitsoftly,andlayinghishanduponitwithasmuchrespectandasmanysmilinglooksasifitwerealive,hesethimselftoconsideritineverypossibledirection,nowmountingonachairtolookatthetop,nowgoingdownuponhiskneestoexaminethebottom,nowsurveyingthesideswithhisspectaclesalmosttouchingthecase,andnowtryingtopeepbetweenitandthewalltogetaslightviewoftheback。Thenhewouldretireapaceortwoandlookupatthedialtoseeitgo,andthendrawnearagainandstandwithhisheadononesidetohearittick:neverfailingtoglancetowardsmeatintervalsofafewsecondseach,andnodhisheadwithsuchcomplacentgratificationasIamquiteunabletodescribe。Hisadmirationwasnotconfinedtotheclockeither,butextendeditselftoeveryarticleintheroom;andreally,whenhehadgonethroughthemeveryone,andatlastsathimselfdowninallthesixchairs,oneafteranother,totryhowtheyfelt,I

  neversawsuchapictureofgood—humourandhappinessashepresented,fromthetopofhisshiningheaddowntotheverylastbuttonofhisgaiters。

  Ishouldhavebeenwellpleased,andshouldhavehadtheutmostenjoymentofhiscompany,ifhehadremainedwithmeallday,butmyfavourite,strikingthehour,remindedhimthathemusttakehisleave。Icouldnotforbeartellinghimoncemorehowgladhehadmademe,andweshookhandsallthewaydown—stairs。

  WehadnosoonerarrivedintheHallthanmyhousekeeper,glidingoutofherlittleroom(shehadchangedhergownandcap,I

  observed),greetedMr。Pickwickwithherbestsmileandcourtesy;

  andthebarber,feigningtobeaccidentallypassingonhiswayout,madehimavastnumberofbows。Whenthehousekeepercourtesied,Mr。Pickwickbowedwiththeutmostpoliteness,andwhenhebowed,thehousekeepercourtesiedagain;betweenthehousekeeperandthebarber,IshouldsaythatMr。Pickwickfacedaboutandbowedwithundiminishedaffabilityfiftytimesatleast。

  Isawhimtothedoor;anomnibuswasatthemomentpassingthecornerofthelane,whichMr。Pickwickhailedandranafterwithextraordinarynimbleness。Whenhehadgotabouthalf—way,heturnedhishead,andseeingthatIwasstilllookingafterhimandthatIwavedmyhand,stopped,evidentlyirresolutewhethertocomebackandshakehandsagain,ortogoon。Themanbehindtheomnibusshouted,andMr。Pickwickranalittlewaytowardshim:

  thenhelookedroundatme,andranalittlewaybackagain。Thentherewasanothershout,andheturnedroundoncemoreandrantheotherway。Afterseveralofthesevibrations,themansettledthequestionbytakingMr。Pickwickbythearmandputtinghimintothecarriage;buthislastactionwastoletdownthewindowandwavehishattomeasitdroveoff。

  Ilostnotimeinopeningtheparcelhehadleftwithme。Thefollowingwereitscontents:—

  MR。PICKWICK’STALE

  AgoodmanyyearshavepassedawaysinceoldJohnPodgerslivedinthetownofWindsor,wherehewasborn,andwhere,incourseoftime,hecametobecomfortablyandsnuglyburied。YoumaybesurethatinthetimeofKingJamestheFirst,Windsorwasaveryquaintqueeroldtown,andyoumaytakeituponmyauthoritythatJohnPodgerswasaveryquaintqueeroldfellow;consequentlyheandWindsorfittedeachothertoanicety,andseldompartedcompanyevenforhalfaday。

