TheGreatPublicadmiresGreeceandByron：thepublicknowsbest。
Murray’s\"Guide-book\"callsthelatter\"ournativebard。\"Ournativebard！MonDieu！HEShakspeare’s，Milton’s，Keats’s，Scott’snativebard！Well，woebetothemanwhodeniesthepublicgods！
Thetruthis，then，thatAthensisadisappointment；andIamangrythatitshouldbeso。Toaskilledantiquarian，oranenthusiasticGreekscholar，thefeelingscreatedbyasightoftheplaceofcoursewillbedifferent；butyouwhowouldbeinspiredbyitmustundergoalongpreparationofreading，andpossess，too，aparticularfeeling；bothofwhich，Isuspect，areuncommoninourbusycommercialnewspaper-readingcountry。MenonlysaytheyareenthusiasticabouttheGreekandRomanauthorsandhistory，becauseitisconsideredproperandrespectable。AndweknowhowgentlemeninBakerStreethaveeditionsoftheclassicshandsomelyboundinthelibrary，andhowtheyusethem。Ofcoursetheydon’tretiretoreadthenewspaper；itistolookoverafavouriteodeofPindar，ortodiscussanobscurepassageinAthenaeus！OfcoursecountrymagistratesandMembersofParliamentarealwaysstudyingDemosthenesandCicero；weknowitfromtheircontinualhabitofquotingtheLatingrammarinParliament。Butitisagreedthattheclassicsarerespectable；thereforewearetobeenthusiasticaboutthem。AlsoletusadmitthatByronistobeheldupas\"ournativebard。\"
IamnotsoentireaheathenastobeinsensibletothebeautyofthoserelicsofGreekart，ofwhichmenmuchmorelearnedandenthusiastichavewrittensuchpilesofdescriptions。IthoughtI
couldrecognisethetoweringbeautyoftheprodigiouscolumnsoftheTempleofJupiter；andadmiretheastonishinggrace，severity，elegance，completenessoftheParthenon。ThelittleTempleofVictory，withitsflutedCorinthianshafts，blazedunderthesunalmostasfreshasitmusthaveappearedtotheeyesofitsfounders；Isawnothingmorecharmingandbrilliant，moregraceful，festive，andaristocraticthanthissumptuouslittlebuilding。TheRomanremainswhichlieinthetownbelowlookliketheworksofbarbariansbesidetheseperfectstructures。Theyjarstrangelyontheeye，afterithasbeenaccustomingitselftoperfectharmonyandproportions。If，astheschoolmastertellsus，theGreekwritingisascompleteastheGreekart；ifanodeofPindarisasglitteringandpureastheTempleofVictory；oradiscourseofPlatoaspolishedandcalmasyondermysticalporticooftheErechtheum：whattreasuresofthesensesanddelightsoftheimaginationhavethoselosttowhomtheGreekbooksareasgoodassealed！
Andyetonemeetswithverydullfirst-classmen。Geniuswon’ttransplantfromonebraintoanother，orisruinedinthecarriage，likefineBurgundy。SirRobertPeelandSirJohnHobhousearebothgoodscholars；buttheirpoetryinParliamentdoesnotstrikeoneasfine。Muzzle，theschoolmaster，whoisbullyingpoortremblinglittleboys，wasafinescholarwhenhewasasizar，andaruffianthenandeversince。Whereisthegreatpoet，sincethedaysofMilton，whohasimprovedthenaturaloffshootsofhisbrainbygraftingitfromtheAtheniantree？
IhadavolumeofTennysoninmypocket，whichsomehowsettledthatquestion，andendedthequerulousdisputebetweenmeandConscience，undertheshapeoftheneglectedandirritatedGreekmuse，whichhadbeengoingoneversinceIhadcommencedmywalkaboutAthens。TheoldspinstersawmewinceattheideaoftheauthorofDoraandUlysses，andtriedtofollowupheradvantagebyfartherhintsoftimelost，andpreciousopportunitiesthrownaway。
\"Youmighthavewrittenpoemslikethem，\"saidshe；\"or，no，notlikethemperhaps，butyoumighthavedoneaneatprizepoem，andpleasedyourpapaandmamma。YoumighthavetranslatedJackandJillintoGreekiambics，andbeenacredittoyourcollege。\"I
turnedtestilyawayfromher。\"Madam，\"saysI，\"becauseaneaglehousesonamountain，orsoarstothesun，don’tyoubeangrywithasparrowthatperchesonagarretwindow，ortwittersonatwig。
Leavemetomyself：look，mybeakisnotaquilinebyanymeans。\"
Andso，mydearfriend，youwhohavebeenreadingthislastpageinwonder，andwho，insteadofadescriptionofAthens，havebeenaccommodatedwithalamentonthepartofthewriter，thathewasidleatschool，anddoesnotknowGreek，excusethismomentaryoutbreakofegotisticdespondency。Tosaytruth，dearJones，whenonewalksamongthenestsoftheeagles，andseestheprodigiouseggstheylaid，acertainfeelingofdiscomfituremustcomeoverussmallerbirds。YouandIcouldnotinvent——itevenstretchesourmindspainfullytotryandcomprehendpartofthebeautyoftheParthenon——eversolittleofit，——thebeautyofasinglecolumn，——afragmentofabrokenshaftlyingundertheastonishingblueskythere，inthemidstofthatunrivalledlandscape。Theremaybegranderaspectsofnature，butnonemoredeliciouslybeautiful。
Thehillsriseinperfectharmony，andfallinthemostexquisitecadences——theseaseemsbrighter，theislandsmorepurple，thecloudsmorelightandrosythanelsewhere。Asyoulookupthroughtheopenroof，youarealmostoppressedbytheserenedepthoftheblueoverhead。Lookevenatthefragmentsofthemarble，howsoftandpureitis，glitteringandwhitelikefreshsnow！\"Iwasallbeautiful，\"itseemstosay：\"eventhehiddenpartsofmewerespotless，precious，andfair\"——andso，musingoverthiswonderfulscene，perhapsIgetsomefeebleglimpseorideaofthatancientGreekspiritwhichpeopleditwithsublimeracesofheroesandgods；{1}andwhichInevercouldgetoutofaGreekbook，——no，notthoughMuzzleflungitatmyhead。
CHAPTERVI：SMYRNA——FIRSTGLIMPSESOFTHEEAST
IamgladthattheTurkishpartofAthenswasextinct，sothatI
shouldnotbebaulkedofthepleasureofenteringanEasterntownbyanintroductiontoanygarbledorincompletespecimenofone。
