\"Well，itisforyoutodeal，\"heremarkedtoDubkoff。InaninstantIdivinedthathedidnotaltogetherrelishmybecomingacquaintedwiththefactthathegambled。Yethisexpressionhadnothinginitofconfusion——onlyalookwhichseemedtometosay：
\"Yes，Iplaycards，andifyouaresurprisedatthat，itisonlybecauseyouaresoyoung。Thereisnothingwrongaboutit——itisanecessityatourage。\"Yes，Iatoncedivinedandunderstoodthat。
Insteadofdealing，however，Dubkoffroseandshookhandswithus；afterwhichhebadeusbothbeseated，andthenoffereduspipes，whichwedeclined。
\"HereisourDIPLOMAT，then——theherooftheday！\"hesaidtome，\"GoodLord！howyoulooklikeacolonel！\"
\"H-m！\"Imutteredinreply，thoughoncemorefeelingacomplacentsmileoverspreadmycountenance。
IstoodinthataweofDubkoffwhichasixteen-year-oldboynaturallyfeelsforatwenty-seven-year-oldmanofwhomhiselderssaythatheisaverycleveryoungmanwhocandancewellandspeakFrench，andwho，thoughsecretlydespisingone’syouth，endeavourstoconcealthefact。Yet，despitemyrespectforhim，Isomehowfounditdifficultanduncomfortable，throughoutmyacquaintanceshipwithhim，tolookhimintheeyes，IhavesinceremarkedthattherearethreekindsofmenwhomIcannotfaceeasily，namelythosewhoaremuchbetterthanmyself，thosewhoaremuchworse，andthosebetweenwhomandmyselfthereisamutualdeterminationnottomentionsomeparticularthingofwhichwearebothaware。Dubkoffmayhavebeenamuchbetterfellowthanmyself，orhemayhavebeenamuchworse；butthepointwasthatheliedveryfrequentlywithoutrecognisingthefactthatIwasawareofhisdoingso，yethaddeterminednottomentionit。
\"Letusplayanotherround，\"saidWoloda，hunchingoneshoulderafterthemannerofPapa，andreshufflingthecards。
\"Howpersistentyouare！\"saidDubkoff。\"Wecanplayallwewanttoafterwards。Well，onemoreround，then。\"
Duringtheplay，Ilookedattheirhands。Woloda’shandswerelargeandred，whilstinthecrookofthethumbandthewayinwhichtheotherfingerscurvedthemselvesroundthecardsasheheldthemtheysoexactlyresembledPapa’sthatnowandthenI
couldnothelpthinkingthatWolodapurposelyheldthecardsthussoastolookthemorelikeagrownup。Yetthenextmoment，lookingathisface，Icouldseethathehadnotathoughtinhismindbeyondthegame。Dubkoff’shands，onthecontrary，weresmall，puffy，andinclinedtoclenchthemselves，aswellasextremelyneatandsmall-fingered。Theywerejustthekindofhandswhichgenerallydisplayrings，andwhicharemosttobeseenonpersonswhoarebothinclinedtousethemandfondofobjetsdevertu。
Wolodamusthavelost，forthegentlemanwhowaswatchingtheplayremarkedthatVladimirPetrovitchhadterriblybadluck，whileDubkoffreachedforanotebook，wrotesomethinginit，andthen，showingWolodawhathehadwritten，said：
\"Isthatright？\"
\"Yes。\"saidWoloda，glancingwithfeignedcarelessnessatthenotebook。\"Nowletusgo。\"
WolodatookDubkoff，andIgaveDimitrialiftinmydrozhki。
\"Whatweretheyplayingat？\"IinquiredofDimitri。
\"Atpiquet。Itisastupidgame。Infact，allsuchgamesarestupid。\"
\"Andweretheyplayingformuch？\"
\"No，notverymuch，butmorethantheyoughtto。\"
\"Doyoueverplayyourself？\"
\"No；Isworenevertodoso；butDubkoffwillplaywithanyonehecangetholdof。\"
\"Heoughtnottodothat，\"Iremarked。\"SoWolodadoesnotplaysowellashedoes？\"
\"PerhapsDubkoffoughtnotto，asyousay，yetthereisnothingespeciallybadaboutitall。Helikesplaying，andplayswell，butheisagoodfellowallthesame。\"
\"Ihadnoideaofthis，\"Isaid。
\"Wemustnotthinkillofhim，\"concludedDimitri，\"sinceheisasimplysplendidfellow。Ilikehimverymuch，andalwaysshalllikehim，inspiteofhisweakness。\"
Forsomereasonoranothertheideaoccurredtomethat，justBECAUSEDimitristuckupsostoutlyforDubkoff，heneitherlikednorrespectedhiminreality，butwasdetermined，outofstubbornnessandadesirenottobeaccusedofinconstancy，nevertoowntothefact。Hewasoneofthosepeoplewholovetheirfriendstheirlifelong，notsomuchbecausethosefriendsremainalwaysdeartothem，asbecause，havingonce——possiblymistakenly——likedaperson，theylookuponitasdishonourabletoceaseevertodoso。
XV
IAMFETEDATDINNER
DubkoffandWolodakneweveryoneattherestaurantbyname，andeveryone，fromthewaiterstotheproprietor，paidthemgreatrespect。Notimewaslostinallottingusaprivateroom，whereabottleoficedchampagne-uponwhichItriedtolookwithasmuchindifferenceasIcould——stoodreadywaitingforus，andwherewewereservedwithamostwonderfulrepastselectedbyDubkofffromtheFrenchmenu。Themealwentoffmostgailyandagreeably，notwithstandingthatDubkoff，asusual，toldusblood-curdlingtalesofdoubtfulveracity（amongothers，ataleofhowhisgrandmotheronceshotdeadthreerobberswhowereattackingher——
arecitalatwhichIblushed，closedmyeyes，andturnedawayfromthenarrator），andthatWolodareddenedvisiblywheneverI
