ITHELASTOFTHETROUBADOURS
InexorablySamGallowaysaddledhispony。HewasgoingawayfromtheRanchoAltitoattheendofathree-months’visit。Itisnottobeexpectedthataguestshouldputupwithwheatcoffeeandbiscuitsyellow-streakedwithsaleratusforlongerthanthat。NickNapoleon，thebigNegromancook，hadneverbeenabletomakegoodbiscuits：Oncebefore，whenNickwascookingattheWillowRanch，Samhadbeenforcedtoflyfromhis_cuisine_，afteronlyasix-weeks’sojourn。
OnSam’sfacewasanexpressionofsorrow，deepenedwithregretandslightlytemperedbythepatientforgivenessofaconnoisseurwhocannotbeunderstood。Butveryfirmlyandinexorablyhebuckledhissaddle-cinches，loopedhisstake-ropeandhungittohissaddle-horn，tiedhisslickerandcoatonthecantle，andloopedhisquirtonhisrightwrist。TheMerrydews（householdersoftheRanchoAltito），men，women，children，andservants，vassals，visitors，employes，dogs，andcasualcallersweregroupedinthe\"gallery\"oftheranchhouse，allwithfacessettothetuneofmelancholyandgrief。For，asthecomingofSamGallowaytoanyranch，camp，orcabinbetweentheriversFrioorBravodelNortearousedjoy，sohisdeparturecausedmourninganddistress。
Andthen，duringabsolutesilence，exceptforthebumpingofahindelbowofahounddogashepursuedawickedflea，Samtenderlyandcarefullytiedhisguitaracrosshissaddleontopofhisslickerandcoat。Theguitarwasinagreenduckbag；andifyoucatchthesignificanceofit，itexplainsSam。
SamGallowaywastheLastoftheTroubadours。Ofcourseyouknowaboutthetroubadours。Theencyclopaediasaystheyflourishedbetweentheeleventhandthethirteenthcenturies。Whattheyflourisheddoesn’tseemclear-——youmaybeprettysureitwasn’tasword：maybeitwasafiddlebow，oraforkfulofspaghetti，oralady’sscarf。Anyhow，SamGallowaywasoneof’em。
Samputonamartyredexpressionashemountedhispony。Buttheexpressiononhisfacewashilariouscomparedwiththeoneonhispony’s。
Yousee，aponygetstoknowhisridermightywell，anditisnotunlikelythatcowponiesinpasturesandathitchingrackshadoftenguyedSam’sponyforbeingriddenbyaguitarplayerinsteadofbyarollicking，cussing，all-woolcowboy。Nomanisaherotohissaddle-horse。Andevenanescalatorinadepartmentstoremightbeexcusedfortrippingupatroubadour。
Oh，IknowI’mone；andsoareyou。Yourememberthestoriesyoumemorizeandthecardtricksyoustudyandthatlittlepieceonthepiano——howdoesitgo？——ti-tum-te-tum-ti-tum——thoselittleArabianTenMinuteEntertainmentsthatyoufurnishwhenyougouptocallonyourrichAuntJane。Youshouldknowthat_omnaepersonaeintrespartesdivisaesunt_。
Namely：Brons，Troubadours，andWorkers。Baronshavenoinclinationtoreadsuchfolderolasthis；andWorkershavenotime：soIknowyoumustbeaTroubadour，andthatyouwillunderstandSamGalloway。Whetherwesing，act，dance，write，lecture，orpaint，weareonlytroubadours；soletusmaketheworstofit。
TheponywiththeDanteAlighieriface，guidedbythepressureofSam’sknees，borethatwanderingminstrelsixteenmilessoutheastward。Naturewasinhermostbenignantmood。Leagueafterleagueofdelicate，sweetfloweretsmadefragrantthe’gentlyundulatingprairie。Theeastwindtemperedthespringwarmth；wool-whitecloudsflyinginfromtheMexicanGullhinderedthedirectraysoftheAprilsun。Samsangsongsasherode。Underhispony’sbridlehehadtuckedsomesprigsofchaparraltokeepawaythedeerflies。Thuscrowned，thelong-facedquadrupedlookedmoreDantesquethanbefore，and，judgingbyhiscountenance，seemedtothinkofBeatriceStraightastopographypermitted，Samrodeto，thesheepranchofoldmanEllison。Avisittoasheepranchseemedtohimdesirablejustthen。
Therehadbeentoomanypeople，toomuchnoise，argument，competition，confusion，atRanchoAltito。HehadneverconferreduponoldmanEllisonthefavourofsojourningathisranch；butheknewhewouldbewelcome。
Thetroubadourishisownpassporteverywhere。TheWorkersinthecastleletdownthedrawbridgetohim，andtheBaronsetshimathislefthandattableinthebanquethall。Thereladiessmileuponhimandapplaudhissongsandstories，whiletheWorkersbringboars’headsandflagons。IftheBaronnodsonceortwiceinhiscarvedoakenchair，hedoesnotdoitmaliciously。
OldmanEllisonwelcomedthetroubadourflatteringly。HehadoftenheardpraisesofSamGallowayfromotherranchmenwhohadbeencomplimentedbyhisvisits，buthadneveraspiredtosuchanhonourforhisownhumblebarony。IsaybaronybecauseoldmanEllisonwastheLastoftheBarons。
Ofcourse，Mr。Bulwer-Lyttonlivedtooearlytoknowhim，orhewouldn’thaveconferredthatsobriquetuponWarwick。InlifeitisthedutyandthefunctionoftheBarontoprovideworkfortheWorkersandlodgingandshelterfortheTroubadours。