SmyrnaseemstomethemostEasternofallIhaveseen；asCalaiswillprobablyremaintotheEnglishmanthemostFrenchtownintheworld。Thejack-bootsofthepostilionsdon’tseemsohugeelsewhere，orthetightstockingsofthemaid-servantssoGallic。
Thechurchesandtheramparts，andthelittlesoldiersonthem，remainforeverimpresseduponyourmemory；fromwhichlargertemplesandbuildings，andwholearmieshavesubsequentlydisappeared：andthefirstwordsofactualFrenchheardspoken，andthefirstdinnerat\"Quillacq’s，\"remainaftertwentyyearsasclearasonthefirstday。DearJones，can’tyouremembertheexactsmackofthewhitehermitage，andthetoothlessoldfellowsinging\"Largoalfactotum\"？
ThefirstdayintheEastislikethat。Afterthatthereisnothing。Thewonderisgone，andthethrillofthatdelightfulshock，whichsoseldomtouchesthenervesofplainmenoftheworld，thoughtheyseekforiteverywhere。OnesuchlookedoutatSmyrnafromoursteamer，andyawnedwithouttheleastexcitement，anddidnotbetraytheslightestemotion，asboatswithrealTurksonboardcameuptotheship。Therelaythetownwithminaretsandcypresses，domesandcastles；greatgunswerefiringoff，andtheblood-redflagoftheSultanflaringovertheforteversincesunrise；woodsandmountainscamedowntothegulf’sedge，andasyoulookedatthemwiththetelescope，therepeepedoutofthegeneralmassascoreofpleasantepisodesofEasternlife——therewerecottageswithquaintroofs；silentcoolkiosks，wherethechiefoftheeunuchsbringsdowntheladiesoftheharem。IsawHassan，thefisherman，gettinghisnets；andAliBabagoingoffwithhisdonkeytothegreatforestforwood。Smithlookedatthesewondersquiteunmoved；andIwassurprisedathisapathy；buthehadbeenatSmyrnabefore。Amanonlyseesthemiracleonce；
thoughyouyearnoveriteverso，itwon’tcomeagain。IsawnothingofAliBabaandHassanthenexttimewecametoSmyrna，andhadsomedoubts（recollectingthebadnessoftheinn）aboutlandingatall。ApersonwhowishestounderstandFranceortheEastshouldcomeinayachttoCalaisorSmyrna，landfortwohours，andneverafterwardsgobackagain。
Butthosetwohoursarebeyondmeasuredelightful。Someofuswerequerulousuptothattime，anddoubtedofthewisdomofmakingthevoyage。Lisbon，weowned，wasafailure；Athensadeadfailure；
Maltaverywell，butnotworththetroubleandsea-sickness：infact，Baden-BadenorDevonshirewouldbeabettermovethanthis；
whenSmyrnacame，andrebukedallmutinousCockneysintosilence。
Somemenmayreadthiswhoareinwantofasensation。Iftheylovetheoddandpicturesque，iftheylovedthe\"ArabianNights\"intheiryouth，letthembookthemselvesonboardoneofthePeninsularandOrientalvessels，andtryoneDIPintoConstantinopleorSmyrna。Walkintothebazaar，andtheEastisunveiledtoyou：howoftenandoftenhaveyoutriedtofancythis，lyingoutonasummerholidayatschool！Itiswonderful，too，howLIKEitis：youmayimaginethatyouhavebeenintheplacebefore，youseemtoknowitsowell！
Thebeautyofthatpoetryis，tome，thatitwasnevertoohandsome；thereisnofatigueofsublimityaboutit。ShacabacandthelittleBarberplayasgreatapartinitastheheroes；therearenouncomfortablesensationsofterror；youmaybefamiliarwiththegreatAfreet，whowasgoingtoexecutethetravellersforkillinghissonwithadate-stone。Morgiana，whenshekillsthefortyrobberswithboilingoil，doesnotseemtohurtthemintheleast；andthoughKingSchahriarmakesapracticeofcuttingoffhiswives’heads，yetyoufancytheyhavegotthemonagaininsomeofthebackroomsofthepalace，wheretheyaredancingandplayingondulcimers。Howfresh，easy，good-natured，isallthis！HowdelightfulisthatnotionofthepleasantEasternpeopleaboutknowledge，wheretheheightofscienceismadetoconsistintheansweringofriddles！andallthemathematiciansandmagiciansbringtheirgreatbeardstobearonaconundrum！
WhenIgotintothebazaaramongthisrace，somehowIfeltasiftheywereallfriends。Theresatthemerchantsintheirlittleshops，quietandsolemn，butwithfriendlylooks。Therewasnosmoking，itwastheRamazan；noeating，thefishandmeatfizzingintheenormouspotsofthecook-shopsareonlyfortheChristians。
Thechildrenabounded；thelawisnotsostringentuponthem，andmanywanderingmerchantsweretheresellingfigs（inthenameoftheProphet，doubtless）fortheirbenefit，andelbowingonwardswithbasketsofgrapesandcucumbers。Countrymenpassedbristlingoverwitharms，eachwithahugebellyfulofpistolsanddaggersinhisgirdle；fierce，butnottheleastdangerous。WildswarthyArabs，whohadcomeinwiththecaravans，walkedsolemnlyabout，verydifferentinlookanddemeanourfromthesleekinhabitantsofthetown。GreeksandJewssquattedandsmoked，theirshopstendedbysallow-facedboys，withlargeeyes，whosmiledandwelcomedyouin；negroesbustledaboutingaudycolours；andwomen，withblacknose-bagsandshufflingyellowslippers，chatteredandbargainedatthedoorsofthelittleshops。Therewastheropequarterandthesweetmeatquarter，andthepipebazaarandthearmbazaar，andthelittleturned-upshoequarter，andtheshopswhereready-madejacketsandpelisseswereswinging，andtheregionwhere，undertheraggedawning，regimentsoftailorswereatwork。Thesunpeepsthroughtheseawningsofmatorcanvas，whicharehungoverthenarrowlanesofthebazaar，andornamentsthemwithathousandfreaksoflightandshadow。CogiaHassanAlhabbal’sshopisinablazeoflight；whilehisneighbour，thebarberandcoffee-housekeeper，hashispremises，hislowseatsandnarghiles，hisqueerpotsandbasins，intheshade。Thecobblersarealwaysgood-
