CHAPTERXXXII
WhentheSnarksailedonherlongcruisefromSanFranciscotherewasnothingtodrinkonboard。Or，rather，wewereallofusunawarethattherewasanythingtodrink，nordidwediscoveritformanyamonth。Thissailingwitha\"dry\"boatwasmaliceaforethoughtonmypart。IhadplayedJohnBarleycornatrick。
AnditshowedthatIwaslisteningeversoslightlytothefaintwarningsthatwerebeginningtoariseinmyconsciousness。
Ofcourse，IveiledthesituationtomyselfandexcusedmyselftoJohnBarleycorn。AndIwasveryscientificaboutit。IsaidthatIwoulddrinkonlywhileinports。Duringthedrysea-stretchesmysystemwouldbecleansedofthealcoholthatsoakedit，sothatwhenIreachedaportIshouldbeinshapetoenjoyJohnBarleycornmorethoroughly。Hisbitewouldbesharper，hiskickkeenerandmoredelicious。
Weweretwenty-sevendaysonthetraversebetweenSanFranciscoandHonolulu。Afterthefirstdayout，thethoughtofadrinknevertroubledme。ThisItaketoshowhowintrinsicallyIamnotanalcoholic。Sometimes，duringthetraverse，lookingaheadandanticipatingthedelightfullanailuncheonsanddinnersofHawaii（Ihadbeenthereacoupleoftimesbefore），Ithought，naturally，ofthedrinksthatwouldprecedethosemeals。Ididnotthinkofthosedrinkswithanyyearning，withanyirkatthelengthofthevoyage。Imerelythoughttheywouldbeniceandjolly，partoftheatmosphereofapropermeal。
Thus，onceagainIprovedtomycompletesatisfactionthatIwasJohnBarleycorn’smaster。IcoulddrinkwhenIwanted，refrainwhenIwanted。ThereforeIwouldcontinuetodrinkwhenIwanted。
SomefivemonthswerespentinthevariousislandsoftheHawaiiangroup。Beingashore，Idrank。IevendrankabitmorethanIhadbeenaccustomedtodrinkinCaliforniapriortothevoyage。ThepeopleinHawaiiseemedtodrinkabitmore，ontheaverage，thanthepeopleinmoretemperatelatitudes。Idonotintendthepun，andcanawkwardlyrevisethestatementto\"latitudesmoreremotefromtheequator；\"YetHawaiiisonlysub-tropical。ThedeeperI
gotintothetropics，thedeeperIfoundmendrank，thedeeperI
drankmyself。
FromHawaiiwesailedfortheMarquesas。Thetraverseoccupiedsixtydays。Forsixtydaysweneverraisedland，asail，norasteamersmoke。Butearlyinthosesixtydaysthecook，givinganoverhaulingtothegalley，madeafind。Downinthebottomofadeeplockerhefoundadozenbottlesofangelicaandmuscatel。
Thesehadcomedownfromthekitchencellaroftheranchalongwiththehome-preservedfruitsandjellies。Sixmonthsinthegalleyheathadeffectedsomesortofachangeinthethicksweetwine——brandedit，Iimagine。
Itookataste。Delicious！Andthereafter，onceeachday，attwelveo’clock，afterourobservationswereworkedupandtheSnark’spositioncharted，Idrankhalfatumblerofthestuff。Ithadararekicktoit。Itwarmedthecocklesofmygenialityandputafairerfaceonthetrulyfairfaceofthesea。Eachmorning，below，sweatingoutmythousandwords，Ifoundmyselflookingforwardtothattwelveo’clockeventoftheday。
ThetroublewasIhadtosharethestuff，andthelengthofthetraversewasdoubtful。Iregrettedthattherewerenotmorethanadozenbottles。AndwhentheyweregoneIevenregrettedthatI
hadsharedanyofit。Iwasthirstyforthealcohol，andeagertoarriveintheMarquesas。
SoitwasthatIreachedtheMarquesasthepossessorofarealman’ssizethirst。AndintheMarquesaswereseveralwhitemen，alotofsicklynatives，muchmagnificentscenery，plentyoftraderum，animmensequantityofabsinthe，butneitherwhiskynorgin。
Thetraderumscorchedtheskinoffone’smouth。Iknow，becauseItriedit。ButIhadeverbeenplastic，andIacceptedtheabsinthe。ThetroublewiththestuffwasthatIhadtotakesuchinordinatequantitiesinordertofeeltheslightesteffect。
FromtheMarquesasIsailedwithsufficientabsintheinballasttolastmetoTahiti，whereIoutfittedwithScotchandAmericanwhisky，andthereaftertherewerenodrystretchesbetweenports。
Butpleasedonotmisunderstand。Therewasnodrunkenness，asdrunkennessisordinarilyunderstood——nostaggeringandrollingaround，nobefuddlementofthesenses。Theskilledandseasoneddrinker，withastrongconstitution，neverdescendstoanythinglikethat。Hedrinkstofeelgood，togetapleasantjingle，andnomorethanthat。Thethingshecarefullyavoidsarethenauseaofover-drinking，theafter-effectofover-drinking，thehelplessnessandlossofprideofover-drinking。
Whattheskilledandseasoneddrinkerachievesisadiscreetandcannysemi-intoxication。Andhedoesitbythetwelve-montharoundwithoutanyapparentpenalty。TherearehundredsofthousandsofmenofthissortintheUnitedStatesto-day，inclubs，hotels，andintheirownhomes——menwhoareneverdrunk，andwho，thoughmostofthemwillindignantlydenyit，arerarelysober。Andallofthemfondlybelieve，asIfondlybelieved，thattheyarebeatingthegame。
Onthesea-stretchesIwasfairlyabstemious；butashoreIdrankmore。Iseemedtoneedmore，anyway，inthetropics。Thisisacommonexperience，fortheexcessiveconsumptionofalcoholinthetropicsbywhitemenisanotoriousfact。Thetropicsisnoplaceforwhite-skinnedmen。Theirskin-pigmentdoesnotprotectthemagainsttheexcessivewhitelightofthesun。Theultra-violetrays，andotherhigh-velocityandinvisibleraysfromtheupperendofthespectrum，ripandtearthroughtheirtissues，justastheX-rayrippedandtorethroughthetissuesofsomanyexperimentersbeforetheylearnedthedanger。
Whitemeninthetropicsundergoradicalchangesofnature。Theybecomesavage，merciless。Theycommitmonstrousactsofcrueltythattheywouldneverdreamofcommittingintheiroriginaltemperateclimate。Theybecomenervous，irritable，andlessmoral。Andtheydrinkastheyneverdrankbefore。Drinkingisoneformofthemanyformsofdegenerationthatsetinwhenwhitemenareexposedtoolongtotoomuchwhitelight。Theincreaseofalcoholicconsumptionisautomatic。Thetropicsisnoplaceforalongsojourn。Theyseemdoomedtodieanyway，andtheheavydrinkingexpeditestheprocess。Theydon’treasonaboutit。Theyjustdoit。
Thesunsicknessgotme，despitethefactthatIhadbeeninthetropicsonlyacoupleofyears。Idrankheavilyduringthistime，butrighthereIwishtoforestallmisunderstanding。Thedrinkingwasnotthecauseofthesickness，noroftheabandonmentofthevoyage。Iwasstrongasabull，andformanymonthsIfoughtthesunsicknessthatwasrippingandtearingmysurfaceandnervoustissuestopieces。AllthroughtheNewHebridesandtheSolomonsandupamongtheatollsontheLine，duringthisperiodunderatropicsun，rottenwithmalaria，andsufferingfromafewminorafflictionssuchasBiblicalleprosywiththesilveryskin，Ididtheworkoffivemen。
Tonavigateavesselthroughthereefsandshoalsandpassagesandunlightedcoastsofthecoralseasisaman’sworkinitself。I
wastheonlynavigatoronboard。Therewasnoonetocheckmeupontheworkingoutofmyobservations，norwithwhomIcouldadviseintheticklishdarknessamongunchartedreefsandshoals。
AndIstoodallwatches。Therewasnosea-manonboardwhomI
