Atlength，onmymostsacred，sacredwordofhonourtorepay（awordtowhich，asIcouldseefromhisface，hedidnotaltogethertrust），BasilsofaryieldedtohisfondnessformeandhisremembranceofthemanyservicesIhaddonehimastopaythecabman。Thusallmybeautifulfeelingsendedinsmoke。WhenI
wentupstairstodressforchurchandgotoCommunionwiththerestIfoundthatmynewclotheshadnotyetcomehome，andsoI
couldnotwearthem。ThenIsinnedheadlong。Donningmyothersuit，IwenttoCommunioninasadstateofmentalperturbation，andfilledwithcompletedistrustofallmyfinerimpulses。
IX
HOWIPREPAREDMYSELFFORTHEEXAMINATIONS
OntheThursdayinEasterweekPapa，mysister，Katenka，andMimiwentawayintothecountry，andnooneremainedinmygrandmother’sgreathousebutWoloda，St。Jerome，andmyself。TheframeofmindwhichIhadexperiencedonthedayofmyconfessionandduringmysubsequentexpeditiontothemonasteryhadnowcompletelypassedaway，andleftbehinditonlyadim，thoughpleasing，memorywhichdailybecamemoreandmoresubmergedbytheimpressionsofthisemancipatedexistence。
Thefolioendorsed\"RulesofMyLife\"layconcealedbeneathapileofschool-books。Althoughtheideaofthepossibilityofframingrules，foreveryoccasioninmylifeandalwayslettingmyselfbeguidedbythemstillpleasedme（sinceitappearedanideaatoncesimpleandmagnificent，andIwasdeterminedtomakepracticalapplicationofit），Iseemedsomehowtohaveforgottentoputitintopracticeatonce，andkeptdeferringdoingsountilsuchandsuchamoment。Atthesametime，Itookpleasureinthethoughtthateveryideawhichnowenteredmyheadcouldbeallottedpreciselytooneorotherofmythreesectionsoftasksandduties——thoseforortoGod，thoseforortomyneighbour，andthoseforortomyself。\"Icanalwaysrefereverythingtothem，\"
Isaidtomyself，\"aswellasthemany，manyotherideaswhichoccurtomeononesubjectoranother。\"YetatthisperiodI
oftenaskedmyself，\"WasIbetterandmoretruthfulwhenIonlybelievedinthepowerofthehumanintellect，oramImoresonow，whenIamlosingthefacultyofdevelopingthatpower，andamindoubtbothastoitspotencyandastoitsimportance？\"TothisIcouldreturnnopositiveanswer。
Thesenseoffreedom，combinedwiththespring-likefeelingofvagueexpectationtowhichIhavereferredalready，sounsettledmethatIcouldnotkeepmyselfinhand——couldmakenonebutthesorriestofpreparationsformyUniversityordeal。ThusIwasbusyintheschoolroomonemorning，andfullyawarethatImustworkhard，seeingthatto-morrowwasthedayofmyexaminationinasubjectofwhichIhadthetwowholequestionsstilltoreadup；yetnosoonerhadabreathofspringcomewaftedthroughthewindowthanIfeltasthoughthereweresomethingquitedifferentthatIwishedtorecalltomymemory。Myhandslaiddownmybook，myfeetbegantomoveofthemselves，andtosetmewalkingupanddowntheroom，andmyheadfeltasthoughsomeonehadsuddenlytouchedinitalittlespringandsetsomemachineinmotion——soeasilyandswiftlyandnaturallydidallsortsofpleasingfanciesofwhichIcouldcatchnomorethantheradiancybegincoursingthroughit。Thusonehour，twohours，elapsedunperceived。EvenifIsatdowndeterminedlytomybook，andmanagedtoconcentratemywholeattentionuponwhatIwasreading，suddenlytherewouldsoundinthecorridorthefootstepsofawomanandtherustleofherdress。Instantlyeverythingwouldescapemymind，andIwouldfinditimpossibletoremainstillanylonger，howevermuchIknewthatthewomancouldonlybeeitherGashaormygrandmother’soldsewing-maidmovingaboutinthecorridor。\"YetsupposeitshouldbeSHEallatonce？\"I
wouldsaytomyself。\"SupposeITisbeginningnow，andIweretoloseit？\"and，dartingoutintothecorridor，Iwouldfind，eachtime，thatitwasonlyGasha。YetforlongenoughafterwardsI
couldnotrecallmyattentiontomystudies。Alittlespringhadbeentouchedinmyhead，andastrangementalfermentstartedafresh。Again，thateveningIwassittingalonebesideatallowcandleinmyroom。SuddenlyIlookedupforamoment——tosnuffthecandle，ortostraightenmyselfinmychair——andatoncebecameawareofnothingbutthedarknessinthecornersandtheblankoftheopendoorway。Then，Ialsobecameconscioushowstillthehousewas，andfeltasthoughIcoulddonothingelsethangoonlisteningtothatstillness，andgazingintotheblacksquareofthatopendoorway，andgraduallysinkingintoabrownstudyasIsattherewithoutmoving。Atintervals，however，Iwouldgetup，andgodownstairs，andbeginwanderingthroughtheemptyrooms。OnceIsatalongwhileinthesmalldrawing-roomasI
listenedtoGashaplaying\"TheNightingale\"（withtwofingers）onthepianointhelargedrawing-room，whereasolitarycandleburned。Later，whenthemoonwasbright，Ifeltobligedtogetoutofbedandtoleanoutofthewindow，sothatImightgazeintothegarden，andatthelightedroofoftheShaposnikoffmansion，thestraighttowerofourparishchurch，andthedarkshadowsofthefenceandthelilac-bushwheretheylayblackuponthepath。SolongdidIremaintherethat，whenIatlengthreturnedtobed，itwasteno’clockinthemorningbeforeIcouldopenmyeyesagain。
