Vassilyevwentintothedrawing-roomandsatdown。Therewereanumberofvisitorsintheroombesideshimandhisfriends:twoinfantryofficers,abald,gray-hairedgentlemaninspectacles,twobeardlessyouthsfromtheinstituteofland-surveying,andaverytipsymanwholookedlikeanactor。AlltheyoungladiesweretakenupwiththesevisitorsandpaidnoattentiontoVassilyev。
Onlyoneofthem,dressed_alaAida,_glancedsidewaysathim,smiled,andsaid,yawning:\"Adarkonehascome……\"
Vassilyev’sheartwasthrobbingandhisfaceburned。Hefeltashamedbeforethesevisitorsofhispresencehere,andhefeltdisgustedandmiserable。Hewastormentedbythethoughtthathe,adecentandlovingman(suchashehadhithertoconsideredhimself),hatedthesewomenandfeltnothingbutrepulsiontowardsthem。Hefeltpityneitherforthewomennorthemusiciansnortheflunkeys。
\"ItisbecauseIamnottryingtounderstandthem,\"hethought。
\"Theyareallmorelikeanimalsthanhumanbeings,butofcoursetheyarehumanbeingsallthesame,theyhavesouls。Onemustunderstandthemandthenjudge……\"
\"Grisha,don’tgo,waitforus,\"theartistshoutedtohimanddisappeared。
Themedicalstudentdisappearedsoonafter。
\"Yes,onemustmakeanefforttounderstand,onemustn’tbelikethis……\"Vassilyevwentonthinking。
Andhebegangazingateachofthewomenwithstrainedattention,lookingforaguiltysmile。Buteitherhedidnotknowhowtoreadtheirfaces,ornotoneofthesewomenfeltherselftobeguilty;hereadoneveryfacenothingbutablankexpressionofeverydayvulgarboredomandcomplacency。Stupidfaces,stupidsmiles,harsh,stupidvoices,insolentmovements,andnothingelse。Apparentlyeachofthemhadinthepastaromancewithanaccountantbasedonunderclothesforfiftyroubles,andlookedfornoothercharminthepresentbutcoffee,adinnerofthreecourses,wines,quadrilles,sleepingtilltwointheafternoon……
Findingnoguiltysmile,Vassilyevbegantolookwhethertherewasnotoneintelligentface。Andhisattentionwascaughtbyonepale,rathersleepy,exhausted-lookingface……Itwasadarkwoman,notveryyoung,wearingadresscoveredwithspangles;
shewassittinginaneasy-chair,lookingatthefloorlostinthought。Vassilyevwalkedfromonecorneroftheroomtotheother,and,asthoughcasually,satdownbesideher。
\"Imustbeginwithsomethingtrivial,\"hethought,\"andpasstowhatisserious……\"
\"Whataprettydressyouhave,\"andwithhisfingerhetouchedthegoldfringeofherfichu。
\"Oh,isit?……\"saidthedarkwomanlistlessly。
\"Whatprovincedoyoucomefrom?\"
\"I?Fromadistance……FromTchernigov。\"
\"Afineprovince。It’snicethere。\"
\"Anyplaceseemsnicewhenoneisnotinit。\"
\"It’sapityIcannotdescribenature,\"thoughtVassilyev。\"I
mighttouchherbyadescriptionofnatureinTchernigov。Nodoubtshelovestheplaceifshehasbeenbornthere。\"
\"Areyoudullhere?\"heasked。
\"OfcourseIamdull。\"
\"Whydon’tyougoawayfromhereifyouaredull?\"
\"WhereshouldIgoto?Gobeggingorwhat?\"
\"Beggingwouldbeeasierthanlivinghere。\"
Howdoyouknowthat?Haveyoubegged?\"
\"Yes,whenIhadn’tthemoneytostudy。EvenifIhadn’tanyonecouldunderstandthat。Abeggarisanywayafreeman,andyouareaslave。\"
Thedarkwomanstretched,andwatchedwithsleepyeyesthefootmanwhowasbringingatrayfulofglassesandseltzerwater。
\"Standmeaglassofporter,\"shesaid,andyawnedagain。
\"Porter,\"thoughtVassilyev。\"Andwhatifyourbrotherormotherwalkedinatthismoment?Whatwouldyousay?Andwhatwouldtheysay?Therewouldbeporterthen,Iimagine……\"
Allatoncetherewasthesoundofweeping。Fromtheadjoiningroom,fromwhichthefootmanhadbroughttheseltzerwater,afairmanwitharedfaceandangryeyesraninquickly。Hewasfollowedbythetall,stout\"madam,\"whowasshoutinginashrillvoice:
\"Nobodyhasgivenyouleavetoslapgirlsonthecheeks!Wehavevisitorsbetterthanyou,andtheydon’tfight!Impostor!\"
Ahubbubarose。Vassilyevwasfrightenedandturnedpale。Inthenextroomtherewasthesoundofbitter,genuineweeping,asthoughofsomeoneinsulted。Andherealizedthattherewererealpeoplelivingherewho,likepeopleeverywhereelse,feltinsulted,suffered,wept,andcriedforhelp。Thefeelingofoppressivehateanddisgustgavewaytoanacutefeelingofpityandangeragainsttheaggressor。Herushedintotheroomwheretherewasweeping。Acrossrowsofbottlesonamarble-toptablehedistinguishedasufferingface,wetwithtears,stretchedouthishandstowardsthatface,tookasteptowardsthetable,butatoncedrewbackinhorror。Theweepinggirlwasdrunk。
Ashemadehiswaythoughthenoisycrowdgatheredaboutthefairman,hisheartsankandhefeltfrightenedlikeachild;anditseemedtohimthatinthisalien,incomprehensibleworldpeoplewantedtopursuehim,tobeathim,topelthimwithfilthywords……Hetoredownhiscoatfromthehatstandandranheadlongdownstairs。
V
Leaningagainstthefence,hestoodnearthehousewaitingforhisfriendstocomeout。Thesoundsofthepianosandviolins,gay,reckless,insolent,andmournful,mingledintheairinasortofchaos,andthistangleofsoundsseemedagainlikeanunseenorchestratuningupontheroofs。Ifonelookedupwardsintothedarkness,theblackbackgroundwasallspangledwithwhite,movingspots:itwassnowfalling。Asthesnowflakescameintothelighttheyfloatedroundlazilyintheairlikedown,andstillmorelazilyfelltotheground。ThesnowflakeswhirledthicklyroundVassilyevandhunguponhisbeard,hiseyelashes,hiseyebrows……Thecabmen,thehorses,andthepassers-bywerewhite。