  JohnPodgerswasbroad,sturdy,Dutch—built,short,andaveryhardeater,asmenofhisfigureoftenare。Beingahardsleeperlikewise,hedividedhistimeprettyequallybetweenthesetworecreations,alwaysfallingasleepwhenhehaddoneeating,andalwaystakinganotherturnatthetrencherwhenhehaddonesleeping,bywhichmeanshegrewmorecorpulentandmoredrowsyeverydayofhislife。Indeeditusedtobecurrentlyreportedthatwhenhesaunteredupanddownthesunnysideofthestreetbeforedinner(asheneverfailedtodoinfairweather),heenjoyedhissoundestnap;butmanypeopleheldthistobeafiction,ashehadseveraltimesbeenseentolookafterfatoxenonmarket—days,andhadevenbeenheard,bypersonsofgoodcreditandreputation,tochuckleatthesight,andsaytohimselfwithgreatglee,’Livebeef,livebeef!’ItwasuponthisevidencethatthewisestpeopleinWindsor(beginningwiththelocalauthoritiesofcourse)heldthatJohnPodgerswasamanofstrong,soundsense,notwhatiscalledsmart,perhaps,anditmightbeofaratherlazyandapoplecticturn,butstillamanofsolidparts,andonewhomeantmuchmorethanhecaredtoshow。Thisimpressionwasconfirmedbyaverydignifiedwayhehadofshakinghisheadandimparting,atthesametime,apendulousmotiontohisdoublechin;

  inshort,hepassedforoneofthosepeoplewho,beingplungedintotheThames,wouldmakenovaineffortstosetitafire,butwouldstraightwayflopdowntothebottomwithadealofgravity,andbehighlyrespectedinconsequencebyallgoodmen。

  Beingwelltodointheworld,andapeacefulwidower,—havingagreatappetite,which,ashecouldaffordtogratifyit,wasaluxuryandnoinconvenience,andapowerofgoingtosleep,which,ashehadnooccasiontokeepawake,wasamostenviablefaculty,—

  youwillreadilysupposethatJohnPodgerswasahappyman。Butappearancesareoftendeceptivewhentheyleastseemso,andthetruthisthat,notwithstandinghisextremesleekness,hewasrendereduneasyinhismindandexceedinglyuncomfortablebyaconstantapprehensionthatbesethimnightandday。

  Youknowverywellthatinthosetimesthereflourisheddiverseviloldwomenwho,underthenameofWitches,spreadgreatdisorderthroughtheland,andinflictedvariousdismaltorturesuponChristianmen;stickingpinsandneedlesintothemwhentheyleastexpectedit,andcausingthemtowalkintheairwiththeirfeetupwards,tothegreatterroroftheirwivesandfamilies,whowerenaturallyverymuchdisconcertedwhenthemasterofthehouseunexpectedlycamehome,knockingatthedoorwithhisheelsandcombinghishaironthescraper。Theseweretheircommonestpranks,buttheyeverydayplayedahundredothers,ofwhichnonewerelessobjectionable,andmanyweremuchmoreso,beingimproperbesides;theresultwasthatvengeancewasdenouncedagainstalloldwomen,withwhomeventhekinghimselfhadnosympathy(ashecertainlyoughttohavehad),forwithhisownmostGracioushandhepennedamostGraciousconsignmentofthemtoeverlastingwrath,anddevisedmostGraciousmeansfortheirconfusionandslaughter,invirtuewhereofscarcelyadaypassedbutonewitchattheleastwasmostgraciouslyhanged,drowned,orroastedinsomepartofhisdominions。StillthepressteemedwithstrangeandterriblenewsfromtheNorthortheSouth,ortheEastortheWest,relativetowitchesandtheirunhappyvictimsinsomecornerofthecountry,andthePublic’shairstoodonendtothatdegreethatitlifteditshatoffitshead,andmadeitsfacepalewithterror。

  YoumaybelievethatthelittletownofWindsordidnotescapethegeneralcontagion。Theinhabitantsboiledawitchontheking’sbirthdayandsentabottleofthebrothtocourt,withadutifuladdressexpressiveoftheirloyalty。Theking,beingratherfrightenedbythepresent,piouslybestoweditupontheArchbishopofCanterbury,andreturnedananswertotheaddress,whereinhegavethemgoldenrulesfordiscoveringwitches,andlaidgreatstressuponcertainprotectingcharms,andespeciallyhorseshoes。

  Immediatelythetowns—peoplewenttoworknailinguphorseshoesovereverydoor,andsomanyanxiousparentsapprenticedtheirchildrentofarrierstokeepthemoutofharm’sway,thatitbecamequiteagenteeltrade,andflourishedexceedingly。