natured；therewasonewho，Iamsure，hasbeenrevealedtomeinmydreams，inadirtyoldgreenturban，withapleasantwrinkledfacelikeanapple，twinklinghislittlegreyeyesasheheldthemuptotalktothegossips，andsmilingunderadelightfuloldgreybeard，whichdidtheheartgoodtosee。Youdivinetheconversationbetweenhimandthecucumber-man，astheSultanusedtounderstandthelanguageofbirds。Areanyofthosecucumbersstuffedwithpearls，andisthatArmenianwiththeblacksquareturbanHarounAlraschidindisguise，standingyonderbythefountainwherethechildrenaredrinking——thegleamingmarblefountain，chequeredalloverwithlightandshadow，andengravedwithdelicatearabesquesandsentencesfromtheKoran？
Butthegreatestsensationofalliswhenthecamelscome。Wholestringsofrealcamels，bettereventhanintheprocessionofBlueBeard，withsoftrollingeyesandbendednecks，swayingfromonesideofthebazaartotheothertoandfro，andtreadinggingerlywiththeirgreatfeet。Oyoufairydreamsofboyhood！Oyousweetmeditationsofhalf-holidays，hereyouarerealisedforhalf-an-
hour！Thegeniuswhichpresidesoveryouthledustodoagoodactionthatday。Therewasamansittinginanopenroom，ornamentedwithfinelong-tailedsentencesoftheKoran：someinred，someinblue；somewrittendiagonallyoverthepaper；somesoshapedastorepresentships，dragons，ormysteriousanimals。Themansquattedonacarpetinthemiddleofthisroom，withfoldedarms，wagglinghisheadtoandfro，swayingabout，andsingingthroughhisnosechoicephrasesfromthesacredwork。Butfromtheroomabovecameaclearnoiseofmanylittleshoutingvoices，muchmoremusicalthanthatofNasointhemattedparlour，andtheguidetoldusitwasaschool，sowewentupstairstolook。
Ideclare，onmyconscience，themasterwasintheactofbastinadoingalittlemulattoboy；hisfeetwereinabar，andthebrutewaslayingonwithacane；sowewitnessedthehowlingofthepoorboy，andtheconfusionofthebrutewhowasadministeringthecorrection。Theotherchildrenweremadetoshout，Ibelieve，todrownthenoiseoftheirlittlecomrade’showling；butthepunishmentwasinstantlydiscontinuedasourhatscameupoverthestair-trap，andtheboycastloose，andthebamboohuddledintoacorner，andtheschoolmasterstoodbeforeusabashed。Allthesmallscholarsinredcaps，andthelittlegirlsingaudyhandkerchiefs，turnedtheirbigwonderingdarkeyestowardsus；andthecaningwasoverforTHATtime，letustrust。Idon’tenvysomeschoolmastersinafuturestate。IpitythatpoorlittleblubberingMahometan：hewillneverbeabletorelishthe\"ArabianNights\"intheoriginal，allhislifelong。
Fromthisscenewerushedoffsomewhatdiscomposedtomakeabreakfastoffredmulletsandgrapes，melons，pomegranates，andSmyrnawine，atadirtylittlecomfortableinn，towhichwewererecommended：andfromthewindowsofwhichwehadafinecheerfulviewofthegulfanditsbusycraft，andtheloungersandmerchantsalongtheshore。Therewerecamelsunloadingatonewharf，andpilesofmelonsmuchbiggerthantheGibraltarcannon-ballsatanother。Itwasthefig-season，andwepassedthroughseveralalleysencumberedwithlongrowsoffig-dressers，childrenandwomenforthemostpart，whowerepackingthefruitdiligentlyintodrums，dippingtheminsalt-waterfirst，andspreadingthemneatlyoverwithleaves；whilethefigsandleavesaredrying，largewhitewormscrawloutofthem，andswarmoverthedecksoftheshipswhichcarrythemtoEuropeandtoEngland，wheresmallchildreneatthemwithpleasure——Imeanthefigs，nottheworms——andwheretheyarestillservedatwine-partiesattheUniversities。Whenfreshtheyarenotbetterthanelsewhere；butthemelonsareofadmirableflavour，andsolarge，thatCinderellamightalmostbeaccommodatedwithacoachmadeofabigone，withoutanyverygreatdistensionofitsoriginalproportions。
Ourguide，anaccomplishedswindler，demandedtwodollarsasthefeeforenteringthemosque，whichothersofourpartysubsequentlysawforsixpence，sowedidnotcaretoexaminethatplaceofworship。Buttherewereothercheapersights，whichweretothefullaspicturesque，forwhichtherewasnocalltopaymoney，or，indeed，foraday，scarcelytomoveatall。Idoubtwhetheramanwhowouldsmokehispipeonabazaarcounterallday，andletthecityflowbyhim，wouldnotbealmostaswellemployedasthemostactivecuriosity-hunter。
Tobesurehewouldnotseethewomen。Thoseinthebazaarwereshabbypeopleforthemostpart，whoseblackmasksnobodywouldfeelacuriositytoremove。Youcouldseenomoreoftheirfiguresthaniftheyhadbeenstuffedinbolsters；andeventheirfeetwerebroughttoageneralsplayuniformitybythedoubleyellowslipperswhichthewivesoftruebelieverswear。ButitisintheGreekandArmenianquarters，andamongthosepoorChristianswhowerepullingfigs，thatyouseethebeauties；andamanofagenerousdispositionmaylosehishearthalf-a-dozentimesadayinSmyrna。
Therewastheprettymaidatworkatatambour-frameinanopenporch，withanoldduennaspinningbyherside，andagoattieduptotherailingsofthelittlecourt-garden；therewasthenymphwhocamedownthestairwiththepitcheronherhead，andgazedwithgreatcalmeyes，aslargeandstatelyasJuno’s；therewasthegentlemother，bendingoveraqueercradle，inwhichlayasmallcryingbundleofinfancy。AllthesethreecharmerswereseeninasinglestreetintheArmenianquarter，wherethehouse-doorsareallopen，andthewomenofthefamiliessitunderthearchesinthecourt。Therewasthefig-girl，beautifulbeyondallothers，withanimmensecoilofdeepblackhairtwistedroundaheadofwhichRaphaelwasworthytodrawtheoutlineandTitiantopaintthecolour。IwondertheSultanhasnotsweptheroff，orthatthePersianmerchants，whocomewithsilksandsweetmeats，havenotkidnappedherfortheShahofTehran。