\"Andhowcanthesnowfallinthisstreet!\"thoughtVassilyev。
\"Damnationtakethesehouses!\"
Hislegsseemedtobegivingwayfromfatigue,simplyfromhavingrundownthestairs;hegaspedforbreathasthoughhehadbeenclimbinguphill,hisheartbeatsoloudlythathecouldhearit。
Hewasconsumedbyadesiretogetoutofthestreetasquicklyaspossibleandtogohome,butevenstrongerwashisdesiretowaitforhiscompanionsandventuponthemhisoppressivefeeling。
Therewasmuchhedidnotunderstandinthesehouses,thesoulsofruinedwomenwereamysterytohimasbefore;butitwascleartohimthatthethingwasfarworsethancouldhavebeenbelieved。Ifthatsinfulwomanwhohadpoisonedherselfwascalledfallen,itwasdifficulttofindafittingnameforallthesewhoweredancingnowtothistangleofsoundandutteringlong,loathsomesentences。Theywerenotontheroadtoruin,butruined。
\"Thereisvice,\"hethought,\"butneitherconsciousnessofsinnorhopeofsalvation。Theyaresoldandbought,steepedinwineandabominations,whilethey,likesheep,arestupid,indifferent,anddon’tunderstand。MyGod!MyGod!\"
Itwascleartohim,too,thateverythingthatiscalledhumandignity,personalrights,theDivineimageandsemblance,weredefiledtotheirveryfoundations——\"totheverymarrow,\"asdrunkardssay——andthatnotonlythestreetandthestupidwomenwereresponsibleforit。
Agroupofstudents,whitewithsnow,passedhimlaughingandtalkinggaily;one,atallthinfellow,stopped,glancedintoVassilyev’sface,andsaidinadrunkenvoice:
\"Oneofus!Abiton,oldman?Aha-ha!Nevermind,haveagoodtime!Don’tbedown-hearted,oldchap!\"
HetookVassilyevbytheshoulderandpressedhiscoldwetmustacheagainsthischeek,thenheslipped,staggered,and,wavingbothhands,cried:
\"Holdon!Don’tupset!\"
Andlaughing,herantoovertakehiscompanions。
Throughthenoisecamethesoundoftheartist’svoice:
\"Don’tyoudaretohitthewomen!Iwon’tletyou,damnationtakeyou!Youscoundrels!\"
Themedicalstudentappearedinthedoorway。Helookedfromsidetoside,andseeingVassilyev,saidinanagitatedvoice:
\"Youhere!Itellyouit’sreallyimpossibletogoanywherewithYegor!Whatafellowheis!Idon’tunderstandhim!Hehasgotupascene!Doyouhear?Yegor!\"heshoutedatthedoor。Yegor!\"
\"Iwon’tallowyoutohitwomen!\"theartist’spiercingvoicesoundedfromabove。Somethingheavyandlumberingrolleddownthestairs。Itwastheartistfallingheadlong。Evidentlyhehadbeenpusheddownstairs。
Hepickedhimselfupfromtheground,shookhishat,and,withanangryandindignantface,brandishedhisfisttowardsthetopofthestairsandshouted:
\"Scoundrels!Torturers!Bloodsuckers!Iwon’tallowyoutohitthem!Tohitaweak,drunkenwoman!Oh,youbrutes!……\"
\"Yegor!……Come,Yegor!……\"themedicalstudentbeganimploringhim。\"IgiveyoumywordofhonorI’llnevercomewithyouagain。OnmywordofhonorIwon’t!\"
Littlebylittletheartistwaspacifiedandthefriendswenthomewards。
\"Againstmywillanunknownforce,\"hummedthemedicalstudent,\"hasledmetothesemournfulshores。\"
\"Beholdthemill,\"theartistchimedinalittlelater,\"inruinsnow。Whatalotofsnow,HolyMother!Grisha,whydidyougo?Youareafunk,aregularoldwoman。\"
Vassilyevwalkedbehindhiscompanions,lookedattheirbacks,andthought:
\"Oneoftwothings:eitherweonlyfancyprostitutionisanevil,andweexaggerateit;or,ifprostitutionreallyisasgreatanevilasisgenerallyassumed,thesedearfriendsofmineareasmuchslaveowners,violators,andmurderers,astheinhabitantsofSyriaandCairo,thataredescribedinthe’Neva。’Nowtheyaresinging,laughing,talkingsense,buthaven’ttheyjustbeenexploitinghunger,ignorance,andstupidity?Theyhave——Ihavebeenawitnessofit。Whatistheuseoftheirhumanity,theirmedicine,theirpainting?Thescience,art,andloftysentimentsofthesesoul-destroyersremindmeofthepieceofbaconinthestory。Twobrigandsmurderedabeggarinaforest;theybegansharinghisclothesbetweenthem,andfoundinhiswalletapieceofbacon。’Wellfound,’saidoneofthem,’letushaveabit。’
’Whatdoyoumean?Howcanyou?’criedtheotherinhorror。’Haveyouforgottenthatto-dayisWednesday?’Andtheywouldnoteatit。Aftermurderingaman,theycameoutoftheforestinthefirmconvictionthattheywerekeepingthefast。Inthesamewaythesemen,afterbuyingwomen,gotheirwayimaginingthattheyareartistsandmenofscience……\"
\"Listen!\"hesaidsharplyandangrily。\"Whydoyoucomehere?Isitpossible——isitpossibleyoudon’tunderstandhowhorribleitis?Yourmedicalbookstellyouthateveryoneofthesewomendiesprematurelyofconsumptionorsomething;arttellsyouthatmorallytheyaredeadevenearlier。Everyoneofthemdiesbecauseshehasinhertimetoentertainfivehundredmenonanaverage,letussay。Eachoneofthemiskilledbyfivehundredmen。Youareamongthosefivehundred!Ifeachofyouinthecourseofyourlivesvisitsthisplaceorotherslikeittwohundredandfiftytimes,itfollowsthatonewomaniskilledforeverytwoofyou!Can’tyouunderstandthat?Isn’tithorribletomurder,twoofyou,threeofyou,fiveofyou,afoolish,hungrywoman!Ah!isn’titawful,myGod!\"
\"Iknewitwouldendlikethat,\"theartistsaidfrowning。\"Weoughtnottohavegonewiththisfoolandass!Youimagineyouhavegrandnotionsinyourheadnow,ideas,don’tyou?No,it’sthedevilknowswhat,butnotideas。Youarelookingatmenowwithhatredandrepulsion,butItellyouit’sbetteryoushouldsetuptwentymorehouseslikethosethanlooklikethat。
There’smoreviceinyourexpressionthaninthewholestreet!