Inshort，haditnotbeenforthetutorswhocametogivemelessons，aswellasforSt。Jerome（whoatintervals，andverygrudgingly，appliedaspurtomyself-conceit）and，mostofall，forthedesiretofigureas\"clever\"intheeyesofmyfriendNechludoff（wholookedupondistinctionsinUniversityexaminationsasamatteroffirst-rateimportance）——haditnotbeenforallthesethings，Isay，thespringandmynewfreedomwouldhavecombinedtomakemeforgeteverythingIhadeverlearnt，andsotogothroughtheexaminationstonopurposewhatsoever。
X
THEEXAMINATIONINHISTORY
ONthe16thofAprilIentered，forthefirsttime，andunderthewingofSt。Jerome，thegreathalloftheUniversity。IhaddriventherewithSt。Jeromeinoursmartphaetonandwearingthefirstfrockcoatofmylife，whilethewholeofmyotherclothes——
evendowntomysocksandlinen——werenewandofagrandersort。
WhenaSwisswaiterrelievedmeofmygreatcoat，andIstoodbeforehiminallthebeautyofmyattire，Ifeltalmostsorrytodazzlehimso。YetIhadnosoonerenteredthebright，carpeted，crowdedhall，andcaughtsightofhundredsofotheryoungmeningymnasium[TheRussiangymnasium=theEnglishgrammarorsecondaryschool。]uniformsorfrockcoats（ofwhombutafewthrewmeanindifferentglance），aswellas，atthefarend，ofsomesolemn-lookingprofessorswhowereseatedonchairsorwalkingcarelesslyaboutamongsometables，thanIatoncebecamedisabusedofthenotionthatIshouldattractthegeneralattention，whiletheexpressionofmyface，whichathome，andeveninthevestibuleoftheUniversitybuildings，haddenotedonlyakindofvagueregretthatIshouldhavetopresentsoimportantanddistinguishedanappearance，becameexchangedforanexpressionofthemostacutenervousnessanddejection。
However，IsoonpickedupagainwhenIperceivedsittingatoneofthedesksaverybadly，untidilydressedgentlemanwho，thoughnotreallyold，wasalmostentirelygrey。Hewasoccupyingaseatquiteatthebackofthehallandalittleapartfromtherest，soIhastenedtositdownbesidehim，andthenfelltolookingatthecandidatesforexamination，andtoformingconclusionsaboutthem。Manydifferentfiguresandfacesweretheretobeseenthere；yet，inmyopinion，theyallseemedtodividethemselvesintothreeclasses。Firstofall，therewereyouthslikemyself，attendingforexaminationinthecompanyoftheirparentsortutors。AmongsuchIcouldseetheyoungestIwin（accompaniedbyFrost）andIlinkaGrap（accompaniedbyhisoldfather）。Allyouthsofthisclassworetheearlybeginningsofbeards，sportedprominentlinen，satquietlyintheirplaces，andneveropenedthebooksandnotebookswhichtheyhadbroughtwiththem，butgazedattheprofessorsandexaminationtableswithill-concealednervousness。Thesecondclassofcandidateswereyoungmeningymnasiumuniforms。Severalofthemhadattainedtothedignityofshaving，andmostofthemknewoneanother。Theytalkedloudly，calledtheprofessorsbytheirnamesandsurnames，occupiedthemselvesingettingtheirsubjectsready，exchangednotebooks，climbedoverdesks，fetchedthemselvespiesandsandwichesfromthevestibule，andatethemthenandtheremerelyloweringtheirheadstothelevelofadeskforpropriety’ssake。
Lastly，thethirdclassofcandidates（whichseemedasmallone）
consistedofoldishmen——someoftheminfrockcoats，butthemajorityinjackets，andwithnolinentobeseen。Thesepreservedaseriousdemeanour，satbythemselves，andhadaverydingylook。Themanwhohadaffordedmeconsolationbybeingworsedressedthanmyselfbelongedtothisclass。Leaningforwarduponhiselbows，andrunninghisfingersthroughhisgrey，dishevelledhairashereadsomebookoranother，hehadthrownmeonlyamomentaryglance——andthatnotaveryfriendlyone——
fromapairofglitteringeyes。Then，asIsatdown，hehadfrownedgrimly，andstuckashinyelbowouttopreventmefromcominganynearer。Ontheotherhand，thegymnasiummenwereover-sociable，andIfeltratherafraidoftheirproximity。Oneofthemdidnothesitatetothrustabookintomyhands，saying，\"Givethattothatfellowoverthere，willyou？\"whileanotherofthemexclaimedashepushedpastme，\"Byyourleave，youngfellow！\"andathirdmadeuseofmyshoulderasapropwhenhewantedtoscrambleoveradesk。Allthisseemedtomealittleroughandunpleasant，forIlookeduponmyselfasimmenselysuperiortosuchfellows，andconsideredthattheyoughtnottotreatmewithsuchfamiliarity。Atlength，thenamesbegantobecalledout。Thegymnasiummenwalkedoutboldly，answeredtheirquestions（apparently）well，andcamebacklookingcheerful。Myownclassofcandidatesweremuchmorediffident，aswellasappearedtoanswerworse。Oftheoldishmen，someansweredwell，andsomeverypoorly。Whenthename\"Semenoff\"wascalledoutmyneighbourwiththegreyhairandglitteringeyesjostledmeroughly，steppedovermylegs，andwentuptooneoftheexaminers’tables。Itwasplainfromtheaspectoftheprofessorsthatheansweredwellandwithassurance，yet，onreturningtohisplace，hedidnotwaittoseewherehewasplacedonthelist，butquietlycollectedhisnotebooksanddeparted。SeveraltimesIshudderedatthesoundofthevoicecallingoutthenames，butmyturndidnotcomeinexactalphabeticalorder，thoughalreadynameshadbeguntobecalledbeginningwith\"I。\"
\"IkoninandTenieff！\"suddenlyshoutedsomeonefromtheprofessors’endofthehall。
\"Goon，Ikonin！Youarebeingcalled，\"saidatall，red-facedgymnasiumstudentnearme。\"ButwhoisthisBARteniefforMORteniefforsomebody？Idon’tknowhim。\"