WewenttoseethePersianmerchantsattheirkhan，andpurchasedsomesilkstherefromaswarthyblack-beardedman，withaconicalcapoflambswool。Isitnothardtothinkthatsilksboughtofamaninalambswoolcap，inacaravanserai，broughthitheronthebacksofcamels，shouldhavebeenmanufacturedafterallatLyons？
Othersofourpartyboughtcarpets，forwhichthetownisfamous；
andtherewasonewhoabsolutelylaidinastockofrealSmyrnafigs；andpurchasedthreeorfourrealSmyrnaspongesforhiscarriage；sostrongwashispassionforthegenuinearticle。
IwonderthatnopainterhasgivenusfamiliarviewsoftheEast：
notprocessions，grandsultans，ormagnificentlandscapes；butfaithfultranscriptsofeverydayOrientallife，suchaseachstreetwillsupplytohim。Thecamelsaffordendlessmotives，couchedinthemarket-places，lyingbythousandsinthecamel-square，snortingandbubblingaftertheirmanner，thesunblazingdownontheirbacks，theirslavesandkeeperslyingbehindthemintheshade：
andtheCaravanBridge，aboveall，wouldaffordapaintersubjectsforadozenofpictures。OverthisRomanarch，whichcrossestheMelesriver，allthecaravanspassontheirentrancetothetown。
Ononeside，aswesatandlookedatit，wasagreatrowofplane-
trees；ontheoppositebank，adeepwoodoftallcypresses——inthemidstofwhichroseupinnumerablegreytombs，surmountedwiththeturbansofthedefunctbelievers。Besidethestream，theviewwaslessgloomy。Therewasundertheplane-treesalittlecoffee-
house，shadedbyatrellis-work，coveredoverwithavine，andornamentedwithmanyrowsofshiningpotsandwater-pipes，forwhichtherewasnouseatnoon-daynow，inthetimeofRamazan。
Hardbythecoffee-housewasagardenandabubblingmarblefountain，andoverthestreamwasabrokensummer-house，towhichamateursmayascendforthepurposeofexaminingtheriver；andallroundtheplane-treesplentyofstoolsforthosewhowereinclinedtositanddrinksweetthickcoffee，orcoollemonademadeoffreshgreencitrons。Themasterofthehouse，dressedinawhiteturbanandlightbluepelisse，lolledunderthecoffee-houseawning；theslaveinwhitewithacrimsonstripedjacket，hisfaceasblackasebony，broughtuspipesandlemonadeagain，andreturnedtohisstationatthecoffee-house，wherehecurledhisblacklegstogether，andbegansingingoutofhisflatnosetothethrummingofalongguitarwithwirestrings。Theinstrumentwasnotbiggerthanasoup-ladle，withalongstraighthandle，butitsmusicpleasedtheperformer；forhiseyesrolledshiningabout，andhisheadwagged，andhegrinnedwithaninnocentintensityofenjoymentthatdidonegoodtolookat。Andtherewasafriendtosharehispleasure：aTurkdressedinscarlet，andcoveredalloverwithdaggersandpistols，satleaningforwardonhislittlestool，rockingabout，andgrinningquiteaseagerlyastheblackminstrel。
Ashesangandwelistened，figuresofwomenbearingpitcherswentpassingovertheRomanbridge，whichwesawbetweenthelargetrunksoftheplanes；orgreyformsofcamelswereseenstalkingacrossit，thestringprecededbythelittledonkey，whoisalwaysheretheirlong-earedconductor。
Theseareveryhumbleincidentsoftravel。Whereverthesteamboattouchestheshoreadventureretreatsintotheinterior，andwhatiscalledromancevanishes。Itwon’tbearthevulgargaze；orratherthelightofcommondayputsitout，anditisonlyinthedarkthatitshinesatall。ThereisnocursingandinsultingofGiaoursnow。IfaCockneylooksorbehavesinaparticularlyridiculousway，thelittleTurkscomeoutandlaughathim。A
Londonerisnolongeraspittoonfortruebelievers：andnowthatdarkHassansitsinhisdivananddrinkschampagne，andSelimhasaFrenchwatch，andZuleikaperhapstakesMorison’spills，Byronismbecomesabsurdinsteadofsublime，andisonlyafoolishexpressionofCockneywonder。Theystilloccasionallybeatamanforgoingintoamosque，butthisisalmosttheonlysignofferociousvitalityleftintheTurkoftheMediterraneancoast，andstrangersmayenterscoresofmosqueswithoutmolestation。Thepaddle-wheelisthegreatconqueror。Whereverthecaptaincries\"Stopher！\"
Civilisationstops，andlandsintheship’sboat，andmakesapermanentacquaintancewiththesavagesonshore。Wholehostsofcrusadershavepassedanddied，andbutcheredhereinvain。ButtomanufactureEuropeanironintopikesandhelmetswasawasteofmetal：intheshapeofpiston-rodsandfurnace-pokersitisirresistible；andIthinkanallegorymightbemadeshowinghowmuchstrongercommerceisthanchivalry，andfinishingwithagrandimageofMahomet’screscentbeingextinguishedinFulton’sboiler。
ThisIthoughtwasthemoraloftheday’ssightsandadventures。
Wepulledofftothesteamerintheafternoon——theInbatblowingfresh，andsettingallthecraftinthegulfdancingoveritsbluewaters。Wewerepresentlyunderwayagain，thecaptainorderinghisenginestoworkonlyathalfpower，sothataFrenchsteamerwhichwasquittingSmyrnaatthesametimemightcomeupwithus，andfancyshecouldbeattheirirresistible，\"Tagus。\"Vainhope！
JustastheFrenchmannearedus，the\"Tagus\"shotoutlikeanarrow，andthediscomfitedFrenchmanwentbehind。Thoughweallrelishedthejokeexceedingly，therewasaFrenchgentlemanonboardwhodidnotseemtobebyanymeanstickledwithit；buthehadreceivedpapersatSmyrna，containingnewsofMarshalBugeaud’svictoryatIsly，andhadthislandvictorytosetagainstourharmlesslittletriumphatsea。
ThatnightweroundedtheislandofMitylene：andthenextdaythecoastofTroywasinsight，andthetombofAchilles——adismal-