openedmymouthtospeak——whichwasthemoreuncalledforonhispart，seeingthatneveronce，sofarasIcanremember，didIsayanythingshameful。Afterwehadbeengivenchampagne，everyonecongratulatedme，andIdrank\"handsacross\"withDimitriandDubkoff，andwishedthemjoy。Since，however，Ididnotknowtowhomthebottleofchampagnebelonged（itwasexplainedtomelaterthatitwascommonproperty），Iconsideredthat，inreturn，IoughttotreatmyfriendsoutofthemoneywhichIhadneverceasedtofingerinmypocket。Accordingly，Istealthilyextractedaten-roublenote，and，beckoningthewaitertomyside，handedhimthemoney，andtoldhiminawhisper（yetnotsosoftlybutthateveryonecouldhearme，seeingthateveryonewasstaringatmeindeadsilence）to\"bring，ifyouplease，ahalf-bottleofchampagne。\"AtthisWolodareddenedagain，andbegantofidgetsoviolently，andtogazeuponmyselfandeveryoneelsewithsuchadistractedair，thatIfeltsureIhadsomehowputmyfootinit。
However，thehalf-bottlecame，andwedrankitwithgreatgusto。
Afterthat，thingswentonmerrily。Dubkoffcontinuedhisunendingfairytales，whileWolodaalsotoldfunnystories——andtoldthemwell，too——inawayIshouldneverhavecreditedhim：sothatourlaughterranglongandloud。Theirbesteffortslayinimitation，andinvariantsofacertainwell-knownsaw。\"Haveyoueverbeenabroad？\"onewouldsaytotheother，forinstance。
\"No，\"theoneinterrogatedwouldreply，\"butmybrotherplaysthefiddle。\"Suchperfectionhadthepairattainedinthisspeciesofcomicabsurditythattheycouldansweranyquestionbyitsmeans，whiletheywouldalsoendeavourtounitetwoabsolutelyunconnectedmatterswithoutapreviousquestionhavingbeenaskedatall，yetsayeverythingwithaperfectlyseriousfaceandproduceamostcomiceffect。Itoobegantotrytobefunny，butassoonaseverIspoketheyeitherlookedatmeaskanceordidnotlookatmeuntilIhadfinished：sothatmyanecdotesfellflat。Yet，thoughDubkoffalwaysremarked，\"OurDIPLOMATislying，brother，\"Ifeltsoexhilaratedwiththechampagneandthecompanyofmyeldersthattheremarkscarcelytouchedme。OnlyDimitri，thoughhedranklevelwiththerestofus，continuedinthesamesevere，seriousframeofmind——afactwhichputacertaincheckuponthegeneralhilarity。
\"Now，lookhere，gentlemen，\"saidDubkoffatlast。\"AfterdinnerweoughttotaketheDIPLOMATinhand。HowwoulditbeforhimtogowithustoseeAuntie？Therewecouldputhimthroughhispaces。\"
\"Ah，butNechludoffwillnotgothere，\"objectedWoloda。
\"Ounbearable，insupportablemanofquiethabitsthatyouare！\"
criedDubkoff，turningtoDimitri。\"Yetcomewithus，andyoushallseewhatanexcellentladymydearAuntieis。\"
\"Iwillneithergomyselfnorlethimgo，\"repliedDimitri。
\"Letwhomgo？TheDIPLOMAT？Why，youyourselfsawhowhebrightenedupattheverymentionofAuntie。\"
\"ItisnotsomuchthatIWILLNOTLETHIMgo，\"continuedDimitri，risingandbeginningtopacetheroomwithoutlookingatme，\"asthatIneitherwishhimnoradvisehimtogo。Heisnotachildnow，andifhemustgohecangoalone——withoutyou。Surelyyouareashamedofthis，Dubkoff？——ashamedofalwayswantingotherstodoallthewrongthingsthatyouyourselfdo？\"
\"ButwhatistheresoverywronginmyinvitingyoualltocomeandtakeacupofteawithmyAunt？\"saidDubkoff，withawinkatWoloda。\"Ifyoudon’tlikeusgoing，itisyouraffair；yetwearegoingallthesame。Areyoucoming，Woloda？\"
\"Yes，yes，\"assentedWoloda。\"Wecangothere，andthenreturntomyroomsandcontinueourpiquet。\"
\"Doyouwanttogowiththemornot？\"saidDimitri，approachingme。
\"No，\"Ireplied，atthesametimemakingroomforhimtositdownbesidemeonthedivan。\"Ididnotwishtogoinanycase，andsinceyouadvisemenotto，nothingonearthwillmakemegonow。
Yet，\"Iaddedamomentlater，\"IcannothonestlysaythatIhaveNOdesiretogo。AllIsayisthatIamgladIamnotgoing。\"
\"Thatisright，\"hesaid。\"Liveyourownlife，anddonotdancetoanyone’spiping。Thatisthebetterway。\"
Thislittletiffnotonlyfailedtomarourhilarity，butevenincreasedit。DimitrisuddenlyrevertedtothekindlymoodwhichIlovedbest——sogreat（asIafterwardsremarkedonmorethanoneoccasion）wastheinfluencewhichtheconsciousnessofhavingdoneagooddeedexerciseduponhim。Atthepresentmomentthesourceofhissatisfactionwasthefactthathehadstoppedmyexpeditionto\"Auntie’s。\"Hegrewextraordinarilygay，calledforanotherbottleofchampagne（whichwasagainsthisrules），invitedsomeonewhowasaperfectstrangerintoourroom，pliedhimwithwine，sang\"Gaudeamusigitur，\"requestedeveryonetojoinhiminthechorus，andproposedthatweshouldandrinkattheSokolniki。[Mews。]
\"Letusenjoyourselvesto-night，\"hesaidwithalaugh。\"Itisinhonourofhismatriculationthatyounowseemegettingdrunkforthefirsttimeinmylife。\"
Yetsomehowthismerrimentsatilluponhim。Hewaslikesomegood-naturedfatherortutorwhoispleasedwithhisyoungcharges，andletshimselfgofortheiramusement，yetatthesametimetriestoshowthemthatonecanenjoyoneselfdecentlyandinanhonourablemanner。However，hisunexpectedgaietyhadaninfectiousinfluenceuponmyselfandmycompanions，andthemoresobecauseeachofushadnowdrunkabouthalfabottleofchampagne。
