ThatportionoftheUniversalHistorywhichwaswrittenbyhimdoesnotseemtometobecomposedwithpeculiarspirit，butalltracesofthewitandthewandererwereprobablywornoutbeforeheundertookthework。Hispiousandpatientenduranceofatediousillness，endinginanexemplarydeath，confirmedthestrongimpressionhismerithadmadeuponthemindofMr。Johnson。\"ItissoVERYdifficult，\"saidhe，always，\"forasickmannottobeascoundrel。Oh！setthepillowssoft，hereisMr。Grumblera—coming。Ah！letnoairinfortheworld，Mr。Grumblerwillbeherepresently。\"
Thisperpetualpreferenceissooffensive，wheretheprivilegesofsicknessare，besides，supportedbywealth，andnourishedbydependence，thatonecannotmuchwonderthataroughmindisrevoltedbythem。Itwas，however，atoncecomicalandtouchant（astheFrenchcallit），toobserveMr。
Johnsonsohabituallywatchfulagainstthissortofbehaviour，thathewasoftenreadytosuspecthimselfofit;andwhenoneaskedhimgently，howhedid？——\"Readytobecomeascoundrel，madam，\"wouldcommonlybetheanswer;
\"withalittlemorespoilingyouwill，Ithink，makemeacompleterascal！\"
Hisdesireofdoinggoodwasnot，however，lessenedbyhisaversiontoasickchamber。Hewouldhavemadeanillmanwellbyanyexpenseorfatigueofhisown，soonerthananyofthecanters。Canter，indeed，washenone：
hewouldforgettoaskpeopleafterthehealthoftheirnearestrelations，andsayinexcuse，\"Thatheknewtheydidnotcare：whyshouldthey？\"sayshe;\"everyoneinthisworldhasasmuchastheycandoincaringforthemselves，andfewhaveleisurereallytoTHINKoftheirneighbours’
distresses，howevertheymaydelighttheirtongueswithTALKINGofthem。\"
ThenaturaldepravityofmankindandremainsoforiginalsinweresofixedinMr。Johnson’sopinion，thathewasindeedamostacuteobserveroftheireffects;andusedtosaysometimes，halfinjest，halfinearnest，thattheyweretheremainsofhisoldtutorMandeville’sinstructions。Asabook，however，hetookcarealwaysloudlytocondemnthe\"FableoftheBees，\"butnotwithoutadding，\"thatitwastheworkofathinkingman。\"
IhaveinformerdaysheardDr。CollieroftheCommonsloudlycondemnedforutteringsentiments，whichtwentyyearsafterIhaveheardasloudlyapplaudedfromthelipsofDr。Johnson，concerningthewell—knownwriterofthatcelebratedwork：butifpeoplewilllivelongenoughinthiscapriciousworld，suchinstancesofpartialitywillshockthemlessandlessbyfrequentrepetition。Mr。Johnsonknewmankind，andwishedtomendthem：hetherefore，tothepietyandpurereligion，theuntaintedintegrity，andscrupulousmoralsofmyearliestandmostdisinterestedfriend，judiciouslycontrivedtojoinacautiousattentiontothecapacityofhishearers，andaprudentresolutionnottolessentheinfluenceofhislearningandvirtue，bycasualfreaksofhumourandirregularstartsofill—managedmerriment。Hedidnotwishtoconfound，buttoinformhisauditors;andthoughhedidnotappeartosolicitbenevolence，healwayswishedtoretainauthority，andleavehiscompanyimpressedwiththeideathatitwashistoteachinthisworld，andtheirstolearn。Whatwonder，then，thatallshouldreceivewithdocilityfromJohnsonthosedoctrines，which，propagatedbyCollier，theydroveawayfromthemwithshouts！Dr。
Johnsonwasnotgrave，however，becauseheknewnothowtobemerry。Nomanlovedlaughingbetter，andhisveinofhumourwasrichandapparentlyinexhaustible;thoughDr。Goldsmithsaidoncetohim，\"Weshouldchangecompanionsoftener，weexhaustoneanother，andshallsoonbebothofuswornout。\"PoorGoldsmithwastohim，indeed，liketheearthenpottotheirononeinFontaine’sfables;ithadbeenbetterforHIM，perhaps，thattheyhadchangedcompanionsoftener;yetnoexperienceofhisantagonist’sstrengthhinderedhimfromcontinuingthecontest。HeusedtoremindmealwaysofthatverseinBerni——
\"Ilpoveruomochenonsen’eraaccorto，Andavacombattendo——ederamorto。\"
Mr。Johnsonmadehimacomicalansweroneday，whenseemingtorepineatthesuccessofBeattie’s\"EssayonTruth\"——\"Here’ssuchastir，\"saidhe，\"aboutafellowthathaswrittenonebook，andIhavewrittenmany。\"\"Ah，Doctor，\"sayshisfriend，\"theregotwo—and—fortysixpences，youknow，tooneguinea。\"
TheyhadspentaneveningwithEatonGraham，too，Irememberhearingitwasatsometavern;hisheartwasopen，andhebeganinvitingaway;toldwhathecoulddotomakehiscollegeagreeable，andbeggedthevisitmightnotbedelayed。Goldsmiththankedhim，andproposedsettingoutwithMr。
JohnsonforBuckinghamshireinafortnight。\"Nay，hold，Dr。MINOR，\"saystheother，\"Ididnotinviteyou。\"
Manysuchmortificationsaroseinthecourseoftheirintimacy，tobesure，butfewmorelaughablethanwhenthenewspapershadtackedthemtogetherasthepedantandhisflattererinLove’sLabour’sLost。Dr。Goldsmithcametohisfriend，frettingandfoaming，andvowingvengeanceagainsttheprinter，etc。，tillMr。Johnson，tiredofthebustle，anddesiroustothinkofsomethingelse，criedoutatlast，\"Why，whatwould’stthouhave，dearDoctor！whotheplagueishurtwithallthisnonsense？andhowisamantheworse，Iwonder，inhishealth，purse，orcharacter，forbeingcalledHolofernes？\"\"Idonotknow，\"repliestheother，\"howyoumayrelishbeingcalledHolofernes，butIdonotlikeatleasttoplayGoodmanDull。\"
Dr。Johnsonwasindeedfamousfordisregardingpublicabuse。Whenthepeoplecriticisedandansweredhispamphlets，papers，etc。，\"Why，now，thesefellowsareonlyadvertisingmybook，\"hewouldsay;\"itissurelybetteramanshouldbeabusedthanforgotten。\"WhenChurchillnettledhim，however，itiscertainhefeltthesting，orthatpoet’sworkswouldhardlyhavebeenleftoutoftheedition。Ofthat，however，Ihavenorighttodecide;thebooksellers，perhaps，didnotputChurchillontheirlist。I
knowMr。Johnsonwasexceedinglyzealoustodeclarehowverylittlehehadtodowiththeselection。Churchill’sworks，too，mightpossiblyberejectedbyhimuponahigherprinciple;thehighest，indeed，ifhewasinspiredbythesamelaudablemotivewhichmadehimrejecteveryauthorityforawordinhisdictionarythatcouldonlybegleanedfromwritersdangeroustoreligionormorality。\"Iwouldnot，\"saidhe，\"sendpeopletolookforwordsinabook，thatbysuchacasualseizureofthemindmightchancetomisleaditforever。\"Inconsequenceofthisdelicacy，Mrs。
Montagueonceobserved，\"Thatwereanangeltogivetheimprimatur，Dr。
Johnson’sworkswereamongthoseveryfewwhichwouldnotbelessenedbyaline。\"Thatsuchpraisefromsuchaladyshoulddelighthim，isnotstrange;insensibilityinacaselikethatmusthavebeentheresultaloneofarroganceactingonstupidity。Mr。Johnsonhadindeednodisliketothecommendationswhichheknewhedeserved。\"Whatsignifiesprotestingsoagainstflattery！\"wouldhecry;\"whenapersonspeakswellofone，itmustbeeithertrueorfalse，youknow;iftrue，letusrejoiceinhisgoodopinion;ifhelies，itisaproofatleastthathelovesmoretopleasemethantositsilentwhenheneedsaynothing。\"
