Onafineafternooninlateautumnhewasputtingsomefinishingtouchestoastudyofmeadowweedswhenhisneighbour，AdelaPingsford，assailedtheouterdoorofhisstudiowithloudperemptoryknockings。
\"Thereisanoxinmygarden，\"sheannounced，inexplanationofthetempestuousintrusion。
\"Anox，\"saidEshleyblankly，andratherfatuously；
\"whatkindofox？\"
\"Oh，Idon\'tknowwhatkind，\"snappedthelady。\"A
commonorgardenox，tousetheslangexpression。ItisthegardenpartofitthatIobjectto。Mygardenhasjustbeenputstraightforthewinter，andanoxroamingaboutinitwon\'timprovematters。Besides，therearethechrysanthemumsjustcomingintoflower。\"
\"Howdiditgetintothegarden？\"askedEshley。
\"Iimagineitcameinbythegate，\"saidtheladyimpatiently；\"itcouldn\'thaveclimbedthewalls，andI
don\'tsupposeanyonedroppeditfromanaeroplaneasaBovriladvertisement。Theimmediatelyimportantquestionisnothowitgotin，buthowtogetitout。\"
\"Won\'titgo？\"saidEshley。
\"Ifitwasanxioustogo，\"saidAdelaPingsfordratherangrily，\"Ishouldnothavecomeheretochatwithyouaboutit。I\'mpracticallyallalone；thehousemaidishavingherafternoonoutandthecookislyingdownwithanattackofneuralgia。AnythingthatImayhavelearnedatschoolorinafterlifeabouthowtoremovealargeoxfromasmallgardenseemstohaveescapedfrommymemorynow。AllIcouldthinkofwasthatyouwereanearneighbourandacattlepainter，presumablymoreorlessfamiliarwiththesubjectsthatyoupainted，andthatyoumightbeofsomeslightassistance。PossiblyI
wasmistaken。\"
\"Ipaintdairycows，certainly，\"admittedEshley，\"butIcannotclaimtohavehadanyexperienceinrounding-upstrayoxen。I\'veseenitdoneonacinemafilm，ofcourse，buttherewerealwayshorsesandlotsofotheraccessories；besides，oneneverknowshowmuchofthosepicturesarefaked。\"
AdelaPingsfordsaidnothing，butledthewaytohergarden。Itwasnormallyafair-sizedgarden，butitlookedsmallincomparisonwiththeox，ahugemottledbrute，dullredabouttheheadandshoulders，passingtodirtywhiteontheflanksandhind-quarters，withshaggyearsandlargeblood-shoteyes。ItboreaboutasmuchresemblancetothedaintypaddockheifersthatEshleywasaccustomedtopaintasthechiefofaKurdishnomadclanwouldtoaJapanesetea-shopgirl。Eshleystoodverynearthegatewhilehestudiedtheanimal\'sappearanceanddemeanour。AdelaPingsfordcontinuedtosaynothing。
\"It\'seatingachrysanthemum，\"saidEshleyatlast，whenthesilencehadbecomeunbearable。
\"Howobservantyouare，\"saidAdelabitterly。\"Youseemtonoticeeverything。Asamatteroffact，ithasgotsixchrysanthemumsinitsmouthatthepresentmoment。\"
Thenecessityfordoingsomethingwasbecomingimperative。Eshleytookasteportwointhedirectionoftheanimal，clappedhishands，andmadenoisesofthe\"Hish\"and\"Shoo\"variety。Iftheoxheardthemitgavenooutwardindicationofthefact。
\"Ifanyhensshouldeverstrayintomygarden，\"saidAdela，\"Ishouldcertainlysendforyoutofrightenthemout。You\'shoo\'beautifully。Meanwhile，doyoumindtryingtodrivethatoxaway？ThatisaMADEMOISELLE
LOUISEBICHOTthathe\'sbegunonnow，\"sheaddedinicycalm，asaglowingorangeheadwascrushedintothehugemunchingmouth。
\"Sinceyouhavebeensofrankaboutthevarietyofthechrysanthemum，\"saidEshley，\"Idon\'tmindtellingyouthatthisisanAyrshireox。\"
Theicycalmbrokedown；AdelaPingsfordusedlanguagethatsenttheartistinstinctivelyafewfeetnearertotheox。Hepickedupapea-stickandflungitwithsomedeterminationagainsttheanimal\'smottledflanks。TheoperationofmashingMADEMOISELLELOUISE
BICHOTintoapetalsaladwassuspendedforalongmoment，whiletheoxgazedwithconcentratedinquiryatthestick-thrower。Adelagazedwithequalconcentrationandmoreobvioushostilityatthesamefocus。AsthebeastneitherlowereditsheadnorstampeditsfeetEshleyventuredonanotherjavelinexercisewithanotherpea-stick。Theoxseemedtorealiseatoncethatitwastogo；itgaveahurriedfinalpluckatthebedwherethechrysanthemumshadbeen，andstrodeswiftlyupthegarden。Eshleyrantoheadittowardsthegate，butonlysucceededinquickeningitspacefromawalktoalumberingtrot。Withanairofinquiry，butwithnorealhesitation，itcrossedthetinystripofturfthatthecharitablecalledthecroquetlawn，andpusheditswaythroughtheopenFrenchwindowintothemorning-room。
Somechrysanthemumsandotherautumnherbagestoodabouttheroominvases，andtheanimalresumeditsbrowsingoperations；allthesame，Eshleyfanciedthatthebeginningsofahuntedlookhadcomeintoitseyes，alookthatcounselledrespect。Hediscontinuedhisattempttointerferewithitschoiceofsurroundings。
\"Mr。Eshley，\"saidAdelainashakingvoice，\"I
askedyoutodrivethatbeastoutofmygarden，butIdidnotaskyoutodriveitintomyhouse。IfImusthaveitanywhereonthepremisesIpreferthegardentothemorning-room。\"
\"Cattledrivesarenotinmyline，\"saidEshley；\"ifIrememberItoldyousoattheoutset。\"\"Iquiteagree，\"retortedthelady，\"paintingprettypicturesofprettylittlecowsiswhatyou\'resuitedfor。Perhapsyou\'dliketodoanicesketchofthatoxmakingitselfathomeinmymorning-room？\"
Thistimeitseemedasifthewormhadturned；
Eshleybeganstridingaway。
\"Whereareyougoing？\"screamedAdela。
\"Tofetchimplements，\"wastheanswer。
\"Implements？Iwon\'thaveyouusealasso。Theroomwillbewreckedifthere\'sastruggle。\"
Buttheartistmarchedoutofthegarden。Inacoupleofminuteshereturned，ladenwitheasel，sketching-stool，andpaintingmaterials。