OldmanEllisonwasashrunkenoldman，withashort，yellow-whitebeardandafacelinedandseamedbypast-and-gonesmiles。Hisranchwasalittletwo-roomboxhouseinagroveofhackberrytreesinthelonesomestpartofthesheepcountry。HishouseholdconsistedofaKiowaIndianmancook，fourhounds，apetsheep，andahalf-tamedcoyotechainedtoafence-post。Heowned3，000sheep，whichheranontwosectionsofleasedlandandmanythousandsofacresneitherleasednorowned。Threeorfourtimesayearsomeonewhospokehislanguagewouldrideuptohisgateandexchangeafewbaldideaswithhim。Thosewerered-letterdaystooldmanEllison。Theninwhatilluminated，embossed，andgorgeouslydecoratedcapitalsmusthavebeenwrittenthedayonwhichatroubadour——-atroubadourwho，accordingtotheencyclopaedia，shouldhaveflourishedbetweentheeleventhandthethirteenthcenturies-——drewreinatthegatesofhisbaronialcastle！
OldmanEllison’ssmilescamebackandfilledhiswrinkleswhenhesawSam。Hehurriedoutofthehouseinhisshuffling，limpingwaytogreethim。
\"Hello，Mr。Ellison，\"calledSamcheerfully。\"ThoughtI’ddropoverandseeyouawhile。Noticeyou’vehadfinerainsonyourrange。Theyoughttomakegoodgrazingforyourspringlambs。\"
\"Well，well，well，\"saidoldmanEllison。\"I’mmightygladtoseeyou，Sam。Ineverthoughtyou’dtakethetroubletorideovertoasout-of-the-wayanoldranchasthis。Butyou’remightywelcome。’Light。
I’vegotasackofnewoatsinthekitchen——-shallIbringoutafeedforyourhoss？\"
\"Oatsforhim？\"saidSam，derisively。\"No，sir-ee。He’sasfatasapignowongrass。Hedon’tgetrodeenoughtokeephimincondition。I’lljustturnhiminthehorsepasturewithadragropeonifyoudon’tmind。\"
IampositivethatneverduringtheeleventhandthirteenthcenturiesdidBaron，Troubadour，andWorkeramalgamateasharmoniouslyastheirparallelsdidthateveningatoldmanEllison’ssheepranch。TheKiowa’sbiscuitswerelightandtastyandhiscoffeestrong。IneradicablehospitalityandappreciationglowedonoldmanEllison’sweather-tannedface。Asforthetroubadour，hesaidtohimselfthathehadstumbleduponpleasantplacesindeed。Awell-cooked，abundantmeal，ahostwhomhislightestattempttoentertainseemedtodelightfarbeyondthemeritsoftheexertion，andthereposefulatmospherethathissensitivesoulatthattimecravedunitedtoconferuponhimasatisfactionandluxuriouseasethathehadseldomfoundonhistoursoftheranches。
Afterthedelectablesupper，Samuntiedthegreenduckbagandtookouthisguitar。Notbywayofpayment，mindyou——neitherSamGallowaynoranyotherofthetruetroubadoursarelinealdescendantsofthelateTommyTucker。YouhavereadofTommyTuckerintheworksoftheesteemedbutoftenobscureMotherGoose。TommyTuckersangforhissupper。Notruetroubadourwoulddothat。Hewouldhavehissupper，andthensingforArt’ssake。
SamGalloway’srepertoirecomprisedaboutfiftyfunnystoriesandbetweenthirtyandfortysongs。Hebynomeansstoppedthere。Hecouldtalkthroughtwentycigarettesonanytopicthatyoubroughtup。Andheneversatupwhenhecouldliedown；andneverstoodwhenhecouldsit。Iamstronglydisposedtolingerwithhim，forIamdrawingaportraitaswellasabluntpencilandatatteredthesauruswillallow。
Iwishyoucouldhaveseenhim：hewassmallandtoughandinactivebeyondthepowerofimaginationtoconceive。Heworeanultramarine-bluewoollenshirtlaceddownthefrontwithapearl-gray，exaggeratedsortofshoestring，indestructiblebrownduckclothes，inevitablehigh-heeledbootswithMexicanspurs，andaMexicanstrawsombrero。
ThateveningSamandoldmanEllisondraggedtheirchairsoutunderthehackberrytrees。Theylightedcigarettes；andthetroubadourgailytouchedhisguitar。Manyofthesongshesangweretheweird，melancholy，minor-keyed_canciones_thathehadlearnedfromtheMexicansheepherdersand_vaqueros_。One，inparticular，charmedandsoothedthesoulofthelonelybaron。Itwasafavouritesongofthesheepherders，beginning：
\"_Huile，huile，palomita_，\"whichbeingtranslatedmeans，\"Fly，fly，littledove。\"SamsangitforoldmanEllisonmanytimesthatevening。
Thetroubadourstayedonattheoldman’sranch。Therewaspeaceandquietandappreciationthere，suchashehadnotfoundinthenoisycampsofthecattlekings。Noaudienceintheworldcouldhavecrownedtheworkofpoet，musician，orartistwithmoreworshipfulandunflaggingapprovalthanthatbestoweduponhiseffortsbyoldmanEllison。Novisitbyaroyalpersonagetoahumblewoodchopperorpeasantcouldhavebeenreceivedwithmoreflatteringthankfulnessandjoy。
Onacool，canvas-coveredcotintheshadeofthehackberrytreesSamGallowaypassedthegreaterpartofhistime。Thereherolledhisbrownpapercigarettes，readsuchtediousliteratureastheranchafforded，andaddedtohisrepertoireofimprovisationsthatheplayedsoexpertlyonhisguitar。Tohim，asaslaveministeringtoagreatlord，theKiowabroughtcoolwaterfromtheredjarhangingunderthebrushshelter，andfoodwhenhecalledforit。Theprairiezephyrsfannedhimmildly；
mocking-birdsatmornandevecompetedwithbutscarceequalledthesweetmelodiesofhislyre；aperfumedstillnessseemedtofillallhisworld。