\"Itmustbeyou，\"whisperedSt。Jeromeloudlyinmyear。
\"MYnameisIRtenieff，\"Isaidtothered-facedstudent。\"Doyouthinkthatwasthenametheywerecallingout？\"
\"Yes。Whyonearthdon’tyougoup？\"hereplied。\"Lord，whatadandy！\"headdedunderhisbreath，yetnotsoquietlybutthatI
failedtohearthewordsastheycamewaftedtomefrombelowthedesk。InfrontofmewalkedIkonin——atallyoungmanofabouttwenty-five，whowasoneofthosewhomIhadclassedasoldishmen。Heworeatightbrownfrockcoatandabluesatintie，andhadwispsofflaxenhaircarefullybrushedoverhiscollarinthepeasantstyle。Hisappearancehadalreadycaughtmyattentionwhenweweresittingamongthedesks，andhadgivenmeanimpressionthathewasnotbad-looking。AlsoIhadnoticedthathewasverytalkative。Yetwhatstruckmemostabouthisphysiognomywasatuft，ofqueerredhairswhichhehadunderhischin，aswellas，stillmore，astrangehabitofcontinuallyunbuttoninghiswaistcoatandscratchinghischestunderhisshirt。
BehindthetabletowhichweweresummonedsatthreeProfessors，noneofwhomacknowledgedoursalutations。Ayoungishprofessorwasshufflingabundleofticketslikeapackofcards；anotherone，withastaronhisfrockcoat，wasgazinghardatagymnasiumstudent，whowasrepeatingsomethingatgreatspeedaboutCharlestheGreat，andaddingtoeachofhissentencesthewordnakonetz[=theEnglishcolloquialism\"youknow。\"]whileathirdone——anoldmaninspectacles——proceededtobendhisheaddownasweapproached，and，peeringatusthroughhisglasses，pointedsilentlytothetickets。IfelthisglancegooverbothmyselfandIkonin，andalsofeltsurethatsomethingaboutushaddispleasedhim（perhapsitwasIkonin’sredhairs），for，aftertakinganotherlookatthepairofus，hemotionedimpatientlytoustobequickintakingourtickets。Ifeltvexedandoffended——
firstly，becausenoneoftheprofessorshadrespondedtoourbows，and，secondly，becausetheyevidentlycoupledmewithIkoninundertheonedenominationof\"candidates，\"andsowerecondemningmeinadvanceonaccountofIkonin’sredhairs。Itookmyticketboldlyandmadereadytoanswer，buttheprofessor’seyepassedovermyheadandalighteduponIkonin。Accordingly，I
occupiedmyselfinreadingmyticket。Thequestionsprintedonitwereallfamiliartome，so，asIsilentlyawaitedmyturn，I
gazedatwhatwaspassingnearme，Ikoninseemedinnowaydiffident——ratherthereverse，for，inreachingforhisticket，hethrewhisbodyhalf-wayacrossthetable。Thenhegavehislonghairashake，andrapidlyconnedoverwhatwaswrittenonhisticket。Ithinkhehadjustopenedhismouthtoanswerwhentheprofessorwiththestardismissedthegymnasiumstudentwithawordofcommendation，andthenturnedandlookedatIkonin。Atoncethelatterseemedtakenback，andstoppedshort。Forabouttwominutestherewasadeadsilence。
\"Well？\"saidtheprofessorinthespectacles。
OncemoreIkoninopenedhismouth，andoncemoreremainedsilent。
\"Come！Youarenottheonlyonetobeexamined。Doyoumeantoanswerordoyounot？\"saidtheyoungishprofessor，butIkonindidnotevenlookathim。Hewasgazingfixedlyathisticketandutterednotasingleword。Theprofessorinthespectaclesscannedhimthroughhisglasses，thenoverthem，thenwithoutthem（for，indeed，hehadtimetotakethemoff，towipetheirlensescarefully，andtoreplacethem）。StillnotawordfromIkonin。Allatonce，however，asmilespreaditselfoverhisface，andhegavehislonghairanothershake。Nexthereachedacrossthetable，laiddownhisticket，lookedateachoftheprofessorsinturnandthenatmyself，andfinally，wheelingroundonhisheels，madeagesturewithhishandandreturnedtothedesks。Theprofessorsstaredblanklyatoneanother。
\"Blessthefellow！\"saidtheyoungishprofessor。\"Whatanoriginal！\"
Itwasnowmyturntomovetowardsthetable，buttheprofessorswentontalkinginundertonesamongthemselves，asthoughtheywereunawareofmypresence。Atthemoment，IfeltfirmlypersuadedthatthethreeofthemwereengrossedsolelywiththequestionofwhetherIshouldmerelyPASStheexaminationorwhetherIshouldpassitWELL，andthatitwasonlyswaggerwhichmadethempretendthattheydidnotcareeitherway，andbehaveasthoughtheyhadnotseenme。
Whenatlengththeprofessorinthespectaclesturnedtomewithanairofindifference，andinvitedmetoanswer，Ifelthurt，asIlookedathim，tothinkthatheshouldhavesoundeceivedme：
whereforeIansweredbrokenlyatfirst。Intime，however，thingscameeasiertomytongue，and，inasmuchasallthequestionsboreuponRussianhistory（whichIknewthoroughly），Iendedwitheclat，andevenwentsofar，inmydesiretoconvincetheprofessorsthatIwasnotIkoninandthattheymustnotinanywayconfoundmewithhim，astooffertodrawasecondticket。Theprofessorinthespectacles，however，merelynoddedhishead，said\"Thatwilldo，\"andmarkedsomethinginhisregister。Onreturningtothedesks，Iatoncelearntfromthegymnasiummen（whosomehowseemedtoknoweverything）thatIhadbeenplacedfifth。
XI
MYEXAMINATIONINMATHEMATICS