ItwasinthispleasingframeofmindthatIwentoutintothemainsalontosmokeacigarettewhichDubkoffhadgivenme。InrisingInoticedthatmyheadseemedtoswimalittle，andthatmylegsandarmsretainedtheirnaturalpositionsonlywhenI
bentmythoughtsdeterminedlyuponthem。Atothermomentsmylegswoulddeviatefromthestraightline，andmyarmsdescribestrangegestures。Iconcentratedmywholeattentionuponthemembersinquestion，forcedmyhandsfirsttoraisethemselvesandbuttonmytunic，andthentosmoothmyhair（thoughtheyruffledmylocksindoingso），andlastlycommandedmylegstomarchmetothedoor——afunctionwhichtheydulyperformed，thoughatonetimewithtoomuchreluctance，andatanotherwithtoomuchABANDON（theleftleg，inparticular，comingtoahalteverymomentontiptoe）。Someonecalledouttome，\"Whereareyougoingto？Theywillbringyouacigar-lightdirectly，\"butI
guessedthevoicetobeWoloda’s，and，feelingsatisfied，somehow，thatIhadsucceededindiviningthefact，merelysmiledairilyinreply，andcontinuedonmyway。
XVI
THEQUARREL
InthemainsalonIperceivedsittingatasmalltableashort，squatgentlemanoftheprofessionaltype。Hehadaredmoustache，andwasengagedineatingsomethingoranother，whilebyhissidesatatall，clean-shavenindividualwithwhomhewascarryingonaconversationinFrench。Somehowtheaspectofthesetwopersonsdispleasedme；yetIdecided，forallthat，tolightmycigaretteatthecandelabrumwhichwasstandingbeforethem。Lookingfromsidetoside，toavoidmeetingtheirgaze，Iapproachedthetable，andappliedmycigarettetotheflame。Whenitwasfairlyalight，Iinvoluntarilythrewaglanceatthegentlemanwhowaseating，andfoundhisgreyeyesfixeduponmewithanexpressionofintensedispleasure。JustasIwasturningawayhisredmoustachemovedalittle，andhesaidinFrench：
\"IdonotlikepeopletosmokewhenIamdining，mygoodsir。\"
Imurmuredsomethinginaudible。
\"No，Idonotlikeitatall，\"hewentonsternly，andwithaglanceathisclean-shavencompanion，asthoughinvitinghimtoadmirethewayinwhichhewasabouttodealwithme。\"Idonotlikeit，mygoodsir，nordoIlikepeoplewhohavetheimpudencetopufftheirsmokeupone’sverynose。\"
BythistimeIhadgatheredthatitwasmyselfhewasscolding，andatfirstfeltasthoughIhadbeenaltogetherinthewrong，\"Ididnotmeantoinconvenienceyou，\"Isaid。
\"Well，ifyoudidnotsupposeyouwerebeingimpertinent，atleastIdid！Youareacad，youngsir！\"heshoutedinreply。
\"Butwhatrighthaveyoutoshoutatmelikethat？\"Iexclaimed，feelingthatitwasnowHEthatwasinsultingME，andgrowingangryaccordingly。
\"Thismuchright，\"hereplied，\"thatIneverallowmyselftobeoverlookedbyanyone，andthatIalwaysteachyoungfellowslikeyourselftheirmanners。Whatisyourname，youngsir，andwheredoyoulive？\"
AtthisIfeltsohurtthatmyteethchattered，andIfeltasthoughIwerechoking。YetallthewhileIwasconsciousofbeinginthewrong，andso，insteadofofferinganyfurtherrudenesstotheoffendedone，humblytoldhimmynameandaddress。
\"AndMYname，youngsir，\"hereturned，\"isKolpikoff，andIwilltroubleyoutobemorepolitetomeinfuture。——However，Youwillhearfrommeagain\"（\"vousaurezdemesnouvelles\"——theconversationhadbeencarriedonwhollyinFrench），washisconcludingremark。
TothisIreplied，\"Ishallbedelighted，\"withaninfusionofasmuchhauteurasIcouldmusterintomytone。Then，turningonmyheel，Ireturnedwithmycigarette——whichhadmeanwhilegoneout——
toourownroom。
Isaidnothing，eithertomybrotherormyfriends，aboutwhathadhappened（andthemoresobecausetheywereatthatmomentengagedinadisputeoftheirown），butsatdowninacornertothinkoverthestrangeaffair。Thewords，\"Youareacad，youngsir，\"vexedmemoreandmorethelongerthattheysoundedinmyears。Mytipsinesswasgonenow，and，inconsideringmyconductduringthedispute，theuncomfortablethoughtcameovermethatI
hadbehavedlikeacoward。
\"Yetwhatrighthadhetoattackme？\"Ireflected。\"WhydidhenotsimplyintimatetomethatIwasannoyinghim？Afterall，itmayhavebeenhethatwasinthewrong。Why，too，whenhecalledmeayoungcad，didInotsaytohim，’Acad，mygoodsir，isonewhotakesoffence’？OrwhydidInotsimplytellhimtoholdhistongue？Thatwouldhavebeenthebettercourse。OrwhydidInotchallengehimtoaduel？No，Ididnoneofthosethings，butswallowedhisinsultslikeawretchedcoward。\"
Stillthewords，\"Youareacad，youngsir，\"keptsoundinginmyearswithmaddeningiteration。\"Icannotleavethingsastheyare，\"IatlengthdecidedasIrosetomyfeetwiththefixedintentionofreturningtothegentlemanandsayingsomethingoutrageoustohim——perhaps，also，ofbreakingthecandelabrumoverhisheadifoccasionoffered。Yet，thoughIconsideredtheadvisabilityofthislastmeasurewithsomepleasure，itwasnotwithoutagooddealoftrepidationthatIre-enteredthemainsalon。Asluckwouldhaveit，M。Kolpikoffwasnolongerthere，butonlyawaiterengagedinclearingthetable。ForamomentI