couldtrusttostandamate’swatch。Iwasmateaswellascaptain。Twenty-fourhoursadaywerethewatchesIstoodatsea，catchingcat-napswhenImight。Third，Iwasdoctor。Andletmesayrightherethatthedoctor’sjobontheSnarkatthattimewasaman’sjob。Allonboardsufferedfrommalaria——thereal，tropicalmalariathatcankillinthreemonths。Allonboardsufferedfromperforatingulcersandfromthemaddeningitchofngari-ngari。AJapanesecookwentinsanefromhistoonumerousafflictions。OneofmyPolynesiansailorslayatdeath’sdoorwithblackwaterfever。Oh，yes，itwasafullman’sjob，andI
dosedanddoctored，andpulledteeth，anddraggedmypatientsthroughmildlittlethingslikeptomainepoisoning。
Fourth，Iwasawriter。Isweatedoutmythousandwordsaday，everyday，exceptwhentheshockoffeversmoteme，oracoupleofnastysquallssmotetheSnark，inthemorning。Fifth，Iwasatravellerandawriter，eagertoseethingsandtogathermaterialintomynote-books。And，sixth，Iwasmasterandownerofthecraftthatwasvisitingstrangeplaceswherevisitorsarerareandwherevisitorsaremademuchof。SohereIhadtoholdupthesocialend，entertainonboard，beentertainedashorebyplanters，traders，governors，captainsofwarvessels，kinky-headedcannibalkings，andprimeministerssometimesfortunateenoughtobecladincottonshifts。
OfcourseIdrank。Idrankwithmyguestsandhosts。Also，I
drankbymyself。Doingtheworkoffivemen，Ithought，entitledmetodrink。Alcoholwasgoodforamanwhoover-worked。Inoteditseffectonmysmallcrew，when，breakingtheirbacksandheartsatheavingupanchorinfortyfathoms，theyknockedoffgaspingandtremblingattheendofhalfanhourandhadnewlifeputintothembystiffjoltsofrum。Theycaughttheirbreaths，wipedtheirmouths，andwenttoitagainwithawill。AndwhenwecareenedtheSnarkandhadtoworkinthewatertoournecksbetweenshocksoffever，Inotedhowrawtraderumhelpedtheworkalong。
Andhereagainwecometoanothersideofmany-sidedJohnBarleycorn。Onthefaceofit，hegivessomethingfornothing。
Wherenostrengthremainshefindsnewstrength。Theweariedonerisestogreatereffort。Forthetimebeingthereisanactualaccessionofstrength。Irememberpassingcoalonanoceansteamerthrougheightdaysofhell，duringwhichtimewecoal-
passerswerekepttothejobbybeingfedwithwhisky。Wetoiledhalfdrunkallthetime。Andwithoutthewhiskywecouldnothavepassedthecoal。
ThisstrengthJohnBarleycorngivesisnotfictitiousstrength。
Itisrealstrength。Butitismanufacturedoutofthesourcesofstrength，anditmustultimatelybepaidfor，andwithinterest。
Butwhatwearyhumanwilllooksofarahead？Hetakesthisapparentlymiraculousaccessionofstrengthatitsfacevalue。
Andmanyanoverworkedbusinessandprofessionalman，aswellasaharriedcommonlabourer，hastravelledJohnBarleycorn’sdeathroadbecauseofthismistake。
CHAPTERXXXIII
IwenttoAustraliatogointohospitalandgettinkeredup，afterwhichIplannedtogoonwiththevoyage。AndduringthelongweeksIlayinhospital，fromthefirstdayInevermissedalcohol。Ineverthoughtaboutit。IknewIshouldhaveitagainwhenIwasonmyfeet。ButwhenIregainedmyfeetIwasnotcuredofmymajorafflictions。Naaman’ssilveryskinwasstillmine。Themysterioussun-sickness，whichtheexpertsofAustraliacouldnotfathom，stillrippedandtoremytissues。Malariastillfesteredinmeandputmeonmybackinshiveringdeliriumatthemostunexpectedmoments，compellingmetocanceladoublelecturetourwhichhadbeenarranged。
SoIabandonedtheSnarkvoyageandsoughtacoolerclimate。ThedayIcameoutofhospitalItookupdrinkingagainasamatterofcourse。Idrankwineatmeals。Idrankcocktailsbeforemeals。
IdrankScotchhighballswhenanybodyIchancedtobewithwasdrinkingthem。IwassothoroughlythemasterofJohnBarleycornIcouldtakeupwithhimorletgoofhimwheneverIpleased，justasIhaddoneallmylife。
Afteratime，forcoolerclimate，IwentdowntosouthermostTasmaniainforty-threeSouth。AndIfoundmyselfinaplacewheretherewasnothingtodrink。Itdidn’tmeananything。I
didn’tdrink。Itwasnohardship。Isoakedinthecoolair，rodehorseback，anddidmythousandwordsadaysavewhenthefevershockcameinthemorning。
Andforfearthattheideamaystilllurkinsomemindsthatmyprecedingyearsofdrinkingwerethecauseofmydisabilities，I
herepointoutthatmyJapanesecabinboy，Nakata，stillwithme，wasrottenwithfever，aswasCharmian，whoinadditionwasinthesloughofatropicalneurastheniathatrequiredseveralyearsoftemperateclimatestocure，andthatneithershenorNakatadrankoreverhaddrunk。
WhenIreturnedtoHobartTown，wheredrinkwasobtainable，I
drankasofold。ThesamewhenIarrivedbackinAustralia。Onthecontrary，whenIsailedfromAustraliaonatrampsteamercommandedbyanabstemiouscaptain，Itooknodrinkalong，andhadnodrinkfortheforty-threedays’passage。ArrivedinEcuador，squarelyundertheequatorialsun，wherethehumansweredyingofyellowfever，smallpox，andtheplague，Ipromptlydrankagain——
everydrinkofeverysortthathadakickinit。Icaughtnoneofthesediseases。NeitherdidCharmiannorNakatawhodidnotdrink。
Enamouredofthetropics，despitethedamagedoneme，Istoppedinvariousplaces，andwasalongwhilegettingbacktothesplendid，temperateclimateofCalifornia。Ididmythousandwordsaday，travellingorstoppingover，sufferedmylastfaintfevershock，sawmysilveryskinvanishandmysun-torntissueshealthilyknitagain，anddrankasabroad-shoulderedchestymanmaydrink。
CHAPTERXXXIV
Backontheranch，intheValleyoftheMoon，Iresumedmysteadydrinking。Myprogrammewasnodrinkinthemorning；firstdrink-
timecamewiththecompletionofmythousandwords。Then，betweenthatandthemiddaymeal，weredrinksnumerousenoughtodevelopapleasantjingle。Again，inthehourprecedingtheeveningmeal，I
developedanotherpleasantjingle。Nobodyeversawmedrunk，forthesimplereasonthatIneverwasdrunk。ButIdidgetajingletwiceeachday；andtheamountofalcoholIconsumedeveryday，ifloosedinthesystemofoneunaccustomedtodrink，wouldhaveputsuchaoneonhisbackandout。
Itwastheoldproposition。ThemoreIdrank，themoreIwascompelledtodrinkinordertogetaneffect。Thetimecamewhencocktailswereinadequate。Ihadneitherthetimeinwhichtodrinkthemnorthespacetoaccommodatethem。Whiskyhadamorepowerfuljolt。Itgavequickeractionwithlessquantity。
Bourbonorrye，orcunninglyagedblends，constitutedthepre-
middaydrinking。InthelateafternoonitwasScotchandsoda。
Mysleep，alwaysexcellent，nowbecamenotquitesoexcellent。I
hadbeenaccustomedtoreadmyselfbackasleepwhenIchancedtoawake。Butnowthisbegantofailme。WhenIhadreadtwoorthreeofthesmallhoursawayandwasaswideawakeasever，I
foundthatadrinkfurnishedthesoporificeffect。Sometimestwoorthreedrinkswererequired。
Soshortaperiodofsleepthenintervenedbeforeearlymorningrisingthatmysystemdidnothavetimetoworkoffthealcohol。