ATthesubsequentexaminations，ImadeseveralnewacquaintancesinadditiontotheGraps（whomIconsideredunworthyofmynotice）andIwin（whoforsomereasonorotheravoidedme）。WithsomeofthesenewfriendsIgrewquiteintimate，andevenIkoninpluckedupsufficientcouragetoinformme，whenwenextmet，thathewouldhavetoundergore-examinationinhistory——thereasonforhisfailurethistimebeingthattheprofessorofthatfacultyhadneverforgivenhimforlastyear’sexamination，andhad，indeed，\"almostkilled\"himforit。Semenoff（whowasdestinedforthesamefacultyasmyself——thefacultyofmathematics）avoidedeveryoneuptotheverycloseoftheexaminations。Alwaysleaningforwarduponhiselbowsandrunninghisfingersthroughhisgreyhair，hesatsilentandalone。Nevertheless，whencalledupforexaminationinmathematics（hehadnocompaniontoaccompanyhim），hecameoutsecond。Thefirstplacewastakenbyastudentfromthefirstgymnasium——atall，dark，lanky，pale-facedfellowwhoworeablackfoldedcravatandhadhischeeksandforeheaddottedalloverwithpimples。Hishandswereshapelyandslender，buttheirnailsweresobittentothequickthatthefinger-endslookedasthoughtheyhadbeentiedroundwithstripsofthread。Allthisseemedtomesplendid，andwhollybecomingtoastudentofthefirstgymnasium。Hespoketoeveryone，andweallmadefriendswithhim。Tomeinparticularhiswalk，hiseverymovement，hislips，hisdarkeyes，allseemedtohaveinthemsomethingextraordinaryandmagnetic。
OnthedayofthemathematicalexaminationIarrivedearlierthanusualatthehall。Iknewthesyllabuswell，yetthereweretwoquestionsinthealgebrawhichmytutorhadmanagedtopassover，andwhichwerethereforequiteunknowntome。IfIrememberrightly，theyweretheTheoryofCombinationsandNewton’sBinomial。Iseatedmyselfononeofthebackbenchesandporedoverthetwoquestions，but，inasmuchasIwasnotaccustomedtoworkinginanoisyroom，andhadevenlesstimeforpreparationthanIhadanticipated，IsoonfounditdifficulttotakeinallthatIwasreading。
\"Hereheis。Thisway，Nechludoff，\"saidWoloda’sfamiliarvoicebehindme。
IturnedandsawmybrotherandDimitri——theirgownsunbuttoned，andtheirhandswavingagreetingtome——threadingtheirwaythroughthedesks。Amoment’sglancewouldhavesufficedtoshowanyonethattheyweresecond-coursestudents——personstowhomtheUniversitywasasasecondhome。Themerelookoftheiropengownsexpressedatoncedisdainforthe\"merecandidate\"andaknowledgethatthe\"merecandidate’s\"soulwasfilledwithenvyandadmirationofthem。IwascharmedtothinkthateveryonenearmecouldnowseethatIknewtworealsecond-coursestudents：whereforeIhastenedtomeetthemhalf-way。
Woloda，ofcourse，couldnothelpvauntinghissuperiorityalittle。
\"Hullo，yousmug！\"hesaid。\"Haven’tyoubeenexaminedyet？\"
\"No。\"
\"Well，whatareyoureading？Aren’tyousufficientlyprimed？\"
\"Yes，exceptintwoquestions。Idon’tunderstandthematall。\"
\"Eh，what？\"——andWolodastraightwaybegantoexpoundtomeNewton’sBinomial，butsorapidlyandunintelligiblythat，suddenlyreadinginmyeyescertainmisgivingsastothesoundnessofhisknowledge，heglancedalsoatDimitri’sface。
Clearly，hesawthesamemisgivingsthere，forheblushedhotly，thoughstillcontinuinghisinvolvedexplanations。
\"No；holdon，Woloda，andletmetryanddoit，\"putinDimitriatlength，withaglanceattheprofessors’cornerasheseatedhimselfbesideme。
Icouldseethatmyfriendwasinthebestofhumours。Thiswasalwaysthecasewithhimwhenhewassatisfiedwithhimself，andwasoneofthethingsinhimwhichIlikedbest。Inasmuchasheknewmathematicswellandcouldspeakclearly，hehammeredthequestionsothoroughlyintomyheadthatIcanrememberittothisday。HardlyhadhefinishedwhenSt。Jeromesaidtomeinaloudwhisper，\"Avous，Nicolas，\"andIfollowedIkoninoutfromamongthedeskswithouthavinghadanopportunityofgoingthroughtheOTHERquestionofwhichIwasignorant。Atthetablewhichwenowapproachedwereseatedtwoprofessors，whilebeforetheblackboardstoodagymnasiumstudent，whowasworkingsomeformulaaloud，andknockingbitsofftheendofthechalkwithhistoovigorousstrokes。HeevencontinuedwritingafteroneoftheProfessorshadsaidtohim\"Enough！\"andbiddenusdrawourtickets。\"SupposeIgettheTheoryofCombinations？\"Ithoughttomyselfasmytremulousfingerstookaticketfromamongabundlewrappedintornpaper。Ikonin，forhispart，reachedacrossthetablewiththesameassurance，andthesamesidelongmovementofhiswholebody，ashehaddoneatthepreviousexamination。
Takingthetopmostticketwithouttroublingtomakefurtherselection，hejustglancedatit，andthenfrownedangrily。
\"Ialwaysdrawthiskindofthing，\"hemuttered。
Ilookedatmine。Horrors！ItwastheTheoryofCombinations！
\"Whathaveyougot？\"whisperedIkoninatthispoint。
Ishowedhim。
\"Oh，Iknowthat，\"hesaid。
\"Willyoumakeanexchange，then？\"
\"No。Besides，itwouldbeallthesameformeifIdid，\"hecontrivedtowhisperjustastheprofessorcalledusuptotheblackboard。\"Idon’tfeeluptoanythingto-day。\"
\"Theneverythingislost！\"Ithoughttomyself。InsteadofthebrilliantresultwhichIhadanticipatedIshouldbeforevercoveredwithshame——moresoeventhanIkonin！Suddenly，undertheveryeyesoftheprofessor，Ikoninturnedtome，snatchedmyticketoutofmyhands，andhandedmehisown。Ilookedathisticket。ItwasNewton’sBinomial！