Thatnaturalroughnessofhismannersooftenmentionedwould，notwithstandingtheregularityofhisnotions，burstthroughthemallfromtimetotime;andheoncebadeaverycelebratedlady，whopraisedhimwithtoomuchzeal，perhaps，orperhapstoostronganemphasis（whichalwaysoffendedhim），\"ConsiderwhatherflatterywasworthbeforeshechokedHIM
withit。\"Afewmorewinterspassedinthetalkingworldshowedhimthevalueofthatfriend’scommendations，however;andhewasverysorryforthedisgustingspeechhemadeher。
IusedtothinkMr。Johnson’sdeterminedpreferenceofacold，monotonoustalkeroveranemphaticalandviolentonewouldmakehimquiteafavouriteamongthemenofton，whoseinsensibility，oraffectationofperpetualcalmness，certainlydidnotgivetohimtheoffenceitdoestomany。Heloved\"conversationwithouteffort，\"hesaid;andtheencomiumsIhaveheardhimsooftenpronounceonthemannersofTophamBeauclerinsocietyconstantlyendedinthatpeculiarpraise，that\"itwaswithoutEFFORT。\"
WeweretalkingofRichardson，whowrote\"Clarissa。\"\"YouthinkIloveflattery，\"saysDr。Johnson，\"andsoIdo;butalittletoomuchalwaysdisgustsme。ThatfellowRichardson，onthecontrary，couldnotbecontentedtosailquietlydownthestreamofreputationwithoutlongingtotastethefrothfromeverystrokeoftheoar。\"
Withregardtoslightinsultsfromnewspaperabuse，Ihavealreadydeclaredhisnotions。\"Theystingone，\"sayshe，\"butasaflystingsahorse;andtheeaglewillnotcatchflies。\"Heoncetoldme，however，thatCummyns，thefamousQuaker，whosefriendshiphevaluedveryhighly，fellasacrificetotheirinsults，havingdeclaredonhisdeath—bedtoDr。Johnsonthatthepainofananonymousletter，writteninsomeofthecommonprintsoftheday，fastenedonhisheart，andthrewhimintotheslowfeverofwhichhedied。
NorwasCummynstheonlyvaluablemembersolosttosociety。Hawkesworth，thepious，thevirtuous，andthewise，forwantofthatfortitudewhichcastsashieldbeforethemeritsofhisfriend，fellalamentedsacrificetowantonmaliceandcruelty，Iknownothowprovoked;butallinturnfeelthelashofcensureinacountrywhere，aseverybabyisallowedtocarryawhip，nopersoncanescapeexceptbychance。Theunpublishedcrimes，unknowndistresses，andevendeathitself，however，dailyoccurringinlessliberalgovernmentsandlessfreenations，soonteachonetocontentoneselfwithsuchpettygrievances，andmakeoneacknowledgethattheundistinguishingseverityofnewspaperabusemayinsomemeasurediminishthediffusionofviceandfollyinGreatBritain，andwhiletheyfrightdelicatemindsintoforcedrefinementsandaffectedinsipidity，theyareusefultothegreatcausesofvirtueinthesoulandlibertyintheState;andthoughsensibilityoftensinksundertheroughnessoftheirprescriptions，itwouldbenogoodpolicytotakeawaytheirlicence。
KnowingthestateofMr。Johnson’snerves，andhoweasilytheywereaffected，Iforborereadinginanewmagazine，oneday，thedeathofaSamuelJohnsonwhoexpiredthatmonth;butmycompanionsnatchingupthebook，sawithimself，andcontrarytomyexpectation，\"Oh！\"saidhe，\"I
hopeDeathwillnowbegluttedwithSamJohnsons，andletmealoneforsometimetocome;Ireadofanothernamesake’sdeparturelastweek。\"ThoughMr。Johnsonwascommonlyaffectedeventoagonyatthethoughtsofafriend’sdying，hetroubledhimselfverylittlewiththecomplaintstheymightmaketohimaboutill—health。\"DearDoctor，\"saidheonedaytoacommonacquaintance，wholamentedthetenderstateofhisINSIDE，\"donotbelikethespider，man，andspinconversationthusincessantlyoutofthyownbowels。\"Itoldhimofanotherfriendwhosufferedgrievouslywiththegout。\"Hewillliveavastmanyyearsforallthat，\"repliedhe，\"andthenwhatsignifieshowmuchhesuffers！Buthewilldieatlast，poorfellow;
there’sthemisery;goutseldomtakesthefortbyacoup—de—main，butturningthesiegeintoablockade，obligesittosurrenderatdiscretion。\"
Aladyhethoughtwellofwasdisorderedinherhealth。\"Whathelphasshecalledin？\"inquiredJohnson。\"Dr。James，sir，\"wasthereply。\"Whatisherdisease？\"\"Oh，nothingpositive;ratheragradualandgentledecline。\"
\"Shewilldie，then，prettydear！\"answeredhe。\"WhenDeath’spalehorserunsawaywithapersononfullspeed，anactivephysicianmaypossiblygivethematurn;butifhecarriesthemonaneven，slowpace，down—hill，too！nocarenorskillcansavethem！\"
WhenGarrickwasonhislastsick—bed，noarguments，orrecitalsofsuchfactsasIhadheard，wouldpersuadeMr。Johnsonofhisdanger。Hehadprepossessedhimselfwithanotion，thattosayamanwassickwasverynearwishinghimso;andfewthingsoffendedhimmorethanprognosticatingeventhedeathofanordinaryacquaintance。\"Ay，ay，\"saidhe，\"Swiftknewtheworldprettywellwhenhesaidthat——
’Somediremisfortunetoportend，Noenemycanmatchafriend。’\"
Thedanger，then，ofMr。Garrick，orofMr。Thrale，whomhelovedbetter，wasanimagewhichnoonedurstpresentbeforehisview;healwayspersistedinthepossibilityandhopeoftheirrecoveringdisordersfromwhichnohumancreaturesbyhumanmeansaloneeverdidrecover。Hisdistressfortheirlosswasforthatveryreasonpoignanttoexcess。Buthisfearsofhisownsalvationwereexcessive。HistrulytolerantspiritandChristiancharity，whichHOPETHALLTHINGS，andBELIEVETHALLTHINGS，madehimrelysecurelyonthesafetyofhisfriends;whilehisearnestaspirationafterablessedimmortalitymadehimcautiousofhisownsteps，andtimorousconcerningtheirconsequences。Heknewhowmuchhadbeengiven，andfilledhismindwithfanciesofhowmuchwouldberequired，tillhisimpressedimaginationwasoftendisturbedbythem，andhishealthsufferedfromthesensibilityofhistootenderconscience。ArealChristianisSOapttofindhistalkabovehispowerofperformance！
Mr。Johnsondidnot，however，giveintoridiculousrefinementseitherofspeculationorpractice，orsufferhimselftobedeludedbyspeciousappearances。\"Ihavehaddustthrowninmyeyestoooften，\"wouldhesay，\"tobeblindedso。Letusneverconfoundmattersofbeliefwithmattersofopinion。\"Someoneurgedinhispresencethepreferenceofhopetopossession;andasIrememberproducedanItaliansonnetonthesubject。
\"Letusnot，\"criesJohnson，\"amuseourselveswithsubtletiesandsonnets，whenspeakingabouthope，whichisthefolloweroffaithandtheprecursorofeternity;butifyouonlymeanthoseair—builthopeswhichto—dayexciteandto—morrowwilldestroy，letustalkaway，andrememberthatweonlytalkofthepleasuresofhope;wefeelthoseofpossession，andnomaninhissenseswouldchangethelastforthefirst。Suchhopeisamerebubble，thatbyagentlebreathmaybeblowntowhatsizeyouwillalmost，butaroughblastburstsitatonce。Hopeisanamusementratherthanagood，andadaptedtononebutverytranquilminds。\"Thetruthis，Mr。