feltliketellingthewaiterthewholestory，andexplainingtohimmyinnocenceinthematter，butforsomereasonoranotherI
thoughtbetterofit，andoncemorereturned，inthesamehazyconditionofmind，toourownroom。
\"WhathasbecomeofourDIPLOMAT？\"Dubkoffwasjustsaying。\"UponhimnowhangthefortunesofEurope。\"
\"Oh，leavemealone，\"Isaid，turningmoodilyaway。Then，asI
pacedtheroom，somethingmademebegintothinkthatDubkoffwasnotaltogetheragoodfellow。\"Thereisnothingverymuchtoadmireinhiseternaljokesandhisnicknameof’DIPLOMAT，’\"I
reflected。\"AllhethinksaboutistowinmoneyfromWolodaandtogoandseehis’Auntie。’Thereisnothingveryniceinallthat。Besides，everythinghesayshasatouchofblackguardisminit，andheisforevertryingtomakepeoplelaugh。Inmyopinionheissimplystupidwhenheisnotabsolutelyabrute。\"Ispentaboutfiveminutesinthesereflections，andfeltmyenmitytowardsDubkoffcontinuallyincreasing。Forhispart，hetooknonoticeofme，andthatangeredmethemore。IactuallyfeltvexedwithWolodaandDimitribecausetheywentontalkingtohim。
\"Itellyouwhat，gentlemen：theDIPLOMAToughttobechristened，\"saidDubkoffsuddenly，withaglanceandasmilewhichseemedtomederisive，andeventreacherous。\"Yet，0Lord，whatapoorspecimenheis！\"
\"Youyourselfoughttobechristened，andyouyourselfareasorryspecimen！\"Iretortedwithanevilsmile，andactuallyforgettingtoaddresshimas\"thou。\"[InRussianasinFrench，thesecondpersonsingularistheformofspeechusedbetweenintimatefriends。]
ThisreplyevidentlysurprisedDubkoff，butheturnedawaygood-
humouredly，andwentontalkingtoWolodaandDimitri。Itriedtoedgemyselfintotheconversation，but，sinceIfeltthatIcouldnotkeepitup，Isoonreturnedtomycorner，andremainedthereuntilweleft。
Whenthebillhadbeenpaidandwrapswerebeingputon，DubkoffturnedtoDimitriandsaid：\"WhitherareOrestesandPedaliongoingnow？Home，Isuppose，totalkaboutlove。Well，letUSgoandseemydearAuntie。Thatwillbefarmoreentertainingthanyoursourcompany。\"
\"Howdareyouspeaklikethat，andlaughatus？\"IburstoutasI
approachedhimwithclenchedfists。\"Howdareyoulaughatfeelingswhichyoudonotunderstand？Iwillnothaveyoudoit！
Holdyourtongue！\"AtthispointIhadtoholdmyown，forIdidnotknowwhattosaynext，andwas，moreover，outofbreathwithexcitement。AtfirstDubkoffwastakenaback，butpresentlyhetriedtolaughitoff，andtotakeitasajoke。FinallyIwassurprisedtoseehimlookcrestfallen，andlowerhiseyes。
\"INEVERlaughatyouoryourfeelings。Itismerelymywayofspeaking，\"hesaidevasively。
\"Indeed？\"Icried；yetthenextmomentIfeltashamedofmyselfandsorryforhim，sincehisflushed，downcastfacehadinitnootherexpressionthanoneofgenuinepain。
\"Whatisthematterwithyou？\"saidWolodaandDimitrisimultaneously。\"Noonewastryingtoinsultyou。\"
\"Yes，heDIDtrytoinsultme！\"Ireplied。
\"Whatanextraordinaryfellowyourbrotheris！\"saidDubkofftoWoloda。Atthatmomenthewaspassingoutofthedoor，andcouldnothaveheardwhatIsaid。PossiblyIshouldhaveflungmyselfafterhimandofferedhimfurtherinsult，haditnotbeenthatjustatthatmomentthewaiterwhohadwitnessedmyencounterwithKolpikoffhandedmemygreatcoat，andIatoncequieteneddown——merelymakingsuchapretenceofhavinghadadifferencewithDimitriaswasnecessarytomakemysuddenappeasementappearnothingextraordinary。Nextday，whenImetDubkoffatWoloda’s，thequarrelwasnotrakedup，yetheandIstilladdressedeachotheras\"you，\"andfounditharderthanevertolookoneanotherintheface。
TheremembranceofmyscenewithKolpikoff——who，bytheway，neversentme\"desesnouvelles，\"eitherthefollowingdayoranydayafterwards——remainedforyearsakeenandunpleasantmemory。
EvensomuchasfiveyearsafterithadhappenedIwouldbeginfidgetingandmutteringtomyselfwheneverIrememberedtheunavengedinsult，andwasfaintocomfortmyselfwiththesatisfactionofrecollectingthesortofyoungfellowIhadshownmyselftobeinmysubsequentaffairwithDubkoff。Infact，itwasonlylaterstillthatIbegantoregardthematterinanotherlight，andbothtorecallwithcomicappreciationmypassageofarmswithKolpikoff，andtoregrettheundeservedaffrontwhichI
hadofferedmygoodfriendDubkoff。
When，atalaterhourontheeveningofthedinner，ItoldDimitriofmyaffairwithKolpikoff，whoseexteriorIdescribedindetail，hewasastounded。
\"Thatistheveryman！\"hecried。\"Don’tyouknowthatthispreciousKolpikoffisaknownscampandsharper，aswellas，aboveallthings，acoward，andthathewasexpelledfromhisregimentbyhisbrotherofficersbecause，havinghadhisfaceslapped，hewouldnotfight？Buthowcameyoutolethimgetaway？\"headded，withakindlysmileandglance。\"Surelyhecouldnothavesaidmoretoyouthanhedidwhenhecalledyouacad？\"