lookingmoundthatrisesinalowdrearybarrenshore——lesslivelyandnotmorepicturesquethantheScheldtorthemouthoftheThames。ThenwepassedTenedosandthefortsandtownatthemouthoftheDardanelles。Theweatherwasnottoohot，thewaterassmoothasatPutney，andeverybodyhappyandexcitedatthethoughtofseeingConstantinopleto-morrow。WehadmusiconboardallthewayfromSmyrna。AGermancommis-voyageur，withaguitar，whohadpassedunnoticeduntilthattime，producedhisinstrumentaboutmid-day，andbegantowhistlewaltzes。Hewhistledsodivinelythattheladieslefttheircabins，andmenlaiddowntheirbooks。
HewhistledapolkasobewitchinglythattwoyoungOxfordmenbeganwhirlingroundthedeck，andperformedthatpopulardancewithmuchagilityuntiltheysankdowntired。Hestillcontinuedanunabatedwhistling，andasnobodywoulddance，pulledoffhiscoat，producedapairofcastanets，andwhistlingamazurka，performeditwithtremendousagility。Hiswhistlingmadeeverybodygayandhappy——
madethoseacquaintedwhohadnotspokenbefore，andinspiredsuchafeelingofhilarityintheship，thatthatnight，aswefloatedovertheSeaofMarmora，ageneralvotewasexpressedforbroiledbonesandaregularsupper-party。Punchwasbrewed，andspeechesweremade，and，afteralapseoffifteenyears，Iheardthe\"OldEnglishGentleman\"and\"BrightChanticleerProclaimstheMorn，\"
sunginsuchstylethatyouwouldalmostfancytheproctorsmusthear，andsendusallhome。
CHAPTERVII：CONSTANTINOPLE
WhenwearoseatsunrisetoseethefamousentrytoConstantinople，wefound，intheplaceofthecityandthesun，abrightwhitefog，whichhidbothfromsight，andwhichonlydisappearedasthevesseladvancedtowardstheGoldenHorn。Therethefogclearedoffasitwerebyflakes，andasyouseegauzecurtainsliftedaway，onebyone，beforeagreatfairysceneatthetheatre。Thiswillgiveideaenoughofthefog；thedifficultyistodescribethesceneafterwards，whichwasintruththegreatfairyscene，thanwhichitisimpossibletoconceiveanythingmorebrilliantandmagnificent。
Ican’tgotoanymoreromanticplacethanDruryLanetodrawmysimilesfrom——DruryLane，suchasweusedtoseeitinouryouth，whentooursightthegrandlastpicturesofthemelodramaorpantomimewereasmagnificentasanyobjectsofnaturewehaveseenwithmaturereyes。Well，theviewofConstantinopleisasfineasanyofStanfield’sbesttheatricalpictures，seenatthebestperiodofyouth，whenfancyhadallthebloomonher——whenalltheheroineswhodancedbeforethesceneappearedasravishingbeauties，whenthereshoneanunearthlysplendouraboutBakerandDiddear——andthesoundofthebuglesandfiddles，andthecheerfulclangofthecymbals，asthesceneunrolled，andthegorgeousprocessionmeanderedtriumphantlythroughit——causedathrillofpleasure，andawakenedaninnocentfulnessofsensualenjoymentthatisonlygiventoboys。
Theabovesentencecontainsthefollowingpropositions：-Theenjoymentsofboyishfancyarethemostintenseanddeliciousintheworld。Stanfield’spanoramausedtobetherealisationofthemostintenseyouthfulfancy。Ipuzzlemybrainsandfindnobetterlikenessfortheplace。TheviewofConstantinopleresemblestheneplusultraofaStanfielddiorama，withagloriousaccompanimentofmusic，spangledhouris，warriors，andwindingprocessions，feastingtheeyesandthesoulwithlight，splendour，andharmony。
Ifyouwereneverinthiswayduringyouryouthravishedattheplay-house，ofcoursethewholecomparisonisuseless：andyouhavenoidea，fromthisdescription，oftheeffectwhichConstantinopleproducesonthemind。Butifyouwereneveraffectedbyatheatre，nowordscanworkuponyourfancy，andtypographicalattemptstomoveitareofnouse。For，supposewecombinemosque，minaret，gold，cypress，water，blue，caiques，seventy-four，Galata，Tophana，Ramazan，Backallum，andsoforth，together，ineversomanyways，yourimaginationwillneverbeabletodepictacityoutofthem。Or，supposeIsaytheMosqueofSt。
Sophiaisfourhundredandseventy-threefeetinheight，measuringfromthemiddlenailofthegiltcrescentsurmountingthedometotheringinthecentrestone；thecircleofthedomeisonehundredandtwenty-threefeetindiameter，thewindowsninety-seveninnumber——andallthismaybetrue，foranythingIknowtothecontrary：yetwhoistogetanideaofSt。Sophiafromdates，propernames，andcalculationswithameasuring-line？Itcan’tbedonebygivingtheageandmeasurementofallthebuildingsalongtheriver，thenamesofalltheboatmenwhoplyonit。Hasyourfancy，whichpooh-poohsasimile，faithenoughtobuildacitywithafoot-rule？Enoughsaidaboutdescriptionsandsimiles（thoughwheneverIamuncertainofoneIamnaturallymostanxioustofightforit）：itisascenenotperhapssublime，butcharming，magnificent，andcheerfulbeyondanyIhaveeverseen——themostsuperbcombinationofcityandgardens，domesandshipping，hillsandwater，withthehealthiestbreezeblowingoverit，andaboveitthebrightestandmostcheerfulsky。
Itisproper，theysay，tobedisappointedonenteringthetown，oranyofthevariousquartersofit，becausethehousesarenotsomagnificentoninspectionandseensinglyastheyarewhenbeheldenmassefromthewaters。Butwhyformexpectationssolofty？Ifyouseeagroupofpeasantspicturesquelydisposedatafair，youdon’tsupposethattheyareallfaultlessbeauties，orthatthemen’scoatshavenorags，andthewomen’sgownsaremadeofsilkandvelvet：thewilduglinessoftheinteriorofConstantinopleorPerahasacharmofitsown，greatlymoreamusingthanrowsofredbricksordrabstones，howeversymmetrical。Withbrickorstonetheycouldneverformthosefantasticornaments，railings，balconies，roofs，galleries，whichjutinandoutoftheruggedhousesofthecity。AswewentfromGalatatoPeraupasteephill，whichnewcomersascendwithsomedifficulty，butwhichaporter，withacoupleofhundredweightonhisback，pacesupwithoutturningahair，Ithoughtthewoodenhousesfarfrombeingdisagreeableobjects，sightsquiteassurprisingandstrikingasthegrandonewehadjustleft。