Comealong,Volodya,lethimgotothedevil!He’safoolandanass,andthat’sall……\"
\"Wehumanbeingsdomurdereachother,\"saidthemedicalstudent。
\"It’simmoral,ofcourse,butphilosophizingdoesn’thelpit。
Good-by!\"
AtTrubnoySquarethefriendssaidgood-byandparted。Whenhewasleftalone,Vassilyevstroderapidlyalongtheboulevard。Hefeltfrightenedofthedarkness,ofthesnowwhichwasfallinginheavyflakesontheground,andseemedasthoughitwouldcoverupthewholeworld;hefeltfrightenedofthestreetlampsshiningwithpalelightthroughthecloudsofsnow。Hissoulwaspossessedbyanunaccountable,faint-heartedterror。Passers-bycametowardshimfromtimetotime,buthetimidlymovedtooneside;itseemedtohimthatwomen,nonebutwomen,werecomingfromallsidesandstaringathim……
\"It’sbeginning,\"hethought,\"Iamgoingtohaveabreakdown。\"
VI
Athomehelayonhisbedandsaid,shudderingallover:\"Theyarealive!Alive!MyGod,thosewomenarealive!\"
Heencouragedhisimaginationinallsortsofwaystopicturehimselfthebrotherofafallenwoman,orherfather;thenafallenwomanherself,withherpaintedcheeks;anditallmovedhimtohorror。
Itseemedtohimthathemustsettlethequestionatonceatallcosts,andthatthisquestionwasnotonethatdidnotconcernhim,butwashisownpersonalproblem。Hemadeanimmenseeffort,repressedhisdespair,and,sittingonthebed,holdinghisheadinhishands,beganthinkinghowonecouldsaveallthewomenhehadseenthatday。Themethodforattackingproblemsofallkindswas,ashewasaneducatedman,wellknowntohim。And,howeverexcitedhewas,hestrictlyadheredtothatmethod。Herecalledthehistoryoftheproblemanditsliterature,andforaquarterofanhourhepacedfromoneendoftheroomtotheothertryingtorememberallthemethodspracticedatthepresenttimeforsavingwomen。HehadverymanygoodfriendsandacquaintanceswholivedinlodgingsinPetersburg……Amongthemwereagoodmanyhonestandself-sacrificingmen。Someofthemhadattemptedtosavewomen……
\"Allthesenotverynumerousattempts,\"thoughtVassilyev,\"canbedividedintothreegroups。Some,afterbuyingthewomanoutofthebrothel,tookaroomforher,boughtherasewing-machine,andshebecameasemptress。Andwhetherhewantedtoornot,afterhavingboughtherouthemadeherhismistress;thenwhenhehadtakenhisdegree,hewentawayandhandedherintothekeepingofsomeotherdecentmanasthoughshewereathing。
Andthefallenwomanremainedafallenwoman。Others,afterbuyingherout,tookalodgingapartforher,boughttheinevitablesewing-machine,andtriedteachinghertoread,preachingatherandgivingherbooks。Thewomanlivedandsewedaslongasitwasinterestingandanoveltytoher,thengettingbored,beganreceivingmenonthesly,orranawayandwentbackwhereshecouldsleeptillthreeo’clock,drinkcoffee,andhavegooddinners。Thethirdclass,themostardentandself-sacrificing,hadtakenabold,resolutestep。Theyhadmarriedthem。Andwhentheinsolentandspoilt,orstupidandcrushedanimalbecameawife,theheadofahousehold,andafterwardsamother,itturnedherwholeexistenceandattitudetolifeupsidedown,sothatitwashardtorecognizethefallenwomanafterwardsinthewifeandthemother。Yes,marriagewasthebestandperhapstheonlymeans。\"
\"Butitisimpossible!\"Vassilyevsaidaloud,andhesankuponhisbed。\"I,tobeginwith,couldnotmarryone!Todothatonemustbeasaintandbeunabletofeelhatredorrepulsion。ButsupposingthatI,themedicalstudent,andtheartistmasteredourselvesanddidmarrythem——supposetheywereallmarried。
Whatwouldbetheresult?TheresultwouldbethatwhilehereinMoscowtheywerebeingmarried,someSmolenskaccountantwouldbedebauchinganotherlot,andthatlotwouldbestreamingheretofillthevacantplaces,togetherwithothersfromSaratov,Nizhni-Novgorod,Warsaw……AndwhatisonetodowiththehundredthousandinLondon?What’sonetodowiththoseinHamburg?\"
Thelampinwhichtheoilhadburntdownbegantosmoke。
Vassilyevdidnotnoticeit。Hebeganpacingtoandfroagain,stillthinking。Nowheputthequestiondifferently:whatmustbedonethatfallenwomenshouldnotbeneeded?Forthat,itwasessentialthatthemenwhobuythemanddothemtodeathshouldfeelalltheimmoralityoftheirshareinenslavingthemandshouldbehorrified。Onemustsavethemen。
\"Onewon’tdoanythingbyartandscience,thatisclear……\"
thoughtVassilyev。\"Theonlywayoutofitismissionarywork。\"
Andhebegantodreamhowhewouldthenexteveningstandatthecornerofthestreetandsaytoeverypasser-by:\"Whereareyougoingandwhatfor?HavesomefearofGod!\"