\"No，\"Iadmittedwithablush。
\"Well，itwasnotright，butthereisnogreatharmdone，\"saidDimitriconsolingly。
Longafterwards，whenthinkingthematteroveratleisure，I
suddenlycametotheconclusionthatitwasquitepossiblethatKolpikofftooktheopportunityofvicariouslywipingoffuponmetheslapinthefacewhichhehadoncereceived，justasImyselftooktheopportunityofvicariouslywipingoffupontheinnocentDubkofftheepithet\"cad\"whichKolpikoffhadjustappliedtome。
XVII
IGETREADYTOPAYSOMECALLS
OnawakingnextmorningmyfirstthoughtswereoftheaffairwithKolpikoff。OnceagainImutteredtomyselfandstampedabouttheroom，buttherewasnohelpforit。To-daywasthelastdaythatIwastospendinMoscow，anditwastobespent，byPapa’sorders，inmypayingaroundofcallswhichhehadwrittenoutformeonapieceofpaper——hisfirstsolicitudeonouraccountbeingnotsomuchforourmoralsoroureducationasforourdueobservanceoftheconvenances。Onthepieceofpaperwaswritteninhisswift，brokenhand-writing：\"（1）PrinceIvanIvanovitchWITHOUTFAIL；（2）theIwinsWITHOUTFAIL；（3）PrinceMichael；（4）
thePrincessNechludoffandMadameValakhinaifyouwish。\"OfcourseIwasalsotocalluponmyguardian，upontherector，andupontheprofessors。
Theselast-mentionedcalls，however，Dimitriadvisedmenottopay：sayingthatitwasnotonlyunnecessarytodoso，butnotthething。However，thereweretheothervisitstobegotthrough。Itwasthefirsttwoonthelist——thosemarkedastobepaid\"WITHOUTFAIL\"——thatmostalarmedme。PrinceIvanIvanovitchwasacommander-in-chief，aswellasold，wealthy，andabachelor。Consequently，Iforesawthatvis-a-visconversationbetweenhimandmyself——myselfasixteen-year-oldstudent！——wasnotlikelytobeinteresting。AsfortheIwins，theytoowererich——thefatherbeingadepartmentalofficialofhighrankwhohadonlyononeoccasioncalledatourhouseduringmygrandmother’stime。Sinceherdeath，IhadremarkedthattheyoungerIwinhadfoughtshyofus，andseemedtogivehimselfairs。Theelderofthepair，Ihadheard，hadnowfinishedhiscourseinjurisprudence，andgonetoholdapostinSt。
Petersburg，whilehisbrotherSergius（theformerobjectofmyworship）wasalsoinSt。Petersburg，asagreatfatcadetintheCorpsofPages。
WhenIwasayoungman，notonlydidIdislikeintercoursewithpeoplewhothoughtthemselvesaboveme，butsuchintercoursewas，forme，anunbearabletorture，owingpartlytomyconstantdreadofbeingsnubbed，andpartlytomystrainingeveryfacultyofmyintellecttoprovetosuchpeoplemyindependence。Yet，evenifI
failedtofulfilthelatterpartofmyfather’sinstructions，I
feltthatImustcarryouttheformer。Ipacedmyroomandeyedmyclothesreadydisposedonchairs——thetunic，thesword，andthecap。JustasIwasabouttosetforth，oldGrapcalledtocongratulateme，bringingwithhimIlinka。GrapperewasaRussianisedGermanandanintolerablyeffusive，sycophanticoldmanwhowasmoreoftenthannottipsy。Asarule，hevisitedusonlywhenhewantedtoaskforsomething，andalthoughPapasometimesentertainedhiminhisstudy，oldGrapnevercametodinnerwithus。Withhissubserviencyandbeggingpropensitieswentsuchafacultyofgood-humourandapowerofmakinghimselfathomethateveryonelookeduponhisattachmenttousasagreathonour。Formypart，however，Ineverlikedhim，andfeltashamedwhenhewasspeaking。
Iwasmuchputoutbythearrivalofthesevisitors，andmadenoefforttoconcealthefact。UponIlinkaIhadbeensousedtolookdown，andhesousedtorecognisemyrighttodoso，thatitdispleasedmetothinkthathewasnowasmuchamatriculatedstudentasmyself。InsomewayheappearedtometohavemadeaPOINTofattainingthatequality。Igreetedthepaircoldly，and，withoutofferingthemanyrefreshment（sinceitwentagainstthegraintodoso，andIthoughttheycouldaskforanything，iftheywantedit，withoutmyfirstinvitingthemtostatetheirrequirements），gaveordersforthedrozhkitobegotready。
Ilinkawasagood-natured，extremelymoral，andfarfromstupidyoungfellow；yet，forallthat，whatpeoplecallapersonofmoods。Thatistosay，fornoapparentreasonhewasforeverinsomePRONOUNCEDframeofmind——nowlachrymose，nowfrivolous，nowtouchyontheverysmallestpoint。Atthepresentmomentheappearedtobeinthelast-namedmood。Hekeptlookingfromhisfathertomyselfwithoutspeaking，exceptwhendirectlyaddressed，atwhichtimeshesmiledtheself-deprecatory，forcedsmileunderwhichhewasaccustomedtoconcealhisfeelings，andmoreespeciallythatfeelingofshameforhisfatherwhichhemusthaveexperiencedinourhouse。
\"So，NicolasPetrovitch，\"theoldmansaidtome，followingmeeverywhereabouttheroomasIwentthroughtheoperationofdressing，whileallthewhilehisfatfingerskeptturningoverandoverasilversnuff-boxwithwhichmygrandmotherhadoncepresentedme，\"assoonaseverIheardfrommysonthatyouhadpassedyourexaminationssowell（thoughofcourseyourabilitiesarewell-knowntoeveryone），Iatoncecametocongratulateyou，mydearboy。Why，Ihavecarriedyouonmyshouldersbeforenow，andGodknowsthatIloveyouasthoughyouweremyownson。MyIlinkatoohasalwaysbeenfondofyou，andfeelsquiteathomewithyou。\"