Idonotknowhowthecustom-houseofHisHighnessismadetobeaprofitablespeculation。AsIlefttheship，amanpulledaftermyboat，andaskedforbacksheesh，whichwasgivenhimtotheamountofabouttwopence。Hewasacustom-houseofficer，butIdoubtwhetherthissumwhichheleviedeverwenttotherevenue。
IcanfancythesceneaboutthequayssomewhattoresembletheriverofLondoninoldentimes，beforecoal-smokehaddarkenedthewholecitywithsoot，andwhen，accordingtotheoldwriters，therereallywasbrightweather。Thefleetsofcaiquesbustlingalongtheshore，orscuddingoverthebluewater，arebeautifultolookat：inHollar’sprintLondonriverissostuddedoverwithwherry-
boats，whichbridgesandsteamershavesincedestroyed。Herethecaiqueisstillinfullperfection：therearethirtythousandboatsofthekindplyingbetweenthecities；everyboatisneat，andtrimlycarvedandpainted；andIscarcelysawamanpullinginoneofthemthatwasnotafinespecimenofhisrace，brawnyandbrown，withanopenchestandahandsomeface。Theywearathinshirtofexceedinglylightcotton，whichleavestheirfinebrownlimbsfullplay；andwithapurpleseaforabackground，everyoneofthesedashingboatsformsabrilliantandglitteringpicture。
Passengerssquatintheinsideoftheboat；sothatasitpassesyouseelittlemorethantheheadsofthetruebelievers，withtheirredfezandbluetassel，andthatplacidgravityofexpressionwhichthesuckingofatobacco-pipeissuretogivetoaman。
TheBosphorusisenlivenedbyamultiplicityofotherkindsofcraft。Therearethedirtymen-of-war’sboatsoftheRussians，withunwashedmangycrews；thegreatferry-boatscarryinghundredsofpassengerstothevillages；themelon-boatspiledupwithenormousgoldenfruit；HisExcellencythePasha’sboat，withtwelvemenbendingtotheiroars；andHisHighness’sowncaique，withaheadlikeaserpent，andeight-and-twentytuggingoarsmen，thatgoesshootingbyamidstthethunderingofthecannon。Shipsandsteamers，withblacksidesandflauntingcolours，aremooredeverywhere，showingtheirflags，RussianandEnglish，Austrian，American，andGreek；andalongthequayscountryshipsfromtheBlackSeaortheislands，withhighcarvedpoopsandbows，suchasyouseeinthepicturesoftheshippingoftheseventeenthcentury。
Thevastgrovesandtowers，domesandquays，tallminaretsandspiredspreadingmosquesofthethreecities，riseallaroundinendlessmagnificenceandvariety，andrenderthiswater-streetasceneofsuchdelightfullivelinessandbeauty，thatonenevertiresoflookingatit。IlostagreatnumberofthesightsinandroundConstantinoplethroughthebeautyofthisadmirablescene：
butwhataresightsafterall？andisn’tthatthebestsightwhichmakesyoumosthappy？
WewerelodgedatPeraatMisseri’sHotel，thehostofwhichhasbeenmadefamouserethistimebytheexcellentbook\"Eothen，\"——aworkforwhichallthepassengersonboardourshiphadbeenbattling，andwhichhadcharmedall——fromourgreatstatesman，ourpolishedlawyer，ouryoungOxonian，whosighedovercertainpassagesthathefearedwerewicked，downtothewriterofthis，who，afterperusingitwithdelight，laiditdownwithwonder，exclaiming，\"AutDiabolusaut\"——abookwhichhassince（greatestmiracleofall）excitedafeelingofwarmthandadmirationinthebosomofthegod-like，impartial，stonyAthenaeum。Misseri，thefaithfulandchivalrousTartar，istransformedintothemostquietandgentlemanlikeoflandlords，agreatdealmoregentlemanlikeinmannerandappearancethanmostofuswhosatathistable，andsmokedcoolpipesonhishouse-top，aswelookedoverthehillandtheRussianpalacetothewater，andtheSeragliogardensshiningintheblue。WeconfrontedMisseri，\"Eothen\"inhand，andfound，onexamininghim，thatitWAS\"autDiabolusautamicus\"——butthenameisasecret；Iwillneverbreatheit，thoughIamdyingtotellit。
ThelastgooddescriptionofaTurkishbath，Ithink，wasLadyMaryWortleyMontagu’s——whichvoluptuouspicturemusthavebeenpaintedatleastahundredandthirtyyearsago；sothatanothersketchmaybeattemptedbyahumblerartistinadifferentmanner。TheTurkishbathiscertainlyanovelsensationtoanEnglishman，andmaybesetdownasamostqueerandsurprisingeventofhislife。
Imadethevalet-de-placeordragoman（itisratherafinethingtohaveadragomaninone’sservice）conductmeforthwithtothebestappointedhummumsintheneighbourhood；andwewalkedtoahouseatTophana，andintoaspacioushalllightedfromabove，whichisthecooling-roomofthebath。
Thespacioushallhasalargefountaininthemidst，apaintedgalleryrunningroundit；andmanyropesstretchedfromonegallerytoanother，ornamentedwithprofusedraperiesoftowelsandbluecloths，fortheuseofthefrequentersoftheplace。Allroundtheroomandthegalleriesweremattedinclosures，fittedwithnumerousneatbedsandcushionsforreposingon，wherelayadozenoftruebelieverssmoking，orsleeping，orinthehappyhalf-dozingstate。
Iwasleduptooneofthesebeds，toratheraretiredcorner，inconsiderationofmymodesty；andtothenextbedpresentlycameadancingdervish，whoforthwithbegantoprepareforthebath。
Whenthedancingdervishhadtakenoffhisyellowsugar-loafcap，hisgown，shawl，&c。，hewasarrayedintwolargebluecloths；awhiteonebeingthrownoverhisshoulders，andanotherintheshapeofaturbanplaitedneatlyroundhishead；thegarmentsofwhichhedivestedhimselfwerefoldedupinanotherlinen，andneatlyputby。IbegleavetostateIwastreatedinpreciselythesamemannerasthedancingdervish。