AsaresultIawokewithmouthparchedanddry，withaslightheavinessofhead，andwithamildnervouspalpitationinthestomach。InfactIdidnotfeelgood。Iwassufferingfromthemorningsicknessofthesteady，heavydrinker。WhatIneededwasapick-me-up，abracer。TrustJohnBarleycorn，oncehehasbrokendownaman’sdefences！Soitwasadrinkbeforebreakfasttoputmerightforbreakfast——theoldpoisonofthesnakethathasbittenone！Anothercustombegunatthistimewasthatofthepitcherofwaterbythebedsidetofurnishrelieftomyscorchedandsizzlingmembranes。
Iachievedaconditioninwhichmybodywasneverfreefromalcohol。NordidIpermitmyselftobeawayfromalcohol。IfI
travelledtoout-of-the-wayplaces，Ideclinedtoruntheriskoffindingthemdry。Itookaquart，orseveralquarts，alonginmygrip。InthepastIhadbeenamazedbyothermenguiltyofthispractice。NowIdiditmyselfunblushingly。AndwhenIgotoutwiththefellows，Icastallrulesbytheboard。Idrankwhentheydrank，whattheydrank，andinthesamewaytheydrank。
Iwascarryingabeautifulalcoholicconflagrationaroundwithme。
Thethingfedonitsownheatandflamedthefiercer。Therewasnotime，inallmywakingtime，thatIdidn’twantadrink。I
begantoanticipatethecompletionofmydailythousandwordsbytakingadrinkwhenonlyfivehundredwordswerewritten。ItwasnotlonguntilIprefacedthebeginningofthethousandwordswithadrink。
ThegravityofthisIrealisedtoowell。Imadenewrules。
ResolutelyIwouldrefrainfromdrinkinguntilmyworkwasdone。
Butanewandmostdiabolicalcomplicationarose。Theworkrefusedtobedonewithoutdrinking。Itjustcouldn’tbedone。I
hadtodrinkinordertodoit。Iwasbeginningtofightnow。I
hadthecravingatlast，anditwasmasteringme。Iwouldsitatmydeskanddallywithpadandpen，butwordsrefusedtoflow。MybraincouldnotthinktheproperthoughtsbecausecontinuallyitwasobsessedwiththeonethoughtthatacrosstheroomintheliquorcabinetstoodJohnBarleycorn。When，indespair，Itookmydrink，atoncemybrainloosenedupandbegantorolloffthethousandwords。
Inmytownhouse，inOakland，Ifinishedthestockofliquorandwilfullyrefusedtopurchasemore。Itwasnouse，because，unfortunately，thereremainedinthebottomoftheliquorcabinetacaseofbeer。InvainItriedtowrite。Nowbeerisapoorsubstituteforstrongwaters：besides，Ididn’tlikebeer，yetallIcouldthinkofwasthatbeersosingularlyaccessibleinthebottomofthecabinet。NotuntilIhaddrunkapintofitdidthewordsbegintoreeloff，andthethousandwerereeledofftothetuneofnumerouspints。Theworstofitwasthatthebeercausedmesevereheart-burn；butdespitethediscomfortIsoonfinishedoffthecase。
Theliquorcabinetwasnowbare。Ididnotreplenishit。BytrulyheroicperseveranceIfinallyforcedmyselftowritethedailythousandwordswithoutthespurofJohnBarleycorn。ButallthetimeIwroteIwaskeenlyawareofthecravingforadrink。
Andassoonasthemorning’sworkwasdone，Iwasoutofthehouseandawaydown-towntogetmyfirstdrink。Mercifulgoodness！——ifJohnBarleycorncouldgetsuchswayoverme，anon-alcoholic，whatmustbethesufferingsofthetruealcoholic，battlingagainsttheorganicdemandsofhischemistrywhilethoseclosesttohimsympathiselittle，understandless，anddespiseandderidehim！
CHAPTERXXXV
Butthefreighthastobepaid。JohnBarleycornbegantocollect，andhecollectednotsomuchfromthebodyasfromthemind。Theoldlongsickness，whichhadbeenpurelyanintellectualsickness，recrudesced。Theoldghosts，longlaid，liftedtheirheadsagain。
Buttheyweredifferentandmoredeadlyghosts。Theoldghosts，intellectualintheirinception，hadbeenlaidbyasaneandnormallogic。ButnowtheywereraisedbytheWhiteLogicofJohnBarleycorn，andJohnBarleycornneverlaystheghostsofhisraising。Forthissicknessofpessimism，causedbydrink，onemustdrinkfurtherinquestoftheanodynethatJohnBarleycornpromisesbutneverdelivers。
HowtodescribethisWhiteLogictothosewhohaveneverexperiencedit！Itisperhapsbetterfirsttostatehowimpossiblesuchadescriptionis。TakeHasheeshLand，forinstance，thelandofenormousextensionsoftimeandspace。InpastyearsIhavemadetwomemorablejourneysintothatfarland。Myadventurestherearesearedinsharpestdetailonmybrain。YetIhavetriedvainly，withendlesswords，todescribeanytinyparticularphasetopersonswhohavenottravelledthere。
Iuseallthehyperboleofmetaphor，andtellwhatcenturiesoftimeandprofoundsofunthinkableagonyandhorrorcanobtainineachintervalofalltheintervalsbetweenthenotesofaquickjigplayedquicklyonthepiano。Italkforanhour，elaboratingthatonephaseofHasheeshLand，andattheendIhavetoldthemnothing。AndwhenIcannottellthemthisonethingofallthevastnessofterribleandwonderfulthings，IknowIhavefailedtogivethemtheslightestconceptofHasheeshLand。
Butletmetalkwithsomeothertravellerinthatweirdregion，andatonceamIunderstood。Aphrase，aword，conveysinstantlytohismindwhathoursofwordsandphrasescouldnotconveytothemindofthenon-traveller。SoitiswithJohnBarleycorn’srealmwheretheWhiteLogicreigns。Tothoseuntravelledthere，thetraveller’saccountmustalwaysseemunintelligibleandfantastic。Atthebest，ImayonlybegoftheuntravelledonestostrivetotakeonfaiththenarrativeIshallrelate。
Fortherearefatalintuitionsoftruththatresideinalcohol。
PhilipsobervouchesforPhilipdrunkinthismatter。Thereseemtobevariousordersoftruthinthisworld。Somesortsoftrutharetruerthanothers。Somesortsoftrutharelies，andthesesortsaretheveryonesthathavethegreatestuse-valuetolifethatdesirestorealiseandlive。Atonce，Ountravelledreader，youseehowlunaticandblasphemousistherealmIamtryingtodescribetoyouinthelanguageofJohnBarleycorn’stribe。Itisnotthelanguageofyourtribe，allofwhosemembersresolutelyshuntheroadsthatleadtodeathandtreadonlytheroadsthatleadtolife。Forthereareroadsandroads，andoftruththereareordersandorders。Buthavepatience。Atleast，throughwhatseemsnomorethanverbalyammerings，youmay，perchance，glimpsefaintfarvistasofotherlandsandtribes。
Alcoholtellstruth，butitstruthisnotnormal。Whatisnormalishealthful。Whatishealthfultendstowardlife。Normaltruthisadifferentorder，andalesserorder，oftruth。Takeadrayhorse。Throughallthevicissitudesofitslife，fromfirsttolast，somehow，inunguessablydimways，itmustbelievethatlifeisgood；thatthedrudgeryinharnessisgood；thatdeath，nomatterhowblind-instinctivelyapprehended，isadreadgiant；thatlifeisbeneficentandworthwhile；that，intheend，withfadinglife，itwillnotbeknockedaboutandbeatenandurgedbeyonditssprainedandspavinedbest；thatoldage，even，isdecent，dignified，andvaluable，thougholdagemeansaribbyscare-crowinahawker’scart，stumblingasteptoeveryblow，stumblingdizzilyonthroughmercilessservitudeandslowdisintegrationtotheend——theend，theapportionmentofitsparts（ofitssubtleflesh，itspinkandspringybone，itsjuicesandferments，andallthesensatenessthatinformedit）tothechickenfarm，thehide-