Theprofessorwasayoungishman，withapleasant，cleverexpressionofface——aneffectchieflyduetotheprominenceofthelowerpartofhisforehead。
\"What？Areyouexchangingtickets，gentlemen？\"hesaid。
\"No。Heonlygavemehistolookat，professor，\"answeredIkonin——
and，sureenough，theword\"professor\"wasthelastwordthatheutteredthere。Onceagain，hesteppedbackwardstowardsmefromthetable，onceagainhelookedateachoftheprofessorsinturnandthenatmyself，onceagainhesmiledfaintly，andonceagainheshruggedhisshouldersasmuchastosay，\"Itisnouse，mygoodsirs。\"Thenhereturnedtothedesks。Subsequently，Ilearntthatthiswasthethirdyearhehadvainlyattemptedtomatriculate。
Iansweredmyquestionwell，forIhadjustreaditup；andtheprofessor，kindlyinformingmethatIhaddoneevenbetterthanwasrequired，placedmefifth。
XII
MYEXAMINATIONINLATIN
AllwentwelluntilmyexaminationinLatin。Sofar，agymnasiumstudentstoodfirstonthelist，Semenoffsecond，andmyselfthird。OnthestrengthofitIhadbeguntoswaggeralittle，andtothinkthat，forallmyyouth，Iwasnottobedespised。
Fromthefirstdayoftheexaminations，IhadheardeveryonespeakwithaweoftheProfessorofLatin，whoappearedtobesomesortofawildbeastwhobattenedonthefinancialruinofyoungmen（ofthose，thatistosay，whopaidtheirownfees）andspokeonlyintheGreekandLatintongues。However，St。Jerome，whohadcoachedmeinLatin，spokeencouragingly，andImyselfthoughtthat，sinceIcouldtranslateCiceroandcertainpartsofHoracewithouttheaidofalexicon，Ishoulddonoworsethantherest。
Yetthingsprovedotherwise。Allthemorningtheairhadbeenfullofrumoursconcerningthetribulationsofcandidateswhohadgoneupbeforeme：rumoursofhowoneyoungfellowhadbeenaccordedanought，anotheroneasinglemarkonly，athirdonegreetedwithabuseandthreatenedwithexpulsion，andsoforth。
OnlySemenoffandthefirstgymnasiumstudenthad，asusual，goneupquietly，andreturnedtotheirseatswithfivemarkscreditedtotheirnames。AlreadyIfeltaprescienceofdisasterwhenIkoninandmyselffoundourselvessummonedtothelittletableatwhichtheterribleprofessorsatinsolitarygrandeur。
Theterribleprofessorturnedouttobealittlethin，bilious-
lookingmanwithhairlongandgreasyandafaceexpressiveofextraordinarysullenness。HandingIkoninacopyofCicero’sOrations，hebidhimtranslate。TomygreatastonishmentIkoninnotonlyreadoffsomeoftheLatin，butevenmanagedtoconstrueafewlinestotheprofessor’sprompting。Atthesametime，consciousofmysuperiorityoversuchafeeblecompanion，Icouldnothelpsmilingalittle，andevenlookingrathercontemptuous，whenitcametoaquestionofanalysis，andIkonin，asonpreviousoccasions，plungedintoasilencewhichpromisednevertoend。Ihadhopedtopleasetheprofessorbythatknowing，slightlysarcasticsmileofmine，but，asamatteroffact，I
contrivedtodoquitethecontrary。
\"Evidentlyyouknowbetterthanhe，sinceyouarelaughing，\"hesaidtomeinbadRussian。\"Well，weshallsee。Tellmetheanswer，then。\"
LaterIlearntthattheprofessorwasIkonin’sguardian，andthatIkoninactuallylivedwithhim。IlostnotimeinansweringthequestioninsyntaxwhichhadbeenputtoIkonin，buttheprofessoronlypulledalongfaceandturnedawayfromme。
\"Well，yourturnwillcomepresently，andthenweshallseehowmuchyouknow，\"heremarked，withoutlookingatme，butproceedingtoexplaintoIkoninthepointonwhichhehadquestionedhim。
\"Thatwilldo，\"headded，andIsawhimputdownfourmarkstoIkonininhisregister。\"Come！\"Ithoughttomyself。\"Hecannotbesostrictafterall。\"
WhenIkoninhadtakenhisdeparturetheprofessorspentfullyfiveminutes——fiveminuteswhichseemedtomefivehours——insettinghisbooksandticketsinorder，inblowinghisnose，inadjustingandsprawlingaboutonhischair，ingazingdownthehall，andinlookinghere，there，andeverywhere——indoingeverything，infact，exceptoncelettinghiseyerestuponme。
Yeteventhatamountofdissimulationdidnotseemtosatisfyhim，forhenextopenedabook，andpretendedtoreadit，foralltheworldasthoughIwerenotthereatall。Imovedalittlenearerhim，andgaveacough。
\"Ah，yes！Youtoo，ofcourse！Well，translatemesomething，\"heremarked，handingmeabookofsomekind。\"Butno；youhadbettertakethis，\"and，turningovertheleavesofaHorace，heindicatedtomeapassagewhichIshouldneverhaveimaginedpossibleoftranslation。
\"Ihavenotpreparedthis，\"Isaid。
\"Oh！Thenyouonlywishtoanswerthingswhichyouhavegotbyheart，doyou？Indeed？No，no；translatemethat。\"
Istartedtogropeforthemeaningofthepassage，buteachquestioninglookwhichIthrewattheprofessorwasmetbyashakeofthehead，aprofoundsigh，andanexclamationof\"No，no！\"Finallyhebangedthebooktowithsuchasnapthathecaughthisfingerbetweenthecovers。Angrilyreleasingit，hehandedmeaticketcontainingquestionsingrammar，and，flinginghimselfbackinhischair，maintainedamenacingsilence。I
shouldhavetriedtoanswerthequestionshadnottheexpressionofhisfacesocloggedmytonguethatnothingseemedtocomefromitright。