  InthemidstofallthisbustleJohnPodgersateandsleptasusual,butshookhisheadagreatdealoftenerthanwashiscustom,andwasobservedtolookattheoxenless,andattheoldwomenmore。Hehadalittleshelfputupinhissitting—room,whereonwasdisplayed,inarowwhichgrewlongereveryweek,allthewitchcraftliteratureofthetime;hegrewlearnedincharmsandexorcisms,hintedatcertainquestionablefemalesonbroomstickswhomhehadseenfromhischamberwindow,ridingintheairatnight,andwasinconstantterrorofbeingbewitched。Atlength,fromperpetuallydwellinguponthisoneidea,which,beingaloneinhishead,hadallitsownway,thefearofwitchesbecamethesinglepassionofhislife。He,whouptothattimehadneverknownwhatitwastodream,begantohavevisionsofwitcheswheneverhefellasleep;waking,theywereincessantlypresenttohisimaginationlikewise;and,sleepingorwaking,hehadnotamoment’speace。Hebegantosetwitch—trapsinthehighway,andwasoftenseenlyinginwaitroundthecornerforhourstogether,towatchtheireffect。Theseengineswereofsimpleconstruction,usuallyconsistingoftwostrawsdisposedintheformofacross,orapieceofaBiblecoverwithapinchofsaltuponit;buttheywereinfallible,andifanoldwomanchancedtostumbleoverthem(asnotunfrequentlyhappened,thechosenspotbeingabrokenandstonyplace),Johnstartedfromadoze,pouncedoutuponher,andhungroundhernecktillassistancearrived,whenshewasimmediatelycarriedawayanddrowned。Bydintofconstantlyinveiglingoldladiesanddisposingoftheminthissummarymanner,heacquiredthereputationofagreatpubliccharacter;andashereceivednoharminthesepursuitsbeyondascratchedfaceorso,hecame,inthecourseoftime,tobeconsideredwitch—proof。

  TherewasbutonepersonwhoentertainedtheleastdoubtofJohnPodgers’sgifts,andthatpersonwashisownnephew,awild,rovingyoungfellowoftwentywhohadbeenbroughtupinhisuncle’shouseandlivedtherestill,—thatistosay,whenhewasathome,whichwasnotasoftenasitmighthavebeen。Ashewasanaptscholar,itwashewhoreadaloudeveryfreshpieceofstrangeandterribleintelligencethatJohnPodgersbought;andthishealwaysdidofaneveninginthelittleporchinfrontofthehouse,roundwhichtheneighbourswouldflockincrowdstohearthedirefulnews,—forpeopleliketobefrightened,andwhentheycanbefrightenedfornothingandatanotherman’sexpense,theylikeitallthebetter。

  Onefinemidsummerevening,agroupofpersonsweregatheredinthisplace,listeningintentlytoWillMarks(thatwasthenephew’sname),aswithhiscapverymuchononeside,hisarmcoiledslylyroundthewaistofaprettygirlwhosatbesidehim,andhisfacescrewedintoacomicalexpressionintendedtorepresentextremegravity,heread—withHeavenknowshowmanyembellishmentsofhisown—adismalaccountofagentlemandowninNorthamptonshireundertheinfluenceofwitchcraftandtakenforciblepossessionofbytheDevil,whowasplayinghisveryselfwithhim。JohnPodgers,inahighsugar—loafhatandshortcloak,filledtheoppositeseat,andsurveyedtheauditorywithalookofmingledprideandhorrorveryedifyingtosee;whilethehearers,withtheirheadsthrustforwardandtheirmouthsopen,listenedandtrembled,andhopedtherewasagreatdealmoretocome。SometimesWillstoppedforaninstanttolookrounduponhiseageraudience,andthen,withamorecomicalexpressionoffacethanbeforeandasettlingofhimselfcomfortably,whichincludedasqueezeoftheyoungladybeforementioned,helaunchedintosomenewwondersurpassingalltheothers。

  Thesettingsunshedhislastgoldenraysuponthislittleparty,who,absorbedintheirpresentoccupation,tooknoheedoftheapproachofnight,orthegloryinwhichthedaywentdown,whenthesoundofahorse,approachingatagoodroundtrot,invadingthesilenceofthehour,causedthereadertomakeasuddenstop,andthelistenerstoraisetheirheadsinwonder。Norwastheirwonderdiminishedwhenahorsemandasheduptotheporch,andabruptlycheckinghissteed,inquiredwhereoneJohnPodgersdwelt。

  ’Here!’criedadozenvoices,whileadozenhandspointedoutsturdyJohn,stillbaskingintheterrorsofthepamphlet。

  Therider,givinghisbridletooneofthosewhosurroundedhim,dismounted,andapproachedJohn,hatinhand,butwithgreathaste。

  ’Whencecomeye?’saidJohn。

  ’FromKingston,master。’

  ’Andwherefore?’