house，theglue-renderingworks，andthebone-mealfertiliserfactory。Tothelaststumbleofitsstumblingendthisdrayhorsemustabidebythemandatesofthelessertruththatisthetruthoflifeandthatmakeslifepossibletopersist。
Thisdrayhorse，likeallotherhorses，likeallotheranimals，includingman，islife-blindedandsense-struck。Itwilllive，nomatterwhattheprice。Thegameoflifeisgood，thoughalloflifemaybehurt，andthoughallliveslosethegameintheend。
Thisistheorderoftruththatobtains，notfortheuniverse，butforthelivethingsinitiftheyforalittlespacewillendureeretheypass。Thisorderoftruth，nomatterhowerroneousitmaybe，isthesaneandnormalorderoftruth，therationalorder&ftruththatlifemustbelieveinordertolive。
Toman，aloneamongtheanimals，hasbeengiventheawfulprivilegeofreason。Man，withhisbrain，canpenetratetheintoxicatingshowofthingsandlookupontheuniversebrazenwithindifferencetowardhimandhisdreams。Hecandothis，butitisnotwellforhimtodoit。Tolive，andliveabundantly，tostingwithlife，tobealive（whichistobewhatheis），itisgoodthatmanbelife-blindedandsense-struck。Whatisgoodistrue。
Andthisistheorderoftruth，lesserthoughitbe，thatmanmustknowandguidehisactionsbywithunswervingcertitudethatitisabsolutetruthandthatintheuniversenootherorderoftruthcanobtain。Itisgoodthatmanshouldacceptatfacevaluethecheatsofsenseandsnaresoffleshandthroughthefogsofsentiencypursuetheluresandliesofpassion。Itisgoodthatheshallseeneithershadowsnorfutilities，norbeappalledbyhislustsandrapacities。
Andmandoesthis。Countlessmenhaveglimpsedthatotherandtruerorderoftruthandrecoiledfromit。Countlessmenhavepassedthroughthelongsicknessandlivedtotellofitanddeliberatelytoforgetittotheendoftheirdays。Theylived。
Theyrealisedlife，forlifeiswhattheywere。Theydidright。
AndnowcomesJohnBarleycornwiththecursehelaysupontheimaginativemanwhoislustywithlifeanddesiretolive。JohnBarleycornsendshisWhiteLogic，theargentmessengeroftruthbeyondtruth，theantithesisoflife，cruelandbleakasinterstellarspace，pulselessandfrozenasabsolutezero，dazzlingwiththefrostofirrefragablelogicandunforgettablefact。JohnBarleycornwillnotletthedreamerdream，theliverlive。Hedestroysbirthanddeath，anddissipatestomisttheparadoxofbeing，untilhisvictimcriesout，asin\"TheCityofDreadfulNight\"：\"Ourlife’sacheat，ourdeathablackabyss。\"
Andthefeetofthevictimofsuchdreadfulintimacytakeholdofthewayofdeath。
CHAPTERXXXVI
BacktopersonalexperiencesandtheeffectsinthepastofJohnBarleycorn’sWhiteLogiconme。OnmylovelyranchintheValleyoftheMoon，brain-soakedwithmanymonthsofalcohol，Iamoppressedbythecosmicsadnessthathasalwaysbeentheheritageofman。InvaindoIaskmyselfwhyIshouldbesad。Mynightsarewarm。Myroofdoesnotleak。Ihavefoodgaloreforallthecapricesofappetite。Everycreaturecomfortismine。Inmybodyarenoachesnorpains。Thegoodoldflesh-machineisrunningsmoothlyon。Neitherbrainnormuscleisoverworked。Ihaveland，money，power，recognitionfromtheworld，aconsciousnessthatIdomymeedofgoodinservingothers，amatewhomIlove，childrenthatareofmyownfondflesh。Ihavedone，andamdoing，whatagoodcitizenoftheworldshoulddo。Ihavebuilthouses，manyhouses，andtilledmanyahundredacres。Andasfortrees，haveInotplantedahundredthousand？Everywhere，fromanywindowofmyhouse，Icangazeforthuponthesetreesofmyplanting，standingvaliantlyerectandaspiringtowardthesun。
Mylifehasindeedfalleninpleasantplaces。NotahundredmeninamillionhavebeensoluckyasI。Yet，withallthisvastgoodfortune，amIsad。AndIamsadbecauseJohnBarleycorniswithme。AndJohnBarleycorniswithmebecauseIwasborninwhatfutureageswillcallthedarkagesbeforetheagesofrationalcivilisation。JohnBarleycorniswithmebecauseinalltheunwittingdaysofmyyouthJohnBarleycornwasaccessible，callingtomeandinvitingmeoneverycornerandoneverystreetbetweenthecorners。Thepseudo-civilisationintowhichIwasbornpermittedeverywherelicensedshopsforthesaleofsoul-
poison。ThesystemoflifewassoorganisedthatI（andmillionslikeme）wasluredanddrawnanddriventothepoisonshops。
WanderwithmethroughonemoodofthemyriadmoodsofsadnessintowhichoneisplungedbyJohnBarleycorn。Irideoutovermybeautifulranch。Betweenmylegsisabeautifulhorse。Theairiswine。Thegrapesonascoreofrollinghillsareredwithautumnflame。AcrossSonomaMountainwispsofseafogarestealing。Theafternoonsunsmouldersinthedrowsysky。IhaveeverythingtomakemegladIamalive。Iamfilledwithdreamsandmysteries。Iamallsunandairandsparkle。Iamvitalised，organic。Imove，Ihavethepowerofmovement，IcommandmovementofthelivethingIbestride。Iampossessedwiththepompsofbeing，andknowproudpassionsandinspirations。Ihavetenthousandaugustconnotations。Iamakinginthekingdomofsense，andtramplethefaceoftheuncomplainingdust……
Andyet，withjaundicedeyeIgazeuponallthebeautyandwonderaboutme，andwithjaundicedbrainconsiderthepitifulfigureI
cutinthisworldthatenduredsolongwithoutmeandthatwillagainendurewithoutme。Irememberthemenwhobroketheirheartsandtheirbacksoverthisstubbornsoilthatnowbelongstome。Asifanythingimperishablecouldbelongtotheperishable！
Thesemenpassed。I，too，shallpass。Thesementoiled，andcleared，andplanted，gazedwithachingeyes，whiletheyrestedtheirlabour-stiffenedbodiesonthesesamesunrisesandsunsets，attheautumngloryofthegrape，andatthefog-wispsstealingacrossthemountain。Andtheyaregone。AndIknowthatI，too，shallsomeday，andsoon，begone。
Gone？Iamgoingnow。Inmyjawarecunningartificesofthedentistswhichreplacethepartsofmealreadygone。NeveragainwillIhavethethumbsofmyyouth。Oldfightsandwrestlingshaveinjuredthemirreparably。Thatpunchontheheadofamanwhoseverynameisforgottensettledthisthumbfinallyandforever。Aslip-gripatcatch-as-catch-candidfortheother。Myleanrunner’sstomachhaspassedintothelimboofmemory。Thejointsofthelegsthatbearmeuparenotsoadequateastheyoncewere，when，inwildnightsanddaysoftoilandfrolic，I
strainedandsnappedandrupturedthem。NeveragaincanIswingdizzilyaloftandtrustalltheproudquickthatisItoasinglerope-clutchinthedrivingblacknessofstorm。NeveragaincanI
runwiththesled-dogsalongtheendlessmilesofArctictrail。
IamawarethatwithinthisdisintegratingbodywhichhasbeendyingsinceIwasbornIcarryaskeleton，thatundertherindoffleshwhichiscalledmyfaceisabony，noselessdeath’shead。
Allofwhichdoesnotshudderme。Tobeafraidistobehealthy。
Fearofdeathmakesforlife。ButthecurseoftheWhiteLogicisthatitdoesnotmakeoneafraid。Theworld-sicknessoftheWhiteLogicmakesonegrinjocoselyintothefaceoftheNoselessOneandtosneeratallthephantasmagoriaofliving。
IlookaboutmeasIrideandoneveryhandIseethemercilessandinfinitewasteofnaturalselection。TheWhiteLogicinsistsuponopeningthelong-closedbooks，andbyparagraphandchapterstatesthebeautyandwonderIbeholdintermsoffutilityanddust。Aboutmeismurmurandhum，andIknowitforthegnat-