WhileoldmanEllisonwaspotteringamonghisflocksofsheeponhismile-an-hourpony，andwhiletheKiowatookhissiestaintheburningsunshineattheendofthekitchen，Samwouldlieonhiscotthinkingwhatahappyworldhelivedin，andhowkinditistotheoneswhosemissioninlifeitistogiveentertainmentandpleasure。Herehehadfoodandlodgingasgoodashehadeverlongedfor；absoluteimmunityfromcareorexertionorstrife；anendlesswelcome，andahostwhosedelightatthesixteenthrepetitionofasongorastorywasaskeenasatitsinitialgiving。Wasthereeveratroubadourofoldwhostruckuponasroyalacastleinhiswanderings？Whilehelaythus，meditatinguponhisblessings，littlebrowncottontailswouldshyly’frolicthroughtheyard；
acoveyofwhite-topknottedbluequailwouldrunpast，insinglefile，twentyyardsaway；a_paisano_bird，outhuntingfortarantulas，wouldhopuponthefenceandsalutehimwithsweepingflourishesofits’longtail。
Intheeighty-acrehorsepasturetheponywiththeDantesquefacegrewfatandalmostsmiling。Thetroubadourwasattheendofhiswanderings。
OldmanEllisonwashisown_vaciero_。Thatmeansthathesuppliedhissheepcampswithwood，water，andrationsbyhisownlaboursinsteadofhiringa_vaciero_。Onsmallranchesitisoftendone。
OnemorninghestartedforthecampofIncarnacionFelipedelaCruzyMontePiedras（oneofhissheepherders）withtheweek’susualrationsofbrownbeans，coffee，meal，andsugar。TwomilesawayonthetrailfromoldFortEwinghemet，facetoface，aterriblebeingcalledKingJames，mountedonafiery，prancing，Kentucky-bredhorse。
KingJames’srealnamewasJamesKing；butpeoplereverseditbecauseitseemedtofithimbetter，andalsobecauseitseemedtopleasehismajesty。KingJameswasthebiggestcattlemanbetweentheAlamoplazainSanAntoneandBillHopper’ssalooninBrownsville。AlsohewastheloudestandmostoffensivebullyandbraggartandbadmaninsouthwestTexas。Andhealwaysmadegoodwheneverhebragged；andthemorenoisehemadethemoredangeroushewas。Inthestorypapersitisalwaysthequiet，mild-manneredmanwithlightblueeyesandalowvoicewhoturnsouttobereallydangerous；butinreallifeandinthisstorysuchisnotthecase。Givememychoicebetweenassaultingalarge，loudmouthedrough-houserandaninoffensivestrangerwithblueeyessittingquietlyinacorner，andyouwillseesomethingdoinginthecornereverytime。
KingJames，asIintendedtosayearlier，wasafierce，two-hundred-poundsunburned，blondman，aspinkasanOctoberstrawberry，andwithtwohorizontalslitsundershaggyredeyebrowsforeyes。Onthatdayheworeaflannelshirtthatwastan-coloured，withtheexceptionofcertainlargeareaswhichweredarkenedbytransudationsduetothesummersun。Thereseemedtobeotherclothingandgarnishingsabouthim，suchasbrownducktrousersstuffedintoimmenseboots，andredhandkerchiefsandrevolvers；
andashotgunlaidacrosshissaddleandaleatherbeltwithmillionsofcartridgesshininginit——butyourmindskiddedoffsuchaccessories；
whatheldyourgazewasjustthetwolittlehorizontalslitsthatheusedforeyes。
ThiswasthemanthatoldmanEllisonmetonthetrail；andwhenyoucountupinthebaron’sfavourthathewassixty-fiveandweighedninety-eightpoundsandhadheardofKingJames’srecordandthathe（thebaron）hadahankeringforthe_vitasimplex_andhadnogunwithhimandwouldn’thave’useditifhehad，youcan’tcensurehimifItellyouthatthesmileswithwhichthetroubadourhadfilledhiswrinkleswentoutofthemandleftthemplainwrinklesagain。Buthewasnotthekindofbaronthatfliesfromdanger。Hereinedinthemile-an-hourpony（nodifficultfeat），andsalutedtheformidablemonarch。
KingJamesexpressedhimselfwithroyaldirectness。\"You’rethatoldsnoozerthat’srunningsheeponthisrange，ain’tyou？\"saidhe。\"Whatrighthaveyougottodoit？Doyouownanyland，orleaseany？\"
\"Ihavetwosectionsleasedfromthestate，\"saidoldmanEllison，mildly。
\"Notbynomeansyouhaven’t，\"saidKingJames。\"Yourleaseexpiredyesterday；andIhadamanatthelandofficeontheminutetotakeitup。Youdon’tcontrolafootofgrassinTexas。Yousheepmenhavegottogit。Yourtime’sup。It’sacattlecountry，andthereain’tanyroominitforsnoozers。Thisrangeyou’vegotyoursheeponismine。I’mputtingupawirefence，fortybysixtymiles；andifthere’sasheepinsideofitwhenit’sdoneit’llbeadeadone。I’llgiveyouaweektomoveyoursaway。Iftheyain’tgonebythen，I’llsendsixmenoverherewithWinchesterstomakemuttonoutofthewholelot。AndifIfindyouhereatthesametimethisiswhatyou’llget。\"
KingJamespattedthebreechofhisshot-gunwarningly。
OldmanEllisonrodeontothecampofIncarnacion。Hesighedmanytimes，andthewrinklesinhisfacegrewdeeper。Rumoursthattheoldorderwasabouttochangehadreachedhimbefore。TheendofFreeGrasswasinsight。Othertroubles，too，hadbeenaccumulatinguponhisshoulders。