Johnsonhatedwhathecalledunprofitablechat;andtoagentlemanwhohaddissertedsometimeaboutthenaturalhistoryofthemouse——\"Iwonderwhatsuchaonewouldhavesaid，\"criedJohnson，\"ifhehadeverhadthelucktoseeaLION！\"
IwellrememberthatatBrighthelmstoneonce，whenhewasnotpresent，Mr。
Beauclercassertedthathewasafraidofspirits;andI，whowassecretlyoffendedatthecharge，askedhim，thefirstopportunityIcouldfind，\"whatgroundhehadevergiventotheworldforsuchareport？\"\"Ican，\"
repliedhe，\"recollectnothingneareritthanmytellingDr。Lawrence，manyyearsago，thatalongtimeaftermypoormother’sdeathIheardhervoicecall’SAM！’\"\"WhatanswerdidtheDoctormaketoyourstory，sir？\"saidI。
\"Noneintheworld，\"repliedhe，andsuddenlychangedtheconversation。
Now，asMr。Johnsonhadamostunshakenfaith，withoutanymixtureofcredulity，thisstorymusteitherhavebeenstrictlytrue，orhispersuasionofitstruththeeffectofdisorderedspirits。Irelatetheanecdotepreciselyashetolditme，butcouldnotprevailonhimtodrawoutthetalkintolengthforfurthersatisfactionofmycuriosity。
AsJohnsonwasthefirmestofbelievers，withoutbeingcredulous，sohewasthemostcharitableofmortals，withoutbeingwhatwecallanactivefriend。Admirableatgivingcounsel，nomansawhiswaysoclearly;buthewouldnotstirafingerfortheassistanceofthosetowhomhewaswillingenoughtogiveadvice：besidesthat，hehadprinciplesoflaziness，andcouldbeindolentbyrule。Tohinderyourdeath，orprocureyouadinner，Imeanifreallyinwantofone;hisearnestness，hisexertionscouldnotbeprevented，thoughhealthandpurseandeasewerealldestroyedbytheirviolence。Ifyouwantedaslightfavour，youmustapplytopeopleofotherdispositions;fornotastepwouldJohnsonmovetoobtainamanavoteinasociety，torepayacomplimentwhichmightbeusefulorpleasing，towritealetterofrequest，ortoobtainahundredpoundsayearmoreforafriend，whoperhapshadalreadytwoorthree。Noforcecouldurgehimtodiligence，noimportunitycouldconquerhisresolutionofstandingstill。
\"Whatgoodarewedoingwithallthisado？\"wouldhesay;\"dearestlady，let’shearnomoreofit！\"Ihave，however，morethanonceinmylifeforcedhimonsuchservices，butwithextremedifficulty。
WepartedathisdooroneeveningwhenIhadteasedhimformanyweekstowritearecommendatoryletterofalittleboytohisschoolmaster;andafterhehadfaithfullypromisedtodothisprodigiousfeatbeforewemetagain——\"DonotforgetdearDick，sir，\"saidI，ashewentoutofthecoach。
Heturnedback，stoodstilltwominutesonthecarriage—step——\"WhenIhavewrittenmyletterforDick，Imayhangmyself，mayn’tI？\"andturnedawayinaveryillhumourindeed。
Thoughaptenoughtotakesuddenlikingsoraversionstopeopleheoccasionallymet，hewouldneverhastilypronounceupontheircharacter;
andwhen，seeinghimjustlydelightedwithSolander’sconversation，I
observedoncethathewasamanofgreatpartswhotalkedfromafullmind—
—\"Itmaybeso，\"saidMr。Johnson，\"butyoucannotknowityet，norI
neither：thepumpworkswell，tobesure！buthow，Iwonder，arewetodecideinsoveryshortanacquaintance，whetheritissuppliedbyaspringorareservoir？\"Healwaysmadeagreatdifferenceinhisesteembetweentalentsanderudition;andwhenhesawapersoneminentforliterature，thoughwhollyunconversible，itfrettedhim。\"Teachingsuchtonies，\"saidhetomeoneday，\"islikesettingalady’sdiamondsinlead，whichonlyobscuresthelustreofthestone，andmakesthepossessorashamedon’t。\"
Usefulandwhatwecalleverydayknowledgehadthemostofhisjustpraise。
\"Letyourboylearnarithmetic，dearmadam，\"washisadvicetothemotherofarichyoungheir：\"hewillnotthenbeapreytoeveryrascalwhichthistownswarmswith。Teachhimthevalueofmoney，andhowtoreckonit;
ignorancetoawealthyladofone—and—twentyisonlysomuchfattoasicksheep：itjustservestocalltheROOKSabouthim。\"
\"AndallthatpreyinviceorfollyJoytoseetheirquarryfly;
Herethegamesterlightandjolly，Therethelendergraveandsly。\"
Theseimprovisolines，makingpartofalongcopyofverseswhichmyregardfortheyouthonwhosebirthdaytheywerewrittenobligesmetosuppress，lesttheyshouldgivehimpain，showamindofsurprisingactivityandwarmth;themoresoashewaspastseventyyearsofagewhenhecomposedthem;butnothingmorecertainlyoffendedMr。Johnsonthantheideaofaman’sfaculties（mentalones，Imean）decayingbytime。\"Itisnottrue，sir，\"wouldhesay;\"whatamancouldoncedo，hewouldalwaysdo，unless，indeed，bydintofviciousindolence，andcompliancewiththenephewsandthenieceswhocrowdroundanoldfellow，andhelptotuckhimin，tillhe，contentedwiththeexchangeoffameforease，e’enresolvestoletthemsetthepillowsathisback，andgivesnofurtherproofofhisexistencethanjusttosuckthejellythatprolongsit。\"
ForsuchalifeorsuchadeathDr。JohnsonwasindeedneverintendedbyProvidence：hismindwaslikeawarmclimate，whichbringseverythingtoperfectionsuddenlyandvigorously，notlikethealembicatedproductionsofartificialfire，whichalwaysbetraythedifficultyofbringingthemforthwhentheirsizeisdisproportionatetotheirflavour。\"JeferoisunRomantoutcommeunautre，maislavien’estpointunRoman，\"saysafamousFrenchwriter;andthiswassocertainlytheopinionoftheauthorofthe\"Rambler，\"thatallhisconversationpreceptstendedtowardsthedispersionofromanticideas，andwerechieflyintendedtopromotethecultivationof\"Thatwhichbeforetheeliesindailylife。\"
MILTON。
Andwhenhetalkedofauthors，hispraisewentspontaneouslytosuchpassagesasaresureinhisownphrasetoleavesomethingbehindthemusefuloncommonoccasions，orobservantofcommonmanners。Forexample，itwasnotthetwoLAST，butthetwoFIRSTvolumesof\"Clarissa\"thatheprized;\"forgivemeasick—bedandadyinglady，\"saidhe，\"andI’llbepatheticmyself。ButRichardsonhadpickedthekerneloflife，\"hesaid，\"whileFieldingwascontentedwiththehusk。\"ItwasnotKingLearcursinghisdaughters，ordeprecatingthestorm，thatIrememberhiscommendationsof;butIago’singeniousmaliceandsubtlerevenge;orPrinceHal’sgaycompliancewiththevicesofFalstaff，whomheallalongdespised。ThoseplayshadindeednorivalsinJohnson’sfavour：\"NomanbutShakespeare，\"
hesaid，\"couldhavedrawnSirJohn。\"