swarmoftheliving，pipingforalittlespaceitsthinplaintoftroubledair。
Ireturnacrosstheranch。Twilightison，andthehuntinganimalsareout。Iwatchthepiteoustragicplayoflifefeedingonlife。Hereisnomorality。Onlyinmanismorality，andmancreatedit——acodeofactionthatmakestowardlivingandthatisofthelesserorderoftruth。YetallthisIknewbefore，inthewearydaysofmylongsickness。ThesewerethegreatertruthsthatIsosuccessfullyschooledmyselftoforget；thetruthsthatweresoseriousthatIrefusedtotakethemseriously，andplayedwithgently，oh！sogently，assleepingdogsatthebackofconsciousnesswhichIdidnotcaretowaken。Ididbutstirthem，andletthemlie。Iwastoowise，toowickedwise，towakethem。
ButnowWhiteLogicwilly-nillywakesthemforme，forWhiteLogic，mostvaliant，isunafraidofallthemonstersoftheearthlydream。
\"Letthedoctorsofalltheschoolscondemnme，\"WhiteLogicwhispersasIridealong。\"Whatofit？Iamtruth。Youknowit。
Youcannotcombatme。TheysayImakefordeath。Whatofit？Itistruth。Lifeliesinordertolive。Lifeisaperpetuallie-
tellingprocess。Lifeisamaddanceinthedomainofflux，whereinappearancesinmightytidesebbandflow，chainedtothewheelsofmoonsbeyondourken。Appearancesareghosts。Lifeisghostland，whereappearanceschange，transfuse，permeateeachtheotherandalltheothers，thatare，thatarenot，thatalwaysflicker，fade，andpass，onlytocomeagainasnewappearances，asotherappearances。Youaresuchanappearance，composedofcountlessappearancesoutofthepast。Allanappearancecanknowismirage。Youknowmiragesofdesire。Theseverymiragesaretheunthinkableandincalculablecongeriesofappearancesthatcrowdinuponyouandformyououtofthepast，andthatsweepyouonintodisseminationintootherunthinkableandincalculablecongeriesofappearancestopeopletheghostlandofthefuture。
Lifeisapparitional，andpasses。Youareanapparition。Throughalltheapparitionsthatprecededyouandthatcomposethepartsofyou，yourosegibberingfromtheevolutionarymire，andgibberingyouwillpasson，interfusing，permeatingtheprocessionofapparitionsthatwillsucceedyou。\"
Andofcourseitisallunanswerable，andasIridealongthroughtheeveningshadowsIsneeratthatGreatFetishwhichComtecalledtheworld。AndIrememberwhatanotherpessimistofsentiencyhasuttered：\"Transientareall。They，beingborn，mustdie，and，beingdead，aregladtobeatrest。\"
Butherethroughtheduskcomesonewhoisnotgladtobeatrest。
Heisaworkmanontheranch，anoldman，animmigrantItalian。
Hetakeshishatofftomeinallservility，because，forsooth，I
amtohimalordoflife。Iamfoodtohim，andshelter，andexistence。Hehastoiledlikeabeastallhisdays，andlivedlesscomfortablythanmyhorsesintheirdeep-strawedstalls。Heislabour-crippled。Heshamblesashewalks。Oneshoulderistwistedhigherthantheother。Hishandsaregnarledclaws，repulsive，horrible。Asanapparitionheisaprettymiserablespecimen。Hisbrainisasstupidashisbodyisugly。
\"Hisbrainissostupidthathedoesnotknowheisanapparition，\"theWhiteLogicchucklestome。\"Heissense-drunk。
Heistheslaveofthedreamoflife。Hisbrainisfilledwithsuperrationalsanctionsandobsessions。Hebelievesinatranscendentover-world。Hehaslistenedtothevagariesoftheprophets，whohavegiventohimthesumptuousbubbleofParadise。
Hefeelsinarticulateself-affinities，withself-conjurednon-
realities。Heseespenumbralvisionsofhimselftitubatingfantasticallythroughdaysandnightsofspaceandstars。Beyondtheshadowofanydoubtheisconvincedthattheuniversewasmadeforhim，andthatitishisdestinytoliveforeverintheimmaterialandsupersensuousrealmsheandhiskindhavebuildedofthestuffofsemblanceanddeception。
\"Butyou，whohaveopenedthebooksandwhosharemyawfulconfidence——youknowhimforwhatheis，brothertoyouandthedust，acosmicjoke，asportofchemistry，agarmentedbeastthataroseoutoftheruckofscreamingbeastlinessbyvirtueandaccidentoftwoopposablegreattoes。Heisbrotheraswelltothegorillaandthechimpanzee。Hethumpshischestinanger，androarsandquiverswithcatalepticferocity。Heknowsmonstrous，atavisticpromptings，andheiscomposedofallmannerofshredsofabysmalandforgotteninstincts。\"
\"Yethedreamsheisimmortal，\"Iarguefeebly。\"Itisvastlywonderfulforsostupidaclodtobestridetheshouldersoftimeandridetheeternities。\"
\"Pah！\"istheretort。\"Wouldyouthenshutthebooksandexchangeplaceswiththisthingthatisonlyanappetiteandadesire，amarionetteofthebellyandtheloins？\"
\"Tobestupidistobehappy，\"Icontend。
\"Thenyouridealofhappinessisajelly-likeorganismfloatinginatideless，tepidtwilightsea，eh？\"
Oh，thevictimcannotcombatJohnBarleycorn！
\"OnestepremovedfromtheannihilatingblissofBuddha’sNirvana，\"theWhiteLogicadds。\"Ohwell，here’sthehouse。
Cheerupandtakeadrink。Weknow，weilluminated，youandI，allthefollyandthefarce。\"
Andinmybook-walledden，themausoleumofthethoughtsofmen，I
takemydrink，andotherdrinks，androustoutthesleepingdogsfromtherecessesofmybrainandhallothemonoverthewallsofprejudiceandlawandthroughallthecunninglabyrinthsofsuperstitionandbelief。
\"Drink，\"saystheWhiteLogic。\"TheGreeksbelievedthatthegodsgavethemwinesothattheymightforgetthemiserablenessofexistence。AndrememberwhatHeinesaid。\"
WelldoIrememberthatflamingJew’s\"Withthelastbreathallisdone：joy，love，sorrow，macaroni，thetheatre，lime-trees，raspberrydrops，thepowerofhumanrelations，gossip，thebarkingofdogs，champagne。\"
\"Yourclearwhitelightissickness，\"ItelltheWhiteLogic。
\"Youlie。\"
\"Bytellingtoostrongatruth，\"hequipsback。
\"Alas，yes，sotopsy-turvyisexistence，\"Iacknowledgesadly。
\"Ah，well，LiuLingwaswiserthanyou，\"theWhiteLogicgirds。
\"Yourememberhim？\"
Inodmyhead——LiuLing，aharddrinker，oneofthegroupofbibulouspoetswhocalledthemselvestheSevenSagesoftheBambooGroveandwholivedinChinamanyanancientcenturyago。
\"ItwasLiuLing，\"promptstheWhiteLogic，\"whodeclaredthattoadrunkenmantheaffairsofthisworldappearbutassomuchduckweedonariver。Verywell。HaveanotherScotch，andletsemblanceanddeceptionbecomeduck-weedonariver。\"
AndwhileIpourandsipmyScotch，IrememberanotherChinesephilosopher，ChuangTzu，who，fourcenturiesbeforeChrist，challengedthisdreamlandoftheworld，saying：\"HowthendoI
knowbutthatthedeadrepentofhavingpreviouslyclungtolife？
Thosewhodreamofthebanquet，waketolamentationandsorrow。
Thosewhodreamoflamentationandsorrow，waketojointhehunt。
Whiletheydream，theydonotknowthattheydream。Somewilleveninterprettheverydreamtheyaredreaming；andonlywhentheyawakedotheyknowitwasadream……Foolsthinktheyareawakenow，andflatterthemselvestheyknowiftheyarereallyprincesorpeasants。Confuciusandyouarebothdreams；andIwhosayyouaredreams——Iambutadreammyself。