\"Doyoumeantosaythatyou\'regoingtositquietlydownandpaintthatbrutewhileit\'sdestroyingmymorning-room？\"gaspedAdela。
\"Itwasyoursuggestion，\"saidEshley，settinghiscanvasinposition。
\"Iforbidit；Iabsolutelyforbidit！\"stormedAdela。
\"Idon\'tseewhatstandingyouhaveinthematter，\"
saidtheartist；\"youcanhardlypretendthatit\'syourox，evenbyadoption。\"
\"Youseemtoforgetthatit\'sinmymorning-room，eatingmyflowers，\"cametheragingretort。
\"Youseemtoforgetthatthecookhasneuralgia，\"
saidEshley；\"shemaybejustdozingoffintoamercifulsleepandyouroutcrywillwakenher。Considerationforothersshouldbetheguidingprincipleofpeopleinourstationoflife。\"
\"Themanismad！\"exclaimedAdelatragically。A
momentlateritwasAdelaherselfwhoappearedtogomad。
Theoxhadfinishedthevase-flowersandthecoverof\"IsraelKalisch，\"andappearedtobethinkingofleavingitsratherrestrictedquarters。EshleynoticeditsrestlessnessandpromptlyflungitsomebunchesofVirginiacreeperleavesasaninducementtocontinuethesitting。
\"Iforgethowtheproverbruns，\"heobserved；ofsomethingabout\'betteradinnerofherbsthanastalledoxwherehateis。\'Weseemtohavealltheingredientsfortheproverbreadytohand。\"
\"IshallgotothePublicLibraryandgetthemtotelephoneforthepolice，\"announcedAdela，and，ragingaudibly，shedeparted。
Someminuteslatertheox，awakeningprobablytothesuspicionthatoilcakeandchoppedmangoldwaswaitingforitinsomeappointedbyre，steppedwithmuchprecautionoutofthemorning-room，staredwithgraveinquiryatthenolongerobtrusiveandpea-stick-throwinghuman，andthenlumberedheavilybutswiftlyoutofthegarden。Eshleypackeduphistoolsandfollowedtheanimal\'sexampleand\"Larkdene\"waslefttoneuralgiaandthecook。
Theepisodewastheturning-pointinEshley\'sartisticcareer。Hisremarkablepicture，\"Oxinamorning-room，lateautumn，\"wasoneofthesensationsandsuccessesofthenextParisSalon，andwhenitwassubsequentlyexhibitedatMunichitwasboughtbytheBavarianGovernment，intheteethofthespiritedbiddingofthreemeat-extractfirms。Fromthatmomenthissuccesswascontinuousandassured，andtheRoyalAcademywasthankful，twoyearslater，togiveaconspicuouspositiononitswallstohislargecanvas\"BarbaryApesWreckingaBoudoir。\"
EshleypresentedAdelaPingsfordwithanewcopyof\"IsraelKalisch，\"andacoupleoffinelyfloweringplantsofMADAMEADNREBLUSSET，butnothinginthenatureofarealreconciliationhastakenplacebetweenthem。
THESTORY-TELLER
ITwasahotafternoon，andtherailwaycarriagewascorrespondinglysultry，andthenextstopwasatTemplecombe，nearlyanhourahead。Theoccupantsofthecarriagewereasmallgirl，andasmallergirl，andasmallboy。Anauntbelongingtothechildrenoccupiedonecornerseat，andthefurthercornerseatontheoppositesidewasoccupiedbyabachelorwhowasastrangertotheirparty，butthesmallgirlsandthesmallboyemphaticallyoccupiedthecompartment。Boththeauntandthechildrenwereconversationalinalimited，persistentway，remindingoneoftheattentionsofahouseflythatrefusestobediscouraged。Mostoftheaunt\'sremarksseemedtobeginwith\"Don\'t，\"andnearlyallofthechildren\'sremarksbeganwith\"Why？\"
Thebachelorsaidnothingoutloud。\"Don\'t，Cyril，don\'t，\"exclaimedtheaunt，asthesmallboybegansmackingthecushionsoftheseat，producingacloudofdustateachblow。
\"Comeandlookoutofthewindow，\"sheadded。
Thechildmovedreluctantlytothewindow。\"Whyarethosesheepbeingdrivenoutofthatfield？\"heasked。
\"Iexpecttheyarebeingdriventoanotherfieldwherethereismoregrass，\"saidtheauntweakly。
\"Butthereislotsofgrassinthatfield，\"
protestedtheboy；\"there\'snothingelsebutgrassthere。
Aunt，there\'slotsofgrassinthatfield。\"
\"Perhapsthegrassintheotherfieldisbetter，\"
suggestedtheauntfatuously。
\"Whyisitbetter？\"cametheswift，inevitablequestion。
\"Oh，lookatthosecows！\"exclaimedtheaunt。
Nearlyeveryfieldalongthelinehadcontainedcowsorbullocks，butshespokeasthoughsheweredrawingattentiontoararity。
\"Whyisthegrassintheotherfieldbetter？\"
persistedCyril。
Thefrownonthebachelor\'sfacewasdeepeningtoascowl。Hewasahard，unsympatheticman，theauntdecidedinhermind。Shewasutterlyunabletocometoanysatisfactorydecisionaboutthegrassintheotherfield。
Thesmallergirlcreatedadiversionbybeginningtorecite\"OntheRoadtoMandalay。\"Sheonlyknewthefirstline，butsheputherlimitedknowledgetothefullestpossibleuse。Sherepeatedthelineoverandoveragaininadreamybutresoluteandveryaudiblevoice；itseemedtothebachelorasthoughsomeonehadhadabetwithherthatshecouldnotrepeatthelinealoudtwothousandtimeswithoutstopping。Whoeveritwaswhohadmadethewagerwaslikelytolosehisbet。
\"Comeoverhereandlistentoastory，\"saidtheaunt，whenthebachelorhadlookedtwiceatherandonceatthecommunicationcord。
Thechildrenmovedlistlesslytowardstheaunt\'sendofthecarriage。Evidentlyherreputationasastory-
tellerdidnotrankhighintheirestimation。
Inalow，confidentialvoice，interruptedatfrequentintervalsbyloud，petulantquestioningsfromherlisteners，shebegananunenterprisinganddeplorablyuninterestingstoryaboutalittlegirlwhowasgood，andmadefriendswitheveryoneonaccountofhergoodness，andwasfinallysavedfromamadbullbyanumberofrescuerswhoadmiredhermoralcharacter。