  ’Onmostpressingbusiness。’

  ’Ofwhatnature?’

  ’Witchcraft。’

  Witchcraft!Everybodylookedaghastatthebreathlessmessenger,andthebreathlessmessengerlookedequallyaghastateverybody—

  exceptWillMarks,who,findinghimselfunobserved,notonlysqueezedtheyoungladyagain,butkissedhertwice。Surelyhemusthavebeenbewitchedhimself,orhenevercouldhavedoneit—

  andtheyoungladytoo,orsheneverwouldhavelethim。

  ’Witchcraft!’criedWill,drowningthesoundofhislastkiss,whichwasratheraloudone。

  Themessengerturnedtowardshim,andwithafrownrepeatedthewordmoresolemnlythanbefore;thentoldhiserrand,whichwas,inbrief,thatthepeopleofKingstonhadbeengreatlyterrifiedforsomenightspastbyhideousrevels,heldbywitchesbeneaththegibbetwithinamileofthetown,andrelatedanddeposedtobychancewayfarerswhohadpassedwithinear—shotofthespot;thatthesoundoftheirvoicesintheirwildorgieshadbeenplainlyheardbymanypersons;thatthreeoldwomenlabouredunderstrongsuspicion,andthatprecedentshadbeenconsultedandsolemncouncilhad,anditwasfoundthattoidentifythehagssomesinglepersonmustwatchuponthespotalone;thatnosinglepersonhadthecouragetoperformthetask;andthathehadbeendespatchedexpresstosolicitJohnPodgerstoundertakeitthatverynight,asbeingamanofgreatrenown,whoboreacharmedlife,andwasproofagainstunholyspells。

  Johnreceivedthiscommunicationwithmuchcomposure,andsaidinafewwords,thatitwouldhaveaffordedhiminexpressiblepleasuretodotheKingstonpeoplesoslightaservice,ifitwerenotforhisunfortunatepropensitytofallasleep,whichnomanregrettedmorethanhimselfuponthepresentoccasion,butwhichquitesettledthequestion。Nevertheless,hesaid,thereWASagentlemanpresent(andherehelookedveryhardatatallfarrier),who,havingbeenengagedallhislifeinthemanufactureofhorseshoes,mustbequiteinvulnerabletothepowerofwitches,andwho,hehadnodoubt,fromhisownreputationforbraveryandgood—nature,wouldreadilyacceptthecommission。Thefarrierpolitelythankedhimforhisgoodopinion,whichitwouldalwaysbehisstudytodeserve,butaddedthat,withregardtothepresentlittlematter,hecouldn’tthinkofitonanyaccount,ashisdepartingonsuchanerrandwouldcertainlyoccasiontheinstantdeathofhiswife,towhom,astheyallknew,hewastenderlyattached。Now,sofarfromthiscircumstancebeingnotorious,everybodyhadsuspectedthereverse,asthefarrierwasinthehabitofbeatinghisladyrathermorethantenderhusbandsusuallydo;allthemarriedmenpresent,however,applaudedhisresolutionwithgreatvehemence,andoneandalldeclaredthattheywouldstopathomeanddieifneedful(whichhappilyitwasnot)indefenceoftheirlawfulpartners。

  Thisburstofenthusiasmover,theybegantolook,asbyoneconsent,towardWillMarks,who,withhiscapmoreononesidethanever,satwatchingtheproceedingswithextraordinaryunconcern。

  Hehadneverbeenheardopenlytoexpresshisdisbeliefinwitches,buthadoftencutsuchjokesattheirexpenseasleftittobeinferred;publiclystatingonseveraloccasionsthatheconsideredabroomstickaninconvenientcharger,andoneespeciallyunsuitedtothedignityofthefemalecharacter,andindulginginotherfreeremarksofthesametendency,tothegreatamusementofhiswildcompanions。

  AstheylookedatWilltheybegantowhisperandmurmuramongthemselves,andatlengthonemancried,’Whydon’tyouaskWillMarks?’

  Asthiswaswhateverybodyhadbeenthinkingof,theyalltookuptheword,andcriedinconcert,’Ah!whydon’tyouaskWill?’