\"Onceuponatime，I，ChuangTzu，dreamtIwasabutterfly，flutteringhitherandthither，toallintentsandpurposesabutterfly。Iwasconsciousonlyoffollowingmyfanciesasabutterfly，andwasunconsciousofmyindividualityasaman。
Suddenly，Iawaked，andthereIlay，myselfagain。NowIdonotknowwhetherIwasthenamandreamingIwasabutterfly，orwhetherIamnowabutterflydreamingIamaman。\"
CHAPTERXXXVII
\"Come，\"saystheWhiteLogic，\"andforgettheseAsiandreamersofoldtime。Fillyourglassandletuslookattheparchmentsofthedreamersofyesterdaywhodreamedtheirdreamsonyourownwarmhills。\"
IporeovertheabstractoftitleofthevineyardcalledTokayontheranchocalledPetaluma。Itisasadlonglistofthenamesofmen，beginningwithManuelMicheltoreno，onetimeMexican\"Governor，Commander-in-Chief，andInspectoroftheDepartmentoftheCalifornias，\"whodeededtensquareleaguesofstolenIndianlandtoColonelDonMarianoGuadalupeVallejoforservicesrenderedhiscountryandformoneyspaidbyhimfortenyearstohissoldiers。
Immediatelythismustyrecordofman’slandlustassumestheformidablenessofabattle——thequickstrugglingwiththedust。
Therearedeedsoftrust，mortgages，certificatesofrelease，transfers，judgments，foreclosures，writsofattachment，ordersofsale，taxliens，petitionsforlettersofadministration，anddecreesofdistribution。Itislikeamonstereverunsubdued，thisstubbornlandthatdrowsesinthisIndiansummerweatherandthatsurvivesthemall，themenwhoscratcheditssurfaceandpassed。
WhowasthisJamesKingofWilliam，socuriouslynamed？TheoldestsurvivingsettlerintheValleyoftheMoonknowshimnot。YetonlysixtyyearsagoheloanedMarianoG。VallejoeighteenthousanddollarsonsecurityofcertainlandsincludingthevineyardyettobeandtobecalledTokay。WhencecamePeterO’Connor，andwhithervanished，afterwritinghislittlenameofadayonthewoodlandthatwastobecomeavineyard？AppearsLouisCsomortanyi，anametoconjurewith。Helaststhroughseveralpagesofthisrecordoftheenduringsoil。
ComesoldAmericanstock，thirstingacrosstheGreatAmericanDesert，mule-backingacrosstheIsthmus，wind-jammingaroundtheHorn，towritebriefandforgottennameswheretenthousandgenerationsofwildIndiansareequallyforgotten——nameslikeHalleck，Hastings，Swett，Tait，Denman，Tracy，Grimwood，Carlton，Temple。Therearenonameslikethoseto-dayintheValleyoftheMoon。
Thenamesbegintoappearfastandfuriously，flashingfromlegalpagetolegalpageandinaflashvanishing。Buteverthepersistentsoilremainsforotherstoscrawlthemselvesacross。
ComethenamesofmenofwhomIhavevaguelyheardbutwhomIhaveneverknown。KohlerandFrohling——whobuiltthegreatstonewineryonthevineyardcalledTokay，butwhobuiltuponahillupwhichothervineyardistsrefusedtohaultheirgrapes。SoKohlerandFrohlinglosttheland；theearthquakeof1906threwdownthewinery；andInowliveinitsruins。
LaMotte——hebrokethesoil，plantedvinesandorchards，institutedcommercialfishculture，builtamansionrenownedinitsday，wasdefeatedbythesoil，andpassed。Andmynameofadayappears。Onthesiteofhisorchardsandvine-yards，ofhisproudmansion，ofhisveryfishponds，Ihavescrawledmyselfwithhalfahundredthousandeucalyptustrees。
CooperandGreenlaw——onwhatiscalledtheHillRanchtheylefttwooftheirdead，\"LittleLillie\"and\"LittleDavid，\"whorestto-dayinsideatinysquareofhand-hewnpalings。Also，GooperandGreenlawintheirtimeclearedthevirginforestfromthreefieldsoffortyacres。To-dayIhavethosethreefieldssownwithCanadapeas，andinthespringtheyshallbeploughedunderforgreenmanure。
Haska——adimlegendaryfigureofagenerationago，whowentbackupthemountainandclearedsixacresofbrushinthetinyvalleythattookhisname。Hebrokethesoil，rearedstonewallsandahouse，andplantedappletrees。Andalreadythesiteofthehouseisundiscoverable，thelocationofthestonewallsmaybededucedfromtheconfigurationofthelandscape，andIamrenewingthebattle，puttinginangoragoatstobrowseawaythebrushthathasoverrunHaska’sclearingandchokedHaska’sappletreestodeath。
SoI，too，scratchthelandwithmybriefendeavourandflashmynameacrossapageoflegalscriptereIpassandthepagegrowsmusty。
\"Dreamersandghosts，\"theWhiteLogicchuckles。
\"Butsurelythestrivingwasnotaltogethervain，\"Icontend。
\"Itwasbasedonillusionandisalie。\"
\"Avitallie，\"Iretort。
\"Andpraywhatisavitalliebutalie？\"theWhiteLogicchallenges。\"Come。Fillyourglassandletusexaminethesevitalliarswhocrowdyourbookshelves。LetusdabbleinWilliamJamesabit。\"
\"Amanofhealth，\"Isay。\"Fromhimwemayexpectnophilosopher’sstone，butatleastwewillfindafewrobusttonicthingstowhichtotie。\"
\"Rationalitygeldedtosentiment，\"theWhiteLogicgrins。\"Attheendofallhisthinkinghestillclungtothesentimentofimmortality。Factstransmutedinthealembicofhopeintotermsoffaith。Theripestfruitofreasonthestultificationofreason。FromthetopmostpeakofreasonJamesteachestoceasereasoningandtohavefaiththatalliswellandwillbewell——theold，oh，ancientold，acrobaticflipofthemetaphysicianswherebytheyreasonedreasonquiteawayinordertoescapethepessimismconsequentuponthegrimandhonestexerciseofreason。
\"Isthisfleshofyoursyou？Orisitanextraneoussomethingpossessedbyyou？Yourbody——whatisit？Amachineforconvertingstimuliintoreactions。Stimuliandreactionsareremembered。
Theyconstituteexperience。Thenyouareinyourconsciousnesstheseexperiences。Youareatanymomentwhatyouarethinkingatthatmoment。YourIisbothsubjectandobject；itpredicatesthingsofitselfandisthethingspredicated。Thethinkeristhethought，theknoweriswhatisknown，thepossessoristhethingspossessed。
\"Afterall，asyouknowwell，manisafluxofstatesofconsciousness，aflowofpassingthoughts，eachthoughtofselfanotherself，amyriadthoughts，amyriadselves，acontinualbecomingbutneverbeing，awill-of-the-wispflittingofghostsinghostland。Butthis，manwillnotacceptofhimself。Herefusestoaccepthisownpassing。Hewillnotpass。Hewillliveagainifhehastodietodoit。
\"Heshufflesatomsandjetsoflight，remotestnebulae，dripsofwater，prick-pointsofsensation，slime-oozingsandcosmicbulks，allmixedwithpearlsoffaith，loveofwoman，imagineddignities，frightenedsurmises，andpompousarrogances，andofthestuffbuildshimselfanimmortalitytostartletheheavensandbaffletheimmensities。Hesquirmsonhisdunghill，andlikeachildlostinthedarkamonggoblins，callstothegodsthatheistheiryoungerbrother，aprisonerofthequickthatisdestinedtobeasfreeasthey——monumentsofegotismrearedbytheepiphenomena；
dreamsandthedustofdreams，thatvanishwhenthedreamervanishesandarenomorewhenheisnot。
\"Itisnothingnew，thesevitalliesmentellthemselves，mutteringandmumblingthemlikecharmsandincantationsagainstthepowersofNight。Thevoodoosandmedicinemenandthedevil-