MeanwhilethesaidIlinkaremainedsittingsilentlybythewindow，apparentlyabsorbedincontemplationofmythree-corneredcap，andeverynowandthenangrilymutteringsomethinginanundertone。
\"Now，Ialsowantedtoaskyou，NicolasPetrovitch。\"Hisfatherwenton，\"whethermysondidwellintheexaminations？Hetellsmethatheisgoingtobeinthesamefacultyasyourself，andthatthereforeyouwillbeabletokeepaneyeonhim，andadvisehim，andsoon。\"
\"Oh，yes，Isupposehepassedwell，\"Ireplied，withaglanceatIlinka，who，consciousofmygaze，reddenedviolentlyandceasedtomovehislipsabout。
\"Andmighthespendthedaywithyou？\"wasthefather’snextrequest，whichhemadewithadeprecatorysmile，asthoughhestoodinactualaweofme，yetalwayskeepingsoclosetome，whereverImoved，thatthefumesofthedrinkandtobaccoinwhichhehadbeenindulgingwereconstantlyperceptibletomynostrils。Ifeltgreatlyvexedathisplacingmeinsuchafalsepositiontowardshisson，aswellasathisdistractingmyattentionfromwhatwas，tome，ahighlyimportantoperation——
namely，theoperationofdressing；while，overandaboveall，I
wasannoyedbythesmellofliquorwithwhichhefollowedmeabout。Accordingly，IsaidverycoldlythatIcouldnothavethepleasureofIlinka’scompanythatday，sinceIshouldbeout。
\"Ah！Isupposeyouaregoingtoseeyoursister？\"putinIlinkawithasmile，butwithoutlookingatme。\"Well，Itoohavebusinesstoattendto。\"AtthisIfeltevenmoreputout，aswellasprickedwithcompunction；so，tosoftenmyrefusalalittle，I
hastenedtosaythatthereasonwhyIshouldnotbeathomethatdaywasthatIhadtocalluponthePRINCEIvanIvanovitch，thePRINCESSKornakoff，andtheMonsieurIwinwhoheldsuchaninfluentialpost，aswellas，probably，todinewiththePRINCESS
Nechludoff（forIthoughtthat，onlearningwhatimportantfolkI
wasinthehabitofmixingwith，theGrapswouldnolongerthinkitworthwhiletopretendtome）。However，justastheywereleaving，IinvitedIlinkatocomeandseemeanotherday；butheonlymurmuredsomethingunintelligible，anditwasplainthathemeantnevertosetfootinthehouseagain。
Whentheyhaddeparted，Isetoffonmyroundofcalls。Woloda，whomIhadaskedthatmorningtocomewithme，inorderthatI
mightnotfeelquitesoshyaswhenaltogetheralone，haddeclinedonthegroundthatfortwobrotherstobeseendrivinginonedrozhkiwouldappearsohorribly\"proper。\"
XVIII
THEVALAKHINFAMILY
AccordinglyIsetoffalone。MyfirstcallontheroutelayattheValakhinmansion。ItwasnowthreeyearssinceIhadseenSonetchka，andmyloveforherhadlongbecomeathingofthepast，yettherestilllingeredinmyheartasortofclear，touchingrecollectionofourbygonechildishaffection。Atintervals，also，duringthosethreeyears，IhadfoundmyselfrecallinghermemorywithsuchforceandvividnessthatIhadactuallyshedtears，andimaginedmyselftobeinlovewithheragain，butthoseoccasionshadnotlastedmorethanafewminutesatatime，andhadbeenlonginrecurring。
IknewthatSonetchkaandhermotherhadbeenabroad——that，infact，theyhadbeensoforthelasttwoyears。Also，Ihadheardthattheyhadbeeninacarriageaccident，andthatSonetchka’sfacehadbeensobadlycutwiththebrokenglassthatherbeautywasmarred。AsIdrovetotheirhouse，IkeptrecallingtheoldSonetchkatomymind，andwonderingwhatshewouldlooklikewhenImether。SomehowIimaginedthat，afterhertwoyears’sojournabroad，shewouldlookverytall，withabeautifulwaist，and，thoughsedateandimposing，extremelyattractive。Somehow，also，myimaginationrefusedtopictureherwithherfacedisfiguredwithscars，but，onthecontrary，sinceIhadreadsomewhereofaloverwhoremainedtruetohisadoredoneinspiteofherdisfigurementwithsmallpox，strovetoimaginethatIwasinlovewithSonetchka，forthepurposeofpridingmyselfonholdingtomytrothinspiteofherscars——Yet，asamatteroffact，Iwasnotreallyinlovewithherduringthatdrive，buthavingoncestirredupinmyselfoldMEMORIESoflove，feltPREPAREDtofallintothatcondition，andthemoresobecause，oflate，myconsciencehadoftenbeenprickingmeforhavingdiscardedsomanyofmyoldflames。
TheValakhinslivedinaneatlittlewoodenmansionapproachedbyacourtyard。Igainedadmittancebyringingabell（thenararityinMoscow），andwasreceivedbyamincing，smartly-attiredpage。
Heeithercouldnotormadenoattempttoinformmewhethertherewasanyoneathome，but，leavingmealoneinthedarkhall，ranoffdownastilldarkercorridor。ForalongtimeIwaitedinsolitudeinthisgloomyplace，outofwhich，inadditiontothefrontdoorandthecorridor，thereonlyopenedadoorwhichatthemomentwasclosed。Rathersurprisedatthedismalappearanceofthehouse，Icametotheconclusionthatthereasonwasthatitsinmateswerestillabroad。Afterfiveminutes，however，thedoorleadingintothesalonwasopenedbythepageboy，whothenconductedmeintoaneat，butnotrichlyfurnished，drawing-room，wherepresentlyIwasjoinedbySonetchka。