HismannerofcriticisingandcommendingAddison’sprosewasthesameinconversationaswereaditintheprintedstrictures，andmanyoftheexpressionsusedhavebeenheardtofallfromhimoncommonoccasions。Itwasnotwithstandingobservableenough（orIfanciedso）thathedidneverlike，thoughhealwaysthoughtfittopraiseit;andhispraisesresembledthoseofamanwhoextolsthesuperioreleganceofhighpaintedporcelain，whilehehimselfalwayschoosestoeatoffPLATE。Itoldhimsooneday，andheneitherdenieditnorappeareddispleased。
Ofthepatheticinpoetryheneverlikedtospeak，andtheonlypassageI
everheardhimapplaudasparticularlytenderinanycommonbookwasJaneShore’sexclamationinthelastact——
\"Forgiveme！BUTforgiveme！\"
Itwasnot，however，fromthewantofasusceptibleheartthathehatedtocitetenderexpressions，forhewasmorestronglyandmoreviolentlyaffectedbytheforceofwordsrepresentingideascapableofaffectinghimatallthananyothermanintheworld，Ibelieve：andwhenhewouldtrytorepeatthecelebratedProsaEcclesiasticaproMortuis，asitiscalled，beginning\"Diesirae，Diesilla，\"hecouldneverpassthestanzaendingthus，\"Tantuslabornonsitcassus，\"withoutburstingintoafloodoftears;whichsensibilityIusedtoquoteagainsthimwhenhewouldinveighagainstdevotionalpoetry，andprotestthatallreligiousverseswerecoldandfeeble，andunworthythesubject，whichoughttobetreatedwithhigherreverence，hesaid，thaneitherpoetsorpainterscouldpresumetoexciteorbestow。NorcananythingbeastrongerproofofDr。Johnson’spietythansuchanexpression;forhisideaofpoetrywasmagnificentindeed，andveryfullywashepersuadedofitssuperiorityovereveryothertalentbestowedbyheavenonman。Hischapteruponthatparticularsubjectinhis\"Rasselas\"isreallywrittenfromthefulnessofhisheart，andquiteinhisbestmanner，Ithink。Iamnotsosurethatthisistheproperplacetomentionhiswritingthatsurprisinglittlevolumeinaweekortendays’
time，inordertoobtainmoneyforhisjourneytoLichfieldwhenhismotherlayuponherlastsick—bed。
Promptitudeofthought，indeed，andquicknessofexpression，wereamongthepeculiarfelicitiesofJohnson;hisnotionsroseuplikethedragon’steethsowedbyCadmusallreadyclothed，andinbrightarmourtoo，fitforimmediatebattle。Hewastherefore（assomebodyissaidtohaveexpressedit）atremendousconverser，andfewpeopleventuredtotrytheirskillagainstanantagonistwithwhomcontentionwassohopeless。Onegentleman，however，whodinedatanobleman’shouseinhiscompany，andthatofMr。
Thrale，towhomIwasobligedfortheanecdote，waswillingtoenterthelistsindefenceofKingWilliam’scharacter，andhavingopposedandcontradictedJohnsontwoorthreetimespetulantlyenough，themasterofthehousebegantofeeluneasy，andexpectdisagreeableconsequences;toavoidwhichhesaid，loudenoughfortheDoctortohear，\"Ourfriendherehasnomeaningnowinallthis，exceptjusttorelateatclubto—morrowhowheteasedJohnsonatdinnerto—day——thisisalltodohimselfHONOUR。\"
\"No，uponmyword，\"repliedtheother，\"IseenoHONOURinit，whateveryoumaydo。\"\"Well，sir！\"returnedMr。Johnson，sternly，\"ifyoudonotSEE
theHONOUR，IamsureIFEELtheDISGRACE。\"
Ayoungfellow，lessconfidentofhisownabilities，lamentingonedaythathehadlostallhisGreek——\"Ibelieveithappenedatthesametime，sir，\"
saidJohnson，\"thatIlostallmylargeestateinYorkshire。\"
Buthoweverroughlyhemightbesuddenlyprovokedtotreataharmlessexertionofvanity，hedidnotwishtoinflictthepainhegave，andwassometimesverysorrywhenheperceivedthepeopletosmartmorethantheydeserved。\"Howharshlyyoutreatedthatmantoday，\"saidIonce，\"whoharanguedussoaboutgardening。\"\"Iamsorry，\"saidhe，\"ifIvexedthecreature，forthereiscertainlynoharminafellow’srattlingarattle—box，onlydon’tlethimthinkthathethunders。\"TheLincolnshireladywhoshowedhimagrottoshehadbeenmaking，cameoffnobetter，asI
remember。\"Woulditnotbeaprettycoolhabitationinsummer，\"saidshe，\"Mr。Johnson？\"\"Ithinkitwould，madam，\"repliedhe，\"foratoad。\"
Alldesireofdistinction，indeed，hadasureenemyinMr。Johnson。Wemetafrienddrivingsixverysmallponies，andstoppedtoadmirethem。\"Whydoesnobody，\"saidourDoctor，\"beginthefashionofdrivingsixspavinedhorses，allspavinedofthesameleg？Itwouldhaveamightyprettyeffect，andproducethedistinctionofdoingsomethingworsethanthecommonway。\"
WhenMr。Johnsonhadamindtocomplimentanyonehediditwithmoredignitytohimself，andbettereffectuponthecompany，thananyman。I
canrecollectbutfewinstances，indeed，thoughperhapsthatmaybemoremyfaultthanhis。WhenSirJoshuaReynoldslefttheroomoneday，hesaid，\"Theregoesamannottobespoiltbyprosperity。\"AndwhenMrs。MontagueshowedhimsomeChinaplateswhichhadoncebelongedtoQueenElizabeth，hetoldher\"thattheyhadnoreasontobeashamedoftheirpresentpossessor，whowassolittleinferiortothefirst。\"IlikewiserememberthathepronouncedonedayatmyhouseamostloftypanegyricuponJonestheOrientalist，whoseemedlittlepleasedwiththepraise，forwhatcauseI
knownot。Hewasnotatalloffendedwhen，comparingallouracquaintancetosomeanimalorother，wepitchedupontheelephantforhisresemblance，addingthattheproboscisofthatcreaturewaslikehismindmostexactly，strongtobuffeteventhetiger，andpliabletopickupeventhepin。Thetruthis，Mr。Johnsonwasoftengoodhumouredlywillingtojoininchildishamusements，andhatedtobeleftoutofanyinnocentmerrimentthatwasgoingforward。Mr。Murphyalwayssaidhewasincomparableatbuffoonery;
andIverilythink，ifhehadhadgoodeyes，andaformlessinflexible，hewouldhavemadeanadmirablemimic。
HecertainlyrodeonMr。Thrale’soldhunterwithagoodfirmness，andthoughhewouldfollowthehoundsfiftymilesonendsometimes，wouldneverownhimselfeithertiredoramused。\"Ihavenowlearned，\"saidhe，\"byhunting，toperceivethatitisnodiversionatall，norevertakesamanoutofhimselfforamoment：thedogshavelesssagacitythanIcouldhaveprevailedonmyselftosuppose;andthegentlemenoftencalltomenottorideoverthem。Itisverystrange，andverymelancholy，thatthepaucityofhumanpleasureshouldpersuadeusevertocallhuntingoneofthem。\"Hewas，however，proudtobeamongstthesportsmen;andIthinknopraiseeverwentsoclosetohisheartaswhenMr。HamiltoncalledoutonedayuponBrighthelmstoneDowns，\"Why，Johnsonridesaswell，foraughtIsee，asthemostilliteratefellowinEngland。\"
ThoughDr。Johnsonowedhisverylifetoairandexercise，givenhimwhenhisorgansofrespirationcouldscarcelyplay，intheyear1766，yetheeverpersistedinthenotionthatneitherofthemhadanythingtodowithhealth。\"Peopleliveaslong，\"saidhe，\"inPepperAlleyasonSalisburyPlain;andtheylivesomuchhappier，thataninhabitantofthefirstwould，ifheturnedcottager，starvehisunderstandingforwantofconversation，andperishinastateofmentalinferiority。\"