Hewouldturntotheapatheticcabmenandsaytothem:\"Whyareyoustayinghere?Whyaren’tyourevolted?Whyaren’tyouindignant?IsupposeyoubelieveinGodandknowthatitisasin,thatpeoplegotohellforit?Whydon’tyouspeak?Itistruethattheyarestrangerstoyou,butyouknoweventheyhavefathers,brotherslikeyourselves……\"
OneofVassilyev’sfriendshadoncesaidofhimthathewasatalentedman。Thereareallsortsoftalents——talentforwriting,talentforthestage,talentforart;buthehadapeculiartalent——atalentfor_humanity_。Hepossessedanextraordinarilyfinedelicatescentforpainingeneral。Asagoodactorreflectsinhimselfthemovementsandvoiceofothers,soVassilyevcouldreflectinhissoulthesufferingsofothers。
Whenhesawtears,hewept;besideasickman,hefeltsickhimselfandmoaned;ifhesawanactofviolence,hefeltasthoughhehimselfwerethevictimofit,hewasfrightenedasachild,andinhisfrightrantohelp。Thepainofothersworkedonhisnerves,excitedhim,rousedhimtoastateoffrenzy,andsoon。
WhetherthisfriendwererightIdon’tknow,butwhatVassilyevexperiencedwhenhethoughtthisquestionwassettledwassomethinglikeinspiration。Hecriedandlaughed,spokealoudthewordsthatheshouldsaynextday,feltaferventloveforthosewhowouldlistentohimandwouldstandbesidehimatthecornerofthestreettopreach;hesatdowntowriteletters,madevowstohimself……
Allthiswaslikeinspirationalsofromthefactthatitdidnotlastlong。Vassilyevwassoontired。ThecasesinLondon,inHamburg,inWarsaw,weigheduponhimbytheirmassasamountainweighsupontheearth;hefeltdispirited,bewildered,inthefaceofthismass;herememberedthathehadnotagiftforwords,thathewascowardlyandtimid,thatindifferentpeoplewouldnotbewillingtolistenandunderstandhim,alawstudentinhisthirdyear,atimidandinsignificantperson;thatgenuinemissionaryworkincludednotonlyteachingbutdeeds……
Whenitwasdaylightandcarriageswerealreadybeginningtorumbleinthestreet,Vassilyevwaslyingmotionlessonthesofa,staringintospace。Hewasnolongerthinkingofthewomen,norofthemen,norofmissionarywork。Hiswholeattentionwasturneduponthespiritualagonywhichwastorturinghim。Itwasadull,vague,undefinedanguishakintomisery,toanextremeformofterrorandtodespair。Hecouldpointtotheplacewherethepainwas,inhisbreastunderhisheart;buthecouldnotcompareitwithanything。Inthepasthehadhadacutetoothache,hehadhadpleurisyandneuralgia,butallthatwasinsignificantcomparedwiththisspiritualanguish。Inthepresenceofthatpainlifeseemedloathsome。Thedissertation,theexcellentworkhehadwrittenalready,thepeopleheloved,thesalvationoffallenwomen——everythingthatonlythedaybeforehehadcaredaboutorbeenindifferentto,nowwhenhethoughtofthemirritatedhiminthesamewayasthenoiseofthecarriages,thescurryingfootstepsofthewaitersinthepassage,thedaylight……Ifatthatmomentsomeonehadperformedagreatdeedofmercyorhadcommittedarevoltingoutrage,hewouldhavefeltthesamerepulsionforbothactions。
Ofallthethoughtsthatstrayedthroughhismindonlytwodidnotirritatehim:onewasthatateverymomenthehadthepowertokillhimself,theotherthatthisagonywouldnotlastmorethanthreedays。Thislastheknewbyexperience。
Afterlyingforawhilehegotupand,wringinghishands,walkedabouttheroom,notasusualfromcornertocorner,butroundtheroombesidethewalls。Ashepassedheglancedathimselfinthelooking-glass。Hisfacelookedpaleandsunken,histempleslookedhollow,hiseyeswerebigger,darker,morestaring,asthoughtheybelongedtosomeoneelse,andtheyhadanexpressionofinsufferablementalagony。
Atmiddaytheartistknockedatthedoor。
\"Grigory,areyouathome?\"heasked。
Gettingnoanswer,hestoodforaminute,pondered,andansweredhimselfinLittleRussian:\"Nay。TheconfoundedfellowhasgonetotheUniversity。\"
Andhewentaway。Vassilyevlaydownonthebedand,thrustinghisheadunderthepillow,begancryingwithagony,andthemorefreelyhistearsflowedthemoreterriblehismentalanguishbecame。Asitbegantogetdark,hethoughtoftheagonizingnightawaitinghim,andwasovercomebyahorribledespair。Hedressedquickly,ranoutofhisroom,and,leavinghisdoorwideopen,fornoobjectorreason,wentoutintothestreet。Withoutaskinghimselfwhereheshouldgo,hewalkedquicklyalongSadovoyStreet。
Snowwasfallingasheavilyasthedaybefore;itwasthawing。
Thrustinghishandsintohissleeves,shudderingandfrightenedatthenoises,atthetrambells,andatthepassers-by,VassilyevwalkedalongSadovoyStreetasfarasSuharevTower;thentotheRedGate;fromthereheturnedofftoBasmannyaStreet。Hewentintoatavernanddrankoffabigglassofvodka,butthatdidnotmakehimfeelbetter。WhenhereachedRazgulyaheturnedtotheright,andstrodealongsidestreetsinwhichhehadneverbeenbeforeinhislife。HereachedtheoldbridgebywhichtheYauzarunsgurgling,andfromwhichonecanseelongrowsoflightsinthewindowsoftheRedBarracks。Todistracthisspiritualanguishbysomenewsensationorsomeotherpain,Vassilyev,notknowingwhattodo,cryingandshuddering,undidhisgreatcoatandjacketandexposedhisbarechesttothewetsnowandthewind。Butthatdidnotlessenhissufferingeither。