devildoctorswerethefathersofmetaphysics。NightandtheNoselessOnewereogresthatbesetthewayoflightandlife。Andthemetaphysicianswouldwinbyiftheyhadtotellliestodoit。
TheywerevexedbythebrazenlawoftheEcclesiastthatmendielikethebeastsofthefieldandtheirendisthesame。Theircreedsweretheirschemes，theirreligionstheirnostrums，theirphilosophiestheirdevices，bywhichtheyhalf-believedtheywouldoutwittheNoselessOneandtheNight。
\"Bog-lights，vapoursofmysticism，psychicovertones，soulorgies，wailingsamongtheshadows，weirdgnosticisms，veilsandtissuesofwords，gibberingsubjectivisms，gropingsandmaunderings，ontologicalfantasies，pan-psychichallucinations——thisisthestuff，thephantasmsofhope，thatfillsyourbookshelves。Lookatthem，allthesadwraithsofsadmadmenandpassionaterebels——
yourSchopenhauers，yourStrindbergs，yourTolstoisandNietzsches。
\"Come。Yourglassisempty。Fillandforget。\"
Iobey，formybrainisnowwella-crawlwiththemaggotsofalcohol，andasIdrinktothesadthinkersonmyshelvesIquoteRichardHovey：
\"Abstainnot！LifeandLovelikenightanddayOfferthemselvestousontheirownterms，Notours。Accepttheirbountywhileyemay，Beforewebeacceptedbytheworms，\"
\"Iwillcapyou，\"criestheWhiteLogic。
\"No，\"Ianswer，whilethemaggotsmaddenme。\"Iknowyouforwhatyouare，andIamunafraid。UnderyourmaskofhedonismyouareyourselftheNoselessOneandyourwayleadstotheNight。
Hedonismhasnomeaning。It，too，isalie，atbestthecoward’ssmugcompromise\"
\"NowwillIcapyou！\"theWhiteLogicbreaksin。
\"Butifyouwouldnotthispoorlifefulfil，Lo，youarefreetoenditwhenyouwill，Withoutthefearofwakingafterdeath。\"
AndIlaughmydefiance；fornow，andforthemoment，IknowtheWhiteLogictobethearch-impostorofthemall，whisperinghiswhispersofdeath。Andheisguiltyofhisownunmasking，withhisowngenialchemistryturningthetablesonhimself，withhisownmaggotsbitingalivetheoldillusions，resurrectingandmakingtosoundagaintheoldvoicefrombeyondofmyyouth，tellingmeagainthatstillareminethepossibilitiesandpowerswhichlifeandthebookshadtaughtmedidnotexist。
Andthedinnergongsoundstothereversedbottomofmyglass。
JeeringattheWhiteLogic，Igoouttojoinmyguestsattable，andwithassumedseriousnesstodiscussthecurrentmagazinesandthesillydoingsoftheworld’sday，whippingeverytrickandruseofcontroversythroughallthepacesofparadoxandpersiflage。
And，whenthewhimchanges，itismosteasyanddelightfullydisconcertingtoplaywiththerespectableandcowardlybourgeoisfetishesandtolaughandepigramattheflittinggod-ghostsandthedebaucheriesandfolliesofwisdom。
Theclown’sthething！Theclown！Ifonemustbeaphilosopher，lethimbeAristophanes。AndnooneatthetablethinksIamjingled。Iaminfinefettle，thatisall。Itireofthelabourofthinking，and，whenthetableisfinished，startpracticaljokesandsetallplayingatgames，whichwecarryonwithbucolicboisterousness。
Andwhentheeveningisoverandgood-nightsaid，Igobackthroughmybook-walleddentomysleepingporchandtomyselfandtotheWhiteLogicwhich，undefeated，hasneverleftme。AndasI
falltofuddledsleepIhearyouthcrying，asHarryKempheardit：
\"IheardYouthcallinginthenight：
’Goneismyformerworld-delight；
Forthereisnaughtmyfeetmaystay；
Themornsuffusesintoday，ItdarenotstandamomentstillButmusttheworldwithlightfulfil。
MoreevanescentthantheroseMysuddenrainbowcomesandgoes，Plungingbrightendsacrossthesky——
Yea，IamYouthbecauseIdie！’\"
CHAPTERXXXVIII
TheforegoingisasampleroamingwiththeWhiteLogicthroughtheduskofmysoul。
TothebestofmypowerIhavestriventogivethereaderaglimpseofaman’ssecretdwellingwhenitissharedwithJohnBarleycorn。Andthereadermustrememberthatthismood，whichhehasreadinaquarterofanhour，isbutonemoodofthemyriadmoodsofJohnBarleycorn，andthattheprocessionofsuchmoodsmaywelllasttheclockaroundthroughmanyadayandweekandmonth。
Myalcoholicreminiscencesdrawtoaclose。Icansay，asanystrong，chestydrinkercansay，thatallthatleavesmealiveto-
dayontheplanetismyunmeritedluck——theluckofchest，andshoulders，andconstitution。Idaretosaythatanotlargepercentageofyouths，intheformativestageoffifteentoseventeen，couldhavesurvivedthestressofheavydrinkingthatI
survivedbetweenmyfifteenthandseventeenthyears；thatanotlargepercentageofmencouldhavepunishedthealcoholIhavepunishedinmymanhoodyearsandlivedtotellthetale。I
survived，throughnopersonalvirtue，butbecauseIdidnothavethechemistryofadipsomaniacandbecauseIpossessedanorganismunusuallyresistanttotheravagesofJohnBarleycorn。And，surviving，Ihavewatchedtheothersdie，notsolucky，downallthelongsadroad。
Itwasmyunmitigatedandabsolutegoodfortune，goodluck，chance，callitwhatyouwill，thatbroughtmethroughthefiresofJohnBarleycorn。Mylife，mycareer，myjoyinliving，havenotbeendestroyed。Theyhavebeenscorched，itistrue；likethesurvivorsofforlornhopes，theyhavebyunthinkablymiraculouswayscomethroughthefighttomarvelatthetallyoftheslain。
Andlikesuchasurvivorofoldredwarwhocriesout，\"Lettherebenomorewar！\"soIcryout，\"Lettherebenomorepoison-
fightingbyouryouths！\"Thewaytostopwaristostopit。Thewaytostopdrinkingistostopit。ThewayChinastoppedthegeneraluseofopiumwasbystoppingthecultivationandimportationofopium。Thephilosophers，priests，anddoctorsofChinacouldhavepreachedthemselvesbreathlessagainstopiumforathousandyears，andtheuseofopium，solongasopiumwaseveraccessibleandobtainable，wouldhavecontinuedunabated。Wearesomade，thatisall。
Wehavewithgreatsuccessmadeapracticeofnotleavingarsenicandstrychnine，andtyphoidandtuberculosisgermslyingaroundforourchildrentobedestroyedby。TreatJohnBarleycornthesameway。Stophim。Don’tlethimliearound，licensedandlegal，topounceuponouryouth。NotofalcoholicsnorforalcoholicsdoIwrite，butforouryouths，forthosewhopossessnomorethantheadventure-stingsandthegenialpredispositions，thesocialman-impulses，whicharetwistedallawrybyourbarbariancivilisationwhichfeedsthempoisononallthecorners。
Itisthehealthy，normalboys，nowbornorbeingborn，forwhomI
write。
Itwasforthisreason，morethananyother，andmoreardentlythananyother，thatIrodedownintotheValleyoftheMoon，alla-jingle，andvotedforequalsuffrage。Ivotedthatwomenmightvote，becauseIknewthatthey，thewivesandmothersoftherace，wouldvoteJohnBarleycornoutofexistenceandbackintothehistoricallimboofourvanishedcustomsofsavagery。IfIthusseemtocryoutasonehurt，pleaserememberthatIhavebeensorelybruisedandthatIdodislikethethoughtthatanysonordaughterofmineoryoursshouldbesimilarlybruised。