Hisflocksweredecreasinginsteadofgrowing；thepriceofwoolwasdecliningateveryclip；evenBradshaw，thestorekeeperatFrioCity，atwhosestoreheboughthisranchsupplies，wasdunninghimforhislastsixmonths’billandthreateningtocuthimoff。AndsothislastgreatestcalamitysuddenlydealtouttohimbytheterribleKingJameswasacrusher。
WhentheoldmangotbacktotheranchatsunsethefoundSamGallowaylyingonhiscot，proppedagainstarollofblanketsandwoolsacks，fingeringhisguitar。
\"Hello，UncleBen，\"thetroubadourcalled，cheerfully。\"Yourolledinearlythisevening。IbeentryinganewtwistontheSpanishFandangoto-day。Ijustaboutgotit。Here’showshegoes——listen。\"
\"That’sfine，that’smightyfine，\"saidoldmanEllison，sittingonthekitchenstepandrubbinghiswhite，Scotch-terrierwhiskers。\"Ireckonyou’vegotallthemusiciansbeateastandwest，Sam，asfarastheroadsarecutout。\"
\"Oh，Idon’tknow，\"saidSam，reflectively。\"ButIcertainlydogetthereonvariations。IguessIcanhandleanythinginfiveflatsaboutaswellasanyof’em。Butyoulookkindoffaggedout，UncleBen——ain’tyoufeelingrightwellthisevening？\"
\"Littletired；that’sall，Sam。Ifyouain’tplayedyourselfout，let’shavethatMexicanpiecethatstartsoffwith：’_Huile，huile，palomita_。’
ItseemsthatthatsongalwayskindofsoothesandcomfortsmeafterI’vebeenridingfaroranythingbothersme。\"
\"Why，_seguramente_，_senor_，\"saidSam。\"I’llhitherupforyouasoftenasyoulike。AndbeforeIforgetaboutit，UncleBen，youwanttojerkBradshawupaboutthemlasthamshesentus。They’rejustalittlebitstrong。\"
Amansixty-fiveyearsold，livingonasheepranchandbesetbyacomplicationofdisasters，cannotsuccessfullyandcontinuouslydissemble。Moreover，atroubadourhaseyesquicktoseeunhappinessinothersaroundhim——becauseitdisturbshisownease。So，onthenextday，Samagainquestionedtheoldmanabouthisairofsadnessandabstraction。ThenoldmanEllisontoldhimthestoryofKingJames’sthreatsandordersandthatpalemelancholyandredruinappearedtohavemarkedhimfortheirown。Thetroubadourtookthenewsthoughtfully。HehadheardmuchaboutKingJames。
Onthethirddayofthesevendaysofgraceallowedhimbytheautocratoftherange，oldmanEllisondrovehisbuckboardtoFrioCitytofetchsomenecessarysuppliesfortheranch。Bradshawwashardbutnotimplacable。
Hedividedtheoldman’sorderbytwo，andlethimhavealittlemoretime。Onearticlesecuredwasanew，finehamforthepleasureofthetroubadour。
FivemilesoutofFrioCityonhiswayhometheoldmanmetKingJamesridingintotown。Hismajestycouldneverlookanythingbutfierceandmenacing，butto-dayhisslitsofeyesappearedtobealittlewiderthantheyusuallywere。
\"Goodday，\"saidtheking，gruffly。\"I’vebeenwantingtoseeyou。I
hearitsaidbyacowmanfromSandyyesterdaythatyouwasfromJacksonCounty，Mississippi，originally。Iwanttoknowifthat’safact。\"
\"Bornthere，\"saidoldmanEllison，\"andraisedtheretillIwastwenty-one。\"
\"Thismansays，\"wentonKingJames，\"thathethinksyouwasrelatedtotheJacksonCountyReeveses。Washeright？\"
\"AuntCarolineReeves，\"saidtheoldman，\"wasmyhalf-sister。\"
\"Shewasmyaunt，\"saidKingJames。\"IrunawayfromhomewhenIwassixteen。Now，let’sre-talkoversomethingsthatwediscussedafewdaysago。Theycallmeabadman；andthey’reonlyhalfright。There’splentyofroominmypastureforyourbunchofsheepandtheirincreaseforalongtimetocome。AuntCarolineusedtocutoutsheepincakedoughandbake’emforme。Youkeepyoursheepwheretheyare，andusealltherangeyouwant。How’syourfinances？\"
Theoldmanrelatedhiswoesindetail，dignifiedly，withrestraintandcandour。
\"Sheusedtosmuggleextragrubintomyschoolbasket——I’mspeakingofAuntCaroline，\"saidKingJames。\"I’mgoingovertoFrioCityto-day，andI’llridebackbyyourranchto-morrow。I’lldraw$2，000outofthebankthereandbringitovertoyou；andI’lltellBradshawtoletyouhaveeverythingyouwantoncredit。Youareboundtohaveheardtheoldsayingathome，thattheJacksonCountyReevesesandKingswouldstickcloserbyeachotherthanchestnutburrs。Well，I’maKingyetwheneverIrunacrossaReeves。Soyoulookoutformealongaboutsundownto-morrow，anddon’tworryaboutnothing。Shouldn’twonderifthedryspelldon’tkillouttheyounggrass。\"
OldmanEllisondrovehappilyranchward。Oncemorethesmilesfilledouthiswrinkles。Verysuddenly，bythemagicofkinshipandthegoodthatliessomewhereinallhearts，histroubleshadbeenremoved。
OnreachingtheranchhefoundthatSamGallowaywasnotthere。Hisguitarhungbyitsbuckskinstringtoahackberrylimb，moaningasthegulfbreezeblewacrossitsmasterlessstrings。
TheKiowaendeavouredtoexplain。
\"Sam，hecatchpony，\"saidhe，\"andsayheridetoFrioCity。Whatfornocandamnsabe。Sayhecomebackto-night。Maybeso。Thatall。\"
Asthefirststarscameoutthetroubadourrodebacktohishaven。Hepasturedhisponyandwentintothehouse，hisspursjinglingmartially。