Thenhebentdownovertherailofthebridgeandlookeddownintotheblack,yeastyYauza,andhelongedtoplungedownheadforemost;notfromloathingforlife,notforthesakeofsuicide,butinordertobruisehimselfatleast,andbyonepaintoeasetheother。Buttheblackwater,thedarkness,thedesertedbankscoveredwithsnowwereterrifying。Heshiveredandwalkedon。HewalkedupanddownbytheRedBarracks,thenturnedbackandwentdowntoacopse,fromthecopsebacktothebridgeagain\"No,home,home!\"hethought。\"AthomeIbelieveit’sbetter……\"
Andhewentback。Whenhereachedhomehepulledoffhiswetcoatandcap,beganpacingroundtheroom,andwentonpacingroundandroundwithoutstoppingtillmorning。
VII
Whennextmorningtheartistandthemedicalstudentwentintohim,hewasmovingabouttheroomwithhisshirttorn,bitinghishandsandmoaningwithpain。
\"ForGod’ssake!\"hesobbedwhenhesawhisfriends,\"takemewhereyouplease,dowhatyoucan;butforGod’ssake,savemequickly!Ishallkillmyself!\"
Theartistturnedpaleandwashelpless。Themedicalstudent,too,almostshedtears,butconsideringthatdoctorsoughttobecoolandcomposedineveryemergencysaidcoldly:
\"It’sanervousbreakdown。Butit’snothing。Letusgoatoncetothedoctor。\"
\"Whereveryoulike,onlyforGod’ssake,makehaste\"
\"Don’texciteyourself。Youmusttryandcontrolyourself。\"
TheartistandthemedicalstudentwithtremblinghandsputVassilyev’scoatandhatonandledhimoutintothestreet。
\"MihailSergeyitchhasbeenwantingtomakeyouracquaintanceforalongtime,\"themedicalstudentsaidontheway。\"Heisaverynicemanandthoroughlygoodathiswork。Hetookhisdegreein1882,andhehasanimmensepracticealready。Hetreatsstudentsasthoughhewereonehimself。\"
\"Makehaste,makehaste!……\"Vassilyevurged。
MihailSergeyitch,astout,fair-haireddoctor,receivedthefriendswithpolitenessandfrigiddignity,andsmiledonlyononesideofhisface。
\"RybnikovandMayerhavespokentomeofyourillnessalready,\"
hesaid。\"Verygladtobeofservicetoyou。Well?Sitdown,I
beg……\"
HemadeVassilyevsitdowninabigarmchairnearthetable,andmovedaboxofcigarettestowardshim。
\"Nowthen!\"hebegan,strokinghisknees。\"Letusgettowork……Howoldareyou?\"
Heaskedquestionsandthemedicalstudentansweredthem。HeaskedwhetherVassilyev’sfatherhadsufferedfromcertainspecialdiseases,whetherhedranktoexcess,whetherhewereremarkableforcrueltyoranypeculiarities。Hemadesimilarinquiriesabouthisgrandfather,mother,sisters,andbrothers。
Onlearningthathismotherhadabeautifulvoiceandsometimesactedonthestage,hegrewmoreanimatedatonce,andasked:
\"Excuseme,butdon’tyouremember,perhaps,yourmotherhadapassionforthestage?\"
Twentyminutespassed。Vassilyevwasannoyedbythewaythedoctorkeptstrokinghiskneesandtalkingofthesamething。
\"SofarasIunderstandyourquestions,doctor,\"hesaid,\"youwanttoknowwhethermyillnessishereditaryornot。Itisnot。\"
ThedoctorproceededtoaskVassilyevwhetherhehadhadanysecretvicesasaboy,orhadreceivedinjuriestohishead;
whetherhehadhadanyaberrations,anypeculiarities,orexceptionalpropensities。Halfthequestionsusuallyaskedbydoctorsoftheirpatientscanbeleftunansweredwithouttheslightestilleffectonthehealth,butMihailSergeyitch,themedicalstudent,andtheartistalllookedasthoughifVassilyevfailedtoansweronequestionallwouldbelost。Ashereceivedanswers,thedoctorforsomereasonnotedthemdownonaslipofpaper。OnlearningthatVassilyevhadtakenhisdegreeinnaturalscience,andwasnowstudyinglaw,thedoctorpondered。
\"Hewroteafirst-ratepieceoforiginalworklastyear,……\"
saidthemedicalstudent。
\"Ibegyourpardon,butdon’tinterruptme;youpreventmefromconcentrating,\"saidthedoctor,andhesmiledononesideofhisface。\"Though,ofcourse,thatdoesenterintothediagnosis。
Intenseintellectualwork,nervousexhaustion……Yes,yes……Anddoyoudrinkvodka?\"hesaid,addressingVassilyev。
\"Veryrarely。\"
Anothertwentyminutespassed。Themedicalstudentbegantellingthedoctorinalowvoicehisopinionastotheimmediatecauseoftheattack,anddescribedhowthedaybeforeyesterdaytheartist,Vassilyev,andhehadvisitedS。Street。