\"Wouldn\'ttheyhavesavedherifshehadn\'tbeengood？\"demandedthebiggerofthesmallgirls。Itwasexactlythequestionthatthebachelorhadwantedtoask。
\"Well，yes，\"admittedtheauntlamely，\"butIdon\'tthinktheywouldhaverunquitesofasttoherhelpiftheyhadnotlikedhersomuch。\"
\"It\'sthestupideststoryI\'veeverheard，\"saidthebiggerofthesmallgirls，withimmenseconviction。
\"Ididn\'tlistenafterthefirstbit，itwassostupid，\"saidCyril。
Thesmallergirlmadenoactualcommentonthestory，butshehadlongagorecommencedamurmuredrepetitionofherfavouriteline。
\"Youdon\'tseemtobeasuccessasastory-teller，\"
saidthebachelorsuddenlyfromhiscorner。
Theauntbristledininstantdefenceatthisunexpectedattack。
\"It\'saverydifficultthingtotellstoriesthatchildrencanbothunderstandandappreciate，\"shesaidstiffly。
\"Idon\'tagreewithyou，\"saidthebachelor。
\"Perhapsyouwouldliketotellthemastory，\"wastheaunt\'sretort。
\"Tellusastory，\"demandedthebiggerofthesmallgirls。
\"Onceuponatime，\"beganthebachelor，\"therewasalittlegirlcalledBertha，whowasextra-ordinarilygood。\"
Thechildren\'smomentarily-arousedinterestbeganatoncetoflicker；allstoriesseemeddreadfullyalike，nomatterwhotoldthem。
\"Shedidallthatshewastold，shewasalwaystruthful，shekeptherclothesclean，atemilkpuddingsasthoughtheywerejamtarts，learnedherlessonsperfectly，andwaspoliteinhermanners。\"
\"Wasshepretty？\"askedthebiggerofthesmallgirls。
\"Notasprettyasanyofyou，\"saidthebachelor，\"butshewashorriblygood。\"
Therewasawaveofreactioninfavourofthestory；
thewordhorribleinconnectionwithgoodnesswasanoveltythatcommendeditself。Itseemedtointroducearingoftruththatwasabsentfromtheaunt\'stalesofinfantlife。
\"Shewassogood，\"continuedthebachelor，\"thatshewonseveralmedalsforgoodness，whichshealwayswore，pinnedontoherdress。Therewasamedalforobedience，anothermedalforpunctuality，andathirdforgoodbehaviour。Theywerelargemetalmedalsandtheyclickedagainstoneanotherasshewalked。Nootherchildinthetownwhereshelivedhadasmanyasthreemedals，soeverybodyknewthatshemustbeanextragoodchild。\"
\"Horriblygood，\"quotedCyril。
\"Everybodytalkedabouthergoodness，andthePrinceofthecountrygottohearaboutit，andhesaidthatasshewassoverygoodshemightbeallowedonceaweektowalkinhispark，whichwasjustoutsidethetown。Itwasabeautifulpark，andnochildrenwereeverallowedinit，soitwasagreathonourforBerthatobeallowedtogothere。\"
\"Werethereanysheepinthepark？\"demandedCyril。
\"No；\"saidthebachelor，\"therewerenosheep。\"
\"Whyweren\'tthereanysheep？\"cametheinevitablequestionarisingoutofthatanswer。
Theauntpermittedherselfasmile，whichmightalmosthavebeendescribedasagrin。
\"Therewerenosheepinthepark，\"saidthebachelor，\"becausethePrince\'smotherhadoncehadadreamthathersonwouldeitherbekilledbyasheeporelsebyaclockfallingonhim。ForthatreasonthePrinceneverkeptasheepinhisparkoraclockinhispalace。\"
Theauntsuppressedagaspofadmiration。
\"WasthePrincekilledbyasheeporbyaclock？\"
askedCyril。
\"Heisstillalive，sowecan\'ttellwhetherthedreamwillcometrue，\"saidthebachelorunconcernedly；
\"anyway，therewerenosheepinthepark，buttherewerelotsoflittlepigsrunningallovertheplace。\"
\"Whatcolourwerethey？\"
\"Blackwithwhitefaces，whitewithblackspots，blackallover，greywithwhitepatches，andsomewerewhiteallover。\"
Thestorytellerpausedtoletafullideaofthepark\'streasuressinkintothechildren\'simaginations；
thenheresumed：
\"Berthawasrathersorrytofindthattherewerenoflowersinthepark。Shehadpromisedheraunts，withtearsinhereyes，thatshewouldnotpickanyofthekindPrince\'sflowers，andshehadmeanttokeepherpromise，soofcourseitmadeherfeelsillytofindthattherewerenoflowerstopick。\"
\"Whyweren\'tthereanyflowers？\"
\"Becausethepigshadeatenthemall，\"saidthebachelorpromptly。\"ThegardenershadtoldthePrincethatyoucouldn\'thavepigsandflowers，sohedecidedtohavepigsandnoflowers。\"
TherewasamurmurofapprovalattheexcellenceofthePrince\'sdecision；somanypeoplewouldhavedecidedtheotherway。
\"Therewerelotsofotherdelightfulthingsinthepark。Therewerepondswithgoldandblueandgreenfishinthem，andtreeswithbeautifulparrotsthatsaidcleverthingsatamoment\'snotice，andhummingbirdsthathummedallthepopulartunesoftheday。Berthawalkedupanddownandenjoyedherselfimmensely，andthoughttoherself：\'IfIwerenotsoextraordinarilygoodIshouldnothavebeenallowedtocomeintothisbeautifulparkandenjoyallthatthereistobeseeninit，\'andherthreemedalsclinkedagainstoneanotherasshewalkedandhelpedtoremindherhowverygoodshereallywas。Justthenanenormouswolfcameprowlingintotheparktoseeifitcouldcatchafatlittlepigforitssupper。\"
\"Whatcolourwasit？\"askedthechildren，amidanimmediatequickeningofinterest。
\"Mud-colourallover，withablacktongueandpalegreyeyesthatgleamedwithunspeakableferocity。ThefirstthingthatitsawintheparkwasBertha；herpinaforewassospotlesslywhiteandcleanthatitcouldbeseenfromagreatdistance。Berthasawthewolfandsawthatitwasstealingtowardsher，andshebegantowishthatshehadneverbeenallowedtocomeintothepark。Sheranashardasshecould，andthewolfcameafterherwithhugeleapsandbounds。Shemanagedtoreachashrubberyofmyrtlebushesandshehidherselfinoneofthethickestofthebushes。Thewolfcamesniffingamongthebranches，itsblacktonguelollingoutofitsmouthanditspalegreyeyesglaringwithrage。