\"No，no！That’snotitatall！\"hesuddenlyexclaimedinhishorribleaccentashealteredhisposturetooneofleaningforwarduponthetableandplayingwiththegoldsignet-ringwhichwasnearlyslippingfromthelittlefingerofhislefthand。\"Thatisnotthewaytoprepareforseriousstudy，mygoodsir。Fellowslikeyourselfthinkthat，oncetheyhaveagownandabluecollartotheirbacks，theyhavereachedthesummitofallthingsandbecomestudents。No，no，mydearsir。AsubjectneedstobestudiedFUNDAMENTALLY，\"andsoon，andsoon。
Duringthisspeech（whichwasutteredwithaclippedsortofintonation）Iwentonstaringdullyathisloweredeyelids。
BeginningwithafearlestIshouldlosemyplaceasthirdonthelist，IwentontofearlestIshouldpassatall。Next，thesefeelingsbecamereinforcedbyasenseofinjustice，injuredself-
respect，andunmeritedhumiliation，whilethecontemptwhichI
feltfortheprofessorassomeonenotquite（accordingtomyideas）\"commeilfaut\"——afactwhichIdeducedfromtheshortness，strength，androundnessofhisnails——flaredupinmemoreandmoreandturnedallmyotherfeelingstosheeranimosity。Happening，presently，toglanceatme，andtonotemyquiveringlipsandtear-filledeyes，heseemedtointerpretmyagitationasadesiretobeaccordedmymarksanddismissed：
wherefore，withanairofrelenting，hesaid（inthepresenceofanotherprofessorwhohadjustapproached）：
\"Verywell；Iwillaccordyoua’pass’\"（whichsignifiedtwomarks），\"althoughyoudonotdeserveit。Idososimplyoutofconsiderationforyouryouth，andinthehopethat，whenyoubeginyourUniversitycareer，youwilllearntobelesslight-
minded。\"
Theconcludingphrase，utteredinthehearingoftheotherprofessor（whoatonceturnedhiseyesuponme，asthoughremarking，\"There！Yousee，youngman！\"）completedmydiscomfiture。Foramoment，amistswambeforemyeyes——amistinwhichtheterribleprofessorseemedtobefaraway，ashesatathistablewhileforaninstantawildideadancedthroughmybrain。\"WhatifIDIDdosuchathing？\"Ithoughttomyself。
\"Whatwouldcomeofit？\"However，Ididnotdothethinginquestion，but，onthecontrary，madeabowofpeculiarreverencetoeachoftheprofessors，andwithaslightsmileonmyface——
presumablythesamesmileasthatwithwhichIhadderidedIkonin——turnedawayfromthetable。
Thispieceofunfairnessaffectedmesopowerfullyatthetimethat，hadIbeenafreeagent，Ishouldhaveattendedfornomoreexaminations。Myambitionwasgone（sincenowIcouldnotpossiblybethird），andIthereforelettheotherexaminationspasswithoutanyexertion，orevenagitation，onmypart。InthegenerallistIstillstoodfourth，butthatfailedtointerestme，sinceIhadreasonedthingsouttomyself，andcometotheconclusionthattotryforfirstplacewasstupid——even\"badform：\"that，infact，itwasbettertopassneitherverywellnorverybadly，asWolodahaddone。ThisattitudeIdecidedtomaintainthroughoutthewholeofmyUniversitycareer，notwithstandingthatitwasthefirstpointonwhichmyopinionhaddifferedfromthatofmyfriendDimitri。
Yet，totellthetruth，mythoughtswerealreadyturningtowardsauniform，a\"mortar-board，\"andthepossessionofadrozhkiofmyown，aroomofmyown，and，aboveall，freedomofmyown。Andcertainlytheprospecthaditscharm。
XIII
IBECOMEGROWN-UP
When，onMay8th，Ireturnedhomefromthefinal，thedivinity，examination，Ifoundmyacquaintance，theforemanfromRozonoff’s，awaitingme。Hehadcalledoncebeforetofitmeformygown，aswellasforatunicofglossyblackcloth（thelapelsofwhichwere，onthatoccasion，onlysketchedinchalk），butto-
dayhehadcometobringmetheclothesintheirfinishedstate，withtheirgiltbuttonswrappedintissuepaper。
Donningthegarments，andfindingthemsplendid（notwithstandingthatSt。Jeromeassuredmethatthebackofthetunicwrinkledbadly），IwentdownstairswithacomplacentsmilewhichIwaspowerlesstobanishfrommyface，andsoughtWoloda，tryingthewhiletoaffectunconsciousnessoftheadmiringlooksoftheservants，whocamedartingoutofthehallandcorridortogazeuponmewithravishedeyes。Gabriel，thebutler，overtookmeinthesalle，and，aftercongratulatingmewithmuchempressement，handedme，accordingtoinstructionsfrommyfather，fourbank-
notes，aswellasinformedmethatPapahadalsogivenordersthat，fromthatdayforth，thegroomKuzma，thephaeton，andthebayhorseKrassavchikweretobeentirelyatmydisposal。Iwassooverjoyedatthisnotaltogetherexpectedgood-fortunethatI
couldnolongerfeignindifferenceinGabriel’spresence，but，flusteredandpanting，saidthefirstthingwhichcameintomyhead（\"Krassavchikisasplendidtrotter，\"Ithinkitwas）。Then，catchingsightofthevariousheadsprotrudingfromthedoorsofthehallandcorridor，IfeltthatIcouldbearnomore，andsetoffrunningatfullspeedacrossthesalle，dressedasIwasinthenewtunic，withitsshininggiltbuttons。JustasIburstintoWoloda’sroom，IheardbehindmethevoicesofDubkoffandNechludoff，whohadcometocongratulateme，aswellastoproposeadinnersomewhereandthedrinkingofmuchchampagneinhonourofmymatriculation。Dimitriinformedmethat，thoughhedidnotcareforchampagne，hewouldneverthelessjoinusthateveninganddrinkmyhealth，whileDubkoffremarkedthatIlookedalmostlikeacolonel，andWolodaomittedtocongratulatemeatall，merelysayinginanacidwaythathesupposedweshouldnow——