Theindifferent,reserved,andfrigidtoneinwhichhisfriendsandthedoctorspokeofthewomenandthatmiserablestreetstruckVassilyevasstrangeintheextreme……
\"Doctor,tellmeonethingonly,\"hesaid,controllinghimselfsoasnottospeakrudely。\"Isprostitutionanevilornot?\"
\"Mydearfellow,whodisputesit?\"saidthedoctor,withanexpressionthatsuggestedthathehadsettledallsuchquestionsforhimselflongago。\"Whodisputesit?\"
\"Youareamentaldoctor,aren’tyou?\"Vassilyevaskedcurtly。
\"Yes,amentaldoctor。\"
\"Perhapsallofyouareright!\"saidVassilyev,gettingupandbeginningtowalkfromoneendoftheroomtotheother。
\"Perhaps!Butitallseemsmarveloustome!ThatIshouldhavetakenmydegreeintwofacultiesyoulookuponasagreatachievement;becauseIhavewrittenaworkwhichinthreeyearswillbethrownasideandforgotten,Iampraiseduptotheskies;
butbecauseIcannotspeakoffallenwomenasunconcernedlyasofthesechairs,Iambeingexaminedbyadoctor,Iamcalledmad,Iampitied!\"
Vassilyevforsomereasonfeltallatonceunutterablysorryforhimself,andhiscompanions,andallthepeoplehehadseentwodaysbefore,andforthedoctor;heburstintotearsandsankintoachair。
Hisfriendslookedinquiringlyatthedoctor。Thelatter,withtheairofcompletelycomprehendingthetearsandthedespair,offeelinghimselfaspecialistinthatline,wentuptoVassilyevand,withoutaword,gavehimsomemedicinetodrink;andthen,whenhewascalmer,undressedhimandbegantoinvestigatethedegreeofsensibilityoftheskin,thereflexactionoftheknees,andsoon。
AndVassilyevfelteasier。Whenhecameoutfromthedoctor’shewasbeginningtofeelashamed;therattleofthecarriagesnolongerirritatedhim,andtheloadathisheartgrewlighterandlighterasthoughitweremeltingaway。Hehadtwoprescriptionsinhishand:onewasforbromide,onewasformorphia……Hehadtakenalltheseremediesbefore。
Inthestreethestoodstilland,sayinggood-bytohisfriends,draggedhimselflanguidlytotheUniversity。
MISERY
\"TowhomshallItellmygrief?\"
THEtwilightofevening。Bigflakesofwetsnowarewhirlinglazilyaboutthestreetlamps,whichhavejustbeenlighted,andlyinginathinsoftlayeronroofs,horses’backs,shoulders,caps。IonaPotapov,thesledge-driver,isallwhitelikeaghost。Hesitsontheboxwithoutstirring,bentasdoubleasthelivingbodycanbebent。Ifaregularsnowdriftfellonhimitseemsasthougheventhenhewouldnotthinkitnecessarytoshakeitoff……Hislittlemareiswhiteandmotionlesstoo。Herstillness,theangularityofherlines,andthestick-likestraightnessofherlegsmakeherlooklikeahalfpennygingerbreadhorse。Sheisprobablylostinthought。
Anyonewhohasbeentornawayfromtheplough,fromthefamiliargraylandscapes,andcastintothisslough,fullofmonstrouslights,ofunceasinguproarandhurryingpeople,isboundtothink。
ItisalongtimesinceIonaandhisnaghavebudged。Theycameoutoftheyardbeforedinnertimeandnotasinglefareyet。Butnowtheshadesofeveningarefallingonthetown。Thepalelightofthestreetlampschangestoavividcolor,andthebustleofthestreetgrowsnoisier。
\"SledgetoVyborgskaya!\"Ionahears。\"Sledge!\"
Ionastarts,andthroughhissnow-plasteredeyelashesseesanofficerinamilitaryovercoatwithahoodoverhishead。
\"ToVyborgskaya,\"repeatstheofficer。\"Areyouasleep?ToVyborgskaya!\"
IntokenofassentIonagivesatugatthereinswhichsendscakesofsnowflyingfromthehorse’sbackandshoulders。Theofficergetsintothesledge。Thesledge-driverclickstothehorse,craneshisnecklikeaswan,risesinhisseat,andmorefromhabitthannecessitybrandisheshiswhip。Themarecranesherneck,too,crooksherstick-likelegs,andhesitatinglysetsof……
\"Whereareyoushoving,youdevil?\"Ionaimmediatelyhearsshoutsfromthedarkmassshiftingtoandfrobeforehim。\"Wherethedevilareyougoing?Keeptother-right!\"
\"Youdon’tknowhowtodrive!Keeptotheright,\"saystheofficerangrily。
Acoachmandrivingacarriageswearsathim;apedestriancrossingtheroadandbrushingthehorse’snosewithhisshoulderlooksathimangrilyandshakesthesnowoffhissleeve。Ionafidgetsontheboxasthoughheweresittingonthorns,jerkshiselbows,andturnshiseyesaboutlikeonepossessedasthoughhedidnotknowwherehewasorwhyhewasthere。
\"Whatrascalstheyallare!\"saystheofficerjocosely。\"Theyaresimplydoingtheirbesttorunupagainstyouorfallunderthehorse’sfeet。Theymustbedoingitonpurpose。\"
Ionalooksashisfareandmoveshislips……Apparentlyhemeanstosaysomething,butnothingcomesbutasniff。
\"What?\"inquirestheofficer。
Ionagivesawrysmile,andstraininghisthroat,bringsouthuskily:\"Myson……er……mysondiedthisweek,sir。\"
\"H’m!Whatdidhedieof?\"
Ionaturnshiswholebodyroundtohisfare,andsays:
\"Whocantell!Itmusthavebeenfromfever……Helaythreedaysinthehospitalandthenhedied……God’swill。\"
\"Turnround,youdevil!\"comesoutofthedarkness。\"Haveyougonecracked,youolddog?Lookwhereyouaregoing!\"
\"Driveon!driveon!……\"saystheofficer。\"Weshan’tgettheretillto-morrowgoingonlikethis。Hurryup!\"
Thesledge-drivercraneshisneckagain,risesinhisseat,andwithheavygraceswingshiswhip。Severaltimeshelooksroundattheofficer,butthelatterkeepshiseyesshutandisapparentlydisinclinedtolisten。PuttinghisfaredownatVyborgskaya,Ionastopsbyarestaurant,andagainsitshuddleduponthebox……Againthewetsnowpaintshimandhishorsewhite。Onehourpasses,andthenanother……
Threeyoungmen,twotallandthin,oneshortandhunchbacked,comeup,railingateachotherandloudlystampingonthepavementwiththeirgoloshes。
\"Cabby,tothePoliceBridge!\"thehunchbackcriesinacrackedvoice。\"Thethreeofus,……twentykopecks!\"
Ionatugsatthereinsandclickstohishorse。Twentykopecksisnotafairprice,buthehasnothoughtsforthat。Whetheritisaroubleorwhetheritisfivekopecksdoesnotmattertohimnowsolongashehasafare……Thethreeyoungmen,shovingeachotherandusingbadlanguage,gouptothesledge,andallthreetrytositdownatonce。Thequestionremainstobesettled:Whicharetositdownandwhichoneistostand?Afteralongaltercation,ill-temper,andabuse,theycometotheconclusionthatthehunchbackmuststandbecauseheistheshortest。
\"Well,driveon,\"saysthehunchbackinhiscrackedvoice,settlinghimselfandbreathingdownIona’sneck。\"Cutalong!Whatacapyou’vegot,myfriend!Youwouldn’tfindaworseoneinallPetersburg……\"
\"He-he!……he-he!……\"laughsIona。\"It’snothingtoboastof!\"
\"Well,then,nothingtoboastof,driveon!Areyougoingtodrivelikethisalltheway?Eh?ShallIgiveyouoneintheneck?\"
\"Myheadaches,\"saysoneofthetallones。\"AttheDukmasovs’
yesterdayVaskaandIdrankfourbottlesofbrandybetweenus。\"
\"Ican’tmakeoutwhyyoutalksuchstuff,\"saystheothertalloneangrily。\"Youlielikeabrute。\"
\"Strikemedead,it’sthetruth!……\"
\"It’saboutastrueasthatalousecoughs。\"
\"He-he!\"grinsIona。\"Me-er-rygentlemen!\"
\"Tfoo!thedeviltakeyou!\"criesthehunchbackindignantly。
\"Willyougeton,youoldplague,orwon’tyou?Isthatthewaytodrive?Giveheronewiththewhip。Hangitall,giveitherwell。\"
Ionafeelsbehindhisbackthejoltingpersonandquiveringvoiceofthehunchback。Hehearsabuseaddressedtohim,heseespeople,andthefeelingoflonelinessbeginslittlebylittletobelessheavyonhisheart。Thehunchbackswearsathim,tillhechokesoversomeelaboratelywhimsicalstringofepithetsandisoverpoweredbyhiscough。HistallcompanionsbegintalkingofacertainNadyezhdaPetrovna。Ionalooksroundatthem。Waitingtillthereisabriefpause,helooksroundoncemoreandsays:
\"Thisweek……er……my……er……sondied!\"
\"Weshallalldie,……\"saysthehunchbackwithasigh,wipinghislipsaftercoughing。\"Come,driveon!driveon!Myfriends,I
simplycannotstandcrawlinglikethis!Whenwillhegetusthere?\"
\"Well,yougivehimalittleencouragement……oneintheneck!\"
\"Doyouhear,youoldplague?I’llmakeyousmart。Ifonestandsonceremonywithfellowslikeyouonemayaswellwalk。Doyouhear,youolddragon?Ordon’tyoucareahangwhatwesay?\"
AndIonahearsratherthanfeelsaslaponthebackofhisneck。
\"He-he!……\"helaughs。\"Merrygentlemen……Godgiveyouhealth!\"
\"Cabman,areyoumarried?\"asksoneofthetallones。
\"I?Hehe!Me-er-rygentlemen。Theonlywifeformenowisthedampearth……He-ho-ho!……Thegravethatis!……Heremyson’sdeadandIamalive……It’sastrangething,deathhascomeinatthewrongdoor……Insteadofcomingformeitwentformyson……\"
AndIonaturnsroundtotellthemhowhissondied,butatthatpointthehunchbackgivesafaintsighandannouncesthat,thankGod!theyhavearrivedatlast。Aftertakinghistwentykopecks,Ionagazesforalongwhileaftertherevelers,whodisappearintoadarkentry。Againheisaloneandagainthereissilenceforhim……Themiserywhichhasbeenforabriefspaceeasedcomesbackagainandtearshisheartmorecruellythanever。WithalookofanxietyandsufferingIona’seyesstrayrestlesslyamongthecrowdsmovingtoandfroonbothsidesofthestreet:
canhenotfindamongthosethousandssomeonewhowilllistentohim?Butthecrowdsflitbyheedlessofhimandhismisery……
Hismiseryisimmense,beyondallbounds。IfIona’sheartweretoburstandhismiserytoflowout,itwouldfloodthewholeworld,itseems,butyetitisnotseen。Ithasfoundahiding-placeinsuchaninsignificantshellthatonewouldnothavefounditwithacandlebydaylight……
Ionaseesahouse-porterwithaparcelandmakesuphismindtoaddresshim。