  ’HEdon’tcare,’saidthefarrier。

  ’Nothe,’addedanothervoiceinthecrowd。

  ’Hedon’tbelieveinit,youknow,’sneeredalittlemanwithayellowfaceandatauntingnoseandchin,whichhethrustoutfromunderthearmofalongmanbeforehim。

  ’Besides,’saidared—facedgentlemanwithagruffvoice,’he’sasingleman。’

  ’That’sthepoint!’saidthefarrier;andallthemarriedmenmurmured,ah!thatwasit,andtheyonlywishedtheyweresinglethemselves;theywouldshowhimwhatspiritwas,verysoon。

  ThemessengerlookedtowardsWillMarksbeseechingly。

  ’Itwillbeawetnight,friend,andmygraynagistiredafteryesterday’swork—’

  Heretherewasageneraltitter。

  ’But,’resumedWill,lookingabouthimwithasmile,’ifnobodyelseputsinabetterclaimtogo,forthecreditofthetownIamyourman,andIwouldbe,ifIhadtogoafoot。InfiveminutesI

  shallbeinthesaddle,unlessIamdeprivinganyworthygentlemanhereofthehonouroftheadventure,whichIwouldn’tdofortheworld。’

  Butherearoseadoubledifficulty,fornotonlydidJohnPodgerscombattheresolutionwithallthewordshehad,whichwerenotmany,buttheyoungladycombatedittoowithallthetearsshehad,whichwereverymanyindeed。Will,however,beinginflexible,parriedhisuncle’sobjectionswithajoke,andcoaxedtheyoungladyintoasmileinthreeshortwhispers。Asitwasplainthathesethisminduponit,andwouldgo,JohnPodgersofferedhimafewfirst—ratecharmsoutofhisownpocket,whichhedutifullydeclinedtoaccept;andtheyoungladygavehimakiss,whichhealsoreturned。

  ’Youseewhatararethingitistobemarried,’saidWill,’andhowcarefulandconsiderateallthesehusbandsare。There’snotamanamongthembuthisheartisleapingtoforestallmeinthisadventure,andyetastrongsenseofdutykeepshimback。Thehusbandsinthisonelittletownareapatterntotheworld,andsomustthewivesbetoo,forthatmatter,ortheycouldneverboasthalftheinfluencetheyhave!’

  Waitingfornoreplytothissarcasm,hesnappedhisfingersandwithdrewintothehouse,andthenceintothestable,whilesomebusiedthemselvesinrefreshingthemessenger,andothersinbaitinghissteed。Inlessthanthespecifiedtimehereturnedbyanotherway,withagoodcloakhangingoverhisarm,agoodswordgirdedbyhisside,andleadinghisgoodhorsecaparisonedforthejourney。

  ’Now,’saidWill,leapingintothesaddleatabound,’upandaway。

  Uponyourmettle,friend,andpushon。Goodnight!’

  Hekissedhishandtothegirl,noddedtohisdrowsyuncle,wavedhiscaptotherest—andofftheyflewpell—mell,asifallthewitchesinEnglandwereintheirhorses’legs。Theywereoutofsightinaminute。

  Themenwhowereleftbehindshooktheirheadsdoubtfully,strokedtheirchins,andshooktheirheadsagain。ThefarriersaidthatcertainlyWillMarkswasagoodhorseman,nobodyshouldeversayhedeniedthat:buthewasrash,veryrash,andtherewasnotellingwhattheendofitmightbe;whatdidhegofor,thatwaswhathewantedtoknow?Hewishedtheyoungfellownoharm,butwhydidhego?Everybodyechoedthesewords,andshooktheirheadsagain,havingdonewhichtheywishedJohnPodgersgoodnight,andstraggledhometobed。

  TheKingstonpeoplewereintheirfirstsleepwhenWillMarksandhisconductorrodethroughthetownanduptothedoorofahousewheresundrygravefunctionarieswereassembled,anxiouslyexpectingthearrivaloftherenownedPodgers。Theywerealittledisappointedtofindagayyoungmaninhisplace;buttheyputthebestfaceuponthematter,andgavehimfullinstructionshowhewastoconcealhimselfbehindthegibbet,andwatchandlistentothewitches,andhowatacertaintimehewastoburstforthandcutandslashamongthemvigorously,sothatthesuspectedpartiesmightbefoundbleedingintheirbedsnextday,andthoroughlyconfounded。Theygavehimagreatquantityofwholesomeadvicebesides,and—whichwasmoretothepurposewithWill—agoodsupper。Allthesethingsbeingdone,andmidnightnearlycome,theysalliedforthtoshowhimthespotwherehewastokeephisdrearyvigil。