Thewomenarethetrueconservatorsoftherace。Themenarethewastrels，theadventure-loversandgamblers，andintheenditisbytheirwomenthattheyaresaved。Aboutman’sfirstexperimentinchemistrywasthemakingofalcohol，anddownallthegenerationstothisdaymanhascontinuedtomanufactureanddrinkit。Andtherehasneverbeenadaywhenthewomenhavenotresentedman’suseofalcohol，thoughtheyhaveneverhadthepowertogiveweighttotheirresentment。Themomentwomengetthevoteinanycommunity，thefirstthingtheyproceedtodoistoclosethesaloons。Inathousandgenerationstocomemenofthemselveswillnotclosethesaloons。Aswellexpectthemorphinevictimstolegislatethesaleofmorphineoutofexistence。
Thewomenknow。Theyhavepaidanincalculablepriceofsweatandtearsforman’suseofalcohol。Everjealousfortherace，theywilllegislateforthebabesofboysyettobeborn；andforthebabesofgirls，too，fortheymustbethemothers，wives，andsistersoftheseboys。
Anditwillbeeasy。Theonlyonesthatwillbehurtwillbethetopersandseasoneddrinkersofasinglegeneration。Iamoneofthese，andImakesolemnassurance，baseduponlongtrafficwithJohnBarleycorn，thatitwon’thurtmeverymuchtostopdrinkingwhennooneelsedrinksandwhennodrinkisobtainable。Ontheotherhand，theoverwhelmingproportionofyoungmenaresonormallynon-alcoholic，that，neverhavinghadaccesstoalcohol，theywillnevermissit。Theywillknowofthesaloononlyinthepagesofhistory，andtheywillthinkofthesaloonasaquaintoldcustomsimilartobull-baitingandtheburningofwitches。
CHAPTERXXXIX
Ofcourse，nopersonaltaleiscompletewithoutbringingthenarrativeofthepersondowntothelastmoment。Butmineisnotaleofareformeddrunkard。Iwasneveradrunkard，andIhavenotreformed。
Itchanced，sometimeago，thatImadeavoyageofonehundredandforty-eightdaysinawindjammeraroundtheHorn。Itooknoprivatesupplyofalcoholalong，and，thoughtherewasnodayofthoseonehundredandforty-eightdaysthatIcouldnothavegotadrinkfromthecaptain，Ididnottakeadrink。IdidnottakeadrinkbecauseIdidnotdesireadrink。Nooneelsedrankonboard。Theatmospherefordrinkingwasnotpresent，andinmysystemtherewasnoorganicneedforalcohol。Mychemistrydidnotdemandalcohol。
Sotherearosebeforemeaproblem，aclearandsimpleproblem：
THISISSOEASY，WHYNOTKEEPITUPWHENYOUGETBACKONLAND？I
weighedthisproblemcarefully。Iweigheditforfivemonths，inastateofabsolutenon-contactwithalcohol。Andoutofthedataofpastexperience，Ireachedcertainconclusions。
Inthefirstplace，Iamconvincedthatnotonemanintenthousandorinahundredthousandisagenuine，chemicaldipsomaniac。Drinking，asIdeemit，ispracticallyentirelyahabitofmind。Itisunliketobacco，orcocaine，ormorphine，oralltherestofthelonglistofdrugs。Thedesireforalcoholisquitepeculiarlymentalinitsorigin。Itisamatterofmentaltrainingandgrowth，anditiscultivatedinsocialsoil。Notonedrinkerinamillionbegandrinkingalone。Alldrinkersbeginsocially，andthisdrinkingisaccompaniedbyathousandsocialconnotationssuchasIhavedescribedoutofmyownexperienceinthefirstpartofthisnarrative。Thesesocialconnotationsarethestuffofwhichthedrinkhabitislargelycomposed。Thepartthatalcoholitselfplaysisinconsiderablewhencomparedwiththepartplayedbythesocialatmosphereinwhichitisdrunk。Thehumanisrarelybornthesedays，who，withoutlongtraininginthesocialassociationsofdrinking，feelstheirresistiblechemicalpropulsionofhissystemtowardalcohol。Idoassumethatsuchrareindividualsareborn，butIhaveneverencounteredone。
Onthislong，five-months’voyage，Ifoundthatamongallmybodilyneedsnottheslightestshredofabodilyneedforalcoholexisted。ButthisIdidfind：myneedwasmentalandsocial。
WhenIthoughtofalcohol，theconnotationwasfellowship。WhenI
thoughtoffellowship，theconnotationwasalcohol。FellowshipandalcoholwereSiamesetwins。Theyalwaysoccurredlinkedtogether。
Thus，whenreadinginmydeckchairorwhentalkingwithothers，practicallyanymentionofanypartoftheworldIknewinstantlyarousedtheconnotationofdrinkingandgoodfellows。Bignightsanddaysandmoments，allpurplepassagesandfreedoms，throngedmymemory。\"Venice\"staresatmefromtheprintedpage，andI
rememberthecafetablesonthesidewalks。\"TheBattleofSantiago，\"someonesays，andIanswer，\"Yes，I’vebeenovertheground。\"ButIdonotseetheground，norKettleHill，northePeaceTree。WhatIseeistheCafeVenus，ontheplazaofSantiago，whereonehotnightIdrankandtalkedwithadyingconsumptive。
TheEastEndofLondon，Iread，orsomeonesays；andfirstofall，undermyeyelids，leapthevisionsoftheshiningpubs，andinmyearsechothecallsfor\"twoofbitter\"and\"threeofScotch。\"TheLatinQuarter——atonceIaminthestudentcabarets，brightfacesandkeenspiritsaroundme，sippingcool，well-
drippedabsinthewhileourvoicesmountandsoarinLatinfashionaswesettleGodandartanddemocracyandtherestofthesimpleproblemsofexistence。
InapamperoofftheRiverPlatewespeculate，ifwearedisabled，ofrunningintoBuenosAyres，the\"ParisofAmerica，\"andIhavevisionsofbrightcongregatingplacesofmen，ofthejollityofraisedglasses，andofsongandcheerandthehumofgenialvoices。WhenwehavepickeduptheNorth-eastTradesinthePacificwetrytopersuadeourdyingcaptaintorunforHonolulu，andwhileIpersuadeIseemyselfagaindrinkingcocktailsonthecoollanaisandfizzesoutatWaikikiwherethesurfrollsin。
SomeonementionsthewaywildducksarecookedintherestaurantsofSanFrancisco，andatonceIamtransportedtothelightandclatterofmanytables，whereIgazeatoldfriendsacrossthegoldenbrimsoflong-stemmedRhine-wineglasses。
AndsoIponderedmyproblem。IshouldnotcaretorevisitallthesefairplacesoftheworldexceptinthefashionIvisitedthembefore。GLASSINHAND！Thereisamagicinthephrase。Itmeansmorethanallthewordsinthedictionarycanbemadetomean。ItisahabitofmindtowhichIhavebeentrainedallmylife。Itisnowpartofthestuffthatcomposesme。Ilikethebubblingplayofwit，thechestylaughs，theresonantvoicesofmen，when，glassinhand，theyshutthegreyworldoutsideandprodtheirbrainswiththefunandfollyofanacceleratedpulse。
No，Idecided；Ishalltakemydrinkonoccasion。Withallthebooksonmyshelves，withallthethoughtsofthethinkersshadedbymyparticulartemperament，IdecidedcoollyanddeliberatelythatIshouldcontinuetodowhatIhadbeentrainedtowanttodo。Iwoulddrink——butoh，moreskilfully，morediscreetly，thaneverbefore。NeveragainwouldIbeaperipateticconflagration。
NeveragainwouldIinvoketheWhiteLogic。Ihadlearnedhownottoinvokehim。
TheWhiteLogicnowliesdecentlyburiedalongsidetheLongSickness。Neitherwillafflictmeagain。ItismanyayearsinceIlaidtheLongSicknessaway；hissleepissound。AndjustassoundisthesleepoftheWhiteLogic。Andyet，inconclusion，I
canwellsaythatIwishmyforefathershadbanishedJohnBarleycornbeforemytime。IregretthatJohnBarleycornflourishedeverywhereinthesystemofsocietyinwhichIwasborn，elseIshouldnothavemadehisacquaintance，andIwaslongtrainedinhisacquaintance。