Shewasnowseventeenyearsold，andverysmallandthin，aswellasofanunhealthypallorofface。Noscarsatallwerevisible，however，andthebeautiful，prominenteyesandbright，cheerfulsmilewerethesameasIhadknownandlovedinmychildhood。I
hadnotexpectedhertolookatalllikethis，andthereforecouldnotatoncelavishuponherthesentimentwhichIhadbeenpreparingontheway。ShegavemeherhandintheEnglishfashion（whichwasthenasmuchanoveltyasadoor-bell），and，bestowinguponmineafranksqueeze，satdownonthesofabymyside。
\"Ah！howgladIamtoseeyou，mydearNicolas！\"shesaidasshelookedmeinthefacewithanexpressionofpleasuresosincerethatinthewords\"mydearNicolas\"Icaughtthepurelyfriendlyratherthanthepatronisingnote。Tomysurprisesheseemedtomesimpler，kinder，andmoresisterlyafterherforeigntourthanshehadbeenbeforeit。True，Icouldnowseethatshehadtwosmallscarsbetweenhernoseandtemples，butherwonderfuleyesandsmilefittedinexactlywithmyrecollections，andshoneasofold。
\"Buthowgreatlyyouhavechanged！\"shewenton。\"Youarequitegrown-upnow。AndI-I-well，whatdoyouthinkofme？\"
\"Ishouldneverhaveknownyou，\"Ireplied，despitethefactthatatthemomentIwasthinkingthatIshouldhaveknownheranywhereandalways。
\"Why？AmIgrownsougly？\"sheinquiredwithamovementofherhead。
\"Oh，no，decidedlynot！\"Ihastenedtoreply。\"Butyouhavegrowntallerandolder。Asforbeinguglier，why，youareeven——
\"Yes，yes；nevermind。Doyourememberourdancesandgames，andSt。Jerome，andMadameDorat？\"（Asamatteroffact，IcouldnotrecollectanyMadameDorat，butsawthatSonetchkawasbeingledawaybythejoyofherchildishrecollections，andmixingthemupalittle）。\"Ah！whatalovelytimeitwas！\"shewenton——andoncemorethereshonebeforemethesameeyesandsmileasIhadalwayscarriedinmymemory。Whileshehadbeenspeaking，Ihadbeenthinkingovermypositionatthepresentmoment，andhadcometotheconclusionthatIwasinlovewithher。Theinstant，however，thatIarrivedatthatresultmycareless，happymoodvanished，amistseemedtoarisebeforemewhichconcealedevenhereyesandsmile，and，blushinghotly，Ibecametongue-tiedandill-at-ease。
\"Buttimesaredifferentnow，\"shewentonwithasighandalittleliftingofhereyebrows。\"Everythingseemsworsethanitusedtobe，andourselvestoo。Isitnotso，Nicolas？\"
Icouldreturnhernoanswer，butsatsilentlylookingather。
\"WherearethoseIwinsandKornakoffsnow？Doyourememberthem？\"
shecontinued，looking，Ithink，withsomecuriosityatmyblushing，downcastcountenance。\"Whatsplendidtimesweusedtohave！\"
StillIcouldnotanswerher。
Thenextmoment，IwasrelievedfromthisawkwardpositionbytheentryofoldMadameValakhinintotheroom。Rising，Ibowed，andstraightwayrecoveredmyfacultyofspeech。Ontheotherhand，anextraordinarychangenowtookplaceinSonetchka。Allhergaietyandbonhomiedisappeared，hersmilebecamequiteadifferentone，and，exceptforthepointofhershortnessofstature，shebecamejusttheladyfromabroadwhomIhadexpectedtofindinher。Yetforthischangetherewasnoapparentreason，sincehermothersmiledeverywhitaspleasantly，andexpressedinhereverymovementjustthesamebenignity，asofold。Seatingherselfinherarm-chair，theoldladysignedtometocomeandsitbesideher；afterwhichshesaidsomethingtoherdaughterinEnglish，andSonetchkalefttheroom——afactwhichstillfurtherhelpedtorelieveme。Madametheninquiredaftermyfatherandbrother，andpassedontospeakofhergreatbereavement——thelossofherhusband。Presently，however，sheseemedtobecomesensibleofthefactthatIwasnothelpingmuchintheconversation，forshegavemealookasmuchastosay：\"If，now，mydearboy，youweretogetup，totakeyourleave，andtodepart，itwouldbewell。\"
Butacuriouscircumstancehadovertakenme。Whileshehadbeenspeakingofherbereavement，Ihadrecalledtomyself，notonlythefactthatIwasinlove，buttheprobabilitythatthemotherknewofit：whereuponsuchafitofbashfulnesshadcomeuponmethatIfeltpowerlesstoputanymemberofmybodytoitslegitimateuse。IknewthatifIweretoriseandwalkIshouldhavetothinkwheretoplanteachfoot，whattodowithmyhead，whatwithmyhands，andsoon。Inaword，IforesawthatIshouldbeverymuchasIhadbeenonthenightwhenIpartooktoofreelyofchampagne，andtherefore，sinceIfeltuncertainofbeingabletomanagemyselfifIDIDrise，IendedbyfeelingUNABLEtorise。Meanwhile，Ishouldsay，Sonetchkahadreturnedtotheroomwithherwork，andseatedherselfinafarcorner——acornerwhence，asIwasneverthelesssensible，shecouldobserveme。