Mr。Johnson，indeed，ashewasaverytalkingmanhimself，hadanideathatnothingpromotedhappinesssomuchasconversation。Afriend’seruditionwascommendedonedayasequallydeepandstrong。\"Hewillnottalk，sir，\"
wasthereply，\"sohislearningdoesnogood，andhiswit，ifhehasit，givesusnopleasure。OutofallhisboastedstoresIneverheardhimforcebutoneword，andthatwordwasRICHARD。\"Withacontemptnotinferiorhereceivedthepraisesofaprettylady’sfaceandbehaviour。
\"Shesaysnothing，sir，\"answersJohnson;\"atalkingblackamoorwerebetterthanawhitecreaturewhoaddsnothingtolife，andbysittingdownbeforeonethusdesperatelysilent，takesawaytheconfidenceoneshouldhaveinthecompanyofherchairifshewereonceoutofit。\"Noonewas，however，lesswillingtobeginanydiscoursethanhimself。Hisfriend，Mr。ThomasTyers，saidhewasliketheghosts，whoneverspeaktilltheyarespokento：andhelikedtheexpressionsowell，thatheoftenrepeatedit。Hehad，indeed，nonecessitytoleadthestreamofchattoafavouritechannel，thathisfulnessonthesubjectmightbeshownmoreclearlywhateverwasthetopic;andheusuallyleftthechoicetoothers。Hisinformationbestenlightened，hisargumentstrengthened，andhiswitmadeiteverremembered。Ofhimitmighthavebeensaid，asheoftendelightedtosayofEdmundBurke，\"thatyoucouldnotstandfiveminuteswiththatmanbeneathashedwhileitrained，butyoumustbeconvincedyouhadbeenstandingwiththegreatestmanyouhadeveryetseen。\"
Aswehadbeensaying，oneday，thatnosubjectfailedofreceivingdignityfromthemannerinwhichMr。Johnsontreatedit，aladyatmyhousesaidshewouldmakehimtalkaboutlove，andtookhermeasuresaccordingly，deridingthenovelsofthedaybecausetheytreatedaboutlove。\"Itisnot，\"repliedourphilosopher，\"becausetheytreat，asyoucallit，aboutlove，butbecausetheytreatofnothing，thattheyaredespicable。Wemustnotridiculeapassionwhichhewhoneverfeltneverwashappy，andhewholaughsatneverdeservestofeel——apassionwhichhascausedthechangeofempiresandthelossofworlds——apassionwhichhasinspiredheroismandsubduedavarice。\"Hethoughthehadalreadysaidtoomuch。\"Apassion，inshort，\"addedhe，withanalteredtone，\"thatconsumesmeawayformyprettyFannyhere，andsheisverycruel，\"speakingofanotherladyintheroom。Hetoldus，however，inthecourseofthesamechat，howhisnegroFrancishadbeeneminentforhissuccessamongthegirls。Seeingusalllaugh，\"Imusthaveyouknow，ladies，\"saidhe，\"thatFrankhascarriedtheempireofCupidfurtherthanmostmen。WhenIwasinLincolnshiresomanyyearsagoheattendedmethither;andwhenwereturnedhometogether，I
foundthatafemalehaymakerhadfollowedhimtoLondonforlove。\"Franciswasindeednosmallfavouritewithhismaster，whoretained，however，aprodigiousinfluenceoverhismostviolentpassions。
Onthebirthdayofoureldestdaughter，andthatofourfriendDr。Johnson，the17thandthe18thofSeptember，weeveryyearmadeupalittledanceandsupper，todivertourservantsandtheirfriends，puttingthesummer—houseintotheirhandsforthetwoevenings，tofillwithacquaintanceandmerriment。Francisandhiswhitewifewereinvited，ofcourse。Shewaseminentlypretty，andhewasjealous，asmymaidstoldme。
Onthefirstofthesedays’amusements（Iknownotwhatyear）FranktookoffenceatsomeattentionspaidhisDesdemona，andwalkedawaynextmorningtoLondoninwrath。HismasterandIdrivingthesameroadanhourafter，overtookhim。\"Whatisthematter，child，\"saysDr。Johnson，\"thatyouleaveStreathamto—day。ARTSICK？\"\"Heisjealous，\"whisperedI。\"Areyoujealousofyourwife，youstupidblockhead？\"criesouthismasterinanothertone。Thefellowhesitated，and，\"TOBESURE，SIR，IDON’TQUITE
APPROVE，SIR，\"wasthestammeringreply。\"Why，whatdotheyDOtoher，man？Dothefootmenkissher？\"\"No，sir，no！KissmyWIFE，sir！IHOPE
NOT，sir。\"\"Why，whatDOtheydotoher，mylad？\"\"Why，nothing，sir，I’msure，sir。\"\"Why，thengobackdirectlyanddance，youdog，do;andlet’shearnomoreofsuchemptylamentations。\"Ibelieve，however，thatFranciswasscarcelyasmuchtheobjectofMr。Johnson’spersonalkindnessastherepresentativeofDr。Bathurst，forwhosesakehewouldhavelovedanybodyoranything。
Whenhespokeofnegroes，healwaysappearedtothinkthemofaracenaturallyinferior，andmadefewexceptionsinfavourofhisown;yetwheneverdisputesaroseinhishouseholdamongthemanyoddinhabitantsofwhichitconsisted，healwayssidedwithFrancisagainsttheothers，whomhesuspected（notunjustly，Ibelieve）ofgreatermalignity。Itseemsatoncevexatiousandcomicaltoreflectthatthedissensionsthosepeoplechosetoliveconstantlyindistressedandmortifiedhimexceedingly。Hereallywasoftentimesafraidofgoinghome，becausehewassosuretobemetatthedoorwithnumberlesscomplaints;andheusedtolamentpatheticallytome，andtoMr。Sastres，theItalianmaster，whowasmuchhisfavourite，thattheymadehislifemiserablefromtheimpossibilityhefoundofmakingtheirshappy，wheneveryfavourhebestowedononewaswormwoodtotherest。If，however，Iventuredtoblametheiringratitude，andcondemntheirconduct，hewouldinstantlysetaboutsofteningtheoneandjustifyingtheother;andfinishedcommonlybytellingme，thatIknewnothowtomakeallowancesforsituationsIneverexperienced。
\"Totheenoreasonwhoknow’stonlygood，Butevilhastnottried。\"
MILTON。
Dr。Johnsonknewhowtobemerrywithmeanpeople，too，aswellastobesadwiththem;helovedthelowerranksofhumanitywitharealaffection：
andthoughhistalentsandlearningkepthimalwaysinthesphereofupperlife，yetheneverlostsightofthetimewhenheandtheysharedpainandpleasureincommon。Aboroughelectiononceshowedmehistolerationofboisterousmirth，andhiscontentinthecompanyofpeoplewhomonewouldhavethoughtatfirstsightlittlecalculatedforhissociety。Aroughfellowonedayonsuchanoccasion，ahatterbytrade，seeingMr。Johnson’sbeaverinastateofdecay，seizeditsuddenlywithonehand，andclappinghimonthebackwiththeother，\"Ah，MasterJohnson，\"sayshe，\"thisisnotimetobethinkingaboutHATS。\"\"No，no，sir，\"repliedourDoctorinacheerfultone，\"hatsareofnousenow，asyousay，excepttothrowupintheairandhuzzawith，\"accompanyinghiswordswithatrueelectionhalloo。
Butitwasneveragainstpeopleofcoarselifethathiscontemptwasexpressed，whilepovertyofsentimentinmenwhoconsideredthemselvestobecompanyforTHEPARLOUR，ashecalledit，waswhathecouldnotbear。A