OldmanEllisonsatatthekitchentable，havingatincupofbefore-suppercoffee。Helookedcontentedandpleased。
\"Hello，Sam，\"saidhe。\"I’mdarnedgladtoseeyeback。Idon’tknowhowImanagedtogetalongonthisranch，anyhow，beforeyedroppedintocheerthingsup。I’llbetye’vebeenskylarkingaroundwithsomeofthemFrioCitygals，now，that’skeptyesolate。\"
AndthenoldmanEllisontookanotherlookatSam’sfaceandsawthattheminstrelhadchangedthemanofaction。
AndwhileSamisunbucklingfromhiswaistoldmanEllison’ssix-shooter，thatthelatterhadleftbehindwhenhedrovetotown，wemaywellpausetoremarkthatanywhereandwheneveratroubadourlaysdowntheguitarandtakesuptheswordtroubleissuretofollow。ItisnottheexpertthrustofAthosnorthecoldskillofAramisnortheironwristofPorthosthatwehavetofear——itistheGascon’sfury——thewildandunacademicattackofthetroubadour——theswordofD’Artagnan。
\"Idoneit，\"saidSam。\"IwentovertoFrioCitytodoit。Icouldn’tlethimputtheskibunkonyou，UncleBen。ImethiminSummers’ssaloon。Iknowedwhattodo。Isaidafewthingstohimthatnobodyelseheard。Hereachedforhisgunfirst——halfadozenfellowssawhimdoit——butIgotmineunlimberedfirst。ThreedosesIgavehim——rightaroundthelungs，andasaucercouldhavecoveredupallof’em。Hewon’tbotheryounomore。\"
\"This——is——King——James——youspeak——of？\"askedoldmanEllison，whilehesippedhiscoffee。
\"Youbetitwas。Andtheytookmebeforethecountyjudge；andthewitnesseswhatsawhimdrawhisgunfirstwasallthere。Well，ofcourse，theyputmeunder$300bondtoappearbeforethecourt，buttherewasfourorfiveboysonthespotreadytosignthebail。Hewon’tbotheryounomore，UncleBen。Yououghttohaveseenhowclosethembulletholeswastogether。IreckonplayingaguitarasmuchasIdomustkindoflimberafellow’striggerfingerupalittle，don’tyouthink，UncleBen？\"
ThentherewasalittlesilenceinthecastleexceptforthesplutteringofavenisonsteakthattheKiowawascooking。
\"Sam，\"saidoldmanEllison，strokinghiswhitewhiskerswithatremuloushand，\"wouldyoumindgettingtheguitarandplayingthat’_Huile，huile，palomita_’pieceonceortwice？Italwaysseemstobekindofsoothingandcomfortingwhenaman’stiredandfaggedout。\"
Thereisnomoretobesaid，exceptthatthetitleofthestoryiswrong。
Itshouldhavebeencalled\"TheLastoftheBarons。\"Thereneverwillbeanendtothetroubadours；andnowandthenitdoesseemthatthejingleoftheirguitarswilldrownthesoundofthemuffledblowsofthepickaxesandtriphammersofalltheWorkersintheworld。
IITHESLEUTHS
InTheBigCityamanwilldisappearwiththesuddennessandcompletenessoftheflameofacandlethatisblownout。Alltheagenciesofinquisition——thehoundsofthetrail，thesleuthsofthecity’slabyrinths，theclosetdetectivesoftheoryandinduction——willbeinvokedtothesearch。Mostoftentheman’sfacewillbeseennomore。
SometimeshewillreappearinSheboyganorinthewildsofTerreHaute，callinghimselfoneofthesynonymsof\"Smith，\"andwithoutmemoryofeventsuptoacertaintime，includinghisgrocer’sbill。Sometimesitwillbefound，afterdraggingtherivers，andpollingtherestaurantstoseeifhemaybewaitingforawell-donesirloin，thathehasmovednextdoor。
Thissnuffingoutofahumanbeingliketheerasureofachalkmanfromablackboardisoneofthemostimpressivethemesindramaturgy。
ThecaseofMarySnyder，inpoint，shouldnotbewithoutinterest。
Amanofmiddleage，ofthenameofMeeks，camefromtheWesttoNewYorktofindhissister，Mrs。MarySnyder，awidow，agedfifty-two，whohadbeenlivingforayearinatenementhouseinacrowdedneighbourhood。
AtheraddresshewastoldthatMarySnyderhadmovedawaylongerthanamonthbefore。Noonecouldtellhimhernewaddress。
OncomingoutMr。Meeksaddressedapolicemanwhowasstandingonthecorner，andexplainedhisdilemma。
\"Mysisterisverypoor，\"hesaid，\"andIamanxioustofindher。Ihaverecentlymadequitealotofmoneyinaleadmine，andIwanthertosharemyprosperity。Thereisnouseinadvertisingher，becauseshecannotread。\"
ThepolicemanpulledhismoustacheandlookedsothoughtfulandmightythatMeekscouldalmostfeelthejoyfultearsofhissisterMarydroppinguponhisbrightbluetie。
\"YougodownintheCanalStreetneighbourhood，\"saidthepoliceman，\"andgetajobdrivin’thebiggestdrayyoucanfind。There’soldwomenalwaysgettin’knockedoverbydraysdownthere。Youmightsee’eramong’em。
Ifyoudon’twanttodothatyoubettergo’roundtoheadquartersandget’emtoputaflycopontothedame。\"
Atpoliceheadquarters，Meeksreceivedreadyassistance。Ageneralalarmwassentout，andcopiesofaphotographofMarySnyderthatherbrotherhadweredistributedamongthestations。InMulberryStreetthechiefassignedDetectiveMullinstothecase。
ThedetectivetookMeeksasideandsaid：