Madamemusthavefeltsomesurpriseasshegazedatmycrimsonfaceandnotedmycompleteimmobility，butIdecidedthatitwasbettertocontinuesittinginthatabsurdpositionthantorisksomethingunpleasantbygettingupandwalking。ThusIsatonandon，inthehopethatsomeunforeseenchancewoulddelivermefrommypredicament。Thatunforeseenchanceatlengthpresenteditselfinthepersonofanunforeseenyoungman，whoenteredtheroomwithanairofbeingoneofthehousehold，andbowedtomepolitelyashedidso：whereuponMadamerose，excusedherselftomeforhavingtospeakwithher\"hommed’affaires，\"andfinallygavemeaglancewhichsaid：\"Well，ifyouDOmeantogoonsittingthereforever，atleastIcan’tdriveyouaway。\"
Accordingly，withagreateffortIalsorose，but，findingitimpossibletodoanyleave-taking，movedawaytowardsthedoor，followedbythepityingglancesofmotheranddaughter。AllatonceIstumbledoverachair，althoughitwaslyingquiteoutofmyroute：thereasonformystumblingbeingthatmywholeattentionwascentreduponnottrippingoverthecarpet。Drivingthroughthefreshair，however——whereatfirstImutteredandfidgetedaboutsomuchthatKuzma，mycoachman，askedmewhatwasthematter——Isoonfoundthisfeelingpassaway，andbegantomeditatequietlyconcerningmyloveforSonetchkaandherrelationswithhermother，whichhadappearedtomeratherstrange。When，afterwards，Itoldmyfatherthatmotheranddaughterhadnotseemedonthebestoftermswithoneanother，hesaid：
\"Yes，Madameleadsthepoorgirlanawfullifewithhermeanness。
Yet，\"addedmyfatherwithagreaterdisplayoffeelingthanamanmightnaturallyconceiveforamererelative，\"sheusedtobesuchanoriginal，dear，charmingwoman！Icannotthinkwhathasmadeherchangesomuch。Bytheway，youdidn’tnoticeasecretaryfellowabout，didyou？FancyaRussianladyhavinganaffairewithasecretary！\"
\"Yes，Isawhim，\"Ireplied。
\"Andwasheatleastgood-looking？\"
\"No，notatall。\"
\"Itisextraordinary！\"concludedPapa，withacoughandanirritablehoistofhisshoulder。
\"Well，Iaminlove！\"wasmysecretthoughttomyselfasIdrovealonginmydrozhki。
XIX
THEKORNAKOFFS
MYsecondcallontheroutelayattheKornakoffs’，wholivedonthefirstfloorofalargemansionfacingtheArbat。Thestaircaseofthebuildinglookedextremelyneatandorderly，yetinnowayluxurious——beinglinedonlywithdruggetpinneddownwithhighly-polishedbrassrods。Nowherewerethereanyflowersormirrorstobeseen。Thesalon，too，withitspolishedfloor，whichItraversedonmywaytothedrawing-room，wasdecoratedinthesamecold，severe，unostentatiousstyle。Everythinginitlookedbrightandsolid，butnotnew，andpictures，flower-
stands，andarticlesofbric-a-bracwerewhollyabsent。Inthedrawing-roomIfoundsomeoftheyoungprincessesseated，butseatedwiththesortofcorrect，\"company\"airaboutthemwhichgaveonetheimpressionthattheysatlikethatonlywhenguestswereexpected。
\"Mammawillbeherepresently，\"theeldestofthemsaidtomeassheseatedherselfbymyside。Forthenextquarterofanhour，thisyoungladyentertainedmewithsuchaneasyflowofsmall-
talkthattheconversationneverflaggedamoment。YetsomehowshemadesopatentthefactthatshewasjustentertainingmethatIfeltnotaltogetherpleased。Amongstotherthings，shetoldmethattheirbrotherStephen（whomtheycalledEtienne，andwhohadbeentwoyearsattheCollegeofCadets）hadnowreceivedhiscommission。Whenevershespokeofhim，andmoreparticularlywhenshetoldmethathehadfloutedhismother’swishesbyenteringtheHussars，sheassumedanervousair，andimmediatelyhersisters，sittingthereinsilence，alsoassumedanervousair。When，again，shespokeofmygrandmother’sdeath，sheassumedaMOURNFULair，andimmediatelytheothersalldidthesame。Finally，whensherecalledhowIhadoncestruckSt。Jeromeandbeenexpelledfromtheroom，shelaughedandshowedherbadteeth，andimmediatelyalltheotherprincesseslaughedandshowedtheirbadteethtoo。
Next，thePrincess-Motherherselfentered——alittledried-upwoman，withawanderingglanceandahabitofalwayslookingatsomebodyelsewhenshewasaddressingone。Takingmyhand，sheraisedherowntomylipsformetokissit——whichotherwise，notsupposingittobenecessary，Ishouldnothavedone。
\"HowpleasedIamtoseeyou！\"shesaidwithherusualclearnessofarticulationasshegazedatherdaughters。\"Andhowlikeyourmotheryoulook！Doeshenot，Lise？\"
Liseassented，thoughIknewforafactthatIdidnotresemblemymotherintheleast。
\"Andwhatagrown-upyouhavebecome！MyEtienne，youwillremember，isyoursecondcousin。No，notsecondcousin——whatisit，Lise？MymotherwasBarbaraDimitrievna，daughterofDimitriNicolaevitch，andyourgrandmotherwasNataliaNicolaevna。\"
\"ThenheisourTHIRDcousin，Mamma，\"saidtheeldestgirl。
\"Oh，howyoualwaysconfuseme！\"washermother’sangryreply。
\"Notthirdcousin，butCOUSINGERMAN——thatisyourrelationshiptoEtienne。Heisanofficernow。Didyouknowit？Itisnotwellthatheshouldhavehisownwaytoomuch。Youyoungmenneedkeepinginhand，or——！Well，youarenotvexedbecauseyouroldaunttellsyoutheplaintruth？IalwayskeptEtiennestrictlyinhand，forIfounditnecessarytodoso。\"
\"Yes，thatishowourrelationshipstands，\"shewenton。\"PrinceIvanIvanovitchismyuncle，andyourlatemother’sunclealso。