Thereverendgentlemanthenputonapairofwoodenpattens，whichelevatedhimaboutsixinchesfromtheground；andwalkeddownthestairs，andpaddledacrossthemoistmarblefloorofthehall，andinatalittledoor，bythewhichalsoTitmarshentered。ButIhadnoneoftheprofessionalagilityofthedancingdervish；I
staggeredaboutveryludicrouslyuponthehighwoodenpattens；andshouldhavebeendownonmynoseseveraltimes，hadnotthedragomanandthemasterofthebathsupportedmedownthestairsandacrossthehall。Dressedinthreelargecottonnapkins，withawhiteturbanroundmyhead，IthoughtofPallMallwithasortofdespair。Ipassedthelittledoor，itwasclosedbehindme——Iwasinthedark——Icouldn’tspeakthelanguage——inawhiteturban。MonDieu！whatwasgoingtohappen？
Thedarkroomwasthetepidarium，amoistoozingarchedden，withalightfaintlystreamingfromanorificeinthedomedceiling。
Yellsoffranticlaughterandsongcameboomingandclangingthroughtheechoingarches，thedoorsclappedtowithloudreverberations。ItwasthelaughterofthefollowersofMahound，rollickingandtakingtheirpleasureinthepublicbath。Icouldnotgointothatplace：IsworeIwouldnot；theypromisedmeaprivateroom，andthedragomanleftme。MyagonyatpartingfromthatChristiancannotbedescribed。
Whenyougetintothesudarium，orhotroom，yourfirstsensationsonlyoccurabouthalfaminuteafterentrance，whenyoufeelthatyouarechoking。Ifoundmyselfinthatstate，seatedonamarbleslab；thebathmanwasgone；hehadtakenawaythecottonturbanandshouldershawl：IsawIwasinanarrowroomofmarble，withavaultedroof，andafountainofwarmandcoldwater；theatmospherewasinasteam，thechokingsensationwentoff，andIfeltasortofpleasurepresentlyinasoftboilingsimmer，which，nodoubt，potatoesfeelwhentheyaresteaming。Youareleftinthisstateforabouttenminutes：itiswarmcertainly，butoddandpleasant，anddisposesthemindtoreverie。
ButletanydelicatemindinBakerStreetfancymyhorrorwhen，onlookingupoutofthisreverie，Isawagreatbrownwretchextendedbeforeme，onlyhalfdressed，standingonpattens，andexaggeratedbythemandthesteamuntilhelookedlikeanogre，grinninginthemosthorribleway，andwavinghisarm，onwhichwasahorsehairglove。Hespoke，inhisunknownnasaljargon，wordswhichechoedthroughthearchedroom；hiseyesseemedastonishinglylargeandbright，hisearsstuckout，andhisheadwasallshaved，exceptabristlingtop-knot，whichgaveitademoniacfierceness。
Thisdescription，Ifeel，isgrowingtoofrightful；ladieswhoreaditwillbegoingintohysterics，orsaying，\"Well，uponmyword，thisisthemostsingular，themostextraordinarykindoflanguage。
Jane，mylove，youwillnotreadthatodiousbook——\"andsoIwillbebrief。Thisgrinningmanbelaboursthepatientviolentlywiththehorse-brush。Whenhehascompletedthehorsehairpart，andyoulieexpiringunderasquirtingfountainofwarmwater，andfancyingallisdone，hereappearswithalargebrassbasin，containingaquantityoflather，inthemidstofwhichissomethinglikeoldMissMacWhirter’sflaxenwigthatsheissoproudof，andthatwehavealllaughedat。Justasyouaregoingtoremonstrate，thethinglikethewigisdashedintoyourfaceandeyes，coveredoverwithsoap，andforfiveminutesyouaredrownedinlather：youcan’tsee，thesudsarefrothingoveryoureye-balls；youcan’thear，thesoapiswhizzingintoyourears；can’tgaspforbreath，MissMacWhirter’swigisdownyourthroatwithhalfapailfulofsudsinaninstant——youareallsoap。Wickedchildreninformerdayshavejeeredyou，exclaiming，\"Howareyouoffforsoap？\"YoulittleknewwhatsaponacitywastillyouenteredaTurkishbath。
Whenthewholeoperationisconcluded，youareled——withwhatheartfeltjoyIneednotsay——softlybacktothecooling-room，havingbeenrobedinshawlsandturbansasbefore。Youarelaidgentlyonthereposingbed；somebodybringsanarghile，whichtastesastobaccomusttasteinMahomet’sParadise；acoolsweetdreamylanguortakespossessionofthepurifiedframe；andhalf-an-
hourofsuchdeliciouslazinessisspentoverthepipeasisunknowninEurope，wherevulgarprejudicehasmostshamefullymalignedindolence——callsitfoulnames，suchasthefatherofallevil，andthelike；infact，doesnotknowhowtoeducateidlenessasthosehonestTurksdo，andthefruitwhich，whenproperlycultivated，itbears。
Theafter-bathstateisthemostdelightfulconditionoflazinessI
everknew，andItrieditwhereverwewentafterwardsonourlittletour。AtSmyrnathewholebusinesswasmuchinferiortothemethodemployedinthecapital。AtCairo，afterthesoap，youareplungedintoasortofstonecoffin，fullofwaterwhichisallbutboiling。Thishasitscharms；butIcouldnotrelishtheEgyptianshampooing。Ahideousoldblindman（butverydexterousinhisart）triedtobreakmybackanddislocatemyshoulders，butIcouldnotseethepleasureofthepractice；andanotherfellowbeganticklingthesolesofmyfeet，butIrewardedhimwithakickthatsenthimoffthebench。Thepureidlenessisthebest，andIshallneverenjoysuchinEuropeagain。
VictorHugo，inhisfamoustravelsontheRhine，visitingCologne，givesalearnedaccountofwhatheDIDN’Tseethere。IhavearemarkablecatalogueofsimilarobjectsatConstantinople。I
didn’tseethedancingdervishes，itwasRamazan；northehowlingdervishesatScutari，itwasRamazan；northeinteriorofSt。