Berthawasterriblyfrightened，andthoughttoherself：
\'IfIhadnotbeensoextraordinarilygoodIshouldhavebeensafeinthetownatthismoment。\'However，thescentofthemyrtlewassostrongthatthewolfcouldnotsniffoutwhereBerthawashiding，andthebushesweresothickthathemighthavehuntedaboutinthemforalongtimewithoutcatchingsightofher，sohethoughthemightaswellgooffandcatchalittlepiginstead。
Berthawastremblingverymuchathavingthewolfprowlingandsniffingsonearher，andasshetrembledthemedalforobedienceclinkedagainstthemedalsforgoodconductandpunctuality。Thewolfwasjustmovingawaywhenheheardthesoundofthemedalsclinkingandstoppedtolisten；theyclinkedagaininabushquitenearhim。Hedashedintothebush，hispalegreyeyesgleamingwithferocityandtriumph，anddraggedBerthaoutanddevouredhertothelastmorsel。Allthatwasleftofherwerehershoes，bitsofclothing，andthethreemedalsforgoodness。\"
\"Wereanyofthelittlepigskilled？\"
\"No，theyallescaped。\"
\"Thestorybeganbadly，\"saidthesmallerofthesmallgirls，\"butithadabeautifulending。\"
\"ItisthemostbeautifulstorythatIeverheard，\"
saidthebiggerofthesmallgirls，withimmensedecision。
\"ItistheONLYbeautifulstoryIhaveeverheard，\"
saidCyril。
Adissentientopinioncamefromtheaunt。
\"Amostimproperstorytotelltoyoungchildren！
Youhaveunderminedtheeffectofyearsofcarefulteaching。\"
\"Atanyrate，\"saidthebachelor，collectinghisbelongingspreparatorytoleavingthecarriage，\"Ikeptthemquietfortenminutes，whichwasmorethanyouwereabletodo。\"
\"Unhappywoman！\"heobservedtohimselfashewalkeddowntheplatformofTemplecombestation；\"forthenextsixmonthsorsothosechildrenwillassailherinpublicwithdemandsforanimproperstory！\"
ADEFENSIVEDIAMOND
TREDDLEFORDsatinaneasefularm-chairinfrontofaslumberousfire，withavolumeofverseinhishandandthecomfortableconsciousnessthatoutsidetheclubwindowstherainwasdrippingandpatteringwithpersistentpurpose。Achill，wetOctoberafternoonwasmergingintoableak，wetOctoberevening，andtheclubsmoking-roomseemedwarmerandcosierbycontrast。Itwasanafternoononwhichtobewaftedawayfromone\'sclimaticsurroundings，and\"TheGoldenjourneytoSamarkand\"promisedtobearTreddlefordwellandbravelyintootherlandsandunderotherskies。HehadalreadymigratedfromLondontherain-swepttoBagdadtheBeautiful，andstoodbytheSunGate\"intheoldentime\"
whenanicybreathofimminentannoyanceseemedtocreepbetweenthebookandhimself。Amblecope，themanwiththerestless，prominenteyesandthemouthreadymobilisedforconversationalopenings，hadplantedhimselfinaneighbouringarm-chair。ForatwelvemonthandsomeoddweeksTreddlefordhadskilfullyavoidedmakingtheacquaintanceofhisvolublefellow-clubman；hehadmarvellouslyescapedfromtheinflictionofhisrelentlessrecordoftediouspersonalachievements，orallegedachievements，ongolflinks，turf，andgamingtable，byfloodandfieldandcovert-side。Nowhisseasonofimmunitywascomingtoanend。Therewasnoescape；inanothermomenthewouldbenumberedamongthosewhoknewAmblecopetospeakto-orrather，tosufferbeingspokento。
TheintruderwasarmedwithacopyofCOUNTRYLIFE，notforpurposesofreading，butasanaidtoconversationalice-breaking。
\"RatheragoodportraitofThrostlewing，\"heremarkedexplosively，turninghislargechallengingeyesonTreddleford；\"somehowitremindsmeverymuchofYellowstep，whowassupposedtobesuchagoodthingfortheGrandPrixin1903。Curiousracethatwas；IsupposeI\'veseeneveryracefortheGrandPrixforthelast-\"
\"BekindenoughnevertomentiontheGrandPrixinmyhearing，\"saidTreddleforddesperately；\"itawakensacutelydistressingmemories。Ican\'texplainwhywithoutgoingintoalongandcomplicatedstory。\"
\"Oh，certainly，certainly，\"saidAmblecopehastily；
longandcomplicatedstoriesthatwerenottoldbyhimselfwereabominableinhiseyes。HeturnedthepagesofCOUNTRYLIFEandbecamespuriouslyinterestedinthepictureofaMongolianpheasant。
\"NotabadrepresentationoftheMongolianvariety，\"
heexclaimed，holdingitupforhisneighbour\'sinspection。\"Theydoverywellinsomecovers。Takesomestoppingtoo，oncethey\'refairlyonthewing。I
supposethebiggestbagIevermadeintwosuccessivedays-\"
\"Myaunt，whoownsthegreaterpartofLincolnshire，\"brokeinTreddleford，withdramaticabruptness，\"possessesperhapsthemostremarkablerecordinthewayofapheasantbagthathaseverbeenachieved。
Sheisseventy-fiveandcan\'thitathing，butshealwaysgoesoutwiththeguns。WhenIsayshecan\'thitathing，Idon\'tmeantosaythatshedoesn\'toccasionallyendangerthelivesofherfellow-guns，becausethatwouldn\'tbetrue。Infact，thechiefGovernmentWhipwon\'tallowMinisterialM。P。\'stogooutwithher；\'Wedon\'twanttoincurby-electionsneedlessly，\'hequitereasonablyobserved。Well，theotherdayshewingedapheasant，andbroughtittoearthwithafeatherortwoknockedoutofit；itwasarunner，andmyauntsawherselfindangerofbeingdoneoutofabouttheonlybirdshe\'dhitduringthepresentreign。Ofcourseshewasn\'tgoingtostandthat；shefolloweditthroughbrackenandbrushwood，andwhenittooktotheopencountryandstartedacrossaploughedfieldshejumpedontotheshootingponyandwentafterit。Thechasewasalongone，andwhenmyauntatlastranthebirdtoastandstillshewasnearerhomethanshewastotheshootingparty；shehadleftthatsomefivemilesbehindher。\"