\"Thisisnotaverydifficultcasetounravel。Shaveoffyourwhiskers，fillyourpocketswithgoodcigars，andmeetmeinthecafeoftheWaldorfatthreeo’clockthisafternoon。\"
Meeksobeyed。HefoundMullinsthere。Theyhadabottleofwine，whilethedetectiveaskedquestionsconcerningthemissingwoman。
\"Now，\"saidMullins，\"NewYorkisabigcity，butwe’vegotthedetectivebusinesssystematized。Therearetwowayswecangoaboutfindingyoursister。Wewilltryoneof’emfirst。Yousayshe’sfifty-two？\"
\"Alittlepast，\"saidMeeks。
ThedetectiveconductedtheWesternertoabranchadvertisingofficeofoneofthelargestdailies。Therehewrotethefollowing\"ad\"andsubmittedittoMeeks：
\"Wanted，atonce——onehundredattractivechorusgirlsforanewmusicalcomedy。ApplyalldayatNo-Broadway。\"
Meekswasindignant。
\"Mysister，\"saidhe，\"isapoor，hard-working，elderlywoman。Idonotseewhataidanadvertisementofthiskindwouldbetowardfindingher。\"
\"Allright，\"saidthedetective。\"Iguessyoudon’tknowNewYork。Butifyou’vegotagrouchagainstthisschemewe’lltrytheotherone。It’sasurething。Butit’llcostyoumore。\"
\"Nevermindtheexpense，\"saidMeeks；\"we’lltryit。\"
ThesleuthledhimbacktotheWaldorf。\"Engageacoupleofbedroomsandaparlour，\"headvised，\"andlet’sgoup。\"
Thiswasdone，andthetwowereshowntoasuperbsuiteonthefourthfloor。Meekslookedpuzzled。Thedetectivesankintoavelvetarmchair，andpulledouthiscigarcase。
\"Iforgottosuggest，oldman，\"hesaid，\"thatyoushouldhavetakentheroomsbythemonth。Theywouldn’thavestuckyousomuchforem。
\"Bythemonth！\"exclaimedMeeks。\"Whatdoyoumean？\"
\"Oh，it’lltaketimetoworkthegamethisway。Itoldyouitwouldcostyoumore。We’llhavetowaittillspring。There’llbeanewcitydirectoryoutthen。Verylikelyyoursister’snameandaddresswillbeinit。\"
Meeksridhimselfofthecitydetectiveatonce。OnthenextdaysomeoneadvisedhimtoconsultShamrockJolnes，NewYork’sfamousprivatedetective，whodemandedfabulousfees，butperformedmiraclesinthewayofsolvingmysteriesandcrimes。
Afterwaitingfortwohoursintheanteroomofthegreatdetective’sapartment，Meekswasshownintohispresence。Jolnessatinapurpledressing-gownataninlaidivorychesstable，withamagazinebeforehim，tryingtosolvethemysteryof\"They。\"Thefamoussleuth’sthin，intellectualface，piercingeyes，andrateperwordaretoowellknowntoneeddescription。
Meekssetforthhiserrand。\"Myfee，ifsuccessful，willbe$500，\"saidShamrockJolnes。
Meeksbowedhisagreementtotheprice。
\"Iwillundertakeyourcase，Mr。Meeks，\"saidJolnes，finally。\"Thedisappearanceofpeopleinthiscityhasalwaysbeenaninterestingproblemtome。IrememberacasethatIbroughttoasuccessfuloutcomeayearago。AfamilybearingthenameofClarkdisappearedsuddenlyfromasmallflatinwhichtheywereliving。Iwatchedtheflatbuildingfortwomonthsforaclue。Onedayitstruckmethatacertainmilkmanandagrocer’sboyalwayswalkedbackwardwhentheycarriedtheirwaresupstairs。Followingoutbyinductiontheideathatthisobservationgaveme，Iatoncelocatedthemissingfamily。TheyhadmovedintotheflatacrossthehallandchangedtheirnametoKralc。\"
ShamrockJolnesandhisclientwenttothetenementhousewhereMarySnyderhadlived，andthedetectivedemandedtobeshowntheroominwhichshehadlived。Ithadbeenoccupiedbynotenantsinceherdisappearance。
Theroomwassmall，dingy，andpoorlyfurnished。Meeksseatedhimselfdejectedlyonabrokenchair，whilethegreatdetectivesearchedthewallsandfloorandthefewsticksofold，ricketyfurnitureforaclue。
AttheendofhalfanhourJolneshadcollectedafewseeminglyunintelligiblearticles——acheapblackhatpin，apiecetornoffatheatreprogramme，andtheendofasmalltorncardonwhichwastheword\"left\"andthecharacters\"C12。\"
ShamrockJolnesleanedagainstthemantelfortenminutes，withhisheadrestinguponhishand，andanabsorbedlookuponhisintellectualface。
Attheendofthattimeheexclaimed，withanimation：
\"Come，Mr。Meeks；theproblemissolved。Icantakeyoudirectlytothehousewhereyoursisterisliving。Andyoumayhavenofearsconcerningherwelfare，forsheisamplyprovidedwithfunds——forthepresentatleast。\"
Meeksfeltjoyandwonderinequalproportions。
\"Howdidyoumanageit？\"heasked，withadmirationinhistones。
PerhapsJolnes’sonlyweaknesswasaprofessionalprideinhiswonderfulachievementsininduction。Hewaseverreadytoastoundandcharmhislistenersbydescribinghismethods。
\"Byelimination，\"saidJolnes，spreadinghiscluesuponalittletable，\"I
gotridofcertainpartsofthecitytowhichMrs。Snydermighthaveremoved。Youseethishatpin？ThateliminatesBrooklyn。NowomanattemptstoboardacarattheBrooklynBridgewithoutbeingsurethatshecarriesahatpinwithwhichtofightherwayintoaseat。AndnowIwilldemonstratetoyouthatshecouldnothavegonetoHarlem。Behindthisdooraretwohooksinthewall。UpononeoftheseMrs。Snyderhashungherbonnet，andupontheotherhershawl。Youwillobservethatthebottomofthehangingshawlhasgraduallymadeasoiledstreakagainsttheplasteredwall。Themarkisclean-cut，provingthatthereisnofringeontheshawl。Now，wasthereeveracasewhereamiddle-agedwoman，wearingashawl，boardedaHarlemtrainwithouttherebeingafringeontheshawltocatchinthegateanddelaythepassengersbehindher？SoweeliminateHarlem。