  Thenightwasbythistimedarkandthreatening。Therewasarumblingofdistantthunder,andalowsighingofwindamongthetrees,whichwasverydismal。ThepotentatesofthetownkeptsouncommonlyclosetoWillthattheytroduponhistoes,orstumbledagainsthisankles,ornearlytrippeduphisheelsateverystephetook,and,besidestheseannoyances,theirteethchatteredsowithfear,thatheseemedtobeaccompaniedbyadirgeofcastanets。

  Atlasttheymadeahaltattheopeningofalonely,desolatespace,and,pointingtoablackobjectatsomedistance,askedWillifhesawthat,yonder。

  ’Yes,’hereplied。’Whatthen?’

  Informinghimabruptlythatitwasthegibbetwherehewastowatch,theywishedhimgoodnightinanextremelyfriendlymanner,andranbackasfastastheirfeetwouldcarrythem。

  Willwalkedboldlytothegibbet,and,glancingupwardswhenhecameunderit,saw—certainlywithsatisfaction—thatitwasempty,andthatnothingdangledfromthetopbutsomeironchains,whichswungmournfullytoandfroastheyweremovedbythebreeze。

  Afteracarefulsurveyofeveryquarterhedeterminedtotakehisstationwithhisfacetowardsthetown;bothbecausethatwouldplacehimwithhisbacktothewind,andbecause,ifanytrickorsurprisewereattempted,itwouldprobablycomefromthatdirectioninthefirstinstance。Havingtakentheseprecautions,hewrappedhiscloakabouthimsothatitleftthehandleofhisswordfree,andreadytohishand,andleaningagainstthegallows—treewithhiscapnotquitesomuchononesideasithadbeenbefore,tookuphispositionforthenight。

  SECONDCHAPTEROFMR。PICKWICK’STALE

  WeleftWillMarksleaningunderthegibbetwithhisfacetowardsthetown,scanningthedistancewithakeeneye,whichsoughttopiercethedarknessandcatchtheearliestglimpseofanypersonorpersonsthatmightapproachtowardshim。Butallwasquiet,and,savethehowlingofthewindasitsweptacrosstheheathingusts,andthecreakingofthechainsthatdangledabovehishead,therewasnosoundtobreakthesullenstillnessofthenight。AfterhalfanhourorsothismonotonybecamemoredisconcertingtoWillthanthemostfuriousuproarwouldhavebeen,andheheartilywishedforsomeoneantagonistwithwhomhemighthaveafairstand—upfight,ifitwereonlytowarmhimself。

  Truthtotell,itwasabitterwind,andseemedtoblowtotheveryheartofamanwhoseblood,heatedbutnowwithrapidriding,wasthemoresensitivetothechillingblast。Willwasadaringfellow,andcarednotajotforhardknocksorsharpblades;buthecouldnotpersuadehimselftomoveorwalkabout,havingjustthatvagueexpectationofasuddenassaultwhichmadeitacomfortablethingtohavesomethingathisback,eventhoughthatsomethingwereagallows—tree。Hehadnogreatfaithinthesuperstitionsoftheage,stillsuchofthemasoccurredtohimdidnotservetolightenthetime,ortorenderhissituationthemoreendurable。

  Herememberedhowwitchesweresaidtorepairatthatghostlyhourtochurchyardsandgibbets,andsuch—likedismalspots,topluckthebleedingmandrakeorscrapethefleshfromdeadmen’sbones,aschoiceingredientsfortheirspells;how,stealingbynighttolonelyplaces,theyduggraveswiththeirfinger—nails,oranointedthemselvesbeforeridingintheair,withadelicatepomatummadeofthefatofinfantsnewlyboiled。These,andmanyotherfabledpracticesofanolessagreeablenature,andallhavingsomereferencetothecircumstancesinwhichhewasplaced,passedandrepassedinquicksuccessionthroughthemindofWillMarks,andaddingashadowydreadtothatdistrustandwatchfulnesswhichhissituationinspired,renderedit,uponthewhole,sufficientlyuncomfortable。Ashehadforeseen,too,therainbegantodescendheavily,anddrivingbeforethewindinathickmist,obscuredeventhosefewobjectswhichthedarknessofthenighthadbeforeimperfectlyrevealed。

  ’Look!’shriekedavoice。’GreatHeaven,ithasfallendown,andstandserectasifitlived!’