\"Ratheralongrunforawoundedpheasant，\"snappedAmblecope。
\"Thestoryrestsonmyaunt\'sauthority，\"saidTreddlefordcoldly，\"andsheislocalvice-presidentoftheYoungWomen\'sChristianAssociation。Shetrottedthreemilesorsotoherhome，anditwasnottillthemiddleoftheafternoonthatitwasdiscoveredthatthelunchfortheentireshootingpartywasinapannierattachedtothepony\'ssaddle。Anyway，shegotherbird。\"
\"Somebirds，ofcourse，takealotofkilling，\"saidAmblecope；\"sodosomefish。IrememberonceIwasfishingintheExe，lovelytroutstream，lotsoffish，thoughtheydon\'truntoanygreatsize-\"
\"Oneofthemdid，\"announcedTreddleford，withemphasis。\"Myuncle，theBishopofSouthmolton，cameacrossagianttroutinapooljustoffthemainstreamoftheExenearUgworthy；hetrieditwitheverykindofflyandwormeverydayforthreeweekswithoutanatomofsuccess，andthenFateintervenedonhisbehalf。Therewasalowstonebridgejustoverthispool，andonthelastdayofhisfishingholidayamotorvanranviolentlyintotheparapetandturnedcompletelyover；noonewashurt，butpartoftheparapetwasknockedaway，andtheentireloadthatthevanwascarryingwaspitchedoverandfellalittlewayintothepool。Inacoupleofminutesthegianttroutwasflappingandtwistingonbaremudatthebottomofawaterlesspool，andmyunclewasabletowalkdowntohimandfoldhimtohisbreast。Thevan-loadconsistedofblotting-paper，andeverydropofwaterinthatpoolhadbeensuckedupintothemassofspiltcargo。\"
Therewassilencefornearlyhalfaminuteinthesmoking-room，andTreddlefordbegantolethismindstealbacktowardsthegoldenroadthatledtoSamarkand。
Amblecope，however，rallied，andremarkedinarathertiredanddispiritedvoice：
\"Talkingofmotoraccidents，thenarrowestsqueakI
everhadwastheotherday，motoringwitholdTommyYarbyinNorthWales。Awfullygoodsort，oldYarby，thoroughgoodsportsman，andthebest-\"
\"ItwasinNorthWales，\"saidTreddleford，\"thatmysistermetwithhersensationalcarriageaccidentlastyear。Shewasonherwaytoagarden-partyatLadyNineveh\'s，abouttheonlygarden-partythatevercomestopassinthosepartsinthecourseoftheyear，andthereforeathingthatshewouldhavebeenverysorrytomiss。Shewasdrivingayounghorsethatshe\'donlyboughtaweekortwopreviously，warrantedtobeperfectlysteadywithmotortraffic，bicycles，andothercommonobjectsoftheroadside。Theanimalliveduptoitsreputation，andpassedthemostexplosiveofmotor-
bikeswithanindifferencethatalmostamountedtoapathy。However，Isupposewealldrawthelinesomewhere，andthisparticularcobdrewitattravellingwildbeastshows。Ofcoursemysisterdidn\'tknowthat，butsheknewitverydistinctlywhensheturnedasharpcornerandfoundherselfinamixedcompanyofcamels，piebaldhorses，andcanary-colouredvans。Thedogcartwasoverturnedinaditchandkickedtosplinters，andthecobwenthomeacrosscountry。Neithermysisternorthegroomwashurt，buttheproblemofhowtogettotheNinevehgarden-party，somethreemilesdistant，seemedratherdifficulttosolve；oncethere，ofcourse，mysisterwouldeasilyfindsomeonetodriveherhome。\'I
supposeyouwouldn\'tcarefortheloanofacoupleofmycamels？\'theshowmansuggested，inhumoroussympathy。\'
Iwould，\'saidmysister，whohadriddencamel-backinEgypt，andsheoverruledtheobjectionsofthegroom，whohadn\'t。Shepickedouttwoofthemostpresentable-
lookingofthebeastsandhadthemdustedandmadeastidyaswaspossibleatshortnotice，andsetoutfortheNinevehmansion。Youmayimaginethesensationthathersmallbutimposingcaravancreatedwhenshearrivedatthehalldoor。Theentiregarden-partyflockeduptogape。Mysisterwasrathergladtoslipdownfromhercamel，andthegroomwasthankfultoscrambledownfromhis。ThenyoungBillyDoulton，oftheDragoonGuards，whohasbeenalotatAdenandthinksheknowscamel-
languagebackwards，thoughthewouldshowoffbymakingthebeastskneeldowninorthodoxfashion。Unfortunatelycamelwords-of-commandarenotthesamealltheworldover；theseweremagnificentTurkestancamels，accustomedtostrideupthestonyterracesofmountainpasses，andwhenDoultonshoutedatthemtheywentsidebysideupthefrontsteps，intotheentrancehall，andupthegrandstaircase。TheGermangovernessmetthemjustattheturnofthecorridor。TheNinevehsnursedherwithdevotedattentionforweeks，andwhenIlastheardfromthemshewaswellenoughtogoaboutherdutiesagain，butthedoctorsaysshewillalwayssufferfromHagenbeckheart。\"
Amblecopegotupfromhischairandmovedtoanotherpartoftheroom。TreddlefordreopenedhisbookandbetookhimselfoncemoreacrossThedragon-green，theluminous，thedark，theserpent-hauntedsea。
Forablessedhalf-hourhedisportedhimselfinimaginationbythe\"gayAleppo-Gate，\"andlistenedtothebird-voicedsinging-man。Thentheworldofto-daycalledhimback；apagesummonedhimtospeakwithafriendonthetelephone。
AsTreddlefordwasabouttopassoutoftheroomheencounteredAmblecope，alsopassingout，onhiswaytothebilliard-room，where，perchance，somelucklesswightmightbesecuredandheldfasttolistentothenumberofhisattendancesattheGrandPrix，withsubsequentremarksonNewmarketandtheCambridgeshire。Amblecopemadeasiftopassoutfirst，butanew-bornpridewassurginginTreddleford\'sbreastandhewavedhimback。
\"IbelieveItakeprecedence，\"hesaidcoldly；\"youaremerelytheclubBore；IamtheclubLiar。\"
THEELK
TERESA，Mrs。Thropplestance，wastherichestandmostintractableoldwomaninthecountyofWoldshire。