Sophia，northewomen’sapartmentoftheSeraglio，northefashionablepromenadeattheSweetWaters，alwaysbecauseitwasRamazan；duringwhichperiodthedervishesdanceandhowlbutrarely，theirlegsandlungsbeingunequaltomuchexertionduringafastoffifteenhours。Onaccountofthesameholyseason，theRoyalpalacesandmosquesareshut；andthoughtheValleyoftheSweetWatersisthere，noonegoestowalk；thepeopleremainingasleepallday，andpassingthenightinfeastingandcarousing。
Theminaretsareilluminatedatthisseason；eventhehumblestmosqueatJerusalem，orJaffa，mountedafewcirclesofdingylamps；thoseofthecapitalwerehandsomelylightedwithmanyfestoonsoflamps，whichhadafineeffectfromthewater。Ineednotmentionotherandconstantilluminationsofthecity，whichinnumerabletravellershavedescribed——Imeanthefires。TherewerethreeinPeraduringoureightdays’staythere；buttheydidnotlastlongenoughtobringtheSultanoutofbedtocomeandlendhisaid。Mr。Hobhouse（quotedinthe\"Guide-book\"）says，ifafirelastsanhour，theSultanisboundtoattenditinperson；andthatpeoplehavingpetitionstopresent，haveoftensethousesonfireforthepurposeofforcingoutthisRoyaltrump。TheSultancan’tleadavery\"jollylife，\"ifthisrulebeuniversal。FancyHisHighness，inthemidstofhismoon-facedbeauties，handkerchiefinhand，andobligedtotieitroundhisface，andgooutofhiswarmharematmidnightatthecursedcryof\"YangenVar！\"
WesawHisHighnessinthemidstofhispeopleandtheirpetitions，whenhecametothemosqueatTophana；notthelargest，butoneofthemostpicturesqueofthepublicbuildingsofthecity。Thestreetswerecrowdedwithpeoplewatchingfortheaugustarrival，andlinedwiththesquatmilitaryintheirbastardEuropeancostume；thesturdypolice，withbandeliersandbrownsurtouts，keepingorder，drivingoffthefaithfulfromtherailingsoftheEsplanadethroughwhichtheirEmperorwastopass，andonlyadmitting（withaveryunjustpartiality，Ithought）usEuropeansintothatreservedspace。Beforetheaugustarrival，numerousofficerscollected，colonelsandpashaswentbywiththeirattendantrunningfootmen；themostactive，insolent，andhideousofthesegreatmen，asIthought，beingHisHighness’sblackeunuchs，whowentprancingthroughthecrowd，whichseparatedbeforethemwitheverysignofrespect。
Thecommonwomenwereassembledbymanyhundreds：theyakmac，amuslinchin-clothwhichtheywear，makesalmosteveryfacelookthesame；buttheeyesandnosesofthesebeautiesaregenerallyvisible，and，forthemostpart，boththesefeaturesaregood。Thejollynegresseswearthesamewhiteveil，buttheyarebynomeanssoparticularabouthidingthecharmsoftheirgood-naturedblackfaces，andtheylettheclothblowaboutasitlists，andgrinunconfined。Whereverwewentthenegroesseemedhappy。Theyhavetheorganofchild-loving：littlecreatureswerealwaysprattlingontheirshoulders，queerlittlethingsinnightgownsofyellowdimity，withgreatflowers，andpinkorredoryellowshawls，withgreateyesglisteningunderneath。Ofsuchtheblackwomenseemedalwaysthehappyguardians。Isawoneatafountain，holdingonechildinherarms，andgivinganotheradrink——araggedlittlebeggar——asweetandtouchingpictureofablackcharity。
IamalmostforgettingHisHighnesstheSultan。AboutahundredgunswerefiredoffatclumsyintervalsfromtheEsplanadefacingtheBosphorus，warningusthatthemonarchhadsetofffromhisSummerPalace，andwasonthewaytohisgrandcanoe。Atlastthatvesselmadeitsappearance；thebandstruckuphisfavouriteair；
hiscaparisonedhorsewasleddowntotheshoretoreceivehim；theeunuchs，fatpashas，colonelsandofficersofstategatheringroundastheCommanderoftheFaithfulmounted。Ihadtheindescribablehappinessofseeinghimataveryshortdistance。ThePadishah，orFatherofalltheSovereignsonearth，hasnotthatmajesticairwhichsomesovereignspossess，andwhichmakesthebeholder’seyeswink，andhiskneestrembleunderhim：hehasablackbeard，andahandsomewell-bredface，ofaFrenchcast；helookslikeayoungFrenchrouewornoutbydebauch；hiseyesbright，withblackringsroundthem；hischeekspaleandhollow。Hewaslollingonhishorseasifhecouldhardlyholdhimselfonthesaddle：orasifhiscloak，fastenedwithablazingdiamondclasponhisbreast，andfallingoverhishorse’stail，pulledhimback。ButthehandsomesallowfaceoftheRefugeoftheWorldlookeddecidedlyinterestingandintellectual。IhaveseenmanyayoungDonJuanatParis，behindacounter，withsuchabeardandcountenance；theflameofpassionstillburninginhisholloweyes，whileonhisdampbrowwasstampedthefatalmarkofprematuredecay。Themanwesawcannotlivemanysummers。WomenandwinearesaidtohavebroughttheZilullahtothisstate；anditiswhisperedbythedragomans，orlaquais-de-place（fromwhomtravellersatConstantinoplegenerallygettheirpoliticalinformation），thattheSultan’smotherandhisministersconspiretokeephimplungedinsensuality，thattheymaygovernthekingdomaccordingtotheirownfancies。Mr。Urquhart，Iamsure，thinksthatLordPalmerstonhassomethingtodowiththebusiness，anddrugstheSultan’schampagneforthebenefitofRussia。
AsthePontiffofMussulmanspassedintothemosquesashowerofpetitionswasflungfromthestepswherethecrowdwascollected，andovertheheadsofthegendarmesinbrown。Ageneralcry，asforjustice，roseup；andoneoldraggedwomancameforwardandburstthroughthethrong，howling，andflingingaboutherleanarms，andbaringheroldshrunkenbreast。Ineversawafineractionoftragicwoo，orheardsoundsmorepitifulthanthoseoldpassionategroansofhers。Whatwasyourprayer，pooroldwretchedsoul？Thegendarmeshemmedherround，andhustledheraway，butratherkindly。ThePadishahwentonquiteimpassible——thepictureofdebauchandennui。