  Thespeakerwasclosebehindhim;thevoicewasalmostathisear。

  Willthrewoffhiscloak,drewhissword,anddartingswiftlyround,seizedawomanbythewrist,who,recoilingfromhimwithadreadfulshriek,fellstrugglinguponherknees。Anotherwoman,clad,likeherwhomhehadgrasped,inmourninggarments,stoodrootedtothespotonwhichtheywere,gazinguponhisfacewithwildandglaringeyesthatquiteappalledhim。

  ’Say,’criedWill,whentheyhadconfrontedeachotherthusforsometime,’whatareye?’

  ’SaywhatareYOU,’returnedthewoman,’whotroubleeventhisobsceneresting—placeofthedead,andstripthegibbetofitshonouredburden?Whereisthebody?’

  Helookedinwonderandaffrightfromthewomanwhoquestionedhimtotheotherwhosearmheclutched。

  ’Whereisthebody?’repeatedthequestionermorefirmlythanbefore。’Youwearnoliverywhichmarksyouforthehirelingofthegovernment。Youarenofriendtous,orIshouldrecogniseyou,forthefriendsofsuchaswearefewinnumber。Whatareyouthen,andwhereforeareyouhere?’

  ’Iamnofoetothedistressedandhelpless,’saidWill。’Areyeamongthatnumber?yeshouldbebyyourlooks。’

  ’Weare!’wastheanswer。

  ’Isityewhohavebeenwailingandweepinghereundercoverofthenight?’saidWill。

  ’Itis,’repliedthewomansternly;andpointing,asshespoke,towardshercompanion,’shemournsahusband,andIabrother。

  Eventhebloodylawthatwreaksitsvengeanceonthedeaddoesnotmakethatacrime,andifitdid’twouldbealiketouswhoarepastitsfearorfavour。’

  Willglancedatthetwofemales,andcouldbarelydiscernthattheonewhomheaddressedwasmuchtheelder,andthattheotherwasyoungandofaslightfigure。Bothweredeadlypale,theirgarmentswetandworn,theirhairdishevelledandstreaminginthewind,themselvesboweddownwithgriefandmisery;theirwholeappearancemostdejected,wretched,andforlorn。Asightsodifferentfromanyhehadexpectedtoencountertouchedhimtothequick,andallideaofanythingbuttheirpitiableconditionvanishedbeforeit。

  ’Iamarough,bluntyeoman,’saidWill。’WhyIcamehereistoldinaword;youhavebeenoverheardatadistanceinthesilenceofthenight,andIhaveundertakenawatchforhagsorspirits。I

  camehereexpectinganadventure,andpreparedtogothroughwithany。IftherebeaughtthatIcandotohelporaidyou,nameit,andonthefaithofamanwhocanbesecretandtrusty,Iwillstandbyyoutothedeath。’

  ’Howcomesthisgibbettobeempty?’askedtheelderfemale。

  ’Isweartoyou,’repliedWill,’thatIknowaslittleasyourself。

  ButthisIknow,thatwhenIcamehereanhouragoorso,itwasasitisnow;andif,asIgatherfromyourquestion,itwasnotsolastnight,sureIamthatithasbeensecretlydisturbedwithouttheknowledgeofthefolksinyondertown。Bethinkyou,therefore,whetheryouhavenofriendsinleaguewithyouorwithhimonwhomthelawhasdoneitsworst,bywhomthesesadremainshavebeenremovedforburial。’

  Thewomenspoketogether,andWillretiredapaceortwowhiletheyconversedapart。Hecouldhearthemsobandmoan,andsawthattheywrungtheirhandsinfruitlessagony。Hecouldmakeoutlittlethattheysaid,butbetweenwhileshegatheredenoughtoassurehimthathissuggestionwasnotverywideofthemark,andthattheynotonlysuspectedbywhomthebodyhadbeenremoved,butalsowhitherithadbeenconveyed。Whentheyhadbeeninconversationalongtime,theyturnedtowardshimoncemore。Thistimetheyoungerfemalespoke。

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