InherdealingswiththeworldingeneralhermannersuggestedablendbetweenaMistressoftheRobesandaMasterofFoxhounds，withthevocabularyofboth。Inherdomesticcircleshecomportedherselfinthearbitrarystylethatoneattributes，probablywithouttheleastjustification，toanAmericanpoliticalBossinthebosomofhiscaucus。ThelateTheodoreThropplestancehadlefther，somethirty-fiveyearsago，inabsolutepossessionofaconsiderablefortune，alargelandedproperty，andagalleryfullofvaluablepictures。Inthoseinterveningyearsshehadoutlivedhersonandquarrelledwithhereldergrandson，whohadmarriedwithoutherconsentorapproval。BertieThropplestance，heryoungergrandson，wastheheir-designatetoherproperty，andassuchhewasacentreofinterestandconcerntosomehalf-hundredambitiousmotherswithdaughtersofmarriageableage。
Bertiewasanamiable，easy-goingyoungman，whowasquitereadytomarryanyonewhowasfavourablyrecommendedtohisnotice，buthewasnotgoingtowastehistimeinfallinginlovewithanyonewhowouldcomeunderhisgrandmother\'sveto。ThefavourablerecommendationwouldhavetocomefromMrs。
Thropplestance。
Teresa\'shouse-partieswerealwaysroundedoffwithaplentifulgarnishingofpresentableyoungwomenandalert，attendantmothers，buttheoldladywasemphaticallydiscouragingwheneveranyoneofhergirlguestsbecameatalllikelytooutbidtheothersasapossiblegranddaughter-in-law。Itwastheinheritanceofherfortuneandestatethatwasinquestion，andshewasevidentlydisposedtoexerciseandenjoyherpowersofselectionandrejectiontotheutmost。Bertie\'spreferencesdidnotgreatlymatter；hewasofthesortwhocanbestolidlyhappywithanykindofwife；hehadcheerfullyputupwithhisgrandmotherallhislife，sowasnotlikelytofretandfumeoveranythingthatmightbefallhiminthewayofahelpmate。
ThepartythatgatheredunderTeresa\'sroofinChristmasweekoftheyearnineteen-hundred-and-somethingwasofsmallerproportionsthanusual，andMrs。Yonelet，whoformedoneoftheparty，wasinclinedtodeducehopefulauguryfromthiscircumstance。DoraYoneletandBertieweresoobviouslymadeforoneanother，sheconfidedtothevicar\'swife，andiftheoldladywereaccustomedtoseeingthemaboutalottogethershemightadopttheviewthattheywouldmakeasuitablemarriedcouple。
\"Peoplesoongetusedtoanideaifitisdangledconstantlybeforetheireyes，\"saidMrs。Yonelethopefully，\"andthemoreoftenTeresaseesthoseyoungpeopletogether，happyineachother\'scompany，themoreshewillgettotakeakindlyinterestinDoraasapossibleanddesirablewifeforBertie。\"
\"Mydear，\"saidthevicar\'swiferesignedly，\"myownSybilwasthrowntogetherwithBertieunderthemostromanticcircumstances-I\'lltellyouaboutitsomeday-butitmadenoimpressionwhateveronTeresa；sheputherfootdowninthemostuncompromisingfashion，andSybilmarriedanIndiancivilian。\"
\"Quiterightofher，\"saidMrs。Yoneletwithvagueapproval；\"it\'swhatanygirlofspiritwouldhavedone。
Still，thatwasayearortwoago，Ibelieve；Bertieisoldernow，andsoisTeresa。Naturallyshemustbeanxioustoseehimsettled。\"
Thevicar\'swifereflectedthatTeresaseemedtobetheonepersonwhoshowednoimmediateanxietytosupplyBertiewithawife，butshekeptthethoughttoherself。
Mrs。Yoneletwasawomanofresourcefulenergyandgeneralship；sheinvolvedtheothermembersofthehouse-
party，thedeadweight，sotospeak，inallmannerofexercisesandoccupationsthatsegregatedthemfromBertieandDora，whowerelefttotheirowndevisings-
thatistosay，toDora\'sdevisingsandBertie\'saccommodatingacquiescence。DorahelpedintheChristmasdecorationsoftheparishchurch，andBertiehelpedhertohelp。Togethertheyfedtheswans，tillthebirdswentonadyspepsia-strike，togethertheyplayedbilliards，togethertheyphotographedthevillagealmshouses，and，atarespectfuldistance，thetameelkthatbrowsedinsolitaryaloofnessinthepark。Itwas\"tame\"inthesensethatithadlongagodiscardedtheleastvestigeoffearofthehumanrace；nothinginitsrecordencourageditshumanneighbourstofeelareciprocalconfidence。
WhateversportorexerciseoroccupationBertieandDoraindulgedintogetherwasunfailinglychronicledandadvertisedbyMrs。YoneletforthedueenlightenmentofBertie\'sgrandmother。
\"Thosetwoinseparableshavejustcomeinfromabicycleride，\"shewouldannounce；\"quiteapicturetheymake，sofreshandglowingaftertheirspin。\"
\"Apictureneedingwords，\"wouldbeTeresa\'sprivatecomment，andasfarasBertiewasconcernedshewasdeterminedthatthewordsshouldremainunspoken。
OntheafternoonafterChristmasDayMrs。Yoneletdashedintothedrawing-room，whereherhostesswassittingamidacircleofguestsandteacupsandmuffin-
dishes。Fatehadplacedwhatseemedlikeatrump-cardinthehandsofthepatiently-manoeuvringmother。Witheyesblazingwithexcitementandavoiceheavilyescortedwithexclamationmarksshemadeadramaticannouncement。
\"BertiehassavedDorafromtheelk！\"
Inswift，excitedsentences，brokenwithmaternalemotion，shegavesupplementaryinformationastohowthetreacherousanimalhadambushedDoraasshewashuntingforastrayedgolfball，andhowBertiehaddashedtoherrescuewithastableforkanddriventhebeastoffinthenickoftime。
\"Itwastouchandgo！Shethrewherniblickatit，butthatdidn\'tstopit。Inanothermomentshewouldhavebeencrushedbeneathitshoofs，\"pantedMrs。
Yonelet。