i。e。intwodaystime——beoffintothecountry。ThetruthwasthatWoloda，thoughpleasedatmymatriculation，didnotaltogetherlikemybecomingasgrown-upashimself。St。Jerome，whoalsojoinedusatthismoment，saidinaverypompousmannerthathisdutieswerenowended，andthat，althoughhedidnotknowwhethertheyhadbeenwelldoneorill，atleasthehaddonehisbest，andmustdepartto-morrowtohisCount’s。InreplyingtotheirvariousremarksIcouldfeel，inspiteofmyself，apleased，agreeable，faintlyself-sufficientsmileplayingovermycountenance，aswellascouldremarkthatthatsmile，communicateditselftothosetowhomIwasspeaking。
SoherewasIwithoutatutor，yetwithmyownprivatedrozhki，mynameprintedonthelistofstudents，aswordandbeltofmyown，andachanceofanoccasionalsalutefromofficials！Inshort，Iwasgrownupand，Isuppose，happy。
Finally，wearrangedtogooutanddineatfiveo’clock，butsinceWolodapresentlywentofftoDubkoff’s，andDimitridisappearedinhisusualfashion（sayingthattherewassomethingheMUSTdobeforedinner），Iwasleftwithtwowholehoursstillatmydisposal。ForatimeIwalkedthroughtheroomsofthehouse，andlookedatmyselfinallthemirrors——firstlywiththetunicbuttoned，thenwithitunbuttoned，andlastlywithonlythetopbuttonfastened。Eachtimeitlookedsplendid。Eventually，thoughanxiousnottoshowanyexcessofdelight，Ifoundmyselfunabletorefrainfromcrossingovertothecoach-houseandstablestogazeatKrassovchik，Kuzma，andthedrozhki。ThenIreturnedandoncemorebeganmytouroftherooms，whereIlookedatmyselfinallthemirrorsasbefore，andcountedmymoneyoverinmypocket——myfacesmilinghappilythewhile。YetnotanhourhadelapsedbeforeIbegantofeelslightlyennuye——tofeelashadeofregretthatnoonewaspresenttoseemeinmysplendidposition。Ibegantolongforlifeandmovement，andsosentoutordersforthedrozhkitobegotready，sinceIhadmadeupmymindtodrivetotheKuznetskiBridgeandmakesomepurchases。
InthisconnectionIrecalledhow，aftermatriculating，WolodahadgoneandboughthimselfalithographofhorsesbyVictorAdamandsomepipesandtobacco：whereforeIfeltthatItoomustdothesame。Amidglancesshowereduponmefromeveryside，andwiththesunlightreflectedfrommybuttons，cap-badge，andsword，I
drovetotheKuznetskiBridge，where，haltingataPictureshop，Ientereditwithmyeyeslookingtoeveryside。ItwasnotpreciselyhorsesbyAdamwhichImeanttobuy，sinceIdidnotwishtobeaccusedoftoocloselyimitatingWoloda；wherefore，outofshameforcausingtheobsequiousshopmensuchagitationasIappearedtodo，Imadeahastyselection，andpitcheduponawater-colourofawoman’sheadwhichIsawdisplayedinthewindow——pricetwentyroubles。YetnosoonerhadIpaidthetwentyroublesoverthecounterthanmyheartsmotemeforhavingputtwosuchbeautifullydressedshop-assistantstosomuchtroubleforsuchatrifle。Moreover，Ifanciedthattheywereregardingmewithsomedisdain。Accordingly，inmydesiretoshowthemwhatmannerofmanIwas，IturnedmyattentiontoasilvertriflewhichIsawdisplayedinashow-case，and，recognisingthatitwasaporte-crayon（priceeighteenroubles），requestedthatitshouldforthwithbewrappedinpaperforme。Next，themoneypaid，andtheinformationacquiredthatsplendidpipesandtobaccoweretobeobtainedinanadjacentemporium，Ibowedtothetwoshopmenpolitely，andissuedintothestreetwiththepictureundermyarm。Attheshopnextdoor（whichhadpaintedonitssign-boardanegrosmokingacigar）Ibought（likewiseoutofadesiretoimitatenoone）someTurkishtobacco，aStamboulhookah，andtwopipes。Oncomingoutoftheshop，IhadjustenteredthedrozhkiwhenIcaughtsightofSemenoff，whowaswalkinghurriedlyalongthepavementwithhisheadbentdown。
Vexedthatheshouldnothaverecognisedme，Icalledouttohimprettyloudly，\"Holdonaminute！\"and，whippingupthedrozhki，soonovertookhim。
\"Howdoyoudo？\"Isaid。
\"Myrespectstoyou，\"hereplied，butwithoutstopping。
\"WhyareyounotinyourUniversityuniform？\"Inextinquired。
Atthishestoppedshortwithafrown，andpartedhiswhiteteethasthoughthesunwerehurtinghiseyes。Thenextmoment，however，hethrewaglanceofstudiedindifferenceatmydrozhkianduniform，andcontinuedonhisway。
FromtheKuznetskiBridge，Idrovetoaconfectioner’sinTverskaiaStreet，and，muchasIshouldhavelikedittobesupposedthatitwasthenewspaperswhichmostinterestedme，I
hadnochoicebuttobeginfallingupontartletaftertartlet。Infact，forallmybashfulnessbeforeagentlemanwhokeptregardingmewithsomecuriosityfrombehindanewspaper，Iatewithgreatswiftnessatartletofeachoftheeightdifferentsortswhichtheconfectionerkept。
Onreachinghome，Iexperiencedaslighttouchofstomach-ache，butpaidnoattentiontoit，andsettoworktoinspectmypurchases。Ofthese，thepicturesomuchdispleasedmethat，insteadofhavingitframedandhunginmyroom，asWolodahaddonewithhis，Itookpainstohideitbehindachestofdrawers，wherenoonecouldseeit。Likewise，thoughIalsofoundtheporte-crayondistasteful，Iwasable，asIlaiditonmytable，tocomfortmyselfwiththethoughtthatitwasatleastaSILVER
article——somuchcapital，asitwere——andlikelytobeveryusefultoastudent。Asforthesmokingthings，Idecidedtoputthemintouseatonce，andtrytheircapabilities。