veryignorantyoungfellow，whohadplaguedusallfornineortenmonths，diedatlastconsumptive。\"Ithink，\"saidMr。Johnson，whenheheardthenews，\"IamafraidIshouldhavebeenmoreconcernedforthedeathoftheDOG;but——\"（hesitatingawhile）\"Iamnotwrongnowinallthis，forthedogacteduptohischaracteroneveryoccasionthatweknow;butthatdunceofafellowhelpedforwardthegeneraldisgraceofhumanity。\"\"Why，dearsir，\"saidI，\"howoddyouare！youhaveoftensaidtheladwasnotcapableofreceivingfurtherinstruction。\"\"Hewas，\"repliedtheDoctor，\"likeacorkedbottle，withadropofdirtywaterinit，tobesure;onemightpumpuponitforeverwithoutthesmallesteffect;butwheneverymethodtoopenandcleanithadbeentried，youwouldnothavemegrievethatthebottlewasbrokeatlast。\"
Thiswasthesameyouthwhotoldushehadbeenreading\"LuciusFlorus;\"
FlorusDelphiniwasthephrase。\"Andmymother，\"saidhe，\"thoughtithadsomethingtodowithDelphos;butofthatIknownothing。\"\"WhofoundedRome，then？\"inquiredMr。Thrale。Theladreplied，\"Romulus。\"\"AndwhosucceededRomulus？\"saidI。Alongpause，andapparentlydistressfulhesitation，followedthedifficultquestion。\"Whywillyouaskhimintermsthathedoesnotcomprehend？\"saidMr。Johnson，enraged。\"YoumightaswellbidhimtellyouwhophlebotomisedRomulus。Thisfellow’sdulnessiselastic，\"continuedhe，\"andallwedoisbutlikekickingatawoolsack。\"
Thepainshetook，however，toobtaintheyoungmanmorepatientinstructorsweremany，andoftentimesrepeated。Hewasputunderthecareofaclergymaninadistantprovince;andMr。Johnsonusedbothtowriteandtalktohisfriendsconcerninghiseducation。ItwasonthatoccasionthatIrememberhissaying，\"AboyshouldneverbesenttoEtonorWestminsterSchoolbeforeheistwelveyearsoldatleast;forifinhisyearsofbabyhoodheescapesthatgeneralandtranscendentknowledgewithoutwhichlifeisperpetuallyputtoastand，hewillnevergetitatapublicschool，where，ifhedoesnotlearnLatinandGreek，helearnsnothing。\"Mr。Johnsonoftensaid，\"thattherewastoomuchstresslaiduponliteratureasindispensablynecessary：thereissurelynoneedthateverybodyshouldbeascholar，nocallthateveryoneshouldsquarethecircle。Ourmannerofteaching，\"saidhe，\"crampsandwarpsmanyamind，whichifleftmoreatlibertywouldhavebeenrespectableinsomeway，thoughperhapsnotinthat。Welopourtrees，andprunethem，andpinchthemabout，\"hewouldsay，\"andnailthemtightuptothewall，whileagoodstandardisatlasttheonlythingforbearinghealthyfruit，thoughitcommonlybeginslater。Letthepeoplelearnnecessaryknowledge;letthemlearntocounttheirfingers，andtocounttheirmoney，beforetheyarecaringfortheclassics;for，\"saysMr。Johnson，\"thoughIdonotquiteagreewiththeproverb，thatNullumnumenabestsisitprudentia，yetwemayverywellsay，thatNullumnumenadest——nisitprudentia。\"
Wehadbeenvisitingatalady’shouse，whomaswereturnedsomeofthecompanyridiculedforherignorance。\"Sheisnotignorant，\"saidhe，\"I
believe，ofanythingshehasbeentaught，orofanythingsheisdesiroustoknow：andIsupposeifonewantedalittleRUNTEA，shemightbeaproperpersonenoughtoapplyto。\"
WhenIrelatethesevariousinstancesofcontemptuousbehaviourshowntoavarietyofpeople，IamawarethatthosewhotillnowhaveheardlittleofMr。Johnsonwillherecryoutagainsthisprideandhisseverity;yetI
havebeenascarefulasIcouldtotellthemthatallhedidwasgentle，ifallhesaidwasrough。HadIgivenanecdotesofhisactionsinsteadofhiswords，weshould，Iamsure，havehadnothingonrecordbutactsofvirtuedifferentlymodified，asdifferentoccasionscalledthatvirtueforth：andamongalltheninebiographicalessaysorperformanceswhichIhaveheardwillatlastbewrittenaboutdearDr。Johnson，nomeanorwretched，nowickedorevenslightlyculpableactionwill，Itrust，befound，toproduceandputinthescaleagainstalifeofseventyyears，spentintheuniformpracticeofeverymoralexcellenceandeveryChristianperfection，savehumilityalone，saysacritic，butthatIthinkMUSTbeexcepted。Hewasnot，however，wantingeveninthattoadegreeseldomattainedbyman，whenthedutiesofpietyorcharitycalleditforth。
LowlytowardsGod，anddociletowardstheChurch;implicitinhisbeliefoftheGospel，andeverrespectfultowardsthepeopleappointedtopreachit;
tenderoftheunhappy，andaffectionatetothepoor，letnoonehastilycondemnasproudacharacterwhichmayperhapssomewhatjustlybecensuredasarrogant。Itmust，however，berememberedagain，thateventhisarrogancewasnevershownwithoutsomeintention，immediateorremote，ofmendingsomefaultorconveyingsomeinstruction。HadImeanttomakeapanegyriconMr。Johnson’swell—knownexcellences，Ishouldhavetoldhisdeedsonly，nothiswords——sincerelyprotesting，thatasIneversawhimoncedoawrongthing，sowehadaccustomedourselvestolookuponhimalmostasanexceptedbeing：andIshouldasmuchhaveexpectedinjusticefromSocrates，orimpietyfromPaschal，astheslightestdeviationfromtruthandgoodnessinanytransactiononemightbeengagedinwithSamuelJohnson。Hisattentiontoveracitywaswithoutequalorexample：andwhenImentionedClarissaasaperfectcharacter;\"Onthecontrary，\"saidhe，\"youmayobservethereisalwayssomethingwhichshepreferstotruth。
Fielding’sAmeliawasthemostpleasingheroineofalltheromances，\"hesaid，\"butthatvilebrokennose，nevercured，ruinedthesaleofperhapstheonlybook，whichbeingprintedoffbetimesonemorning，aneweditionwascalledforbeforenight。\"
Mr。Johnson’sknowledgeofliteraryhistorywasextensiveandsurprising。
Hekneweveryadventureofeverybookyoucouldnamealmost，andwasexceedinglypleasedwiththeopportunitywhichwritingthe\"Poets’Lives\"
gavehimtodisplayit。Helovedtobesetatwork，andwassorrywhenhecametotheendofthebusinesshewasabout。Idonotfeelsomyselfwithregardtothesesheets：afeverwhichhaspreyedonmewhileIwrotethemoverforthepress，willperhapslessenmypowerofdoingwellthefirst，andprobablythelastworkIshouldeverhavethoughtofpresentingtothepublic。Icoulddoubtlesswishsotoconcludeit，asatleasttoshowmyzealformyfriend，whoselife，asIoncehadthehonourandhappinessofbeingusefulto，Ishouldwishtorecordafewparticulartraitsof，thatthosewhoreadshouldemulatehisgoodness;butfeelingthenecessityofmakingevenvirtueandlearningsuchasHISagreeable，thatallshouldbewarnedagainstsuchcoarsenessofmanners，asdroveevenfromHIMthosewholoved，honoured，andesteemedhim。Hiswife’sdaughter，Mrs。LucyPorter，ofLichfield，whosevenerationforhispersonandcharacterhaseverbeenthegreatestpossible，beingopposedonedayinconversationbyaclergymanwhocameoftentoherhouse，andfeelingsomewhatoffended，criedoutsudden，\"Why，Mr。Pearson，\"saidshe，\"youarejustlikeDr。Johnson，I