\"Theanimalisnotsafe，\"saidTeresa，handingheragitatedguestacupoftea。\"Iforgetifyoutakesugar。Isupposethesolitarylifeitleadshassoureditstemper。Therearemuffinsinthegrate。It\'snotmyfault；I\'vetriedtogetitamateforeversolong。Youdon\'tknowofanyonewithaladyelkforsaleorexchange，doyou？\"sheaskedthecompanygenerally。
ButMrs。Yoneletwasinnohumourtolistentotalkofelkmarriages。Thematingoftwohumanbeingswasthesubjectuppermostinhermind，andtheopportunityforadvancingherpetprojectwastoovaluabletobeneglected。
\"Teresa，\"sheexclaimedimpressively，\"afterthosetwoyoungpeoplehavebeenthrowntogethersodramatically，nothingcanbequitethesameagainbetweenthem。BertiehasdonemorethansaveDora\'slife；hehasearnedheraffection。OnecannothelpfeelingthatFatehasconsecratedthemforoneanother。\"
\"Exactlywhatthevicar\'swifesaidwhenBertiesavedSybilfromtheelkayearortwoago，\"observedTeresaplacidly；\"IpointedouttoherthathehadrescuedMirabelHicksfromthesamepredicementafewmonthspreviously，andthatpriorityreallybelongedtothegardener\'sboy，whohadbeenrescuedintheJanuaryofthatyear。Thereisagooddealofsamenessincountrylife，youknow。\"
\"Itseemstobeaverydangerousanimal，\"saidoneoftheguests。
\"That\'swhatthemotherofthegardener\'sboysaid，\"
remarkedTeresa；\"shewantedmetohaveitdestroyed，butIpointedouttoherthatshehadelevenchildrenandI
hadonlyoneelk。Ialsogaveherablacksilkskirt；
shesaidthatthoughtherehadn\'tbeenafuneralinherfamilyshefeltasiftherehadbeen。Anyhow，wepartedfriends。Ican\'tofferyouasilkskirt，Emily，butyoumayhaveanothercupoftea。AsIhavealreadyremarked，therearemuffinsinthegrate。\"
Teresadosedthediscussion，havingdeftlyconveyedtheimpressionthatsheconsideredthemotherofthegardener\'sboyhadshownafarmorereasonablespiritthantheparentsofotherelk-assaultedvictims。
\"Teresaisdevoidoffeeling，\"saidMrs。Yoneletafterwardstothevicar\'swife；\"tositthere，talkingofmuffins，withanappallingtragedyonlynarrowlyaverted-\"
\"OfcourseyouknowwhomshereallyintendsBertietomarry？\"askedthevicar\'swife；\"I\'venoticeditforsometime。TheBickelbys\'Germangoverness。\"
\"AGermangoverness！Whatanidea！\"gaspedMrs。
Yonelet。
\"She\'sofquitegoodfamily，Ibelieve，\"saidthevicar\'swife，\"andnotatallthemouse-in-the-back-
groundsortofpersonthatgovernessesareusuallysupposedtobe。Infact，nexttoTeresa，she\'saboutthemostassertiveandcombativepersonalityintheneighbourhood。She\'spointedouttomyhusbandallsortsoferrorsinhissermons，andshegaveSirLaurenceapubliclectureonhowheoughttohandlethehounds。YouknowhowsensitiveSirLaurenceisaboutanycriticismofhisMastership，andtohaveagovernesslayingdownthelawtohimnearlydrovehimintoafit。She\'sbehavedlikethattoeveryone，except，ofcourse，Teresa，andeveryonehasbeendefensivelyrudetoherinreturn。
TheBickelbysaresimplytooafraidofhertogetridofher。Nowisn\'tthatexactlythesortofwomanwhomTeresawouldtakeadelightininstallingashersuccessor？ImaginethediscomfortandawkwardnessinthecountyifwesuddenlyfoundthatshewastobethefuturehostessattheHall。Teresa\'sonlyregretwillbethatshewon\'tbealivetoseeit。\"
\"But，\"objectedMrs。Yonelet，\"surelyBertiehasn\'tshowntheleastsignofbeingattractedinthatquarter？\"
\"Oh，she\'squitenice-lookinginaway，anddresseswell，andplaysagoodgameoftennis。SheoftencomesacrosstheparkwithmessagesfromtheBickelbymansion，andoneofthesedaysBertiewillrescueherfromtheelk，whichhasbecomealmostahabitwithhim，andTeresawillsaythatFatehasconsecratedthemtooneanother。
BertiemightnotbedisposedtopaymuchattentiontotheconsecrationsofFate，buthewouldnotdreamofopposinghisgrandmother。\"
Thevicar\'swifespokewiththequietauthorityofonewhohasintuitiveknowledge，andinherheartofheartsMrs。Yoneletbelievedher。
Sixmonthslatertheelkhadtobedestroyed。InafitofexceptionalmorosenessithadkilledtheBickelbys\'Germangoverness。Itwasanironyofitsfatethatitshouldachievepopularityinthelastmomentsofitscareer；atanyrate，itestablished，therecordofbeingtheonlylivingthingthathadpermanentlythwartedTeresaThropplestance\'splans。
DoraYoneletbrokeoffherengagementwithanIndiancivilian，andmarriedBertiethreemonthsafterhisgrandmother\'sdeath-TeresadidnotlongsurvivetheGermangovernessfiasco。AtChristmastimeeveryyearyoungMrs。Thropplestancehangsanextralargefestoonofevergreensontheelkhornsthatdecoratethehall。
\"Itwasafearsomebeast，\"sheobservestoBertie，\"butIalwaysfeelthatitwasinstrumentalinbringingustogether。\"
Which，ofcourse，wastrue。
\"DOWNPENS\"
\"HAVEyouwrittentothanktheFroplinsonsforwhattheysentus？\"askedEgbert。
\"No，\"saidJanetta，withanoteoftireddefianceinhervoice；\"I\'vewrittenelevenlettersto-dayexpressingsurpriseandgratitudeforsundryunmeritedgifts，butI
haven\'twrittentotheFroplinsons。\"
\"Someonewillhavetowritetothem，\"saidEgbert。
\"Idon\'tdisputethenecessity，butIdon\'tthinkthesomeoneshouldbeme，\"saidJanetta。\"Iwouldn\'tmindwritingaletterofangryrecriminationorheartlesssatiretosomesuitablerecipient；infact，Ishouldratherenjoyit，butI\'vecometotheendofmycapacityforexpressingservileamiability。Elevenlettersto-dayandnineyesterday，allcouchedinthesamestrainofecstaticthankfulness：really，youcan\'texpectmetositdowntoanother。Thereissuchathingaswritingoneselfout。\"