\"ThereforeIconcludethatMrs。Snyderhasnotmovedveryfaraway。Onthistornpieceofcardyouseetheword\"Left，\"theletter\"C，\"andthenumber\"12。\"Now，IhappentoknowthatNo。12AvenueCisafirst-classboardinghouse，farbeyondyoursister’smeans——aswesuppose。ButthenIfindthispieceofatheatreprogramme，crumpledintoanoddshape。
Whatmeaningdoesitconvey。Nonetoyou，verylikely，Mr。Meeks；butitiseloquenttoonewhosehabitsandtrainingtakecognizanceofthesmallestthings。
\"Youhavetoldmethatyoursisterwasascrubwoman。Shescrubbedthefloorsofofficesandhallways。Letusassumethatsheprocuredsuchworktoperforminatheatre。Whereisvaluablejewellerylosttheoftenest，Mr。Meeks？Inthetheatres，ofcourse。Lookatthatpieceofprogramme，Mr。Meeks。Observetheroundimpressioninit。Ithasbeenwrappedaroundaring——perhapsaringofgreatvalue。Mrs。Snyderfoundtheringwhileatworkinthetheatre。Shehastilytoreoffapieceofaprogramme，wrappedtheringcarefully，andthrustitintoherbosom。Thenextdayshedisposedofit，and，withherincreasedmeans，lookedaboutherforamorecomfortableplaceinwhichtolive。WhenIreachthusfarinthechainIseenothingimpossibleaboutNo。12AvenueC。Itistherewewillfindyoursister，Mr。Meeks。\"
ShamrockJolnesconcludedhisconvincingspeechwiththesmileofasuccessfulartist。Meeks’sadmirationwastoogreatforwords。TogethertheywenttoNo。12AvenueC。Itwasanold-fashionedbrownstonehouseinaprosperousandrespectableneighbourhood。
Theyrangthebell，andoninquiringweretoldthatnoMrs。Snyderwasknownthere，andthatnotwithinsixmonthshadanewoccupantcometothehouse。
Whentheyreachedthesidewalkagain，Meeksexaminedtheclueswhichhehadbroughtawayfromhissister’soldroom。
\"Iamnodetective，\"heremarkedtoJolnesasheraisedthepieceoftheatreprogrammetohisnose，\"butitseemstomethatinsteadofaringhavingbeenwrappedinthispaperitwasoneofthoseroundpeppermintdrops。Andthispiecewiththeaddressonitlookstomeliketheendofaseatcoupon——No。12，rowC，leftaisle。\"
ShamrockJolneshadafar-awaylookinhiseyes。
\"IthinkyouwoulddowelltoconsultJuggins，\"saidhe。
\"WhoisJuggins？\"askedMeeks。
\"Heistheleader，\"saidJolnes，\"ofanewmodernschoolofdetectives。
Theirmethodsaredifferentfromours，butitissaidthatJugginshassolvedsomeextremelypuzzlingcases。Iwilltakeyoutohim。\"
TheyfoundthegreaterJugginsinhisoffice。Hewasasmallmanwithlighthair，deeplyabsorbedinreadingoneofthebourgeoisworksofNathanielHawthorne。
Thetwogreatdetectivesofdifferentschoolsshookhandswithceremony，andMeekswasintroduced。
\"Statethefacts，\"saidJuggins，goingonwithhisreading。
WhenMeeksceased，thegreateroneclosedhisbookandsaid：
\"DoIunderstandthatyoursisterisfifty-twoyearsofage，withalargemoleonthesideofhernose，andthatsheisaverypoorwidow，makingascantylivingbyscrubbing，andwithaveryhomelyfaceandfigure？\"
\"Thatdescribesherexactly，\"admittedMeeks。Jugginsroseandputonhishat。
\"Infifteenminutes，\"hesaid，\"Iwillreturn，bringingyouherpresentaddress。\"
ShamrockJolnesturnedpale，butforcedasmile。
WithinthespecifiedtimeJugginsreturnedandconsultedalittleslipofpaperheldinhishand。
\"Yoursister，MarySnyder，\"heannouncedcalmly，\"willbefoundatNo。
162Chiltonstreet。Sheislivinginthebackhallbedroom，fiveflightsup。Thehouseisonlyfourblocksfromhere，\"hecontinued，addressingMeeks。\"Supposeyougoandverifythestatementandthenreturnhere。
Mr。Jolneswillawaityou，Idaresay。\"
Meekshurriedaway。Intwentyminuteshewasbackagain，withabeamingface。
\"Sheisthereandwell！\"hecried。\"Nameyourfee！\"
\"Twodollars，\"saidJuggins。
WhenMeekshadsettledhisbillanddeparted，ShamrockJolnesstoodwithhishatinhishandbeforeJuggins。
\"Ifitwouldnotbeaskingtoomuch，\"hestammered——\"ifyouwouldfavourmesofar——wouldyouobjectto——\"
\"Certainlynot，\"saidJugginspleasantly。\"IwilltellyouhowIdidit。
YourememberthedescriptionofMrs。Snyder？Didyoueverknowawomanlikethatwhowasn’tpayingweeklyinstalmentsonanenlargedcrayonportraitofherself？Thebiggestfactoryofthatkindinthecountryisjustaroundthecorner。Iwentthereandgotheraddressoffthebooks。
That’sall。\"
IIIWITCHES’LOAVES
MissMarthaMeachamkeptthelittlebakeryonthecorner（theonewhereyougoupthreesteps，andthebelltinkleswhenyouopenthedoor）。