think：IdonotmeanthatyouareamanofthegreatestcapacityinalltheworldlikeDr。Johnson，butthatyoucontradictoneeverywordonespeaks，justlikehim。\"
Mr。Johnsontoldmethestory：hewaspresentatthegivingofthereproof。Itwas，however，observable，thatwithallhisoddseverity，hecouldnotkeepevenindifferentpeoplefromteasinghimwithunaccountableconfessionsofsillyconduct，whichonewouldthinktheywouldscarcelyhavehadinclinationtorevealeventotheirtenderestandmostintimatecompanions;anditwasfromtheseunaccountablevolunteersinsinceritythathelearnedtowarntheworldagainstfollieslittleknown，andseldomthoughtonbyothermoralists。
Muchofhiseloquence，andmuchofhislogic，haveIheardhimusetopreventmenfrommakingvowsontrivialoccasions;andwhenhesawapersonoddlyperplexedaboutaslightdifficulty，\"Letthemanalone，\"hewouldsay，\"andtormenthimnomoreaboutit;thereisavowinthecase，Iamconvinced;butisitnotverystrangethatpeopleshouldbeneitherafraidnorashamedofbringinginGodAlmightythusateveryturnbetweenthemselvesandtheirdinner？\"WhenIaskedwhatgroundhehadforsuchimaginations，heinformedme，\"Thatayoungladyoncetoldhiminconfidencethatshecouldneverpersuadeherselftobedressedagainstthebellrungfordinner，tillshehadmadeavowtoheaventhatshewouldnevermorebeabsentfromthefamilymeals。\"
ThestrangestapplicationsintheworldwerecertainlymadefromtimetotimetowardsMr。Johnson，whobythatmeanshadaninexhaustiblefundofancecdote，andcould，ifhepleased，tellthemostastonishingstoriesofhumanfollyandhumanweaknessthateverwereconfidedtoanymannotaconfessorbyprofession。
Oneday，whenhewasinahumourtorecordsomeofthem，hetoldusthefollowingtale：——\"Aperson，\"saidhe，\"hadfortheselastfiveweeksoftencalledatmydoor，butwouldnotleavehisnameorothermessage，butthathewishedtospeakwithme。Atlastwemet，andhetoldmethathewasoppressedbyscruplesofconscience。Iblamedhimgentlyfornotapplying，astherulesofourChurchdirect，tohisparishpriestorotherdiscreetclergyman;when，aftersomecomplimentsonhispart，hetoldmethathewasclerktoaveryeminenttrader，atwhosewarehousesmuchbusinessconsistedinpackinggoodsinordertogoabroad;thathewasoftentemptedtotakepaperandpackthreadenoughforhisownuse，andthathehadindeeddonesosooften，thathecouldrecollectnotimewhenheeverhadboughtanyforhimself。’Butprobably，’saidI，’yourmasterwaswhollyindifferentwithregardtosuchtrivialemoluments。Youhadbetteraskforitatonce，andsotakeyourtrifleswithcontent。’’Oh，sir！’repliesthevisitor，’mymasterbidmehaveasmuchasIpleased，andwashalfangrywhenItalkedtohimaboutit。’’Thenpray，sir，’saidI，’teasemenomoreaboutsuchairynothings，’andwasgoingontobeveryangry，whenIrecollectedthatthefellowmightbemad，perhaps;soIaskedhim，’Whenheleftthecounting—houseofanevening？’’Atseveno’clock，sir。’’Andwhendoyougotobed，sir？’’Attwelveo’clock。’’Then，’repliedI，’Ihaveatleastlearntthusmuchbymynewacquaintance——thatfivehoursofthefour—and—twentyunemployedareenoughforamantogomadin;soIwouldadviseyou，sir，tostudyalgebra，ifyouarenotanadeptalreadyinit。
YourheadwouldgetlessMUDDY，andyouwillleaveofftormentingyourneighboursaboutpaperandpackthread，whilewealllivetogetherinaworldthatisburstingwithsinandsorrow。’Itisperhapsneedlesstoaddthatthisvisitorcamenomore。\"
Mr。Johnsonhad，indeed，arealabhorrenceofapersonthathadeverbeforehimtreatedalittlethinglikeagreatone;andhequotedthisscrupulousgentlemanwithhispackthreadveryoften，inridiculeofafriendwho，lookingoutonStreathamCommonfromourwindows，oneday，lamentedtheenormouswickednessofthetimesbecausesomebird—catcherswerebusythereonefineSundaymorning。\"WhilehalftheChristianworldispermitted，\"
saidhe，\"todanceandsingandcelebrateSundayasadayoffestivity，howcomesyourPuritanicalspiritsooffendedwithfrivolousandemptydeviationsfromexactness？Whoeverloadslifewithunnecessaryscruples，sir，\"continuedhe，\"provokestheattentionofothersonhisconduct，andincursthecensureofsingularitywithoutreapingtherewardofsuperiorvirtue。\"
Imustnot，amongtheanecdotesofDr。Johnson’slife，omittorelateathingthathappenedtohimoneday，whichhetoldmeofhimself。AshewaswalkingalongtheStrandagentlemansteppedoutofsomeneighbouringtavern，withhisnapkininhishand，andnohat，andstoppinghimascivilyashecould，\"Ibegyourpardon，sir，butyouareDr。Johnson，Ibelieve？\"
\"Yes，sir。\"\"Wehaveawagerdependingonyourreply。Pray，sir，isitirr_e_parableorirrep_air_ablethatoneshouldsay？\"\"TheLAST，Ithink，sir，\"answeredDr。Johnson，\"fortheadverboughttofollowtheverb;butyouhadbetterconsultmy’Dictionary’thanme，forthatwastheresultofmorethoughtthanyouwillnowgivemetimefor。\"\"No，no，\"repliedthegentleman，gaily，\"thebookIhavenocertaintyatallof，buthereistheAUTHOR，towhomIreferred。Ishenot，sir？\"——toafriendwithhim。\"I
havewonmytwentyguineasquitefairly，andammuchobligedtoyou，sir;\"
andsoshakingMr。Johnsonkindlybythehand，hewentbacktofinishhisdinnerordessert。
Anotherstrangethinghetoldmeoncewhichtherewasnodangerofforgetting;howayounggentlemancalledonhimonemorning，andtoldhimthathisfatherhaving，justbeforehisdeath，droppedsuddenlyintotheenjoymentofanamplefortune，he（theson）waswillingtoqualifyhimselfforgenteelsocietybyaddingsomeliteraturetohisotherendowments，andwishedtobeputinaneasywayofobtainingit。Dr。Johnsonrecommendedtheuniversity，\"foryoureadLatin，sir，withFACILITY？\"\"Ireaditalittle，tobesure，sir。\"\"ButdoyoureaditWITHFACILITY，Isay？\"
\"Uponmyword，sir，Idonotverywellknow，butIratherbelievenot。\"
Mr。Johnsonnowbegantorecommendotherbranchesofscience，whenhefoundlanguagesatsuchanimmeasurabledistance，andadvisinghimtostudynaturalhistory，therearosesometalkaboutanimals，andtheirdivisionsintooviparousandviviparous。\"Andthecathere，sir，\"saidtheyouth，whowishedforinstruction;\"prayinwhatclassisshe？\"OurDoctor’spatienceanddesireofdoinggoodbegannowtogivewaytothenaturalroughnessofhistemper。\"Youwoulddowell，\"saidhe，\"tolookforsomepersontobealwaysaboutyou，sir，whoiscapableofexplainingsuchmatters，andnotcometous\"——thereweresomeliteraryfriendspresent，asIrecollect——\"toknowwhetherthecatlayseggsornot。Getadiscreetmantokeepyoucompany：therearesomanywhowouldbegladofyourtableandfiftypoundsayear。\"Theyounggentlemanretired，andinlessthanaweekinformedhisfriendsthathehadfixedonapreceptortowhomnoobjectionscouldbemade;butwhenhenamedassuchoneofthemostdistinguishedcharactersinourageornation，Mr。Johnsonfairlygavehimselfuptoanhonestburstoflaughter;andseeingthisyouthatsuchasurprisingdistancefromcommonknowledgeoftheworld，orofanythinginit，desiredtoseehisvisitornomore。