\"I\'vewrittennearlyasmany，\"saidEgbert，\"andI\'vehadmyusualbusinesscorrespondencetogetthrough，too。Besides，Idon\'tknowwhatitwasthattheFroplinsonssentus。\"
\"AWilliamtheConquerorcalendar，\"saidJanetta，\"withaquotationofoneofhisgreatthoughtsforeverydayintheyear。\"
\"Impossible，\"saidEgbert；\"hedidn\'thavethreehundredandsixty-fivethoughtsinthewholeofhislife，or，ifhedid，hekeptthemtohimself。Hewasamanofaction，notofintrospection。\"
\"Well，itwasWilliamWordsworth，then，\"saidJanetta；\"IknowWilliamcameintoitsomewhere。\"
\"Thatsoundsmoreprobable，\"saidEgbert；\"well，let\'scollaborateonthisletterofthanksandgetitdone。I\'lldictate，andyoucanscribbleitdown。\'DearMrs。Froplinson-thankyouandyourhusbandsomuchfortheveryprettycalendaryousentus。Itwasverygoodofyoutothinkofus。\'\"
\"Youcan\'tpossiblysaythat，\"saidJanetta，layingdownherpen。
\"It\'swhatIalwaysdosay，andwhateveryonesaystome，\"protestedEgbert。
\"Wesentthemsomethingonthetwenty-second，\"saidJanetta，\"sotheysimplyHADtothinkofus。Therewasnogettingawayfromit。\"
\"Whatdidwesendthem？\"askedEgbertgloomily。
\"Bridge-markers，\"saidJanetta，\"inacardboardcase，withsomeinanityabout\'diggingforfortunewitharoyalspade\'emblazonedonthecover。ThemomentIsawitintheshopIsaidtomyself\'Froplinsons\'andtotheattendant\'Howmuch？\'Whenhesaid\'Ninepence，\'Igavehimtheiraddress，jabbedourcardin，paidtenpenceorelevenpencetocoverthepostage，andthankedheaven。
Withlesssincerityandinfinitelymoretroubletheyeventuallythankedme。\"
\"TheFroplinsonsdon\'tplaybridge，\"saidEgbert。
\"Oneisnotsupposedtonoticesocialdeformitiesofthatsort，\"saidJanetta；\"itwouldn\'tbepolite。
Besides，whattroubledidtheytaketofindoutwhetherwereadWordsworthwithgladness？ForalltheykneworcaredwemightbefranticallyembeddedinthebeliefthatallpoetrybeginsandendswithJohnMasefield，anditmightinfuriateordepressustohaveadailysampleofWordsworthianproductsflungatus。\"
\"Well，let\'sgetonwiththeletterofthanks，\"saidEgbert。
\"Proceed，\"saidJanetta。
\"\'HowcleverofyoutoguessthatWordsworthisourfavouritepoet，\'\"dictatedEgbert。
AgainJanettalaiddownherpen。
\"Doyourealisewhatthatmeans？\"sheasked；\"aWordsworthbookletnextChristmas，andanothercalendartheChristmasafter，withthesameproblemofhavingtowritesuitablelettersofthankfulness。No，thebestthingtodoistodropallfurtherallusiontothecalendarandswitchoffontosomeothertopic。\"
\"Butwhatothertopic？\"
\"Oh，somethinglikethis：\'WhatdoyouthinkoftheNewYearHonoursList？Afriendofoursmadesuchacleverremarkwhenhereadit。\'Thenyoucanstickinanyremarkthatcomesintoyourhead；itneedn\'tbeclever。TheFroplinsonswon\'tknowwhetheritisorisn\'t。\"
\"Wedon\'tevenknowonwhichsidetheyareinpolitics，\"objectedEgbert；\"andanyhowyoucan\'tsuddenlydismissthesubjectofthecalendar。Surelytheremustbesomeintelligentremarkthatcanbemadeaboutit。\"
\"Well，wecan\'tthinkofone，\"saidJanettawearily；
\"thefactis，we\'vebothwrittenourselvesout。Heavens！
I\'vejustrememberedMrs。StephenLudberry。Ihaven\'tthankedherforwhatshesent。\"
\"Whatdidshesend？\"
\"Iforget；Ithinkitwasacalendar。\"
Therewasalongsilence，theforlornsilenceofthosewhoarebereftofhopeandhavealmostceasedtocare。
PresentlyEgbertstartedfromhisseatwithanairofresolution。Thelightofbattlewasinhiseyes。
\"Letmecometothewriting-table，\"heexclaimed。
\"Gladly，\"saidJanetta。\"AreyougoingtowritetoMrs。LudberryortheFroplinsons？\"
\"Toneither，\"saidEgbert，drawingastackofnotepapertowardshim；\"I\'mgoingtowritetotheeditorofeveryenlightenedandinfluentialnewspaperintheKingdom，I\'mgoingtosuggestthatthereshouldbeasortofepistolaryTruceofGodduringthefestivitiesofChristmasandNewYear。Fromthetwenty-fourthofDecembertothethirdorfourthofJanuaryitshallbeconsideredanoffenceagainstgoodsenseandgoodfeelingtowriteorexpectanyletterorcommunicationthatdoesnotdealwiththenecessaryeventsofthemoment。
Answerstoinvitations，arrangementsabouttrains，renewalofclubsubscriptions，and，ofcourse，alltheordinaryeverydayaffairsofbusiness，sickness，engagingnewcooks，andsoforth，thesewillbedealtwithintheusualmannerassomethinginevitable，alegitimatepartofourdailylife。Butallthedevastatingaccretionsofcorrespondence，incidenttothefestiveseason，theseshouldbesweptawaytogivetheseasonachanceofbeingreallyfestive，atimeofuntroubled，unpunctuatedpeaceandgoodwill。\"
\"Butyouwouldhavetomakesomeacknowledgmentofpresentsreceived，\"objectedJanetta；\"otherwisepeoplewouldneverknowwhethertheyhadarrivedsafely。\"
\"Ofcourse，Ihavethoughtofthat，\"saidEgbert；
\"everypresentthatwassentoffwouldbeaccompaniedbyaticketbearingthedateofdispatchandthesignatureofthesender，andsomeconventionalhieroglyphictoshowthatitwasintendedtobeaChristmasorNewYeargift；
therewouldbeacounterfoilwithspacefortherecipient\'snameandthedateofarrival，andallyouwouldhavetodowouldbetosignanddatethecounterfoil，addaconventionalhieroglyphicindicatingheartfeltthanksandgratifiedsurprise，putthethingintoanenvelopeandpostit。\"
\"Itsoundsdelightfullysimple，\"saidJanettawistfully，\"butpeoplewouldconsiderittoocut-and-
dried，tooperfunctory。\"