Unsealingthefourpackages，andcarefullyfillingtheStamboulpipewithsomefine-cut，reddish-yellowTurkishtobacco，I
appliedahotcindertoit，and，takingthemouthpiecebetweenmyfirstandsecondfingers（apositionofthehandwhichgreatlycaughtmyfancy），startedtoinhalethesmoke。
Thesmellofthetobaccoseemeddelightful，yetsomethingburntmymouthandcaughtmebythebreath。Nevertheless，Ihardenedmyheart，andcontinuedtodrawabundantfumesintomyinterior。
ThenItriedblowingringsandretainingthesmoke。Soontheroombecamefilledwithbluevapours，whilethepipestartedtocrackleandthetobaccotoflyoutinsparks。Presently，also，I
begantofeelasmartinginmymouthandagiddinessinmyhead。
Accordingly，Iwasonthepointofstoppingandgoingtolookatmyselfandmypipeinthemirror，when，tomysurprise，Ifoundmyselfstaggeringabout。Theroomwaswhirlingroundandround，andasIpeeredintothemirror（whichIreachedonlywithsomedifficulty）Iperceivedthatmyfacewasaswhiteasasheet。
HardlyhadIthrownmyselfdownuponasofawhensuchnauseaandfaintnesssweptovermethat，makingupmymindthatthepipehadprovedmydeath，Iexpectedeverymomenttoexpire。Terriblyfrightened，Itriedtocalloutforsomeonetocomeandhelpme，andtosendforthedoctor。
However，thispanicofminedidnotlastlong，forIsoonunderstoodwhatthematterwithmewas，andremainedlyingonthesofawitharackingheadacheandmylimbsrelaxedasIstareddullyatthestamponthepackageoftobacco，thePipe-tubecoiledonthefloor，andtheoddsandendsoftobaccoandconfectioner’startletswhichwerelitteredabout。\"Truly，\"I
thoughttomyselfinmydejectionanddisillusionment，\"Icannotbequitegrown-upifIcannotsmokeasotherfellowsdo，andshouldbefatednevertoholdachiboukbetweenmyfirstandsecondfingers，ortoinhaleandpuffsmokethroughaflaxenmoustache！\"
WhenDimitricalledformeatfiveo’clock，hefoundmeinthisunpleasantpredicament。Afterdrinkingaglassofwater，however，Ifeltnearlyrecovered，andreadytogowithhim。
\"Somuchforyourtryingtosmoke！\"saidheashegazedattheremnantsofmydebauch。\"Itisasillythingtodo，andwasteofmoneyaswell。Ilongagopromisedmyselfnevertosmoke。Butcomealong；wehavetocallforDubkoff。\"
XIV
HOWWOLODAANDDUBKOFFAMUSEDTHEMSELVES
THEmomentthatDimitrienteredmyroomIperceivedfromhisface，mannerofwalking，andthesignswhich，inhim，denotedill-humour——ablinkingoftheeyesandagrimholdingofhisheadtooneside，asthoughtostraightenhiscollar——thathewasinthecoldly-correctframeofmindwhichwashiswhenhefeltdissatisfiedwithhimself。Itwasaframeofmind，too，whichalwaysproducedachillingeffectuponmyfeelingstowardshim。
OflateIhadbeguntoobserveandappraisemyfriend’scharacteralittlemore，butourfriendshiphadinnowaysufferedfromthat，sinceitwasstilltooyoungandstrongformetobeabletolookuponDimitriasanythingbutperfect，nomatterinwhatlightIregardedhim。Inhimthereweretwopersonalities，bothofwhichIthoughtbeautiful。One，whichIloveddevotedly，waskind，mild，forgiving，gay，andconsciousofbeingthosevariousthings。Whenhewasinthisframeofmindhiswholeexterior，theverytoneofhisvoice，hiseverymovement，appearedtosay：\"I
amkindandgood-natured，andrejoiceinbeingso，andeveryonecanseethatIsorejoice。\"Theotherofhistwopersonalities——
onewhichIhadonlyjustbeguntoapprehend，andbeforethemajestyofwhichIbowedinspirit——wasthatofamanwhowascold，sterntohimselfandtoothers，proud，religioustothepointoffanaticism，andpedanticallymoral。Atthepresentmomenthewas，asIsay，thissecondpersonality。
WiththatfranknesswhichconstitutedanecessaryconditionofourrelationsItoldhim，assoonasweenteredthedrozhki，howmuchitdepressedandhurtmetoseehim，onthismyfete-dayinaframeofmindsoirksomeanddisagreeabletome。
\"Whathasupsetyouso？\"Iaskedhim。\"Willyounottellme？\"
\"MydearNicolas，\"washisslowreplyashegavehisheadanervoustwitchtoonesideandblinkedhiseyes，\"sinceIhavegivenyoumywordnevertoconcealanythingfromyou，youhavenoreasontosuspectmeofsecretiveness。Onecannotalwaysbeinexactlythesamemood，andifIseematallputout，thatisallthereistosayaboutit。\"
\"Whatamarvellouslyopen，honourablecharacterhisis！\"I
thoughttomyself，anddroppedthesubject。
WedrovetherestofthewaytoDubkoff’sinsilence。Dubkoff’sflatwasanunusuallyfineone——or，atallevents，soitseemedtome。Everywherewererugs，pictures，gardenias，stripedhangings，photographs，andcurvedsettees，whileonthewallshungguns，pistols，pouches，andthemountedheadsofwildbeasts。Itwastheappearanceofthisapartmentwhichmademeawarewhom，itwasthatWolodahadimitatedintheschemeofhisownsitting-room。WefoundDubkoffandWolodaengagedincards，whileseatedalsoatthetable，andwatchingthegamewithcloseattention，wasagentlemanwhomIdidnotknow，butwhoappearedtobeofnogreatimportance，judgingbythemodestyofhisattitude。Dubkoffhimselfwasinasilkdressing-gownandsoftslippers，whileWoloda——seatedoppositehimonadivan——wasinhisshirtsleeves，aswellas（tojudgebyhisflushedfaceandtheimpatient，cursoryglancewhichhegaveusforasecondashelookedupfromthecards）muchtakenupwiththegame。Onseeingme，hereddenedstillmore。