Hehadnotmuchbetterluckwithtwoboysthatheusedtotellof，towhomhehadtaughttheclassics，\"sothat，\"hesaid，\"theywerenoincompetentormeanscholars。\"Itwasnecessary，however，thatsomethingmorefamiliarshouldbeknown，andhebidthemreadtheHistoryofEngland。Afterafewmonthshadelapsedheaskedthem，\"Iftheycouldrecollectwhofirstdestroyedthemonasteriesinourisland？\"Onemodestlyrepliedthathedidnotknow;theothersaidJESUSCHRIST！
OfthetruthofstorieswhichrancurrentlyaboutthetownconcerningDr。
Johnsonitwasimpossibletobecertain，unlessoneaskedhimhimself，andwhathetold，orsufferedtobetold，beforehisfacewithoutcontradicting，haseverypublicmark，Ithink，ofrealandgenuineauthenticity。Imade，oneday，veryminuteinquiriesaboutthetaleofhisknockingdownthefamousTomOsbornewithhisown\"Dictionary\"intheman’sownhouse。\"Andhowwasthataffair？Inearnest？Dotellme，Mr。
Johnson？\"\"Thereisnothingtotell，dearestlady，butthathewasinsolent，andIbeathim，andthathewasablockhead，andtoldofit，whichIshouldneverhavedone。Sotheblowshavebeenmultiplyingandthewonderthickeningforalltheseyears，asThomaswasneverafavouritewiththepublic。Ihavebeatmanyafellow，buttheresthadthewittoholdtheirtongues。\"
IhaveheardMr。Murphyrelateaverysingularstory，whilehewaspresent，greatlytothecreditofhisuncommonskillandknowledgeoflifeandmanners。Whenfirstthe\"Ramblers\"cameoutinseparatenumbers，astheyweretheobjectsofattentiontomultitudesofpeople，theyhappened，asitseems，particularlytoattractthenoticeofasocietywhometeverySaturdayeveningduringthesummeratRomfordinEssex，andwereknownbythenameoftheBowling—GreenClub。ThesemenseeingonedaythecharacterofLeviculus，thefortune—hunter，orTetrica，theoldmaid：anotherdaysomeaccountofapersonwhospenthislifeinhopingforalegacy，orofhimwhoisalwayspryingintootherfolks’affairs，begansureenoughtothinktheywerebetrayed，andthatsomeofthecoteriesatedowntodiverthimselfbygivingtothepublictheportraitofalltherest。FilledwithwrathagainstthetraitorofRomford，oneofthemresolvedtowritetotheprinter，andinquiretheauthor’sname。SamuelJohnson，wasthereply。Nomorewasnecessary;SamuelJohnsonwasthenameofthecurate，andsoondideachbegintoloadhimwithreproachesforturninghisfriendsintoridiculeinamannersocruelandunprovoked。Invaindidtheguiltlesscurateprotesthisinnocence;onewassurethatAligumeantMr。Twigg，andthatCupiduswasbutanothernameforneighbourBaggs，tillthepoorparson，unabletocontendanylonger，rodetoLondon，andbroughtthemfullsatisfactionconcerningthewriter，who，fromhisownknowledgeofgeneralmanners，quickenedbyavigorousandwarmimagination，hadhappilydelineated，thoughunknowntohimself，themembersoftheBowling—GreenClub。
Mr。MurphylikewiseusedtotellbeforeDr。Johnson，ofthefirsttimeTHEY
met，andtheoccasionoftheirmeeting，whichherelatedthus。Thatbeinginthosedaysengagedinaperiodicalpaper，hefoundhimselfatafriend’shouseoutoftown;andnotbeingdisposedtolosepleasureforthesakeofbusiness，wishedrathertocontenthisbooksellerbysendingsomeunstudiedessaytoLondonbytheservant，thandenyhimselfthecompanyofhisacquaintance，anddriveawaytohischambersforthepurposeofwritingsomethingmorecorrect。HethereforetookupaFrenchJournalLitterairethatlayabouttheroom，andtranslatingsomethinghelikedfromit，sentitawaywithoutfurtherexamination。Time，however，discoveredthathehadtranslatedfromtheFrencha\"Rambler\"ofJohnson’s，whichhadbeenbutamonthbeforetakenfromtheEnglish;andthinkingitrighttomakehimhispersonalexcuses，hewentnextday，andfoundourfriendallcoveredwithsootlikeachimney—sweeper，inalittleroom，withanintolerableheatandstrangesmell，asifhehadbeenactingLungsinthe’Alchymist，’makingaether。\"Come，come，\"saysDr。Johnson，\"dearMur，thestoryisblackenoughnow;anditwasaveryhappydayformethatbroughtyoufirsttomyhouse，andaveryhappymistakeaboutthe’Ramblers。’\"
Dr。Johnsonwasalwaysexceedingfondofchemistry;andwemadeupasortoflaboratoryatStreathamonesummer，anddivertedourselveswithdrawingessencesandcolouringliquors。ButthedangerMr。ThralefoundhisfriendinonedaywhenIwasdriventoLondon，andhehadgotthechildrenandservantsroundhimtoseesomeexperimentsperformed，putanendtoallourentertainment，sowellwasthemasterofthehousepersuadedthathisshortsightwouldhavebeenhisdestructioninamoment，bybringinghimclosetoafierceandviolentflame。Indeed，itwasaperpetualmiraclethathedidnotsethimselfonfirereadinga—bed，aswashisconstantcustom，whenexceedinglyunableeventokeepclearofmischiefwithourbesthelp;andaccordinglythefore—topofallhiswigswereburnedbythecandledowntotheverynetwork。Mr。Thrale’svaletdechambre，forthatreason，keptonealwaysinhisownhands，withwhichhemethimattheparlour—doorwhenthebellhadcalledhimdowntodinner，andashewentupstairstosleepintheafternoon，thesamemanconstantlyfollowedhimwithanother。
Futureexperimentsinchemistry，however，weretoodangerous，andMr。
ThraleinsistedthatweshoulddonomoretowardsfindingthePhilosopher’sStone。
Mr。Johnson’samusementswerethusreducedtothepleasuresofconversationmerely。Andwhatwonderthatheshouldhaveanavidityforthesoledelighthewasabletoenjoy？Nomanconversedsowellasheoneverysubject;nomansoacutelydiscernedthereasonofeveryfact，themotiveofeveryaction，theendofeverydesign。Hewasindeedoftenpainedbytheignoranceorcauselesswonderofthosewhoknewlessthanhimself，thoughheseldomdrovethemawaywithapparentscorn，unlesshethoughttheyaddedpresumptiontostupidity。Anditwasimpossiblenottolaughatthepatienceheshowed，whenaWelshparsonofmeanabilities，thoughagoodheart，struckwithreverenceatthesightofDr。Johnson，whomhehadheardofasthegreatestmanliving，couldnotfindanywordstoanswerhisinquiriesconcerningamottoroundsomebody’sarmswhichadornedatombstoneinRuabonchurchyard。IfIrememberrightthewordswere——
\"HebDw，HebDym，Dwo’diggon。\"
Andthoughofnoverydifficultconstruction，thegentlemanseemedwhollyconfounded，andunabletoexplainthem;tillMr。Johnson，havingpickedoutthemeaningbylittleandlittle，saidtotheman，\"Hebisapreposition，I
believe，sir，isitnot？\"Mycountrymanrecoveringsomespiritsuponthesuddenquestion，criedout，\"SoIhumblypresume，sir，\"verycomically。