MissMarthawasforty，herbank-bookshowedacreditoftwothousanddollars，andshepossessedtwofalseteethandasympatheticheart。ManypeoplehavemarriedwhosechancestodosoweremuchinferiortoMissMartha’s。
Twoorthreetimesaweekacustomercameininwhomshebegantotakeaninterest。Hewasamiddle-agedman，wearingspectaclesandabrownbeardtrimmedtoacarefulpoint。
HespokeEnglishwithastrongGermanaccent。Hisclotheswerewornanddarnedinplaces，andwrinkledandbaggyinothers。Buthelookedneat，andhadverygoodmanners。
Healwaysboughttwoloavesofstalebread。Freshbreadwasfivecentsaloaf。Staleonesweretwoforfive。Neverdidhecallforanythingbutstalebread。
OnceMissMarthasawaredandbrownstainonhisfingers。Shewassurethenthathewasanartistandverypoor。Nodoubthelivedinagarret，wherehepaintedpicturesandatestalebreadandthoughtofthegoodthingstoeatinMissMartha’sbakery。
OftenwhenMissMarthasatdowntoherchopsandlightrollsandjamandteashewouldsigh，andwishthatthegentle-manneredartistmightsharehertastymealinsteadofeatinghisdrycrustinthatdraughtyattic。
MissMartha’sheart，asyouhavebeentold，wasasympatheticone。
Inordertotesthertheoryastohisoccupation，shebroughtfromherroomonedayapaintingthatshehadboughtatasale，andsetitagainsttheshelvesbehindthebreadcounter。
ItwasaVenetianscene。Asplendidmarblepalazzio（soitsaidonthepicture）stoodintheforeground——orratherforewater。Fortherestthereweregondolas（withtheladytrailingherhandinthewater），clouds，sky，andchiaro-oscuroinplenty。Noartistcouldfailtonoticeit。
Twodaysafterwardthecustomercamein。
\"Twoloafsofstalebread，ifyoublease。
\"Youhafhereafinebicture，madame，\"hesaidwhileshewaswrappingupthebread。
\"Yes？\"saysMissMartha，revelinginherowncunning。\"Idosoadmireartand\"（no，itwouldnotdotosay\"artists\"thusearly）\"andpaintings，\"
shesubstituted。\"Youthinkitisagoodpicture？\"
\"Derbalance，\"saidthecustomer，isnotingooddrawing。Derbairspectiveofitisnottrue。Gootmorning，madame。\"
Hetookhisbread，bowed，andhurriedout。
Yes，hemustbeanartist。MissMarthatookthepicturebacktoherroom。
Howgentleandkindlyhiseyesshonebehindhisspectacles！Whatabroadbrowhehad！Tobeabletojudgeperspectiveataglance——andtoliveonstalebread！Butgeniusoftenhastostrugglebeforeitisrecognized。
Whatathingitwouldbeforartandperspectiveifgeniuswerebackedbytwothousanddollarsinbank，abakery，andasympatheticheartto——Butthesewereday-dreams，MissMartha。
Oftennowwhenhecamehewouldchatforawhileacrosstheshowcase。HeseemedtocraveMissMartha’scheerfulwords。
Hekeptonbuyingstalebread。Neveracake，neverapie，neveroneofherdeliciousSallyLunns。
Shethoughthebegantolookthinneranddiscouraged。Herheartachedtoaddsomethinggoodtoeattohismeagrepurchase，buthercouragefailedattheact。Shedidnotdareaffronthim。Sheknewtheprideofartists。
MissMarthatooktowearingherblue-dottedsilkwaistbehindthecounter。Inthebackroomshecookedamysteriouscompoundofquinceseedsandborax。Eversomanypeopleuseitforthecomplexion。
Onedaythecustomercameinasusual，laidhisnickelontheshowcase，andcalledforhisstaleloaves。WhileMissMarthawasreachingforthemtherewasagreattootingandclanging，andafire-enginecamelumberingpast。
Thecustomerhurriedtothedoortolook，asanyonewill。Suddenlyinspired，MissMarthaseizedtheopportunity。
Onthebottomshelfbehindthecounterwasapoundoffreshbutterthatthedairymanhadlefttenminutesbefore。WithabreadknifeMissMarthamadeadeepslashineachofthestaleloaves，insertedagenerousquantityofbutter，andpressedtheloavestightagain。
Whenthecustomerturnedoncemoreshewastyingthepaperaroundthem。
Whenhehadgone，afteranunusuallypleasantlittlechat，MissMarthasmiledtoherself，butnotwithoutaslightflutteringoftheheart。
Hadshebeentoobold？Wouldhetakeoffense？Butsurelynot。Therewasnolanguageofedibles。Butterwasnoemblemofunmaidenlyforwardness。
Foralongtimethatdayherminddweltonthesubject。Sheimaginedthescenewhenheshoulddiscoverherlittledeception。
Hewouldlaydownhisbrushesandpalette。Therewouldstandhiseaselwiththepicturehewaspaintinginwhichtheperspectivewasbeyondcriticism。
Hewouldprepareforhisluncheonofdrybreadandwater。Hewouldsliceintoaloaf——ah！
MissMarthablushed。Wouldhethinkofthehandthatplaceditthereasheate？Wouldhe——
Thefrontdoorbelljangledviciously。Somebodywascomingin，makingagreatdealofnoise。
MissMarthahurriedtothefront。Twomenwerethere。Onewasayoungmansmokingapipe——amanshehadneverseenbefore。Theotherwasherartist。
Hisfacewasveryred，hishatwasonthebackofhishead，hishairwaswildlyrumpled。HeclinchedhistwofistsandshookthemferociouslyatMissMartha。_AtMissMartha_。
\"_Dummkopf_！\"heshoutedwithextremeloudness；andthen\"_Tausendonfer_！\"
orsomethinglikeitinGerman。
Theyoungmantriedtodrawhimaway。