\"Whattimewillitbe,friend?\"heasks。
\"Goingonforten……Whyhaveyoustoppedhere?Driveon!\"
Ionadrivesafewpacesaway,bendshimselfdouble,andgiveshimselfuptohismisery。Hefeelsitisnogoodtoappealtopeople。Butbeforefiveminuteshavepassedhedrawshimselfup,shakeshisheadasthoughhefeelsasharppain,andtugsatthereins……Hecanbearitnolonger。
\"Backtotheyard!\"hethinks。\"Totheyard!\"
Andhislittlemare,asthoughsheknewhisthoughts,fallstotrotting。AnhourandahalflaterIonaissittingbyabigdirtystove。Onthestove,onthefloor,andonthebenchesarepeoplesnoring。Theairisfullofsmellsandstuffiness。Ionalooksatthesleepingfigures,scratcheshimself,andregretsthathehascomehomesoearly……
\"Ihavenotearnedenoughtopayfortheoats,even,\"hethinks。
\"That’swhyIamsomiserable。Amanwhoknowshowtodohiswork,……whohashadenoughtoeat,andwhosehorsehashadenoughtoeat,isalwaysatease……\"
Inoneofthecornersayoungcabmangetsup,clearshisthroatsleepily,andmakesforthewater-bucket。
\"Wantadrink?\"Ionaaskshim。
\"Seemsso。\"
\"Mayitdoyougood……Butmysonisdead,mate……Doyouhear?Thisweekinthehospital……It’saqueerbusiness……\"
Ionalookstoseetheeffectproducedbyhiswords,butheseesnothing。Theyoungmanhascoveredhisheadoverandisalreadyasleep。Theoldmansighsandscratcheshimself……Justastheyoungmanhadbeenthirstyforwater,hethirstsforspeech。
Hissonwillsoonhavebeendeadaweek,andhehasnotreallytalkedtoanybodyyet……Hewantstotalkofitproperly,withdeliberation……Hewantstotellhowhissonwastakenill,howhesuffered,whathesaidbeforehedied,howhedied……Hewantstodescribethefuneral,andhowhewenttothehospitaltogethisson’sclothes。HestillhashisdaughterAnisyainthecountry……Andhewantstotalkabouthertoo……Yes,hehasplentytotalkaboutnow。Hislisteneroughttosighandexclaimandlament……Itwouldbeevenbettertotalktowomen。Thoughtheyaresillycreatures,theyblubberatthefirstword。
\"Let’sgooutandhavealookatthemare,\"Ionathinks。\"Thereisalwaystimeforsleep……You’llhavesleepenough,nofear……\"
Heputsonhiscoatandgoesintothestableswherehismareisstanding。Hethinksaboutoats,abouthay,abouttheweather……Hecannotthinkabouthissonwhenheisalone……Totalkabouthimwithsomeoneispossible,buttothinkofhimandpicturehimisinsufferableanguish……
\"Areyoumunching?\"Ionaaskshismare,seeinghershiningeyes。
\"There,munchaway,munchaway……Sincewehavenotearnedenoughforoats,wewilleathay……Yes,……Ihavegrowntoooldtodrive……Mysonoughttobedriving,notI……
Hewasarealcabman……Heoughttohavelived……\"
Ionaissilentforawhile,andthenhegoeson:
\"That’showitis,oldgirl……KuzmaIonitchisgone……
Hesaidgood-bytome……Hewentanddiedfornoreason……Now,supposeyouhadalittlecolt,andyouwereownmothertothatlittlecolt……Andallatoncethatsamelittlecoltwentanddied……You’dbesorry,wouldn’tyou?……\"
Thelittlemaremunches,listens,andbreathesonhermaster’shands。Ionaiscarriedawayandtellsherallaboutit。
CHAMPAGNE
AWAYFARER’SSTORY
INtheyearinwhichmystorybeginsIhadajobatalittlestationononeofoursouthwesternrailways。WhetherIhadagayoradulllifeatthestationyoucanjudgefromthefactthatforfifteenmilesroundtherewasnotonehumanhabitation,notonewoman,notonedecenttavern;andinthosedaysIwasyoung,strong,hot-headed,giddy,andfoolish。TheonlydistractionIcouldpossiblyfindwasinthewindowsofthepassengertrains,andinthevilevodkawhichtheJewsdruggedwiththorn-apple。Sometimestherewouldbeaglimpseofawoman’sheadatacarriagewindow,andonewouldstandlikeastatuewithoutbreathingandstareatituntilthetrainturnedintoanalmostinvisiblespeck;oronewoulddrinkallonecouldoftheloathsomevodkatillonewasstupefiedanddidnotfeelthepassingofthelonghoursanddays。Uponme,anativeofthenorth,thesteppeproducedtheeffectofadesertedTatarcemetery。Inthesummerthesteppewithitssolemncalm,themonotonouschurofthegrasshoppers,thetransparentmoonlightfromwhichonecouldnothide,reducedmetolistlessmelancholy;
andinthewintertheirreproachablewhitenessofthesteppe,itscolddistance,longnights,andhowlingwolvesoppressedmelikeaheavynightmare。Therewereseveralpeoplelivingatthestation:mywifeandI,adeafandscrofuloustelegraphclerk,andthreewatchmen。Myassistant,ayoungmanwhowasinconsumption,usedtogofortreatmenttothetown,wherehestayedformonthsatatime,leavinghisdutiestometogetherwiththerightofpocketinghissalary。Ihadnochildren,nocakewouldhavetemptedvisitorstocomeandseeme,andIcouldonlyvisitotherofficialsontheline,andthatnooftenerthanonceamonth。